The Gifts We Give Our Children

During this season it seems all the world is focused on gifts.

We are making lists of them, choosing them, wrapping them, displaying them, mailing them, hiding them, and finally actually *giving* them, anticipating the look of delight on a child or friend's face. While there's a lot of lamenting out there over the commercialization of Christmas, it does sometimes strike me as ironic when we get all bent out of shape over the to-gift-or-not-to-gift question, since Christmas, at its heart, is all about The Greatest Gift ever given--Christ, Himself!

And so I too will hunt and gather, wrap and mail joyfully, whether homemade goodies, special things gathered from a thrift store, or something lovely from the mall. I am sure of the center of my Christmas, because it's the center of my life.

Ministry of Motherhood was written after I discovered something very exciting to me. While we are not exactly flooded with detailed examples of wonderful mothers on the pages of Scripture, there is in the life of Christ Himself a true wealth of lessons to be learned, if we only search for them! His interactions with His disciples are packed with so many truths, so much light for our own paths as moms.

As my children were growing up, Clay and I together worked out a framework for what we wanted our home life to look like. We knew we wanted to give our children eternal gifts; the gifts the Lord had given to us. We eventually came up with an outline to carry us through the training of our children as we walked daily with them--gifts we hoped they would in turn pass on to a broken and needy world. Using the word GIFTS as an acronym helped us to remember what our spiritual priorities were. Here they are, as shared in The Ministry of Motherhood:

G represents the gift of grace--the kind of undeserved but freely given love and favor that comes from God. We model grace by extending it to our children, but also by insisting that they learn to extend it to others. Practically speaking, the gift of grace is all about relationships. It's the desire and ability to relate personally and lovingly to God and people.

I represents the gift of inspiration--which is all about motivation and purpose. This gift is essentially the desire and ability to view all of life in the light of God's sovereignty and purpose. Inspiring my children to understand God's purpose for their lives and say yes to His call provides them with a sense of meaning. It helps give them the energy they need to do what God wants in their lives.

F represents the gift of faith--both content and attitude. We give this gift both by teaching "the faith" (sound doctrine, biblical literacy, practical application) and by modeling what it means to live in faith, trusting God for our needs. Biblical faith gives my children the strength they need to proceed in thier walk with the Lord. The gift of faith is the desire and ability to know God through His Word and Spirit and to trust Him for every area of life.

T represents the gift of training--the desire and ability to grow in Christian maturity and godly character in the power of the Holy Spirit. It's not just telling children how to live, not just modeling right behavior, but repeating these lessons with patience and perseverance until they become part of their lives. Training is a process of gradually moving a child's character and habits in a godly direction.

S represents the gift of service--the desire and ability to minister God's grace and truth to others. Giving my children a heart for ministry teaches them how to serve God tangibly and practically by using their hearts and their hands for ministry.

 

This book, which I'm featuring here this month, lets me share some of the lessons I learned about being a mom from studying Jesus--plus stories from our house showing just a bit of the many things my children have taught me! I hope you'll be inspired and encouraged to follow Jesus' example with your own children, and consider making your own list--or fleshing out this one--with the things you want to pass on as you walk with your family. You can buy a copy of The Ministry of Motherhood by clicking here!

Have you come up with any great ways to remember your main priorities with your children?

Mentoring Monday Honor: The foundation of manners and reverence

Mentoring Monday: Honor, the Foundation of Manners and Reverence {Sally Clarkson vlog}

Mentoring Monday: Honor, the Foundation of Manners and Reverence {Sally Clarkson vlog}

Pieter Pietersz

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.

Fred Astaire

If a child is to learn to worship God, to give Him the worth, the honor and glory he deserves, he learns the value of honor by seeing it in his family and by practicing it as a way of life.

God tells children to "Honor their mother and father" and in this command is a practice of showing respect, giving worth, humbling one's self--in short practicing seeing the value in another person. When people are valued, valuing God and worshipping Him is already a pattern in the heart.

Manners must be modelled, trained, valued, so that that which is sacred may be learned through the life of a home. It is one of the best skills and heart attitudes a parent may give to a child.

