When Dark Clouds of Life Threaten to Overwhelm

"For even when we came into Macedonia, our flesh had no rest, but we were afflicted on every side: conflicts without, fears within.  But God, who comforts the depressed, comforted us by the coming of Titus; and not only by his coming, but also by the comfort with which he was comforted in you, as he reported to us your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me; so that I rejoiced even more." II Corinthians 7: 5-7

Seems like always around conference season, my life heats up. Stresses, challenges, issues, that threaten the peace of my life, come to distract and cause fear. I am a retreater. When troubles come, I want to run away from people.

However, after 18 years of troubles during this ministry season, I have come to deal with it better more quickly. Do difficulties and hurts still challenge my life and create pain, doubt and insecurity? Of course. But my habit has grown over the years, to come to Him, pour out my heart, release it and give it to Him, and then walk forward by faith--faith that eventually it will all turn out ok, that He is good, that I have this moment to worship Him, that I will learn and be more humble.

Storms are inevitable.

Nature sings a sad song when the storm clouds gather and threaten our safe lives.

In Seasons of a Mother's Heart, many years ago, I wrote a chapter about myself when I had been almost immobilized with a feeling of darkness. I was lying on my bed in the afternoon as the sun was going down and I had the thought that I wanted just to stay there and disappear into the darkness. I then thought, I hope no one in the house finds me. I still remember that day and a number of other times when I felt so discouraged in my life that I felt, for the moment, hopeless and defeated.

Part of the seasons of life, as we grow and mature, as we learn more deeply the battle at hand in this fallen world and it crashes into our personal lives, we find ourselves sometimes immobilized, exhausted and weary. The winters, when storms seem to loom large in our lives, God sees us still and loves us so compassionately, even when we do not know.

I remember that in Anne of Green Gables, Marilla, the woman who adopted Anne, had said to her, "To despair is to turn your back on God."

It always made me feel a little guilty, because I had felt despair many times in my life. Often, when a mom reads my chapter in Seasons about my deep darkness, she will say, "That is just how I feel!" And then, "It helped me to know that others had felt that way, too."

Yet, I think, in reality, that if we are following God's will, difficulty and discouragement will be a regular part of our lives. 

I actually had to admit, that when I read the passage by Paul, in II Corinthians, about his being depressed, it made me feel better about myself--after all if Paul, the great hero of the faith, had been depressed, then maybe there was hope for me.

I discovered that it is not a sin to be discouraged or depressed, but our response to it is what determines our long term well-being.

God made me an idealist. I love the idea of life being romantic and everything turning out happily ever after. I would like to have raised my children in a g-rated world. I would have liked to have a perfect family and good support systems and a really good church fellowship to be a part of, and a Pollyanna community who reciprocated to me in friendship and fellowship and no financial stress or relationship stress or, or, or! How I wish I could wave a magic want and make all people mature, kind, loyal, loving--especially those who call themselves Christians.

But, alas, I cannot make others be mature, and we cannot control the lack of faith, the unkindness, the rejection of the world. I can only choose to practice maturity, grace, love and peace-making. And my choice becomes a gift of my faith to God.

Yet, I have also realized that if I am hammered enough, I eventually become softer. And this process has made me more pliable in God's hands.

I think that this was the hardest thing for me over the years. I just wasn't expecting life to be so hard. I didn't know mothering would be so taxing. I didn't understand that the culture was going so post modern, in exactly the opposite direction than Clay and I were leading our family. I also didn't know or understand the constant work load and wasn't trained to do it. I wasn't prepared for real life--and that was one of the most common sources of my difficulty.

It was sweet, though, to see that Paul said, "God comforts the depressed."

I have also realized that it is so important for me to understand that God doesn't get some kind of perverted pleasure in watching His sweet children suffer. He is not a cosmic being that says, "Ok, now that you have decided to commit yourself to me to raise godly children, I am going to make your life just as hard for you as I can to punish you for seeking to be so godly."

God is a loving Father, and just as we want our children to be happy and to see their lives blessed, so that is His will. After all, He made a perfectly beautiful garden as a place for His first children to live. He walked in this garden looking for their companionship and willing to give His unconditional love.

During my quiet time this week, I noticed a phrase that was in the psalms several times,

Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne. Unfailing love and truth walk before you as attendants." Psalm 89:14

Another version says, "Lovingkindness and truth go before thee."

Lovingkindess goes wherever God goes.

He loves us and wants the best for us and He is the creator of happiness and joy. Yet, we are living in a very fallen world, in which most of the world, is in rebellion to God and His ways and as scripture says, the ruler of this world, Satan, is determined to devour us. Jesus said, "I will be with you always, even to the end of the world. He is with us, His lovingkindness is over us. 

So the first thing I need to realize and acknowledge is that God is good and that He wants me to experience joy and happiness. That scares some people. They feel that there is such a distance between us and God that it is presumptuous for us to celebrate God's goodness. Yet, David rightly said, "In His presence is fullness of joy and in his right hand, pleasures evermore!" Evermore, yet! Pleasures it says! God created us to enjoy beauty, to feel happy in being loved, to accomplish great things, to sing deeply in our hearts, to laugh heartily at jokes, to enjoy eating great feasts and to enjoy warm, fluffy covers as we snuggle up on a cold winter's night.

Yet, we are in a battle ground, where the booty is human allegiance and souls.

Especially as moms, we are in a battle for our children's hearts. A battle is difficult, hard, challenging, and relentless and often deadly. So, understanding the nature of the battle is helpful.

I can see that, in spite of the many seasons of depression and struggle, God had been faithful to me. He strengthened my hands, so to speak, in the midst of my trials and has increased my capacity to work. He stretched me and gave me more ability to be patient. He used these difficult times to mold me more into the image of Christ. The end result is, that little by little, I am becoming a person I always wanted to be, but it has happened in the midst of submitting to God's will, even in the midst of difficulties.

Even a couple of weeks ago, I was momentarily caught in a "many years old relationship" in which I had been rejected, sometimes just marginalized,  and was being rejected one more time-which heralded me back to many such memories of such rejection. I was amazed at how quickly the darkness descended.

Yet, I decided that I didn't need to stay in that place and rehearse all the past hurts. But, I turned my heart to God and asked Him for perspective and to show me how to be thankful for His presence, truth and reality in the midst of it. He immediately helped me to see how he had used this in my life to really show me what it really looked like to be loving.

