*used blog 10/30/21 Home is about the art of life, Not about the perfection!

Joel, my song boy. Let the music and laughter flow.

A few years ago, we were  visiting a family and everything in the home--I should say, estate, was perfect. A garden without weeds, a home in perfect order, a meal with no mess as all pots and pans had been washed and all put away. Yet, something about the environment seemed sterile and stiff to Clay and me and to our children. We did feel that the children were quite stiff and formal, and seemed  afraid to move out of the context of "reserved politeness."  The atmosphere seemed sterile, and there was something uncomfortable to all of us--like a mysterious air of performance and judgment. The mom repeated three times, "I am so exhausted, all the time."

We all felt the strange atmosphere of stress and strain, even in the midst of perfect order,  and we talked about it as we left in the car because it was all so right and yet felt so wrong--the atmosphere of strain almost palpable.

There seemed to be form without art or life.

I am not condemning order, how i love it! Or high ideals! I am guilty of high ideals. But if the ideals consist of performance and not heart, all will be lost.And that is what it felt like to all of us while we were there. And frankly, we all felt a subtle pressure to perform and not say the wrong thing!

What an attitude we sometimes carry about God in our hearts, as though he is some kind of cross, angry man, terminally disappointed in us for not being more perfect. He is not crossing his arms, looking scornfully down His face at us saying, "Well, I was going to encourage you today and tell you how much I love you. But I can't--look at that pile on your desk, shocked at that pile laundry, I am suspicious because you are laughing too much today!"

Instead He is saying, "Woohoo! You sat with your child and watched me paint a sunset! You were patient with that spilled milk and fuss one more time--you listened to that weepy teen and didn't even get correct him, even though you were exhausted! You are my precious one and I love  that you are doing your best. I love you. I am with you, I am proud of you for keeping going!"

A home is a place of life filled by a mother whose life is contagious because of her sparkle in the midst of messes, her laughter in the midst of duty, her song pervading the whole place--the music, feasts, art, joy of life--flowing out of a heart that has found this joy in her God.

‎"To build a home of ideals means a life of sacrifice. It means a lot of work, and it's never going to be over. These ideals don't come easily to anyone; they come through battle. It's an illusion to think that building a place of beauty ever happens naturally to anyone; it happens little by little ... through hard work ... when we cultivate our souls, our kids will have something to draw from .. the house with the life of God isn't a perfect house, it's a redeemed house! It's not a home without sin, or without messes or without spilled milk, but we redeem one more moment, in the joy of living with Him, and that moment becomes a memory, an unspoken message that lasts for life... " Mission of Motherhood

Sally Clarkson

So, today, it is not about perfection, but about peace, hope, life, vision and love. Today, in the midst of all the messes, smile, laugh, sing and dance to the rhythms of God's singing.

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We are living in ponderous times and sometimes it is overwhelming. Monday night, I will be talking about some of the things that make us feel so desperate and the ways we can keep going and move to hopefulness. There is hope ---and hope keeps us moving ahead, one day at a time. Mentoring Monday night--also, developing habits of excellence in your children's lives. http://www.hangoutwithsally.com/?whw_hangout=6®ister

If you register, you will get an email telling you the information you need to be with us live. Joining us costs you nothing--it's just to make it available to you so you can watch it online. Hope you can be there!

Casting a Vision that Captures the Heart

"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire!"

William Butler Yeats

Today, so many youth and college students regularly leave their faith behind, as they confront the world and its messages. Why, when so many good families have taken the time to build the messages and love faithfully?

As I ponder this dilemma, I think there are two reasons. One is that religion cannot just be indoctrination of thought. It must be a real, contagious message  about the reality of God that captures the heart, because there are so many messages screaming out to them in media.

And the second, is that we were born for community--aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandfathers, neighbors and friends--close by and living in common purpose and belonging. All of us, young adults especially, were built for relationship--love, affirmation, encouragement, belonging. And so we must build these two components as a visual and actual reality in our lives as much as possible--even if we have to build our own community with friends or those in our lives.  As we reflect on the life of Jesus, ...,

Dusty, rutted Roman roads were filled with clatter of wagons of market goods for sale, donkeys carrying burdens of farm vegetables, caged fowl squawking  and  horses mounted by  menacing Roman soldiers, mulling around in the noisy marketplace of Jerusalem. And yet, it was here, in this oppressed, unknown, seemingly insignificant hamlet that a worldwide revolution would begin that would rock the world forever.

An obscure teacher, rabbi over common fishermen,  tax collectors and mere women, would spark a fire in the hearts of those hungry souls that would turn the world upside down.

Those caught in the fray of mundane life longed for something more, to be a part of a life that held meaning besides grasping day to day for enough to eat, a way to pay bills.

And so, the secret, underground movement was ripe for the times in which it was birthed.

"Follow me and I will make you fishers of men."

Always, Jesus' message was about casting a vision that would capture the hearts and imaginations of men and women, their hearts were stirred and their fellowship around what gave them meaning together.

