Tending Your Heart (Own Your Life Fridays) Ch. 10

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God’s handwriting.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON

Tending Your Heart and Investing In Your Soul

She called it her treasure chest. I had taken my fifteen year-old son Nathan with me on a special trip to Austria and Poland, the places where I had spent time as a missionary in my twenties. In an open air market in Krakow, I found a special souvenir to take back for Joy. It was a hand-carved box, made of glistening cherry wood, with soft red felt lining on the inside, and a cheerful-looking bear carved onto the top.

It was treasure chest for small treasures.

To my delight, Joy loved the box. She carried it with her everywhere collecting in it little treasures she would find. After playing outside, she would come in and place a beautiful bird feather or a shell in the box. After church, she carefully tucked away a bookmark with a prayer on it. After a trip to the Denver Art Museum, she tenderly folded the small print I bought her of a favorite painting and placed it inside.

She filled her little box to the brim, and at nights her eyes would shine with delight as she would take out each item to cherish them all. “My treasure box reminds me of all the beauty God has put in the world, Mama!”

Joy’s treasure box gave me an image of what it means to cultivate my soul and fill it with truth and beauty. Wherever Joy went, she carried with her a reminder of the light, beauty, and truth of God’s goodness. As Christians with the light of Christ in us, we should have hearts full of God’s treasures—beauty, grace, and truth—to sustain us in the darkness and to offer to others.

To have a rich treasure chest in our hearts, though, we must be intentional about pursuing activities and practices that fill the heart instead of draining it. God has filled the world with delights for us to encounter, and yet our culture often thinks of beauty, delight, art, and music as secondary pursuits which are perhaps a bit frivolous in comparison to the “real” work of being serious and holy.

I would suggest, however, that God wants us to worship him every bit as much in our delight as in our duty.

When we dwell on the extravagant delights God has given us in the world, our hearts are drawn toward Him in worship. When we gaze on God’s gifts of beauty to us, we find our eyes drawn away from the ugliness and sin of the world. Perhaps this is why Paul so sincerely exhorts the Philippians saying, “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things” (Philippians 4:8).

When we fill our hearts with excellence and virtue, we find ourselves with a wealth of God’s goodness to offer others from the treasures we have collected. Just as Joy carefully filled her box, so we must learn to intentionally pursue activities  that will fill the treasure chest of our hearts with good things. We should look for ways to fill our hearts, minds, and spirits with goodness, truth, and beauty—the things that inspire us, cause us to worship God, and bring light to others.

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God’s handwriting. that will fill the treasure chest of our hearts with good things. We should look for ways to fill our hearts, minds, and spirits with goodness, truth, and beauty—the things that inspire us, cause us to worship God, and bring light to others.

Heart, Mind, and Soul Restoration

Life is draining, every moment, all the time. We have bills to pay, work to do, meals to make, people to care for, tasks to complete--and then we must repeat these tasks again and again.

When we are constantly emptying our hearts, minds, and souls, it is essential that we take responsibility to keep filling them up. What we feed our inner bing will determine what we can give to those in our spheres of influence. What we have stored, cherished, and valued in our lives is reflective of our true selves.

If we wish to live out the best virtues of life, we must feed our minds, hearts, and souls upon all that is virtuous. Our souls reflect our true selves. What we have fed upon will be reflected through the ways we live in relationship to people and to the culture at large.

When you learn to take responsibility for your own well-being, you will produce a harvest of influence and grace in every other area that is influenced by your heart health.

An excerpt from Own Your Life, Chapter 10.

Being With Our Children at Christmastime

As it's gotten (a bit!) quieter around the Clarkson house these past few years, I love looking back on memories of previous seasons and the lessons I learned in them ... Half past ten in the evening found me downstairs, dragging my weary body on a tour of my four children's bedrooms to say good night. I had been up since four that morning, and all I could think of was my own bed and how I longed for sleep. Nathan's room was my last stop, and I hoped for a quick good-night so I could finally be through with this stress-filled day.

It was the Christmas season in a new home. All four of my children were lonely, missing the familiarity of friends and the flurry of activity that normally comes with the Christmas bustle.  But thirteen-year-old Nathan, in his extroverted, adolescent-hormone-filled body, had been hit the hardest.  Though he has a heart of gold and was trying hard to use self-control, he had a puppy-dog look in his blue eyes that begged for attention. To be honest, I didn't think I had it in me. I felt drained and wrung out just trying to keep all four children happy and cared for in their restless need for more than I had to give.

I sat on Nathan's bed, prayed a quick good-night prayer, said a hasty "see you in the morning, honey," and bolted for the door in hopes of making a quick retreat to my room. After all,I had fulfilled my obligation as a good mom to "tuck in"all of my children.

Then Nathan's pleading voice quietly taunted me. "Don't you even have a few minutes that we can talk?" I mustered my own self-control, sat back down on his bed, and tried hard not to show my desire to leave as quickly as possible. "What do you want to talk about?" I queried. "Oh, nothing. I just wanted someone to be with." "How about I scratch your back?" He turned over on his bed, and I slowly began to "soft tickle" his back, a phrase coined by our family when Sarah was a little girl. As I began this labor of love, questions, thoughts, ideas, and dreams started pouring out of Nathan's mouth. The longer I scratched his freckled back, the more he seemed to relax.

