Home should be a beautiful place filled with God’s grace—where people are loved without expectation, the table is enjoyed with all its God-given delights, memories are made because people want to remember, and the sacred sense of welcome and belonging is offered to each person who enters.
Tea Time Tuesday: Don’t Remove Ancient Boundaries
Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.
Jeremiah 6:16: “Thus says the Lord, ‘Stand by the ways and see and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is, and walk in it; and you will find rest for your souls.’
Sipping tea in the candlelight of the twilight of evening found me cherishing time with a dear friend who has had a godly influence on my life for many years. We were reflecting on many ways we have grieved over observing more compromise in the lives of young Christians over the decades of our lives. A weakening of the faith and of the faithful; too many stories of leaders compromising and Christians being yawningly boring, ineffectual, and weak has become epic in our lives—and in the news.
“When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.” Genesis 3:6
Discernment is the ability to judge well between truth and vanity. Discernment between good and evil, willingness to obey whatever God requires is evidence of a person walking in the power of the Holy Spirit and following God's word. However, many do not know what the word of God says anymore, so they follow cultural wisdom.
I am concerned about the extremes I see on the internet and in situations around me. God's word provides wisdom, boundaries, insight for each day of our lives. Boundaries, fences and hedges are established for the protection of a land or home, serving as the definition of its realm. When you remove fences and borders, all sorts of havoc reigns. Boundaries provide definition and security. Daily, our culture cries out for the compromise and moving of boundaries in our lives. Without a depth of training in the Word, many are caught up in alluring messages of either legalism and judgment, or compromise and compliance with less-than-Biblical ideals.
As I have said many times, in the absence of Biblical conviction, people go the way of culture.
When you don’t know what to think, or how to think with righteousness and truth guiding, you follow whoever’s voice is loudest or most persuasive.
Much more on my podcast. I am planning a basic bible series for months ahead. Tell me what you think.
Make Your Domain One Of Light
It is my conviction that God designed a mother to be the essential life-giver in her home domain. We are the heart shapers, the formers of eternal souls and spirits. We are the hearts of our homes. Our love, our will to give life and celebration, to portray grace and goodness—these will be the factors that shape our children into adults who will love God and His kingdom, and who will change the world.
Read moor about this in The Lifegiving Home.
Pointing Your Children To A Perfect Savior
As I walk honestly before God, with my children watching, they will learn how to have a real relationship with him as well. As they see me apologize to them and pray in front of them to ask for God's forgiveness in my own life, my children will learn that God is a God of grace who forgives me and guides me. My worshiping him in gratitude for a beautiful sunset or a rainbow gives them a pattern for their own spontaneous worship.
As my children see me in the deep waters of life, being tested to my core and still holding on to my Lord and choosing to believe the best, this observation will prepare them for their own trials, which will surely come. They will know that he will guide and forgive them as they lead an imperfect but devoted life before a loving Father who has always met their mother's needs.
Tea Time Tuesday: Living Well Through Seasons Of Life
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“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” ― Albert Camus
What a special time to be in Oxford, my beloved city. I even just ran into friends as I was walking through the cobbled streets of town. I’ll add some personal things to the podcast so you can know a little about my time there.
Lately, in Oxford, I have been pondering the seasons of life.
I have been through almost all of them as a mom. It made me ponder what lessons I have learned. I am happy to answer specific questions you might have on the seasons with some special podcasts. Please let me know what subjects you would like covered.
There were many times in my life when I would feel, “I don’t think I will make it through this season. I am not strong enough. I don’t feel like I can make it.”
But then I would make it and come out of the season into another. But as I look back now, I realize that seasons—singleness, marriage, parenting, birthing, raising children, growing older, are all seasons of life that we pass through. God even built seasons into nature as a picture to us that mirrors our real lives.
Spring, a time of renewal and rebirth.
Summer, a time of planting and growing.
Fall, a time of closing and change.
Winter, a time of cold, barrens, roots going deep, appearance that all is gone when in actuality, deep growth is taking place.
Hope it encourages you today.