If there is no place in our lives where we must be hushed, out of reverence, when we enter a place; if vulgarity and crudity of language offers no pang of shame; if there is no sense of reverence in the grid of our lives that requires us to bow our own self in the presence of someone greater, then passing on a sense of awe and humility when we are in God's presence will be impossible. We practice humility and honor with our peers that we may worthily understand God's rightful place in our lives as the sovereign over all.

Living Beyond What Seems Possible

 Living through many seasons of challenges and difficulties, has taught me that I am capable of more than I sometimes feel I can handle. When a mom learns, by faith, to reach beyond what she thinks is possible, when circumstances "feel" too difficult, to search for and look for joy and beauty in life, she glories God with a beautiful service of worship. When things go wrong as they so often do (why is it so often, anyway?) I might feel like having a spiritual tantrum, and  sometimes, I do! But I have learned that complaining and pulling into the darkness doesn't really change things.  Slowly, I have learned to choose to take the higher road of looking for Him and for His wisdom at every turn in the road.

It has been all of the twists and curves that have made me humble to understand others, stretched my capacity to serve and believe, and caused me to see that God is much bigger than my problems and has greater purposes than I could see at the time.

As Christians, we are supposed to reflect God's character, because we were made in His image and His Spirit lives within us. It's natural to be selfish; it's supernatural to be loving. It's natural to be arrogant and prideful or complaining; it's supernatural to be humble and ask for forgiveness and give gracious love. We are the reflection of God, everywhere we go! How do you become more like God? By worshiping Him and pondering Him in all of the places He takes us in life!

In the same way that a child develops maturity and strength over days, months and years, so as God's child, we develop slowly over time. Each new challenge builds our spiritual and character muscles--but it is a process over time.

I think sometimes we feel that if we just did the right things, our lives would be easier. We spend a lot of time trying to figure out the abc's that will lead to a happy, simple, fuss-free life. And it's very aggravating when we find that doesn't work! For some people, it's more than aggravating; it can lead to a loss of faith. Yet that's not what God has invited us to do. He desires us not to perform works or to follow formulas. Instead, we are invited to a loving, deep relationship with Him that will grow with time. As we want our children to trust us and obey us, so God desires our trust in His ability to Father well.

And so we must live that way with our children too. Having a great home life is not about a formula; not a matter of getting the right quiet time book to read or a formula for keeping the house orderly all the time. It's really all about the rhythms and culture of our homes. It's about the way life flows within our four walls. Even now as our own children have grown and moved into their adult lives, I can see it's still our love, the traditions, the rhythms that they miss.  When they were little, we danced while doing dishes. We put on loud, fun music when the kitchen got too messy. We celebrated life together through the good times and the bad. You can do that, too! The grace you give, the way you work when no one is looking is being seen by your sweet ones who are taking it all in. Your life is the story being watched carefully by your children--they are taking mental notes!

Laziness and resistance to the work load was common for me as a young mom. I was inexperienced (as a mom) and I didn't even know it! Now I see work is a glory to God. I learned to serve my kids, to get up in the mornings and practice working, and now I can see the results. My children say they can't wait to get home because they miss our dinner table times, the home that became a haven, and the predictable life that took so long for me to develop. God is winsome; you have to celebrate God and love Him in front of Him for your children to be able to see Him. It's the reality of God's life that your children will fall in love with.

God is truly the easiest person to please when you just have a heart of faith and understand His mercy, patience and grace. To Him we are  mere toddlers and He gives us time to grow.  Your home is the practice field for maturity and character.You will never be perfect--don't waste time feeling guilty or inadequate! It just leads to a road of discouragement. But accept your limitations as God does, as a good parent doesn't expect adult behavior from His toddler.

In the same way, don't give up on your children. Lean into the process of life. Live beyond what you think is presently possible. Keep praying and believing and loving and disciplining. Children give you a reason to civilize culture. There is no silver bullet and if you're trying to find it-- thinking, "If I could only find the right book or formula, life would be perfect,' you're not living in this fallen world with the reality of trusting God.

The sooner you give up your perfectionist determination and plans, the quicker you're going to be subject to the grace of God to work in a real way in your life.

It's not about how you feel, it's what you do with how you feel.

Hangeth thou in there. And trust that He can help you live beyond what seems possible!