He showed me how very grateful I had become for those in my life who really did love me and showed  love and loyalty to me. He reminded me how much I was able to understand other hurting women, because of my own past hurt, and how it had become a part of my ministry message to help others find a way out.  He gave me the freedom to understand that I could be happy and free, even if the unloving people in my life never changed--I was not responsible for their bad attitudes, but only to keep my own pure and free from bitterness.

I also was prompted by the Holy Spirit to redeem the day.

I am sure many in my life think that flowers, candles and cups of tea or mugs of coffee are frivolous or non-essential. But many of my years and days were so taxing, it was a sort of way for me to physically depict, "I will not give into darkness. I will beautify. I will create the life I need to go forward right now."

Sometimes it was a trip away to get out of the house to a park, or cafe, or for a hike. Other times it was a movie, an indoor tea time or whatever I needed to lift my spirits, so to speak, so that I could keep going forward.

We read that David encouraged himself in the Lord--He helped himself. And so as life-artists, we can create some beauty that will help us to move forward--to light a candle in our darkness.

What could have been a bad day for me, spent trying to figure out the unloving person who often changed our plans and rejected us,  and left us in the lurch, turned into a sweet memory with my children. We watched an episode of a lovely series online. (Larkrise to Candleford), made a hot berry crisp, lit candles and had a fun afternoon.

I wouldn't have asked for these experiences, these difficulties. I do not desire conflict and I pray for an easier, beautiful life, at times.

But because He is good, He used them for my benefit as I kept putting one foot in front of the other. It helped me to understand the Romans passage that says, "God causes all things to work together for good for those who are called according to His purpose."

The depressed moments of my life are the places He built my humility and my humanity--that I deeply needed someone to help, longed for compassion and understanding, and hungered for  love--that I was at the end of my rope. And He used the memories of these times,  to help me to have compassion for others who also sometimes walk in darkness.

The winters of life will indeed pass, and when spring comes, our roots will be deeper and our hearts will be stretched to love more and to appreciate the fact that we are never alone, but always, He sees and will be present with us every day.

The Secret of Creating Rest When Life Exhausts A Lady!

Ernest Ange Duez

Me, after a conference weekend! :)

Do you ever feel this way? What a silly question! Of course you do.

Today, I returned from the Texas conference with 3 national conferences, my book launch and all the rest of life. Today, I stayed in my jammies forever, did not unpack, and got very little accomplished. Sometimes rest is the most holy way to live life.

Why do we sometimes feel guilty when we rest? Monitoring my body, my emotions, my heart, my moods, my strength is something I have had to learn over the years. Often women feel guilty for stopping, but if a mom runs on empty for too long, she will be running on fumes and eventually crash and burn.

What an incredible weekend in Texas! Despite the snow and ice, over 600 moms made it to the hotel after all. I love the life, love and beauty that I always see at the mom's conferences each year. With kindred spirit mamas and friendship and time together over ideals, inspiration and the Word, it is as though the Lord Himself is knitting hearts together and building strength amongst us.

Eternity will be changed forever. Children's stories and legacy will be different because we paused in our lives to remember what His word says about the importance of family, discipleship, love and faith.

However, we return home and are reminded that all of mama-hood and life and marriage and home are filled with constant drain.

Sometimes, when we have piles of responsibility on our plate, we start to place a lot of energy, worry and fear into the "issues" of our lives, and we start to fret.  And then there are those weeks of illness or moving or company or, or, or

The last thing that seems productive when life is busy is to rest.

Yet, rest may very well be the most strategic thing to do if we have a busy, full and demanding life.

If we do not practice a habit of a restful life, we will end up with serious illness, exhaustion, bad attitudes and fist-shaking faith aimed heavenward.

 As I have said before, one of my most useful memory verses is, "Fretting leads only to evil doing." (Reflection of Psalm 37:8!)

God put Sabbath rest into the weeks of our lives with a purpose. It is not just a Sunday thing--it is a principle of stopping when life has drained too much.

I have found that when I believe and engage my heart in the goodness of God's character, and place into the file drawers of heaven all that I am carrying and worrying about, including the lists of all that I have to do,  I begin to find peace.

When I find myself depleted, I stop and take stock of what is going on in my life.  I place the worries and anxieties in heaven. I simplify my schedule. I plan a snack-style dinner, maybe crackers and cheese or fruit and toast, and break out the paper plates. I take a day off from regular commitments and plan to be still. The next day, I again put away normal commitments in order to attack the demanding tasks that are increasing my burden. But into my day I also plan simple pleasure--making time for several coffees or cups of tea, having a nap, watching a show or reading a magazine--which gives the little break I know I need.

When my children were little, on these burned-out days, I would do whatever would free me for just a time--bubbles would be brought out,  or a long bath with new bath toys, a Winnie the Pooh cartoon,  a trip to the frozen yogurt cafe, or a quick jaunt to the park or playground--I crafted a way I might have a break from the banter and demands.

Refueling just a little to find joy, create pleasure and celebrate life in the midst of all the demands helps fill my heart up just enough to begin seeing light at the end of my tunnel.

Slowly, I would begin see the miracles bubbling up ... slowly, surely; He, my Father, delights to provide when I take time to breathe, listen, and rest from the daily grind.

 A Martha heart, frenetically busy, won't see the miracles of God, as she is so busy living in the whirlwind of her own making and subsisting in her own meek provisions that she loses all hope and becomes a wretched nag.

The more exhausted I am with life, the more tense, grumpy and tight I become and it spills all over everyone else.

Finding myself at a juncture of exhaustion from giving all that I have (Thursday-Sunday) to the sweet, wonderful  mamas in my conferences has taught me to take a break, sleep, do something fun and distracting, and give margin to my weary body.

I find that somehow when I try to figure out all of the responsibilities and listen to the litany of the duties of next few months, which are huge, I am tempted to be overwhelmed.

Yet, from so many times like this in the past, I have learned a secret. My Prince Jesus comes to me at just the right time. Like the story of Sleeping Beauty, the prince comes not when she is searching the horizon, pounding her fists, running the floor,

Henry Maynell Rheam

But the prince comes when the princess is asleep, and doing nothing but resting.

Resting in Him, choosing peace and putting off responsibilities and recreating can be such grand medicine for my soul, that after choosing to rest and to invest in fun and love and ease of life, my strength is renewed and all life's issues can be faced with grace.

I know duty is bound to come, but I will face it with courage tomorrow  if I rest today, when my body demands it.

