This morning, when it was still dark, I crept out of bed so as not to awaken anyone in the house. I have always had a child's delight in being alone in the early morning, like I was playing hide and seek with the bodies asleep in my home. I made a big mug of coffee (with a dash of vanilla!) and drove away from my home at 5:45 as the sun was peeking out behind the clouds.
I was in need of time with Him, my one true friend, my counselor, my comforter, my Father. Sometimes with all the bodies and voices swirling about in my home, I lose Him. And so, I have learned to leave and invest in the morning hours with Him always, always waiting to talk to me. The Sunday morning breakfast feast will be ready at 9:30 as usual, but I will be different by the time I get back home.
Birds seemed to chirp more loudly than usual, the sun sparkled as the gentle waves of the lake danced slowly, and I was awash in peace and quiet, alone with Him.
I read Psalm 25 many times this morning--Lead me, teach me your paths, Instruct me in your way---the words became my prayers. Always big issues of life weigh too heavy on my shoulders. But very quickly in His bigness, my needs become small.
I will wait on you, oh Lord.
And then He reminded me--David waited and waited and waited for God and sang and danced while he waited. He did not take the throne from Saul. He did not murder Saul when God delivered Saul into David's hands, he just humbly waited on God to make His move--for years and years He waited, in peace, and writing and praising all along. Is this what it means for David to be a man after God's heart---looking to Him, waiting on Him, rejoicing in Him, in the midst of battles going on all around in his life?
Saul, however, though big, handsome and strong, was not considered worthy to remain as king. He took matters into his own hands. He exerted his will, his way, his wisdom in being king. He did not wait on God, as he thought he knew better--and so God rejected him from being king.
Oh, please Lord, do not reject me from being usable to you and your kingdom purposes. Help me to wait on you as David did.
God wants those who wait on Him, follow His lead, hear His voice. I have noticed in my own life that God is not in a hurry and rarely does things quickly, but in the process of His leading, He cares more about forming character, building holiness, stretching our trust, strengthening our muscles of faith--and through this process He builds in us a legacy of integrity.
And so, this morning, my soul is once again filled with joy, peace, worship and rest--I do not know the future, but I rest in the one who does. It all comes from a habit, a rhythm of making time to be with Him, to hear His voice, to follow His ways. Years and years and years of getting away--to Him.
May He guide you to His presence today.
And now the favorite of the verses I pondered today:
Make me to know your ways, O Lord; Teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, For you are the God of my salvation.
For you I wait all the day. Good and upright is the Lord; Therefore He instructs sinners in the way.
He leads the humble in justice and He teaches the humble His way. All the paths of the Lord are lovingkindness and truth.
Who is the man who fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way He should go. Indeed, none of those who wait for you will be ashamed. Psalm 25