"I hope someone will ask me to do a magic show at a birthday party soon, Mom. Do you think anyone will see the fliers I put up?...What are we going to do tomorrow?... Do you think we can have an open house for all the neighbors on Sunday?...When do you think we can take a trip back to Colorado? Mom, don't you think Kelsey is a good dog? She doesn't mean to be so wild; she's just a puppy. Sort of like me, I guess.... What do you think we should get Joel for Christmas?... Do you really think I'm a good writer?"

One thought spilled into another as the minutes ticked away. And I could feel my irritation gradually draining away too. I couldn't help thinking how blessed I was to have a teenage child who wanted to share the company of his frumpy mother.

When the spilling out of Nathan's heart seemed to be slowing down, I did one final flurry of scratching his back and then pulled down his T-shirt to close this time of sweet fellowship, which would be in my memory forever.

"Thanks for taking the time, Mom," Nathan said as he gently reached up to kiss my cheek. "It meant a lot to me."

It's hard for all of us--especially in the hurry and flurry of Christmas--to take time to stop and listen to our children.  But I've realized that's the most important thing of all.  If I want my children to be open to hearing the messages I have for them, I must listen to the ones they have for me.  How can you take time to listen to the hearts of the precious ones in your own walls, this Advent season?

(You can read more here: The Ministry of Motherhood!)

A Story Worth Living, A Story Worth Telling

Sweet Friends,

December is a month when we review the amazing story God has allowed us to live by creating our family ministry, Whole Heart Ministries. Would you please join with us as we tell you our story. We are so grateful for all of you who have been a part o the history God has allowed our family to live. Thanks for reading about our history today. Hope to see so many of you at our Mom Heart Conferences this year. May God lead your family to live a story of faith!

It would mean so much to us if you would share with Clay and me a way you have been encouraged through our ministry, conferences or books. We love hearing from you.

Clay and me, Still dreaming by faith, together, about what the next 20 might hold!

The unfolding story of Whole Heart Ministries has been, so far, twenty-one incredible chapters of character development, narrative intrigue, and unexpected plotlines. It’s been a long story, but we’re not ready to write the final chapter. Not yet. Chapter 22, still to be written in 2016, includes a major plot twist that will turn the story in a new direction. And we hope you will continue to be a part of our story.

Hope many of you will join us at our last Mom Heart Conference this year. (Filling up fast!)

Here’s the twist: After twenty wonderful years of hotel conference ministries to mothers we’re saying, “The End!” The 2016 conferences will be the final year of the Mom Heart Conference. But note: It won’t be the final year of Sally speaking to moms. We may just have another conference concept up our sleeve, but at this point, we are praying about the best options of how we can reach more parents. Future events might be smaller and more personal, and more will be online, but Sally is not going away. We’re just slowing down now so we can focus on the heart of the Whole Heart story—writing, publishing, personal discipleship, and ministry training.

Since the beginning of the Whole Heart story in 1994, God has allowed us to encourage and equip countless Christian parents through workshops, book catalogs, hotel conferences, print books, ebooks, international ministry, online ministries, training Intensives, ministry to moms, and more. If it all stopped here, we’d be thankful for our story. But we believe there is still more story to be told.

The Continuing Story of Whole Heart

The heart of our ministry has always been simply to help Christian parents—to encourage and equip them to raise children who will serve God “with a whole heart and a willing mind” (1 Chr 28:9). In a day of seismic cultural change, we want to help families find their place in the grand story of God’s faithfulness to His people. If that is your heart, then we hope you will help us help parents.

Parents write us all the time to tell us their stories. It doesn’t matter if they are here in America or in another land with another language, the language of their parent hearts is always the same:

[Your books] totally changed the mother I am and the way we have decided to parent and disciple our son. We are SO thankful to the LORD for your ministry!

~ a mother in California As the days toil on life frequently becomes rote and lacking in spirit; but reading

Heartfelt Discipline I am refreshed and newly motivated to ensure I am in the Lord’s will. ~ a father in Idaho

“I long to be a mother who builds my children up in the Lord. I purchased Ministry and Mission of Motherhood which I am forever re-reading and have lent to many friends.”

~ a mother in Australia

Christian parents are our mission field. We are missionaries to the Christian home.

Sally’s books have been translated into numerous foreign languages, and our books and ministry reach families all around the world. Mothers are hungry for biblical perspective from a seasoned Titus 2 older woman. Fathers want sound, biblical insight for building a Christian home and raising godly children. Parents want the life of Christ in their family. This is the story God has entrusted to us to write and to tell.

