God chose you to be the mother for your children. Trust that He will give you the wisdom and ability to shepherd them through their unique issues.
My own journey has involved radical acceptance of my children’s lives, and an awareness that every day might be filled with new surprises and interruptions.
That is where we encounter God’s grace at work in the most complicated moments of our lives, taking our complexities and weaving them into something beautiful.
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As long as I can remember, I have been out of the box, I was different. I had difficulty sitting still during church, I questioned so many things that everyone else accepted quietly. I got in trouble for talking too much in class. My mom would say, “Why do you have to be so different?” That puzzled me—I was just being authentic Sally as well as a little girl knew how.
I dreamed of doing something that mattered in the world. I often took risks. Then God gave me a kindred spirit child who sympathized with me.
Years ago, on a cold, snowy winter's day, Nathan, then 14, was a budding philosopher. He was drinking a cup of hot chocolate in our kitchen. He said, "I'm so glad our God is out of the box in our home!"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well, a lot of people we know act like God is mad, disappointed with all of us, when we are not perfect. I am so glad the God we believe in is the One who created chili peppers for fajitas, Celtic music to dance to, puppy dogs to be snuggled, jokes for giggling, and stars to enjoy when we sleep out on the deck. We enjoy Him and celebrate Him in our home and look for his fingerprints in the outdoors, in feasting, in being friends. We don't just work for him—that's what I mean. I can even be loud and funny and opinionated and I’m loved just for being Nathan."
I was so thankful that is what he perceived in our home, at least at this time, a personal creator-God, filled with infinite ideas of ways to fill our world with pleasures, His artistry in nature, the ability to swing and sway to music, never endings that could respond to a massage. And a place where he could feel he belonged with all of his bigger-than-life personality.
All of us have a need to be known and still liked and loved.
I am an avid student and teacher of scripture, love the foundational truths that fill my mind. Yet, many Christians tend to defend fervently their theological underpinnings and argue rigorously the tenets of doctrine within a cerebral world. Yet often I have observed that in choosing to live this way, caring mainly "what I know intellectually about God," they miss so much of his personality and nature, which can be observed through his role as the shepherd, Father. I love the foundational truths that fill my mind and soul that I also upheld through the years in our home.
Yet because we live in an isolated, somewhat cerebral time, we define our worth by what we know or what kind of a degree we have or by the work we accomplish. Our spirituality is often expressed by the theological philosophy we claim—charismatic or reformed or Baptist or Catholic. Data, facts, and knowledge as reflected by scores on academic tests are often the measure of a person's worth.
God condemned the pharisees for being men of law and no compassion for the downhearted or heart for the true God. They were more concerned about keeping law than loving God.
Why do I keep on writing articles about beauty, creation, the boundaries of God's life being bigger than we can imagine? Because I live in a world of young adults that are leaving the faith by the droves. Children who are raised on the dry bones of rules rather than on the vibrant love, beauty and goodness of a living God are not captivated in their hearts to follow God. Rules do not engage the heart or imagination of living a great story for God's glory.
God is interested in us engaging with Him through our days, in prayer of honest feelings poured out, struggles in our wrestle with this world, worship by serving Him and others in the many moments of our daily life. Our children will believe in God when they see that He influences, fills and inspires our behavior and attitudes through out all the seasons of our lives because He is real to us—both through His word and through His spirit living through our lives.
Life is fast-paced, efficient, impersonal.
We regularly shut God out of our lives to center our attention on worldly achievement or efficiency and then wonder where He has gone.
Such an overemphasis on the academic and technological determines that a relationship with God will be dryly intellectual or clever but obviously absent of feeling, awe inspiring reverence as at the beauty of a snowflake and delight in the colors and variety that also express his personality.
It would be like writing or defending a long treatise on the role of a father, his character, and the history of fatherhood—separate from relating personally and intimately with him. No "report on fatherhood" would ever satisfy our need to experience life with an actual father, the life that comes from engaging in the personality, friendship, and companionship of a real live person.
