I did not get an award for washing one more dish, lifting up one more prayer for a child's decisions, or kissing one more forehead after a bad dream.
Yet I always had the desire to please God and be obedient to what He had for me to do, so that kept me going through the hidden years.
Read more about this in Teatime Discipleship For Mothers And Daughters.
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I became a mother over 40 years ago. I was quite inexperienced with children so as my children began to grow, I was looking for a magical formula to train and discipline my children. In my era, almost everyone I knew believed in a prescriptive philosophy. Physical discipline was most popular. It did not sit well with Clay and me. So many philosophies were prescriptive with formulas for every child, every situation, starting with babies.
My husband, Clay, an honors seminary graduate, began digging into scripture to get the heart of God as He entrusted children and their lifetime training and love into our hands. In April of 2003, he released his book, Heartfelt Discipline, with the most beautiful study of reaching the hearts of children, giving them a vision for the life of relationships, faith, character, values through personal relationship, love and biblical training. (Have I told you that I think Clay is one of the most gifted, insightful writers I know?!)
Studying the life of Christ, the ways He instructed and inspired his own disciples and His messages influenced us and gave us a vision about how to implement His values and messages into our own disciples, our children.
Over the years, we have received countless thousands of comments, letters, emails from people all over the world saying that this book was a life-changer for them, a light into shaping the hears, faith and behavior of their children.
Lately, after 23 years of being in the world we have begun to see a surge of interest in this book—many people asking us to podcast about it. So, here we are with a very short explanation of a big and broad philosophy. I hope it encourages you.
God bless you with grace and abundant love today for your own sweet ones. Be sure to listen to my podcast, Life with Sally, today.
We are all capable of creating a lasting legacy in the form of a home that gives life to others who come under its roof.
A home that serves all who enter.
A home that reflects our own tastes and the values we treasure.
A home that meets the needs of family and visitors alike, that fosters beauty and creativity.
A home where the atmosphere, traditions, and celebrations give life to the hearts, minds, and souls of those inside its walls.
A home that provides a lifegiving legacy that will last for generations to come.
I believe God has designed us to do just that.
Wherever you are, you can create a lifegiving home that will become a significant part of your family’s story.
Read more about this in The Lifegiving Home.
It starts with developing a lifegiving self-image, seeing ourselves as mentors and ministers. We are not just cooks and servers and fellow diners.
Instead, we are called and commissioned to be the hands of God’s love to those He brings our way, the voice of God’s words in our messages and conversations, the touch of God’s love in initiating friendship and seizing the moments given to us each day.
Every coffee shop, café, restaurant, dorm room bed, cup of tea, smoothie, or hot chocolate can become a place where hearts and minds meet when we see ourselves that way and train ourselves to look for opportunities to mentor and minister.
Read more about this in The Lifegiving Table.
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"Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character." Heraticlus of Ephesus
Table talk had become a long standing habit for meals.
As per Clarkson values, someone started a discussion. This night it was about cultivating personal character and morality. I plunged into the conversation, "What has kept each of you committed to moral purity, even in the midst of living in very post modern places?"
The conversation took twists, turns, loudness of voice as they told stories of friends, shared convictions, and pontificated a bit. (The culture of eating meals together regularly!)
"Why do many capitulate to the cultural standard even though raised in Christian homes?" became a focus of the topic.
SELF-GOVERNMENT--PRINCIPLES OF OWNING OUR OWN LIVES OF EXCELLENCE was the line repeated by all of the kids. And then they chimed in together,
"I CANNOT MAKE YOU HOLY. I CANNOT MAKE YOU CHOOSE TO BE EXCELLENT. YOU HAVE A WILL AND YOU HAVE TO DECIDE IN YOUR HEART WHAT KIND OF PERSON YOU WANT TO BE. WHEN YOU DECIDE TO OBEY AND CHOOSE TO BE HOLY, YOU WILL BE BUILDING A CHARACTER FOR YOURSELF THAT WILL SERVE YOU THE REST OF YOUR LIFE."
The idea of self-government, ruling over life, being a steward of what had been given and taught was the goal.
Often we try to moralize their children—rule based. Moral ideals, principles must be taught.
Yet, teaching must reach the heart to inspire a vision, self image. It creates the environment in hearts, minds and souls of children to wanting to be a hero, learning to live by truth, goodness, wisdom in daily moments of life.
Training our children to commit to godly character happened day in day out, correction, instruction, taking time, learning to be gracious in relationships, working hard to complete a task, years of training in the midst of normal life circumstances.
There is no guarantee our children will choose our ideals. Cultivating a virtuous character requires investment of time, patience. Our character determines our life choices. Join me on my podcast for more.
The magnificence of God’s imprint on women is that they are made to be civilizers in their worlds. Their capacity to educate, inspire, teach, and counsel is God ordained and directly tied to the pursuit of wisdom: “The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom; and with all your acquiring, get understanding” (Proverbs 4:7).
When a woman acquires stores of wisdom and understanding, she is a source of strength, security, and common sense to others who want to live shrewdly. It is a glory and a praise to women when they choose to exercise this capacity.
Read more about this in Own Your Life.
It takes engaging with Him in the privacy of your own room, all alone, believing He hears, and living through years of seeing His faithfulness.
It is a real live relationship— exciting, mysterious, an adventure. To be close to His heart will always bring confidence, peace, and security.
Have you spent enough time with God lately to feel you truly are growing to know Him more and more? Think about how you might build your relationship today.
Read more about this in Mom Heart Moments.
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I love historical biographies that inspire, give me a model of faith I can learn from, have full-bodied Christian women who call me to my best self and stay with me for decades. Lilias Trotter has been a favorite Victorian role model for me for quite a while.
It just happens, a very dear friend of mine just released an excellent, soul-filling book about her life. It is great to have a summer time read, just for fun and encouragement that I can savor. This is such a book.
Jennifer Trafton is the author and the book is called If Only We Could See: Reimagining Creativity, Compassion, and Calling Through the Extraordinary Life of Lilias Trotter.
I think you will greatly enjoy it. Hear our conversation about her life on my podcast.
"But there is also an eternal reward to parenting. Through your children, God has given you the privilege of passing on your faith and the truth of Scripture to future generations.
When you reach your heavenly home and stand before God, He will be waiting to show you the generations after you that will find His path to their eternal home with Him because of what you did for your children. God’s reward will be His, 'Well done!'"
(From Heartfelt Discipline by Clay Clarkson)
If you take the time to mentor your children, love them well, speak into their lives, give them a spiritually rich atmosphere, they will indeed surprise you. My children have all grown far beyond my expectations. That resulted out of their own personal direction and choice.
But I learned more clearly that children are the most valuable resource of any country in all of history, and their capacity to excel, to create, to accomplish is vast because they were endowed with amazing capacity in their hearts, souls, and minds.
From Awaking Wonder.