Always, always the message of Christ was missional--Go! Influence! Bring light! Redeem! Become a part of a movement of the Spirit of God blowing through the lives of people all over the world. Take over the darkness with your light--become redeemers! Still, today, amidst the mundane, hearts long to be ignited with the passion, purpose and influence that will continue to transform this world of darkness into a place of light and hope--and all of us have a part to play.

These were the transforming messages, challenges, vision statements. And I would snuggle up on the couch, wide-eyed children squishing around me, Jesus has a special mission for each of you-Sarah, Joel, Nathan, Joy--to accomplish in the world. You will meet people that will need only you to be the hands, the words, the message of God's love. I can't wait to see how He uses you in your world!" And they would wiggle, touch toes or push a little for more room, but each one heard their name associated with God's love and their story to tell, and they would shake their little heads in affirmation when I would ask, "Isn't it exciting to see how normal fisherman did miracles and helped people--just like you will do!"

Jesus's words were sending ones, purpose-driven and fitting for warriors:

""Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves." John 17:15

"I do not ask that you take them, (my disciples)  out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one." John 17: 15

"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20

13 “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men.

14 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; 15 nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. 16 Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven." Matthew 5:13-16

"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” Matthew 9: 36-37

Will we pray for him to send our children, us, into the harvest field? Are we willing to go anywhere? Do anything? Are we arming our children with values for living for eternity and not just living for the temporal, this world, the material, that is corrupting as we live each day?

All children and all adults were made for a life of meaning and purpose. We were created to be message makers, healers, redeemers. There is a kingdom of darkness but we are people of the light and the light will overcome all that is evil, dark, meaningless and harsh. We are people of the kingdom and we are bringing that kingdom to bear every day in every act, every expression of our faith, every moment of our worship--because we have been adopted by the king!

If we find ourselves caught in mundane, boring, life-draining darkness, perhaps we have not been living in light of the kingdom purposes for which we are designed. You are not a mere human being caught in the despair of life---you are royalty, a child of the king, called to a purpose of bringing light to dark places, bringing love to the lonely and bitter of heart, of bringing forgiveness to those who feel condemned. You are announcers of a life beyond where the rule of Christ, our loving God, will rule forever and ever.

Often, people ask me, "How did your children stay strong in their faith in very worldly and  in challenging places? (New York City, Hollywood, Oxford, Cambridge, Boston) Of course, I must tell you, the basis of their strength is God and I was on my knees every day, praying, teaching about Him and cultivating to the best of my ability, a life of faith.

But truly, I think the secret was that their hearts were captivated by a vision--"Jesus has a work for you to do in this world! You are very unique and special, because you have a story to live--just like Daniel, David, Moses, Joshua, Esther, Ruth, Mary, Hannah, Abigail were all heroes in their generation, so you were made by God to be a hero in your generation.Only you can live a story worth telling, but I am so very honored to be your mom and to coach you and train you for the great story I know you will live. I am so proud of you! I love you so much!"

How will God use you, Sarah, to shape messages? Joel, to craft music for His glory, Nathan, to write movie scripts that will show greater stories, Joy to become a teacher and discipler of young women---I know that you will be bearers of light and God will use you in your lifetime as a part of the kingdom rule He is bringing on the earth.

When you capture the fire of your own significance in the kingdom of God, when you know that as a mother, you have the ability to shape generations to become powerful leaders for the cause of Christ, then that vision will fuel the energy of your life to serve Him every day, whispering the secrets of the kingdom of God. Your fire will be passed on to those who will carry on the torch of faith.

But first you must kindle the fire in your own heart so that you will pass on the fire to your children. And it is best seen in community--the family that laughs, lives, shares, invests lives and hearts around the same purpose and celebration of life, grow from mutual community and vision.

You will never be perfect and your house will never stay totally clean and there will always be more dishes, fusses, messes--but if today, you are igniting the vision, filling the heart, passing on purpose, then today, a work is being accomplished that will be your lasting glory---that you were a builder of the kingdom of God in your lifetime and you armed warriors for His cause to take over the world for His glory with His messages.

We are not called to send our children into their lives just to be moral, good people. We are to be senders of leaders who have "caught" the kingdom messages that will transform the world!

Your unnoticed, obscure home today has a capacity to be a place of revolution and redemption when the Rabbi, Jesus, takes His proper place and whispers the secrets of the kingdom through you, His ambassador, all the moments of your day. The vibrant life of your little community will capture a vision and they will become, in the footsteps of those so long ago, the ones who are light bearers in their world who will tell the story of their King.

It is in casting a vision that a heart is captured for the life-changing messages of the kingdom of God.

I host women in my home for leadership intensives, Bible studies and discussions but so many will never be able to come. So, Monday night, I am bringing my home to you! Please pass on this information to your friends and networks and we shall have a life-changing time together!

JOIN ME MONDAY NIGHT, NOVEMBER 4, FOR A TIME OF MENTORING AND DISCIPLESHIP ON GOOGLE HANGOUTS WHERE I WILL BE SHARING MORE ABOUT THIS MESSAGE and the reason for my writing of 10 Gifts.  

Sign UP FOR A FREE HOUR OF SPEAKING AND DISCUSSION ABOUT BECOMING A MOM WHO BUILDS A LASTING LEGACY.

