What is the cross you have been asked to bear?

Titian Christ carrying his cross

And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.  For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world, and loses or forfeits himself?

Luke 9:23-25

My birthday was truly a blessing this year. So many years in August my children are on trips with friends or relatives or camps or anywhere but home. Since I am so connected at the hip and heart to my children, I sometimes get sad when we are away from each other on birthdays since they are such a big deal and such a time of blessing in our home.

This year, however, my cup was filled to the brim with such wonderful well-wishers (thank you very much!) and moments of reflection on my life and just how much the Lord has blessed me in my journey with Him.

Before I went to bed, I opened my little devotional to read one last verse to end my day in worship of Him. I have this commitment to think of my birthday as a marking of what I have lived and what I will commit to live for Him in the next year. My heart was soft and I told Him I wanted to hear His voice, His will, to please Him in every way. Then I read:

"Take up your cross and follow me,"

These words and the following seemed to burn into my heart.

I am somewhat of a Pollyanna at heart and love for everyone to be happy and all people living in harmony with each other. However, God has not allowed that to be my story. I have many conflicts that it seems will never resolve, challenges, issues, stresses that come from being in a fallen world. Most I will never write about or speak of because I so believe in loyalty and discretion when it comes to people in my personal life.

Many of these anguishing difficulties,  I have had to bear for years in waiting for God's answer to my prayers.

But this moment , in the darkness of  night, with only Him and me talking, I realized that these "crosses to bear" are just what my heavenly Father wants me to take up to bear. My cross of the pain of my heart is just the place that He wants me to trust, to worship, to accept the limitations, as a part of the story of my life that can glorify Him if I am willing to bear it joyfully right where I am.

If I carry these, bear them up, accept them, I will be pleasing in my heart to my only Love--accepting His will for me with grace and resolve to live there. "Not my will, but yours be done." Total submission to what is.

My Christian life cannot be, "I am yours, but I know you will let me whine and complain about this particular issue or person because it is hard for me." Yet, a new realization came across me that evening that these crosses are what He wants me to pick up and carry--they are a part of my purpose in this world--that somehow when I carry them as a gift, as His will, I can better reflect His glory, His supernatural peace, His love and His grace to sustain me.

So, what cross is He asking you to bear by faith, and as a point of worship to Him? Is it a child? A difficult marriage? Irrational or angry or passive family members? An illness? A death? A disappointment? It is only as we pick up our crosses and carry them to the place of dying to ourselves and living for Him, in every circumstance, that we will live in freedom, grace, love and worship.

What cross will you carry, for His glory, today?

I am committing to accept my cross, to take the load with a grateful heart, that He who sees me each day and has goodwill towards me, knows that this cross, my cross is just what I need to suit my soul and heart for His kingdom.

Summer party for the Dads

I host a monthly Bible study in my home with lots and lots of sweet moms--all ages, backgrounds and types. I have grown to love these wonderful women. Because we have 260 on our address list, we know that every time (since children get sick, life happens and men travel) we know that we will have a varied group every time. Some on the list moved away long ago but still keep getting all of our emails. And of course we have new moms every time. But Clay and I thought there should always be a little something for the dads since the moms were getting a lot of input. Every summer, we host a potluck for the moms and dads who want to come to hear a talk about home discipleship or education or marriage or whatever is the need that year.

To lure the dads in, we offer great food. Each mom brings a meat dish, and then either a salad, desert or veggie. We had so much food this year.

About 90 people came and of course at first some of the guys who are new wonder, "Who are these Clarksons and what have I gotten myself into?

But we have enough of the dads from the past that take initiative to meet and greet and tell enough stories and jokes that all seem to feel at home.

On the deck

some at tables

and then we gather in the living room

Some pile up on the stairs

Clay talks with the Dads about nurturing the life of Christ in the home from his new book, Educating the Whole Hearted Child

Friendships are begun, thoughts are stimulated, hearts are open and a good time was had by all.

I've never been so surprised!

Surprise! and I was.

