Harvesting Godly Character

Jacob blessing Joseph’s Children 1656

Rembrandt, Jacob blessing the children of Joseph

”Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” --Aristotle

Rembrandt became a master of light and  a detailed painter, exquisite faces by training, practice, and years and years of painting, over and over and over again--practice. And so it is with any craft, skill, degree or accomplishment.

However, it is also true of character and a Christian testimony--

the character that is habituated to improving, developing integrity by practice, stretching to work hard, to do the best, to exceed expectations comes from daily practice and personal integrity.

Those whose ideals are set high and aim each day to pursue those ideals will have the opportunity to become excellent in any field.

This comes from an inner grid, the way one learns to see life and expects himself to live. We called this "self-government," when we trained excellence of character into the very fiber of our children's souls.

Each year, I purpose to visit my children, & invest leisure hours to be with themto discuss life, to see what they are thinking. Seeing them care greatly about issues of morality, faith; watching them understand the need to uphold God's character in the market places of life, hearing convictions and desires to impact their arenas for Christ, heartened this mama's soul.

Being together like this & discussing these important issues was reminiscent of all of the years we discussed truth, history, morality, the need for obedience, personal righteousness and a stewardship of the gospel. Their adult hearts were shaped by endless days of soul investment in our home when they were little. God would take my fish and loaves and through His spirit, stir their hearts. It is possible to watch God transform lives of little ones into adults who care deeply about the things of God. Passion, inspiration, obedience, a love for truth is learned by our children, family, friends, from seeing it modeled and being captured by the life coming from a real live person--you!

It has made me realize, again, that I would so love to help encourage, inspire, train women to own their lives by learning how to establish foundations of these important convictions in the lives of their own children. Consequently, I will be doing a series on character qualities studying the character of Christ.

I have been surrounded by mediocrity, compromise and substandard Christians in several public arenas and personal situations lately. Our children have experienced the same in their worlds. I have asked myself, with the image of the living God imprinted upon my very being, shouldn't I, and all true believers,  be able to call forth excellence and integrity as a reflection of Him in my life.

"As a man sows, so shall he reap." Galatians 6:7

Yet, excellence and integrity is a personal issue.

One can only become this way through a personal commitment, a vision of oneself, and a decision that says,

"Regardless of what is happening around me, I will be the best I can be, work the hardest I am able, pursue the highest standards--especially for my personal life where no one but God sees--because I have been bought with a price and have His Holy Spirit residing within. So my worship of Him requires that I pursue the standard of His Holiness as an affirmation of His reality in my life."

Whether as a mother training the character of children, filling their minds with excellent writers, artists, thinkers, or as a woman being a steward of every aspect of her life, one can only become excellent by stretching, determining to obey His still small voice and then using every resource to pursue bringing His light and imprint upon this world.

This labor of excellence, personally and in the lives of our children, may/will take many long years--but if we are not committed to pursuing whatever it takes to build this excellence, then what hope does our future have--and even more, how can we represent Him, who has given all?

Paul said, "Follow me as I follow Christ." We are called to become leaders that others can follow and emulate. With every year of faith, there should be more of Him reflecting through our lives.  It is not a choice, it is a call on our lives. We cannot say, "I am a Christian, but I think I will make "c's or d's" in my character choices. We aim high because the love of Christ compels us.

I'm not speakingng about being legalism--but, talking about what we should expect as royalty--children created in His image to be like Him in our worlds.

Do you see the holiness of God being portrayed through the choices and behavior of Christians that you know?

Jesus gives us a mandate but then waits for us to make a choice to follow and obey.

Hold Fast to Love, Laughter, Beauty. In the end, it is your Grace.

IMG_4818

This early morning I am listening to Ralph Von Williams on my Pandora and sometimes switching to Alexander Desplaut, two of my favorite composers of film music. I poured myself a cup of Yorkshire tea and lit all the candles around me. Indulging myself by looking at velvety red roses in a vase that I found on sale at the grocery store is bringing me much pleasure.  Afterall, I am an adult and I can buy myself flowers once in a while when I think I need them! I am looking out my windows on tall, lean pines amidst the bluish-purpleish gray sky, with gleaming white snow peaking out from Pike's peak.

IMG_4207

I have taken literally thousands of pictures of beautiful flowers, sunrises, scenes in nature I find because it is a sort of worship in the moment a recognizing His fingerprints as I go through my days.

I am taking time to love Jesus and tell Him how very happy I am that He is real and with me--that He has painted the sky and made music to stir my soul and that He is with me loving me. I am seeking to cultivate love notes to heaven as I appreciate the lover who is invisible but here in my life today.