SIGN UP HERE AND YOU WILL RECEIVE AN EMAIL IN YOUR INBOX WITH THE INFORMATION OF HOW TO JOIN IN THE Google Hangout.

So excited--we shall change the world together! A mama's movement!

Waiting Long Enough to live a Big story takes Patience & Lots of Time: Mentoring Monday

The legendary living old tree at our "ranch," in the middle of Texas.

Gnarly branches twist and turn all around the trunk of our mysterious ancient tree, that whispered to us of  old untold stories hidden. it held the mystique of the generations it had witnessed, but hid from our sight.  Surely, as it stood in a cattle tank and was well watered, it knew the lives of those living in the 75 year old farm house just standing amongst relative trees in the near distance. Standing in the hidden brush of some property our family owns right in the middle of Texas, it was a hiking point on our evening walks. Most of the trees on our 200 acres are small scrub oak--yet this is the grand daddy of all the trees! When the kids and Clay and I first discovered it for ourselves, we could not believe how amazingly large it is. With our whole family holding hands around the tree, we could not even totally enclose the circumference. It is much larger even than it looks in this picture that my brother-in-law, Wiley Clarkson, took!

The stories this tree could tell if it could talk! It has grown and given shade to many people through the years, but it is thought to have lasted generations. Yet, this gigantic tree, started out as a little spring of a tree, but with all the potential of becoming large, old and grand at its inception. But it took a very, very long time. This tree grew through storms, draught, tornadoes and lightening. The tree has a story to tell now, since it has lasted longer than all of the other trees that are long gone. But to tell this grand story, it had to be patient to live well and strong through all the decades.

At 60, as I have been reflecting on my life, in order, hopefully, to make the next 60 intentional. However, I have been quite blessed to look back on my life and see that God has taken all of the years and made them fruitful and productive. Most days, I could not see the growth, even months, I could not see the growth. Yet, over the years, God was building a legacy through our family, our children, our ministry and our writing and speaking--but each day was lived and invested one day at a time, waiting, hoping, that our faithfulness mattered.

There were seemingly desolate times of illness, loneliness, financial issues, emotional hurts and separation from other "Christians" that broke our heart. And yet, God kept saying, daily in our quiet times,

"Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD." Psalm 27: 14

Rare, if any,  is the verse that says, "Give up now--this is the time." or "Don't be patient with those immature, irrational people in your life--you deserve to quit since life is hard!"

Quite the contrary--wait, hope, work, be steadfast, cultivate faithfulness--wait and you will see God.

God, through allowing us to wait, is building faith, leadership, spiritual muscle, maturity, messages, and a platform that will become the messages the Spirit wants to teach us so we can be a blessing with others.

Patience is learned moment by moment in irritating circumstances. It is learned through seasons--(terrible twos, tricky teens, hormonal middle age, old age senility). Teaching your child little by little to be patient, to control His spirit, to exercise self-control, is training your child to learn to wait on God.

Contemporary culture gives us permission to compromise at every point--marriage, commitments, ideals, friendship--we want instant gratification--we are the generation of "I want it now."

Yet, God's will is to build the character of Christ in us and His way is to teach us to wait--to rule over our emotions and to be still and know that "He is God."

Patience leads to all sorts of strength--spiritual, mental, physical, skill acquisition, (musical accomplishment, athletic strength, academic prowess, financial security) so many blessings come through learning to be patient.

In the end, the man of medium skill and talent who perseveres is of much greater long term value than the talented, skillful person who quits and gives up.

So as we approach this important way, we must look for all sorts of ways to underline the importance of patience, ruling over our emotions, waiting on God patiently, practicing patience with those who push our buttons. Valuing patience is valuing spiritual maturity.

And so, as you instruct your children in this important virtue, be patient as it takes them time to learn this character strength! :)

Memory Verse: "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who captures a city." Proverbs 16:32

WE CHOOSE TO BE PATIENT, EVEN WHEN WE FEEL LIKE GETTING OUR OWN WAY. WAY #19

What an amazing verse--a slow to anger person, one who controls his spirit, is better, stronger, more rare than a person able to capture a whole city--in other words, he who is patient, will win the day.

In what areas do you find it most difficult to be patient?

I am not naturally patient. I wasted many precious seasons of my life wishing them away, someone thinking the next season would be easier. God taught me slowly. Now, I seek more to pace myself and to see each miracle each day. It is still not easy as I am a "fast-paced" person, but I just wish I had not wasted so much time trying to hurry things that needed time to grow, and just enjoyed the process more.

God is with you, God is building you and your children and your vision, God will be faithful when you wait on Him.

Sometimes you can't know you are lonely until you are loved...Plus a book you will love!

by Sarah, my daughter---for all of those who exist, lonely......

Sometimes, you can’t know you’re lonely until you are loved.

The heart is a thrifty housewife. In her hand a scrap of fellowship becomes a meal. Her grit keeps the spirit in life with the bones of a smile and the salt of occasional kindness. When her own house is bare, she gathers beauty from the fields for bread. When winter comes, she brews a little hope from sunlight and sets it in the soul’s hand like wine. She may not even know her strength is gone until another heart enters her home and sets a feast, a real feast, before her. And when that happens, she may be too stunned, and starving, to eat it.

