Mentoring Monday! Serving Children to Teach Them to Serve!


Sunday Morning Feast



Way 6

The smell of coffee brewing, warm cinnamon bread coming out of the oven was one of the ways I would bribe my children to crawl out of bed on Sunday mornings early enough to get ready for church. Often, I would lay the Bible out by Clay's plate with a favorite verse I had been reading, in case he had not had enough time to pick a chapter out ahead of time.

Especially when my children grew older and activities, jobs and trips interrupted our previously predictable schedules that they had know as little children, I felt it important to gather all of us around the family table to invest once again in each other.  Sunday morning feasts were my way of gathering us every Sunday to catch up on all that was happening in our lives. Our church didn't start until 11, so we usually had plenty of time to eat a leisurely breakfast together.

From French toast to apple-pecan pancakes, scrambled cheese eggs to cinnamon rolls, breakfasts on this day were always a pleasure we enjoyed. Last Sunday, after a very active, tiring, but fun week with Joy home from college, I planned to arise to make a fun breakfast before we took her to the airport to fly back to school.

Much to my surprise, when I came downstairs, the table was set, and a pot of fresh tea was steeping that she had made to bring up to me in bed, and French toast from my homemade bread was sizzling and browning on our electric skillet.

"I just wanted to serve everyone one last meal before I took off to tell them I loved them. This has been such a fun week at home, I wanted everyone to know how much I loved being here and spending special time together."

There is almost nothing that means more to me than someone else cooking for me and setting the table or washing the dishes! I was deeply grateful. Even more, though, it has been fun for me to see my children serve each other as a part of their own inner integrity--a grid that they have owned that they are people who God has called to serve, help and meet the needs of others. What a treat to be served by my own sweet Joy!

Serving does not come naturally to most of us, it must be trained into our core values. Yet, teaching children to serve one another can be fun and also fulfilling as children love feel their own prowess and strength when they learn that something they have to give is needed by others.

Way # 6 of Our 24 Family Ways

"We serve one another, humbly thinking of the needs of others first."

Memory verse

"And whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all, 'For even as he son of man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life a ransom for many."

Mark 10:44o-45

Serving others helps children to learn how to think of someone other than themselves. Often, serving others softens their heart, comforts them in times of need, and obviously makes their loads in life easier. Serving is a skill and character quality that is so easy to spot because it is so rare in adults today.

Many moms say, "If someone would just take care of my children once in a while, I would be soooo grateful just to have a break."

If a child grows up serving, it will come as a more natural part of giving their whole lives.

From making, " I love you," cards to plates of cookies for neighbors, cleaning a child's room, making a special sick tray when a child was in bed, serving meals at the homeless shelter, and so many more ways, helped our children to learn to give of their time and effort to ease someone else's life.

Occasionally grumbling, or dragging their feet accompanied the training exercise of serving others. None of us is naturally unselfish.  But often, it created a positive sense of self-worth in our children as adults would thank them or people would be pleased with their efforts.

I actually think that serving as a way of life at our many national parenting and mom's conferences over the years, in some ways tied my children's heart to Christ's heart of giving his own life, because all of the kids have verbalized how much of a role conferences have played in shaping their faith.

Jesus called his disciples to serve along beside him and in this practice, they began to perceive themselves as leaders.

This week, engage your family and even young children in thinking how they might help or serve someone in need. You will probably be surprised at how much they will enjoy being a part of something that makes them feel rather important. The earlier you start, the better, as it will become a part of the fabric of their lives!

Serve away!

Today, you will also find me writing at about Kind words that melt our children's hearts!

Today is the last day to enter the drawing for the 7 copies of Heartfelt Discipline I will be giving away tomorrow! Be sure to remind your friends to enter today for an opportunity to get Clay's book:


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