Turning a New Page to a New Chapter of Whole Heart

Like the Apostle Paul, we too “press on toward the goal” (Phi 3:14) of fulfilling Christ’s call on our lives to strengthen families. We want to invest in ministry choices that will last, and that will enable us to last. We want to do what is strategic, not just what is comfortable. We want to leave a story worth reading. And we want to invite you to join us in writing it. Here’s where our story is headed in 2016:

•   WHOLE HEART PRESS: We started Whole Heart Ministries with the vision of writing and publishing books to help Christian parents. That “ministry in print” will always be at the core of the Whole Heart mission as we write and publish new books for moms, dads, kids, families, and small groups.
•   SALLYCLARKSON.COM: Sally’s personal blog reaches tens of thousands of Christian women and mothers every day with biblical encouragement and inspiration. As a bestselling author, she is a trusted and respected voice for the traditional vision and values of motherhood, home, and family.
•   THE LIFEGIVING HOME: Sally’s newest book with Tyndale Momentum, The Lifegiving Home – Creating a Place of Belonging and Becoming (Feb 2), is a portrait of how she built and beautified her own home and influenced her children. It will become a regular theme of Sally’s messages in 2016.
•   AT HOME WITH SALLY: This spring, we hope to launch a new “At Home with Sally” subscription site filled with twenty years of Sally’s audio and video messages, and including exclusive access to new webinars and other online events by Sally. Join early and save. (Target launch date: Mother’s Day.)
•   FAITH-SHAPED FAMILY INITIATIVE: This new Whole Heart initiative will call families back to building a biblical “Christian home.” The FaithShapedFamily.com blog will offer encouragement and ideas, a new book will define the vision, and other resources will equip parents. (Coming this summer.)
•   MOM HEART MINISTRY INITIATIVE: Mom Heart Ministry is a strategic small groups initiative to “restore moms’ hearts to God’s heart for motherhood.” On MomHeart.com, moms can find training, resources, media, encouragement, and connections to be a part of this movement of mothers.
•   MOM HEART INTENSIVES: Nearly fifty mothers attended the first three-day Mom Heart Leader Intensive Training in our home in 2010. Other “Intensives” have followed, and now more are planned in Colorado and around the world as Sally trains mothers to minister to mothers.

Let’s Write a Story Together Worth Reading!

We are, and always have been, just a small, family-run, nonprofit, Christian, faith ministry. All that means is that we trust God to provide financially as we step out in faith. There are two needs we’re trusting God to provide for right now, and in the months ahead. First, we need financial partners who will help us tell the story of God’s heart for the home and family. We need new partners to offset the loss of conference income that has funded our ministry for twenty years. Second, we need partners who will help us reach beyond our current limitations. We want to reach the Spanish-speaking world, expand our online ministry, and train mothers in other countries. A new fund-based online giving platform coming soon will enable us to set giving goals and receive funds dedicated to selected strategic projects.

Your financial gift in December would be greatly appreciated to help us move into 2016 financially healthy and amply supplied to write the story that God gives us. We encourage you to use our online donation page on WholeHeart.org. It is safe and secure, and will give you full control over your giving. You can also send a check to the address below. Financial contributions to Whole Heart Ministries, a 501c3 tax-exempt organization, are tax-deductible. Thank you for your partnership! Your gift helps us press on in Christ to keep faith in the family. Grace and peace to you and your family.

Wholehearted blessings in Christ,

Clay and Sally Clarkson

Our own whole hearted kids! Joy,  Joel, Sarah, Nathan

If God puts it on your heart to become partners with us in our ministry to help us with more projects to reach our world, we would be most grateful. You can donate here. (http://wholeheart.org/donations/)

Books & Resources by the Clarksons

•   Educating the WholeHearted Child (Clay)
•   Seasons of a Mother’s Heart (Sally)
•   Our 24 Family Ways (Clay)
•   Journeys of Faithfulness (Sarah)
•   Read for the Heart (Sarah)
•   Heartfelt Discipline (Clay)
•   The Mission of Motherhood (Sally)
•   The Ministry of Motherhood (Sally)
•   Dancing with My Father (Sally)
•   The Mom Walk (Sally)

 10 Gifts of Wisdom (Sally)  Caught Up in a Story (Sarah)  The Wisdom Chasers (Nathan)  The Hero’s Way (Nathan)  Desperate (Sally, Sarah Mae)  You Are Loved (Sally, Angela Perritt)  Own Your Life (Sally)  Own Your Life Study Guide (Sally)  The Lifegiving Home (Sally, Sarah)  Taking Motherhood to Hearts (Clay)

Please feel free to write us at the address below.

Whole Heart Ministries

Keeping Faith in the Family

PO Box 3445 | Monument, CO 80132 719.488.4466 | 888.488.4466 | 888.FAX-2WHM

wholeheart.org | momheart.com | sallyclarkson.com whm@wholeheart.org | admin@wholeheart.org

— since 1994 —

Owning Your Faith: Learning to Take Risks (Own Your Life Fridays) Ch. 9

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

C.S. LEWIS

Oh, Lord! Please provide! I really need you to provide! I found myself desperately uttering this prayer in my mind before my eyes had even opened. It was one of those times in life when I couldn’t see past tomorrow. I had four grown up children with grown up worries, a dear and very overworked husband, and a diminishing bank account. At that moment, my prayer was for the needs of one of my children’s university tuition. Over and over again I had seen God work, but at that point, after a year that felt like a boxing match, I found the eyes of my heart couldn’t see around the bend in the road.