So, Sarah and I are driving in the car toward the home of my sweet friend, Phyllis. "I hope Phyllis remembers. I forgot to call her. Did you? We emailed about having a cup of tea together a couple of weeks ago."

"I think she will remember, Mom, but you have both been out of town, so we will see when we get there."

Phyllis had lived in Austria, too. We mutually love almost everything about Austria. It was the place where both of us learned so much about Jesus--trusting Him as we worked behind the iron curtain. Loving the beauty, the flowers, the mountains, the atmosphere, the coffee and the tea, and holding God's hand as we walked through a new culture and language and having to depend on Him. So, that is a part of why my heart and Phyllis's are connected. We did not know each other when we were there, but we cut our spiritual teeth on the same place at the same time. And I know that when I am with Phyllis, I will be in the presence of God.

And so, I was excited. She said she would have a pot of tea on her porch and celebrate my birthday with Sarah and me in our mutual, beloved friendship.

I knew that many of my sweet local friends, were tied up in a meeting for their children. And so it never entered my mind.

But, there they were, those sweet ones who could make it, smiling faces, laughing, you could have pushed me over with a feather.

Often alone on my birthday and away from my mother these past years, I didn't know how much I needed to be with friends. The tears flowed and flowed. How did Sarah manage this without me knowing? My sweet, amazing daughter who arranged it.

A breakfast feast--lovingly prepared with a dish from each friend. And of course, Phyllis used the tea set from Austria.

The best part was that they shared memories, life-shared, love, impact and blessing. My cup was indeed filled and I felt so very loved. I am so very grateful and humbled to have sweet friends who took the time to fill my heart. And now I move into my day with a new perspective. Love and grace makes all the difference. I am so very grateful.

Hanging out with the right crowd?

Mary Cassatt--Friends celebrating life together

"Tell me what company thou keepst, and I'll tell thee what thou art." - Miguel de Cervantes (1547 - 1616) Spanish novelist.

There is a smile on my face and a happiness shining in my soul. Celebrating life with a true jewel of a friend this morning on her flowered porch, and I already know that china tea cups, fruit, candles and love will be waiting for me. Even last night I was already excited.

Finding a true friend is a treasure--one who, whenever I am with her, my love for God grows, my personal heart is affirmed, hope shines its light on my dreams, and my emotional cup is filled.

Many years ago, I remember Howard Hendricks saying how important it is to be around those who walk with God. And so, I made this commitment and wrote it in a life journal:  "Invest time with friends who build you up in all the areas of your ideals as often as possible. Cultivate them, affirm them, love them, invest in them.

Spend as little time with critical people, those who gossip, those who doubt and are always negative and drain your soul. You can only have so many drainers in your life at once."

And so, I have sought out friends who are loyal and walk with God. I don't get to see them often enough, but I do make anchors in my schedule for them because I need them. I invite them to my home, they invite me to theirs. It is a lifeline that has kept me holding on to ideals.

I also know that I must own the refreshment and restoration for my own soul as it is constantly being depleted on a regular basis--I am only happy and able to cope when I put back what has been taken away. Fun, beauty, pleasure is a wise investment for those whose life demands a lot.

And so, I am dressed up, made up, feel like a little girl going to a tea party--and that is really exactly what I am doing. I am going for a visit to my treasured friend. I will think about all the responsibilities later, as I know they will still be there. But this strategic meeting will keep me for faithful in the long run.

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PS Guess I need to clarify a bit. I assume that my audience knows me, but I was not clear enough. Nowhere do I say that we are not to reach out or share with the lost or give sympathy to those who need it. I hope that I am able to give encouragement and grace to many, many all over the world, every year. I have committed myself to that. Yet, there will always be more "drainers", those who draw from my time, heart and soul), than I can ever take care of. The drainers who are God's will are my sweet children and husband and then inner circle friends--we take from each other on a regular basis. However, I must monitor how many I am willing to give myself away to, after them, or I will overcommit and be unwise in expending myself to a point of burnout. I am talking here to so many women I know--those who have given their lives to ministry and ideals and serving. But, I see so many women, like myself, who have few or little boundaries. There are so many lost and depleted and depressed and overwhelmed women in my life that I would just love to help. I do not want them to be alone or feel invisible at all.

