Summer: A Time to Sow Seeds

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant.

Robert Louis Stevenson

In my sixties, I am finally at the age where I am actually reaping what I have sown in the lives of my children. So many seasons of planting by faith, watering ground that showed no obvious growth, I wondered if my seeds were growing. Yet, now, I love seeing my children as adults, living out of the garden of their soul that was planted through the years.

But, planting over and over again, faithfully tilling, watering the seeds of righteousness and faith takes time and intention. I also plant, now,  and planted then, with the eyes of discipleship--focussing on the word, a Biblical perspective, words that give life, a vision for what they would become as they lived fully into their stewardship of life.

A story comes to mind that Nathan recently mentioned to me that he thinks made a difference in the lives of his friends--as well as his own life, as we invested in his friends so that he could have godly community. 

Nathan and I were driving home one day after one of our heart-to-heart conversations, he suddenly said, "Mom, why don't you make a steak dinner for my friends--really spoil them? Then maybe you could tell them some of what you've told me, about their futures and loving God and being committed to really eternal things. Would you do that for me?"

I said a breathless, bright-eyed "Yes!" I could hardly imagine that my 18-year-old would be willing to expose his own best buds to his mother's impassioned thoughts, but the fact that it was his idea, not mine, spoke loudly of his own good heart. I was thrilled and honored.

Several weeks later, we did just that. There was an abundance of laughter, fun, and celebration as the boys all feasted on grilled steak and all the fixings. When they were full of food, we moved onto the couches where I shared with them. To a chorus of deep chuckles, I complimented Nathan on choosing the handsomest, smartest boys he could find to be his friends. I let them know how glad we were to know them and that I wanted to encourage them about their journey ahead. I simply shared five foundational verses with them that I thought were biblical priorities on which they should build the foundations of their lives.

How amazed I was as they patiently looked up the Bible verses and chatted with me about what the words meant to them. We prayed together, and I dedicated each boy into God's hands, and asked him to guide them, bless them, and watch over them. As we broke up, each young man hugged me with a hearty good-bye. They were all leaving home in the next few days, and I might not see them again for a while, but we parted company feeling complete.

There is a summer season of life in which the lives and hearts of children are open to the sowing of seed. It is a season in which we need to be ready to respond to their open hearts and to make the most of each moment. God requires that we cultivate, sow into, and water the gardens of our children's hearts in this season of growing.

From the time a toddler can understand language until the time when middle-school-aged children approach maturity, there are bounteous seasons when their hearts are open and ready for planting the seeds that will bear future fruit of spiritual truth, emotional health, unwavering moral standards, educational excellence, and general well-being. During these times we must take every opportunity to cultivate the ground of our children's hearts, to make them ready to take in the seeds of righteousness that God has prepared us to plant there.

There is still time for planting during the high school and college years, but the days are shorter then. This season is meant for children to mature, to begin the owning of their own lives and convictions. Other voices begin to speak into their lives. The time of seed-sowing in the life of a child is one that must be treasured and used well, because it will come to a sudden end as the seeds grow to full fruit and the time for the harvest has come.

The season of planting does not last forever; it is a gift of time granted for a single fleeting season. But what precious time! I have come to understand that what is planted in their lives in this time will determine the future harvest in the lives of my children—great stories of heroic believers, living words of biblical wisdom and encouragement, pictures of godly character, memories of daily love and affection. The outcome of their souls depends in large part upon how well I till their hearts and plant the seeds of love and righteousness. I think that in many ways the heart of the mother's soul is reflected in the soul harvest of her children—what we sow we will indeed also reap.

How important it is then that I take every opportunity to be a skillful and wise farmer of the souls of my children. I must faithfully and generously work the ground of my children's hearts, plant seeds of righteousness, and water those seeds with my love and prayers, because the season of harvest is ahead when there will be no more time to plant. And it will come sooner and more quickly than I expect.

"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith." ~ Galatians 6:6-10

How might you sow into the lives of your children, today?

"Come Look!" Jesus commanded. Actively Looking for the Fingerprints of God

Walking with Sarah at sunset by our home.....

Recently, Sarah came home to a whirl of activity. With only two weeks as the last time she would be at home as a single woman, our days were filled to the hilt. Cleaning out closets to figure out what precious items she should send to her new home in England, meeting with dear friends, going to all of our favorite places, trying to get in all of our favorite traditions and finishing 3 papers for Oxford all during these days. 

Evening walks have become a rhythm in our lives since she was a tiny girl. Breathing in the unique beauty every night of our mountains shimmering with golds, pinks, blues and breathing in the safe intimacy of walking with a best friend kindled our hearts with enough energy to make it through all the demands of these days. 

"Breathe in the beauty of God every day that you are married, sweet precious. Leave your burdens in His capable hands every day before you go to bed. Remember, 'Fret not, it leads only to evil doing. Taking time to notice His fingerprints in your life will give you perspective every day--He is bigger than all of the issues in your life. He is more powerful than all the stresses that you bear--let Him take them."

Somehow I wanted to say every wise thing I had ever told her through all the years. 

Sea of Gallilee

Matthew 4:23-5:1 sets up a similar scene. Jesus had been traveling through the regions of Galilee teaching in synagogues, speaking to small and large groups, and healing many people. We read that large crowds followed him from many villages in Galilee, the Decapolis, Jerusalem, Judea, and beyond.

Jesus must have been weary and spent from giving out so much to so many, and yet he obviously drew deeply from his reserves. He "went up on a mountain" as was his habit, invited his disciples to sit near him, and began to speak words that would change lives.

There is a gently sloping hillside on the northeast corner near the Sea of Galilee where some have speculated he preached this message. Or it might have been another mountain. But it must have been a beautiful natural setting with grass, trees, flowers, birds, and possibly the sea sparkling nearby. Jesus used the very hillside for teaching eternal truths. To the thousands of spiritually hungry and hurting people surrounding him, he used the flowers and birds to proclaim the mysteries of the kingdom of God:

"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink;

nor for your body, as to what you will put on.

Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?...

And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.

But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you?" Matthew 6:25-26,28-30

Can you imagine listening to these words while resting on the grass and watching the gentle mountain breeze entice the wildflowers into a delicate dance on the meadow as chirping birds fly effortlessly from tree to tree? How could you help but feel the pressures of your daily troubles lift as you breathe the fresh air and hear the voice of Truth remind you to rest and trust?

Note that what Jesus was doing in this passage was very similar to what I did with Sarah the day of that amazing sunset. He was saying, "Come look!" at God's handiwork and then pointing beyond the handiwork to God himself.

"Look," Jesus told the crowds and his disciples that day. "Observe." Another translation says "consider." Jesus wanted his followers to pay attention to God's reality and presence in the world around them. He also wanted them to ponder and focus their attention beyond the natural to the God who wanted them to trust him. He was giving them the gift of inspiration!

If we desire to pass on that gift to our children, we will always be on the lookout for opportunities to tell them to "look" and "observe" and ponder. We must be ready to point them to signs of his living presence in our daily lives—and also to point beyond our circumstances to him who is beyond the limitations of this world. This awareness of divine reality helps open their hearts to God's will and pleasure at any moment and to lift them above the tedium of the mundane.

When we take the opportunity to expose our children to the glory of God displayed in a rainbow or powerful ocean waves or a star-studded night sky, we are helping them understand that there is a Being much bigger than themselves who created the universe and holds it together with his power.

When we tell them about our answered prayers and those amazing "coincidences" that confirm God's presence in our lives, we help them realize that God is close and caring and active in our daily circumstances. When we explain the things we have been able to do in the Holy Spirit's power that we couldn't accomplish alone, we help them understand how God works and what he can accomplish through us. As we tell them"look" and "observe," we instill the hope that a supernatural Being, more powerful than we can understand, intervenes in time and space to help us and to interact with our lives.

Have you thought about the world around you as a way to experience God's wonderful provision and power lately?

Loving Well: The Power to Transforming Relationships for Life

Loving well is the most profound commitment of life. Measure your Life by how well you have loved.

                                                    Sally Clarkson, Own Your Life Book

 No matter how we try, none of us will ever have a perfect family. Most families are fraught with personality issues, immaturity, selfishness and baggage of unhealthy relationships from a past broken family heritage.  

No church, ministry, neighborhood holds perfect, always happy relationships, either. Because we are a part of these groups, we make them unstable because none of us is perfect.   And often, we are most disappointed when we have conflict, fall-outs, and broken relationships with other believers.  

I wish I had known this earlier, as I was broken-hearted and disillusioned the first time we were involved in church where several created disharmony and separations with groups in the church.   Yet, another aspect of growing in love is giving ourselves time and grace to grow.

Most of us never knew how selfish we were until we got married and had children. All of us fall short, but all of us can mature. Learn every day to live more and more into the foundational love and unconditional grace of God and you will become a generous lover like Jesus is.  

It is best if we also know we will never be perfect in loving or in relationships. It will keep us humble, generous and make us more likely to forgive.  

Love is the food that fuels each of our lives with health, hope, and a sense of well-being.  That is why is it most important that we learn to practice loving well, forgiving more each year and guarding our mouths so as not to create unnecessary conflict.  

Learning lots about the importance of loving well came through being a mama to children who were starving for it from the beginning.  

"Mama, you love me the most, right?" ....Our joke through all the years but repeated over and over again.  "I love you the "Joyest" and you the "Nathanest" and you the "Sarahest" and you the "Joelest," my sweets.  

Seems that even now, I am often texting, emailing, fb'ing my kids how much I love them, how special they are to me, how much they are beloved by God.  All of my children have gone through bouts of doubt when confronted by a constant barrage of challenges. All four have written notes to me to say our constant love is what pulled them through. "You always believed in us, you were always at our back. You never gave up!"  

A heritage of being loved and cherished is profoundly important in the life of any human being.  Surrounded by people who care for their needs, commit to cherishing them from birth to death, wrapping them in the bonds of unconditional love is a legacy that will give them strength, hope and vision through the rest of their lives.  

It is something that cannot be bought or quantified or boxed. Love is a real, day in day out, giving of ourselves for the benefit of others God has placed in our lives--a giving of ourselves for the blessing of others.

When we love and touch affectionately, it pre-disposes our children to remember the caresses and affection of love hidden in the pathways of their brains and will cause them to be more prone to believe in the love of God when they are teens and we tell them, again, that God loves them.

 When children are deprived of love as an infant, consequences to their health, emotional stability, understanding and perception of God, ability to hold relationships and even intelligence is effected the rest of their lives. Of course, Christ is able to redeem and restore all things.

I know in my own life that restoration and healing are possible. But in this fallen world, the process of healing may take awhile.  God created all of us with a deep need to be loved, and a capacity to love generously.  

Being loved perfectly was God's original design, it was born in His heart when he created us to know Him intimately.    If I could point to one thing that truly had an impact in my children, it was giving them a foundation of unconditional love. Generous, overwhelming, words of affirmation, an expectation of forgiveness, acts of service, and many more gestures of love is what opened our children's hearts to listen to our messages about God.  

Loving our children and our friends as they are, appreciating the personality that God has given them, restoring them to generous love when they have failed, pouring out love even when they were at arm's length, focussing on love as the lens through which I looked at life as a mother, giving out words of love on a daily basis--sometimes many times a day, became the fuel for building a fire in their hearts to want to love God.  

When love is modeled as a way of life, then a child has the brain patterns, the very familiarity of how love feels from a parent, and will then be more able to experience the love of God when introduced to it as a concept.  We read:  

God is love.  

