Holding Fast Through the Storms of Life: Preparing to Stand Strong

Jan Porcelles

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if

we do not grow weary."

Galatians 6:9

I think I watched too many romanticized movies or read too many novels when I was growing up. Somehow I came into motherhood, marriage and adult life expecting my existence to be rosy, sweet, loving, conflict-free, and Beaver-Cleverish.

"We will probably never have a fuss," I said to an older friend as I was entering into marriage. I just knew there would be no conflict! Didn't take long before I broke that expectation.

Often, when all four kids would have respiratory issues, ear infections and keep me sleepless for days at a time, I would be overwhelmed because I wasn't expecting it.

Church splits totally blew me out of the water because I had an expectation that all Christians would be loving and kind. The list goes on.

But since God's will for me was to grow up and grow stronger and wiser, instead of removing me from the conflicts, He walked me through them and I learned wisdom from lots of experiences--sometimes I learned by failing, sometimes I learned by just walking through them and realizing I was still alive at the other end.

But all the while, as Clay and I walked these challenging pathways, holding God's hand, our children were watching and learning and modeling our behavior. Not long ago, ...,

Sitting in the dark shadows of my small cozy library as the sun went behind the

mountain, found me and one of my older children talking quietly of struggles,

challenges, battles of life, and long term endurance. The deep friendship, shaped

over years of shared life, had knit our souls quite together.

I wasn't expecting this moment to be a memorable one. Just a normal moment in

the dusk of day, that shaped a soul-satisfying memory.

"Mama," my grown child tenderly whispered, "One of the greatest things you

have ever accomplished is to keep our family together through love, faith, laying

down your own life, and enduring with as much grace as Jesus could give you,

so that our lives could be whole, healthy and strong.

I know that only God will know the ways you have chosen to give and serve and forgive,  when you had to

make the choices to do so. But all of us kids have benefitted because you were

willing to weather the storms of life for us and hold us together."

Sometimes, I think mamas hold the whole world together. Their work is that

important.

Much of our lives as a family has been a battle through raging storms.

But, there are some amazing graces on this side of motherhood, when my four

children have reached adulthood---I don't have to go back through any of the

storms we barely weathered and much of my labor is behind me. And from all of

it, I see four healthy, strong, vibrant young adults who are also my beloved

friends.

Life is a journey from our present lives,  to the future home Jesus is preparing for

us to live in, with Him, for all eternity. Our own lives are filled with storms and

gales and the blowing winds of a fallen world. Many times, unexpected gales of

life threaten to undo us and overcome us. I hardly know of a family who isn't

suffering through some sort of illness, loss of job, relationship heartbreak,

conflict and difficulties.

An illusion that some people have about our family is that it has ever been easy

for us to hold fast to ideals. Through 17 moves (5 international); clinical asthma

with three of my children; adhd and ocd to extremes in two children; illnesses,

financial issues, church splits, rejection from family members for ideals--so many

storms that I was never trained for or ready to live through. Then there were the

fusses, messes, long hours and no support systems.And then the weird children

and unusual parents--we are all a study in contrasts and misfits.

All family travel into the eyes of life-storms. It is not an evidence of a bad family,

it is the reality of a fallen world, with rebellion and fallenness evident with every

dark cloud.

And yet, wanting to love God and serve Him through it all, was the glue that

held me, us, our own family, together when life threatened to tear all of us

apart.

It is not the grand, noble accomplishments that are the most

profoundly valuable to God. It is the unnoticed, the invisible

practicing of being faithful, courageous when no one else is looking,

that become the jewels of our faith in the eyes of God.

Accepting a loud, boisterous child and seeking to be patient and gentle over and

over again, when feelings threatened to erupt into frustration and anger.

For the rest of this blog article, find me writing at The Better Mom today--and also discussing Own Your Life with the Book Club there. 

To read more about Owning Your Life amidst all of these seasons, go HERE

There is Not Enough Time in LIfe to Waste It on Stress

Many years ago, our family left the city where we were living, all the stresses, duties, chores, tension of living in close quarters with too many sinful people, .....We left our life amongst the world of responsibility and the closer we drove into the cool, refreshing mountain air, away from traffic, noise, our hearts began to rest and breathe.We had piled in our car to drive up into the foothills of the Rocky Mountains to have an evening exploring the stars with beloved friends in the backyard of their mountain home that bordered the national forest. I have written the story in a chapter in Own Your Life.

The grandeur of that evening still lives in my heart. 

The spectacular views of the twinkling stars above contrasted with the sparkling city lights below, and viewing an amazing sight in the lens of a telescope looking into the heavens, gave me a different perspective of my life. I was so hyper-focused on the mundane, the immediate, the work of life, and yet there was so much more of beauty, light, life to be tasted, experience, enjoyed every day, but I could not see it because the false lights of the world and the noisy voices of others had drowned out the beauty of God.

Bible stories really are amazing. We identify with the characters that lived, we struggle with the same things, we have the same excuses.

"But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, 'Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.' But the Lord answered and said to her, 'Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her." -Luke 10:40-42

Sometimes I wonder, how did I get to this season of my life? I meant to enjoy each day, to remember each funny antic of my darling children, to memorize the golden moments that had made the love in our home so special to my heart.

 Did I remember to enjoy this day or was I in a hurry? Now it is gone.

 Much of my life was lived at such a pace, however, that I felt like I was always in a hurry to get some place or to complete a task. Perhaps in some ways, I was also trying to prove myself--to justify my decisions, to perform well. 

These overcommitted times turned me into more a drill sergeant  than a loving companion. How easy it is to focus on all of our "to do's" and to miss the magical moments of childhood and celebrating it together rather than gutting it out in frustration. How easy it is to focus on all of our "to do's" and to miss the magical moments of childhood and celebrating it together rather than gutting it out in frustration.