But, I have had to learn that if I take on too many people and too many issues, I deplete all of my resources and then have so little to give. I have also learned the difference between women who are depressed and truly going through difficult and demanding situations and those who really are destructive in their relationships. But most of all what I wanted to communicate is that we need to hang around with people who help us to want to keep our ideals, to have as our inner circle those who live by faith, who walk with God, who have hearts of compassion, who spur us to a greater walk with God, so that we can keep holding fast to our ideals in a fallen culture and so that we will remain faithful. No one can do it alone--no one can keep giving and giving and giving without burning out, unless they make the time for Sabbath rests in life.

I am guilty of giving to a fault and then blowing my stack and I have had to learn as a leader that part of my responsibility is to refuel, even when my plate is overfull. Grace to all.

It's the Christians who make me crazy!

When I dress up and try to look like a real adult at conferences, and then I speak about all of my ideals and commitments passionately, it would be so easy for me to give the illusion that I am a perfect person who has finally reached maturity and rarely ever sin. However, when I return home from a great conference like the one in the Woodlands last weekend, I still have to live in my home with myself. And myself is still sinful and selfish at heart and in the midst of grand ideals, I can still stumble and trip over the most menial of issues--like traffic or a crowded seat on the plane, or a night without sleep.

Like the beast in the fairy tale, though he was really a prince in position, he was a beast on the inside. And his inside self came to the outside.

Thank the Lord that will never happen to me. I don't think I would feel comfortable having everyone in the world see all of the darkness or pettiness lurking inside my soul, after all, I am still in process.

I just wanted to put it out there. All of us struggle and wrestle within. If it wasn't for my children, I would be so much more holy. It's those unreasonable in-laws. The people who have hurt me the most are those Christians in my church who were mean-spirited and have been so critical of me (or my children.) Or, if my supposed Christian husband would actually act in a loving way, we would have such a good marriage. Or my family doesn't agree with my Christian ideals, or If the pastor at our church wasn't so unloving or judgmental, If, if, if.......we think and say, and we all have some of these issues, and it is the Christian ones that make me crazy and yet, it is normal life in a fallen world.

We all live in this broken place--this is the place separated from perfect love, perfect grace. It is not wrong to feel anger or depression or discouragement or deep fear or hate. You are not an unattractive personality or person if you feel these things--do not listen to the lie that it is all your fault, as that only leads to despair and hopelessness.

But, it is what we do with all of these feelings. You are not a bad person for being immature or even for feeling anger at the stress another sinful person brings to you. But how you live by faith in the next moments, how you speak to your brain--if you take every thought captive--make it a prisoner--will determine if you will become more free, more loving, more filled with grace and compassion or if you will become a victim of the darkness of living in a sinful world. What you do with your thoughts determines what you become captivated by.

But, it is also best to not allow the "bad" people in your life to define you. You cannot make immature people mature. You cannot control how they behave. But you can control your own heart--and that is the foundation of your whole being--not what you do--but what you think and cherish and practice inside of you--in your heart where the beast lives.

Remember who you are: You are forgiven. You are royalty in the eyes of God. You are not your past--the old things have past away, all things have become new.

It was for freedom that Christ set you free, therefore do not be subject to a yoke of slavery.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death.

There is therefore nothing that can separate you from the love of God.

Walk in your newness. Live in your beauty-you have the imprint of a master artist on your soul. Throw off the people in your life who would steal your joy and bring His light into your darkness.

Spiritual maturity is a process of becoming mature one tiny step, one day at a time. We are all in process until we see Him face to face. Thank goodness he allows me to be the toddler that I am, but He keeps loving me and bringing me forward.

All is grace. All is forgiven. All is new.

Today, I am.........