Greater love has no one than this than a man lay down his life for his friend.  

The two greatest commandments are to love God and to love others.

 Love one another and so fulfill the law of Christ.  

They will know you are my disciples by your love for one another.

 So many times, parents are afraid that if they show their love for their children too much, they will spoil them. (I am not talking about enabling them by giving in to every whim, but real, unconditional, servant, mature love.)  Has anyone ever loved you too much? Or do you wish for more love?  

Though I was loved in many ways, I grew up with some performance based issues in my family, I often felt inadequate and as though I could never do quite enough to please others--my parents, the world--God Himself. I felt defeated in my inner heart, though I kept striving to perform for many years.  However,

it was at a college conference in Mexico my junior year, that a wonderful teacher personally explained to me, while focussing on my heart's cries for over an hour, that God truly loved me and that nothing would ever separate me from his love.  This knowledge changed my life forever.  Then I read and pondered and studied the life of Christ with His disciples. It was His love poured out, serving them and their families, living with them, giving them words of life; cooking for them, washing their feet, encouraging them, that so changed their lives that they were willing to give their lives for His cause.  

We as adults must understand that unconditional love, as shown by Christ, is the foundation to good relationships.  

 But the place that our children learn this kind of mature love is by watching us practice loving them in our home.  Many of you, never really understood or experienced love in this way while growing up and perhaps you carry unhealthy habits of relating to people in ways you learned in your home growing up.  What I have found is that by receiving God's love by faith and then practicing it in my home with my family has stretched my ability to love, and it has changed my life.

Reading books about relationship has given me tools to recognize what is healthy behavior and what is not (Boundaries and Safe People are two books by Cloud and Townsend that have  helped me to recognize un-health in myself and in others.)  Recognizing habits that do not build my relationships and learning to grow little by little has helped me move in the direction of strong friendships and stable family relationships. This has also helped me to understand and recognize unhealthy people that come into my life and to understand more about how to establish boundaries in ways that protect me from manipulative or broken people. This has become especially important to me in ministry, where I am interacting and committing to people all the time. But the love of God has slowly transformed my life over many years.

In making loving well my goal, I have learned to love many people better and more effectively. It is a process of growth.  

In our own family devotional, The 24 Family Ways, we made love prominent in our training.  

Way # 5 WE LOVE ONE ANOTHER, TREATING EACH OTHER WITH KINDNESS, GENTLENESS AND RESPECT.  

MEMORY VERSE:  "Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us." I John 4:11-12  

If we understand the importance of building this foundation of loving our precious children and teaching them to love others, we will give them the power they need to build strong relationships, stay strong in marriage, learn to work in ministry and a profession well--in short, we will give them the ability to have a fuller, more fulfilling life.  

Loving my adult children is still just as important as when they were young.  The world can be hostile to adults who seek to live morally excellent lives, and who attempt to live lives for the glory of God. And so even now, loving, listening, encouraging, supporting and giving my adult children a home where they will be circled in love and commitment of friendship is one of the pulls in their lives to uphold their ideals in a very challenging time.  Love covers a multitude of sin.  Love is a perfect bond of unity.  

So today, commit in your journal what it means to love to each of the precious ones entrusted into your hands and then begin by practicing love today.  How do you show your children acts of love that penetrates their hearts? 

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Don't forget to read the chapter in Own Your Life this week and answer the questions to apply more of what you are learning.

Making Time for Rest and Renewal

In my house and in my life, it's always time for tea!

This morning, I am sipping very strong coffee (french press variety) and still in my gown at 11:00 a.m. and taking a few minutes to breathe. Yes, I did have to get up with the dog after having her surgery yesterday and tend to her, met with Clay for almost an hour to talk about life and the wedding coming up, helped Joy find her wallet, talked with Joel and helped him gathered some things before he flew out the door to record a book on tape, and then finished editing one more chapter of a book coming soon.

I just never had time to get dressed. And I knew I needed a 15 minute, one woman coffee time before moving on to the rest of the day's demands.

In today's whirlwind culture, it's become common to feel pressed to "power through" every possible situation in life.  Whether we are ill, exhausted, or dealing with a personal crisis, (or planning weddings in Oxford from thousands of miles away :)), we seem hesitant to take time to refresh ourselves.  Putting on a brave face, taking a deep breath, and drinking yet another cup of coffee may help for awhile, but it isn't the best answer long-term when we realize we're truly exhausted in body, soul, and/or spirit.

Even though I love ministering to and inspiring others to Biblical ideals, I get physically and emotionally drained speaking at weekend seminars. All of my energy has to be focused outwardly, which is not natural to my personality. It's no wonder that as soon as the workshop is over I feel a deep need to get away and be by myself. I am not natural at being in the center of attention, so I have to have time to get back to my personal emotional center. I need reflective time alone to refill my spiritual well. 

It also helps me understand why I need regular time away from my children. As a young mama who chose to home educate my children, I had committed to a life that was not an introverted lifestyle. Four little people wanted my attention every moment of the day, and there were still other big ones standing in line when my children were  through with me! Since it is impossible to find a place or the time to be alone in a house full of people, I have learned to be creative.

When I was 44, and writing my first book, there was a wonderful French bakery about ten minutes from my home that became my private getaway. Just the atmosphere ministers to my soul—French-roasted coffee, brick-oven-baked European breads, a fresh-cut flower on each wooden table, baroque music in the background. It is so reminiscent of the Viennese coffeehouses that Clay and I frequented during our years of ministry in Austria. If I could go there even for just an hour in the early morning, by myself, and enjoy my quiche and coffee without anyone begging for a taste, I come home a totally different person.

I would be newly invigorated and ready for the active life of running after the four always-on- the-go, chattering little squirrels I call my children. One year, I would go for breakfast by myself at least once a week at 6:30 in the mornings. (my children were 13, 10, 8 and 2) Clay would get up with the kids, feed them breakfast and I would be home by 8:00 so that he could go to the office. It was a miracle small retreat for me that changed the days for me.

