This and that and the training of future disciples!

Seven a.m. found us at the airport this morning only to find out that our flight to Orlando will be an hour late.  We left our house at 5 a.m. and sweet Joel took his turn to transport us. A generous offer to send Joy and Nate to the national competition if I would speak was irresistible  as I take advantage of every training opportunity for my children that I can. Training brings skill, confidence, poise and grace to children as they learn, experience by experience how to build their skills at relating to life and to people. Some have asked me how I can allow my children to go into the world to dangerous places--New York, Boston, overseas, etc. I think that your goals and philosophy will determine so much of what you do and practice. Clay and I talked hours and hours about our ideals for our children. Our ultimate goal was to teach and model to our children what is looked like for them to walk with God. Our goal wasn't just to teach them morality, or to indoctrinate them spiritually, but to cultivate in them a heart for God, a heart for His word, and to slowly give them independence so that they would be able to make good choices and have convictions.

We often talked about "he who is faithful with small things will be faithful in much." And for us this meant, little by little, giving them opportunities to walk with God, to make decisions; to practice being responsible with us, so that as we walked alongside them, we could help them, pick them up, teach them to learn from mistakes while they were still at home, and then always say, "God has a work for you to do in your lifetime and in this world. Your personal integrity will be the platform from which you will give your messages. If you are faithful at home, we will help you to expand your borders."

Jesus said of his disciples, "Father, I do not ask you to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one." Jesus sent his disciples into the world to bring His light and redemption and love. How can we as parents have a different goal? Am I ever worried? Of course I am. it is a dangerous world out there. But having prayed for them and told them all their lives that they were to be kingdom bearers in the world--that they would be God's hands and feet and mouth to lost people, then we had to support them, pray for them and be accountable to them as God began to give them dreams and to open doors for them.

Clay and I did decide that our children needed a transitional year between high school graduation and college or moving away. Each lived at home, worked, built faithfulness and proved their character. This year, we developed opportunities for the kids to expand their borders and to spread their wings. We stay face to face and very active in our children's lives--and we did send them to lots of training places with other strong believers (Masterworks, Summit Ministries, World View academy and others Clay attended with the boys). But these were baby steps toward owning their own lives. Each child is different, but the basis of loving discipleship and relationship leadership was always a big part of our lives. However, most of all, we depended on the Lord, prayed a lot and asked His Holy Spirit to work. He is always our confidence. He is our strength and the one we went to in unsure times.

I think that when parents try to hold on to their children as they get older and make them totally dependant on them, they are inhibiting them in their own adult life and in their walk with the Lord. There is a  balance and each child is different. But, that is why training and foundations are so important. We taught scripture in the market place of life. High control and protection and training when they were little as we helped them to establish foundations. Then, little by little walking along beside them to let them see what ministry looked like--talkging, talking, talking every step of the way as Jesus did.

That is why we made each of our children speak or sing or serve or perform in some way every year of our mom's conferences. We wanted them to perceive that they had something to say, something to give, something to do--in helping even those who were in our audiences. Yesterday, Joel and I were talking and he said, "It is funny how all of us feel pretty secure speaking or singing in front of people. You all always said we needed to be message makers and we needed to have experience doing it. I remember one year being so terrified to get up in front of the crowd. But you and Dad prayed and encouraged me through it and now I see that all of us kids perceive ourselves as people with a message. Training and experience made the difference."

It is fun to finally be at the stage where often our children reflect wisdom from their own hearts--to see that they have owned the messages we had to repeat over and over and over again. So that is why I am excited about this week. Another opportunity to be beside my children, to encourage and instruct them and support  them as they are rubbing shoulders with those outside of their box. Clay has already talked about what he is going to do with our kids who are still home this week--taking them alone to breakfast to talk with them about their ideals and goals. So we will both have time to pour into our kids and to further prepare them to move ahead confidently into their own arenas. Joy and Nate will be in monologues competitions, singing, acting, modeling. Why? Because they have an interest in these areas. When we found out that 98 per cent consume media and only two percent inform the values of media, we could see that it was an arena in which the Lord would call some to be a different kind of model, to bring different values. It is a touch arena, and there will be obstacles for our children along the way, but we will be beside them, praying every day, and talking, talking, talking. But, in obedience to Christ, we want and long for them to have a heart of compassion for the lost. We do not want them to have pharisee hearts--that they are somehow better than others who have fallen--but we want them to have pure hearts, filled with compassion for the lost and broken. We want them to, by God's grace, take His light and redemption to every corner of the earth in confidence that He is with them and will sustain them and guide them because of their own walk with God.

Please pray for us this week. Please pray for many to come to our conferences as we so long to encourage, help and train precious moms, so that they, too, will grow in their vision about how to train, love and prepare their children to be mature disciples for Christ. Whole Heart Ministries depends on the Lord for our financial stability and it has been our conferences that have helped us to do the work we have been able to do, in order to support our staff and to fund the publishing of our books and materials. We appreciate every bit of help you give to us to be able to reach more families. We so appreciate your prayers. May our wonderful Lord bless and encourage you for a most productive and blessed 2009  Love, and blessings to you all! Sally

Ride 'em Cowboy!

Christmas morning at a traditional breakfast buffet

Is anyone tired yet? I am tired but blissfully so. (Only a few teary, over-whelmed moments--but then isn't that a part of the tension of family life and then trusting the Lord?) Since our boys came back, I feel like I am riding on a wild stallion and holding on for dear life. Joel once jokingly said, "You know our family is like one of those loud Jewish intellectual families  like in Fiddler on the Roof who had an opinion on everything and has to discuss everything from the mundane to the sublime. Or maybe it is a fiery Irish family with abundance of spunk or a rousing, dancing Greek family, or Italians eating feasts chattering and, Oh, well, Mom, you get the picture!"  (and so Joel reflected his love and value for the international friends he keeps in touch with from living overseas and was trying to get at the essence of our family in the midst of it.) It wears me out just to contemplate it--but I did know what he meant--there is not much quiet or calm about us when we are all together!

Perhaps this loud image also grew the whole week long as Nate practiced his drums, Joel was composing piano tunes for an hour or two a day in the main area on my childhood piano and Nate and Joy were practicing their performance songs to tape tracks--over and over and over. (all while the dog barked innermitantly at the fox outside and and growled and wrestled with the boys.

What he says is true! It has been so peaceful with our two girls and Clay and me and all girl hormones in our home the past 4 months. But, since the boys came home, we have laughed and talked and eaten and eaten and eaten, and heard funny stories about New York City  and Nashville and it seems everyone is in competition to say one more thing. Last night as I tucked Joy into bed, she commented, "Our family can be overwhelming, Mom!" I think that for the first time in her life, the last few months, she hasn't had as much competition for talking and now she remembers what the whole shabang is like!