I believe all of us come to the moment where we can’t see around the next corner. In fact, in my life, there have been too many such times to count. It is at those corners and crossroads that our claim to “have faith” begins to mean something for the real, practical, present world we live in. When I was a young Christian, I think I pictured faith as looking something like the enthusiastic hand-raising worshippers I saw at youth conferences. As I have grown, I have come to see that faith more often looks like the quiet trust and sincere outpouring of a heart before God. It is most visible at moments of crisis, death, hurt, need, and new beginnings.

It comes at the moment when we are faced with the choice to trust in ourselves or in the world, to give into despair, or to trust in God to take us beyond what we can imagine and see.

Fear

Fear is our natural response to the unknown. That day as I prayed a cold cloud of fear came to me: What if I couldn’t send the child to this program she dreamed of for so many years? Had I failed her as a parent? Fear comes to me in the form of a thousand imagined undesirable futures. It comes in the form of what-ifs: What if we start a ministry and it flops?

What if the kids resent us for raising them in ministry? What if I am not strong/wise/good enough to do what God has called me to do? Fear drives us to retreat. In the defensive stance of fear, we try to live in our own strength rather than trusting in the mysterious, beautiful, and powerful work God could do in our lives.

But God is well acquainted with our fears. Three-hundred sixty-five times in the Bible, the heartening and seemingly impossible command is uttered, “Do not fear.” I learned in the early days of our ministry that if God called me to something, He would never leave me stranded.

In Deuteronomy 31:6, God speaks to the Israelites saying, "Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you." We have the power to be courageous only because we know that wherever we go, God goes with us. Faith is the power.

Formula

Another tempting response is to live by formula. As I pondered that morning, I thought of all the systems and methods I should have lived by if I was really a helpful mother. Perhaps I just hadn’t done the right thing and it was going to cost my child their education. Trusting in a formula, even if it sounds good, is not living by faith in God, but living by well-intentioned superstition—if I pray, act a certain way, and say the right things, then God will be obligated to respond and grant my desire.

That kind of thinking comes too close to the beliefs of idol worshipers in the Old Testament, rather than to followers of the faithful, loving God who revealed Himself in order to be known and worshiped by His people. God cannot be made to fit into our man-made formulas. In Isaiah, God said,

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways” (55:8). Our God is more gracious and more powerful than any formula we can conjure, and we as image bearers of God are more complex and exciting than any formula can contain. When we reduce faith to a formula we will be disappointed. We will be disappointed in ourselves, thinking if only we had prayed or acted a little differently God would be blessing us. Or, we will be disappointed with God, feeling He has not “lived up to his side of the bargain.” God does not negotiate, but we try to.

Flesh

Finally, perhaps the most tempting option  is to live by flesh. Living by your flesh means clenching your teeth and saying, “I can do this. I don’t need help.” This kind of thinking can be pernicious because we can find ourselves thinking, “I’m persevering for God,” when we’re actually denying our need for His grace to help us persevere.

With this mindset, when we encounter hardships or challenges, rather than admitting our need and asking the Father who cares for us for help, our flesh says to us, “Try harder! Do more! Accomplish it on your own!” God never calls us on a path for which he has not prepared us. This is not to say that living by faith is not hard work; it is! But, as Psalm 127:1 says: “Unless the LORD builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted” (NLT). His very name, Immanuel, means “God with us.” When we try to live by flesh, we will burn out as we deny God’s life-giving Spirit the opportunity to work.

After praying my prayer that morning, I opened my eyes. I peered out the beautiful bay window by my bed, I rubbed my face across the soft blanket on my bed, and then I laughed. My desperate prayer was prayed as if God had not already provided for me. I suddenly realized that God had already met my needs in a thousand ways. My spiritual amnesia made me want to doubt, but as I rose that morning, it was with a trust that God was providing and would continue to provide whatever my family truly needed.

The day that followed my commitment to trust God was not extraordinary; I cleaned and cooked and laughed with my children. As I look back, I cherish the fact that I have been able to see the hand of God work so powerfully in my lifetime. If I lived only by what was possible in my own power, I would have never taken risks that allowed me to see God’s faithfulness. My walk of faith with God has been a mysterious dance of listening, resting, working, and watching as God causes growth. With each crossroad I encounter, I believe even more firmly that God goes before me to prepare the path.

An excerpt from Own Your Life, Chapter 9.

Mothering in the Winter Season

As I have reflected on the winter seasons of my life as a mother, I can see that, though they could be very trying times, they also have been times when I learned the deepest lessons of faith and grew closer to God. Let me share with you some of the fruit of my own winter reflections.

