Tea Time Tuesday: Gentleness Comes From the Heart of God

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“Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls.” -Matthew 11:29

I was awake last night from 3-4 a.m. This morning when I awakened, I cuddled and wiggled into my soft, warm, squishy duvet. I was mentally glancing at my heart-feelings. They were a little fretful. I lay there feeling I needed to make some big decisions that had come into my life. I pondered questions about the future, about my children’s health, lives, and future, and the state of our crazy world and country. All of a sudden, God seemed to whisper, “Be gentle with yourself today. Don’t make this day the one where you get everything done, figure life out, take care of everyone else in the world. Just be still, just rest, just breathe in my peace.” Truly, it was the message that came to my heart, even though it would be a busy, demanding one, I could choose to be mindful of gentleness.

I eased into my morning, gentle, soft music, my favorite china mug filled with hot, steaming tea, a candle flickering, a view to my gently shimmering aspen trees outside. Ahhh, peace.

Many years, I lived as Martha, rushing around, busying myself, planning more than I could accomplish, then getting grumpy with kids when life didn’t go as planned. I could see how fruitless and wasted this attitude was, but something pushed me, perhaps from guilt, to work harder, push more, get more done.

Little by little, I learned that I cannot control life, I am not in charge of the universe. Children, computers and people do not easily and naturally conform to “Sally’s” expectations and demands. I wasted energy and emotion being a bit anxious, demanding.

Today, I explore gentleness as fruit of the Spirit. Jesus said, "Learn from me and you will find rest." You will see in many verses I share today, gentleness comes from the heart of God, even amidst a busy life. The more we experience His gentleness in the depths of our hearts, where fears, selfishness and anxiety live, the more we will be able to exhibit the gentleness of Christ to those surrounding us. Our children, husband, friends, long for gentleness as our response.

Keeping Calm and Carrying On

Vow: A solemn promise that gives accountability to the choices made in light of that vow.

44 years ago on August 30, Clay and I got married in Texas with about 150 friends. and family. We made vows to God, “To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live.”

I understood that this vow, sacred promise, was given to God as a trust of how I would seek to please Him in this sacred relationship. Thankful we are still here after 44 years with great expectation for what is ahead, whatever it may hold.

I had no idea what we were in for and I didn’t know how young and unseasoned I was, how much I needed to learn, or how I would deeply learn the meaning of perseverance as well as unconditional love.

In His loving patience, God has graciously companioned us through every kind of season, stretched us, blessed us, and given us a legacy of His love and grace. I am deeply grateful.

Love you, Clay.

Let us keep calm and carry on.

We Must Learn To Rejoice And Be Glad

I have always told my children that they might as well decide to embrace God’s will for their lives right where they are and engage in the present moment with as much faith and wisdom and skill as they can, because their circumstances are not going to miraculously change.

If we accept the puzzle we have been given and ask, “What can I learn at this juncture, God? How should I be humble and glorify You in this place?” then we will become stronger, developing muscles of faith, wisdom, humility, and understanding.

Contentment and peace come by releasing our expectations and accepting our specific, “right now” circumstances as a place where we can learn to grow and flourish.

Read more about this in Different.

Tea Time Tuesday: Dancing Through My Life

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“Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”

—Friedrich Nietzsche

When I saw this photo my friend had taken, to me it looked like I was about to start dancing to “Singing in the Rain.” I have always loved swaying to music, dancing—and listening to the music that is all around us that often others do not hear.

The above quote is one of my favorite quotes. I want to be the one who joyfully heard the hidden music in beauty of life. I think aspen leaves dance in the wind, poppies dance to a hidden waltz, and of course I love to see sweet babies naturally have dancing bubbling up from within—as they keep dancing and twirling rhythmically to snappy melodic tunes. Dancing in life is a way to defy the darkness.

This whole week, I am sequestered away with Clay on the first sort of holiday we have had alone together in over ten years. Life, children, grandchildren, moving back and forth overseas has kept us from doing this. But this week, I am breathing in mountain air, swaying mountain wild flowers, writing in my journal, listening to music, lighting my candles, eating great food, watching intriguing and beautiful shows from time to time and restoring my soul. And in the midst of really vacating, I forgot that I had a podcast to record.

So, I have recorded a short one anyway and have a little story to tell you about a bear and a dog. My friends, this week, be still and listen to the music of life that is pulsating from the heart of God, create a few moments of peace and I pray you are blessed with joy unexpected even if for a few moments.

Sending you love and blessings from deep in the Colorado mountains.

The Essence of Discipleship

I have been reflecting on the days when my children were younger, at home with me. When I could regularly carve out time to spend with my dear ones, leaving dishes on the counter, chores undone, emails unanswered, texts unread, just for extra time with them.

Real moments of life have been shared deeply and will live on in my heart: one child in jammies next to me on the porch, with tea in hand. Another, leaning against me on my small love seat, with a hand to hold and stroke, sharing dreams, wishes, secrets, and prayers.

Another coming to lie next to me one night just after I had climbed into bed, to talk deeply about life. A long discussion, filled with antics, robust laughter, fears, stresses, and requests for affirmation.

Your children are a blessing to the world, and to you, too. Breathe deep today and enjoy them.

Read more about this in Mom Heart Moments.