Last week, teaching a Bible study I have hosted for 10 years, I mingled with a variety of sweet women varied in age and in life puzzles. Flying one more time, I spent time with dear, inner-circle friends I have long known in California, Joy's friends, my children and some new women I met through graduation at Biola, ending on a cherished friend as I came home from a week of travel.

Many beautiful, precious women who have deep burdens to bear--a prodigal son or daughter; a heavy and dark marriage partner who refuses to love or give grace; many with chronic illness--cancer, pain, many living quietly with years of heart-break they bear in silence.

A truly lovely single mom was abandoned by her husband for a woman he met on facebook. I could go on. I am familiar with deep sadness in my own life, some things I will never be able to share publicly because I believe in loyalty and protection of my family from the public eye. It is my sacred trust to bear up through dark passages and to trust it just to Him, as He has promised to be with me.

We are subject all round us to the consequences of a fallen world--so beautifully made, so scarred and marred by the illness of our own souls that has created havoc, abounding in so many corners of life.And there it is for our children to figure out. Innocence and hope are my heart's desire--to be like a child fully delighting in life. But God has trusted me with adulthood and so I bow to His will.

Much of the sadness or at least sad circumstances will be with these precious women, who are in my heart, for many, many years--if not their whole lives.

But the circumstances of their lives do not need to define who they are or how they live.

Home is a place to light a candle in the darkness, to bring hope to sadness, to celebrate that He has overcome the world. Yet, making home the best place to be requires a grid that says, "I am the one called to bring light."

I often hum the old Steve Green song from scripture, "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

I have added my own verses, "Do not be overcome by darkness, but overcome darkness with light."

"Do not be overcome by hatefulness, but overcome hatefulness with love."

"Overcome death with life."

"Overcome sadness with joy and celebration in the midst of the mundane."

The invisible, the Lover, the maker of beauty, the servant King is in our midst as a devoted Father. He is a bridegroom preparing a wedding feast. He is a wonderful counselor who has compassion on us when we feel lost. He is a shepherd who lays down His life for his sheep and leads them beside still waters.

As long as I keep my soul alive by dwelling in His presence, remembering the roles he plays in my own life, as long as I cultivate and practice a heart of love and give it and live in it, I can overcome the darkness--all darknesses of my soul here on earth.

But love and beauty and faith must be cultivated daily, in His presence, looking for His reality, so that my heart will be filled with the reality of Him and His overcoming goodness and redeeming light.

The glory of a woman is her ability to stir up Life and light in this dark world.

We are born to civilize, to encourage, to inspire, to heal.

Women are most beautiful when they are engaged in creating the reality of His life and love wherever they go. But this love comes from intentional cultivation--it is the grid that we see life through--

I am created to be an overcomer, an artist who leaves beauty, a counselor who brings peace, a magician who brings hope and comfort in the very midst of despair, laughter and joy amidst the draining moments.

I am given the possibility of leaving a fragrance of words that bring hope, inspiration, affirmation to one who is starving for soul food.

And so today, I become a co-creator with Him, who is the source of all that is beautiful and good--celebrating His reality into the midst of this puzzle that is called my life.

The strength of any woman is built on a foundation of what she cherishes, practices, waters, cultivates.

Love is there, waiting to strengthen--the soul of a great woman depends on Him flowing in and through her every day.

11058673_10204877145783089_4549767520792398638_n

A Life Story & A Call to Worship Amidst Daily Work

 

Do you ever find yourself caught up in the duty of life so much that you emotionally check out from your children, and even from God? Sometimes lately, I have felt dry in my heart from too much work and responsibilities. I don't want to just think of God in my sleepy, not long enough quiet time. But I hope this summer, I will cultivate a "present" heart--one that chooses to engage in worship in His presence as I go about my day. My long-time friend Pam was talking about this from a first hand experience. Reflect on how to make this real in your own life.

**************************

This past summer I was able to travel to Africa for the second time to participate in missions work in Kampala, Uganda. Our church supports full time time missions there and both trips have provided numerous lessons for me to bring back home, teach to others, and incorporate in my own spiritual journey. The more available I am to receive from the people of Uganda, the more impact has been made in my personal faith.

One lesson I brought home this past summer occurred in the slum of Banda. I call it a “city on a hill." Banda is the only slum in Kampala which is situated on hill. Normally slums are crammed into urban areas where terrible drainage issues exist.  Therefore the slums are susceptible to flooding regularly.

The Banda Artisans, our bead makers, reside on the hilltop alongside a rock quarry where many have lost loved ones. The ladies who make up this thriving ministry are given an opportunity to develop a sustainable income through the crafting and selling of  beads.

Our missionaries disciple and minister to the women while making a monthly purchase of beads, which then travel back to the United States to sell. The salary the women receive provide school fees for children, home repairs, and medical expenses. If you want to know more about this unique ministry, you can find it at www.aggiesarts.org

During our mission trip we spend many days in Banda growing our relationships with these precious women, learning from one another, and enjoying the oneness in Christ we share together. This has become one of my favorite points of ministry while in Africa.