At least at first.

I am used to doing life alone. Don’t mistake me, I have my precious family. I have priceless friends, scattered though they are throughout the country. In swift, bright bursts of time, I have known fellowship and I am grateful for every bit of generous love I have ever received. But for most of my adult and daily life, I have hammered out my local days, grappled with writing, worshipped, and hoped toward a certain set of ideals, alone. I have known rejection, yes, but for the most part the loneliness has simply been that of striving after a life that doesn’t  set me in the usual places for friendship. What I want and reach for with my minutes and hours takes me down an unfrequented road. My loneliness is my own doing and I get that. I chose it. I am used to explaining my life and not necessarily being understood. My dad, wise, beloved man that he is, once asked me if I knew that a certain idealistic decision would set me in a place of loneliness and could I live with that? I said yes, absolutely, yes. Because I’m with Rich Mullins. “It’s okay to be lonely as long as you’re free.”

The danger of that freedom is that it can become a forgetting. When you choose loneliness and try to love it you can forget that community, or worse, communion is possible. You can forget even to reach for it. I just looked up the word communion: “the sharing or exchange of intimate thoughts and feelings, especially when the exchange is on a mental or spiritual level.” I have just never known quite how to find communion where I live. I’m an introvert, I travel a lot, I hold extreme ideals – all good reasons why communion is hard to create. Life is, also, just lonely at times. I hate to feel weak, so I have met that lack with an uplifted chin. “I’m fine. I’ll read another book. I’ll take another walk.” I’ve done this for years. And though I have survived, a certain chill crept into my being. I found that I hoped less for friendship. I found that I began to suspect that who I was was just too much, to odd, for understanding. My heart spun life from scraps. And as the voices of others faded from my life, I found that my own voice rose to an uncomfortable pitch in my head.

Ever notice that the voice in your head isn’t generally an encouraging one?

When I stepped in the doors of Hutchmoot a few days back, my  inner voice, left for long months to its own devices, was especially loud. I’ve been part of the Rabbit Room community for several years and have always met a genuine love that set me in life whenever I came to Hutchmoot. But the last year has been particularly lonely. I made yet another decision that was right, but goodness, it was hard. And though I knew that I would find acceptance at Hutchmoot, I entered in a defensive, quiet stance. I didn’t expect special attention. As I walked in the door, my mind kept up its Eeyore-like narrative. Don’t expect too much. Just do what you can. Make it through. And then my inner voice was interrupted.

“You’re here!”

And my self-conscious stance was broken by warm arms around me and hands that pulled me in the doors. Within minutes, I found myself talking so quickly that the Eeyore in my head wasn’t fast enough to to break in. At every corner I turned on my way in, a face I knew from the year before met me and there was such brightness looking out at me from each set of eyes I felt almost dazzled. “How are you?” the questions always began. And when I gave the usual polite little answer, I found that the questioner waited. Stayed. “How are you truly?” I found myself telling the truth.  For the rest of this blog, go here!

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My sweet friend, Courtney Joseph with me at a conference! What a heart for God!

What adjectives would you use to define your life? If my journal could give voice, it would tell the story of my life. My friend, who comes with me everywhere, helps me to figure out my life. Often, since I was a young married woman, about every 6 months, I access my life. How am I doing overall? What is a drain? Can I do anything about it? How am I doing in marriage? Motherhood? Spiritually? Emotionally? Ministry? Home?

Life is so busy and confusing, that if I don't constantly take account of the drainers, distractors, fillers, and details, I can spin out of control.

That is why I so appreciate reading books that help me evaluate my life in light of God's best for me, so that I can invest my life--not just exist through the days.

I met Courtney Joseph a few years ago at a blogging conference. Immediately I could see that she was very intentional about her walk with God. Just this month, she put some of her thoughts into a book that does just what I said--helps women evaluate how they are growing and living their lives. I wanted to share this with you today, too, because it is a great way to review some poignant thoughts and then to evaluate where you are investing your life and how to live your life well! She told me she is happy to give one of her books to you! Just leave a comment below if you would like to enter to win one of her books!

You can purchase this book at Barnes and Noble, here.

or at

Amazon, here!

Peacemakers are Made, Not Born! Mentoring Monday 24 Ways way 18

Durnstein, Austria

Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.

Martin Luther King Jr.

If you want trust, trust others. If you want respect, respect others. If you want help, help others. If you want love and peace in your life, give them away. If you want great friends, be one. That's how it works.

Dan Zadra

Way # 18 We choose to be peacemakers, even when we feel like arguing!

 Traveling through parts of Austria and Poland the past three weeks has truly restored deep places in my heart. As a young missionary in Communist these Communist countries many years ago, I cut my teeth on discipleship, "making disciples of all nations", learning to live by faith in a very foreign place, and holding fast to my Bible.