And so today, my plan is to go back to bed, to pace leisurely through the pathway of Monday, to sip and really taste my coffee, to just sit and listen to my sweet girls and Joel  and really look into their hearts and eyes; to call Clay at the office just to say "hi"--and remember that both he and they are also tired; to focus on the beauty of their light-filled eyes; to stay in comfy clothes all day-- listen to music, watch a fun movie, read and pray--and then maybe to rest again, because I know that while I am resting, my Prince is already coming to my rescue, because He has my back covered.

I am so much nicer when I am rested--and when I am nicer, I feel better about myself--which makes everyone happier.

Peace, be still, the Lord is near.

Holding Fast Through the Storms of Life: Preparing to Stand Strong

Jan Porcelles

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if

we do not grow weary."

Galatians 6:9

I think I watched too many romanticized movies or read too many novels when I was growing up. Somehow I came into motherhood, marriage and adult life expecting my existence to be rosy, sweet, loving, conflict-free, and Beaver-Cleverish.

"We will probably never have a fuss," I said to an older friend as I was entering into marriage. I just knew there would be no conflict! Didn't take long before I broke that expectation.

Often, when all four kids would have respiratory issues, ear infections and keep me sleepless for days at a time, I would be overwhelmed because I wasn't expecting it.

Church splits totally blew me out of the water because I had an expectation that all Christians would be loving and kind. The list goes on.

But since God's will for me was to grow up and grow stronger and wiser, instead of removing me from the conflicts, He walked me through them and I learned wisdom from lots of experiences--sometimes I learned by failing, sometimes I learned by just walking through them and realizing I was still alive at the other end.

But all the while, as Clay and I walked these challenging pathways, holding God's hand, our children were watching and learning and modeling our behavior. Not long ago, ...,

Sitting in the dark shadows of my small cozy library as the sun went behind the

mountain, found me and one of my older children talking quietly of struggles,

challenges, battles of life, and long term endurance. The deep friendship, shaped

over years of shared life, had knit our souls quite together.

I wasn't expecting this moment to be a memorable one. Just a normal moment in

the dusk of day, that shaped a soul-satisfying memory.

"Mama," my grown child tenderly whispered, "One of the greatest things you

have ever accomplished is to keep our family together through love, faith, laying

down your own life, and enduring with as much grace as Jesus could give you,

so that our lives could be whole, healthy and strong.

I know that only God will know the ways you have chosen to give and serve and forgive,  when you had to

make the choices to do so. But all of us kids have benefitted because you were

willing to weather the storms of life for us and hold us together."

Sometimes, I think mamas hold the whole world together. Their work is that

important.

Much of our lives as a family has been a battle through raging storms.

But, there are some amazing graces on this side of motherhood, when my four

children have reached adulthood---I don't have to go back through any of the

storms we barely weathered and much of my labor is behind me. And from all of

it, I see four healthy, strong, vibrant young adults who are also my beloved

friends.

Life is a journey from our present lives,  to the future home Jesus is preparing for

us to live in, with Him, for all eternity. Our own lives are filled with storms and

gales and the blowing winds of a fallen world. Many times, unexpected gales of

life threaten to undo us and overcome us. I hardly know of a family who isn't

suffering through some sort of illness, loss of job, relationship heartbreak,

conflict and difficulties.

An illusion that some people have about our family is that it has ever been easy

for us to hold fast to ideals. Through 17 moves (5 international); clinical asthma

with three of my children; adhd and ocd to extremes in two children; illnesses,

financial issues, church splits, rejection from family members for ideals--so many

storms that I was never trained for or ready to live through. Then there were the

fusses, messes, long hours and no support systems.And then the weird children

and unusual parents--we are all a study in contrasts and misfits.

All family travel into the eyes of life-storms. It is not an evidence of a bad family,

it is the reality of a fallen world, with rebellion and fallenness evident with every

dark cloud.

And yet, wanting to love God and serve Him through it all, was the glue that

held me, us, our own family, together when life threatened to tear all of us

apart.

It is not the grand, noble accomplishments that are the most

profoundly valuable to God. It is the unnoticed, the invisible

practicing of being faithful, courageous when no one else is looking,

that become the jewels of our faith in the eyes of God.

Accepting a loud, boisterous child and seeking to be patient and gentle over and

over again, when feelings threatened to erupt into frustration and anger.

For the rest of this blog article, find me writing at The Better Mom today--and also discussing Own Your Life with the Book Club there. 

To read more about Owning Your Life amidst all of these seasons, go HERE

There is Not Enough Time in LIfe to Waste It on Stress

Many years ago, our family left the city where we were living, all the stresses, duties, chores, tension of living in close quarters with too many sinful people, .....We left our life amongst the world of responsibility and the closer we drove into the cool, refreshing mountain air, away from traffic, noise, our hearts began to rest and breathe.We had piled in our car to drive up into the foothills of the Rocky Mountains to have an evening exploring the stars with beloved friends in the backyard of their mountain home that bordered the national forest. I have written the story in a chapter in Own Your Life.

The grandeur of that evening still lives in my heart. 

The spectacular views of the twinkling stars above contrasted with the sparkling city lights below, and viewing an amazing sight in the lens of a telescope looking into the heavens, gave me a different perspective of my life. I was so hyper-focused on the mundane, the immediate, the work of life, and yet there was so much more of beauty, light, life to be tasted, experience, enjoyed every day, but I could not see it because the false lights of the world and the noisy voices of others had drowned out the beauty of God.

Bible stories really are amazing. We identify with the characters that lived, we struggle with the same things, we have the same excuses.

"But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, 'Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.' But the Lord answered and said to her, 'Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her." -Luke 10:40-42

Sometimes I wonder, how did I get to this season of my life? I meant to enjoy each day, to remember each funny antic of my darling children, to memorize the golden moments that had made the love in our home so special to my heart.

 Did I remember to enjoy this day or was I in a hurry? Now it is gone.

 Much of my life was lived at such a pace, however, that I felt like I was always in a hurry to get some place or to complete a task. Perhaps in some ways, I was also trying to prove myself--to justify my decisions, to perform well. 

These overcommitted times turned me into more a drill sergeant  than a loving companion. How easy it is to focus on all of our "to do's" and to miss the magical moments of childhood and celebrating it together rather than gutting it out in frustration. How easy it is to focus on all of our "to do's" and to miss the magical moments of childhood and celebrating it together rather than gutting it out in frustration.

I am more aware than ever that life flies by. The most important investment I have made in my life is to seek to love deeply, when I took the time to do so. Learning this took time and a heart to learn to see what really mattered.