This past summer while visiting Banda as we were celebrating the Lord with music and dancing, I had the perfect view of people leaving the city and walking up the hill into the slum. I noticed a woman heading back to her home place gracefully balancing a basket of bananas with her skirt flowing with each step she made. The nearer she got to our little circle of praise the more determined she looked. She directly approached our group and as you can see from the photo, passes off her basket to a nearby available woman.

Next, the lady joins into our circle of praise, song, and dance. She worships for several minutes, then turns to take her basket, places it back on her head, and goes on her way. As I processed my trip and all the Father taught me, this picture kept coming back to mind.

What if everyone, including myself, was that available to drop whatever we were doing at a moment’s notice to worship the Lord when the opportunity presented itself?

This lesson came to me when I heard a teaching on John Chapter 4 where Jesus is speaking with the Samaritan woman. As Jesus is revealing Himself to her, he says the following:

“Believe me woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem…. A time is coming and has now come when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshippers the Father seeks.”

This is what God is doing. He is raising up worshippers!

We get to decide, by faith, whether we will lay down our work, our circumstances, and our trials to participate, in the divine calling to worship.

It changes everything because it places God on the throne of our lives in place of our  momentary burdens and afflictions. It changes everything because when God is on the throne of our lives rather than our agenda, He is glorified in and through our lives, others are drawn to Him, and His kingdom advances.

Will you lay down your basket of worry, fear, anxiety, heartache, you name it, today? Will you choose to worship God who rescued, redeemed and is restoring you? It is my prayer for each of you this day.

Amen.

Blessings,

Pam Graves

Graduation Wisdom-What words will your children remember, forever?

There were words, phrases, that my children heard us say over and over again. We wanted to plant ideas, truth about the word of God and about His ways, that would speak to them the  rest of their lives about how to live every moment wisely for Jesus and His Kingdom.

What words of wisdom will you children repeat that they cherished in your home? What would they say are the wise sayings, the wise words that would get at the ideals they see in your home, watch in your relationships, model during the unseen moments of your life?

This week, I am busy morning till night with my sweet family, (minus Sarah in England).

Joy, my baby, is graduating from Biola University tomorrow and we have been celebrating her all week, as well as gathering with our friends here, her friends and hearing all sorts of "Moving into Life" wisdom.

I love being "us" and indeed our family is like a little club together. We all know our mutual personality flaws, the differences between us, we have weathered life together, but we are all each other's favorite people. How sweet to celebrate these events with other dear friends who were in the area.

Seeing all of these great young adults moving on to their adult lives inspires me to keep pursing our own family ideals. Just thought I would put a poster up to encourage you in some of the things Clay and I have been talking with the kids about--we have talked for years and years about these things, and they still are a major part of our conversation--only now, it is our children saying these things to us!

Happy Weekend.

Living Out of the Box upsets people, but leads to Freedom

Holy--to be set apart, not conforming to the world, but being transformed--by the wild and uncontainable God and following His lead, whatever path it takes.......

Something I wrote a couple of years ago and was thinking about today. What do you think?

How happy I am to have Sarah home for my Saturday morning trek to my little French cafe.

We had far too much to catch up on and talked and talked and talked. A breath of fresh air to my soul to be with her. Our family tends to think out of the box--we discuss everything and challenge all Christian thought and live wildly, hysterically, celebrating-ly, with feasts and lots of freedom, within the walls of our home. I think it is genetic in our family.

My children have all said, "I wonder what people would think if they really knew what we believed and how we lived, that we are pretty out of the box and free to enjoy life."

Hmmmmm--so Christians aren't supposed to have too much fun or live wildly or freely--or question supposed Christian authorities--or celebrate life too much or live free from condemnation and guilt?

One of us posed the question this morning, "Wouldn't it be great some day if we didn't care what people thought?

A hazard of living in the public eye, I suppose.

But, I do love to move beyond the "expectations" and figure out what really is authentic in life, what really matters, how to experience the joy we were designed to know, every day, and to see the God that is not a tame lion--

So, do any of you like living out of the box of legalism, expectations, condemnation, rules, peer pressure, or feared criticism?

Hmmmm Jesus pretty much upset those who lived in the box of his day--as a matter of fact, he got crucified for being out of the box, and not fitting in with the "leaders."

Just saying I am thinking about this today.............

************************************

And more,...,

 I keep coming back to this concept. I meet so few people, that when I am with them, their influence makes me  want to love God  more, be more idealistic, live more by wild faith and life-sacrificing love.

And yet I find myself amidst  so many who are overloaded with the mundane tasks, feeling bored, dead of soul...