Up early eating a delicious veggie omelet, drinking strong coffee and alive in my heart with all of the wonderful women I am meeting at the Woodlands HS conference. Such hard working, devoted, inspired moms--all of whom deserve a break, need a massage, a maid, an assistant and a vacation. So blessed to be in their company. So enjoyed our chocolate party last night with 289 women celebrating life together. But I always wonder afterwards--did I say too much? Did I help at all? Do these women know just how much God loves them? Then off to sleep. I talked to Joy and Joel late just before sleep, who lived through a torrential rainstorm somewhere between Colorado and Arizona in Joel's new second hand car that he bought on Thursday. Joy left her driver's license at WalMart and they had to go back for it. I found them in Flagstaff, sequestered at a hotel for the night and making great memories together and building on their relationship. Joy's job is to keep Joel awake, and to give encouragement and help to him this week as he foray's into California to find an apartment, and seek a job in the film scoring industry. And so thankful to the Martinez's, our dear family friends, who will keep our two while they are pursuing apartments this week.

Sarah called us in the middle of the night to ask about our dog, Kelcie. Seems she ate from the garbage bag some old chicken, threw up all over our carpet and now will not move from the porch outside--what should be done? No one wants our sweet,funny,  belligerent dog to be sick. Never, never a dull moment.

Nate called with lots of news yesterday about life, work, friends, movies, dreams--right in the middle of one of my talks. And so I told my audience to yell out "HI, Nathan, " to him and it brought him to chuckles. (I just happened to be speaking about being available to your children to seize the moment and find time to really pay attention to their personality and needs when he called--so it just seemed like a providential live application to my talk. (Thanks, Nate, for calling at just the right time.)

Clay and I working side by side and remembering what we felt like as parents of young children.

And now off to speak again and see old friends and drink more coffee and tea and keep making memories. I am blessed.

Which wich or which family are you?

Up at 3:30 this morning, barely could crawl out of bed, and threw on my clothes, zipped up my bags, and stepped into the car, all with my eyes still closed. Clay and I were on our way to the airport in Denver, (one hour away), to fly to Houston to speak at the Woodlands Marriott Hotel where there will be several thousand families. I love coming here. We spent many years of our family years with our children in Texas and love the heritage, the hospitality, and so many wonderful friends. Whenever I come here, many memories are revived--those early days with small children trying to figure it all out. How did I make it through--me who had so little training or experience with children.

But, being here at the end of the childhood of all of my children is deeply satisfying. I love who they have become and to think they could actually make it to adulthood in a healthy condition in spite of Clay's and my imperfect parenting--all God's grace is good.

Arriving at the hotel around noon, found us with such an appetite, as breakfast, about a thousand of hours ago, was sparse. And somehow exhaustion heightens my hunger.

Just at the end of the driveway at our hotel is a small sandwich shop called Which wich? A cute fast food sandwich place with many options for a sandwich. I am more of a casserole sandwich girl myself--more about how much other stuff you can get on it, besides the meat. I love all the veggies, onions, green peppers, lettuce, tomatoes, olives, avocado, and pickles and whatever else they will give me and of course I am a whole wheat type. Clay is much more classic--turkey, lettuce, tomato and onion.

It reminds me, all of us have the freedom to make unique choices for our families and children. It would be absurd to tell all people they had to like my way of making a sandwich. And so would it be absurd to think that there was just one way to have a godly, fruitful family. God leaves so much room for personality, interest, skills, heritage, background training, culture and motivation. As long as the life of God and enthusiasm for ideals is a part of the mix, somehow God's spirit mysteriously moves amongst the members of the people making up that family, and creates abundant, vibrant life.

And so now you know some of what I will be speaking about this weekend.

We are a bookish, arts, nature and walks, traveling, idealistic, ministry, musical, coffee and tea, chocolate, cinnamon roll, discussions, dancing and out of the box sort of family.

What kind of family are you?

Celebrating the miracle of this moment

Carl Larsson One of my favorite artists

"Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing.... Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away."