 *********************************************

There's much more of this message, and it's this month's featured audio! You can grab it as an instant download here: MomHeart Audio: Restoring God's Mom Heart.

If the risk that faith requires had not been taken, ....

Marie Ellenrieder

"Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!"

Luke 1:45

If the risk that faith requires had not been taken, there would be no Jewish Nation, the same way we know of it.

Abraham had to go out, not knowing where he was going and then

he had to be willing to sacrifice his son on the altar.

Mankind could have been decimated if Noah hadn't listened and obeyed.

Noah had to build an ark, against much ridicule, and collect animals, against ridicule.

The Jews might still be slaves.

  By faith, Moses chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin.

He was willing to take millions of men, women and children, into the Red Sea with an Egyptian Army racing at his back.

Jericho may have won the battle.

Without David's slingshot, the Philistines would have won the battle.

Without Mary's heart saying, Be it done to me according to your will, we would have no heroine of motherhood to follow.

She had to move to a foreign country for two years, the most hated country of her nation,

Move to a whole new town, live with a perfect son,

Watch him die on the cross and live by faith through it all.

Battles would not have been won, heroes would not have been made,

Mother Theresa would not have ventured to India to show compassion to thousands. 

Amy Carmichael would not have retrieved girls from prostitution.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer would not have written The Cost of Discipleship in prison.

Children would not be trained and educated at their mother's knee.

Marriages would have ended.

Ministries would not have been established.

When God's spirit is alive within us, HE compels us to take ground back for the Kingdom of God.

God's spirit drives us to redeem.

He motivates us to give generous love and to work unto sacrifice that others might be reach with the kingdom messages.

In short, when the people of God are moved by faith, to do His works on earth during their short lives,

The whole world is turned upside down, by normal people who serve a transcendent, omnipotent  God.

Without faith, it is impossible to please God.

When people become passive and fearful, there is no power or mystery of the Kingdom of God sweeping over the world with life and healing.

What is God whispering in your heart today, to accomplish by faith in Him?

Faith requires a listening heart. God is so willing to use normal people--who are listening and willing to obey.

How are you being responsive to Him today to live a life of faith?

It cost Jesus His life to redeem the world, but because of His sacrifice, the battle has been won.

What risk are you willing to take, by faith, to venture to live a story that others will tell for generations to come?

MomHeart Conference 2013: I Take Hope: Desperate no more! and a Giveaway!

 ENTER BELOW FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO WIN A TICKET TO A MOM HEART CONFERENCE NEAR YOU!
I have received so many letters and emails and comments about how the Mentoring Mondays have been an encouragement to many of you. Our momheart conferences provide a very big dose of encouragement and inspiration for moms who long for a real life mentoring weekend! Let me tell you a little of the story of how this happend.
About 20 years ago, the Lord put on my heart, (and Clay's) to see if we could train, instruct, inspire a whole generation of parents and particularly moms, to capture a vision for raising this generation of children to become strong, vibrant disciples of Christ.
We are amazed at how the Lord has blessed our writing, our books, and carried the message which we thought was on his heart to the whole world--with our books now in 6 languages and our messages going all over the world.
Our heart has always been to be a part of what the Holy Spirit was doing in families. The Mom Heart conferences have always been an integral part of reaching thousands of moms with these messages. God has used these conferences to help inspire women all over the world to understand and embrace their divine role as a mom who shapes the destiny of future generations.
And so, in the midst of all the holiday excitement, we wanted to be sure to reach as many moms with the opportunity to plan to attend one of these conferences.
But we need your help to get the message of these conferences to as many women as possible!
    
Motherhood is daunting, we hope you will find that this conference with hundreds of other like-minded moms, will give you just the shot in the arm that you need to overcome those inevitable days when you wonder just what you are doing!
At this conference,  you will have the opportunity to laugh, cry and just breathe in peace as you hear from our many speakers and be involved in the music, food and celebration of friendship.  Sarah Mae and I wrote Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, which inspired this year’s Mom Heart Conference theme, “I Take Hope ~ Moving through Desperate to Destiny.” It is our hope that you will take hope in the promises and truths of God to make it through those inevitable dark days. . It will be a weekend of refreshment, inspiration, encouragement, and fellowship you will not want to miss. We hope many of you will be able to join us!
You may choose from the four locations this year!
COLORADO: January 18-19, Denver/Littleton, CO (Denver Marriott at Park Meadows, $79.00/night room rate) Register Here Hotel and Conference Information
CALIFORNIA: February 1-2, Irvine/OC, CA (Irvine Marriott, $104.00/night room rate, includes up to two full buffet breakfasts) Register Here  Hotel and Conference Information
TEXAS: February 15-16, Irving/DFW, TX (Dallas Marriott Las Colinas, $84.00/night room rate) Register Here
NORTH CAROLINA: February 22-23, Raleigh/Durham, NC (Sheraton Imperial Hotel, $89.00/night room rate) Register Here Hotel and Conference Information