I was reflecting on how my children have changed very little since they were young. Somehow I thought that my training would transform them into something supernatural. But though, all have matured, all are very much the same and have the same personality issues and antics. The mix of all of us together is dramatic--never a dull moment.Clay, the best gift giver and introverted and the most and maybe only organized one, who also holds on for dear life in the midst of so much energy expressed;Sarah is still her sweet, loving, artistic, gentle self, but roused and quite strong and articulate when ideals are discussed; Joel, reflective and friendly with his head up in the clouds dreaming but always ready to defend any intellectual idea to the end, while absent minded in details; Nate extroverted and talkative, extremely quick witted and quick worded,  always on the go, always out of the box and depended upon to have a different view; and Joy, fun, talkative, outgoing and competitive--trying to be sure she is keeping up with everyone and so she has become quite strong for a 13 year old as her peers are years older. (In three days, I will accompany Joy and Nate to another National competition for actors, singers, dancers and models--Joy has the bug and is stretching herself in lots of areas--even have Joy and Nate singing a duet, pop song and all that practice for 13 competitions and 200 head shots and comp cards and a talk I will be giving at the conference, all are being prepared in the midst of sugar cookies and movies and me finishing my book! Orlando, here we come!)

All of us are far from perfect--our flaws would be obvious to everyone--but we are all very Clarkson--our own special traditions and weird personalities.  I have the feeling if anyone could see into our home to see what we are really like, they would be surprised. We really do talk and discuss and idealize almost every waking moment--and then we still make attempts to do mundane things like dishes, pay bills, straighten the house again! But still go on talking, ....., .......,

Our own special recipe of life defines us in many ways. (Shepherd's meal and devotional, brunch out on Christmas morning, always books and books and talks about books, stockings--the favorite thing, with always a gift card to a favorite book and record shop, sparkling grape juice, chocolate covered pretzels, potato soup, cold raspberry soup, brisket and more.)It is these small things that have anchored us together. I have a sense that my days with all of us together are quickly coming to a close--all of my children have spread their wings and traveled and worked in other large cities and countries and all have become dreamers--they all have a deep conviction that God wants them to make their mark on the world. I wouldn't have it any other way, but it is stretching.

My main goal over the years was to give them a heart for the Lord and then to have a heart for taking His messages out into the world to bring His light to bear and to extend His kingdom values and messages through God's calling on their lives. Sometimes a messy journey of details and obstacle courses, but still, the ideals in our home fly back and forth. I didn't know what Clay and I were building when we passionately shared devotions with them every day and read hero stories about people in history who had used their lives to bless others; and then taking them with us all over the world to speak and inspire others in our conferences.

But, now they all think big, love people from all over the world, want to be composers, writers, actors and singers. But, in the end I wouldn't have it any other way. I am thankful they have chosen big arenas to explore and to invest in--and I still don't know how it will all turn out. (For sure, just didn't know how expensive it would be! Imagine that all of my children have ended up idealists! Wonder where they got it?!!) Nor did I picture them moving all over the world. But life is short , so even if we live far apart for now,  I know I will get more time with them in heaven. And after all, I am still dreaming about how the Lord might still use Clay and me to help more families, so as long as there are dreams, there is still life and the hope that our lives can make a difference.

So, after 10 days of loving and playing and eating and discussing, we will all go our own ways again and life will settle down to a dull roar instead of a thundering wind of activity and life. I couldn't keep this pace all the time--but I am so very grateful to be in this place where I see their souls straining toward the Life He has called them to.

I think I will go think all about it , as I go to wash dishes one more time!

Peace of the Lord in the midst of your own messes and love and life!

Sally

PS I am really excited about the conferences coming up and spend quite a bit of time thinking about all God has taught me this year to share! Be sure to sign up soon as late registration will kick in for many conferences. It sure helps us to plan when you register early as we have lots of notebooks and flights and reservations and meals to arrange. We will be picking two more winners of the $50 coupons for December for those who advertise it to friends, so be sure to let us know if you are doing that and you can be in the drawing for December. (write Jennice)  Look above--top right--to connect to info about the conference closest to you. Also, for the California conference, flights should be booked to  Orange County, John Wayne airport as it is just around the block from the hotel.)

Oh, Come let us adore Him

“Oh, come let us adore Him.”

One evening this week, I was enjoying the sweet fellowship of friends at a Christmas gathering. I was captivated by a tiny, three week old baby girl, wrapped in red velvet and sleeping soundly in her mother’s arms.

Musing on her delicate little hands, and the tiny lips that opened slightly with each deep, sleepy breath, I was struck by her vulnerability. She was totally dependent on her mother for her very life. Cries of hunger would be satisfied by this mother’s milk. Unaware of her need for protection, clothing, and the necessities of life, this little baby’s well being would depend on the benevolence of loving parents. Her very intelligence, moral fiber and vision for life would be shaped by the love bestowed, the integrity lived out and the words treasured and spoken in the moments and experience of life. Everything she would become was at the hands of two young adults.

These thoughts led me to the birth of Jesus. The one who commanded the myriads of stars, galaxies, earthquakes and storms and who could number the hairs of each person born, subjected himself to a fallen world, by placing himself in the hands of frail, fallible human beings. That God would condescend to become a baby, dependent, vulnerable and powerless brought amazement to my heart. Total humility expressed in this miraculous birth in which the God of the universe was willing to bow his being into the most delicate of forms in order to eventually redeem this world back to himself—to become the conqueror of all evil and powers of destruction the world would hold.

I have pondered this for several days. What humility he pictured for us, coming as a normal baby to live amongst the earthy animals, in the presence of the stars and world he had made and entering into the youthful passion of newly-weds, ready to parent the one who would become the redeemer of mankind.  Mixing deity and humanity in the midst and subjecting him to the form of a family, spoke to me of the holy design. Even the son of God would be cared for and prepared to become a savior in the context of family life.

How exalted a position we have, that like Mary and Joseph, we receive into our homes, those dependant children whose souls and lives will be lived with eternal consequences. Home is a place where holy destiny can be embraced. The birthplace was humble, but the consequences of his family life were noble and the outcome redeeming. I realized that the power of Christ was not in material possessions, fame or prowess, but within the integrity of his very being—lived out in a very normal neighborhood but in the supernatural power that is expressed through the Holy Spirit living in integrity amongst the community of men.

I pray that His humility will give us confidence to live humbly. That the integrity of His heart will shape our words and actions and that our family will be that place of redemption from which others may always find His peace, power and love.

Clay and I wish all of you and your precious families the best of all that our savior brings to us through the wonderful celebration of his miraculous birth. May all of you experience His peace that passes understanding, His love from which we can never be separated and His hope that fuels each of our days with strength until we see Him face to face. Merry, and blessed Christmas to you and yours!