Loving my children and husband has required sacrificing my schedule and expectations in order to have time to listen, to be a friend, to share mutual joys and to cry together. Taking time to love well usually requires a simpler life that has the flexibility to cultivate "best friendships" with those are most dear. But, we live with such piles on our shoulders and feel so strongly the "Oughts" and "Must do's" that we work and work and work and exhaust ourselves and miss so much of life.

S-T-R-E-S-S!!!!!!

Statistics show that 88% of mothers feel severely stressed and overcome with anxiety due to poor time management and difficulty prioritizing. In a hectic world that is over-stimulated on our phones, computers, social media, and Starbucks addictions, are we losing sight of what is truly important in the midst of the balancing act? My mind ponders the fact that we were simply not designed to multitask to this extent. We often try so

to juggle one million ideals, and once we drop one of them, we feel defeated.

As mothers and wives, it is absolutely crucial that we learn to breath, relax, and focus in on what should be prioritized. Life is short and ideals are constantly interrupted, so be sure to focus on the most important. The people in our lives should be the priority. Do the priority people in your life (your children, your husband, your friends) feel that you are often distracted by all the things you do? Do they comment on how much they appreciate your ability to give full attention to them or do they complain that you are not listening?

Are you so stressed about making your home squeaky clean that you don't make time for game night or a stroll at sunset? Is your mind so preoccupied with getting back to the kitchen to clean all the dishes that you forget to actually enjoy dinner with your family? Did you fill your day with so many errands and "have-to's" that you ran out of energy to extend a kind word, an affectionate kiss and warm greeting to your husband? Are you so busy noticing the immature antics of your toddler or noisy boy or girl, that you have forgotten to really look at them and see the wonder of their unique personality and heart?

Indeed, we must learn to stop and smell the roses. God even made them smell like perfume, so that besides giving the vibrant reds to please our eyes, he gave them a fragrance that would engage our senses.

Psalm 90:10,12 tells us:

"As for our days, they contain 70 years or if due to strength, 80, but soon it is gone and will fly away. So teach us to number our days that we might present to you a heart of wisdom."

Worst of all, busyness is the neglect of our Father. He is so ready to give peace, to guide us in wisdom through His gentle voice, but if we do not still our souls, we are likely to get into a snit as Martha did. We create our own snits by refusing to take time to be comforted in the presence of our living, loving Father.

We must make time to sit at His feet so we don't get into a huff. If you are too busy, the consequences will be grumpiness, frustration, and missed opportunities.

What is causing you the most stress and depleting your life? What can you do about it?

Being women of wisdom means setting realistic goals so that we don't become drained. When we are constantly operating on a tank of gas that is almost empty, we have little in our hearts from which others may draw. It is so easy to listen to the voices of others and feel the guilt of performing up to other's expectations, instead of committing to the limitations and strengths of our own puzzle of life.

Make a list today of what you can reasonably accomplish and cut out those drainers that are unnecessary. What do you need to cut out? What do you need to add to your life to give your children more of a sense of love, peace and affection? Getting our priorities in order enables us to be better mothers, wives, friends, and women of God.

Today, each of has a choice--will we take time to celebrate the joys that God has provided? the beauty that He wants us to explore? The sweetness of intimacy that comes from investing heart time with those we love.

Take time to experience His pleasure. Remember:

"Taste and see that the Lord is good."

The chores and responsibilities will always be there, but the time to invest in the ones we love,

to look them in the eye,

to give an unexpected cheek kiss,

to laugh at the craziness of moments--

it will all be too soon  gone.

Today, own the moments of your life that you have been given--take them and celebrate them, because today will never come again.

Hedging your Marriage about to Keep it Strong

 

An unforgettable ride

Bumping along a rough country road, our view from the upper level of a double decker bus, was breath-taking in the late afternoon sun. Passing the ruins of empty convents and monasteries left as ghosts of a by-gone era brought a sense of mystery.  These had been the vibrant holding places for faith, sanctuary and community, but ordered destroyed by Henry the VIII. These scenes  allowed us to live into the history we had only read about in books. But amazing to us was something we had never before seen--rows and rows of hedges sometimes for miles without a break in the walls of greenery.

The 6 foot thick, 12 feet high walls of bushes cultivated over years, kept everything on the outside from getting in, while protecting everything within its borders. Cattle were kept inside, safe from wandering or the harm of attacking animals. Hedges guarded the borders of land, one family's home boundaries separated from another-a literal hedge of protection.

When we pulled into an ancient town, we peered out our window before disembarking and saw the most gorgeous flowering garden in view beside the bus. When we were down on the ground, the tall hedge blocked our view of the garden and we could no longer see what was inside.

Just as we began to pass by,  a small, wirey white-headed woman opened the front gate of the garden and came out into the road. I walked up to her and told her how lovely her garden appeared from our second story view on the bus.

"Oh, come in for a first hand look! I love to share its beauty."

Dozens of rose bushes in full bloom aglow with yellow, coral, reds of all shades, pink filled every corner of the garden. Tiny delicate blossoms of honey suckle, full sunflowers towering, a rainbow of mums clustered together filled the air with perfume as the autumn breeze swept gently over the plants.

"What is your secret to this splendid garden?"

"Honestly, I think the most profound but often invisible strength of my garden is the thick hedges that define the boundary of my garden. They protect all that is beautiful inside these walls from pests and predators that would destroy the beauty inside these walls.  Wind and storms do not sweep away the plants or diminish the leaves and growth, deer do not munch on the bulbs or eat the flowers down to the stubs, natural storms and threats at every point are kept at bay because of the protection of my hedges. Hedges protect the beauty, the growth, and give me a safe place where my plants can grow over time."

Marriage Needs to be protected, it needs to be hedged about by God's word, God's design so that there is accountability to living and choosing the right commitments and attitudes when temptations to compromise come. 

Recently, I was thinking about how this image is so clearly portrays how important hedges are to a strong marriage. The hedges of protection for my marriage have been holding my bond with Clay for many years.

There is a tall hedge of protection that has guarded my marriage for 33 years. This hedge is a wall of safety that has kept me from going outside its walls into the danger that lures one into the danger of the world, into the predators that would destroy marriage--adultery, a promise that perhaps happiness awaits outside the walls of marriage, there is a more perfect man--lover--somewhere else, vain imagination that promises happiness anywhere else, but provides only long term scars.

But my marriage hedge was built around our sacred relationship by vows made before God. The borders of our hedge, created by scripture itself, kept us moving within the boundaries of our marriage relationship, even when we would be tempted to discontent or a feeling of despair. Vows, scripture, God's desire and intention built the borders of our protective hedge.