God intended that we become witnesses of his beauty, design, color, and pleasure so that we could gain a more intimate, real, and personal knowledge of him. God does not want to be just a thought to know, but a personally engaging friend and Father whose relationship with us is filled with memory, delight, and moments to be experienced and enjoyed.
Is your picture of God, his transcendence, HIs joy, His beauty, His love and affection a part of the design of your home? Your home is a workshop to reflect the many facets of the jewel of His reality. What 3 things might you underline, express, this week to intentionally display the multi-dimensional Jesus in your home and relationships?
I see family traditions picked up and carried forward, and new ones established.
I see a deep love of learning and culture and young adults who can talk with almost anyone about anything.
I see loving hearts, strong relationships, habits of honor and service and hospitality, and countercultural faith.
And I love what I see. For me, it’s the legacy of a lifetime.
As we light candles of faith in the darkness that surrounds us, as we reach out to hold hands through our days and extend love to hurting hearts, we can become the assurance that doubting hearts need to know they are not alone. Through us, God is redeeming life, creating beauty, loving the unlovely, and bringing hope to the lost souls.
We become His agents when we hold the hands of others and offer our help and affection, when we extend words of compassion and mercy, and when we offer to carry them in our hope when they can’t find any of their own.
Read more about this in Different.
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Jesus said, “You are the light of the world.”
Darkness seems to threaten so many sacred places in our times. Morality is compromised. Marriage is being attacked. Children are not valued. People feel isolated and alone. And so much more.
The battle rages. Yet, we have a conquerer, a warrior on our side, one who has already won victory. He is with us.
Sometimes it does not feel like He is winning the battle, darkness can occasionally overwhelm. We may champion alongside Him and sing His praises as we watch Him bring a rousing victory, in time. But we are warriors in the midst of evil, to bring His light and truth to bear on our world and to show our children that reality daily, moment by moment. We are agents of His grace and light and have the privilege one time on this earth to sing, teach and tell of His ways and light, until the victory dinner when we see Him face to face.
Living wistfully in dream-land as a child, I was quite sensitive to beauty, to the “thin places” where heaven and earth almost meet, and was given to imagining worlds beyond my own. A light seemed to burn inside that whispered of a glorious beyond. I see that it was the Holy Spirit drawing me. And so it is with many children today. They have a God-given desire to believe beyond what they see in this world. They live in imaginary stories as they dance in the wind, admire the stars, pick a beautiful flower.
Yet, it is ours, as the curator of beauty of God’s art in this life, to help open the eyes of their hearts to see and experience the infinite, living God.
Christmas Eve in New Mexico, where I lived, was spent opening stockings and one present that my brothers and I were given after dinner. The grand finale, the whip cream of the evening was an event that delighted my little girl heart each year. Our family of 5 would quietly patter into our Southwestern stucco church inside the grand sanctuary that was covered over with heavy wooden beams and paneling. The lights would be dim and the pews crowded as we pushed hard to make more room for all the families who had visiting relatives, come to celebrate the coming of Christ.
My pastor was from Australia and had an elegant accent. He would read the passages from Luke which underlined the angels saying “Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace amongst men in whom he is well pleased.” Angels singing in the night sky, a baby born and worshipped—it filled my little girl heart imagination. Even then I loved words and lived into the starry night and events that thrilled the shepherds and common folk who ran to see the newborn babe.
At that point, all lights (I mean all lights!) would be dimmed so that one couldn't even see a hand in front of one’s face. “This paints the picture of what life would be like without God, without His love, His life, HIs presence, His fatherhood in our lives. We are all dark and cannot even find the way to live life.”
Then my pastor would light one candle and say, “But Jesus did not want us to live in darkness, so He became the light in the world that brought us love, purpose, and forgiveness, and restored us to the love God wanted us to know from the beginning of time. When we share this light with others who were also born to know Him, we will bring back His light into our world.”