I am more aware than ever that life flies by. The most important investment I have made in my life is to seek to love deeply, when I took the time to do so. Learning this took time and a heart to learn to see what really mattered.

Loving my children and husband has required sacrificing my schedule and expectations in order to have time to listen, to be a friend, to share mutual joys and to cry together. Taking time to love well usually requires a simpler life that has the flexibility to cultivate "best friendships" with those are most dear. But, we live with such piles on our shoulders and feel so strongly the "Oughts" and "Must do's" that we work and work and work and exhaust ourselves and miss so much of life.

S-T-R-E-S-S!!!!!!

Statistics show that 88% of mothers feel severely stressed and overcome with anxiety due to poor time management and difficulty prioritizing. In a hectic world that is over-stimulated on our phones, computers, social media, and Starbucks addictions, are we losing sight of what is truly important in the midst of the balancing act? My mind ponders the fact that we were simply not designed to multitask to this extent. We often try so

to juggle one million ideals, and once we drop one of them, we feel defeated.

As mothers and wives, it is absolutely crucial that we learn to breath, relax, and focus in on what should be prioritized. Life is short and ideals are constantly interrupted, so be sure to focus on the most important. The people in our lives should be the priority. Do the priority people in your life (your children, your husband, your friends) feel that you are often distracted by all the things you do? Do they comment on how much they appreciate your ability to give full attention to them or do they complain that you are not listening?

Are you so stressed about making your home squeaky clean that you don't make time for game night or a stroll at sunset? Is your mind so preoccupied with getting back to the kitchen to clean all the dishes that you forget to actually enjoy dinner with your family? Did you fill your day with so many errands and "have-to's" that you ran out of energy to extend a kind word, an affectionate kiss and warm greeting to your husband? Are you so busy noticing the immature antics of your toddler or noisy boy or girl, that you have forgotten to really look at them and see the wonder of their unique personality and heart?

Indeed, we must learn to stop and smell the roses. God even made them smell like perfume, so that besides giving the vibrant reds to please our eyes, he gave them a fragrance that would engage our senses.

Psalm 90:10,12 tells us:

"As for our days, they contain 70 years or if due to strength, 80, but soon it is gone and will fly away. So teach us to number our days that we might present to you a heart of wisdom."

Worst of all, busyness is the neglect of our Father. He is so ready to give peace, to guide us in wisdom through His gentle voice, but if we do not still our souls, we are likely to get into a snit as Martha did. We create our own snits by refusing to take time to be comforted in the presence of our living, loving Father.

We must make time to sit at His feet so we don't get into a huff. If you are too busy, the consequences will be grumpiness, frustration, and missed opportunities.

What is causing you the most stress and depleting your life? What can you do about it?

Being women of wisdom means setting realistic goals so that we don't become drained. When we are constantly operating on a tank of gas that is almost empty, we have little in our hearts from which others may draw. It is so easy to listen to the voices of others and feel the guilt of performing up to other's expectations, instead of committing to the limitations and strengths of our own puzzle of life.

Make a list today of what you can reasonably accomplish and cut out those drainers that are unnecessary. What do you need to cut out? What do you need to add to your life to give your children more of a sense of love, peace and affection? Getting our priorities in order enables us to be better mothers, wives, friends, and women of God.

Today, each of has a choice--will we take time to celebrate the joys that God has provided? the beauty that He wants us to explore? The sweetness of intimacy that comes from investing heart time with those we love.

Take time to experience His pleasure. Remember:

"Taste and see that the Lord is good."

The chores and responsibilities will always be there, but the time to invest in the ones we love,

to look them in the eye,

to give an unexpected cheek kiss,

to laugh at the craziness of moments--

it will all be too soon  gone.

Today, own the moments of your life that you have been given--take them and celebrate them, because today will never come again.

Hedging your Marriage about to Keep it Strong

 

An unforgettable ride

Bumping along a rough country road, our view from the upper level of a double decker bus, was breath-taking in the late afternoon sun. Passing the ruins of empty convents and monasteries left as ghosts of a by-gone era brought a sense of mystery.  These had been the vibrant holding places for faith, sanctuary and community, but ordered destroyed by Henry the VIII. These scenes  allowed us to live into the history we had only read about in books. But amazing to us was something we had never before seen--rows and rows of hedges sometimes for miles without a break in the walls of greenery.

The 6 foot thick, 12 feet high walls of bushes cultivated over years, kept everything on the outside from getting in, while protecting everything within its borders. Cattle were kept inside, safe from wandering or the harm of attacking animals. Hedges guarded the borders of land, one family's home boundaries separated from another-a literal hedge of protection.

When we pulled into an ancient town, we peered out our window before disembarking and saw the most gorgeous flowering garden in view beside the bus. When we were down on the ground, the tall hedge blocked our view of the garden and we could no longer see what was inside.

Just as we began to pass by,  a small, wirey white-headed woman opened the front gate of the garden and came out into the road. I walked up to her and told her how lovely her garden appeared from our second story view on the bus.

"Oh, come in for a first hand look! I love to share its beauty."

Dozens of rose bushes in full bloom aglow with yellow, coral, reds of all shades, pink filled every corner of the garden. Tiny delicate blossoms of honey suckle, full sunflowers towering, a rainbow of mums clustered together filled the air with perfume as the autumn breeze swept gently over the plants.

"What is your secret to this splendid garden?"

"Honestly, I think the most profound but often invisible strength of my garden is the thick hedges that define the boundary of my garden. They protect all that is beautiful inside these walls from pests and predators that would destroy the beauty inside these walls.  Wind and storms do not sweep away the plants or diminish the leaves and growth, deer do not munch on the bulbs or eat the flowers down to the stubs, natural storms and threats at every point are kept at bay because of the protection of my hedges. Hedges protect the beauty, the growth, and give me a safe place where my plants can grow over time."