Conference Schedule: Check-in for each of the events begins at 1:00PM on Friday. Afternoon workshops begin at 3:00PM and 4:00PM that afternoon. Guests are on their own for dinner. The first main conference session is 7:00-10:00PM that night. The second session is 8:45-11:45AM Saturday morning, followed by a lovely banquet luncheon. The final conference session is 2:00-4:30PM that afternoon. I will be the main speaker for all main sessions, along with a special keynote speaker for sessions 1 and 2, and noted workshop leaders.
PossibiliTea (Separate Event): There is also a Friday morning pre-conference PossibiliTea at each of the conferences from 9:30-11:30 AM. This special time with me will focus on personal insights about motherhood, Mom Heart Ministry, and how to be develop your own small group, as well as hearing stories from those already in groups, and how they are being encouraged and growing. Space will be very limited and attendance will require a separate $25.00 registration fee. To register, go to the Conference information page for the state where you are registered, or go to the Store and click on the “Mom Heart Conference 2013” icon.
 THE GIVEAWAY
Our dream is to reach as many moms as possible with this message of hope.
And I'm giving away one conference ticket!
You may enter from now until Friday at 12pm EST by commenting below, tweeting, or connecting or advertising the conference on your facebook page. Just click in the Rafflecopter box below to complete each method of entry! If you are able to advertise this conference to your support group or blog, please let us know through your comments and we will give you an extra entry for each way that you advertised it.
 
We could never reach as many women without your help! Thanks so much for all of you who have supported us for all of these years and helped us reach out to moms all over the world.
I am so very excited about this year's conferences--where we hope to expand mentoring and inspiration for all the moms who attend. 
I so hope to see you at one of our conferences this year! Please come and gather with like-minded moms for refreshing and encouragement--and watch as we see a movement of God reach the whole world of mothers with His messages.
For the Early Bird Special register now at www.WholeHeart.org or by phone 888-488-4466 | 719-488-4466
THE PRICE WILL GO UP IN DECEMBER!
For more information about the conferences and to find pdf's you may use with your own group, go to: http://www.wholeheart.org/our-events/

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Mentoring Monday It all begins with Love

"Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

John 15:13

Recently I received a comment on one of my blogs that has really come to my mind several times during the past days.

"I read Sarah’s blog. As I was reading about the Clarkson family ways, it was like a light went off in my mind. Listening to Sarah describe how you all share your thoughts, musings, convictions, and interests made me realize a part of your discipling that I had yet to grasp. You shared yourself with your children in the deepest way. You must have shared your secret thoughts, hopes, dreams all along the way. The way one might share with her best friend. It’s more than just feeding, clothing, schooling, and praying for the them. The art of discipling is allowing them to see all. I have some how missed this ~ In my defense, I have three boys who often seem to not appreciate maybe when mom shares her heart. But in truth, they do. I know you’ve probably shared the heart of this idea multiple times in your books and seminars. I am a slow learner."

She touched the heart of the essence of real influence--loving with all of your heart. I often became discouraged in my own life as a m om--wondering if I was making a difference, wondering if amidst the fusses and messes, my loving words and persistent commitment to encouragement was really getting "in." Discouragement is part of the battle--yet, we become strong by practicing, exercising, if you will, love, patience, words of love, over and over again. We become what we practice.

Because of your love, giving of all of your life, and repeating loving words and encouragement, over and over again you are investing in the future voices your children will hear when they are adults.

 Mother love, I believe, is a mere reflection of Jesus' love, God love--loving and sharing life and laying down our rights that the beloved might be served, built up, encouraged, inspired, changed.

