As a woman who has enjoyed a career of teaching, speaking, counseling, and writing, I have had to make many difficult decisions to cut my career opportunities in order to focus on my family priorities.
However, I have come to realize that embracing God's call to the duties of motherhood doesn't diminish my abilities to use my gifts, strength, and training, but fulfills a part of God's design.
Read more about this in The Mission Of Motherhood.
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Tea Time Tuesday: Aren’t they the cutest?
These are my treasures, my deepest friends. If I have any extra time, I want to spend it with them (and Clay), talk to them, invest life with them, seek their advice. Though we live far apart, and sometimes I miss them so dearly, I take great pleasure watching them pursue their own stories, find godly destinies where they each give beauty and love back to the world within the context and parameters of their own personalities.
It all started when I held my tiny infant close, looking at those wide opened eyes staring up at me intensely. Then a smile came over her soft little face because my precious one recognized me — me! What a gift. An unexplainable joy filled my emotions. My heart was captured forever by this miraculous little human being.
Eventually, I would be blessed with 4 such treasures named Sarah, Joel, Nathan and Joy. Each one totally unique, individual sparkle, diverse personalities, but all a part of me, my inside self. We explored and ventured through life together. They caused me to grow less selfish, more understanding of life — its limits, its wonders. We experienced life as companions daily. I marveled more at God as I watched Him through their eyes. They made me giggle, amazed me, brought such deep and unexpected pleasure in love, belonging, and I had a “pack," my people, where I belonged.
Over years they grew, strained towards the dreams of life that they would each pursue individually, according to their “bent.” There were, of course, ups and downs, stretching toward wisdom and insight into the vast secrets and dilemmas of life. It called me to give all that I could with my whole heart. I did it imperfectly but with intentionality, all that I could muster. But they were loving, accepting, grace-filled little human beings who were ready to love in return and forgive. And I was ready to accept their frailty and strengths as well because that is how we rolled.
Join me today on my podcast to ponder the sweetness of cultivating deep friendship with your children, and learning how to put the duties of life into their proper place.
Don't ever believe your child isn't noticing how you live and how you interact with them as well as others. They see it all. They make note of our priorities and how we invest our time and resources.
And when they realize they are one of those top priorities and you are choosing to pour into them with time, prayer, teaching, and connection, they get a glimpse of God's love and care for them.
Parenting through the lens of mentoring and discipleship will inspire, train, and stretch us and our children to live into our God-given potential.
Read more about this in Teatime Discipleship.
This is a fallen world, and your children are guaranteed to meet pain, loneliness, and discouragement as they make their way within it, doubly so if they are pursuing holiness. Every great athlete endures hours of hard work and discipline of the spirit to win the prize, to receive the crown.
In the same way, you can train the hearts and spirits of your children to endure in the face of hardship so they can be like Paul, who “finished the course” to receive “the crown of righteousness” from “the Lord, the righteous Judge” (2 Timothy 4:7-8). You can teach them to run their race in faith, to fight their battles well, and to become heroes in the story of God.
Read more about this in 10 Gifts of Heart.
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Tea Time Tuesday
Accidentally, providentially, I have read 14 books in the last two years about World War II. Sprinkled among these were other historical novels, biographies, Bible stories of the same kinds of tales. It wasn’t intentional, but when a book kept being recommended to me, I would choose it to read. Many of them were oriented around wars. Most of the books were filled with tragic stories, suffering, evil leaders, sorrow, devastation.
Oddly, the overall effect on my heart was to deepen my understanding, acceptance in the deepest part of my heart, that there has been difficulty through all times. The devastation we see in many parts of the world, in fires, hurricanes, illnesses, faith issues, all point to emotional and spiritual devastation. And yet, Jesus forewarned of such a world, this is the time and place where we can show His strength, love, reality. We were born for such a time as this.
When we understand and accept that the world is indeed fallen and creates all sorts of chaos, we can better prepare ourselves to become warriors of light, goodness in difficult times. Jesus clearly prepared His disciples for this reality. He said, “In this world you have tribulation.” His next words told us what to do: “But take courage.” This is what our response to turmoil should be — to take courage. His last words, “I have overcome the world.” He is the reason we can take courage.
As I was sharing my ponderings with Clay, he said, “Have you studied the concept of ‘Stand Firm’ in scripture? It is throughout the Bible and informs us how to take courage, to live by faith, to bring light into the world at this moment. We can stand firm in our faith, in our convictions, in our relationships. I see now that my children, as adults, needed this lesson in childhood to keep them flourishing and strong during the challenges of their adult lives.