On rare occasions of personal crisis, I have needed an extended time alone. Several years ago I suffered a serious miscarriage, during which I lost a large amount of blood, leaving me extremely anemic. While I was recovering, my father became ill and died. I was already drained from starting a new mom's group with classes for 120 children and a Bible study for the mothers, and from a broken relationship with another couple at church. I was exhausted physically, emotionally, and spiritually. To give me time to recuperate, Clay offered to take the kids home to Texas to visit their grandmother for two weeks. I definitely needed their time away.

I had in mind that while they were gone I would clean and organize the house, get my files in shape, read a book or two about interests that applied to my parenting and educational goals for my children and to refresh and motivate me. Of course I planned to spend some extended time with the Lord. Instead, I slept a lot, ate my favorite foods, went out to restaurants with my mother who flew in to visit, met a couple of friends for lunch, watched some old movies, and spent some casual time reading my Bible. I accomplished very little while the family was gone, but when they returned I was refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to get back to real life. I'd just needed some physical, emotional, and spiritual rest--and fun away from all the goals and work of parenting, marriage and motherhood.

Whatever your personality, be sure you allow yourself the time to be refreshed in a way that is right for you. There is no single, one-size-fits--all formula for how and where that happens, but you need enough time with yourself to determine how and where it will happen for you. But when you take care of your personal needs and make time to invest in your own well-being through this marathon of life, you will live a more sustainable life.

Sometimes, the most spiritual thing you can do is take some time alone, eat something delicious and look at something beautiful--and accomplish absolutely nothing visible at all!

Jesus knew his own disciples needed such time.

And He said to them, "Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while." (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.) ~ Mark 6:31

Do you need to give yourself permission to rest and renew, friend? Summer is a great time to build in small, personal retreats to give yourself renewed energy for a demanding life.

I'm Birthing A New Blog!

Seems like most of life is waiting. Waiting to get out of school, waiting to get a job, waiting to get married, waiting to get pregnant, waiting to have the baby, waiting till that baby sleep through the night, and you know the rest of the story. 

After three children, I waited almost 7 years, with two miscarriages, before I got pregnant with sweet baby Joy. At 41 years old, I was so excited to have the opportunity of another sweet little girl. And then I waited through months of morning sickness, swollen ankles, wandering through sleepy days, waiting for the reward slowly coming at the end of my pregnancy.

After thirty weeks of pregnancy, contractions began coming so often, my doctor told me I was in danger of having little Joy too early. For eight weeks, I was put to bedrest, and waited and waited and waited in forced quietness for her to develop enough for me to go into a healthy labor..

Fast forward. At 38 weeks, my doctor said I could enter back into a normal life. I gingerly got out of bed rest and prepared for her birth. Since my others had been born at 38 weeks, I readied myself for her imminent coming.

And then I waited again. And waited. At 42 weeks, I was as big as a barn, or at least felt like it, and was still waiting and waiting. Nothing could move this child--not walking 5 miles, getting stung by a scorpion, or chasing after 3 other kids would bring her out. Finally, at almost midnight, my water broke and Joy Marie entered the world. I thought she would never come!

Joy was well worth the wait, a thousand times over. My effervescent source of joy, a bestie to walk through life with, a spiritual resource of wisdom and thought and a friend of my heart who companions me through life as a strong supporter and kindred spirit. Yes, all those times of waiting for her to process built one of the best gifts God has given.

Have you ever had something in your life that you were planning on, wanted to see it to fruition, and yet you had to wait and wait and wait? A remodeling job, a vacation, a move to a another home, a pregnancy, or the opportunity to work on a project, a new job, another baby?

For over a the last year and a half, I have wanted to design my own new website--one with more photos, a place that would better express my heart and store all of my words in a way that would be easier to engage in, a holding place for my podcasts--and lots of lovely, beautiful life-giving photos.

Yet, since I am limited, and not a blog designer, and had piles of responsibilities on my to do list, I had to wait. There was that 3 months of constant out of town company, two of my kids moving home, another two children far away going through life crisis that required a lot of time. Thanksgiving,Christmas holidays, the book launch, the conferences, blog posts, trips, and still everyone wanted to eat 3 times a day and bills had to be paid and the house cared for, and and and...life! And so I put the new blog design on the back burner and planned and waited and lived my daily life with the dreams still perking in my mind.

Often women say, "How do you do it all?"  

My answer, "I don't do it all. What I do is imperfect and it is working over a very long time."

I have learned that if I am to thrive personally, in ministry, in marriage, in physical health, I have to keep the center priorities at the center and do the other things little by little. And so this blog languished. I knew I could do something more beautiful, more appealing, but I had to take care of my other responsibilities first.

Often, women say, "I know I have a book cooking inside of me. I believe God has called me to a ministry to women but it means I will have to leave my children in order to do it."

In my own personal experience, dreams take a lifetime. But messages of integrity come through years of being faithful to our priorities, years of living a true life so that truth can be written from experience and wisdom, and not just from desire. God gives all of us different capacity and a different puzzle. Sometimes very young women accomplish a lot. (Joy and Sarah amaze me at their ability to think, write, be productive.) But often, as in the life of Joseph of the Bible, dreams are a long term process.

But dreams and ideals fuel our passion to keep going in the direction of creative projects, meaningful engagement and a heart belief that somehow our lives can make a difference in our world. 

And so today, I share my new blog with you, a fun dream in the imagination over the past months, incomplete, still pages to fill out, surprises to come. I would love for you to go to the home page, to scroll down and see the new pages, to see the ones coming soon, and to pray that many will find encouragement in these pages. 

But my prayer is that this will be a space where we can celebrate life, ideals, faith, motherhood, goals, fun, friendship and celebration of life. I am so very happy you have joined in this space. I would love hear from you! Let me know what you think!

