A number of years ago, I was sitting in my bedroom and having a wonderful quiet time. The Lord really encouraged me and I felt that I was set for my day--I was feeling spiritual. I walked out of my bedroom into the hallway that went to the kitchen by way of my living room.
There, amongst all of my best "stuff"--my breakables--were my two boys, having a pillow fight with gusto. They hit some button I didn't even know I had. I went ballistic. I started giving them the lecture of their life and started spewing all over them--they didn't know what was coming--and I am sure that some of it had been stored just waiting to come out. Poor unsuspecting creatures!
And then when it was over, I was as shocked as they were! How could I have just had a quiet time with the Lord and then before sixty seconds having gone by, acting out in ugly frustrated anger! Then, of course, guilt and remorse pointed the ugly finger of inadequacy at me! How can you dare to speak and write books on motherhood? I can't believe you made such a big deal out of nothing! You have probably scarred the boys for life!--and all the other accusing voices that have become so familiar at times.
I have met so many women in the past weeks who carry all sorts of guilt on their shoulders. And many feel they have failed so much there is no return. But God is always the God of second chances.
I was contemplating this on the way home from the airport the other day, that God's glory is revealed in the lives of people who make mistakes and have regrets.
Abraham lied about Sarah being his wife and was going to let her have an affair with a foreign king!
Noah got drunk. Moses killed a man, and later lost his temper *just after* being in the presence of God on the mountain getting the ten commandments-- and then he even threw them on the ground!
David committed adultery and then had his love's husband killed in battle.
Rahab was a harlot. Peter denied Jesus after living with Him as His best friend for three years. Paul was killing the followers of Jesus before he himself was confronted by Him on the road to Damascus.
Paul wrote in Romans 7, "Wretched man that I am. I do the very things I do not wish to do."
This is why living in the grace of God is so very important. Romans 8 tells us a great truth: "There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus ... Nothing can separate us from the love of God which is in Christ."
"It is by grace you have been saved, and that not of yourself, it is a gift of God." Ephesians 2:8
The older I get and the more I see how prone I am to stumble, the more humble I have had to become and the more dear my salvation and Christ's grace is. I love Him more and more because I better know how fallen I am, and yet He still loves me, works through me, patiently waits for me as I little by little grow up.
If you're tempted to give up on yourself, remember, God never will! He is the God of second chances; He is mindful we are but dust. Let Him pick you up, dust you off, and begin anew. The grace of the Lord be with you!