Mothers Are Life Givers & Protectors In A World That Desperately Needs Both

Children do not accidentally become righteous leaders or emotionally healthy and productive adults — any more than seeds thrown randomly to the wind grow to be part of a thriving garden.

Simply throwing children into a cultural tornado and hoping for the best gives them little chance of living up to their potential or coming out unharmed. Someone needs to take responsibility for their nurture, protection, nourishment, intellectual development, manners, recreation, personal needs, and spiritual development. Someone needs to commit time and energy into staying close to them as they grow, encouraging and correcting and teaching.

Doesn't it make sense that a wise God, who ordered the rest of creation in an intricate and systematic way, would also have provided such a person to care for children — to commit wholeheartedly to creating the right environment for them to grow and to prepare them to live throughout eternity bearing his image?

Children are eternal human beings whose lives and souls will last throughout all of eternity. God has given them into our hands to protect and lead and shepherd them through this life on earth. The kingdom of this world and all of its pleasures last only for a time. Committing ourselves to fulfilling God's design falls under the admonition to seek first his kingdom — the kingdom of heaven where we will live for all eternity.

Read more about this in The Mission of Motherhood.

Tea Time Tuesday: No One Sees Me — I Feel Lost!

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Precious is the innocent moment when a tiny child, confidently proclaims, “I’ll bet you can’t find me,” while his feet or body are conspicuously sticking out in a very openly exposed place. But, we pretend, for the sake of the child's innocent heart, that we cannot see him and we say, “Where could Johnny be? I can't find him anywhere?” We allow him to play at being real, and honor his developing ability to interact with life. Snickers and giggles abound as we look high and low while so very near to the beloved child.

And so, in comparison to God’s transcendence, He allows us, as mere toddlers, to play at life and seek to grow and explore and exercise our limited human authority to bring about our goals and purposes in life and to expound on our own prowess.

Yet, truly, as our divine parent, who knows all things, sees all spiritual warfare, He is still with us even when we cannot "feel" His companionship. We cry, are truly sad in this broken world. We do not understand. We feel lost in this broken place, where He knows we will never be fulfilled or complete. Yet, He patiently leads, guides and attends to us as we slowly mature and gain perspective. But God is never lost and we are never lost to him. He always sees us wherever we think we are hiding or in the dark.

"Where can I go from thy spirit or where can I flee from thy presence? Even the darkness is not dark to thee and the night is as bright as the day." -Psalm 139

"I feel so lost. I can't find my old self anymore. I don't know how to come back to the light."

“You feel lost,” I said, “but God is not lost and He has not lost you. Just wait and be still and in time the light will come gently pouring into your heart,” my voice whispered with as much love as I could pour into her darkness.

He shares our grief, frustrations and grieves with us in our broken hearts. We falsely suppose our happiness should come in this world. We seek to control our lives. We pour out tears of sorrow at our heartbreak and barriers. We may feel lost. He is never lost or has lost control over us.

"I am with you always, even unto the end of the earth."

Until we close our eyes here and awaken into His lovely presence.

Waiting With Great Hope

“Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” Psalm 27:14

Over 5 years ago, I decided I wanted a budding tree in my garden that had pink blossoms. We live at 7250 feet high in altitude. Many plants just do not grow here—most roses, many flowers and plants that I love. I have tried many bulbs—the dear eat them all. But I wanted to try to have a blooming tree.

And so I bought this lovely little tree. I followed all the directions on how to make it grow, how to nurture the soil. Nothing happened. No blooms, some limbs grew through the years, though always bare. One year I had one branch that bloomed. I kept hoping for an abundance, but nothing happened.

However, this year, as if overnight, I came out into my yard and a miracle had happened—there were these luscious blooms covering my little tree.

I just needed to wait long enough, water it, fertilize it. In its own time, it burst forth in beauty.

The Lord spoke to me through this tree. There have been many things I have prayed for that took seemingly forever to get an answer. Yet, God was working all along.

The word “wait”in reference to God is written and repeated over 130 times in scripture—it must be important for us to heed.

Often, when I was raising and educating my children, I couldn’t see obvious growth or blossoming.

Many times there were dreams in my heart that kept blooming inside but had no evidence of anything happening on the outer circumstances of my life.

And yet, now my children have bloomed all over the place. Many of my dreams have been being lived out in real life.

But in all of these instances, God was faithful but moved ever so slowly. There must be some great value in us being strong and taking courage and waiting in faith upon God.

Perhaps there is something in your life that you have been hoping would come to fruition but just haven’t see the “blossoming” come to pass.

Wait patiently and take courage my friend. God is at work in our lives behind the scene accomplishing many things that we cannot see. He has indeed made the “blossoming” of my life more beautiful than I knew possible. I hope and am praying for you today that as you wait on Him, you, too, will see the miracle of blooms appearing in your life.

Wait, be strong, and let your heart take courage. Have hope, your labor is not in vain-may you see a miracle as I did.