Ann Voskamp 1000 Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You  Are

I look for art, books, stories, people who feed my soul, and whose life serves to feed my mind and heart long after I have left them. And so, I love how God has crafted Ann Voscamp into such an artist. Her words feed and deeply touch my soul. I am so grateful she leans her ear toward His voice and then faithfully paints word pictures that express my heart. If you haven't bought her book, you must be sure to do so. Here is where you may order it.

This summer, I am teaching myself to linger. It is not natural for me, one who is and has been in a hurry for so long. But in the hurry, I have missed the miracles of moments.

Now, however, my every day with my children is a gift. They are vibrant, strong, idealistic, godly, loving, fun and wonderful. They still make messes and even sin once in a while, but oh, what life and beauty permeates my home with their presence. But when they give me a day, I am blessed. All will be gone except for Joy this fall, and so I am trying to groom myself to listen, to look, to love and to really see the miracle before me.

I learned this lesson many years ago on the occasion of a birthday.

On Joy's fifth birthday, I planned a party that I thought I would please her. Too much effort to clean the house so that the moms of the kids I invited would see an orderly house, kept me from focussing on my precious birthday child. I was Martha-ing about putting out cake, balloons, favors, making finger sandwiches, planning what I thought she would like--all the while looking at the day from the grid my adult eyes.

The children came and in just two hours, they fought over the toys, spilled the red punch on another little girl's favorite dress, one little boy threw a toy across the room and hit another little girl in the head and made her cry. It was a memory of messes, crying, friction, stress and Joy was unhappy the whole time, feeling that she was trying to please me by staying at the party.

When the all the guests finally left, I heard a "pound, pound, pound of feet running across our deck. I walked out of our kitchen door and glanced into the afternoon shadows playing tag with the fading sun over our mountain, and there was sweet Joy.

Dressed in her old, slightly stained and torn favorite ballet suit, she was running, giggling across the deck with a bubble wand at her head level with bubbles flying out behind her. I stopped and sat on our picnic bench and just gazed at her as the sun went down. For an hour she played and ran and delighted in the beauty of her bubble parade. I took it in, I cherished the picture in my mind, and chastised myself for missing the glory of her beauty and youth in the busyness of my tirades to fulfill my expectations of the party I thought would make her happy.

"Oh, Mommy!" she exclaimed, "This is my favorite time of my whole day! I am having sooooooooo much fun. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful present."

She climbed into my lap with milk mustache sprinkled with  cupcake crumbles, sticky bubble juice on her hair, and snuggled up with a happy sigh.

And so, I melted into her little body, breathing in the atmosphere of her pure-hearted, innocent love. I did then cherish the moment and took the time to take a soul photograph whose imprint will be there forever.

And so tomorrow, before Joel moves away on Thursday, I will live in every moment, celebrate all the sweet fellowship that is right in front of me, no matter how many dishes they use, or whatever noise they make. All of it will be precious and priceless and I redeem the moments for memories to visit next week when they are all gone.

Holiness is not law-keeping but love-keeping

Janis Rozentals

"Let the children come to me."

If you love me, you will keep my commandments. John 14:15

There is something in our flesh that wants to try to earn God's love. We love to check off mental lists of what we have done for Him to be good little Christians. We measure ourselves by others who do not look as "Christian" or do as much as we do. We feel guilty when we misbehave and do something that makes us feel "bad" or sinful.

The truth is, because we could never be holy or perfect on our own, he had to save us. We could never attain to His standards. And so, "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

But, you say, holiness must exhibit an excellent life. Yes, I agree. But holiness, being willing to be set aside for God's purposes, to make Him known, to proclaim His kingdom and kingdom ways,  spills over into our behavior, from a loving heart. When our  heart is so grateful to God for His gentle, humble mercy on all of us who are so likely to be selfish and sinful, His redeeming grace that wipes our faults and sins away as though we have never sinned, His affirmation of our worth, because He has adopted us, that we can't want to do anything but please Him.