Marriage Needs to be protected, it needs to be hedged about by God's word, God's design so that there is accountability to living and choosing the right commitments and attitudes when temptations to compromise come. 

Recently, I was thinking about how this image is so clearly portrays how important hedges are to a strong marriage. The hedges of protection for my marriage have been holding my bond with Clay for many years.

There is a tall hedge of protection that has guarded my marriage for 33 years. This hedge is a wall of safety that has kept me from going outside its walls into the danger that lures one into the danger of the world, into the predators that would destroy marriage--adultery, a promise that perhaps happiness awaits outside the walls of marriage, there is a more perfect man--lover--somewhere else, vain imagination that promises happiness anywhere else, but provides only long term scars.

But my marriage hedge was built around our sacred relationship by vows made before God. The borders of our hedge, created by scripture itself, kept us moving within the boundaries of our marriage relationship, even when we would be tempted to discontent or a feeling of despair. Vows, scripture, God's desire and intention built the borders of our protective hedge.

"To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

Sincerely, if naively, I had made these vows and intended to keep them forever.

My vows became a hedge that protected me from the danger of leaving the walls of safety that held our commitment together.

I made a vow before friends, family and most importantly, before God--and I knew from scripture that God holds us to our vows.

I wanted my integrity to match my words.

"If a man makes a vow to the LORD, or takes an oath to bind himself with a binding obligation, he shall not violate his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth." Numbers 30:2

I also knew that God said, "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." Matthew 19: 6

All marriages are a journey from our selfish ways towards a more mature, holy, person, eventually useful to God as we learn to yield our rights, one day at a time.

All marriages are an alliance between two sinful, limited people and so stress is inevitable. Conflict rubs deeply against our grain as we run into the stress of differing personalities, immature relational habits, faults and flaws of every kind.

When selfishness, hurt feelings, disappointment, misunderstandings, arguments, disagreements came through the different seasons, there was a hedge surrounding our relationship that kept me inside, and held me from wandering outside into places of danger.

I had made a vow to God that in this trust, I would be faithful, I would be true. Even when I did not feel like being mature or forgiving or respectful, the promise made kept me inside the boundaries of marriage, and instructed me to practice faithfulness. Learning to be a team with Clay instead of letting my individualism define my life, kept me moving towards unity, family community, becoming a part of each other's history  and story, built together over many years of faithful endurance.

Because I knew that God held vows seriously, when I was tempted to want escape, the hedges of my knowledge that loyalty in my marriage was to be for Him, my God enthroned in heaven, who had heard my vows, it protected me from going astray. The hedge reminded me to stay within the strong walls of His design, to live within the limitation of my own place.

We need to build strong hedges of character around all of our sacred relationships. Hedges that protect, that allow growth over seasons within its walls, that give protection from the voices, dangers and temptations outside its walls, so that we have the opportunity to grow stronger over years and decades.

The world outside these holy hedges falsely tempts us to break our vows. The voices of the world are dangerous and destructive, and tell us that we each "deserve" to be happy, as though unfaithfulness or compromise can ever build a stronger or happier soul.

Accountability to these hedges of protection, markers of what holds us fast and strong, is essential to keep us going forward, living as servants, moving forward through difficult passages by faith.

To build anything great and strong requires time. But a hedge of strength, protecting, guarding the beauty inside is a safe-guard from destroying the sacred trust. Marriage is one of the most profound ways God designed for us so that we could slowly learn and develop in our own lives, the very character of Christ, learning to serve, love, and give ourselves as He  did for us.

When life brings unexpected twists and turns, God forgives. God gives grace. God heals when we put our lives and the consequences in his hands. I understand that our world and our lives are often hurt by consequence that are beyond our control.

The older I get, the more precious women I meet who did not have hedges of protection, walls of strength or easy circumstances to hold them safely inside the walls of marriage. God's grace, love and forgiveness abound to slowly bring healing. All of us find our value in His love and redemption and grace that covers us.

Yet in a generation that is afraid to hold up ideals, it is profoundly important that we understand the ideal of His heart as He created marriage was for us to strain towards sacrificial love, practicing godly character, learning the value of His own loyal love given to us.

As we have choices each day to honor Him, may each of us learn to Own Our Lives by Owning our Marriages and living within the hedges of protection that help us to grow more fully into maturity, and learning one step at a time just what His own sacrificial love toward us means.

Today, as God leads through His spirit and wisdom, Own Your Marriage, by living within the walls of protection that scripture gives us, so that we may have time to grow strong, time to beautify our story, time to leave a legacy of faithfulness for our children to follow.

I find that through the trials, the years of building team-ship by faith, the years of seeking to model love for the sake of wanting to leave a pattern for our cyhildren, forgiveness, loyalty and grace, the seeds of HIs faithful love have become a deep satisfaction to both of our souls. Our love is now a precious balm to both of our souls, as we look back and see how He was leading us to more contentment, deeper understanding of love through practicing living within the boundaries we had been given. In the end, we come to understand that seeking to follow His paths ultimately brings health, strength and deep fulfillment and satisfaction of having kept at the journey. Finishing well comes from running the race with the goal of serving Jesus as our life long motivation.

Today is the Day

 

Today, as you look around you, be intentional about seeing His fingertips. Still yourself to listen for the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit.

What would He say to you? What burdens do you need for Him to carry?

What bitterness or fear is robbing you this day of His peace, love and joy?

What voices of guilt or inadequacy are whispering negativity into your moments?

Do you see these children He formed in your womb for you as a taxing burden to your day or as a miracle?

You are complete in Him, precious to Him, strengthened by Him and He loves being your companion.

Today, is a day to invest in, to affirm to restore. Today is a the day to redeem.