Embodying the Story & Purpose God Has For You

When I look back on my own life, birthing four children, having three miscarriages, moving 20 times, and living through the seasons of their growing up years, I realize that most of my life was spent loving my family well in the midst of chores, character training, thousands of meals, and lots of cleaning up our messes over and over again while seeking to grow spiritually and intellectually along the way. I was hidden in the rich soil of shaping a great life.

I had promised to be faithful to Jesus, and I believed He had directed me to give my whole self to passing on a legacy of faith, training in character, living joyfully and intentionally, and caring for my family’s needs. Most of the giving of my life in worship of Him was invisible to the outside world.

I did not get an award for washing one more dish, lifting up one more prayer for a child’s decisions, or kissing one more forehead after a bad dream, or getting up at 4:30 a.m. to write what I was learning in my journal.

Yet I always had the desire to please God and be obedient to what He had for me to do, so that kept me going through the hidden years. What we do when no one is looking shows the integrity of our lives. To live by our convictions even when no one else notices becomes the most important work of all because that choice honors God and not ourselves. What we practice, we become.

Living the humble existence of a praying, teaching, guiding, and loving parent might not result in awards, but, believe me, there are many rewards. You will bear rich fruit in your life as you embody the story and purpose God has spoken into being for you. And you will witness the fruit in your child’s life again and again as they grow into their story. Your words speak life over your child, and your nurturing care and biblical discipleship give life to them as well.

Read more about this in Teatime Discipleship for Mothers and Daughters.

Tea Time Tuesday: Subduing Our Worlds, Caring for Our Life

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“God blessed them and said, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it.’”

Subdue: To work and rule over something in such a way as to cause it to flourish. Bringing order out of chaos.

On today’s Tea Time Tuesday podcast, I address what it looks like to bring beauty from chaos, light to darkness, care for our worlds to cause them to flourish. Even as God brought design, beauty and order to our world, so in His image, we do the same—but within our unique personalities, preferences and culture. We model to our children what it looks like to “take care” of our worlds of life and love.

“Mama, home was the place where my faith was ignited, my heart was filled with love, my mind was stretched to think profoundly, and my life was filled with beauty and goodness in every possible way. I never knew until now how much work, effort, and vision it cost you. Thank you for doing all the hard work, Mama. It was a gift to all of us.”

What deep joy filled my heart as one of my adult children reflected upon this as we were walking together in local parks. I’m not sure they could appreciate it when they were growing up in my home. As I look back over my life as one who was responsible to bring order to my home, to bring harmony in our relationships, to create beauty in the midst of a dark time, I realize that much of my time was like wrestling to tame a wild beast. It was almost never easy, often looked messy from the outside and I was often so very weary and drained.

Yet, the more I understood that I was fashioned by God to bring life, to be a representation of His presence in the world, to see my domain as a place of influence and a place where human beings would be shaped in order to thrive, I could keep going. As long as my vision was clear and growing, my energy to pursue that vision kept coming one day at a time. Now, I see how very much it mattered.

We All Long for Gentleness and Grace

“Always to be gentle toward everyone.” Titus 3:2

We all long for gentleness and grace.

Perhaps before I became a wife, or parent, I assumed, I would be able to be mature, healthy, loving, successful at these relationships. Conflict in my own heart and life, the stress of living with so many needs, so many constant demands, showed me my selfishness.

I longed for mercy, but especially for gentleness. I wanted to be understood--that I had a heart to be good at these relationships but sometimes I just couldn't—my own selfishness got in the way. I meant to be patient, giving, loving, but I had my limits. As an idealist and “feeler” heart, I wanted compassion and sympathy, but especially a gentle response—not anger and condemnation.

And so did my children and husband—and all were different, all pushed my buttons in different ways. It was through my different children, the demands of everyday life, that I learned the need for gentleness, that I craved another chance—again.

Where does a woman find the ability to be gentle, to show mercy, understanding, compassion?

When she understands that her heart is selfish, prone to making bad choices, limited in patience, and just beginning to understand what love requires. She understands that she herself is fragile; she will extend the grace she wishes to receive to others she loves, because they, too, are fragile and want gentleness and mercy.

If a woman understands that others, like her, are going to make mistakes, have accidents, show the dark heart of sin, she will not condemn them harshly for being so.

Instead, from a heart that knows she does not deserve the grace and love of Jesus, but receives it nonetheless, she will extend her patience, mercy and gentleness to others to show them the real heart of Jesus.

She will still teach, train, correct as Jesus did, knowing that gentleness and compassion come from a humbled heart.

Showing gentleness and mercy comes from a heart that recognizes the need for gentleness and mercy for herself.

In a study about gentleness recently, I found no less than 8 Biblical writers that place gentleness at the core of their call to righteousness.

Believing in God's Presence — Every Moment, Every Day

We believe in the dark times of life. We worship and sing to Him when we want to hide under our covers. We wait as long as it takes to see His answer to our prayers — and we're so often surprised by the answer. We wait on God, and God alone.