It is significant to me that it was Peter, the wonderful, outspoken, imperfect, passionate lover of God, who so publicly failed, admonishes us to "Be Holy as I am holy."

Peter was not in any way telling us to perform holy deeds, but, to, from our hearts, be His, love His ways, serve Him wholeheartedly.

Peter also says, "But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR God's OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;" I Peter 2: 9

When Jesus was asked what the most important law was, his response was, "You shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart."

When one understands that it is God who created this beautiful place for us to live--the stars, the vast and powerful oceans, the thousands of flowers that bloom in the spring, the vibrant reds, oranges, yellows of dying leaves in the fall, then worship is a natural response. Praise for what is good.

Jesus said of the woman, weeping and washing his feet with her tears, "She who is forgiven much, loves much."

Why do we stay moral and pure in marriage? Because we know it pleases Him. He calls marriage sacred because it is a picture of our bridegroom Jesus loving and serving and committing himself to preparing us for the wedding feast. And so out of wanting to honor this sacred picture, we love and serve and give of ourselves generously to our marriage, so that our lives can reflect to others the beauty of committed, gracious love.

We serve our children and give up our own time to sacrifice for them, not out of works or duty, but because Jesus himself gave his love and blessing to children, even after the harsh hearted response to the children from his disciples. We understand that God said children are a blessing and the fruit of the womb is a reward, and so we cherish them, and serve them as Jesus served His disciples, because we deeply revere Him, love Him and want to honor Him.

A holy life will reflect the character of Christ because it springs out of the heart whose life flows out from knowing Him. And so excellence, sacrifice, hard work, loyalty, love, joy, peace, patience, and so on, will be the virtues that grow in and through our holy lives, but it will come from being connected to Him, the vine, the source of all goodness. Not a harsh, I will gut it out sort of works oriented law keeping, but a graceful, growing, developing character of grace as seen through the lives of Jesus's disciples.

God reminds us that holiness is His work. We read in Hebrews, "For they (our parents) disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness."

God, as a good Father, is committed to slowly but surely, training us to become holy, like Him. But He does it through loving us, serving us, teaching us, calling us, providing for us. A lifetime of loving Him will produce a life that is holy.

Even in his last prayers, Jesus shows us how much He wants us to know His Father's love, "I pray that they may know the love with which you have loved me from the foundation of the world."

Love and holiness cannot be separated. Loving Him, will produce serving Him from a grateful heart and the process of holiness will overtake our character as we seek to know and love Him. Holiness spills out of an overflow of a heart in love with God.

This is the time to be Holy

Moses holding forth the Law (ten commandments) Rembrandt

I am the LORD who brought you up out of Egypt to be your God; therefore be holy, because I am holy. Leviticus 11:45

because it is written, "YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY." I Peter 1: 16

Today's culture gives us permission to do pretty much what we feel like doing. "I'm ok, you're ok." Even in Christian circles. Many of the phone calls I receive from my older children when they have lived or traveled all over the world are about one more disappointment with would be believers, who have justified compromise. Moral compromise, behavioral compromise, "It's ok--everyone does it. It's not that bad." mentality.

One of my goals in my life is to search out people, books, places that will cause me to want to love God more, want to live a more excellent life, want to devote myself to ministry--those areas that cultivate in me a desire to be holy, set apart for God's purposes. I have three friends who are older, and they are stalwart, seasoned, mature women. I know that when I am with them, I will hear something from the word. I will be challenged by their thoughts, their lives, their convictions and the ways they are living.

I am far from perfect, but how fortunate I have  been to have walked with God for many years and to have been challenged to hold fast to Him, amidst all of my struggles. Even as Jacob wrestled with God and would not let him go until He blessed Him, so it has been  my heart's desire to hold fast to Him until I see Him face to face.