Joy, my angel gift from God worth the wait, a thousand times over!

Exceptional Women Feed the Souls of Others From the Richness of Their Souls

Mary Cassatt: The Reader

Mary Cassatt (1844-1926) The Reader 1877 Oil on canvas

A woman who thinks and reads,  who takes the time to build a reservoir of wisdom and knowledge in her own heart, soul and mind, will serve others well and invest in those in her sphere of influence.

Sally Clarkson

Dinner was simmering on the stove as I tossed a salad and heated some rolls to accompany our herbed chicken soup. Without a stop, I had been running through my day since 6 in the morning and was looking so forward to sitting down.

Just then, the phone rang and a dear, sweet, young friend, said softly, "Please, I need to pick your brain to draw from your experience. I am over my head."

As my two girls listened to me, talking, encouraging, praying with my friend who was amidst a dark life dilemma, I hung up the phone and announced, "Dinner is served! Light the candle and call the boys and tell them all is ready."

"Wow, mom, that's what I call discipleship while cooking--maybe a new book title."

We all giggled and sat down to eat. But, I thought again about how ministry and the need to help another, soothe a child, confront sin, share wisdom from scripture never happens at convenient moments. It happens amidst the craziness of life. And whenever we are squeezed, what we have stored within will come out.

Soul care is something that must be planned for, invested in, prepared for on a regular basis in order to have something Biblical to give out when life or a friend squeezes us.

Two of my favorite passages in all of scripture are found in Proverbs 8 and Proverbs 9.

Throughout Proverbs, wisdom is always referred to as a woman. She teaches, instructs, creates, calls out to fools to come in her house to learn insight and to understand knowledge. What a great picture of what God created women to be and to become--civilizers of people, influencers of generations, shapers of nations.

However, rare are the times I meet with someone whose wisdom, education and knowledge expand my own soul and inspire me to become more excellent. Yet, when I find such women, I seek as much time as I am able to find with them. I love to walk with the wise and take notes and so I seek the company of mature, wise women.

It is a glory to God when a woman is found to be a treasure chest filled with ideas, education, convictions, a resource of excellence and insight. The becoming of an excellent woman, one who is at peace with her life, takes a lifetime of investing into her soul, one day at a time. Patience, gentleness for ourselves gives the grace to grow through seasons of growth and seasons of winter.

I have been intrigued, lately, by the thought of writing a book about great women--those who leave a legacy of spirituality, influence, wisdom and grace in the wake of their lives. I have known a number of what I would consider "great women" and I have been gathering ideas on the the areas of strength and commitment that they all seem to share in common. I am wondering if that kind of a book would appeal to women like you, my friends. It seems to me today that our churches are neglecting some of the training and vision that can build women into godly, strong leaders in their generation.

Often, women lack vision for what an impact they can make and how God has created them to become influential in their worlds, not just through deeds, but also through teaching, thinking, writing, training.

Of course one of the attributes that has arisen from studying and interviewing these women, is that all of them are great readers. They have invested many hours in engaging their minds in scripture, with great thinkers, biographies and when I talk to them, I know I will be stimulated to greater thoughts and ideas because what is in their soul is worthy for me to come into contact with. A woman cannot give out greatness of mind if she has not invested her mind in great thoughts.

Now I am not talking about formal education. As a matter of fact, I learned so little of what I know from college, or public school. Most of what I know has been in my own personal pursuit, my own hunger to know as well as my desire to pass on great thoughts and ideas to my children. Being accountable to them, being a steward of their minds and thoughts has created an environment of learning for me. Any child who has a mother who loves to learn, will be blessed.

All women who are made in God's image, and who want to pursue excellence of mind, must intentionally cultivate their ability to think, to understand theology (the knowledge of God), and to follow paths of wisdom. Great women think well and pursue the virtue of a mind that can suitably worship God by its great thoughts.

I consider myself a resource of God's truth, wisdom, beauty, love character and excellence. If God brings someone into my sphere, I hope that in some small way, I can be a light to their day, their issues they are facing.

This verse has been the one that has defined for me how I want to build intentionally:

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Phil. 4;8

When we take responsibility for our own souls, for the glory of God, we will always be seeking those things which will fill us with His goodness and truth. But I am getting off the subject. I have pondered what you really want me to write about. Please help me to know what is on your own heart.

These are some subjects I have contemplated writing about:

Leaving a Legacy of Faith, Hope and Love of God

Traditions that give life

Cultivating a Great Soul

How to cultivate deeper friendship and community

The aspects of a life-giving home

Discipleship of my children, of Women

How to have a quiet time

Cultivating a habit of Sabbath rest in the midst of a busy life

Great books to read--for children, women, young adults, boys and girls

Meeting the emotional, spiritual, friendship needs of babies, children, teens, young adults

Getting rid of guilt and inadequacy

Living a sustainable life for the long term

Dealing with loneliness and depression

Loving well

Cultivating joy amidst the demands of life

Taking time to invest in beauty, pleasure, fun, rest to create a long term sense of well-being

What are some of the ways you hope to grow in your own life? How are you making a plan to see that little by little you are building a rich, full soul?

Hope you enjoy the podcast today. Be sure the read the accompanying chapters in Own Your Life.

Owning Your Faith: Planting a Permanent Marker of Your Trust Today (podcast)

NASA

“And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6

A few years ago, I was attending a planetarium event with my daughter and her friends. As we gazed at the galaxies and myriad gorgeous, brilliant stars, I had the breath-taking sense of how much bigger God was than I could ever perceive. Oddly, it gave me confidence in His ability to take care of my small needs in comparison to how profoundly immeasurable was his power, his knowledge and His beauty in what He had created. His expansive self is much beyond my ability to comprehend His transcendence, but is a comfort to speak to me of His ability to hold my needs capably in His hands. But I also reflected that His purposes and ways must be way beyond my own tiny perspective.