Conducting The Music Of Your Family's Life

​There are so many laws, rules, and formulas out there that can​ pile up burdens of guilt on any mom.​ There were always rules to make me​ question myself:

“The best time to meet with God is in the early hours of​ the morning—if you don’t study the Bible then, you will miss out​ on His voice of greeting.”

“A real mom keeps all of the insides of her drawers organized.”

“A real mom sews; after all, the Proverbs 31 woman did.”

“A real mom corrects every single disobedient action of her​ children.”

“A real mom doesn’t work or spend time away from her​ children.”

God wants you to be alive and share in that life with​ your children. He wants to help you develop a foundation of joy,​ imagination, and beauty in the lives you share together.

What kind of home​ do you want to live in? How can you craft a home and a schedule​ that is interesting for you and your children? 

In taking responsibility​ for being a conductor of the music of your and your family’s life,​ you will find joy and fulfillment, and, as I did with my sweet kids,​ eventually find that you have developed your own best friends out​ of your own children, who have learned to love what you love.

Tea Time Tuesday: Faithfulness: The Hard Work of the Soul

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Join me today with a cup of tea and be inspired. Today my podcast is about:

Faithfulness: Fruit of the Spirit; Full of faith, and loyal, constant, steadfast

“Trust in the Lord and do good, Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.” -Psalm 37: 3

Sitting in the shade of our front porch, gently rocking as we shared a sweet moment, out of the blue, one of my adult children commented, “Thanks for being faithful through all these years. It has been a gift to us in more ways than you will ever know. Not only your example, but you spared us from scars that so many of our peers have born in their lives. I know it took many choices to keep going, to be faithful to your ideals. Just wanted you to know it mattered.”

I was surprised but deeply grateful. Faithfulness matters. It is the hard work of the soul. It is rare in our time. As I look back over my life, I realize that much of my blessing right now was due to the fact that somewhere along the way, I learned the value of keeping going, putting one foot in front of the other, remaining faithful through all of the dark passages.

Faithful in marriage, even when it was hard.

Faithful to my ideals as a mama, even when I didn’t feel like I was making progress.

Faithful to my God even when it felt like He was hiding.

Faithful to my children when they failed or showed their frailty and humanity.

Faithful to keep going forward, one step at a time, even when I felt I was failing.

The world gives us permission to quit, to give up, to drop our ideals. God encourages us to be faithful, to commit to being steadfast, to stay loyal.

Many eras I didn't think I would live through — crying babies with colic; ear infections, nocturnal asthma; fits, fusses, tantrums, a mysterious child with ADHD, OCD and ODD; marriage struggles between me, a totally romantic, relational woman married to a totally rational, organized man who had to work way too many hours to keep this family afloat; messes, rejections from family for our ideals; 24 moves; loneliness, little help or support systems; financial crisis; illnesses, hospitalizations, testings never ending; church splits; irrational people.

More on my podcast.

Receive His Love By Faith

To find the strength to do such a supernatural thing, however, requires some very​ practical soul care. A soul that is empty from the constant draining of life will not find​ resources to stand against the darkness that tries to overwhelm​.

One thing that helps​ me greatly is reading. My favorite authors become my friends. Just reading their stories​ has fed my soul and shown me how to live my life.

Of course, I also keep chocolate hidden​ as a treat for a difficult day, and I always have tea in a real china cup every afternoon​ with candles lit and just a bit of​ civility​ — even if only for fifteen minutes.

Most of all, I remind myself over and over again that God, my precious Father,​ loves me and wants me to experience His joy. I have resolved to look for His love and​ receive it by faith, even when I don’t feel it.

​Read more about this in Mom Heart Moments.

Love Is Most Important

The connection of a mother and child is deeply physical, emotional, and even spiritual. By God's design, children will always sense at some level a special connection to their mother that gives her a unique voice and influence in their lives and hearts. If properly cultivated, developed, and understood within the context of God-given personality drives, it is a powerful source of influence.

When children feel loved and cherished by the parents who brought them into the world, they have enduring stability and security that provides them with groundwork for understanding the God of the universe who so loves us. Love is the most important foundation for learning to believe in God.

Read more about this in Your Mom Walk with God.

Tea Time Tuesday: Goodness: Holy Spirit

Once in a while, I spontaneously take a photo of myself, whatever I am doing, to send to my grandchildren who live over 4600 miles away from me. You see, they are always on my mind, in my thoughts.

I want them to know that I love them, every day, all the time. I send little notes of encouragement, affirm their preciousness to me, tell them stories and I pray for them. I plan for times of fun when we can be together. I pray that their hearts would so personally know and understand the goodness and love of God because they have seen it in me and in their parents and in those around them. They don’t just need to be told to be good, but they have to see goodness, holiness, trustworthy character acted out in their real worlds, every day, all the time so that they understand the actions and works of goodness in a fallen world. .

They are storing up a clear picture of God through those of us who are acting out His tangible love and grace in day to day realities in their lives. And hopefully when they are teens and young adults and more aware of a fallen, chaotic world, they will remember, “But I have seen, learned, and felt the goodness and love of God throughout my life through Queenie and mama and daddy. I believe in the goodness of God because I have seen it in reality. I believe there is light, hope, beauty to be found in this troublesome world.”

Join me today as I explore what’s the biblical attribute of goodness. It should be a fruit of the Holy Spirit living through us so that in a fallen world, we may live out God’s excellent goodness so that others may have a picture of what God’s excellent character is like.