It is a rare privilege to meet someone who has determined to be holy--truly set apart for the Lord. A holy person listens to His voice, seeks His word, prays for His guidance. I believe that God is so willing to work in great ways in and through the lives of many a person, but the requirement is the heart--

Some of the requirements of one who is Holy

1. A person who is set apart for God's purposes has learned to view their lives in light of eternity (Seek first the kingdom of God; Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven and not on earth; Teach us to number our days that we might present to thee a heart of wisdom; Two commandments--love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor.)

2. We must put away our sin inside of our hearts where no one else can see---

Is there an idol in your life? (money, television, facebook, twitter, acceptance from others, popularity, romance novels, anything that replaces God in our hearts, as our source of satisfaction or joy is an idol--God will not tolerate idols.)

Is there any bitterness, insecurity, fear, anger, condemnation of others, behavior (critical attitude, judgment, pornography, lust) that we have not yielded in our hearts to God? God and sin cannot dwell together in the same space of our hearts. Whatever we practice, we become--we cannot love God and practice bitterness or hate or fear--we must choose our master and yield our heart's to Him when the Holy Spirit puts his finger on an attitude or practice--the more we ignore His voice, the more we become used to listening to the wisdom of the world which is all around us.

3. One who is focussed on pleasing God must spend time in His word. I am surrounded by people who say, "God told me this." "Or why did God do that to me?" lots of God talk, but no basis in scripture. I look for those who are listening to the voice of God, "How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the path of sinners or sit in the seat of scoffers, but his delight is in the law of the Lord and in this law He meditates day and night.

4. A Holy person is humble--meek, compassionate, and gives grace to others. (Jesus said, "I am humble and meek. Learn from me.") A proud person cannot be used by God. He gives grace to the humble but is opposed to the proud. I have not met an older person who is godly who has not been humbled in her own eyes.

Humility leads a person to say, "Life is not about me or my pleasure or my happiness. It is about Him and His ways. Be it done to me according to your will, Oh God."

As I look at all the obstacles of my life, all the difficulties and deeply painful times, I see that God was leading me on a course for my heart, so that I would understand the struggles of others, have more compassion for them, learn to extend His grace to them. A holy person says, "Have your way in my life and I will look at everything that happens to me as a lesson or place where I might be faithful to you or where I might have something to learn about ministry."

5. A person who is holy is committed to growing in love, because this is what pleases God. Loving means putting away anger, harshness and violence for any reason. Love means seeing the other person through the eyes of serving and encouraging them--not asking what the person can do for me. Love means generously pouring out life-giving words and messages--I believe in you. I appreciate you. I accept you. I will help you. I love you and let there be no doubt, I will be committed to you and seek your best my whole life.

Love does not come easily, but it matures over time. But without love, we cannot please God. He cares not so much that our theology is perfectly in line, but that we serve others in love. (The Good Samaritan is one example.)

6. Holiness requires that we choose to believe in God's presence, purpose, attention, every moment, every day. Without faith, it is impossible to please Him. We believe in the dark times of life. We worship and sing to Him every day. We wait as long as it takes to see His answer to our prayers. We wait on God and God only.

I want to be faithful and holy until I see Him face to face. All of life mitigates against my faithfulness--I am weak and vulnerable. I am surrounded by voices of the world. I am tempted regularly. I am lazy and tired and undisciplined at times. But, I have written and made commitments that are at the front of my mind to call me to my ideals. These commitments speak to my heart, call to me to keep going, give me personal accountability.

What commitments have you made that keep you going? What are your ideals, your hopes, that keep you going? No one can make you be faithful or strong, but God is cheering for you, hoping you will be one of those who stands fast, holds on, chooses Him, desires in your heart to be holy and faithful to Him. What will you choose today?

I rather like this quote by Carl Sandburg, ""Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you."

— Carl Sandburg

Be careful lest other people spend it for you--a set apart life is intentional, it is a life lived not for the here and now and to please the voices of this world. We do only have one life in which to live a great and inspiring story.

I will be talking about some of my own commitments in the days ahead. Let's encourage one another to hold fast, to be one of those set apart ones. What are some of your commitments? What are your personal heart ideals? I would love to hear.