Let there be love

"If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging symbol. But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love." "Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sin." I Peter 4:8

As I get older, I find I am more and more about giving grace and extending love than about my rules and ideals. Perhaps I see my sin nature more clearly and appreciate His love and forgiveness more. I fail and fall below my own standards so often and yet, he still loves me, answers my prayers, meets with me when I seek Him out and now I know that I can't do without Him. When I was younger, I had more stamina to push toward standards and ideals and make goals and try, by my own strength, to accomplis so much. Now, my plate has never been fuller and my responsibilities are greater, but I know that without His divine intervention, my life would be in shambles.

I have been a part of trying to help a couple of different groups of women in different parts of the United States through a split. Both were groups that were formed on ideals and that existed for the benefit and help of women--both were Christian groups. Yet, because of differences and accusations, the groups split up. As I have reflected on this, the thought occurred that some day all of these women will stand face to face with Jesus--before His throne--in the presence of His holiness. When we are there, we, like all of the others recorded in scripture will be saying, "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God almighty." All of the petty sins and selfishness that we held on to so tightly in this world will be an embarrassment. All the ways we gossiped or were critical or unforgiving or harsh will be a cause for shame in light of His amazing, sacrificial, humble love poured out sacrificially on our behalf.

As I have thought about what present I want to give Jesus this year for His birthday, I have thought that perhaps He would be pleased with love from my heart. But not just love for Him, but generous, spilling over, lavish love shown to all precious people he has brought into my life. I have resolved to love those who  don't especially love me. I want to send special notes of love to those I appreciate. I want to cover any tension in my family this Christmas with love and grace--for the sake of my great appreciation for His unconditional love.

God hates divorce because it is  a breaking of the bonds of love promised by a husband and wife. Love is most precious when it is given freely to one who does not deserve it. Peter, who denied Jesus at the most important moment of history, knows of this love, because He received it from Christ. When He denied Jesus, he felt the shame, but Jesus came to him and restored him to fellowship and said, "Peter, you feel my sheep." He validated his confidence in Peter, as worthy of being a shepherd of his people, even after Peter sinned. And so when Peter says, "Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sin," he says it from personal experience--Jesus' love covered a multitude--a whole bunch- of his sin and shortcomings. It is impossible to exercise love and hold bitterness or a critical attitude at the same time--it will be one or the other.

Divorce is not just in marriage--it can be between a parent and a child; a friend and a friend, between siblings, in a church, in a women's group. Divorce is the natural result of living by the flesh and living with an "eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" sort of mentality--you hurt me, you don't deserve my love; you are wrong type of heart attitudes.

But love, unconditional love, that says, "No matter what, I am committed to you. I will love you. I will be loyal to you. I will accept you and I will be generous to you, not because you deserve it, but because I didn't deserve it and Jesus still loved me. I will love you for His sake. I will love you because His spirit fills me and when I am obedient to Him, I must love."

So, this Christmas, let us please Him. Let us forgive those who have wronged us. Let us put aside bitterness and malice and choose love. Let us cover over the flaws of those in our lives with His love, because it is the best gift we have to offer him. One of His last admonitions to his disciples was, "This is my commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this that a man lay down his life for his friend."

Contention is natural. Love is supernatural. Is there a child who has offended you and been ungrateful? Love that child. Has your husband neglected you and been ungracious? Love that spouse. Have your parents rejected you or been petty? Love those parents. Has a friend been unfaithful or catty? Love that friend. Is there anyone in your heart from whom you are separated? Love that person. It is your opportunity to be healed, your opportunity to please Jesus. Love is a commitment that brings freedom, healing and joy.

And remember above all, that He loves you. Nothing can separate you from His love. (Romans 8 ) Jesus loves you and proved it by His humble, sacrificial love, shown even in washing the very feet of his disciples on the night he was going to be killed--always loving, always encouraging, always giving life. He loves you in the same humble, compassionate, encouraging way.

But beyond that, the last words of his High Priestly prayer shows us God's intention for all of us, "I have made your name (God's name)  known and will make it known, so that the love with which you have loved me, Oh God, may be in them (his disciples--in us)  and I in them." God, the Father, loves you with an everlasting love. We love Him because He first loved us! May His heart be pleased with our gift of love this year as we celebrate his birthday with grace, overwhelming joy and peace.

Take a little time for You!

This little picture was taken at a pub right outside of Beatrix Potter's home on a rainy day of our trip to England. We were soaked to the bone and needed a little fortitude in order to face the rain again! (note the sweet hands of Sarah, Joy, and Phyllis, my sweet friend.)

Today I awakened to a house full of people, all hungry and giggly and wound up for the day. We have our friends, the Hamby's of Lamplighter Books staying with us and I had promised some blueberry, apple, cinnamon pancakes for them and for their daughter and husband. All of us had been to see Scrooge last night and stayed up till almost midnight talking about the events and happenings of our Sunday together. After breakfast, we saw them off to a meeting they must attend.

But a conversation I had as I was cooking and my sweet friend was drinking coffee spurred some thoughts in my mind. I realized that many of my friends who are older and have passed through the aes of their younger children and are now living in grace with their present season eventually had to compromise some of their ideals and expectations of life in order to live it well. Often we develop a noose around our neck that isn't of the Lord and that causes unnecessary critical attitudes, or feelings of inadequacy or stress. Walking in freedom and reality in the midst of the demands of daily life is the only way to live healthily. I am thankful for my fun talk with my sweet friend this morning as we reflected together on our lives and what the Lord had taught us amidst putting orange juice on the table and stirring pancake batter.

I had big plans for this day--working 6 hours on my book that must be turned in soon--and getting Joy ready for an all day practice for a competition this coming Saturday; preparing for a 2 day meeting that Clay and I have with Focus on the Family tomorrow; planning treats and dinner for Joel's homecoming Wednesday; and figuring out how to fit in washing clothes, homeschooling, getting everyone fed and cared for--(the Hamby's leave tomorrow) and other mundane things.

But as I began to move into the day, I felt a little weariness creeping over me. This is only the second week of December, so I knew that from my experience of my last million years, that if I don't take a little time to regroup and refresh today, I will be totally spent by the time Nathan gets home late next week.

So, about an hour ago, I shifted my expectations today to realistically accomplish what is reasonable and won't wear me out. I lowered my goals and determined to take some pressure off and decided that I will take at least two hours to have fun and regroup. (My children need this today, too!) So, we will have a quick lunch with friends because we need buddy time, I am not going to write this morning, but just do restful, fun things with Joy--who is exhausted from 6 performances since last week; and I think we will have take out or go out to dinner tonight instead of me cooking the big dinner I had planned.

