Searching for some brain space and quiet

 

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be. Anne Frank

Last night, Sarah and I sat on the couch and dreamed of places remote where we could go away to the quiet--to be still for hours and hours to ponder life and to just be. How lovely such an escape would be--I chose the ocean and she the mountains--but both would be secluded and quiet.

I have had so little brain space lately as it has all been filled with people, activity, duties and chores.

But God has put on my heart to attempt to be a Mary for a while, hidden away, even for just a bit.

And so today, that is where I will be at least part of the day--hidden and not answering phones or looking at the internet--but just away to empty some of my brain again so I will have a little more time to think and just be.

Peace of the Lord to you all.

Creating Community: A Tradition that Gathers and Celebrates Friends

Seventeen moves, 6 times internationally, has found me alone and lonely so many times. Starting all over with a church, being the new mom in the neighborhood, trying to find at least one friend for every single child, getting a good piano teacher--and the list goes on and on.

So, as I prayed over the years for someone--just someone--to invite my family over or to reach out to me in a new place, God put it on my heart, that I was supposed to be the initiator.

A part of owning my life and taking responsibility, I learned, was to figure out what my needs were, so that I could survive one more move, and then to begin to put anchors in place in my life so that some of my needs would be met. I realized early on that I was expending myself in the lives of my children at such a pace that if I didn't refuel and take time to fill my own soul, there would be nothing for my children to draw from when they looked to me for life.

So, about 6 years ago, I started a small Bible study group in my home for moms. I needed a group, so I started a group. Come to find out, a lot of the other moms needed a group, too.

We would meet once a month in my home and people would share a snack and take turns and then after a while of just talking and catching up, we would have a Bible study together that I had prepared.

Hot Spiced Apple cider, decaf coffee and Christmas tea, with plates and plates of delicious food!

The first Christmas, we decided to have a Christmas tea. Each mom would bring a favorite mug or cup and also a heavy appetizer (pizza, small sandwiches, meatballs, pita and humus, etc.) and also a sweet to share.

Now, six years later, we gathered again--and some have been coming since the very beginning, we gathered again, and had 79 people.

People sit in every room in the house--

Last night, we had lots of sweet babies,

Sarah holding a sweet baby whose mom needed reprieve to eat!

When all of the chairs and couches are gone, friends line up on the stairs or sit on the floor.

With so many moms gathering, it takes a lot of friends helping to make sure everyone is cared for!

One friend is the parker and helps women find parking places up and down the driveways and streets.

Another friend, that I had not seen in a while, stood at the door and passed out name tags and helped welcome all of our new mommies and told everyone where to put their food---boy did we have a feast.

Two friends organized the food, drinks and left me with 3 cans full of Christmas cookies from the leftovers.

Mary, the mother of Jesus, is always the study or our Christmas devotional.

Now, these 6 years later, I have such friends, such memories, so much fun and feel like my own cup is filled because of these precious ones who take the time to gather.

"To have a friend," my mom used to repeat, "one must be a friend."

And so, I am blessed over and over again. Instead of loneliness, I have sweet moms who gather to celebrate life, eat and talk and talk, and then focus our hearts together on Him who is the source of all of our strength.

This is a great time to start a new tradition, don't you think, of asking God to gather in your home, other women who are longing to share life together, and gathering friends who will strengthen and pray for each other through years of the seasons of life as a mom.

Each year, I store up sweet memories with friends, and remember just how full my life is to have been blessed with a community of moms who, over the years, have made the time to gather and each of whom has blessed my life and made it so full. I am indeed so very thankful.

Traditions Especially for Little Ones! {Part One}

Truly one of the most wonderful parts of Christmas is that everything is magnified through the eyes of our children. Coming up with ideas of things that would delight them and then continuing those traditions every year brings much joy to all of us!

A sweet friend asked me to write about the traditions we practiced when our children were little. There are so many that I would have to write pages to adequately describe them all. We did different things at different stages. However, the goal of Christmas traditions is not to do the most elaborate and difficult things, but to help your children love Jesus, revere Him, enjoy His story, to transport the beauty of the Christmas carols so deeply into their hearts. I tried to make things so familiar when they were quite young,  that when they hear the familiar carols as adults, it will flood them with deep memories cherished even from the rocking chair of their mother.

Of course, it is the whole year that will make our children fall in love with Jesus if He is daily cherished in our home. "Look at the twinkling stars that Jesus put into the sky for our pleasure. Isn't He wonderful?"