When the life of Jesus is in our midst, there is a palpable crackle in the air, a sparkle to the lights and shadows of His dance amongst us.

Imagine--the creator of the universe--the one who played games with galaxies and atoms, romantic love and sunsets--He in our midst.

And yet, most people I know, including me so much of the time, live as though their feet are tied to the ground by heavy loads of duty, works, "shoulds", guilt and worry and sighing, comparing, inadequacy,boredom through the days.

He did not create us to live in such a way. He came to give life--and life abundantly. The joy of the Lord is to be our strength--and yet--what have the voices of this world done to our joy?

What have the messages of today's church done to mount "should do's", measuring righteousness by the boxes of theology instead of by the people we love and those we serve a cup of cold water or share our coats with;

caused us to measure our self-worth by the outside appearance,  instead of the inner glory of the heart?

The "How to's" instead of lessons in humility and redeeming the lost? The accomplishment instead of the faith exhibited? Who in your life points you,  passionately, irresistibly into the arms of a loving God, a gentle shepherd, a compassionate Father, an interesting artist, to show us the God  who longs for us to live, celebrate life, exist above the present mundane and to perceive the invisible life of the Kingdom He is shaping through us for eternity.

Is it any wonder when college students lose their faith, because Christianity has been for them a list of moral rules that do not captivate imagination or stir hearts  that long to find purpose and to be a part of a great cause?

A laying on of guilt? A living by works? When it is He--Jesus--the Life--that we were to be living graphically, incarnationally, realistically in our home by relentlessly pursuing His love in our actions? His truth? His excellent and deeply fulfilling plan for our lives?

Knowing Him should create in us a powerful sense of life, excellence, expectancy from a heart filled with faith, love and anticipation.

So, I ask you today--are you finding deep fulfillment and a bubbling up of love from deep within? A feeling of heaven meeting earth in your home right where you are today? Are you sensing the pleasure of God as you see the color of spring? The beauty surrounding the moments of your life?

It is only in pursuing Him, the Life that coming into the world, enlightens every man--not rules or laws or formula or morality---but the Person--who has so very much more to offer those of us who would leave all behind, and sell all that we have to grasp and hold fast to the pearl of great price.

But, to find Him and to live vibrantly in the reality of His ways and His presence, requires living out of the box.

So, how about you? In the box or out?

10 Creative Ways of Pursuing God Throughout My Day as I Pray

As I am traveling this week,  you will have an opportunity to hear from several of my dear friends who are helping me here on the blog. Today's post is by Cherie Werner and what she shares is so dear to my heart:

Have you ever overslept only to wake up then frantically rush about the day feeling overwhelmed, impatient, and frustrated. There is a poem, The Difference that has encouraged me to remember the value of connecting with God before embarking upon my day. The last stanza reads, "I woke up early this morning and paused before entering the day. I had so much to accomplish that I had to take time to pray.”

Honestly, I don't always manage to begin my day quietly at the feet of Jesus for various reasons. Thankfully God is not about a checklist.

Prayer is the way we speak, listen, and commune with God. Through God, all things are possible, and prayer allows us to partner with Him. When I rush into my day relying on my strength without connecting and praying, my days seem to be more difficult. I notice that whenever I forget to pray or neglect to pray, I tend to have less patience and am more agitated. When I pray and read God's word, I am changed and can cope better with the stresses of life.

"We cannot pour out what has not first been placed inside," - Sally Clarkson

If you feel like you don’t have time to pray, FIND TIME and be intentional. If it means getting up a few minutes earlier, set your clock or maybe try going to bed later. Make time, it will be worth it.

Personally I have felt inadequate when praying. When examining my struggles related to praying, I realized that I sought the perfect method. Eventually, I realized God was not interested in formulas, a checklist, or perfection but rather he desires intimacy.   God created each of us with a longing for intimacy -- intimacy with Him. Remember, Intimacy never involves one person. You cannot know someone you don’t spend time with. Intimacy develops as a result of close contact with God. As I relentlessly pursued Him throughout the day, it made prayer no longer cumbersome and daunting.

A little creativity when praying has deepened my intimacy with the Father plus made our times together fun, exciting, and adventurous.

10 creative ways of pursing God throughout my day as I pray

1) I enjoy prayer arrows that are short prayers sent throughout my day. A few of my favorites are:

• "Lord, guide me. Amen"
• "Dear Lord, empty me of myself and fill me with Your Holy Spirit, in Jesus name I pray. Amen"
• "Lord – give me patience in this difficult situation, in Jesus name. AMEN"

2) I enjoy praying in different places and at different times of the day or night.

3) When approaching or passing an accident I pray aloud for those involved (firefighters, police, and paramedics who keep us safe) plus I ask that those coming upon the accident would have patience. A siren reminds me to pray for everyone involved.