I have had to learn that no one else in the world will be responsible for my over-all well being. I have a husband and children who love me, but I am responsible for my rest, my quiet time, my eating and exercise and my chill time. I do have countless emails in my inbox that I would love to answer, and there are tasks calling my name around the house, but I have become the queen of turning my head away and sticking to my priorities. I have found that there will be just as many things screaming for my attention tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. But today, I know that my body and mind need a little rest and that when I am a steward of my body, I am protecting my walk with the Lord. I am always simplifying and evaluating if something is worth the effort--(I do think that making things beautiful and special during the holidays are worth the effort as it builds the taste and values and work ethic and ministry skills of my children--but all in its season. But it may not be worth it to answer one more phone call or one more email--as this will certainly steal from my children and husband who need me today.

Each of us has a different puzzle and different personality and we must accept our limitations within our own story and be comfortable being ourselves. I see so many moms seeking to live up to other's expectations and ideals and then burning out in the process. I have high work times and rest times.

If we don't eventually make peace with our own life circumstances, then we are in danger of cultivating a heart of bitterness or whining. But if we become the conductors of our own life symphonies and live within our own melody of life, we will last longer more gracefully with the God of grace who leads us.

Take time to regroup today--the rest of December is still coming and you will be the better for it!

Now for a few answers to emails: (and please know that I read every one and would so like to answer every one--but this month I have let my emails mount up by hundreds in taking care of my family--so if I don't get to yours, write me again--as It is not on purpose that I ignore you, but they get buried in the recesses of my computer! So sorry! I still have to finish Joy well!)

Joel finally got approved for a loan for his classes last week and is on his way home to record an album. He is hoping to sell his album and sing at some events and churches to help make enough money for his housing this spring. Thanks so much for praying for Him. God is working quite a testimony in His life through the journey of trusting Him and I see maturity taking place. He still doesn't have roomies or housing for Boston, so we are still all praying for something to work out there. I have noticed that the Lord provides the manna for the day, but not usually ahead of time!

As to devotional books I have enjoyed: I love my Celtic Daily Prayer book as it has three scripture readings every day and a little commentary. I keep a Daily Light by my quiet time chair, too. Other times I use Kay Arthur's Bible studies (did Isaiah last year and thinking about doing Hebrews this spring) and I also keep a list of spiritual books by my bedside for quiet times in the mornings. (Eugene Peterson, Phillip Yancy, Peter Kreeft, Nancy Leigh Demoss and a few other authors have fed my soul in the last year.)

As to advent resources, we have used a lot over the years. I am now using Handel's Messiah family advent reader with Joy. Also, the family has been using a sweet one about  advents based on  famous old  hymns and Sarah  introduced me to God With  Us for December readings--also excellent.

It would be so much fun for me to have so many of you right here, face to face in front of the fireplace for a relaxed visit. Eternity will be glorious! Grace and peace today!

Celebrating Life and bringing in His glory!

"Home is the resort of love, of joy, of peace, of plenty, Where supporting and supported, polish'd friends, And dear relations mingle into bliss!" James Thompson

"Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness; Come before Him with joyful singing. Know that He is God Himself." Psalm 100 1-3a

I think that when the Lord leads me to another book contract, I am the one most blessed when I have to discipline myself to write it. I am in the midst of writing a book about cultivating joy in the midst of disappointments and I am learning so much.

One thing I have been struck with lately is that God mentions gladness and joy over and over again--especially in His presence. There are also many references to shouts of joy and joyful singing and all in all, a jolly good time. I also read that a joyful heart is good medicine and am becoming aware of the idea that when I am filled with God's Spirit and obedient to Him, I will walk with joy as a natural overflow of His presence in my life. Light and love and beauty and gladness will spill forth from my life as well as from my heart and deeds.

I just can't imagine how wonderful the celebration banquet is going to be in His presence when we are at the marriage supper of the bride of Christ to the Lamb of God. I see so clearly that God created food and color and music and love and when we bring these into the moments of life, we are showing His reality as much as when we teach theology. I have always celebrated Christmas with our children--especially because it is such a wonderful time and way to bring all sorts of people into our home. It also provided the anchors that make the hearts of the Clarksons tied together. Both of my boys have said they just can't wait to be "home" and they just can't wait to be together. I think that even as love covers a multitude of sin, as Peter so adeptly said, celebration covers a multitude of flaws.

I am a flawed individual, but my heart is full of love and somehow, celebration of life has made what I have to offer to my children and to the Lord palatable. Joy, however, is something we have to cultivate. It is out of a heart of thanksgiving and acknowledging God. It is out of a mom heart--that says, "I am so blessed to have you as my children, to have this husband, this home and to have this God who will be faithful to us."

But, I also love what God has allowed me to know about all of these things. Celebrating that knowledge by bringing others into my home to share my love and His and all of the wonderful ways He has led my path, brings joy to our home. Here's just a few shots from these wonderful friends and groups in my home this week. And I am off this morning to put another quiche into the oven for a brunch with friends who will also be working side by side with us to encourage the moms who will attend the Colorado conference. These precious ones deserve and need to be spoiled, so we will celebrate this morning!

Have a wonderful day and serve the Lord with gladness!

A glam shot! My two sweet girls--Sarah and Joy--are in a wonderful company of Christian actors who are performing Scrooge 12 of 14 nights in a row and so each day they have to have to roll their hair into ringlets. They are having so much fun together.

Community inspires life

  

I awakened to this when I opened my eyes!

I received such sweet letters and emails the past week as many of you shared about your hearts that were lonely. I wrote my article last week, because I have felt it myself --having moved 17 times in our marriage and know what it is like to long for a friend who understands you, prays with you, and also to have your children have such friends. There is a Biblical need and longing for community. Yet, in our day, community is not local as it used to be. It has to be intentionally built and cultivated.

In our days of faith-challenging changes of moral foundations and volatile uncertainties, in an era of confusion when biblical motherhood is often disdained or dismissed as irrelevant or unimportant in a post-modern culture, we are ripe for a movement of the Holy Spirit. There is need for an intentional movement of godly women to hold forth the ideals, to inspire confidence, strength, faith and good works and in the midst, to develop deep friendships--as I believe that God created women to be the wisdom bringers, gate-keepers and civilizers of culture through relationship.

I have a wonderful friend who is such a joy to me. She is 68, and yet her desire for bringing life and beauty and love to women so burns in her heart that she is almost always alive, energetic and engaged whenever I see her. She has made her home a haven, so that just to be inside her rooms is a pleasure. Soothing colors on her walls, pictures, small relics and treasures through out her home that bespeaks of the many places she has lived and traveled, her love of the Lord, her value for family. And always a candle lit, soft music playing, and a pot of fresh tea ready in case someone might want to come by for a few minutes of fellowship. There is a lovely little room in her basement, just ready for someone who needs to get away--two single beds waiting for the next guest.