"To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

Sincerely, if naively, I had made these vows and intended to keep them forever.

My vows became a hedge that protected me from the danger of leaving the walls of safety that held our commitment together.

I made a vow before friends, family and most importantly, before God--and I knew from scripture that God holds us to our vows.

I wanted my integrity to match my words.

"If a man makes a vow to the LORD, or takes an oath to bind himself with a binding obligation, he shall not violate his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth." Numbers 30:2

I also knew that God said, "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." Matthew 19: 6

All marriages are a journey from our selfish ways towards a more mature, holy, person, eventually useful to God as we learn to yield our rights, one day at a time.

All marriages are an alliance between two sinful, limited people and so stress is inevitable. Conflict rubs deeply against our grain as we run into the stress of differing personalities, immature relational habits, faults and flaws of every kind.

When selfishness, hurt feelings, disappointment, misunderstandings, arguments, disagreements came through the different seasons, there was a hedge surrounding our relationship that kept me inside, and held me from wandering outside into places of danger.

I had made a vow to God that in this trust, I would be faithful, I would be true. Even when I did not feel like being mature or forgiving or respectful, the promise made kept me inside the boundaries of marriage, and instructed me to practice faithfulness. Learning to be a team with Clay instead of letting my individualism define my life, kept me moving towards unity, family community, becoming a part of each other's history  and story, built together over many years of faithful endurance.

Because I knew that God held vows seriously, when I was tempted to want escape, the hedges of my knowledge that loyalty in my marriage was to be for Him, my God enthroned in heaven, who had heard my vows, it protected me from going astray. The hedge reminded me to stay within the strong walls of His design, to live within the limitation of my own place.

We need to build strong hedges of character around all of our sacred relationships. Hedges that protect, that allow growth over seasons within its walls, that give protection from the voices, dangers and temptations outside its walls, so that we have the opportunity to grow stronger over years and decades.

The world outside these holy hedges falsely tempts us to break our vows. The voices of the world are dangerous and destructive, and tell us that we each "deserve" to be happy, as though unfaithfulness or compromise can ever build a stronger or happier soul.

Accountability to these hedges of protection, markers of what holds us fast and strong, is essential to keep us going forward, living as servants, moving forward through difficult passages by faith.

To build anything great and strong requires time. But a hedge of strength, protecting, guarding the beauty inside is a safe-guard from destroying the sacred trust. Marriage is one of the most profound ways God designed for us so that we could slowly learn and develop in our own lives, the very character of Christ, learning to serve, love, and give ourselves as He  did for us.

When life brings unexpected twists and turns, God forgives. God gives grace. God heals when we put our lives and the consequences in his hands. I understand that our world and our lives are often hurt by consequence that are beyond our control.

The older I get, the more precious women I meet who did not have hedges of protection, walls of strength or easy circumstances to hold them safely inside the walls of marriage. God's grace, love and forgiveness abound to slowly bring healing. All of us find our value in His love and redemption and grace that covers us.

Yet in a generation that is afraid to hold up ideals, it is profoundly important that we understand the ideal of His heart as He created marriage was for us to strain towards sacrificial love, practicing godly character, learning the value of His own loyal love given to us.

As we have choices each day to honor Him, may each of us learn to Own Our Lives by Owning our Marriages and living within the hedges of protection that help us to grow more fully into maturity, and learning one step at a time just what His own sacrificial love toward us means.

Today, as God leads through His spirit and wisdom, Own Your Marriage, by living within the walls of protection that scripture gives us, so that we may have time to grow strong, time to beautify our story, time to leave a legacy of faithfulness for our children to follow.

I find that through the trials, the years of building team-ship by faith, the years of seeking to model love for the sake of wanting to leave a pattern for our cyhildren, forgiveness, loyalty and grace, the seeds of HIs faithful love have become a deep satisfaction to both of our souls. Our love is now a precious balm to both of our souls, as we look back and see how He was leading us to more contentment, deeper understanding of love through practicing living within the boundaries we had been given. In the end, we come to understand that seeking to follow His paths ultimately brings health, strength and deep fulfillment and satisfaction of having kept at the journey. Finishing well comes from running the race with the goal of serving Jesus as our life long motivation.

Today is the Day

 

Today, as you look around you, be intentional about seeing His fingertips. Still yourself to listen for the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit.

What would He say to you? What burdens do you need for Him to carry?

What bitterness or fear is robbing you this day of His peace, love and joy?

What voices of guilt or inadequacy are whispering negativity into your moments?

Do you see these children He formed in your womb for you as a taxing burden to your day or as a miracle?

You are complete in Him, precious to Him, strengthened by Him and He loves being your companion.

Today, is a day to invest in, to affirm to restore. Today is a the day to redeem.

Lenten Splendor Amidst Life in Oxford

Reading these beautiful words today gave a balm to my soul, a stopping of my distracted mind to watch the sun go down as I pondered how I might stop my life in the days ahead for the season ahead. As my various children have studied in the UK and had trips for ministry and friendship there, our family has developed a love for some of the lovely English churches we have attended. Sarah has so enjoyed a sweet community of believers right down the road from her house in Oxford. Enter her world and find her words a solace today.

I didn’t even wear a coat for the walk to my coffee shop today. The air is honey-toned and soft. The sky is so vividly blue it flashes in, arresting as flame through the windows of the lecture hall in the morning, drawing eye and heart into its promising warmth. Springtime is a dream blooming up at the edge of winter today. Daffodils huddle under the woven black of the bare, tangled tree limbs. The earth broods, damp, close to waking. The first snowdrops star the dark carpets under the trees. And birdsong wakes me early in the morning.

The life of this freshened day, the light, the searing blue, draws my sight up and outward constantly. From work, from screen, from dreams, my consciousness is drawn away from the clamor of my student life to a great, silent glory. I am challenged to attention by this beauty. The color of it is a kind of demand upon my eyes, a request I fully answer with my wholly given attention. Who could refuse an invitation to such magnificence?

Funny then, that Shrove Tuesday, the day in the church year when believers around the world prepare to abstain in some way from earthy luxury, should fall amidst such splendor. No rain, or dampened skies, no dim, dark hours are present this afternoon to match the self-denial so associated with the opening of Lent. Tomorrow, I’ll walk up to the altar in my church, confess my mortality, and receive the mark of ashes on my forehead. I’ll remember my sin. I’ll try to fast in some way for forty whole days. Incongruous, it might seem at first, to begin this Lenten season of self-denial just as springtime wakens in all its opulence.