4) I am often prompted to pray for others as I look at my facebook and Instagram feeds.

5) When I read or hear about a troubling issue, I pray for the people involved.

6) I Timothy 2:1-2 exhorts us to pray for all men and those in authority.

7) When reading the Bible, I enjoy finding a few meaningful verses to meditate on and use them when I pray. After all, God has given us His Word which contains endless material for praise and petition.

Roman 12:9-10 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

• Sometimes I’ll turn the verse into a prayer. "Lord help me to love others. May I hate evil and grasp firmly to what is good. I want to honor others. Amen
• Sometimes I enjoy taking the verse and creating an image to share with others via social media.

8) I enjoy listening to worship music throughout my day, filling my heart with praise and adoration for Jesus.

9) I enjoy praying in the moment verses telling someone I will pray later for them especially if they have asked for prayer or have vulnerably shared with me.

10) I find it fun to ask Holy Spirit who He wants me to pray for. I enjoy partnering with Him as it’s often adventurous. There have been times I felt prompted to approach someone with words of encouragement or ask them if they had something or someone that may need prayer.

Jesus is the Lover of your soul and desires for you to pour out your heart to Him. The seeds of intimacy will grow abundantly and eventually, you'll begin to know and hear His voice and ways. However, it takes time to learn how to accurately hear Him but becomes easier the more you are in His presence.

Do you know God intimately? Remember, He is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Philippians 2:13

A Choice to Flourish in the Boring Pathways of Life

Fifty-five women clustered in groups of 3's, 5's, 10's around the cozy table of our local coffee shop. Chattering, ordering coffee, quiche and soup, all seemed so very happy to be together as adults, as women, enjoying a rare time away from the daily grind. When I am going to be out of town on the night of our monthly Bible study, I reserve a local coffee shop for our evening together--just for us. So nice to have owners who love us and give generously to our group, after we have dubbed them our favorite coffee cafe for over 2 years now.

After our time of study, I always open it up for any question and spend about 10 minutes just addressing issues we all share.

"Sally, how did you live through all the mundane boring days where one day melted into another? Did you ever just feel like you were overwhelmed with the mundane tasks of it all? I feel like a prisoner in my own home."

It is true that all of us find ourselves amidst repeated chores, duties, and responsibilities--part of being an adult, part of eating, sleeping, living in this world--and often a challenging part when we feel we have no help or friends to carry the burdens.

Another mama, the next day, wrote almost the same letter. "I am dying here. Want to quit homeschooling but feel to guilty to do so. What should I do? I have been at it for 15 years."

Sometimes I see that moms have lost their vision along the way to live lives of ideals. Sometimes they just get lost in the journey, feel lonely, unappreciated, unnoticed and wonder if they are making a difference.

Though I will address some of these issues later this summer, after Joy graduates and I give her the party with all of her friends, after her's and Sarah's birthdays, after I return from California, after I get through with 6-8 weeks of therapy for my back and leg that has been so painful, after I turn in the manuscript for the Bible study guide for my new book, after my leadership intensive, after after after! :) We all have full plates.

1. Take the free short Myers-Briggs test at Truity.com and find out your personality. Access if you think the description of you is true.  I am fully between an Enfj and an Enfp--mostly leaning toward an ENFP at this point. It means I hate to be boxed in, I love variety, I enjoy personal relationships, I am an idealist--(no surprises there!)

Many years ago, I realized that I needed to take my personality needs into account when considering what kind of life I would shape for my family so I could last better, longer. And so, I included in my life: music, experiences, adventure, interesting opportunities, personal relationships, creating community, etc. If God made me the mother of these children, he made me the way I needed to be to fulfill His purposes.Who I am is enough to fulfill His will for my life. I do not have to live someone else's life.

On hard days, if we were fussing too much and all felt like prickles, I would throw the kids in the car, give them some little snacks to munch on, put on a fun book on tape to listen to-exciting and adventurous or a wonderful sweet story, and drive. I found places in my area that would get us all outside and give us fun. Parks, hikes, bookstores, museums, frozen yoghurt places, interesting places where they could run or swim or engage their own little needs and personalities--even my little 5 star hotel where we could have a hot chocolate on a cold snowy day--and if we did not have enough money--I would get 2 mugs full and make them split! Getting out on some impossible days helped all of us settle down.

Why do people insist on living by duty and so called "authorities "voices that limit their own fun or interest? We have great freedom in the Lord to use our own brains, our own values to live into His will for our lives, if we are basically orthodox in our beliefs and the way we practice them.

Sometimes our lives seem overwhelmingly mundane because we are choosing to live boring lives.

When shaping my own plan, I knew that reading, discussing, devotions, engaging and giving a verbally rich environment was the best I could offer my children, so I did not limit our education to the lists and formulas and curriculum ways of others, as I trusted God that He had given me a will to use my imagination within the wise counsel I read about and the input I had taken in.