But remember, whatever season you find yourself in is eventually going to pass. But God is aware of your season and He will give you wisdom, strength, grace to walk through the seasons with Him by your side to provide you with insight and understanding into the ways he is working in the world.
What season are you in right now? I pray you will find hope wherever you find yourself. Praying for you all.
Directing Our Eyes To The Wonders Of God
God is more powerful, mysterious, and wonderful than we can ever imagine. He cannot be contained by our thoughts or definitions and is in a sense wild and untamable and bigger than we are in every way.
And yet he is also a God who goes to great lengths to reveal himself to us, to remind us that he is present in all the minutes of our lives. If we have eyes to see and ears to hear, the evidence of his power and presence is all around us.
And those moments when we see him revealed teaches us so much. Even in the darkest moments of our own small lives, he gives us reason to trust him, to anticipate the miraculous, to dream of resurrection life and the hope it brings.
Read more about this in The Ministry of Motherhood.
Hope Is Not Just Wishful Thinking
The God-given gift of hope is the best possible medicine for any hardship in life.
My hope says that I am willing to wait on God's timing, God's way and God's will with a belief that I will look back and be amazed at the ways He showed his faithfulness.
My hope is what carried me through health issues, struggles in my family, going five years without a salary, and so much more.
Hope is the physician of each misery, and God has given us this gift to heal us from our pasts so that we may have a future that is full of joy and light.
The Essence Of Home
Whether single or married, parent or childless, student, missionary, working away from home, traveling as a way of life, or in between places while being transferred—anyone can “make home” amidst the ever-changing circumstances of life. But it won’t just happen by accident.
The essence of home, you see, is not necessarily a structure. What makes a home is the life shared there, wherever that may be. And cultivating the life of home requires intentionality, planning, and design. There must be someone (or several someones) to craft the life, the beauty, the love, and the inspiration that overflows from that place.
Read more about this in The Lifegiving Home.
Our World Indeed Needs A Savior
Darkness has invaded all of our lives far more often than we would like or expect. When news of another tragedy explodes over social media or the news, we feel sorrowful and angry, and sometimes afraid and confused. Our children, of course, experience all of this too.
While we tend to our own spirits in such difficult times, we mamas must remember we are the ones who also tenderly hold the hearts of our own children.
Children are made to be innocent, to believe in mystery, to be good and pure of heart. The longer we can keep them in this place of storing up hope, believing in miracles and light and courage and redemption, the better. As parents, we are meant to be guardians, to protect our children as much as possible from all that is evil or wicked, so they have time to grow to be strong.
Read more about this in Mom Heart Moments.
Tea Time Tuesday: Practicing Living By Faith
Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.
Last week, I got my “travel” cut that takes me through stormy weather, rain, snow, wind as I board planes, trains, subways and work and play over seas. As I prepare for my next trip, I have been reviewing the journey of faith that opened doors to these opportunities through decades of my life. These are some of the messages I hope to record in messages I hope to record in the year ahead as a part of a leadership training course.
Here is part of my children’s back story.
Rounded eyes filling up with tears and a hoarse whisper made me pay attention.
"Mama, can I speak with you alone?"
Finally, I had a quiet moment to speak with my child much too late in the night.
"Mama, I don't know if I believe in God any more. I am trying believe because of everything you have taught me, but I have so many doubts, fears, questions and I wonder if God ever listens to my prayers.”
Almost 13, I knew that as a budding young adult, the darkness of the world and several very difficult personal issues had confronted my sweet, here-to-fore innocent child.
All four of our children voiced the doubts that haunted them in the midst of their foraying into contemporary culture. The doubts came individually to each of our children over time. There is a process of discipleship that had to take place in the midst to help them keep going. As I look back over the years, by standing with them through challenging times, telling them that God was big enough to handle their doubts, loving them when they were easy to love and when they were thorny, God graciously allowed us to help our children keep walking, keep choosing to believe, though all have walked through seasons of darkness. Believing forward in their lives, speaking into their great worth to God, giving them a sense that each choice of faith matters was the mantra of our voices in their lives.
At least for the moment we see them making choices to follow. And so Clay and I continue to pursue them as faithfully as we are able.