Daily we are confronted with issues of faith and choices to believe in Him at each point. In this season of Isis, violence in places all over the world, and political and financial unrest globally, I am watching my children prepare to leave to go into very challenging arenas, far from home. Nathan is in New York a totally radical culture from my frontier Colorado home. With 3 children in the United Kingdom, (St. Andrews, Scotland; Oxford, England, and Cambridge, England), I know that if something of world-wide import takes place, I will not be there to help my children. Even though they are adults, Clay and I still want to help them if ever they need it.

Yet, we have prepared our children from an early age to ask themselves, "What work has God created me to complete? How can I serve Him in His kingdom work?" And many years ago, we gave up the notion that we were able or supposed to control their lives. Though I will miss them and be lonely without them nearby, I believe with all of my heart that they are God's, that I will never be able to control them, that they must learn to exercise their own faith muscles to find their own purpose and calling in this world.

Faith is believing that God will be with them, guide them and care for them because His is their heavenly Father. Knowing they have been taught to have beliefs in Christ, to follow the wisdom of God's Word, faith is releasing them follow to His path for their unique lives without fear.

Faith is required at ever juncture of life--at birth of babies, through their years of fragility and sickness, trusting hat we will not mess them up by our inadequacies! During the years they learn to drive, hoping they will be safe. In the season when we send them into a secular world to learn the ropes of wisdom amidst foolishness, and hoping the foundations we laid are strong.

Faith follows us through dark times: a prodigal child, a chronic illness, a disabled child, a failed marriage, an unexpected tragedy. We look to God for His faithfulness to see us through our pain with our vision on eternity where we will know His comfort, peace and full reconciliation personally, His touch of sympathy face to face.

I recall a time when I began to practice actively living day by day into my faith in God. Many years ago, I had two miscarriages in one year, and all three of my children had pneumonia, chicken pox, ruptured ears and encephalitis–all within two months! We had made a move to a very tiny town in Texas and I had no friends, Clay had no job, and we were almost out of money. I was quite tired and struggled with depression but was really seeking answers from the Lord. We lived with my mother-in-law at the time, and going for long walks by myself was the only way I could get away to think and pray.

My circumstances did not look as though God was involved in helping me.

 One day, as I was walking the long, barren country road near our home, and pondering, it was as if the Lord said to me, “Sally, if I took everything away from you that you hold dear, would you still believe in me?” It was suddenly as though God was shining a spotlight onto the deepest part of my soul. And I found at the very bottom of it, that with all the difficulties that a fallen world could throw at me, I would still rather hold on to my faith in God and believe in His love and goodness for the rest of my life, than to choose a life of existentialism and despair. And a realization came to me that this choice would require constant vigilance–that I would have to guard my heart and feed it with the truth of God’s word and His constancy in my life if it were to continue to stand.

 A part of me realized that day that faith was planting a flag, so to speak, in my heart, and deciding to settle it once and for all–that for the rest of my life, no matter what, I would choose to believe in the Bible, to know that Jesus was real, and to trust that God was loving, no matter what! Faith was the assurance of things hoped for but not seen.

Faith was choosing to hope in Him every day, acting on that faith and hope, and understanding that without this commitment of my will to choosing to believe and hope, I couldn’t be pleasing to God or sense His wisdom and hand upon my life.

I would look back on that day as a day which would determine my present and future walk with God.

Making a decision to stand for faith meant many things. It meant I would choose to believe the best, and act in light of what scripture said He was–loving, righteous, good, kind, wise, and so on. I would believe in light when I found myself in darkness. I would believe that love redeemed and was a perfect bond of unity, even when I was confronted with unloving, immature people.

 It meant choosing to believe that God did listen to my prayers and that the prayer of a righteous person avails much–and that in His time, I would see eternal results–even if it wasn’t on my time schedule.

I knew that if every time something difficult happened to me, I put God on trial again, that I would only be unstable and insecure in life–wondering and fearing when the next trial or danger would come my way, feeling that I would need to "take care of the details of my life by my own efforts and works," that I would have to "muscle" it out by spending a lot of effort controlling life.

But I also had the sense that if I built my life on the foundation of believing in Him, sowing faithfulness and goodness, that I would reap the blessing of freedom and peace from sowing on true and eternal principles. And I knew my children would breathe the oxygen of my own trust in Him, and learn to trust Him themselves.

 “Do not be deceived. God is not mocked. Whatever a man sows, this will he also reap.” (Galatians 6:7)

I decided never again to go to the active place of doubt–I would disregard it because of my once and for all commitment to believe in God, period. I wanted to sow faith and reap a life sprinkled with God's fingerprints of faithfulness and love as my heavenly Father. I pictured that in the same way that I made a promise that I would stay married to Clay and choose to love him unconditionally for all of our years, that leaving Him would not be an option, no matter how hard–that I needed to picture my commitment to God like that–forever and final, through all the seasons, difficulties, tests and blessings.

As I look back over the years, my commitment determined my behavior and always gave me direct instructions in which way to go–always to God, always to faith and always to obedience always to the word.

Choosing to Own my Faith has opened doors, provided peace of mind, given boldness in difficulties, established hope in God who does not change and who has proved faithful in every season. And because of His past faithfulness to carry me through all the challenging places of my life, I seek to remember these as I face new pathways of the unknown, and rest in faith that He will once again provide.

But faith and faith living pleases God who delights in companioning us through every season of our lives. Only by faith can we live the story He wants us to tell with our lives. Faith is a choice that maybe no one else will see, but opens our hearts to the blessing and favor of our God who lives to be faithful to us through every season.

To take your study deeper today, take a few moments to complete the reflection and application below.

• “He who would please God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6 Have you made a decision to plant a flag of faith in your own life? What challenges that commitment?