One of my surprises, however, was the conflict and issues, at times amongst the missionaries themselves. Young and inexperienced, I believed that if someone was brave and courageous enough to go into the mission field, they would probably be "super-human" and "super- spiritual." And yet, living overseas can be so very stressful that it magnifies difficulties.  And so this was the place I began to learn the importance of peacemaking, when disharmony and discord entered into the relationships on my staff team. Most were maturing believers, but all were in need of the mercy and grace of God.

This time, even as I travelled by train and car through many very old villages, I noticed that each was enclosed by walls to protect the people inside the hamlets from enemies. Fighting, warring, arguing is one of the foundational evidences that this is the world separated from God. We war against each other because we are self-centered, focussed on our own agenda, our own well-being as opposed to focussing on serving and bringing harmony to others. Do not be surprised by relational conflict--it is a mark of the fallen world. And as believers, we are called to redeem broken places.

You will notice in this particular 4 rules that each begins with "We choose."

It is a choice of our will, an obedience of conscience where we serve God by doing what is right. Maturity in Christ is learning to do what is right because righteousness is so instilled in the pathways of our minds and hearts. When we memorize God's word and wisdom principles, then when we encounter,animosity,  (and we do daily), our minds will already have a truth to go to so that we can have wisdom in behaving as Christ would have us. Truth, understanding  and obedience are partners in peacemaking.

Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God." Matthew 5:19

What a defining verse--by becoming peacemakers, we will be observed to be the true reflection that we are God's sons. But the verse also implies that peace is not easy--it is a "work" of life--it must be made.

Every relationship is between 2 selfish people if they are alive. The question in relationship is not who is right, but who will make peace and give grace and forgive. Making peace starts inside with a decision that says, "I can become a vehicle to bring peace and to restore this relationship if I am willing to humble myself and reach out."

Whether marriage, friendship, family, colleagues, or as parents, peacemaking--the act of choosing to reach out in the work of restoration comes from a heart that worships God.

I love this verse: "For He Himself is our peace," Ephesians 2:14

He made Jesus, who knew no sin, to become peace on our behalf. if this is the greatest work of Jesus life, to give it all that we might have peace with the Father, helping our children to learn to make peace with one another, is one of the most profound ways they can show others what God is like and then come to deeply appreciate what God has done for them, because they will see how much it cost Him the older they become.

 We gently, consistently, peacefully, instruct our children in becoming peacemakers. We teach them that there is a cost to making peace with others--the cost of bowing our own hearts to our pride and becoming willing to serve the one with whom we have conflict.

Adults must exemplify this peace-making lifestyle if children are going to understand and become like God.

How heartbreaking it is to see supposed leaders participate in gossip, pointing fingers, accusing--while thinking they are justified in their criticism, when all along they are harming the reputation of Christ and Christianity.

Blessed are the peacemakers, Jesus said, Something that we all need to ponder anew--today, with our children, our spouses, our friends, even our enemies. We cannot force others to make peace with us any more than Jesus could force the Pharisees to leave him alone. Yet, each of us must make attempts to have peace with others, as far as is possible. But one last admonishment comes from Paul:

"If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." Romans 12:18

So, we teach these peace principles to our children when they are fussing, when friends or a family member has hurt their feeling, when they have been unjustly criticized. Peace training protects a child, as an adult, from making rash decisions in relationships and instead teaches him the pathways of peace-making.

The memory verse this week is profound. God's wisdom--insight and understandable truth--is pure, peaceable and gentle. May the Holy Spirit quicken our hearts to obey and practice this truth, that we might bridge the gaps in our relationships with the love of God.

MEMORY VERSE:

17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits,unwavering, without hypocrisy. James 3:17

Are there any relationships God is pressing on your heart that you need to restore?

Is there anything keeping you from making peace with those who are in conflict with you? Do you need to humble yourself or forgive the other person? If I have learned anything from the heart of Jesus, is that when I choose to obey what He shows me in His word, ultimately is brings me peace and deep joy. I do not have to carry hate or bitterness--He will relieve me from them when I accept His will for me to make peace.

I pray today that many of you will make peace with those in your life who are far away and can be restored. And that you will have His grace, no matter what the results. In making peace, you will become like the son of God!

What are your most challenging issues in making peace with those in your life you share conflict? What keeps you from becoming a peacemaker? Remember, your children don't just hear the words of your messages, they watch live out these important messages in real life every day.

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It was in light of so much response from Mentoring Mondays that I wrote 10 Gifts. Hope you are encouraged!

To answer so many questions: I will be formatting it for a print book eventually when my schedule allows time, since so many of you have requested this. Please forgive us for the problem with some of you not getting the .99 sale. When my designer changed the old blog over to the new, some times and dates shifted to a day late for the publishing of the blog to the mail boxes. As I am trying to move more to writing and away from always managing, I was not involved in this process. But, as with all of life, there is great potential for glitches. Thanks so much for giving us grace in this. There was nothing I could do from Vienna, but also, I am trying  to leave the issues in the hands of people assisting me and I am so grateful for the help. When thousands are involved every day, it is amazing that more does not go wrong. Also, for those overseas who have been asking--even if you do not have Kindles, you can download a kindle app to read the book for free. (https://www.google.com/search?q=Kindle+app+download+for+computers&oq=Kindle+app+download+for+computers&aqs=chrome..69i57j0.15586j0j1&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8)

But, you are all so gracious to me in the midst of this weird techno world. Thanks so much. Grace. Selah!