Join me today on my podcast to be inspired to stand strong in this time in history. Also hear about crab cakes, Tolkien, and more.
He gently broke my dependence on those things that could never satisfy. The choice to hold his hand through the dance of suffering resulted in greater emotional freedom. I learned to let go of temporal things more quickly, and the joy of just living and being with him through moments of my days became more real.
As I have made time to search after joy, I have been able to remember all of the joyful paths he has already led me down, and again I am learning to savor each moment as one in which I can learn, grow, and love him more.
God has stepped into this world, into our lives, to assure us that we really can follow Jesus in enduring suffering for "the joy set before us," being in heaven with our Creator, our Father.
Read more about this in Dancing With My Heavenly Father.
At this stage of my life, I look back and see the preciousness of the dance Clay and I have choreographed with our lives, choices, and commitments. It has given both of us great joy and deep satisfaction.
We have only felt this sweet reward because we determined we would endure together with a focus on growing in the direction of unity, humility, sacrifice, and unconditional love.
To grow strong in marriage takes a mutual commitment by both partners to keep going, to keep learning, to keep loving, to stay faithful through all the seasons. How wise God was to provide such a design of two persons working out their own story by faith and with love.
Read more about this in Well Lived.
So often we get caught up in the immediate things, the practical tasks — getting the housework done, doing our jobs, checking homework, paying bills, disciplining our children. Yet it is the emotional and spiritual atmosphere our children and friends breathe — the way we treat people, the foundations of grace we live by, that will attach their hearts to ours and ultimately to God.
As I reflect back on all of the years of our family’s life together, what I remember best is not the mountains of dirty dishes and pots and pans and socks left on the floor and piles of laundry. I reflect instead on precious times shared with Clay, the kids, and those we welcomed into our home — snuggling on the couch together, nursing babies and rocking them to sleep, sharing movies and huge bowls of popcorn, comforting children after a nightmare, and all those heartfelt kisses and cards that said “I love you!”
Read more about this in The Lifegiving Home.
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Walking, exploring pathways has been a love of my life. Daily I walked the pathways in Oxford. Quiet times of prayer, dreaming, pondering life on these pathways shaped my decisions and destiny. Scripture is filled with walking and pathways verses. It is a vibrant metaphor of our journey through life. God led me to walk a less traveled road, and my children followed my pattern.
When your children walk with you, are you leading to follow pathways of God’s desires?
Can they look at your seasoned responses, insightful understanding of people, steadfast fortitude in difficult times as they walk the moments of your daily life with you? Children watch us, listen when we talk to others, see us in public. Our lives are the walk that our children will imitate.
Pathways of children's lives today are a battlefield of conformity. With relative morality, temptation, confusing voices, compromise of ideals, secular media values, opposing opinions. Where will our children find clarity, strong, secure values to embrace?
We walk with integrity, giving confidence step by step, staying close to them, holding their hand, and gently showing them sure footsteps to follow.
No matter how old your children become, you are their example. They will always look at you to see faith lived out in the day to day, how to interact with God. The longer you provide wisdom based on truth, the more they consider your advice as they walk their own adult journey. They learned to trust their "path guide" on the trail of life we walked together, day by day. And now, as adults, they guide me on pathways of wisdom.
We lead the way, set righteous direction for the paths our children will follow. Teaching them to walk truly never ends.
Paul reminds us, "Do not be conformed to this world," Following ways of Jesus requires a road less traveled.
Verses to ponder: "He who walks with the wise will be wise, A companion of fools suffers harm." Proverbs 13:20
But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, That shines brighter and brighter until the full day” Proverbs 4: 18
Tea Time Tuesday filled with thoughts about walking in righteousness.
A mother's life is a whirlwind of seasons, changing from one to another without much warning, and then to another the next day. If your heart is prepared, you can adjust to whatever season comes upon you, weathering the changes with faith and grace; if your heart is not prepared, you will find yourself reeling and twisting in the winds of life, grasping for something or someone to hold onto.
This is what makes the changing seasons of your life meaningful and purposeful: God uses them to accomplish his purposes in your life and, through you, in the lives of your children. The seasons are not to be resisted but, rather, welcomed and embraced. It is through them, not in spite of them, that your faith will be strengthened and perfected, and that the faith of your children will be cultivated and grown. The seasons of your heart are the means by which God will prepare you and your children for his work, both now and for generations to come.
Read more about this in Seasons Of A Mother’s Heart.