• “As far as it is possible with you, be at peace with all men.” Romans 12:18 Everyone has times of relational difficulty, unless they live as a hermit! Is there someone you should make peace with today?

• “Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be open for you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks, finds and to him who knocks, it shall be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8 Do you believe that God hears you? That He will answer in time? How can you strengthen your soul in order to continue choosing rightly in the midst of daily challenges?

Hope you enjoy this week's podcast. Share with your friends, discuss a faith life with your family. Choose faith for your circumstances today.

Living a Life Characterized by Grace

Luke 7:36-50 tells us of a time when one of the Pharisees actually invited Jesus to dine with him. I like to think he was still grasping for the true meaning of spirituality and desired in his heart to know the true God. But he failed miserably because he missed the whole point of grace.

During this dinner a woman in the city who had a reputation as a sinner sought Jesus out. She actually came into the Pharisee's home, and she stood behind Jesus weeping, her heart surely broken and contrite from years of guilt and pain. In an outpouring of love, the broken woman began to wet Jesus' feet with her tears and then anointed his feet with perfume from an alabaster vial, obviously a precious treasure to her. This act of worship was from her heart, an expression of deep appreciation that Jesus had loved her and forgiven her.

This "sinner" woman clearly understood what grace was about, but Jesus' Pharisee host didn't have a clue. His heart was too full of judgment to see his own need. "If this man were a prophet," he thought, "He would know who and what sort of person this woman is who is touching Him, that she is a sinner" (7:39).

How interesting it is to see that Jesus knew what the man was thinking. He then told the man a story about two debtors who owed a great deal of money. Both were forgiven of their debts. Jesus then asked the Pharisee, "Which person will love the moneylender more?"

"I suppose the one whom he forgave more," was his reply. Jesus then reminded his host, the Pharisee, that he had not even washed Jesus' feet when he entered the home. But the woman had not ceased to wash his feet and kiss them. "For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little."

This is an important word to us as parents. Sometimes we feel that we need to play the role of the Holy Spirit in our children's lives and impose great guilt on them so they will be hesitant to sin anymore. But I don't see this in the life of Jesus. Yes, Jesus always called his disciples and followers to the highest standards. He taught that he came to fulfill the law and that all the commandments of God were of utmost importance (Matthew 5:17- 20). And yet, wherever he went, Jesus proclaimed forgiveness and extended his gracious forgiveness to all who sought him—including tax collectors, prostitutes, and even a thief on the cross. He maintained this same attitude of gentle and gracious forgiveness toward the disciples even as they abandoned him at the cross. Jesus took the time to personally talk to them about sin and to offer them grace. And it was this gracious forgiveness, I believe, that opened their hearts so that they "loved much."

Our children need the same kind of gentle graciousness from us if they are to learn to share their vulnerability, to confess their own sin, and to be free to love. If they fear our strong condemnation and possible rejection, they will hide their sin, perhaps even deceive themselves about the nature of it. They will definitely not avail themselves of our mature direction in their lives.

"Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?" ~Romans 2:4

How specifically does God want you to extend his grace to your children so that His kindness, through you, will lead them to repentance?

Precious Redeemer,

Thank you for the compassionate grace you showed in redeeming us and dying for us when we were yet sinners.  Help us to visualize ourselves as extensions of your forgiving and redeeming grace to our children. Please help them learn how to give grace at home, so that they might do the same for the people you bring into their lives.

Amen

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Amidst a World Gone Crazy, Speak Noble Things: Build a Godly Legacy

Amormaterno

Anchise Picchi

"Does not wisdom call,

And understanding lift up her voice?

On top of the heights beside the way,

Where the paths meet, she takes her stand;

Beside the gates, at the opening to the city,

At the entrance of the doors, she cries out:

'To you, O men, I call,

And my voice is to the sons of men.

O naive ones, understand prudence;

And, O fools, understand wisdom.

Listen, for I will speak noble things;

And the opening of my lips will reveal right things.'"

~Proverbs 8:1-6

 What a week this has been, as we have continued to see a world in tumult and grief. I have been heartbroken and so very surprised--is all this really happening? I can't believe the tragedies, and I feel heart broken for my friends of every color, my police friends and all their families, and most importantly, the children involved.

As usual, though, after praying and spending time with the Lord, I feel inspired to do something to help to change hearts and to help build up a broken culture.

Often, people are tempted with hopelessness and fear. Yet, I am reminded this is why mothers were created by God to teach and to call others to wisdom--because it is only when people learn to think rightly, to honor human beings made in the image of God, to weep over the fallen behavior of lost man, that they can move in the direction of redemption.

When I read the above verses, I am reminded once again that women are God's special teachers of wisdom, of perspective, of God's ways. There is something we can do.  When a mother is filled with vision, comfort, wisdom, and truth; when God is the strong foundation of security of her life, she will shape the very soul and faith of those in her household. The world has hope when souls are alive with faith and a valiant, devoted spirit, and when people's behavior is dictated by righteous thinking.

It’s always an adventure when all my children find their way back to the nest, and we are enjoying some of that happiness now as many are home. Seems we have had a constant stream of meals eaten, dishes washed, and then repeating the routines again and again.

Many rousing discussions took place this weekend in our home with many friends who have different opinions about all the issues we see in the news, as well as opinions about movies, politics, church, books, actors, all the disasters that have happened this week, and life in general. More serious discussions have stimulated our ideas as we talked  about how to reach a post-modern culture, about what is really important to the Lord, and what is the balance between ideals and grace, passion and redemption.

It has been good as always for me to enter the world of the insightful thoughts and wisdom of my thinking-and-reading children who are now full-hearted adults,  and see how they process and ponder these issues, and to ask what my part is in offering truth in a way that can be understood. I see all of the input I receive from differing points of view as ways that God prepares me to be a better thinker and more insightful into the souls and ways of people and ultimately as a steward of His messages.