Every year for the past 15 years, she opens her home to young moms once a week. Her "cupa" is shared, sweet fellowship for the first few minutes, prayer is offered, scripture is opened and taught and discussed as the Basic tenets of the Biblical design of women and mothers is studied and discussed. Literally hundreds of women have passed through her doors in these studies, including me. Each week, women leave with hope, conviction, ideas, love and renewed and refreshed spirits.

Where there are real relationships and real love and heartfelt devotion to the Lord, life takes place. God built us for relationship. God built us for love and friendship and intimacy--the desire to be known and still loved. When we as women experience this kind of relationship and warmth, our whole demeanor is different, our emotional and spiritual cups are filled and we become better at everything--walking with God, loving our children and husbands, bringing beauty in our homes and in reaching out with God's grace to others. It is what we were designed to do.

One of the reasons I have come to disdain television is that it replicates real life--but it is not real life--there are virtual friends, virtual stories, entertainment is sought to fill the cavernous holes and vacuums in the soul--but it replaces real relationships, real love, real ministry, real service and only placates and dulls the soul. Television replaces visiting and sharing friendship, book discussions, creativity--cooking, painting, sewing, writing letters, articles and books, reading aloud, playing games, having groups and families in the home and so we live an isolated existence. Consequently, Christians have not had an impact on culture--but media has. It has defined the moral values and character of this current generation. But it has not satisfied their souls. Real, hand to hand, voice to voice friendship and intimacy is what is longed for--hoped for.

That is why we must figure out a way in the midst of our busy-ness to recreate community and fellowship. We need to connect heart strings from one to the other--and have a helping hand for each other in the midst of our burdens and our joys. I do see an amazing thing taking place amongst many beautiful blogs and websites where women are connected to each other. I applaud the talented women who do such a great job at bringing these loving messages and beauty to each other all over the world. At this time in history, we are able to connect to women all over the world in a moment's time, to love and encourage.

Yet, we all need to know that there is someone  nearby who is real, to touch, talk to, cry with--to know. Yet, I have learned that often, if this kind of fellowship was going to happen, I would need to be the one who would initiate it. God was an initiator--he came to give, he healed and blessed and taught and sacrificed. It was what we were also made to do. I travel so much that I cannot always do as much  locally as I would like, but I have come to really appreciate the encouragement I receive when I open my home from so many sweet, like-minded women.

The first Tuesday evenings of each month is something I look forward to with growing excitement each month. About 35-40 women gather in my home and we meet over snacks, fellowship, the word and prayer.This is our third year running.  This month, we will all bring our favorite Christmas appetizers or deserts and a favorite mug or tea cup. Christmas traditions will be shared and a devotion about the beauty of the soul and faith of Mary will be given, as together we reflect on the strategic role a mother played in the life of Christ.

Later in the week, I will have a luncheon for a sweet group of women who will help me with the Mom's conference here in Colorado Springs. Just meeting for lunch and working on a ministry project together will bring our hearts closer together. I will also have a Christmas tea for a few friends and some friends of my daughters as it is an anchor each year in our lives for the past 15 years. We will have a Christmas open house and invite people we know and people we don't know very well into our home for snacks and goodies, and to get to know some better. There are a couple of more dinners and pot lucks that my children have asked us to have for their various groups.

This will mean much more work for all of us, more cleaning, more cooking, more food shopping and preparation and more giving of all of us. And the goal this year is to do it on a strict budget--but I have found that others don't mind throwing their own snack or salad into the mix.  This in the midst of the deadline of my book, my boys coming home for Christmas (yeah!!!!); ministry meetings for Clay and me and out of town company, and so I take a deep breath, knowing it will be quite busy. Not to mention the family Christmas traditions.

Yet, it is a commitment we have made--it is work we have decided ahead of time to embrace as a defense against the isolation and separation--the thing Satan would love to accomplish--the isolation and separation of people from loving and connecting and serving one another.

I think that when women have this kind of fellowship, they will hold to ideals, grow stronger, and continue to cultivate vision. Spiritual fellowship is essential to spiritual growth and hope. This is why Clay and I started our Mom's conferences many years ago--to give moms a chance to be in a room full of hundreds of others who celebrate these ideals. This is why I write my books, based on Biblical principles, with Bible study questions at the ends of each chapter, so that moms will gather in their own homes and do the same thing--experience that amazing fellowship and life that takes place when women take time to open their hearts together. It is why so many of you open your homes and teach small groups in your churches.

It is not about being a great teacher or hostess, but about having a heart to encourage. Anyone can light a candle, invite moms over and open the word of God over a chapter of a book. Then, somehow, the Lord take over and friendship and fellowship grows. I know of so many moms who say, "I can't add another thing to my already over-burdened life. Yet, I really believe that most women cannot afford not to reach out as it is a life-line to encouragement and hope. It also brings life, love and hope to a family.

Sometimes my house is clean and ready, and sometimes people have to come into my little piles--sometimes there is china and real food  and sometimes there are paper plates and pizza. But my goal is love and friendship, not to be Martha Stewart. Some seasons, especially with small children, just a little group was all I could muster--especially during those ear-infected, asthma years--but we still made some attempts every year as a foundational commitment. Some seasons, I have been weary, wondering if anyone would every recipricate--but now, I have grown in this area, slowly, knowing that whether anyone recipricates is not the goal--just having that environment where life is and love is helps my soul.

This is where my passion has grown to start the Mom Heart Ministry--to establish spiritual groups of women all over the world who can stand strong together. To train leaders to start groups and supervise and encourage the moms who will also lead.To write devotional resources so that moms can have guidance in knowing how to study the Bible, a website that is geared to this spiritual fellowship and helps and messages and God's design and help.

I do look so forward to seeing what God will do at our Mom Heart meetings before our conferences this year and at our conferences. I hope that there will continue to be an army of women, committed to the well being of their children's spiritual life, education and training; marriages repaired, husbands love and supported, homes a place of life and beauty and grace. What a privilege to be a part of what God designed us to be and to know that by our faithfulness in this, we are going to see history changed as we live out what we are designed to do. I look so forward to seeing many of you there. But for those who can't come, know that our desire is to have a place for you to come hear the messages and to be encouraged with your own friends right where you are in your own homes, as we seek ways to make our conferences and materials available to your groups right where you are. (Of course it will only happen at a snail's pace if Clay and I have to get it all going in the midst of what is already on our plate--but we are counting on the Lord raising up a team of women--writers, administrators, web whizzes, and prayer warriors who will by God's grace be a part of what we think He is already doing!)

So, in the midst of the many activities this month, make time for fellowship, love, friendship and prayer together. When you model this to your children, they will become lovers of people instead of  lovers of things; they will perceive themselves as people who have something to give and serve because they have had to do so in your home. They will learn to have compassion on the downhearted and lost because you made your home a place of refuge for all who would come there. These are the essential things that will fill their souls and satisfy their hearts. They, like us, were made for love and purpose not toys and things and entertainment. They were made to be a part of something bigger than themselves--they learn it by you being involved in others' lives and in your giving of yourselves as a family.