But as I contemplate the coming season this afternoon, perched in my coffee shop window seat, I find in the gem-like world out the panes a perfect frame as I prepare my heart to repent. I think the sunlight, the searing blue, the quickened life, the fragile flowers are a fit and lovely setting to this opening of Lent. Because, though the practice of Lent is repentance and self-denial, repentance is simply the way by which I rid myself of the lesser things that distract me from their source. A great glory, greater even than the golden day out this window, dwells in the inmost room of my heart. The morning star of the universe has taken up residence in my soul, and Lent is the season in which I remember the single, blazing fact of him there, and journey back from all that draws my sight from his glory.

Lent is, I think, the answer of the human soul to the challenge and invitation of God’s love. Lent is the call to turn my face from the clamor of a thousand distractions, to the Beauty in which I have my being.

Yes, it is a season of denial. But the denial is of the non-essential things that make it a genuine difficulty for me to live in the presence of God’s essential Love. To confess is to name what hinders God’s life in me. Habits of sin or distraction, of hatred nurtured, of insecurity kept. To fast is to free myself from the niggling loves that lessen my response to the great one. To wait, to watch, to keep a season of reflection, is to grow quiet enough to meet the Easter event with clarified, adequate, renewed sight that greets the gift of the risen Christ in fully ripened joy.

Lent is a return, to the heart of all that matters most, the single Matter of Christ apart from whom nothing matters at all.

My Lenten practices this year? To give up some food or drink (yet to be decided). To try, as much as possible, to keep company with the wider Church by keeping a partial fast on Fridays and setting aside an extra space for prayer. Simple, small things really, little tests to jolt me awake to God.

The harder thing? A space of determined, daily, kept quiet in which technology is banned and prayer or silence is practiced from early evening until morning prayers the following day. It’s easy, in the busy days I lead, to collapse into my chair at the end of the day and open the computer. To scan, to click, to fritter an hour or two away on a miniseries or a few random articles. None of it evil, of course. But it means that I go to sleep with a busy brain and waken with an unquiet mind. I reach for my iPhone as I rise, wondering what deadline I’ve missed, or news I need to know. Before I’ve even been awake ten minutes, my mind is in a whirl from which it is difficult to emerge for even a brief time of Scripture and prayer. Lectures await. Essays scream to be written. And I, already amidst a whirlwind, feel that God looms somewhere beyond the whiz of it all, but I can’t really catch his eye.

Well, I plan to let him catch my eye in this season of quiet and catch it good.

I begin with an awareness of God’s full givenness to me, a grace that allows me to repent in loving response rather than guilt. Guilt is easy for me. I’m a perfectionist. It’s funny; the more I am drawn into the rhythms of worship here in Oxford, forms and prayers that answer some of the deepest hungers of my heart for shape, rhythm, physical expression of worship, the deeper my sense of inadequacy grows. I often find myself kneeling in an aching, angsty desire to somehow give or be more than I am in response to the God I encounter in worship. I strain, I grieve with the desire to offer more of myself in response to the Love given so freely to me. Much of my prayer boils down to a simple repetition, “I wish I could offer more.” A holy desire, perhaps, but one that, in a perfectionist heart like mine, can turn my eyes to my own faults rather than the Love that heals them.

But a few nights ago, I went to compline at Magdalen College. In deep shadow, amidst plain-chanted hymns to end the day, I looked to the altar where candles burned round a simple cross. Behind the altar loomed a larger than life picture of a sorrowing Christ, cross on his shoulder, garbed in brown, down on one knee as he bore the weight of the world’s sin and grief. Kneeling there in the lyrical, candlelit darkness, with the hymns almost whispered in a tender, gentle awe, I was aware of Christ’s givenness. Of the love poured without stint or measure. Of the grace that is with me now, regardless of what I offer.

I did not need to give, because all Love was already given to me. All that was needed was my joy in the fact.

Lent is, I think, the nourishment of joy.

It’s the honing of sight, the hushing of mind, so that Love can make his presence potently known.

If you’ve never practiced Lent before, well, join the club. Neither have I, at least to this extent. But I’m excited. Eager, like a child standing at the cusp of a journey. I’ve eaten my required stack of Shrove Tuesday pancakes (which, in England, are really crepes dressed with lemon and sugar). I’ve feasted at formal hall to end the evening. I’ve watched the day close with the knowledge that tomorrow a great quieting and centering of soul and self begins. Tomorrow I will speak these words:

Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return. Turn away from sin and be faithful to Christ.

Christ, in whom dust is formed back into living love.

Join me.

Sarah Clarkson  ThoroughlyAlive.com

God Who Faithfully Whispers His Message to My Beloved Child

 

My sweet, wonderful adult daughter Joy, will always be "Little Joy" to me--even when she is 60. But to everyone else, in the past few years, she has become known as Joyness, the Brave.

She is my treasure, the child who came as an answer to prayer when I was already in my forties. It just didn't seem like our family was complete without another girl. I would love to hold on to her and keep her near--wish I had been able to keep her small. But God has whispered into my heart that I am merely a steward, a temporary guardian angel to take care of His children trusted into my care,  for Him, and then to release them into the world, so that they might live their own story for Him.

Amidst the first Isis attacks, and the threat of English journalists being the next victims, I did have to release her into His hands,  amidst the first part of this story of terror, believing that He would be in England when she got there. Release has been a constant practice through all the years of my life. it never comes easy, but it is always what He asks--even as He asked Abraham to release his only son, Isaac.

But now comes the rest of the story. God did meet her there. Whispering a truth that was her own about His power over all of history, over all the moments. And so, Joy wrote an article today, that sums up a part of what God did for her in making this truth--that His ways are unshakeable, that He who holds the stars, holds her--and holds every second of history. Here is a part of her story--and the ways He taught her some of the lessons she would need for her own life.

I give you Joy, and her story!

This is the church I am going to be a part of.

The words crossed my mind as we exited, organ music ringing in the rafters. It is an architectural mix of cathedral and California with its high ceilings and frosted windows letting in the coastal sun. After returning from Oxford, and having been gone from California for nearly 9 months, this place felt like a crossroads of my experience of church in England and my current abode. What a rejuvenation and relief to have a church.

My friend and I shuffle out of the church. My soul gently descending from the power of the last hymn.

Thou of life the fountain art,

Freely let me take of Thee;

Spring Thou up within my heart;

Rise to all eternity.