Enjoy! 

***used blog 10/17/21 A Gentle Answer Turns Away Wrath in all sorts of precious ones

Henri Edmond Cross

“A gentle answer turns away wrath. But harsh words make tempers flare.” Proverbs 15:1

 Standing in the hallway of the hotel where we were hosting our mom’s conference, I noticed a sweet mama who looked as though she was at the end of her rope. Holding a several months old baby, who was arching his little back and crying as though his heart would break, she looked beside herself.

Offering to hold her little one so she could get some rest. Sure enough he would begin to quiet and then something, probably a little girgly tummy would cause him to begin to wail once again. I held him up, check to cheek, his to mine, with my mouth aimed toward his little ear.

Softly I began to talk to him and then I would sing the song so often sung to my children, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” very softly, very gently. He would quiet down. Then another cry would begin, and I would talk to him very softly, “You are not alone, you are so very precious, you are a darling boy,” lyrically, holding his soft cheek so he could feel mine. Each time my voice started, his little eyes got big and he would quiet.

Suddenly, he fell fast asleep.

Whether my children were young and tiny or old, and if they were in a snit, if I wrapped my demeanor, by my will, in softness and gentleness and answered their anger in a gentle voice, non-accusing eyes, they were more likely than not to listen to me and to respond.

“I understand you are feeling frustrated or angry, but I want to listen to you and understand what you are saying so that I can help you.”

Angry words answered with loud voice and accusation, just adds fuel to the flame of anger. Gentleness and sympathy puts water on the fire of one’s angry heart, and soothes the frustrated feelings.. Once I had this scripture in my head and learned to use it in many relationship situations, I saw how effective this piece of wisdom was—all of us desire, in our frustration, to be honored.

There is no absolute solution or formula to calming an angry quarrel. Yet, wisdom from proverbs has often saved the moment for my family.

A hormonal teen, an exhausted toddler, a school-aged child, or a husband who is angry—all of these, long to be treated with focused attention, an understanding heart and a loving response.

As we all know, it is natural to react in like—anger to anger. However, it is from the Spirit of Him who is love that leads us to react in love. And yet, as the Spirit lives through us, we will see His power and fruit drawing others to Him in us, when we choose to remember bits of truth he has left for us to follow. A gentle answer, turns away anger.

Gentleness grows stronger with practice. It comes with humility. It grows as wisdom and takes root in the heart that values the ones she loves. May God grant us to become gentle in our love, that others may see Him through us.

***The 24 hours of the .99 on Amazon is now over, but as an almost full length book, I think you will enjoy it and be blessed at the normal price of $4.99! We were so happy that we were able to do a 24 hour deal for so many of you. Thanks for making the launch such a wonderful blessing to us, who work on the blog and books just for you! You were amazing!

*** used blog 10/14/21 Service: The Gift of Giving Yourself

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” –Mark 10:45

“Make it a rule, and pray to God to help you to keep it, never, if possible, to lie down at night without being able to say: "I have made one human being at least a little wiser, or a little happier, or at least a little better this day." -Charles Kingsley

I was in quite a hurry on the rainy day we pulled up to a stoplight in Nashville and saw a weather-beaten man on the curb holding up a dripping sign. I had both of my boys with me, they were seven and five, and we were late to their weekly music lessons. Windshield wipers thumping, streetlights gleaming through the rain, I glanced at the bedraggled figure standing outside our car, but I couldn’t stop today. There simply wasn’t time.

“Mama,” Nathan’s voice piped up from the backseat, “look at that man in the rain. Look, he has a sign. He must be cold.”

“’Homeless: anything helps, God bless’.” Joel read the words off the damp sign. “Look Mom, he only has one leg.”

For a moment, Joel contemplated this with a solemn, sad little face, and then he turned to me, eyes big and urgent.

“Mom, we should help him. We should buy him a hamburger!” I glanced at my watch and scouted the busy street for fast food restaurants. There were none in sight. But Joel, seeing the hesitation in my face leaned forward from the back, straining against his seatbelt, “come on Mom,” he urged “he really needs our help and you said we should always help the people God puts in our way.”

So I did. Clay and I were always telling our kids to keep their eyes open for the people God might put in their lives who needed their help or kindness. We wanted our kids to see themselves as servants, to have an identity as givers. I couldn’t contradict Joel’s impulse to give. I decided that music lessons would simply have to wait and I rolled down the window.

“Hello sir,” I said as the man moved stiffly toward us, “my boys want to buy you some lunch.”

“Ask him if he wants hamburger or chicken,” called Joel, while Nathan added his own high-pitched command to be sure of his favorite drink. The man told me what he liked and we took off as the light turned. By the time we found a McDonald’s, ordered the perfect meal (with many directions from my boys – “supersize it Mom, he looks really hungry!”), and made it back around to the stoplight, the rain had lifted a little and the man shuffled over to meet us.

As I handed him the bag of hot food and the supersized coke, the boys piped up from the back with “we got you a hamburger like you said, and lots of french fries!” The man took the food, then put his hands on the window and leaned into the car.