It doesn't have to start with something big. I could only do one activity a month when my children were little. But God grew my capacity over the years. He stretched me, he trained me, showed me how to be more efficient. Maybe when I grow up a little more, I will do it all better and give more easily. But it has become such an area of passion for me--to see the connection of real hearts to each other--real support--real friendships even as Jesus shared with His disciples. Have a wonderful week and gather with at least one person or family and celebrate friendship. I prayed for all of you this morning.Peace.

Sally Sally@wholeheart.org

Whole Heart Ministries

PS Be sure to connect to the conference links above at the top right column. Today we will be picking the November winners for the $50 coupon. If you advertise the conferences in December, you will also be entered into the drawing for 2 more $50 coupons to be applied to a conference, book tables or the book store. (Write to Jennice@wholeheart.org if you put an announcement on an email list, facebook, blog or other list!) We want to reach as many sweet moms as possible with the encouragement of our speakers and  great fellowship! Thanks for your help.

A Sacrifice of Thanksgiving: An attribute that is caught when Taught Mentoring Monday

"What shall I render to the Lord for all of His benefits toward me? To thee I will offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving, And call upon the name of the Lord, Oh, may it be in the presence of all His people; Praise the Lord!"

Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday of the year. It is a time of family gathering, great food, and cozy times, but also a time of nurturing a thankful heart.

In general, I do not think thankfulness is a very natural trait. Most often, it seems to me, that people who are grateful are those who have been taught to be thankful--to acknowledge a kindness, to be trained to give words of graciousness to those who have blessed us. Training a child to be thankful is of utmost importance. It is a delightful experience to be around a child who has been trained to thankfulness. "Thank you for  having me over. Thank you for that wonderful meal. Thank you for the ride. Thank you for the lovely gift." It makes me want to keep giving to that child or friend or family.

I recently had a very humbling experience. A sweet mom who is overflowing with pregnancy, and already has 3 wee children in her home,  wrote an email to me and said, "I appreciate so much what you do by having all the women into your home every month and so before I have my baby in three weeks, I want to bring you two meals on two different days, and I want to have your house cleaned for you! I am so thankful for all the ways you have blessed me and taught me and encouraged me. So I didn't just want to say thanks. I wanted to show thanks to your family."

When she showed up at the door, she had a wonderful dinner, banana bread for the next morning for breakfast, bags of little extras, and an apology that she was 15 minutes late! As she walked in, Sarah saw how very pregnant she was and when she left, she commented, "Mom, we should be serving her a meal! She is the one who needs some rest and help. But it almost always seems that the busier people are, the more they are able to give. What a sweet mom."

It was a blessing to me in more ways than I can tell. I do Bible studies and fun nights in my home because I love to do them and I love the precious moms who come. But having her thank me, not just with words, but actions, deeply ministered to me.  It really did mean a lot to me to know that these evenings had meant so much to this precious mom. She took time out of her busy schedule to sacrifice by blessing me. Her sacrifice not only filled our tummies and made it easier from me to have my Bible study (after her friend cleaned my house) but it really touched my heart and gave me a reason to keep doing this.

In the old testament, a sacrifice of thanksgiving was given by people who were to make unleavened cakes and unleavened wafers. It was something given as a praise and thanksgiving to God--acknowledging all that He was and all that He had done. A sacrifice of praise was to take time, intention and forethought.

Similarly, I think that it is of great importance to take time to thank God. But I have also thought that even as the mom greatly pleased me by serving me, that there is no better way to show God our thanks. I have pondered what that meant for Clay and me and the kids not just to thank God but to thank Him with our deeds as well. Slowly God has given me some fun ideas that have helped me feel direction for our family in helping nurture this area.

I think that one of the reasons David is such a picture of a man after God's own heart, was that he was constantly writing songs about God's goodness and faithfulness and thanking Him and praising Him. He believed in God's goodness, even in the midst of a very difficult life. But even more, as a king, He led all of the people in giving God the glory due His name. He called all of his people to sing, play instruments, worship and dance before God--he did it with all of His heart- because of a humble and overflowing heart that truly loved and treasured God. Practical applications to thanksgiving for our children give them patterns that they will practice the rest of their lives.

I must admit that most of my prayers going heavenward are petitions, requests. Yet, I am learning that thanksgiving is an exercise of my character that eventually influences my heart. When I look at my life with thankful eyes, it lifts my heart to see how truly blessed I am and makes all the other issues of my life seem less important. Thanksgiving not only pleases God, but it releases in me all the issues of my life. It gives me a power to be able to believe Him for great things. It causes my soul to soar because it puts me heavenward instead of earthbound. I don't think it is possible to have a truly thankful heart  and to acknowledge God's sovereignty over all situations and a bitter heart at the same time--it is one or the other. God would have us be thankful.

On the occasion of my 50th birthday, Sarah made me a lovely gold framed list of 50 attributes that she appreciated about me. I have it in my bedroom and cherish it. Though I live with my shortcomings and weaknesses every day, her verbalizing to me what she loved about me has encouraged me again and again. For every year of my life, I am going to write down something I really am thankful for about the Lord. All of us are doing this as a practice this year. I did it this morning and find that by seeing all of His attributes and provisions and naming them, I am in a whole different frame of mind.

Slowly I am compiling a list of people that I am particularly thankful for. They will receive email cards telling them how much I love and appreciate them. The girls had an idea, too, of each of us picking 2 people who we think are under-appreciated and surprise them with something that will tell them we love them. It has been a growing area in our lives. Yet, over the years, we have noticed that it is those people who write thank you notes, who email life-giving words, who take the time to thank us who seem especially wonderful, because they have learned to be initiators. This area of initiating is a definite sign of good character. I have tried to teach my children that they need to have an internal sense of duty that tells them what is the right thing to do. Practicing doing the right things just because it is right to do helps them to be confident and a blessing, a pattern to follow, for the rest of their lives.

Finally, leaving thank yous on beds when we travel,  surprise notes on pillows at nights, thank you texts on phones, email cards, are the ways that are easily added to busy lives. Giving my girls pretty thank you stationary in their stockings at Christmas, and especially, taking the time to be thankful for them has ended up blessing me, because they have become my best encouragers and most thankful.

Choosing to be thankful and learning to be content will fill your soul with peace and kindness and in the end, you will be happier and more thankful. It is a choice, a habit of practice, but will indeed create in you a more beautiful soul. Practicing what you want to be and what God wants you to be, just because it is right, will always end up blessing you in the end.

May I end by saying how thankful I am for so many of you--you work tirelessly every day, you are going to serve your family and children this week, you are faithful even when no one knows it--but you are indeed of the best and I pray that you will know that all those hours of cooking and loving this week are going deep in the hearts of your children. Have a happy, happy thanksgiving!