Lenten Splendor Amidst Life in Oxford

Reading these beautiful words today gave a balm to my soul, a stopping of my distracted mind to watch the sun go down as I pondered how I might stop my life in the days ahead for the season ahead. As my various children have studied in the UK and had trips for ministry and friendship there, our family has developed a love for some of the lovely English churches we have attended. Sarah has so enjoyed a sweet community of believers right down the road from her house in Oxford. Enter her world and find her words a solace today.

I didn’t even wear a coat for the walk to my coffee shop today. The air is honey-toned and soft. The sky is so vividly blue it flashes in, arresting as flame through the windows of the lecture hall in the morning, drawing eye and heart into its promising warmth. Springtime is a dream blooming up at the edge of winter today. Daffodils huddle under the woven black of the bare, tangled tree limbs. The earth broods, damp, close to waking. The first snowdrops star the dark carpets under the trees. And birdsong wakes me early in the morning.

The life of this freshened day, the light, the searing blue, draws my sight up and outward constantly. From work, from screen, from dreams, my consciousness is drawn away from the clamor of my student life to a great, silent glory. I am challenged to attention by this beauty. The color of it is a kind of demand upon my eyes, a request I fully answer with my wholly given attention. Who could refuse an invitation to such magnificence?

Funny then, that Shrove Tuesday, the day in the church year when believers around the world prepare to abstain in some way from earthy luxury, should fall amidst such splendor. No rain, or dampened skies, no dim, dark hours are present this afternoon to match the self-denial so associated with the opening of Lent. Tomorrow, I’ll walk up to the altar in my church, confess my mortality, and receive the mark of ashes on my forehead. I’ll remember my sin. I’ll try to fast in some way for forty whole days. Incongruous, it might seem at first, to begin this Lenten season of self-denial just as springtime wakens in all its opulence.

But as I contemplate the coming season this afternoon, perched in my coffee shop window seat, I find in the gem-like world out the panes a perfect frame as I prepare my heart to repent. I think the sunlight, the searing blue, the quickened life, the fragile flowers are a fit and lovely setting to this opening of Lent. Because, though the practice of Lent is repentance and self-denial, repentance is simply the way by which I rid myself of the lesser things that distract me from their source. A great glory, greater even than the golden day out this window, dwells in the inmost room of my heart. The morning star of the universe has taken up residence in my soul, and Lent is the season in which I remember the single, blazing fact of him there, and journey back from all that draws my sight from his glory.

Lent is, I think, the answer of the human soul to the challenge and invitation of God’s love. Lent is the call to turn my face from the clamor of a thousand distractions, to the Beauty in which I have my being.

Yes, it is a season of denial. But the denial is of the non-essential things that make it a genuine difficulty for me to live in the presence of God’s essential Love. To confess is to name what hinders God’s life in me. Habits of sin or distraction, of hatred nurtured, of insecurity kept. To fast is to free myself from the niggling loves that lessen my response to the great one. To wait, to watch, to keep a season of reflection, is to grow quiet enough to meet the Easter event with clarified, adequate, renewed sight that greets the gift of the risen Christ in fully ripened joy.

Lent is a return, to the heart of all that matters most, the single Matter of Christ apart from whom nothing matters at all.

My Lenten practices this year? To give up some food or drink (yet to be decided). To try, as much as possible, to keep company with the wider Church by keeping a partial fast on Fridays and setting aside an extra space for prayer. Simple, small things really, little tests to jolt me awake to God.

The harder thing? A space of determined, daily, kept quiet in which technology is banned and prayer or silence is practiced from early evening until morning prayers the following day. It’s easy, in the busy days I lead, to collapse into my chair at the end of the day and open the computer. To scan, to click, to fritter an hour or two away on a miniseries or a few random articles. None of it evil, of course. But it means that I go to sleep with a busy brain and waken with an unquiet mind. I reach for my iPhone as I rise, wondering what deadline I’ve missed, or news I need to know. Before I’ve even been awake ten minutes, my mind is in a whirl from which it is difficult to emerge for even a brief time of Scripture and prayer. Lectures await. Essays scream to be written. And I, already amidst a whirlwind, feel that God looms somewhere beyond the whiz of it all, but I can’t really catch his eye.

Well, I plan to let him catch my eye in this season of quiet and catch it good.

I begin with an awareness of God’s full givenness to me, a grace that allows me to repent in loving response rather than guilt. Guilt is easy for me. I’m a perfectionist. It’s funny; the more I am drawn into the rhythms of worship here in Oxford, forms and prayers that answer some of the deepest hungers of my heart for shape, rhythm, physical expression of worship, the deeper my sense of inadequacy grows. I often find myself kneeling in an aching, angsty desire to somehow give or be more than I am in response to the God I encounter in worship. I strain, I grieve with the desire to offer more of myself in response to the Love given so freely to me. Much of my prayer boils down to a simple repetition, “I wish I could offer more.” A holy desire, perhaps, but one that, in a perfectionist heart like mine, can turn my eyes to my own faults rather than the Love that heals them.

But a few nights ago, I went to compline at Magdalen College. In deep shadow, amidst plain-chanted hymns to end the day, I looked to the altar where candles burned round a simple cross. Behind the altar loomed a larger than life picture of a sorrowing Christ, cross on his shoulder, garbed in brown, down on one knee as he bore the weight of the world’s sin and grief. Kneeling there in the lyrical, candlelit darkness, with the hymns almost whispered in a tender, gentle awe, I was aware of Christ’s givenness. Of the love poured without stint or measure. Of the grace that is with me now, regardless of what I offer.

I did not need to give, because all Love was already given to me. All that was needed was my joy in the fact.

Lent is, I think, the nourishment of joy.

It’s the honing of sight, the hushing of mind, so that Love can make his presence potently known.