“Boys,” he said looking back at each of them, “thank you so much. You’re the first people who stopped all day. What are your names?” the boys told him, and the man nodded, “well thank you Joel, thank you Nathan. God bless you.”

“What’s your name,” piped up Nathan from the back as the man turned to go.

“Michael,” he said simply, and with a nod to me, walked away.

That night, as I put Nathan to bed and prepared to pray for him, he looked up at me with a very serious face. “Let’s pray for Michael, Mama,” he said, and that began a month in which the boys prayed fervently for Michael, “their homeless man,” every night. As I watched their little hearts ache for the loneliness and hurt of another person, I thanked God that I had taken the time to stop, to live out the message I was trying so hard to teach them every day in our home: how to have the heart of a giver, the heart of a servant.

From the time our kids were old enough to listen, Clay and I told them over and over, “I wonder how God will use you in the world. I wonder whose heart you will heal or what truth you will bring.” We wanted our children to think of themselves, even when they were little, as someone who had a responsibility to give, love, and to serve the people around them.

You can find the rest of the chapter and more encouragement in: 10 Gifts of Wisdom.

Announcing! "10 Gifts of Wisdom"- My new e-book! {Launch Week Giveaway #5}

Because so many of you have loved mentoring Monday, and asked me to write about lots of topics of training excellence into your children, teaching them to love well, giving them integrity and building their character, I have been working hard on this book to answer a whole bunch of questions and to encourage you. You, my readers, are the encouragement for me to writ this book. I planned it today, the end of our celebration week, just for you.

Because we are celebrating and it is the launch day, I have asked if I could sell it for 99 cents just today so that all of my friends could get it. It is just for today, though, so be sure and purchase it before the price goes up. This book is 31,000 words--almost regular length and chapters you will love. I kept receiving this question,

“How did you raise all of your children to be so self-composed and polite?” I hear this statement often and it is inevitably followed by, “it must just be a Clarkson trait. It must have just been natural!”

How far from the truth! Excellence of character comes only through rigorous training, instruction, and practice. Every parent wants their child to grow up into a vibrant, gracious, competent adult, yet few today have a vision for cultivating those traits in their children. Giving children moralistic rules and policing their behavior is not enough to captivate their imagination in such a way that they will want to be men and women of strong character. They need vision.

I realized this as I worked to nurture my own children early on. When Clay and I provided them with a vision for becoming compelling leaders in their generation, when we trained them to become skillful, challenged them to graciousness, they responded. By combining a compelling vision of what they could be with day-to-day training and encouragement, we prepared them to become influential with the messages of Christ in their lifetime.

Many children today learn principles of morality, but they enter adulthood without the kind of intentional training that will help them to stand strong, to live well, and to be faithful. So I am sharing with you the basic blueprint of the vision that provided our children with strong foundations. I want to share the training, the habits, and the rhythms that we formed along the way that have prepared our children to stand strong in the storms and the beauty of life.

I have excerpted articles, ideas, and writings from a variety of places to put this book together, so the format varies from chapter to chapter. I hope this will be a potluck feast of stories, thoughts, suggestions, and encouragement. But I also hope that these principles will prepare your own children to have confidence, a sense of calling, and wisdom to walk the roads God brings their way. May all of our children be worthy ambassadors for Christ and His kingdom.

I truly hope that this e-book encourages and equips you as a mother.

10 Gifts of Wisdom-What every child must know before they leave home.

Blessings,

Sally

Click here to get your copy of this brand new book at the special price of just .99 for today only! Read just one of the reviews below, as my hope is that this book will inspire you as well:

"Sally writes from a heart of wisdom and a life of deep Faith. She gives parents a vision for a Godly family then completes that vision with fun, practical ways to make it a reality. You will find yourselves reading and retreading these words of encouragement as you seek to raise children who will follow The Lord with their whole hearts. " Heroes need advocates behind them, and that is one of the greatest roles you can play as a mom." Just one of the many gems you will find in Sally Clarkson's inspiring, new book."

To celebrate our new site, ITakeJoy.com and MomHeart.org, along with 6 years I have been writing, we will have a full week of giveaways!!! Please help us celebrate by sharing our new site with your friends!!

Launch Week Giveaway Day #5

Enter to win our launch week giveaways with rafflecopter below!!

10 Gifts of Wisdom by Sally Clarkson (3 copies)

If you purchase the book at the special price and then are a winner, we will refund the book. It will regularly be $4.95.

Dayspring Choose Joy Pillow (Quantity 3)

(Regularly $23.00 -- THIS WEEK only $11.50)

Thanks for helping me make this a wonderful week. Hope the book blesses you, my wonderful readers!

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Mom Heart Conference 2014...We're Back! {Launch Week Giveaway #4}

I am so excited that it is almost conference season again. Since 1998, this conference just for moms like you has been a bright light in the gray days of winter. And now we're ready to turn the light on again for our seventeenth year with Mom Heart Conferences in Colorado, California, and Texas. The brand new MomHeartConference.com just went live on October 1. Come check it out, and while you're there register for a conference. We hope you can join us!