Sally

Loneliness--a curse or a gift?

I am sitting sequestered today in a living room of a time share in Breckenridge, Co. attempting to write 5 chapters of my new book about joy. I would rather be outside where it is beautiful or downtown in a coffee shop or perusing one of the darling gift stores or at the Christmas baking party of one of my friends--where my daughters are--but here I am, stuck in this little room, alone, again, working, again! And ironically, today, I am supposed to be writing about joy in the difficulties of life! I think the Lord has a sense of humor. Loneliness has been a constant companion for me for many years. It causes me to ache inside sometimes. It brings tears to my eyes and a longing for community.  I long for like-minded kindred spirits who also like me! I loved what C.S. Lewis said, "We read to know we are not alone." I love having close, intimate friends, who "get" me.Those who know all about me and know my quirks and petty sins, and still get me. I also love being with like-minded friends who are passionate about the Lord, about ministry, about the Word and about family--who have ideals like mine, but who also love to have fun and celebrate life--my close friend must be someone who understands grace and giving grace--who has learned it by going around the track of life and by being humbles. There are not, in my intimate life, many who fit this longing and who also initiate to me--not many initiate to me. I also long for friends who both know and love my older children as well as Joy--as they are all--my older and younger family- a part of my heart and life.

But alas, so much of my life, I feel so alone, invisible in my needs to the world of hundreds of people who buzz in and out of my life.  Part of it is because there is very little contact with family or emotional support. My children have not had the privilege of knowing the closeness of family and consequently, we are most often alone on holidays. Part of it is because I am also busy and because I hold ideals that are in a minority in this culture in this day at this time. But I thought if I have felt it so often and for so many years, you might, too, and I wanted you to know you are not unusual or alone--there are many of us like you!

I think there are many who feel this loneliness. In a world of isolationism-breakdown of families for every reason--moving all over the world and being separated physically, divorce, differing ideals, and just plain lack of commitment. there is an isolation in neighborhoods and no longer the simple community of people who hold your values and your faith. Add to that, isolation in church--where the paradigm is often a value for working moms (all of us work, don't we?)  not always a value for those who stay at home with their children.

Yet, it has been this very loneliness that has driven me to the Lord. He has heard me over and over again and He has used this to open my heart to others who have needs, he has used it to humble me in my point of need so that I have more compassion for those who are also separated from support systems. As  a matter of fact, most of what I write about has come from my struggles. This particular puzzle of my life, which I have a choice to live out in grace and faith or to live in the darkness of depression, has been for me the story of a God who loves me and shows me life and grace and light in the midst. It is choosing to seek Him and to hold on to his hand and to believe in His friendship that I have found strength and a way to keep going.

I got a letter from a friend last night who lives far away from me (most of my oldest and closest friends live far away) who told me she doesn't really have any friends left who identify with her. Just this morning, I talked with another friend, who has been involved in our ministry for years, who was telling me the same thing. I could tell you of almost 30 women, all who are leaders and helping speaking or writing or ministering to many, many women who feel the same way. As they say, it is lonely at the top. These precious women all feel that they give and give and give, but rarely receive much personal affirmation or validation. I have learned over the years that most people just assume these women don't need more encouragement or love--Perhaps it is like th 10 blind men who are healed but only one turns to thank Jesus. All of these women would seem like the type who would have lots of friends and lots of support systems, and yet they are lonely because so few initiate to them and then in their weariness they are tempted to think that their work or lives do not matter and that no one loves them. It is just what happened to Elijah and sometime I will have the time to write what I have been learning about him and through him.

I also know so many young moms who struggle with loneliness in their own homes with their little children. One idealistic young mom cried with me last week saying, "I just went upstairs for 3 minutes to put up laundry and when I came downstairs, my 3 year old had used a permanent marker to draw all over the naked body of my 18 month old and then drawn on my favorite blouse and the carpet. I thought to myself, "Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life? Take care of these children? Stay home by myself and do this day in and day out? Am I not more talented than this? Will I never have a bigger life?

I giggled at her story, but personally knew her feelings. She is so cute and fun and intelligent--just has her ideals about family life and children in a circle of friends who don't understand her or support her.

But, I just wanted you to know today, that you are not alone.God indeed loves you so much and is so very proud of your bringing life and beauty into your homes. He knows your struggles. He sees you and your needs to be loved and appreciated and filled up. He wants you to know that he likes fun and pleasures. Just this morning, I read, in His presence is fullness of joy, and in His right hand, pleasures forevermore. Just think about that--pleasures evermore! Psalm 30:5

He wants us to have pleasure. He made laughter and joy and food and color and music and hand holding and cuddling babies and puppies because he wants us to enjoy life. Consider with me, if you will, who would like for you to feel lonely? God or Satan? Who would just love for you to believe that your efforts aren't appreciated and don't matter? Satan, of course, would love for you to believe the lies!

So, if I could, I would have you all into my little living room right now for tea and chocolate. But as it is, I am going to pray for you. You must be a conductor of your own symphony and make a plan to place some pleasure, times with people, outings away from the messy home and sequestering  of too many sinful children and moms in one small place--going to a park--for an ice cream--or anywhere will change your mood--just don't stay and stew where you are--

As for me, I am going to work like a crazy woman for 3 more hours and then go to a cafe this afternoon for a cup of soup and a little walk on the mountain. I am going to call at least two friends--far away--and tell them I love them. I know I will go downhill in my feelings if I don't make a plan.

I am going to plan some fun Christmas outings with me and my girls and my friends who are in town later today--because I know that if I cultivate friendships and memories, I will myself be blessed. It is just the truth that most people I know have to initiate to others and most often, their initiation will not be reciprocated, but if they wait until someone else initiates, they might be waiting forever and not get to have fun--so you plan fun and bless others who are lonely.

As I am writing and researching my book on joy, I am finding that one has to resolve to grab joy, every day, even in the midst of life--to see beauty, to choose to dance, to reach out because He reaches out and He is living through us, to also believe in heaven and hope in future fulfillment and to hold God's hand and receive His love by faith and to keep sowing seeds of love in others so that eventually the seeds will grow fruit.

We must tightly hold on to the ideal of community and fight for it, as it is in the community of loving believers where the reality of God is most felt. I have been so blessed with a couple of friends who love me and reach out to me because they made a commitment to me--not because I deserve it, but because they know I need it--even though my busy life of ministry alienates me from most local activities. But I believe this is what God has called me to--and I do not want to shrink back--but I just need to keep reaching for friends and close companions in the midst of it. And I so need these sweet friends who took the risk to intervene in my life and to bless me.