If you’ve never practiced Lent before, well, join the club. Neither have I, at least to this extent. But I’m excited. Eager, like a child standing at the cusp of a journey. I’ve eaten my required stack of Shrove Tuesday pancakes (which, in England, are really crepes dressed with lemon and sugar). I’ve feasted at formal hall to end the evening. I’ve watched the day close with the knowledge that tomorrow a great quieting and centering of soul and self begins. Tomorrow I will speak these words:

Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return. Turn away from sin and be faithful to Christ.

Christ, in whom dust is formed back into living love.

Join me.

Sarah Clarkson  ThoroughlyAlive.com

God Who Faithfully Whispers His Message to My Beloved Child

 

My sweet, wonderful adult daughter Joy, will always be "Little Joy" to me--even when she is 60. But to everyone else, in the past few years, she has become known as Joyness, the Brave.

She is my treasure, the child who came as an answer to prayer when I was already in my forties. It just didn't seem like our family was complete without another girl. I would love to hold on to her and keep her near--wish I had been able to keep her small. But God has whispered into my heart that I am merely a steward, a temporary guardian angel to take care of His children trusted into my care,  for Him, and then to release them into the world, so that they might live their own story for Him.

Amidst the first Isis attacks, and the threat of English journalists being the next victims, I did have to release her into His hands,  amidst the first part of this story of terror, believing that He would be in England when she got there. Release has been a constant practice through all the years of my life. it never comes easy, but it is always what He asks--even as He asked Abraham to release his only son, Isaac.

But now comes the rest of the story. God did meet her there. Whispering a truth that was her own about His power over all of history, over all the moments. And so, Joy wrote an article today, that sums up a part of what God did for her in making this truth--that His ways are unshakeable, that He who holds the stars, holds her--and holds every second of history. Here is a part of her story--and the ways He taught her some of the lessons she would need for her own life.

I give you Joy, and her story!

This is the church I am going to be a part of.

The words crossed my mind as we exited, organ music ringing in the rafters. It is an architectural mix of cathedral and California with its high ceilings and frosted windows letting in the coastal sun. After returning from Oxford, and having been gone from California for nearly 9 months, this place felt like a crossroads of my experience of church in England and my current abode. What a rejuvenation and relief to have a church.

My friend and I shuffle out of the church. My soul gently descending from the power of the last hymn.

Thou of life the fountain art,

Freely let me take of Thee;

Spring Thou up within my heart;

Rise to all eternity.

 The last lines of the hymn stick with me. I think every church service plays out a small version of the drama of history. Rejoicing, repenting, praying, receiving. Members before me have lived and died by this rhythm. Saints and martyrs and sinners alike have tread this path of life through grace. And beneath all the ancient rhythms is the tight held hope of coming glory. The cornerstone of the risen Christ.

I look around and laugh to myself as I look at those around me. This church most certainly has a target audience: Students from my university, of the academic bent. I suppose I fit in... sort of. But we are here to love and serve the Lord together.

This is the church I am a part of.

 After curry bowls and conversations, Elena and I return to the important task of nail painting. Finally, I sit down to begin my work for the evening, but before, I look at the news. My stomach drops. 21 Christians dead. grief. fear. anger. prayer.

This is the church that I am a part of.

 If I allow myself, these stories seem distant and strange. I could separate them from myself, not feel their heaviness in my spirit. But I cannot separate. Their God is my God. As they pray, rejoice, repent and believe, so do I. Together, we rejoice in love and renewal. Together we sorrow in persecution. Together, we wait in readiness for Christ.

 So we have the prophetic word made more sure, to which you do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star arises in your hearts. (2 Peter 1:19)

This is the church I am a part of.

 I went to Ireland last fall. While we were there, I was able to see the Book of Kells. It is the oldest gospel manuscript in Ireland, magnificently illuminated with designs so beautiful one could hardly attribute them to human hands. The Book of Kells came from a time when the monasteries of Ireland, England and Scotland were frequently pillaged and burned by the Vikings. The manuscripts themselves had traveled a great deal due to the fact that, if I recall the exhibit correctly, the abbey at which they were kept was burned down something like 17 times in 50 years. But in that destruction, the monks and scribes preserved and created the beautiful manuscript. The worst happened, but their response was to create one of the most beautiful manuscripts of scripture which, more than a thousand years later, encouraged my own faith.

This is church I am a part of.

 Lent begins on Wednesday. Lent is a time of penitence, waiting, withdrawing distractions that we might love God and one another better. Like Advent, in Lent we practice and rehearse the tension of life on earth: awaiting the redemption of our souls. And the redemption of our souls and the restoration of all things is no small hope. Not only that, the church is depicted in Revelation as being gloriously redeemed, all wounds healed, all wounds made beautiful.

This is the church I am a part of.

 The world is not redeemed yet, but what unites me with the church I attend, the church I mourn with, and the church that has gone before me, is the pulsing, thriving hope of glory. Our faith is based on the belief that God will make all things new. Therefore, I do not interact with the world based in fear, but in fearsome hope of the renewal of all things. When I encounter darkness, I want to do as the monks and scribes who created the Book of Kells; I want to bring light to darkness, beauty to ugliness, to live in a way that acknowledges the coming hope we truly have. We are the church that, as Jesus said, the gates of hell will not overcome.

Let us live with fearless love knowing God will redeem all.

This is the church I am a part of.

When Darkness Threatens Your Soul, Look Up

“Mama, the world seems like a very scary place, and it makes me feel insecure and powerless. I am afraid I will be so lonely without friends and family to face the difficulties ahead.”

Joy, my daughter, was a senior in college, and was leaving the next day for a semester of study in Oxford, England. Yet, the day we were packing, the second American journalist had his head cut off by ISIS displayed everywhere on international media. Friends sent messages and news stories with photos to Joy, wondering if she had seen the news...