To help join in the celebration here at I Take Joy, there is an "October Online Only Promotion" with two ways to win: (1) If you are one of the first 200 to register for a conference, you will receive a $10.00 gift certificate to use at our book tables, and (2) if you register anytime in October, your name will be entered in a drawing for a FREE conference registration. The 200 gift certificates will go quickly, but the drawing list will stay open until midnight on October 31. You must register ONLINE to be entered in the promotion.

When and where are the conferences? Glad you asked. Here's our 2014 conference calendar:

• January 24-25 - Denver, CO (Denver Marriott South)
• February 7-8 - Irvine, CA (Irvine Marriott)
• February 21-22 - Irving/DFW, TX (Dallas Marriott Las Colinas)

My message series this year will lift you up for God: Inspired! ~ Reaching Beyond What Holds You Back. You'll be inspired to look at your life differently--spiritually, relationally, and personally. In addition to Sally, each of the events will feature speakers you know and love: Sarah Mae (CO), Ruth Schwenk (CA), and Chrystal Hurst (TX). Sarah Clarkson will share her insights on artful living at all of the events, and there will also  be workshop speakers, inspiring worship, a lovely banquet lunch, and great books. It will be a wonderful year. I hope many of you will be able to join us! We shall have a grand time and go back to our homes stronger and with more peace and empowered to build homes for our God.

If you're ready to register, click on over right now to MomHeartConference.com and be prepared to be Inspired!

To celebrate our new site, ITakeJoy.com and MomHeart.org, along with 6 years Sally has been writing, we will have a full week of giveaways!!! Please help us celebrate by sharing our new site with your friends!!

Launch Week Giveaway Day #4

Enter to win our launch week giveaways with rafflecopter below!!

One Ticket to MomHeart Conference 2014

Conference Dates and States:

JANUARY 24-25: Denver/Littleton, CO

FEBRUARY 7-8: Irvine/OC, CA

FEBRUARY 21-22: Irving/DFW, TX

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***Used blog 10/7/21 Romance still lives in my heart---someone has to have ideals! {Launch Week Giveaway #3}

Robert_Thegerström_Lättja

Robert Thegerstrom; Lattja

This picture makes me long for a mountain breeze, a deep hammock, a cup of tea, an engrossing book and an open-ended afternoon.

I can probably swing one of those, the open-ended afternoon being perhaps the most elusive of the four. But one can dream!

In many ways these beautiful classic art pieces are evidence of ideals I have in my own life. Perhaps they're indicative of the way I wish life were, more often than it actually is. Perhaps you, too find yourself longing for life to be more settled, more peaceful, more predictable, more tame than you find it.

As I wrote several years ago in my book, The Mom Walk ...

"I am a deeply romantic woman, always yearning for a picture-perfect home--fires on the hearth with feasts and laughter nearby, pleasant and gracious conversations, an ambience of beauty and peace. I write about my ideals. I breathe my ideals in the secret moments of my life. I want a picture-perfect marriage where I am adored and appreciated. I want my children to be healthy, happy, and harmonious. I want strong friendships and a stable community with friends. I want an extended family to be close to us and to provide my children with love and support and lots of godly input. I want there to be money for all the bills, a home that isn't always exploding with messes, and time to sit and read a good book and ponder life.

These longings are not wrong. Ideals and the desire for beauty are simply the echoes of God's design in our hearts. He was the one who designed the world to be a masterpiece of wonder and life. The yearning for peace, health, and comfort is natural to our souls and comes from the depths of our hearts where we can still feel and imagine what God created life to be before the fall."

I think God is the biggest Idealist of all. He created everything in a perfect state, and someday He will "restore all things." (Acts 3:21.) I think He understands my heart's longing for a beautiful life and fulfilling relationships.

I think He feels just the same way I do. When I long for life to line up with His ideals, I reflect His own heart. When I create pleasing settings, soothe ruffled feelings, play beautifully crafted music, offer grace to a tired and cranky child, or prepare a hearty meal that fills stomachs and enriches souls as we share ideas around the table, I remind those who share in the moments with me that we are, indeed, sons and daughters of a King, meant for more than workaday life in this broken world.

Though I still wish for an "Anne of Green Gables" neighborhood, where friends come by and sit on my porch over a cup of tea to talk, and my children have only a g-rated world in which to live, I can still craft my own home to be such a sanctuary. And when my children store these pictures of moments shared in the treasure chest of their hearts, they are more likely to always remember what they were made for and how to hold fast to His ideals their whole life.

How can you remind those around you, today?

Blessings,

Sally

To celebrate our new site, ITakeJoy.com and MomHeart.org, along with 6 years I have been writing, we will have a full week of giveaways!!! Please help us celebrate by sharing our new site with your friends!!

Launch Week Giveaway Day #3

Enter to win our launch week giveaways with rafflecopter below!!

Dancing With My Father by Sally Clarkson {3 copies}

dancingwithfathercover

Dayspring Fullness of Joy Mug (3 Winners)

(Regularly $9.99---ON SALE for only $4.99 THIS WEEK!!)

fullnessofjoymug

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