"I am so glad that Jesus made grapes. I love to eat them."

"Isn't it wonderful that Jesus created us to love music so we could sing and dance?"

... and all in the midst of the other rhythms of life.When the Christmas season was at hand, we would always say, "Now we get to have the best birthday celebration of all! God came to the earth through a little baby to help us, love us and save us. And we get to celebrate His birthday and love Him more by telling His story and singing to Him."

We need to look at little children as Jesus did--they have innocent hearts, they freely love, they adore great stories, surprises, fun and giggles--they want to be generous and give of themselves without self-consciousness. And so we approach the season with their sweet minds in consideration.

I started out by singing the carols each night to my babies as I nursed them, so that they learned them from infancy. At two and a half, one night as I was singing "Away in the manger" to Joy (very verbal and articulate at an early age), and she looked up and me and said, "Mama, isn't it amazing that the cows blew Jesus and he didn't even get mad?"

I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "The cattle were blowing the baby awake, but little Lord Jesus, no crying He makes."   She had engaged her little mind seriously thinking about cattle blowing Jesus awake!

As the children multiplied and became a little older, we would put all in pajamas and have advent with them each night, singing a carol together, in the light of the candles of our advent wreath and then reading our advent verse before they climbed into bed. It is easy for others to hear of our traditions and imagine that somehow we had total cooperation, but of course our children wiggled or argued -- "You sat next to mama last night! It's my turn!" or "He keeps tickling my toe with his feet."

But somehow, it was the rhythm of keeping going and celebrating it the same way year by year that made it precious to the children. The expectation that when the dark of night came, we would all cuddle up on the couch and sing and eat little snacks and read fun Christmas tales and have one more piece added to the adventure of the story of King Jesus.

Books everywhere, in every nook and corner, practically memorized.

One of my friends gave me this lovely idea. We would buy at least one new Christmas book a year. But her idea was to wrap all of your Christmas books in tissue paper and put them in a basket and after advent each night (or whenever you do it), the children take turns picking out one book to unwrap as a present and get to read that one before going to bed. This also makes each book a treasure. If you want to make it easier, you can have an older children wrap up the book each night after it's been read so that it will be ready for the next year and then you won't have 24 books to wrap!

What traditions do you enjoy with your little ones? (Big ones, too?)

The Gifts We Give Our Children

During this season it seems all the world is focused on gifts.

We are making lists of them, choosing them, wrapping them, displaying them, mailing them, hiding them, and finally actually *giving* them, anticipating the look of delight on a child or friend's face. While there's a lot of lamenting out there over the commercialization of Christmas, it does sometimes strike me as ironic when we get all bent out of shape over the to-gift-or-not-to-gift question, since Christmas, at its heart, is all about The Greatest Gift ever given--Christ, Himself!

And so I too will hunt and gather, wrap and mail joyfully, whether homemade goodies, special things gathered from a thrift store, or something lovely from the mall. I am sure of the center of my Christmas, because it's the center of my life.

Ministry of Motherhood was written after I discovered something very exciting to me. While we are not exactly flooded with detailed examples of wonderful mothers on the pages of Scripture, there is in the life of Christ Himself a true wealth of lessons to be learned, if we only search for them! His interactions with His disciples are packed with so many truths, so much light for our own paths as moms.

As my children were growing up, Clay and I together worked out a framework for what we wanted our home life to look like. We knew we wanted to give our children eternal gifts; the gifts the Lord had given to us. We eventually came up with an outline to carry us through the training of our children as we walked daily with them--gifts we hoped they would in turn pass on to a broken and needy world. Using the word GIFTS as an acronym helped us to remember what our spiritual priorities were. Here they are, as shared in The Ministry of Motherhood:

G represents the gift of grace--the kind of undeserved but freely given love and favor that comes from God. We model grace by extending it to our children, but also by insisting that they learn to extend it to others. Practically speaking, the gift of grace is all about relationships. It's the desire and ability to relate personally and lovingly to God and people.

I represents the gift of inspiration--which is all about motivation and purpose. This gift is essentially the desire and ability to view all of life in the light of God's sovereignty and purpose. Inspiring my children to understand God's purpose for their lives and say yes to His call provides them with a sense of meaning. It helps give them the energy they need to do what God wants in their lives.