News storms the sensibilities of our hearts daily. A man burned alive in front of the cameras.

Coptic Christians having their heads chopped off, ready for all of us to see on facebook and publicized everywhere on the news.

Fragile young girls being trafficked and forced to prostitution.

The economy falling apart.  Immorality declining at an alarming rate. Wars, earthquakes, diseases, all a common part of our daily news.

What is happening in our world? What is our future? How can we make this a secure place for our children and promise them a future with hope.

It is a natural response to be afraid, to be angry, to feel abused or downcast. There is nothing wrong about feeling fearful. Emotions are neutral. Emotions are a part of the make up of the body that God gave to us to respond to life.

Somehow it comforted me to realize that when Jesus was tortured and crucified, Hebrews tells us, "He despised the shame." (Hebrews 12:2)

He was the one who cried at the death of Lazurus. He understands our grief and our fear.

But it is what we do with these emotions that will determine if we become victims or victors in the circumstances of our lives.

Fear not or do not be afraid is used around 110 times in scripture. Why? Because God knew that we would be tempted to be afraid often in our lives and that the darkness of this world would threaten our inner peace and security.

We know that Satan, knowing his time is short, is throwing out his wrath.

Yet, Jesus told us that in this world, we would have tribulation. He left no doubt about what challenges our lives would hold.

He who faced crucifixion, a brutal killing from his enemies, has never asked us to live in faith in a way that he has not already faced.--And yet he encouraged us to "Take courage!"  As He took courage and went to the cross amidst the greatest evil.

Embrace courage, sow courage, live by faith into the courage the Holy Spirit provides.

What if we are getting closer to the end of the world, a time when we know that all evil and wickedness will be at its pinnacle?

What if God chose for you to be born in this time, because He thought you worthy to stand strong for Him in one of the most difficult times in history? What if you were called to be a brave and courageous testimony to your children of how to live generously, faithfully, boldly in hard times, so that they would have the courage to live boldly in their lifetime?

What if this is the time given to you to exercise your faith so that He might be glorified in your world, through your faithfulness, in your lifetime?

Each of us is given one day at a time to be faithful--that is this day. It is time to put away pettiness, selfishness, mediocrity, conformity. This day is the day you have been given to love generously, to live joyfully, to bring light into darkness, to forgive generously, to show compassion and a servant heart. There is no better time than now.

My own precious Joy had to face her own fears before she went to England in the fall. And now circumstances are even worse.

But these stressful moments when we are with our children, become the training grounds for them to grow strong in spiritual muscle and personal faith.

The times we whisper the reality of God into their fears, into their challenges and tell them they are chosen by God to live in this time--that they are called to be His witness, because He has trusted them with "these times."

I wrote about this story in Own Your Life because it was occurring as I finished my book.  I had a test before me with my sweet daughter, of my own philosophy that I had been writing about--and how I would live into it.

As she prepared  to go to Oxford to be a student, the day before she was to leave, the first British person was threatened to be murdered in front of television cameras. Her friends suggested surely England would go to war while she was there,. "Do you really think you should go to the UK right now? What if they wage war? What if you are separated from your family in another world war?"

My final words to her, as we nestled together in the chill mountain air on our lawn, looking up at the stars were,

"The God who holds the stars, holds you." (You may read the rest of my story with Joy, as I am sharing at Proverbs 31, where I wrote about this  today. Tyndale is giving away 10 copies of Own Your Life on Proverbs 31.)

But, what about you?

Do you know that God is supreme, sovereign above all wickedness and He never loses control?

He is the light over all the universe. Psalm 139 tells us, even the darkness is not dark to Him.

He knew all of our days, when there was not one of them--and He planned to be with us each day, to strengthen us, to guide us, to help us live faithfully in hard times. Those who have lost their lives for their testimony of faithfulness have entered into God's presence and they have finished their course and now are at peace.

May our precious Lord give each of us strength, faithfulness, wisdom and love with the courage to live our lives well, because we have this day to live for His glory.

I would love to know what you do to strengthen yourself in the Lord, and how you keep your heart centered. I would love to pray for you in your struggles. I did pray for each of you tonight, that you would know how precious your heart is to God--whatever your fears, whatever your pain. He is with you.

Celebrating the Miracle of My Moments Today: Innocence over Evil

Carl Larsson One of my favorite artists

(Don't you just love the red, contrasted with the green and blue?Reminds me of my lovelies when they were small.)

"Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing.... Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away."

Ann Voskamp 1000 Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You  Are

Evil is lurking and tempting in a fury around every corner. Yet, the celebration of innocence, light, goodness dispels the darkness. Taking time to celebrate life builds deep patterns of goodness, the sacredness of life, the beauty of love into the brains and souls of our children. We must take time to worship by giving time to notice and celebrate what matters.

Today, my plan was to not get up early, to not work a lot, to avoid feeling like I had to meet deadlines or other's expectations.

When I surveyed my soul upon awakening, I saw a few alarming issues bubbling there and knew that there were steps to take to make myself better. The first thing I did was to call a friend who I always look to for lifting me up. I know that because she walks with the Lord every day, she holds ideals in her heart, she lives by integrity--as well as she can manage. From experience, I know that I will be blessed just by being with her. It never fails. The excellent self she has become by practicing holiness for so many years causes her to be a source of wisdom, strength, comfort, life, love, encouragement to all who are with her.

Everyone should try to find a friend who has this kind of influence and everyone of us should seek to be this kind of friend.

I started out with candles, hot tea and music. Reading out of two different devotionals lifted my thoughts. "They Found the Secret" and "Christ Plays in 10,000 Places" were at the top of my list today. And reading some of Daniel. I pondered how the 3 companions to Daniel must have felt being bound and thrown into a fire that was so hot, it killed the soldiers who put them there. This seemed very similar to what happened to the person being burned to death last week. Some things have not changed much.