First, I have learned that my life is not the center of the universe. It has taken me years to see just how self-centered and selfish I can be, and just how much growing up I needed to do. Jesus said that in this world we would experience tribulation, so struggle is a normal part of life. He certainly knew tribulation, as did Peter, Paul, David, Moses, Esther, and all who have lived for the purposes of God. My struggles are not exceptions requiring special attention; they are simply the norm.

Second, I have learned that motherhood— the raising of godly children— invites intense spiritual warfare. Living as a Christian is not just about believing in Jesus, enjoying God's blessings, then going to heaven. That kind of mediocrity of soul is never an option for a mature believer. God says the Christian life is spiritual warfare, a battle, and we all will have to fight. No exceptions. Paul said, "do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you" (1 Peter 4:12, NASB). That's just life.

Third, I have learned that God is transcendent, with infinite purposes beyond my finite comprehension. He has been faithful to each generation of his people, compassionate and merciful even when we cannot see or understand his purposes. That truth forces a choice in my heart: Either I bow my knee to God's will, trusting his grace to sustain me through every struggle because I know he is sovereign and in control; or I give in to my bitterness, allowing grief and despair to defeat me. It is a choice I have to make over and over again.

Fourth, I have learned that God wants to shape me, his child, into the likeness of Christ. Scripture teaches that "God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness" (Hebrews 12:10). His hand of discipline has loosed my grip on things I hold too tightly—possessions, people, dreams, pride, expectations—things I have placed my hope in instead of in him. In their place, he has given me the wonderful freedom of knowing I am loved and accepted by him, no matter how I may sin or fail him.

Fifth, I have learned that God uses my trials to make me better able to minister to other women. I have learned compassion for others who struggle, because I have grappled with my own issues. I have wrestled with children, marriage, finances, health, and so many other issues, so I can more easily identify with others in similar situations, and offer them the compassion and hope that I have found in God's faithfulness and goodness.

Finally, I have learned that God uses hard times to make me stronger and more faithful. I have a much larger capacity now, than I ever had as a young woman, to handle challenges and responsibilities. A young mom might be overwhelmed with the constant work and stress of having a new baby, but a mom who has raised many children has learned to take her responsibilities in stride. It may take some time, but I really can "consider it pure joy" when I "face trials of many kinds," because I know the "testing of [my] faith develops perseverance" (James 1:1-3).

I hope my reflections are an encouragement to your own heart today.  Do one or more of these areas seem to be one in which you might need to embrace the cup the Lord has poured for you?

You can read more of my reflections on motherhood in Seasons of a Mother's Heart, available here!

Giving Hope to your Child this Christmas

Hope Breathes Life

Lighting 5 candles, turning the lights low, switching the gas logs on high and bringing a tray of mugs overflowing with hot chocolate and whip cream all came together in about 5 minutes. The last touch was the familiar Celtic Christmas album that hummed gently through the room to bring the familiar comfort of a well-loved cd.

My young daughter had just experienced a devastating tragedy that had made her innocent heart fearful—a fatal shooting at our church during the Christmas season a few years ago had wrought terror in our hearts.

Snuggling up together under soft throws on the couch, she poured out her fears, worries, and questions for a half hour. I searched the files of my heart to find comfort to help her feel understood and comfort of the hope she had in her heavenly Father that would never be shaken.

“Mama, when I come to you afraid, I know I will always leave hopeful. I love you, Mama. I am so glad I am not alone.”

How surprised I was to hear this, as I have often felt that I was a struggler through the many challenges that threatened to overcome us in our lives.

Many years ago, I realized that children long to have a happy mother. Our children are growing up in a time when media spreads the gloom and doom of catastrophes, fears and threats. When the mama spreads light and thankfulness--and hope in the darkness, then children feel secure and safe.

But when a mama lives darkly, the children harbor fear, insecurity and blame themselves for parent's being angry or sad.

Hope is not natural--it is supernatural.

Hope comes welling up from deep inside because of a belief that God is good. That He will win in the end. That there is always hope when God is present.

Women who choose hope and who choose to trust God are those who, instead of cursing the darkness, light a candle. But it is a choice of the will.

Hope is not a feeling, it is a commitment to hold fast to what scripture reminds us is true about God.

Knowing scripture, pondering and taking it into your soul, is what gives each of us food, fuel, to live the Christian life, as we listen to the Holy Spirit guide us through the wisdom we have learned. The only way to live well is to live in fellowship with God. Nothing else will satisfy.

We live in an imperfect world filled with disappointments, devastation, and difficulty.

Without hope, our lives can feel absolutely purposeless sometimes.

Today I am writing at Thebettermom.com

Go there for the rest of the story! and don't forget to listen to yesterday's podcast!

Laying Foundations of Faith for Dark Times

Charles Baugniet

"These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up."

Deuteronomy 6: 6-7

Big blue eyes filling up with tears and a hoarse whisper made me pay attention.

"Mama, Can I speak with you alone?"

Busy with rocking Joy as she was dozing off to sleep and waiting to put my two loud boys to bed with a kiss and prayer, I was surprised to see the serious concern on Sarah's face.

Finally, I had a quiet moment  to speak with her much too late in the night.