F represents the gift of faith--both content and attitude. We give this gift both by teaching "the faith" (sound doctrine, biblical literacy, practical application) and by modeling what it means to live in faith, trusting God for our needs. Biblical faith gives my children the strength they need to proceed in thier walk with the Lord. The gift of faith is the desire and ability to know God through His Word and Spirit and to trust Him for every area of life.

T represents the gift of training--the desire and ability to grow in Christian maturity and godly character in the power of the Holy Spirit. It's not just telling children how to live, not just modeling right behavior, but repeating these lessons with patience and perseverance until they become part of their lives. Training is a process of gradually moving a child's character and habits in a godly direction.

S represents the gift of service--the desire and ability to minister God's grace and truth to others. Giving my children a heart for ministry teaches them how to serve God tangibly and practically by using their hearts and their hands for ministry.

 

This book, which I'm featuring here this month, lets me share some of the lessons I learned about being a mom from studying Jesus--plus stories from our house showing just a bit of the many things my children have taught me! I hope you'll be inspired and encouraged to follow Jesus' example with your own children, and consider making your own list--or fleshing out this one--with the things you want to pass on as you walk with your family. You can buy a copy of The Ministry of Motherhood by clicking here!

Have you come up with any great ways to remember your main priorities with your children?

Mentoring Monday Honor: The foundation of manners and reverence

Mentoring Monday: Honor, the Foundation of Manners and Reverence {Sally Clarkson vlog}

Mentoring Monday: Honor, the Foundation of Manners and Reverence {Sally Clarkson vlog}

Pieter Pietersz

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.

Fred Astaire

If a child is to learn to worship God, to give Him the worth, the honor and glory he deserves, he learns the value of honor by seeing it in his family and by practicing it as a way of life.

God tells children to "Honor their mother and father" and in this command is a practice of showing respect, giving worth, humbling one's self--in short practicing seeing the value in another person. When people are valued, valuing God and worshipping Him is already a pattern in the heart.

Manners must be modelled, trained, valued, so that that which is sacred may be learned through the life of a home. It is one of the best skills and heart attitudes a parent may give to a child.

If there is no place in our lives where we must be hushed, out of reverence, when we enter a place; if vulgarity and crudity of language offers no pang of shame; if there is no sense of reverence in the grid of our lives that requires us to bow our own self in the presence of someone greater, then passing on a sense of awe and humility when we are in God's presence will be impossible. We practice humility and honor with our peers that we may worthily understand God's rightful place in our lives as the sovereign over all.

Living Beyond What Seems Possible

 Living through many seasons of challenges and difficulties, has taught me that I am capable of more than I sometimes feel I can handle. When a mom learns, by faith, to reach beyond what she thinks is possible, when circumstances "feel" too difficult, to search for and look for joy and beauty in life, she glories God with a beautiful service of worship. When things go wrong as they so often do (why is it so often, anyway?) I might feel like having a spiritual tantrum, and  sometimes, I do! But I have learned that complaining and pulling into the darkness doesn't really change things.  Slowly, I have learned to choose to take the higher road of looking for Him and for His wisdom at every turn in the road.

It has been all of the twists and curves that have made me humble to understand others, stretched my capacity to serve and believe, and caused me to see that God is much bigger than my problems and has greater purposes than I could see at the time.

As Christians, we are supposed to reflect God's character, because we were made in His image and His Spirit lives within us. It's natural to be selfish; it's supernatural to be loving. It's natural to be arrogant and prideful or complaining; it's supernatural to be humble and ask for forgiveness and give gracious love. We are the reflection of God, everywhere we go! How do you become more like God? By worshiping Him and pondering Him in all of the places He takes us in life!

In the same way that a child develops maturity and strength over days, months and years, so as God's child, we develop slowly over time. Each new challenge builds our spiritual and character muscles--but it is a process over time.

I think sometimes we feel that if we just did the right things, our lives would be easier. We spend a lot of time trying to figure out the abc's that will lead to a happy, simple, fuss-free life. And it's very aggravating when we find that doesn't work! For some people, it's more than aggravating; it can lead to a loss of faith. Yet that's not what God has invited us to do. He desires us not to perform works or to follow formulas. Instead, we are invited to a loving, deep relationship with Him that will grow with time. As we want our children to trust us and obey us, so God desires our trust in His ability to Father well.