And now, I also see, that the greatest gift of all in the midst of my family's isolation and moving so much has been that we are the closest of friends.My children didn't have lots of people and so I didn't have much competition! We loved and had fun with each other out of necessity and the end result was that we are friends and love and enjoy each other each day by phone and email, not because we have to, but because we truly enjoy each other and are interested in each other's lives. My children have also experienced this loneliness--not many peers like them in today's world. Yet they are learning to lean into the life God has given to them and they are all best friends! Even after so many years of fussing and tussling--they ended up in love.

So, if you are feeling lonely today, please know I understand and God understands and you are not invisible to Him--it isn't even because you have done anything wrong or because of your personality--it is just a consequence of life in a very fallen, isolated world. So, determine not to let it get you down. Like yourself today, to make a plan, create beauty and call someone else who just might have needed to know that they were not alone in the world.

Now back to writing! Sally

PS Happy Birthday today, Joel. Twenty-two years ago, I was delighted to pop you out after an hour and fifteen minutes of labor in that Austrian hospital with Dad, Gwen, a doctor and nurse all peering into the event. You are a blessing to me.

Gentle Joel Please join me in prayer for him this birthday week!

Sweet Friends, I have a favor to ask of you. Will you help me give Joel a birthday present this week and join me in praying for God to open doors for him financially so he can attend Berklee School of Music in January? He also needs to find housing he can afford. (Hmmm that sounds familiar--oh, yeah--Nathan two months ago!) But I learned my lesson when you prayed with me for Nathan! I would feel so very grateful if you would join me in prayer for Joel this week.

 Here is the whole story: My first son, Joel, turns twenty-two on Wednesday. As a little boy, he was my gentle child, always singing, designing lego cities and castles, drawing hundreds of designs of jeeps, and almost always happy. He would always make the other kids jealous because he could hear a song played on the piano or guitar and he would just sit down and begin to pick it out or play it by ear. I remember one year when we were visiting some friends in Boston, Joel sat down at a harp and began to pick out melodies as though he had been playing for years.

His first year after graduating from high school, Joel attended a worship school, as we have tended to have our kids spend the first year at home as a sort of transitional year into adulthood. At the end of that year, Joel received a several scholarship offers from universities but ended up taking a presidential scholarship at Seattle Pacific University. He so enjoyed his first year and worked while he took a full load of classes and still made a 3.5 average. However, at the end of his first year, he and Sarah were chosen to be interns at a ministry outreach in Cambridge University in England to work with Ranald McCaulay in a ministry outreach to students and professors. Upon return from their summer there, Joel began to pray about changing his major. He began to clep out of some basic classes and said, "I have always wanted to be a musician. I don't think I have much of a chance, but I really feel that if I don't try to get into Berklee school of music, I  might regret it the rest of my life. I think it is the best school in the United States for what I want to do--become a composer."

So, last January he began to compose a song for his interview, which would take place in person in Boston. Now, as a mom, I felt insecure because with our 17 moves, travels in ministry and limited salary, Joel only had about 2 years of formal music lessons. But though he didn't have a depth in musical theory or  much experience at reading music, he had lots of other strengths in just musical talent and a good ear all by God's grace and design.  So our whole family prayed and friends prayed and Joel took a trip to Boston for his live audition. Before that time, he had to fill out pages upon pages of essays telling his philosophy, dreams, desire to study and so on.

He did great on his composition performance and probably was a little weak on the areas he hoped to study at Berklee--like theory!  (You can hear his composition by connecting to this link: http://www.virb.com/thenorthcountry  When you go to this site, place your cursor on The Night as Bright as Day.)

 Then the wait began. They said it would be September before he would hear. This had been the year that I had truly decided that I was like the little boy who gave Jesus his fish and loaves and asked for a miracle. I had done my best, given my all to my children, but I knew that there were holes and that only the Lord could help to open doors for my children. This was the faith I depended on--that if the Lord wanted Joel into the school of his dreams, He would open the doors, knowing that He would be the one we would thank.

Finally, September 15, Joel got the word that he had been accepted at Berklee. We were all amazed and  excited  that now he was going to have the opportunity to pursue what he had wanted to do for many years.

It just happened that it was during the time of the bank failures. So, even though he was accepted, as a January student, there were no scholarships available, even though he pursued every office, every opportunity and every email address he could find. He was only offered $2500 in loans from government Fafsa loans, which is hardly enough to put his toe into the door. So, Joel kept working and praying that God would open the door for him somehow to get into school. In the midst of this, I sent him the book, The Spiritual Lives of Great Composers, which we had read from many years before.

The Lord seems to always use stories of faithful people who have gone before us to show us the way. Joel read several of the histories of the great composers. He called me last Friday and was renewed in his confidence to trust the Lord. He said, "Mom, all of these great men had to work so diligently. Most of them were dirt poor and they had to devote themselves to practice and discipline for years upon years. But because they worked hard, they became great.They also had this in common--they performed and composed for the glory of God. The most amazing thing was and epoch statement that Bach made. He said that anyone could do what he did if they would work as hard as he worked. I know I will never be a Bach, but I want to do what he did and work to my capacity. I really want to try to find a way to make it work for me to go ahead and start school in January. I am not afraid of working  hard. I think I can make good grades and be a good student and then maybe I can get scholarships the end of my first year. I really want to do my best to become a composer."

So, now, we are placing ourselves once more in the hands of the Lord and know that in some way He will greatly show his faithfulness. Having been involved in ministry for so many years, we have not had a lot extra to put into college for the kids. Yet the Lord has met our needs every year. But we have put our names on loans for the kids for their cars and for the school loans they have had to take out. All of our children have worked hard and have been able to pay their basic bills.  But we are not sure if Fafsa will give loans to Clay and me as we have heard that all such student loans are very difficult to get since the fall of the banks and since we have already applied to Fafsa for financial aid and Joel just received a little. .

Yet, having seen the Lord work so wonderfully before in our lives with Nathan in New York city, we want to ask you to please join us in praying for Joel this week as we make one final attempt to secure a loan so that he can start school. Will you please pray for Joel to see God open a door for him with us? He is willing to keep working, but he has also come to the point of wanting to see God open doors in such a way that many will see His reality.

I used to worry so much more, but I have seen God's ways more clearly in the past few years. When I wanted things to be easy, God was allowing them to be a challenge--because He was a Father with a training heart. He was answering my prayers, (Lord, please build my boys into godly men.) His ways are to build Joel into a stronger man so that he can be prepared for more difficult challenges ahead. Having had to work, to strain towards his dreams, to grapple with the Lord about how to make it all happen could be as important to the making of his character as school will be to his music education. I see his spiritual muscles growing, his confidence in God building and his whole life being stretched and in all of this, he will be much more prepared to be the godly, strong man God would have him be.

So, Happy Birthday, dear, wonderful Joel. I can't wait to see what the Lord has waiting for you.

I love you! Mom

(And thanks to you wonderful friends who join me in prayer before the Lord's throne.)

PS Joel's email address is jicmusicguy@gmail.com