God had his prodigals and He was a perfect Father. Yet, a picture of God throughout all of scripture is a faithful, constant Father, lovingly pursuing His children, seeking them, dying for them, teaching them, calling out to them to follow Him, love Him and wait for His coming at the end of the age.
How important it is for us to remember and understand that Satan was casting shadow on God's character and casting doubts about God's trustworthiness from the beginning of the creation of man. It is not because you are a bad or inadequate parent that your children doubt God and Christianity, but instead it is a profound part of our battle.
"Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." I Pet. 5:8
With the world falling apart at the seams, we need to give our children (and ourselves), strong foundations of faith. Cultivating understanding, belief and trust in God are the most important priority of our lives to be faithful to build. All of the other accomplishments in life are second to passing on faith. The wonderful news is that we have an advocate, the Holy Spirit, God Himself, who cares even more that our children can grow and come to belief. You are not alone.
"So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ." Romans 10:17
All of our lives, if we are believers, our goal is to relate to God, His purposes, His plans, His personal love and involvement and love for us, and His faithfulness to us, no matter what assails us in our lives. It is our glory to walk with Him every day until we see Him face to face.
So often, I see younger women fretting about educational issues and worldly accomplishments in the lives of their children. Focusing on the temporal and being distracted by daily duties can take our eyes off the fact that the battleground for life is for hearts and souls coming to God and holding fast to him. It is the issues of faith that need our fervent attention. The world that my own adult children have entered is a world filled daily with temptations and discouragement and challenges. I see so much how tending to their hearts and souls while they were children in my home has given them strength and fortitude to face the obstacles in their lives that come every day.
When they are confronted by such serious issues, they need to have the voice of truth speaking to them from all that they have stored up in the recesses of their hearts and minds.
The most profound gift parents can give to their children is a true, heart-felt, foundational wisdom of faith that will carry them through all the seasons of their lives.
"And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." Hebrews 11:6
As I reflect on the ways we built such a faith into the lives of our children, so that, by God's grace, up to this point, they have held fast to their love and faith in God, was based on 3 aspects of faith.
All children and adults need to have a basic knowledge of the corpus of faith from Genesis to Revelation. I am basically talking about an overview of scripture: The overall story of God as found in His word as well as the stories of those who walked with God to give them a pattern of faith. Reading the Bible and teaching the stories is over a long period of time — at least 18 years — so do not feel you need to tackle the whole Bible in one year. Little by little building your own knowledge as you build your children's knowledge.
Modeling the action of faith and teaching the footsteps of faith at each juncture of life is essential for believers to learn what is looks like to live everyday through the pathways of life, trusting God. For instance, when a trial occurs (illness, financial issues, relational issues, etc) the way a parent responds to God in faith is how a child will learn to live by faith. If a parent says, "Our God has promised to meet our needs, so lets ask Him to give us wisdom in knowing how to approach this situation." And then if the parent moves forward by trusting God and not complaining or whining then the child learns that trusting God is real in personal moments from watching an older wiser person live in the reality of God's presence amidst life every day. (Part of you cultivating faith is finding people that give you a model of what faith in the midst of trials looks like — or gathering mentors through books as I did.)
Finally, there is one last aspect of faith that is necessary for our growth. All of us need to understand that faith is an action that moves us forward in taking risks to see God move supernaturally through our lives to bring His light and kingdom to bear. If a parent tells a child to live by faith by taking his light to the world, then the parent should be one who starts a Bible study by inviting people to their home, or serving at homeless/refugee shelters/teaching a children's class at church, etc. Faith moves a person to act for love of God. In order for us to have the reward of our faith, by seeing Him work, we must step out to trust God by reaching out to a lost world. It is in a ministry life that we sense the presence, wisdom and blessing of God upon our lives and better understand His sacrifice. In giving, we receive — but faith is the energy that takes us to this active, engaging life with God.
Precious ones who are reading this, I want you to know that I understand that your road with motherhood is so often exhausting and tiring. I am spending special time tomorrow praying for you to know the sweet love and peace of our God and to be encouraged in knowing that you are not alone and that what you are doing is of eternal importance.
May you be blessed and blessed with truth and grace today.