My friend served me a salad and wisdom--"You need a brain cleanse and I know just what book would encourage you."

Putting my stressful and draining issues into a proper place helped to settle some questions in my soul. A coffee on the way home at a favorite local cafe as I met Joel. A long  sunset walk and a warm talk in the chill of the winter, sitting in rocking chairs wool coats around our shivering bodies, in the  setting sun, satisfied more holes in my heart. Salmon, salad for dinner, probably a short show on Netflix with exactly 5 dark chocolate salted almonds, (my current diet quota) while lying on the couch will be fun.  My day will include a hot bath with salts tonight before I go to bed.

Restoring can look different for everyone. I look for art, music, books, stories, people who feed my soul, and whose life serves to feed my mind and heart long after I have left them. And so, I love how God has crafted sweet Ann Voskamp, (one of my soul-feeders),  into such an artist. Her words feed and deeply touch my dry places. I am so grateful she leans her ear toward His voice and then faithfully paints word pictures that express my heart. If you haven't bought her book, you must be sure to do so. Here is where you may order it.

This season, I am teaching myself to linger.

It is not natural for me, one who is and has been in a hurry for so long. But in the hurry, I have missed the miracles of moments.

Now, however, since so many are away from home, pursuing their own adventures, my every day, every phone call, every skype with my children is a gift. They are vibrant, strong, idealistic, godly, loving, fun and wonderful. They still make messes and even sin once in a while, but oh, what life and beauty permeates my home and hours with their ever-presence. But when they give me a whole day, I am blessed. Only one is full-time home right now, Joel, and he is just on loan, and so I am trying to groom myself to listen, to look, to love and to really see the miracle of my son before me. They all seem to come and go but always come back home and to me, for a "linger."

I learned this lesson of celebrating the ordinary moments many years ago on the occasion of a birthday.

On Joy's fifth birthday, I planned a party that I thought I would please her. Too much effort to clean the house so that the moms of the kids I invited would see an orderly house, kept me from focussing on my precious birthday child. I was Martha-ing about putting out cake, balloons, favors, making finger sandwiches, planning what I thought she would like--all the while looking at the day from the grid my adult eyes.

The children came and in just two hours, they fought over the toys, spilled the red punch on another little girl's favorite dress, one little boy threw a toy across the room and hit another little girl in the head and made her cry. It was a memory of messes, crying, friction, stress and Joy was unhappy the whole time, feeling that she was trying to please me by staying at the party.

When the all the guests finally left, I heard a "pound, pound, pound of feet running across our deck. I walked out of our kitchen door and glanced into the afternoon shadows playing tag with the fading sun over our mountain, and there was sweet Joy.

Dressed in her old, slightly stained and torn favorite ballet suit, she was running, giggling across the deck with a bubble wand at her head level with bubbles flying out behind her. I stopped and sat on our picnic bench and just gazed at her as the sun went down. For an hour she played and ran and delighted in the beauty of her bubble parade. I took it in, I cherished the picture in my mind, and chastised myself for missing the glory of her beauty and youth in the busyness of my tirades to fulfill my expectations of the party I thought would make her happy.

"Oh, Mommy!" she exclaimed, "This is my favorite time of my whole day! I am having sooooooooo much fun. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful present."

She climbed into my lap with milk mustache sprinkled with  cupcake crumbles, sticky bubble juice on her hair, and snuggled up with a happy sigh.

And so, I melted into her little body, breathing in the atmosphere of her pure-hearted, innocent love. I did then cherish the moment and took the time to take a soul photograph whose imprint will be there forever.

Tomorrow, again, I will live in every moment, celebrate all the sweet fellowship that is right in front of me, no matter how many dishes used or messes are made, or whatever noise is created through the moments of my day. All of it will be precious and priceless as I redeem the moments for memories to visit in my next season when they will all be gone.

This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice--and act of our will--we will rejoice and be glad in it.

For a little more refreshment, I have written about the art of life in Own Your Life.

Restore to Nurture a Heart of Joy

A very long time ago, at least 15 years ago, I fell in love with a friend who was immediately a kindred spirit. Her heart was so like mine, and we shared ideals in a love for books for our children, a love of family, a love of our precious Jesus, a love of words--and her beautiful words always inspired my heart. 

Last summer, this friend, Elizabeth, came to my home for several days, with a few other friends, and we celebrated our friendship again, but this time in person. She has been through seasons of littles, elementary, middle school ages, high school and having married children. We both hope to end the next seasons well, but we both know it takes intentionality. I think you will be so blessed by this amazing course she has put together. And just for my readers, she has provided a wonderful gift and printable.

My heart in writing Own Your Life was to help women restore a vibrant vision for life and for the kingdom and for your relationships. This wonderful seminar will lead you to restore your inner self, your true self--emotionally and spiritually so that you will have an overflow from which to live your vision and ideals. I am going to be going through it myself.  Will you please share about this with your friends, and move toward refreshment and peace as you restore and nurture a refreshed heart. I give you Elizabeth.

When we first come to a relationship in Christ as an adult, whether that's through maturing in faith or through a conversion, we are on fire. There is no lukewarm, mediocre feeling. There is fire. There is an urge to shout for joy, to do His work, to join the choir and sing His praises from the rooftops. And then, we settle in. We commit. We live the Christian life day in and day out. We know joy, but sometimes, we grow weary and the fire grows a little cooler. Life happens. We are asked to take turns we didn't know were there and climb hills that seem steeper than we even knew possible. Calm confidence evades us and though we are joyful deep-down, we're not exactly dancing a happy dance.

Because we are committed to a life in Christ, our hearts are restless. We want to rest in Him. We want to feel joyful. Still, our souls are hungry and our spirits are weary.