Then he would share his candle with the one next to him and everyone in the room would share with the people surrounding them and little by little the room would become bright, with the picture blazing in my mind and burning in my heart that I wanted to be a light bearer.(We must never forget the wonder that is growing deep inside each little one. )
“Come swiftly, O Lord, to the dark moments when we are lost. Make us aware of Thy presence. Strengthen us to resist the urges and pulls to deeper darkness.Stir us to move away from the dark moments of sinful selfishness toward the light of thy forgiveness. Come quickly, O Lord, as we call—or forget to call—and keep Thous close to us and keep us close to Thee this day and night and as far as the days and nights stretch before us, and we see you face to face, through Jesus Christ. Amen.” -James Kennedy, Holy Island
John 1:4-5 tells us, “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness,and the darkness has not overcome it.
"If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light will be night," Even the darkness is not dark to thee, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to thee." Psalm 139: 11-12
"I am the light of the world. In me is no darkness at all."
“And the people who were living in darkness have seen a great light.”
“Let your light so shine amongst men that they may see my glory …” -Jesus
May our lights show forth today and may we walk in the light of His counsel.
Peace and grace to you today.
Any mother who truly dedicates her life to the godly calling of motherhood knows, without having to be convinced, that her decision will require significant and possibly even life-changing sacrifices on her part.
I take some solace, though, in knowing that my sacrifice is like a seed that will produce fruit I cannot yet see. Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me." (John 12:24-26).
Fruitless? Only by the world's standards. By God's it is a worthy sacrifice that will yield a harvest of righteousness.
Home should be a beautiful place filled with God’s grace—where people are loved without expectation, the table is enjoyed with all its God-given delights, memories are made because people want to remember, and the sacred sense of welcome and belonging is offered to each person who enters.
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Jeremiah 6:16: “Thus says the Lord, ‘Stand by the ways and see and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is, and walk in it; and you will find rest for your souls.’
Sipping tea in the candlelight of the twilight of evening found me cherishing time with a dear friend who has had a godly influence on my life for many years. We were reflecting on many ways we have grieved over observing more compromise in the lives of young Christians over the decades of our lives. A weakening of the faith and of the faithful; too many stories of leaders compromising and Christians being yawningly boring, ineffectual, and weak has become epic in our lives—and in the news.
“When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.” Genesis 3:6
Discernment is the ability to judge well between truth and vanity. Discernment between good and evil, willingness to obey whatever God requires is evidence of a person walking in the power of the Holy Spirit and following God's word. However, many do not know what the word of God says anymore, so they follow cultural wisdom.
I am concerned about the extremes I see on the internet and in situations around me. God's word provides wisdom, boundaries, insight for each day of our lives. Boundaries, fences and hedges are established for the protection of a land or home, serving as the definition of its realm. When you remove fences and borders, all sorts of havoc reigns. Boundaries provide definition and security. Daily, our culture cries out for the compromise and moving of boundaries in our lives. Without a depth of training in the Word, many are caught up in alluring messages of either legalism and judgment, or compromise and compliance with less-than-Biblical ideals.
As I have said many times, in the absence of Biblical conviction, people go the way of culture.
When you don’t know what to think, or how to think with righteousness and truth guiding, you follow whoever’s voice is loudest or most persuasive.
Much more on my podcast. I am planning a basic bible series for months ahead. Tell me what you think.
It is my conviction that God designed a mother to be the essential life-giver in her home domain. We are the heart shapers, the formers of eternal souls and spirits. We are the hearts of our homes. Our love, our will to give life and celebration, to portray grace and goodness—these will be the factors that shape our children into adults who will love God and His kingdom, and who will change the world.
Read moor about this in The Lifegiving Home.
As I walk honestly before God, with my children watching, they will learn how to have a real relationship with him as well. As they see me apologize to them and pray in front of them to ask for God's forgiveness in my own life, my children will learn that God is a God of grace who forgives me and guides me. My worshiping him in gratitude for a beautiful sunset or a rainbow gives them a pattern for their own spontaneous worship.
As my children see me in the deep waters of life, being tested to my core and still holding on to my Lord and choosing to believe the best, this observation will prepare them for their own trials, which will surely come. They will know that he will guide and forgive them as they lead an imperfect but devoted life before a loving Father who has always met their mother's needs.