So, today, my Mentoring Monday is about just that......

(and here is Sarah's link for those of you who missed it: thoroughlyalive.com )

Let. It. Go. Book Announcement--and a Giveaway!

Well, sweet moms, Thanksgiving is over. Don't you sometimes get to the end of the Thanksgiving meal and just say ... "Whew! I did it!" I hope you had many hands to make light work of the cleanup. Perhaps today there will be time for a cup of tea and a bit of reflection.

But wait--now it's time to start shopping for Christmas, right?

There's always something new to do! There can be so much stress during this season, and the running around and constant busy-ness gets to me, too. This year I'm actually thinking I'll probably miss all the extra activities having school-aged children in the house afforded, truth be told! And so if it's not one thing, it's another. There will still be presents to buy, meals to prepare, friends to host and surprises to plan, but most of all my heart will need to be reminded of the reason even the shops and the malls are full of worship songs--Jesus has come!

This seems a perfect time to introduce my friend Karen Ehman's newest book! With all the pressures of this time of year, it's a good time to think about the fact that we really *don't* have to manage every detail of life (since that's impossible, anyway!) Here's a bit about it--and you may even win a copy! Here's what Karen has to say ...

LET. IT. GO. How to Stop Running the Show & Start Walking in Faith

By Karen Ehman

Foreword by Candace Cameron Bure

Women are wired to control. We make sure the house is clean, the meals prepared, the children are dressed, and everyone gets to where they’re going on time. But sometimes our strength of being conscientious can morph into the weakness of being a slight—or all out—control freak! This humorous, yet spiritually practical book will help you to:

  • Take control of your schedule yet welcome interruptions from God
  • Draw the line between mothering and micromanaging
  • Influence your husband instead of manipulating him
  • Learn to control your emotions when you can’t control the circumstances
  • Stop pursuing the appearance of perfection and start pursuing the person of God

NOTE: A 6-week teaching DVD and Bible Study guide is also available for group and individual use.

Purchase Link:

http://www.proverbs31.org/store/product/let-it-go/

 

Bonus:

From Chaos to Calm - Let it GoBONUS: A Free Holiday Resource for You! From Chaos to Calm: The LET. IT. GO. Christmas Challenge

And, you might just win a Kindle Fire for participating!

Do you often have Norman Rockwell-like expectations about the holidays — the decorations, the food, the gifts, the activity — laden schedule, the family get-togethers?

There are many areas where women want to exert control ensuring the perfect yuletide season. What if we learned instead to let go of unrealistic expectations and embrace an “out-of-control” Christmas this year: relaxing and relating in a peaceful manner while letting others offer input and ultimately allowing God to call the shots?

This five-day challenge will allow Christmas to go from chaos to calm as you learn to control what you should and trust God with what you can’t. The result? Less stressing and more blessing! Details at www.karenehman.com--or you can just click the cute "From Chaos to Calm" button to find out more!

Two readers will win a copy of Karen's book, so please leave a comment below to enter. Tell me ... what's the area of life you could use the most help  in "letting go?"

I'll have random.org choose a winner on Tuesday at 5pm EST!

Happy Thanksgiving! A Feast to Remember

I WISH YOU ALL  A VERY BLESSED THANKSGIVING.

I AM WELL  INTO THE COOKING, TALKING, LAUGHING, SHARING SECRETS, AND DOING IT ALL OVER AGAIN, AS ALL OF MINE ARE NOW HOME--OF COURSE WITH DISCUSSION ABOUT EVERYTHING!  (http://www.thoroughlyalive.com/ explains some of the Clarkson ways) 

BUT WANTED TO SHARE A MEDITATION of my own PONDERING A FEW DAYS AGO AND SHARED IT WITH ANOTHER FRIEND. JESUS' LIFE AS A HOST TO MANY---AMAZING TO CONTEMPLATE. THIS DAY.

A story of a feast with friends recently touched my heart. It caused me to reflect how I could also craft a celebration feast for my own family that would be long remembered.

The story invited my own heart into the story for a sense of celebration of those who loved each other.

And so the story goes,…,

Candle light sparkled, herbs and aromas of baked bread, the fragrance of tart wine wafted through the room as the hungry guests piled into the home for a night amongst friends. Each detail had been carefully planned.