 The last lines of the hymn stick with me. I think every church service plays out a small version of the drama of history. Rejoicing, repenting, praying, receiving. Members before me have lived and died by this rhythm. Saints and martyrs and sinners alike have tread this path of life through grace. And beneath all the ancient rhythms is the tight held hope of coming glory. The cornerstone of the risen Christ.

I look around and laugh to myself as I look at those around me. This church most certainly has a target audience: Students from my university, of the academic bent. I suppose I fit in... sort of. But we are here to love and serve the Lord together.

This is the church I am a part of.

 After curry bowls and conversations, Elena and I return to the important task of nail painting. Finally, I sit down to begin my work for the evening, but before, I look at the news. My stomach drops. 21 Christians dead. grief. fear. anger. prayer.

This is the church that I am a part of.

 If I allow myself, these stories seem distant and strange. I could separate them from myself, not feel their heaviness in my spirit. But I cannot separate. Their God is my God. As they pray, rejoice, repent and believe, so do I. Together, we rejoice in love and renewal. Together we sorrow in persecution. Together, we wait in readiness for Christ.

 So we have the prophetic word made more sure, to which you do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star arises in your hearts. (2 Peter 1:19)

This is the church I am a part of.

 I went to Ireland last fall. While we were there, I was able to see the Book of Kells. It is the oldest gospel manuscript in Ireland, magnificently illuminated with designs so beautiful one could hardly attribute them to human hands. The Book of Kells came from a time when the monasteries of Ireland, England and Scotland were frequently pillaged and burned by the Vikings. The manuscripts themselves had traveled a great deal due to the fact that, if I recall the exhibit correctly, the abbey at which they were kept was burned down something like 17 times in 50 years. But in that destruction, the monks and scribes preserved and created the beautiful manuscript. The worst happened, but their response was to create one of the most beautiful manuscripts of scripture which, more than a thousand years later, encouraged my own faith.

This is church I am a part of.

 Lent begins on Wednesday. Lent is a time of penitence, waiting, withdrawing distractions that we might love God and one another better. Like Advent, in Lent we practice and rehearse the tension of life on earth: awaiting the redemption of our souls. And the redemption of our souls and the restoration of all things is no small hope. Not only that, the church is depicted in Revelation as being gloriously redeemed, all wounds healed, all wounds made beautiful.

This is the church I am a part of.

 The world is not redeemed yet, but what unites me with the church I attend, the church I mourn with, and the church that has gone before me, is the pulsing, thriving hope of glory. Our faith is based on the belief that God will make all things new. Therefore, I do not interact with the world based in fear, but in fearsome hope of the renewal of all things. When I encounter darkness, I want to do as the monks and scribes who created the Book of Kells; I want to bring light to darkness, beauty to ugliness, to live in a way that acknowledges the coming hope we truly have. We are the church that, as Jesus said, the gates of hell will not overcome.

Let us live with fearless love knowing God will redeem all.

This is the church I am a part of.

When Darkness Threatens Your Soul, Look Up

“Mama, the world seems like a very scary place, and it makes me feel insecure and powerless. I am afraid I will be so lonely without friends and family to face the difficulties ahead.”

Joy, my daughter, was a senior in college, and was leaving the next day for a semester of study in Oxford, England. Yet, the day we were packing, the second American journalist had his head cut off by ISIS displayed everywhere on international media. Friends sent messages and news stories with photos to Joy, wondering if she had seen the news...

News storms the sensibilities of our hearts daily. A man burned alive in front of the cameras.

Coptic Christians having their heads chopped off, ready for all of us to see on facebook and publicized everywhere on the news.

Fragile young girls being trafficked and forced to prostitution.

The economy falling apart.  Immorality declining at an alarming rate. Wars, earthquakes, diseases, all a common part of our daily news.

What is happening in our world? What is our future? How can we make this a secure place for our children and promise them a future with hope.

It is a natural response to be afraid, to be angry, to feel abused or downcast. There is nothing wrong about feeling fearful. Emotions are neutral. Emotions are a part of the make up of the body that God gave to us to respond to life.

Somehow it comforted me to realize that when Jesus was tortured and crucified, Hebrews tells us, "He despised the shame." (Hebrews 12:2)

He was the one who cried at the death of Lazurus. He understands our grief and our fear.

But it is what we do with these emotions that will determine if we become victims or victors in the circumstances of our lives.

Fear not or do not be afraid is used around 110 times in scripture. Why? Because God knew that we would be tempted to be afraid often in our lives and that the darkness of this world would threaten our inner peace and security.

We know that Satan, knowing his time is short, is throwing out his wrath.

Yet, Jesus told us that in this world, we would have tribulation. He left no doubt about what challenges our lives would hold.

He who faced crucifixion, a brutal killing from his enemies, has never asked us to live in faith in a way that he has not already faced.--And yet he encouraged us to "Take courage!"  As He took courage and went to the cross amidst the greatest evil.

Embrace courage, sow courage, live by faith into the courage the Holy Spirit provides.

What if we are getting closer to the end of the world, a time when we know that all evil and wickedness will be at its pinnacle?

What if God chose for you to be born in this time, because He thought you worthy to stand strong for Him in one of the most difficult times in history? What if you were called to be a brave and courageous testimony to your children of how to live generously, faithfully, boldly in hard times, so that they would have the courage to live boldly in their lifetime?

What if this is the time given to you to exercise your faith so that He might be glorified in your world, through your faithfulness, in your lifetime?

Each of us is given one day at a time to be faithful--that is this day. It is time to put away pettiness, selfishness, mediocrity, conformity. This day is the day you have been given to love generously, to live joyfully, to bring light into darkness, to forgive generously, to show compassion and a servant heart. There is no better time than now.

My own precious Joy had to face her own fears before she went to England in the fall. And now circumstances are even worse.

But these stressful moments when we are with our children, become the training grounds for them to grow strong in spiritual muscle and personal faith.

The times we whisper the reality of God into their fears, into their challenges and tell them they are chosen by God to live in this time--that they are called to be His witness, because He has trusted them with "these times."

I wrote about this story in Own Your Life because it was occurring as I finished my book.  I had a test before me with my sweet daughter, of my own philosophy that I had been writing about--and how I would live into it.

As she prepared  to go to Oxford to be a student, the day before she was to leave, the first British person was threatened to be murdered in front of television cameras. Her friends suggested surely England would go to war while she was there,. "Do you really think you should go to the UK right now? What if they wage war? What if you are separated from your family in another world war?"

