I wish I had known....


In this world you have tribulation,

but take courage....

I have overcome the world.


No amount of ranting or complaining can change the fact that we live in a fallen world, a

a battleground for souls.

I wish I had known sooner

or better understood

or earlier admitted

that I needed to accept this reality,

and to determine to grow up and determine to build up my strength little by little.

It would have saved me so much emotional havoc in the long run. ~ 

 From, Desperate - Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

If only I had understood that this was a battle for allegiance to the one who is true, and not an issue of choosing the right activities, or the best curriculum, or the most promising school choice,

If only I knew that the sacrificing of my life to God's design would be the making of my character;

To have understood that the longer I loved and served and gave myself to the training of my children, the more I would understand His fatherhood of me,


the complete sacrifice He was willing to make for me, his own unaware and shortsighted toddler child,

who often was blind to the workings of His ways and the wisdom of His voice,

even as my children were often blind to my wisdom given for their sakes.

If only I had known that the miracle of my children's long term faith and love for Him,  was not an issue of our being righteously mature and perfect in performance,

but upon our dependence for Him working according to His power and mercy--

that He was the one who made our paltry sacrifices enough to reach the hearts of our children,

because He cared more than we did about the loving and redeeming our children out of darkness into His light,

and that all He wanted from me was to give it all up to Him and to live by faith and to enjoy the gift He had given into my hands--

the gift of mothering these children, living this story, and seeing His miracles right before my eyes.

Commit your way unto the Lord, trust also in Him and He will do it. Psalm 37:5

If only I had known, it would have saved me so much emotional havoc, worry, impatience, and stress, 

And I would have lived restfully in peace, and enjoyed each day more, letting Him take the weight of my fretting and worry.

Peace of the Lord be with you today, the Lord is near.