The purple and rose sunset peaked through the windows as all settled into the chairs, happy to put the burdens of the day away and to invite the gracious hospitality into the dark of their day, to settle its moments finally with rest and peace.

The host had planned every last detail to delight his beloved guests. The hum of chatter and laughter filled the room. Each person was greeted warmly, personally by the host and felt attended to as though he was the only guest invited. A squeeze of the hand, a hug of welcome, intentionally focusing on the eyes of each friend, to give them the grace of welcome.

Much to their surprise, each person was served individually by the host while the servers sat away in the shadowy corners of the room. It was as though the host wanted each one present to understand how precious his friendship with them, how valued they were to him, and how much he wanted them to remember this evening.

Finally, when most had filled their hunger enough to enter into conversation, familiar amongst close friends, the host began to speak to them of the issues of life that caused their hearts to burn with feeling. It was obvious he had prepared his thoughts, he had intentionally guided the conversation to those thoughts each one needed to hear. Love was spoken out-loud. Encouragement was poured out generously, promise of forever fellowship soothed the deep places of their hearts that needed to know they were not invisible. Indeed this was a night not to be soon forgotten.

You might have guessed—the host was Jesus. The meal of celebration was the Passover, where he would pass on messages that would live through eternity.

The setting was a meal, like our own meals, shared together amongst the best of friends.

And so, Jesus, the one who made the world, also crafted a dinner that would burn brightly in the memories of his disciples forever. This, the Passover meal, when I was reading about it again, helped me to reflect on the graces that our creator provided for his beloved at their holiday celebration as a model for me in my own holiday meals with my beloved ones this year.

He prepared for them ahead of time.

He planned the meal and provided all that they needed to be fed.

He touched them, knelt and served each one, humbly, gently, thinking of how He could meet their needs

His servant heart opened their hearts to the words He would share.

Because of Him bowing his knee, and focusing His love, the heart of each disciple was open to listen, to really listen to the messages He most wanted them to remember.

He had prepared his messages in such a way that He guided the conversation to their very lessons and messages He wanted them to know when He would be gone.

And so, as I enter into our own Thanksgiving feast, I have a model from Him who used such a setting to give words of life. A servant’s heart, messages of life, love freely given.

May you know His life, His love, His servant heart as you celebrate Thanksgiving with your own family this year—and may you incarnate His Spirit to your own loved ones. I wish you and your precious ones a Happy Thanksgiving and pray blessings for you as you serve your loved ones with the fragrance of Christ through you.

 

 

 

 

Almost Thanksgiving! I'm Already Thankful

Isn't it lovely to be surprised? And especially during a season full of lots of work being done to delight other people. My birds are slowly returning to the nest, and I'd been so busy with preparations I hadn't yet had time to get fresh flowers for my tables. Then yesterday afternoon these arrived from a sweet friend who thought of me and made me feel so loved. I have much to be grateful for!

Praise the Lord! I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart, In the company of the upright and in the assembly. Great are the works of the Lord; They are studied by all who delight in them. Splendid and majestic is His work, And His righteousness endures forever. He has made His wonders to be remembered; The Lord is gracious and compassionate. He has given food to those who fear Him; He will remember His covenant forever. He has made known to His people the power of His works, In giving them the heritage of the nations. The works of His hands are truth and justice; All His precepts are sure. They are upheld forever and ever; They are performed in truth and uprightness. He has sent redemption to His people; He has ordained His covenant forever; Holy and awesome is His name. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all those who do His commandments; His praise endures forever."

~Psalm 111

I'm grateful to have my children home with us over the next few days, enjoying so many Clarkson-y things as I'm serving our traditional Thanksgiving menu tomorrow. And surely we'll end the day with stomachs a bit overfull, but I hope hearts will be full too, as we share stories old and new and just have a wonderful time together.

God is good. Looking at my sweet family so excited about the opportunity to be home reminds me how important home really is! Your preparations aren't in vain, mama. Thanksgiving is more than turkey and potatoes; you're making special memories for their hearts! Don't forget to take time to breathe every once in awhile and soak it in a bit, yourself. May you have a blessed time with your own family and friends as you gather together this week!