"Mama, I don't know if I believe in God any more. I am trying believe because of everything you have taught me, but I have so many doubts, fears, questions and I wonder if God ever listens to my prayers.

Almost 13, I knew that as a budding young adult, the darkness of the world and several very difficult personal issues had confronted my sweet, here-to-fore innocent daughter.

She was the first of our four to voice the doubts that haunted her in the darkness of her bedroom. Eventually, the doubts came individually to each of our children. There is a process of discipleship that had to take place in the midst to help them keep going.  As I look back over the years, by standing with them through challenging times, telling them that God was big enough to handle their doubts, loving them when they were easy to love and when they were thorny, God graciously allowed us to help our children keep walking, keep choosing to believe, though all have walked through seasons of darkness. Believing forward in their lives, speaking into their great worth to God, giving them a sense that each choice of faith matters was the mantra of our voices in their lives.

At least for the moment we see them making choices to follow. And so Clay and I continue to pursue them as faithfully as we are able.

God had his prodigals and He was a perfect Father. Yet, a picture of God throughout all of scripture is a faithful, constant Father, lovingly pursuing His children, seeking them, dying for them, teaching them, calling out to them to follow Him, love Him and wait for His coming at the end of the age..

How important it is for us to remember and understand that Satan was casting shadow on God's character and casting doubts about God's trustworthiness from the beginning of the creation of man. It is not because you are a bad or inadequate parent that your children doubt God and Christianity, but instead it is a profound part of our battle.

"Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." I Pet. 5:8

With the world falling apart at the seams, we need to give our children, (and ourselves), strong foundations of faith. Cultivating understanding, belief and trust in God are the most important priority of our lives to be faithful to build. All of the other accomplishments in life are second to passing on faith. The wonderful news is that we have an advocate, the Holy Spirit, God Himself, who cares even more that our children can grow and come to belief. You are not alone.

"So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ." Romans 10:17

All of our lives, if we are believers, our goal is to relate to God, His purposes, His plans, His personal love and involvement and love for us, and His faithfulness to us,  no matter what assails us in our lives. It is our glory to walk with Him every day until we see Him face to face.

So often, I see younger women fretting about educational issues and worldly accomplishments in the lives of their children. Focusing on the temporal and being distracted by daily duties can take our eyes off the fact that the battleground for life is for hearts and souls coming to God and holding fast to him. It is the issues of faith that need our fervent attention.  The world that my own adult children have entered is a world filled daily with temptations and discouragement and challenges. I see so much how tending to their hearts and souls while they were children in my home has given them strength and fortitude to face the obstacles in their lives that come every day.

When they are confronted by such serious issues, they need to have the voice of truth speaking to them from all that they have stored up in the recesses of their hearts and minds.

The most profound gift parents can give to their children is a true, heart-felt, foundational wisdom of faith that will carry them through all the seasons of their lives.

"And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." Hebrews 11:6

As I reflect on the ways we built such a faith into the lives of our children, so that, by God's grace, up to this point, they have held fast to their love and faith in God, was based on 3 aspects of faith.

1. All children and adults need to have a basic knowledge of the corpus of faith from Genesis to Revelation. I am basically talking about an overview of scripture: The overall story of God as found in His word as well as the stories of those who walked with God to give them a pattern of faith. Reading the Bible and teaching the stories is over a long period of time--at least 18 years--so do not feel you need to tackle the whole Bible in one year. Little by little building your own knowledge as you build your children's knowledge.
2. Modeling the action of faith and teaching the footsteps of faith at each juncture of life is essential for believers to learn what is looks like to live everyday through the pathways of life, trusting God. For instance, when a trial occurs, (illness, financial issues, relational issues, etc.) the way a parent responds to God in faith is how a child will learn to live by faith. If a parent says, "Our God has promised to meet our needs, so lets ask Him to give us wisdom in knowing how to approach this situation." And then if the parent moves forward by trusting God and not complaining or whining then the child learns that trusting God is real in personal moments from watching an older wiser person live in the reality of God's presence amidst life every day.(Part of you cultivating faith is finding people that give you a model of what faith in the midst of trials looks like--or gathering mentors through books as I did.)
3. Finally, there is one last aspect of faith that is necessary for our growth. All of us need to understand that faith is an action that moves us forward in taking risks to see God move supernaturally through our lives to bring His light and kingdom to bear. If a parent tells a child to live by faith by taking his light to the world, then the parent should be one who starts a Bible study by inviting people to their home, or serving at homeless/refugee shelters/teaching a children's class at church, etc. Faith moves a person to act for love of God. In order for us to have the reward of our faith, by seeing Him work, we must step out to trust God by reaching out to a lost world. It is in a ministry life that we sense the presence, wisdom and blessing of God upon our lives and better understand His sacrifice. In giving, we receive--but faith is the energy that takes us to this active, engaging life with God.

Precious ones who are reading this, I want you to know that I understand that your road with motherhood is so often exhausting and tiring. I am spending special time tomorrow praying for you to know the sweet love and peace of our God and to be encouraged in knowing that you are not alone and that what you are doing is of eternal importance.