And so, when my adult children got into schools I did not even dream of, (Oxford, Cambridge, Yale, Berklee, New York Film Academy) I could see that reading, giving freedom to develop their own muscles emotionally, mentally and spiritually and engaging them in life,  helped them all to grow into the person God made them to be and gave them a more than adequate education and rich life. Formulas would never have worked for my family as they would have been bored and so would I have been.

2. Get rest and refreshment If you are exhausted, take some time to sleep, give yourself a break from responsibility fatigue. Play and recreation can be so healthy for your well-being. Some of the things I have added over the years are tea or coffee breaks every day--for me and 15 minutes of pleasure to do what I want. Taking a French cooking class with my girls. Going out to breakfast with my teen boys. Playing tennis as a family. Having Clay take the kids out sometimes on a Saturday so I could do something fun with a friend or just stay home and watch a movie or take a bath or whatever.

3. Don't do life alone Whether  you are an introvert or extravert, you were made for relationships. Seek people who have your values or who can build into your life. I meet with an older friend I met from mutual Austrian mission experiences as often as possible when we are both in town. We share so many values, tastes and life appetites in common. When I am particularly down, I call her and we gather. I also have regular lunches, breakfasts with a group of friends that have been meeting for 9 years now and we do ministry and life together. We are different ages, different in personality and go to different churches, but I invited them over for lunch some years ago just once a month and from that we committed to each other.

If you do not have friends around you, read books by inspiring people--(books were my mentors amidst 17 moves!) Go to a seminar, volunteer in a ministry, do something--give of yourself and invest in others.

Walking miles each day, especially in natural, beautiful places, writing, playing music all the time, using my intuition to plan new ideas, projects, writing, speaking, traveling--and then figuring out how to pay for it--and regarding my children's needs and commitments as well as Clay's when I make plans. Making the mundane parts of my life as interesting and easy as possible have helped me to endure with grace. Simplify your expectations--you will never be in control, you will never get it all done, there are always new challenges around the corner, so prepare yourself for these life occurences.

4. Make it a goal to seek out wise women, those more mature than you, those whose lives you would like to emulate. 

"He who walks with the wise will be wise, a companion of fools suffers harm." This verse is not just for children--it is for you. Don't spend lots of time on vanity, empty websites, television, books, people who bring you down. You know if you are compromising your life--turn away from harmful influences and repent (go the other way) and ask for God's help. Jeremiah tells us if we walk after emptiness, we shall become empty. What you allow yourself to think will take hold in your life. The values you cultivate will grow in your heart. Determine to walk on the road to excellence one step at a time. Invest in the ideals you want to pursue--don't allow your heart to become addicted to women who pull you down, give you excuses to compromise your life in any way, tell you its ok to move in immoral directions. Avoid consummate complainers, those who criticize many people, those who always blame others for their difficulties or have a habit of shaking their fist at God.

Instead seek out the holy, the lovely, the good. What you seek after will determine what you become--where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. But seek first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Seems to me that seeing results always took longer than I thought they should but now when I look back I see how gently, strongly, intentionally, wisely God was directing and training and fulfilling his ways in my life.

5. Use your God-given imagination--it is part of the Holy Spirit to fill us with ideas, give us beauty, open doors, enlarge our boundaries. Part of being a mature believer is to use your mind, desires, convictions, dreams, enjoyment to create life in your own life.

Do it today--Own Your Circumstances, Own your design, Own your puzzle and make it an interesting, god-glorifying place to live or at least slowly move into that direction. Don't be a victim to your life's duties, find ways to make it personally fulfilling.

Off to work on bringing some color into my black and white duties of life right now. Praying blessing for each of you.

For lots and lots more ideas, read:

Own Your Life

                                                            Educating the Wholehearted Child

Seasons of A Mother's Heart (Dealing with all the seasons we experience as homeschooling mamas.)

Keep a good sense of humor or you will never make it!

Is it possible that my youngest, my wonderful Joy, is graduating from college?

Mays are so often busy for all of us, and this one is no exception for me. Can't believe that Joy is graduating in just a couple of weeks and moving ahead to bigger things. As I am preparing for her senior party, her birthday, another trip to California, and all the family gathering, I am putting regularly scheduled commitments and life chores aside and accepting my limitations to "get it all done." And I am determined to enjoy each day, and notice in the minutes the grace of God. It is more my nature during this season to be a "Martha," instead of a "Mary", but little by little God is changing me and teaching me not to take everything too seriously.

In the midst of slumber-partying last weekend, we were looking at pictures, sharing old stories and this one came up. And I remember, to "lighten up" one more time and to take time for a sense of humor.