I've been there.

The first time I was there, I had four young children and a major case of burnout. As I battled back, I kept notes. I shared those notes in a talk at a conference. Strangely enough, those notes became the foundation upon which a a book was written--a whole book about education and twelve years later readers still tell me that the most dog-eared chapter is the one on burnout.

We give and give and give and then we crash because we've nothing left to give and nothing left with which to restore ourselves. Burnout is a real thing for mothers. 

I have nine children now. Only two of them can be considered "young." The rest are teens or twenties. I have learned some strategies along the way as these children grew and it's a good thing, too, because I'm finding that mothering older children is stretching me in new ways.

That burnout chapter all those years ago? I've discovered so much since then. I'd like to share those things with you. Last year, I offered an online retreat -- a closed community where women could come together and restore themselves--body, mind, and spirit. This short video gives me a chance to better explain what it was all about:

This year, the time together has been expanded to include all of Lent and Easter week. When we begin, it will be mid-winter February. We'll stay together throughout March and emerge victorious in early April. We've added new written content and new podcasts (in addition to all the wildly popular original podcasts). There will be some beautiful new printables joining the ones we offered last year. The space online is one of quiet calm and beautiful inspiration. It's not something else on your to-do list--it's a gift that makes doing all those important things possible.

We've created a printable just for Sally's readers. It's a sneak peek at Restore, but it's also a tangible reminder that you can print and frame in your own home if you'd like to take some time and prayerfully discern whether to join us. It's a gift--right now!

Download SCRestore2015

Still not sure this is for you? Perhaps it would help to hear from women who traveled the path last year.

I'm so glad I invested in the workshop. I initially found it hard to justify spending money on myself, and questioning whether I was really experiencing burnout. From the very first essay, I was in tears realising this was exactly what I was experiencing and I wasn't alone. Every aspect of the workshop ministered to my soul and I'm so glad I now have all the resources available to revisit when I recognise the triggers of burnout resurfacing. I can't thank you all enough for your faithfulness in putting all this together - and I have a friend in mind that I will be recommending the workshop to. --Annette

Restore changed my life. I did not realize that there were other women out there with the same struggles of keeping God in the forefront. During this retreat, I found myself more calm and focused on what really mattered. I am so looking forward to getting back to that place as the accountability with the group really keeps me on track --Ashlee

Restore was such a gift for me. Coming off of the holidays and major changes in my life, I didn't realize how weary and spiritually parched I had become. Restore did exactly what it's name says, it helped to restore my joy, re-set my priorities, and renew my relationship with the Lord. Knowing a new devotion, video, and focus was in my inbox actually gave me courage to face the day and the community of women that formed was precious and sweet. Elizabeth and Joy are one of us--moms that have been in the trenches for quite a few years, who have weathered storms of motherhood, and who fight for their own joy daily. They put together a workshop that truly reached my heart and blessed. Can't wait for the next one! --Betty

Because I already felt like I was drowning, adding Restore to my packed schedule felt impractical and pointless. In fact, during the entire workshop, I was unable to implement any of Elizabeth's wise advice beyond the first few days. Nevertheless, just reading her gentle words daily was like a healing balm to my soul, and over the next several months following the workshop, I began to find balance in caring for my family and myself. Elizabeth has blessed me with a new understanding of my own dignity and worth and countless practical strategies to live out my vocation as a wife and mother with peace and joy. --Jenny

Although I'm not a wife or mother (yet), I have benefitted so much from Restore. After becoming broken in every aspect of my life (right down to broken bones), I needed help to put even the most basic parts of my life back into perspective. This retreat gave me the daily guidance and traction that I needed to begin to care for myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The lessons from Restore continue to inspire me and remind me that I glorify God when I make time for things that bring me life and joy. --Kate

Click here to take the first step.

Elizabeth

Mentoring and Friendship: Necessities for Living & Thriving!

 

Two years ago, Sarah Mae and I launched our book together, Desperate: Hope for the Mom who Needs to Breathe

We felt that mamas needed to know that all of us feel desperate, alone, inadequate, lost and want to run away--at times! Even though we dearly love our children and want the very best for them.

Since that time, we have both received hundreds of letters from sweet mamas who have been inspired, encouraged and instructed through the book as they move toward becoming the mama God created them to be.“

Consequently, we are so very happy to be able to share this radio show with you today, where we met with Jim Daly of Focus on the Family to prepare a webcast interviewing Sarah Mae and me, sharing our journey together in life, friendship and in our relationship of mentorship.

In light of this radio show celebration, our publisher, Thomas Nelson, has agreed to give away 5 books to readers to keep for themselves or to give to a friend. All you have to do to enter is to leave a comment below about your biggest struggle, delight or desire of what kind of mama you want your children to remember. And we will pick 5 winners from the comments. To find your radio show, go HERE.

To listen to the webcast, go HERE.

Hope you enjoy our show today. We always have lots of fun together.

Here are some of the quotes from the book.  

I always wanted to be a hero--to sacrifice my life in a big way one time--and yet, God has required my sacrifice to be thousands of days, over many years, with one more kiss, one more story, one more meal.” 

― Sally Clarkson

“Going at it alone is, without a doubt, one of the most common and effective strategies that Satan uses to discourage moms.” ― Sarah Mae, 

“We can’t get away with anything with children. They are keen and attentive, and they will eventually grow up to tell the story of their home.”  

Sarah Mae

“One of the marks of a godly woman is that she takes responsibility for her soul's need for joy and delight. A woman is a conductor, who leads the orchestra of her surroundings in the songs and music of her life. God is a God of creativity and dimension, and so He is pleased when we we co-create beauty in our own realm, through the power of His Spirit.

Sally Clarkson

LEAVE YOUR COMMENT BELOW TO WIN A COPY OF DESPERATE!