And so we must live that way with our children too. Having a great home life is not about a formula; not a matter of getting the right quiet time book to read or a formula for keeping the house orderly all the time. It's really all about the rhythms and culture of our homes. It's about the way life flows within our four walls. Even now as our own children have grown and moved into their adult lives, I can see it's still our love, the traditions, the rhythms that they miss.  When they were little, we danced while doing dishes. We put on loud, fun music when the kitchen got too messy. We celebrated life together through the good times and the bad. You can do that, too! The grace you give, the way you work when no one is looking is being seen by your sweet ones who are taking it all in. Your life is the story being watched carefully by your children--they are taking mental notes!

Laziness and resistance to the work load was common for me as a young mom. I was inexperienced (as a mom) and I didn't even know it! Now I see work is a glory to God. I learned to serve my kids, to get up in the mornings and practice working, and now I can see the results. My children say they can't wait to get home because they miss our dinner table times, the home that became a haven, and the predictable life that took so long for me to develop. God is winsome; you have to celebrate God and love Him in front of Him for your children to be able to see Him. It's the reality of God's life that your children will fall in love with.

God is truly the easiest person to please when you just have a heart of faith and understand His mercy, patience and grace. To Him we are  mere toddlers and He gives us time to grow.  Your home is the practice field for maturity and character.You will never be perfect--don't waste time feeling guilty or inadequate! It just leads to a road of discouragement. But accept your limitations as God does, as a good parent doesn't expect adult behavior from His toddler.

In the same way, don't give up on your children. Lean into the process of life. Live beyond what you think is presently possible. Keep praying and believing and loving and disciplining. Children give you a reason to civilize culture. There is no silver bullet and if you're trying to find it-- thinking, "If I could only find the right book or formula, life would be perfect,' you're not living in this fallen world with the reality of trusting God.

The sooner you give up your perfectionist determination and plans, the quicker you're going to be subject to the grace of God to work in a real way in your life.

It's not about how you feel, it's what you do with how you feel.

Hangeth thou in there. And trust that He can help you live beyond what seems possible!

 *********************************************

There's much more of this message, and it's this month's featured audio! You can grab it as an instant download here: MomHeart Audio: Restoring God's Mom Heart.

If the risk that faith requires had not been taken, ....

Marie Ellenrieder

"Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!"

Luke 1:45

If the risk that faith requires had not been taken, there would be no Jewish Nation, the same way we know of it.

Abraham had to go out, not knowing where he was going and then

he had to be willing to sacrifice his son on the altar.

Mankind could have been decimated if Noah hadn't listened and obeyed.

Noah had to build an ark, against much ridicule, and collect animals, against ridicule.

The Jews might still be slaves.

  By faith, Moses chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin.

He was willing to take millions of men, women and children, into the Red Sea with an Egyptian Army racing at his back.

Jericho may have won the battle.

Without David's slingshot, the Philistines would have won the battle.

Without Mary's heart saying, Be it done to me according to your will, we would have no heroine of motherhood to follow.

She had to move to a foreign country for two years, the most hated country of her nation,

Move to a whole new town, live with a perfect son,

Watch him die on the cross and live by faith through it all.

Battles would not have been won, heroes would not have been made,

Mother Theresa would not have ventured to India to show compassion to thousands. 

Amy Carmichael would not have retrieved girls from prostitution.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer would not have written The Cost of Discipleship in prison.

Children would not be trained and educated at their mother's knee.

Marriages would have ended.

Ministries would not have been established.

When God's spirit is alive within us, HE compels us to take ground back for the Kingdom of God.

God's spirit drives us to redeem.

He motivates us to give generous love and to work unto sacrifice that others might be reach with the kingdom messages.

In short, when the people of God are moved by faith, to do His works on earth during their short lives,

The whole world is turned upside down, by normal people who serve a transcendent, omnipotent  God.

Without faith, it is impossible to please God.

When people become passive and fearful, there is no power or mystery of the Kingdom of God sweeping over the world with life and healing.

What is God whispering in your heart today, to accomplish by faith in Him?

Faith requires a listening heart. God is so willing to use normal people--who are listening and willing to obey.

How are you being responsive to Him today to live a life of faith?

It cost Jesus His life to redeem the world, but because of His sacrifice, the battle has been won.

What risk are you willing to take, by faith, to venture to live a story that others will tell for generations to come?

MomHeart Conference 2013: I Take Hope: Desperate no more! and a Giveaway!