My final words to her, as we nestled together in the chill mountain air on our lawn, looking up at the stars were,

"The God who holds the stars, holds you." (You may read the rest of my story with Joy, as I am sharing at Proverbs 31, where I wrote about this  today. Tyndale is giving away 10 copies of Own Your Life on Proverbs 31.)

But, what about you?

Do you know that God is supreme, sovereign above all wickedness and He never loses control?

He is the light over all the universe. Psalm 139 tells us, even the darkness is not dark to Him.

He knew all of our days, when there was not one of them--and He planned to be with us each day, to strengthen us, to guide us, to help us live faithfully in hard times. Those who have lost their lives for their testimony of faithfulness have entered into God's presence and they have finished their course and now are at peace.

May our precious Lord give each of us strength, faithfulness, wisdom and love with the courage to live our lives well, because we have this day to live for His glory.

I would love to know what you do to strengthen yourself in the Lord, and how you keep your heart centered. I would love to pray for you in your struggles. I did pray for each of you tonight, that you would know how precious your heart is to God--whatever your fears, whatever your pain. He is with you.

Celebrating the Miracle of My Moments Today: Innocence over Evil

Carl Larsson One of my favorite artists

(Don't you just love the red, contrasted with the green and blue?Reminds me of my lovelies when they were small.)

"Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing.... Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away."

Ann Voskamp 1000 Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You  Are

Evil is lurking and tempting in a fury around every corner. Yet, the celebration of innocence, light, goodness dispels the darkness. Taking time to celebrate life builds deep patterns of goodness, the sacredness of life, the beauty of love into the brains and souls of our children. We must take time to worship by giving time to notice and celebrate what matters.

Today, my plan was to not get up early, to not work a lot, to avoid feeling like I had to meet deadlines or other's expectations.

When I surveyed my soul upon awakening, I saw a few alarming issues bubbling there and knew that there were steps to take to make myself better. The first thing I did was to call a friend who I always look to for lifting me up. I know that because she walks with the Lord every day, she holds ideals in her heart, she lives by integrity--as well as she can manage. From experience, I know that I will be blessed just by being with her. It never fails. The excellent self she has become by practicing holiness for so many years causes her to be a source of wisdom, strength, comfort, life, love, encouragement to all who are with her.

Everyone should try to find a friend who has this kind of influence and everyone of us should seek to be this kind of friend.

I started out with candles, hot tea and music. Reading out of two different devotionals lifted my thoughts. "They Found the Secret" and "Christ Plays in 10,000 Places" were at the top of my list today. And reading some of Daniel. I pondered how the 3 companions to Daniel must have felt being bound and thrown into a fire that was so hot, it killed the soldiers who put them there. This seemed very similar to what happened to the person being burned to death last week. Some things have not changed much.

My friend served me a salad and wisdom--"You need a brain cleanse and I know just what book would encourage you."

Putting my stressful and draining issues into a proper place helped to settle some questions in my soul. A coffee on the way home at a favorite local cafe as I met Joel. A long  sunset walk and a warm talk in the chill of the winter, sitting in rocking chairs wool coats around our shivering bodies, in the  setting sun, satisfied more holes in my heart. Salmon, salad for dinner, probably a short show on Netflix with exactly 5 dark chocolate salted almonds, (my current diet quota) while lying on the couch will be fun.  My day will include a hot bath with salts tonight before I go to bed.

Restoring can look different for everyone. I look for art, music, books, stories, people who feed my soul, and whose life serves to feed my mind and heart long after I have left them. And so, I love how God has crafted sweet Ann Voskamp, (one of my soul-feeders),  into such an artist. Her words feed and deeply touch my dry places. I am so grateful she leans her ear toward His voice and then faithfully paints word pictures that express my heart. If you haven't bought her book, you must be sure to do so. Here is where you may order it.

This season, I am teaching myself to linger.

It is not natural for me, one who is and has been in a hurry for so long. But in the hurry, I have missed the miracles of moments.

Now, however, since so many are away from home, pursuing their own adventures, my every day, every phone call, every skype with my children is a gift. They are vibrant, strong, idealistic, godly, loving, fun and wonderful. They still make messes and even sin once in a while, but oh, what life and beauty permeates my home and hours with their ever-presence. But when they give me a whole day, I am blessed. Only one is full-time home right now, Joel, and he is just on loan, and so I am trying to groom myself to listen, to look, to love and to really see the miracle of my son before me. They all seem to come and go but always come back home and to me, for a "linger."

I learned this lesson of celebrating the ordinary moments many years ago on the occasion of a birthday.

On Joy's fifth birthday, I planned a party that I thought I would please her. Too much effort to clean the house so that the moms of the kids I invited would see an orderly house, kept me from focussing on my precious birthday child. I was Martha-ing about putting out cake, balloons, favors, making finger sandwiches, planning what I thought she would like--all the while looking at the day from the grid my adult eyes.

The children came and in just two hours, they fought over the toys, spilled the red punch on another little girl's favorite dress, one little boy threw a toy across the room and hit another little girl in the head and made her cry. It was a memory of messes, crying, friction, stress and Joy was unhappy the whole time, feeling that she was trying to please me by staying at the party.

When the all the guests finally left, I heard a "pound, pound, pound of feet running across our deck. I walked out of our kitchen door and glanced into the afternoon shadows playing tag with the fading sun over our mountain, and there was sweet Joy.

Dressed in her old, slightly stained and torn favorite ballet suit, she was running, giggling across the deck with a bubble wand at her head level with bubbles flying out behind her. I stopped and sat on our picnic bench and just gazed at her as the sun went down. For an hour she played and ran and delighted in the beauty of her bubble parade. I took it in, I cherished the picture in my mind, and chastised myself for missing the glory of her beauty and youth in the busyness of my tirades to fulfill my expectations of the party I thought would make her happy.

"Oh, Mommy!" she exclaimed, "This is my favorite time of my whole day! I am having sooooooooo much fun. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful present."

She climbed into my lap with milk mustache sprinkled with  cupcake crumbles, sticky bubble juice on her hair, and snuggled up with a happy sigh.

And so, I melted into her little body, breathing in the atmosphere of her pure-hearted, innocent love. I did then cherish the moment and took the time to take a soul photograph whose imprint will be there forever.

Tomorrow, again, I will live in every moment, celebrate all the sweet fellowship that is right in front of me, no matter how many dishes used or messes are made, or whatever noise is created through the moments of my day. All of it will be precious and priceless as I redeem the moments for memories to visit in my next season when they will all be gone.

This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice--and act of our will--we will rejoice and be glad in it.

For a little more refreshment, I have written about the art of life in Own Your Life.