May you be blessed and blessed with truth and grace today.

I hope you will join Kristen Kill and me today as we share some of our thoughts about how to teach and cultivate faith in a fallen world so that our children will learn to have hope for the times in which they live. 

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Spiritual Disciplines: Cultivating Practices That Deepen Your Faith

Joy and me on a recent freeing hike in the mountains

My wonderful co-writer and "like" girl

The more we know Him, the more we will desire to know Him. As love increases with knowledge, the more we know God, the more we will truly love Him. We will learn to love Him equally in times of distress or in times of great joy.

BROTHER LAWRENCE

“Well, I don’t know, it’s just, like...” These words had barely slipped out of Joy’s mouth before my eyebrows raised at her and we both started laughing. Ever since she had returned during breaks from her university in Southern California, the word “like” frequently visited itself upon her vocabulary. Joy had never been a “like” girl before, but after a few months in the land of surfboards and juice shops, that word, along with the slow rhythm of the Southern California accent, had begun to work itself into her way of speaking.

“I don’t mean to, Mom! It’s just the way I hear all of the voices around me speaking, and Ican’t help but let it slip in to the way I speak and think.”

I believe that Joy’s “like” predicament exhibits the power of the voices to which we listen.We live in a culture that loves to quote movies, books, and song lyrics. I marvel as I watch my kids hold almost entire conversations in quotes from their favorite characters from television and literature. I have realized that as my children engage in certain forms of media, those forms begin to shape their vocabulary and way of thinking.

The same is true of friend groups. I am amused to see best friends who inadvertently dress and speak like each other, or friend groups who all order similar coffee concoctions. It is a part of human nature that we naturally begin to emulate who or what we spend time with and on, respectively. Proverbs says, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the compan- ion of fools will suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20).

We are formed by the voices that we allow to speak into our lives.

Walking through many seasons of life, I have had strength to live through each one, only because of God's help and voice in my life. There were times when I was fearful, times when I was confused, or depressed or unsure of what to do in a situation or how to love someone, I learned a habit, a discipline, and  I would go to the word of God and always find the strength, wisdom, and answers I needed to make one more step of faith In Him who is faithful.

I look back and see His hand guiding me and leading me in paths of righteousness. Even as He was committed personally and lovingly to David, so He is ready to lead us through a life that is filled with His presence if we turn our hearts and eyes to Him. This is why spiritual disciplines are important.

Cultivating such practices in your life creates a space in which one can be formed by the voice of God.

In reading Scripture, we allow God’s truth to speak to our heart.

In prayer, we listen for the whisper of the Holy Spirit.

In honoring the Sabbath and resting, we train our hearts to rest in the knowledge that God will always provide.

Spiritual disciplines remove distractions from our practice of faith, allowing the voice of God in our spirit to shape our vocabulary and our attitudes.

Women often say to me, “I’m too busy to have a quiet time or pray” or “I have young children and don’t ever seem to have free time” or “I don’t want to be legalistic about it.” When I hear this, I often respond with a question: “What voices are you allowing to shape your view of the world instead of Scripture and the Holy Spirit?”

We are all in the business of listening to voices, and allowing various channels to broadcast over the rest.

I often find that when I don’t think I have time to listen to God, it is because I am busy prioritizing other voices. This is something that happens to the best of us. For some that may be wasting time on social media, putting an overemphasis on perfect housekeeping, or getting caught in an endless cycle of busyness. Of course, there is nothing inherently wrong about social media, housekeeping, and a busy schedule. None of those things is necessarily bad, but nothing can replace the voice of God, and the value gained from time in His presence.

The spiritual disciplines are not about legalism, but about developing practices which tune your ear to the truth of Scripture, your will to the practice of faithfulness, and your heart to communion with God. My children are able to bring to mind the quotes of many of their fa- vorite literary characters because of the time they have spent invested in reading. In the same way, as you invest time in Scripture, the Holy Spirit will begin to bring passages to your mind when you encounter difficult situations.

As you read and let the truth of Scripture sink into your heart, it will begin to shape your vocabulary and thoughts about the world. When truth is in your patterns of thinking, it will al- ter the way you respond to situations in your life.

At the heart of any spiritual discipline is relationship with God. Genesis 3:8 says, “They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.”

From the very beginning, God desired that we might share an intimate relationship with Him. His intention was that we would delight in our relationship with Him and reflect his image in us. Though the fall broke that relationship, Christ made a way for us to be once again in com- munion with God. God’s desire to be in relationship with us is the same as it was in Eden. Spiritual disciplines do not take the place of that relationship, but rather, through the Holy Spirit, they give our impatient and sinful souls a way to engage with God. Because God delights in our relationship, He will always bless a heart that seeks to engage with Him.

I hope that Own Your Life--and owning your spiritual disciplines--is helping you to commit to making time with the one who loves you most and wants to be the message of His love to your heart every day.

Here is the study guide you can use in groups or in your own quiet time.