 ENTER BELOW FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO WIN A TICKET TO A MOM HEART CONFERENCE NEAR YOU!
I have received so many letters and emails and comments about how the Mentoring Mondays have been an encouragement to many of you. Our momheart conferences provide a very big dose of encouragement and inspiration for moms who long for a real life mentoring weekend! Let me tell you a little of the story of how this happend.
About 20 years ago, the Lord put on my heart, (and Clay's) to see if we could train, instruct, inspire a whole generation of parents and particularly moms, to capture a vision for raising this generation of children to become strong, vibrant disciples of Christ.
We are amazed at how the Lord has blessed our writing, our books, and carried the message which we thought was on his heart to the whole world--with our books now in 6 languages and our messages going all over the world.
Our heart has always been to be a part of what the Holy Spirit was doing in families. The Mom Heart conferences have always been an integral part of reaching thousands of moms with these messages. God has used these conferences to help inspire women all over the world to understand and embrace their divine role as a mom who shapes the destiny of future generations.
And so, in the midst of all the holiday excitement, we wanted to be sure to reach as many moms with the opportunity to plan to attend one of these conferences.
But we need your help to get the message of these conferences to as many women as possible!
    
Motherhood is daunting, we hope you will find that this conference with hundreds of other like-minded moms, will give you just the shot in the arm that you need to overcome those inevitable days when you wonder just what you are doing!
At this conference,  you will have the opportunity to laugh, cry and just breathe in peace as you hear from our many speakers and be involved in the music, food and celebration of friendship.  Sarah Mae and I wrote Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, which inspired this year’s Mom Heart Conference theme, “I Take Hope ~ Moving through Desperate to Destiny.” It is our hope that you will take hope in the promises and truths of God to make it through those inevitable dark days. . It will be a weekend of refreshment, inspiration, encouragement, and fellowship you will not want to miss. We hope many of you will be able to join us!
You may choose from the four locations this year!
COLORADO: January 18-19, Denver/Littleton, CO (Denver Marriott at Park Meadows, $79.00/night room rate) Register Here Hotel and Conference Information
CALIFORNIA: February 1-2, Irvine/OC, CA (Irvine Marriott, $104.00/night room rate, includes up to two full buffet breakfasts) Register Here  Hotel and Conference Information
TEXAS: February 15-16, Irving/DFW, TX (Dallas Marriott Las Colinas, $84.00/night room rate) Register Here
NORTH CAROLINA: February 22-23, Raleigh/Durham, NC (Sheraton Imperial Hotel, $89.00/night room rate) Register Here Hotel and Conference Information

Conference Schedule: Check-in for each of the events begins at 1:00PM on Friday. Afternoon workshops begin at 3:00PM and 4:00PM that afternoon. Guests are on their own for dinner. The first main conference session is 7:00-10:00PM that night. The second session is 8:45-11:45AM Saturday morning, followed by a lovely banquet luncheon. The final conference session is 2:00-4:30PM that afternoon. I will be the main speaker for all main sessions, along with a special keynote speaker for sessions 1 and 2, and noted workshop leaders.
PossibiliTea (Separate Event): There is also a Friday morning pre-conference PossibiliTea at each of the conferences from 9:30-11:30 AM. This special time with me will focus on personal insights about motherhood, Mom Heart Ministry, and how to be develop your own small group, as well as hearing stories from those already in groups, and how they are being encouraged and growing. Space will be very limited and attendance will require a separate $25.00 registration fee. To register, go to the Conference information page for the state where you are registered, or go to the Store and click on the “Mom Heart Conference 2013” icon.
 THE GIVEAWAY
Our dream is to reach as many moms as possible with this message of hope.
And I'm giving away one conference ticket!
You may enter from now until Friday at 12pm EST by commenting below, tweeting, or connecting or advertising the conference on your facebook page. Just click in the Rafflecopter box below to complete each method of entry! If you are able to advertise this conference to your support group or blog, please let us know through your comments and we will give you an extra entry for each way that you advertised it.
 
We could never reach as many women without your help! Thanks so much for all of you who have supported us for all of these years and helped us reach out to moms all over the world.
I am so very excited about this year's conferences--where we hope to expand mentoring and inspiration for all the moms who attend. 
I so hope to see you at one of our conferences this year! Please come and gather with like-minded moms for refreshing and encouragement--and watch as we see a movement of God reach the whole world of mothers with His messages.
For the Early Bird Special register now at www.WholeHeart.org or by phone 888-488-4466 | 719-488-4466
THE PRICE WILL GO UP IN DECEMBER!
For more information about the conferences and to find pdf's you may use with your own group, go to: http://www.wholeheart.org/our-events/

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