A few years ago, we fell into bed as we returned home from 4 national conferences. Suitcases full of dirty clothes, mail piled high, a general disarray in our home. I, with tear filled eyes, simpered into the den where my children were lounging on couches and said, "We have to get this house cleaned up. I know it will take a lot of work and none of us feel like it, but it's got to be done." tears streaming, sad face, grumpy look.......

My 6'-5", tender-hearted  Joel, put his arm around my shoulders gently and said, "Mom, we know the routine. We can get it cleaned up and then it will just get messy again and then we will clean it up again. But when you are sad, we feel guilty.

"So lighten up, Mom, and then we can all be happy, cause when you are happy we feel good,  and we will still get it all done."

How true. Lighten up. It isn't that big of a deal. Practicing celebrating life, putting on loud music while cleaning, choosing to smile and laugh and be gentle and asking forgiveness if/when my attitude  was blown--all in the life of a house full of sweet sinful, flawed, but darling people. As Joel says, it is all just going to happen again.

And so, these many years later, I still need to remember his admonition, even amidst different circumstances.

Today I have, done a whole year of business expenses to turn in for reimbursement; arranged for 3  medical tests and sat in urgent care for 3 hours; (how did I injure my leg? I have been walking miles a day for years and years!) worked on Joy's graduation party, talked on the phone for 2 hours to 2 different children making big decisions and needing input,  (now it is where to go to graduate school and what plane to take home from Oxford and how to figure the dates.)

I stopped for  a mug of coffee at my local favorite place because I had never even eaten breakfast and it was 2:30,  put together a packing list for the weekend when we leave for a trip back to Ca; met with my Bible study group tonight and taught for 2 hours and still have lots I have not been able to do. And now bed calls again...........!

But God prompted me to stop and look at what is obvious--4 children who love us and are growing, a long-suffering husband, plenty to eat, a warm bed (I love my bed), His presence and knowledge of His love and Fatherhood and desire to take care of me; a beautiful spring day and ability to see the snow-covered mountains as I attempt to take my daily 2 mile walk.

When I stand back to make a list of all the ways I am blessed, my heart eases and my spirit fills with gratefulness--

but I needed that moment to consider, to count my blessings over my cup of coffee--it was essential.

And so, the rest of the day, I will "lighten up" in order to make it through it all with grace---because when I am sad or overwhelmed, everyone feel guilty. And when I am happy, all feel happier.

Hope you are all faring well and enjoying this spring day.

Thanks for your patience with me and all of you who are praying, and helping with all the issues of ministry and life on my plate this season. I so appreciate you and love you with all of my heart!

Own your life today, this day. Own your attitudes. Own your legacy. Own your ability to have joy.

So tomorrow I will smile more, kiss more cheeks, breathe in grace and make it a day to remember. That is what I am going to try to do.

The Fallen Kingdom of Our Home

An unexpected storm--Happy Mother's Day, Colorado--Mother's Day, 2015

"In this world you have tribulation, but take courage, I have overcome the world." Jesus

Seems I never know when a storm will come into my life interrupting my plans, my days, my expectations. I had a reasonably calm mother's day planned with a couple of my children, and all sorts of challenges small and big, have interrupted my plans today!

As a matter of fact, the last few days have had so many "interruptions" that I have not announced the winners yet, have not even picked them, and will not be able to until I am back in Colorado on Tuesday.

Yet, I am "the mama," the one who helps right the wrongs, listens to hearts, prays, laughs, gives all of myself, even on Mother's Day, because it is part of my learned role--to care for those in my charge as Jesus did--even in the midst of an unexpected storms of life.

Right in the smack dab middle of Jesus loving, teaching, encouraging, and training his disciples, they simply embark on crossing the familiar lake where they have lived all of their lives, and suddenly a life-threatening storm overtakes them.

What could Jesus possibly be thinking? Does he want to lose all of his disciples at once? Is he trying to discourage them? Afterall, they had given up their whole lives to follow Him. Their hearts were dedicated to worshipping Him. They were busy serving other people---really, now this? Is this any way to treat those who are following you? And so sometimes the "whaps" on our lives feel personal, invasive, too much.

Have you ever felt that way? I have cooked. I have washed dishes. I have lost years of sleep. I have loved and served and given--does anyone notice? Does it matter? --and now this? Another storm? Another problem? The relentlessness of life is about to drown me, Lord. "Do you not care that we are perishing, Lord?" That is the question that we, like the disciples, have on our hearts.

Just when we have the ideals of our lives in place, and we have defined what the Kingdom of home is,  and we determine to commit to creating our homes as a place where the life of Christ will flourish, storms  and battles begin to overtake us, and we feel that we may be overcome.