We want to be faithful until we see Him face to face. All of life, it seems, works against our faithfulness. Both spiritually and physically, we are weak and vulnerable. We are surrounded by the voices of this world and tempted regularly.

But in all of it, God is cheering us on, hoping we will stand fast, desiring our hearts to remain holy and faithful to Him.

Read more about this in Teatime Discipleship.

Tea Time Tuesday: The Vast Generosity of God

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Tea Time Tuesday

Some years back, I was up against a wall and couldn’t seem to get over it. Trouble or stress with my teens, a little one with nocturnal asthma leaving me with sleepless nights. Braces needed at $5000 and a car for our teens. Stresses financially, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.

One of my friends asked me to come to her house. When I arrived, a coffee table was set, a beautiful card hand printed with one of my favorite verses. Candles flickered. A cake had been made, steaming cups of tea and flowered napkins, My friend had spent time to lavish me with generous love and abundant words of encouragement.

“You are making a difference.”

“God sees your faithfulness.”

“Your love abounds to all who know you.”

And she invested so lovingly and generously that afternoon that I left her home with hope that I could keep going and that somehow my labor was not in vain.

Today’s word is generosity: Kindness and giving in abundance, lavish, plentiful.

But the model of abundance was Jesus—giving Himself lavishly, serving humbly, sacrificing for us endlessly, infinitely. And so when we pour out our lives in abundance to love sacrificially, serving with a plentifully joyful heart, casting grace and light over all we do, then we are a picture of Christ Himself. Generosity of life heals, comforts, inspires. Today’s Tea Time Tuesday podcast has so much more,

And a special section with my very dear friend, Sarah Mackenzie. You will love today’s podcast—I know because we had so much fun.

Her new book, Because Barbara, is beautiful. Enjoy. Find Sarah Mackenzie on Instagram at @readaloudrevival or her website, Read Aloud Revival.

Excellence: An Art Won by Habituation

“Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” -Aristotle

Training, instructing, modeling and requiring our children to learn and show respect was an every day standard in our lives. We believed in high love, demonstrated by words, actions, instruction. We also believed in high training because we knew that deep in our children’s hearts was a desire to access their potential, to become excellent, strong.

Our goal wasn’t to manipulate them into “being good” by control, but to reach their hearts to envision, imagine, to love goodness. We wanted them to picture themselves as being those who lived to bring light, love, goodness, wisdom to their worlds. We gave them a vision that it was the potential that God designed them with from the beginning. Jesus was our model, our gracious teacher of godliness.

Rembrandt became an excellent painter of light, beauty by practicing his skill over years. A master pianist we know became an accomplished concert performer by practice and growing strong in their skills. So it is with godly character—instruction, training, practice.

The character that is habituated to improving, developing integrity by practice, stretching to work hard, to do the best, to exceed expectations comes from daily practice and personal choices.

Those whose ideals are set high to aim each day to pursue those ideals will have the opportunity to become excellent in any field. Their virtuous muscle grows strong from use.

This comes from an inner grid, the way one learns to see life and expects himself to live. We called this "self-government." We taught our children that they had to access their own strength by making virtuous choices, by practicing being strong—and we believed forward in their potential and loved Jesus in front of them daily as their source of strength.

For more, read Heartfelt Discipline by Clay Clarkson, my husband.

Take Courage, Tired Mama

As I look around me I see so many other precious moms tempted to give up. I see moms who struggle, as I struggled, with a sense of inadequacy. Many are lonely, feeling unsupported as they work to give their children what they need. Many are confused, questioning the choices they have made and worrying about things they can't control. And many are simply tired, running low on the energy they need to be the mothers they truly want to be.

As I reflect on my days of younger motherhood, there were countless days of performing the endless mundane tasks — picking up mountains of socks, supervising numberless naps, and cooking thousands of meals of which only a portion were appreciated.

Hours of constantly settling fusses over petty issues, continually straightening our home, only to have it messy within a short time. There have been myriad books read, lessons supervised — and still feeling inadequate to do it all.

Inadequacy, in fact, had been my familiar and constant companion, overcome only by "His strength is perfected in my weakness" choices of faith. I had had so many moments when I doubted that anything was being built into the hearts of my children, when my belief that all of this mattered for eternity was all that kept me going, one step at a time.

Now I see that every ordinary act of faithfulness really mattered greatly and shaped our children into wholesome, interesting, thinking people. Now I can see clearly just how worthwhile the journey has been.

The reward of a shared sense of humor and the pure enjoyment and love of being together shows me how glad I am that I held tight to my vision. These children, now towering over me in their grown-up bodies, are just the kind of people I want for friends. Indeed, I consider my family to be my very best friends.

How thankful I am that God, his Word, and his Spirit kept me pressing faithfully onward. Take courage today, tired mama. Your labor is not in vain, but it is the very heart of your best work for all eternity.

Read more about this in The Mission of Motherhood.