Happy Thanksgiving to You!

I hope you have a wonderful holiday with your friends and family!

Sensing Pleasures Fills Memores forever with Delight!

Sweet Friends,

My life has been whirling by, every day, and at the end of the day, I say, "What day is this? What did we do today?" and can hardly remember because it has been such a whirlwind. But this week, is such a great week to s l o w down and to stop and make a life-memory in your mind.

This week, I have sat inside and sipped hot drinks all day for our mini-blizzard, listening to Joy saying, "Look at the beautiful sparkles God created. Isn't it gorgeous."

Yesterday, I had 30 women in my home for a baby shower. I love celebrating babies.

But this week, I will be celebrating Thanksgiving all week. It is a great time to plant deep memories in the souls of our children through touching not only their sweet spirits, but by touching all of their senses and giving them memories stored up forever.

This Thanksgiving, you are investing eternal memories into the soul of your children that will feed them the rest of their lives. Thanksgiving is a marvelous, magical time that is filled with fond memories and cherished traditions. Over and over, my children tell me it was the feasts, traditions, rhythms that speak to them of our close ties and community that we all share now! This is a holiday in which all of our senses are involved in the memory-making process on this one very special holiday that we so look forward to in our family. (The photos below are from last year's Thanksgiving week.)

Touch:

"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service."

-1 Timothy 1:12

In our home, the bustling of family members getting involved in the hospitality process makes Thanksgiving so much fun.  Remind your children what a great delight to you to have such a great team and what an honor it is to be a part of such a great working team. Tell them the work of beauty of a feast and the life of the day would not be complete and full without their help and personal touches. What a gift to be a part of a family sharing togetherness.   On Thanksgiving, through using our hands to make pies, set tables, decorate, or hold hands during prayer, the things we touch and cultivate as a family turn into life-long memories.

Sight:

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

-1 Thessalonians 5:18

I know that for many of you sweet mamas, burdens and hard work come along with the turkey, pies, and memories. Remember that your hard work is so worth it, because you are creating visions for your children to behold that will shape who they are forever. Take a deep breath, relax, and allow yourself to look around and take it all in, seeing with your own eyes the value and worth of your labors. The beautiful table, the delicious meals, and most importantly, the smiles on the faces of your family should be your visual reminder that it is all worth while.

Taste:

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." -1 Corinthians 10:31

It is a beautiful gift that God allows us to taste. Not only is our food nourishment, but it is a way for us to bond over something so wonderful that fills us with joy. I know my family is very thankful for flavors of many kinds that bring so much variety to our taste buds and warmth to our souls. The meals you make this Thanksgiving will not be ordinary-they will be creating the palate of memories that enchant your children's taste buds for a very long time. (Just like the verse in Corinthians says-we shall be thankful and do all things to the glory of God. This includes our feasting!)

Smell:

I love hazelnut candles for this time of year and put them throughout the house. Always the kids say, when they come downstairs in the mornings, "Ohhhhh, what great smells. What are you cooking?" At least I can make a quick cup of coffee for them......

 "And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." -Ephesians 5:2

Is it just me, or does it seem that people tend to gravitate and crowd around the kitchen once the enticing aromas begin spilling from the oven? Nathan, my 26 year old son, was recently telling me about one of his very favorite Thanksgiving memories:

"It's the best thing, waking up on Thanksgiving morning to the smell of your homemade cinnamon rolls. All of us kids lose our patience as we sit and watch the parade in our PJ's, eagerly wondering what second they will be ready to devour!" They say that scent is the strongest link to memory, so do not underestimate the importance of the candles you light and treats you bake.

Hearing:

A photo a couple of years ago on Friday when we were all out picking the Christmas tree. At our home, hearing gaggles of kids and adults talking, laughing, pontificating is such a pleasant sound to my mama heart that always loves having my chitlins home again. The noise of loud fellowship actually sounds great to me during this season of life. Enjoy those little precious voices while you can.We play music all weekend and someone is always singing at the top of their lungs. Little ones whisper in front of the Christmas lights.

Our hunt for a Christmas tree and the decorating of it always happens on this weekend and so we begin with a mug of something hot and then adventure out into the wilds of Christmas tree land.

"So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ." -Romans 10:17

Your Thanksgiving day will be filled with many sounds, some joyful noises, and some possibly not so pleasant. Be intentional about the sounds of your home's Thanksgiving day. Select calming music, encourage singing, allow plenty of conversation, and be wise about what words are said, as they will remain in the hearts of our loved ones.

One last pic I had to share, as Joy went to a birthday celebration of her sweet friend. It was a Titanic party and so all dressed up in the style of the times. Just had to share. 

Finally, in my quiet time this week, I was struck by the fact that Psalms ends with one thanksgiving poem after another:

The final line of the book says it all:

"Let everything that has breath, praise the Lord."

"Praise the Lord."

Psalm 150: 6

There is so very much to be thankful for as we prepare to embark on another Thanksgiving holiday. I hope that you have a blessed Thanksgiving day with your family, and that all of your senses are delighted.