If you are experiencing weariness of discouragement, it just means you are engaged in the battle. The battle and its raging are not a measure of your success or failure--but how you respond in the battle will determine the outcome. Often, people have said, "Well, I am glad Sally has ideals, but that is not what my life looks like and I don't even know how to get there."

My life was a constant swirl of ideals and reality, grace and storm, walking in faith, and railing against heaven--this is the picture of fighting to bring light into a dark world, and the home is no different.

I know that I am  mixing  metaphors and have moved from storms of life to the battles, but hopefully you know what I mean. But, when we determine to make our homes a place of life, Satan is determined to thwart us. Satan knows that the most precious treasure in God's economy are His children, his handmade creations--those who have souls that will last for eternity. And so the battleground for our future is at the soul level of life.

We are living in homes where the laws of thermo dynamics take place every day--that energy is depleting at a constant rate and everything is moving toward disorder. Knowing this--understanding that it will never change--and give yourself grace. Do not expect perfection. Do not condemn yourself or become angry at your children because they are not perfect.

Walk in grace. Celebrate life. Look for joy in the corners of your life. Always find a friend to pray with, to share life with, who holds your ideals and values. Know that all moms have the same issues--just different puzzles to put together.

Our children are sometimes selfish and sinful, our husbands (and even we) are fallible and imperfect; things fall apart, get broken, cost money, people are unloving, we are unsupported by the culture around us, and we lack support systems to support the ideals we believe.

In order to know how to raise godly children, we must have a refined picture of the ideals we are aiming for, but the second part of being productive in this venture of motherhood is understanding the battle.

All of our homes are broken, our children are broken and without the grace of God, we will not be able to make it. But, I believe, and have seen, that with God on our side, and with faith, our labor is not in vain, and becomes a story of His power and goodness throughout eternity.

Warfare gives us such great examples. A seasoned general becomes astute in battle because he has been successful in weathering many years of battles, and has learned to fight valiantly and enduringly. An officer at war will also not be able to advance in experience and victory if he does not understand and know how to fight against his enemy.

And so, the kingdom of our home is a battlefield from others who would steal our dominion over our family.

Feeling weary or discouraged or inadequate or guilty from failing is a normal part of the process. You are in training. Engaging in the discipleship of my children became the training ground where little by little I learned what it meant to become a more mature Christian.

But remember this---it is not the people who start the race who win, but those who finish the race.

So, if God calls you to ideals, and you begin running, don't give up--don't quit. Keep building a picture of your ideals, fan the flame of your vision. (More soon about the tension between the vision and the reality of life and how to walk the journey with grace and peace.)

I am discombobulated, writing this on the road, between helping a friend, talking on the phone to my sweet ones  today, and just in the midst of so much. And so many interruptions, I can't get it all done--again!  But as a battle worn, officer of life, I know He will be with me. So I will pray for you, you pray for me and for my children who are targets--What stories we shall tell in heaven and how encouraged we will be to understand that those quiet acts of faith, to keep going, to love one more time, to help another, are when life battles were won.

Love and grace to you precious ones who are in the trenches today. I am right there with you.

 Love and prayers going your way today!

Last Day to sign up for mentoring and Book Giveaways!

Our books! Clay, me and Sarah! We shall be giving away 12 books of ours--enjoy!Happy Mother's Day!

I am spending a few days with my sweet children and a very dear friend. These are some of the books we are giving away. We loved the honor or writing them for you! So I will be taking today off!  For more information on our Whole Heart Books, go HERE! Books by Clay Clarkson Books by Sally Clarkson Books by Sarah Clarkson Date added Price: low to high Price: high to low Name: A to Z Name: Z to A Educating the WholeHearted Child SKU APO2958 $20.00 Seasons of a Mother's Heart SKU APO2965 $13.00 Read for the Heart SKU APO2972 $15.50 The Ministry of Motherhood SKU WBP5825 $13.50 The Mission of Motherhood SKU WBP5818 $13.50 Dancing with My Father SKU WBP7066 $13.50 Wisdom Chasers SKU WHP2129 $12.00 The Mom Walk SKU WHP2198 $12.50 Journeys of Faithfulness SKU APO5857 $12.00 Heartfelt Discipline (2014) SKU WHP2235 $14.50 Desperate SKU NEL4663 $15.50 10 Gifts of Wisdom SKU HFG9707 $11.50 Our 24 Family Ways (2014) SKU WHP2150 $15.50 Caught Up in a Story SKU SFB2259 $9.99 Our 24 Family Ways: Kids Color-In Book SKU WHP2112 $5.99 Own Your Life SKU TYN1281 $14.00 We love words. We love messages. We want to inspire. Leave a comment, share on facebook or twitter and you will be entered in the great Mother's Day Giveaway--and 1 mentoring session on the phone with me. Winners announced tomorrow.  Taking Motherhood to Hearts SKU WHP2273 $10.00