I have spent much time pondering what the role of motherhood has played in the issues that rage in our country today.

We are all busy and live in a hectic, fast-paced culture. Yet, we must take seriously our role in bringing truth and light in the darkness that threatens to overcome our lives. For every “advance” it seems there is a price that must be paid, a cost to battling in spiritual realms, whether we are aware of it or not.

 The vision I see is this: If mothers rise to be the gatekeepers, making their homes places of excellence, cultivating love for each other as well as reverence and worship of God, the future generations will have hope. If we are teaching respect and honor for all people crafted by God's hands, then our children will become protectors and advocates for all people, especially those who are unfairly found victims of a broken, fallen world.

If we are spending personal time teaching and discipling their children by reading the Word of God every day and praying to Him with our children for wisdom and guidance every day, then we will raise a generation of children who will become adults who will depend on God's wisdom, not the wisdom espoused by the internet or the world.

If we take the time to read to our children, to challenge them with great ideas from the most profound writers in history, if we give them the muscle to discuss and discern world views, then we will raise thinking children who can become message makers to give hope to their world.

If we are keeping them from worshiping the idol of television, materialism, the internet, political power or prestige and instead teaching and modeling a servant lifestyle, then our children will engage in visions of life that include their responsibility to serve God and others with their lives.

If we lead them into the ministry of real live people, in our homes as well as in the city gates, and teach them how to engage in culture, then they will perceive themselves as those who will become leaders of ideals in their generation.

If they observe us serving them through this training and nurture and giving up of her own time, there will be hope, that they, too, will become heroes in their own generation who will give up their lives to serve others.

All of these values will become a part of their psyche, their self-image, their self-actualization: "I was made for a special purpose, my life has imbued meaning, I will serve God with my heart, soul, mind and strength."

The shaping of a whole culture happens within the walls where we all live, the space called home--a daily living with ideals, true messages and character building.

Then a civilization will be born where the whole culture will be populated with adults who have great souls, a call to the Kingdom of God, a passion to do what is right, a desire to protect the weak, and an honest moral character that is the foundation of right decisions made in politics, medicine, government, media and the arts.

Yes, it requires great personal sacrifice. But in the battle between evil and good, the allegiance between our commitment to our God or our bowing to Satan has always required sacrifice. Evil is never passive and never takes a break–and neither can God’s chosen ones cease to work tirelessly to be about His business.

And yet, to invest in such a way, a woman must invest in the word of God, in pondering Him, knowing Him, walking with Him her personal life that she may pass on her legacy out of integrity lived day by day.

 When mothers abandon this great and important responsibility, there is a greater tendency for children to become the kind of adults who can be self-centered and self-serving; under-developed and ineffective without intentional training, --those who can overlook unrighteousness without any pang of conscience—because that conscience has never been developed. They become the kind of adults who can passively let others take responsibility for our government and country--to accept and validate those who would promise the moon even though the moon isn’t available in reality. When a person has no convictions, he cannot operate his life in God’s strength. It is moms who help to develop foundations of righteousness in their children’s souls.

 For this gatekeeping to occur there must be hundreds—thousands—of dinners made, laundry loads run, backs scratched and cookies baked. There must be watercolor projects and messes, hikes and games of hide and seek, money spent on wonderful life-giving books and concerts and the theatre. It will not happen in the absence of a cost.

Listen, for I will speak noble things.

Time spent ministering to our children is time well spent because that investment grants us the door to their hearts. When they are soft to us because we have ministered to their needs, their minds and hearts will be soft to hear our values, our convictions, and our guidance. Moms, the way you invest your life today will indeed have a great impact on history. We need to buck up, strengthen the areas that are weak, and decide to accept the work load of small children with joy, as would please our heavenly Father. The cultivating and raising of great souls is of the utmost importance.  Your life is making a difference. Take time in the word, take time to read those books which call you to excellence, spend time praying with friends of like mind–and don’t give up!

“For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised.” Hebrews 10:36

But live into the role, calling out to those who are walking on a path of our world, inviting them to a place we have prepared for them where they can experience LIFE.

Think about a special time you could have with your children that would soften their hearts toward you. What would you want to share with them during that time? Make it a habit to build deeply into the foundations of their mind's ability to think truly, and express their values in a real world.

Your home is a place of transformation, a place where future generations will be shaped in the ways they will live and respond to the world in their lifetime. Spiritual disciplines are not frivolous but essential to every generation--that they can draw from those who have invested in wisdom.Be inspired to build your Own Life Giving Home and raise a strong, confident generation right where you are.

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Hope you enjoy the podcast today with Kristen and Me!

SEE MANY OF YOU IN NASHVILLE/BRENTWOOD, TN THIS THURSDAY NIGHT.

(FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO HERE! )

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The Gift of Grace Grants Freedom to be at Ease

Dear Lord,So far I've done all right.I haven't gossipped,haven't lost my temper,haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent.I'm really glad about that.

But in a few minutes, God,I'm going to get out of bed.And from then on,I'm going to need a lot more help."

A candle, cup of tea and my Bible get me started off right. I've laid my burdens at Jesus' feet. I've read His words and they have ministered to my heart. I've worshiped Him. I have asked Him to change me, to help me grow, to bless my family and lead them. I'm sure it's going to be a wonderful day, and all is well with the world.

And then I get out of the chair.

And sometimes, it feels as if all is downhill from there!

Once, when I had 3 teens and a 4 year old, I had a lovely quiet moment in my bedroom watching the snow fall gently out the window as I sipped my last sip of tea. My heart said, "This is going to be a great day, what a great way to start, I am feeling peaceful."

No more had I left my bedroom and walked the hallway to the bedroom, than I was already irritated at my children and gave them a lecture.

"Wow," I thought. "Where did that come from?" And guilt immediately filled my heart.

Wouldn't motherhood, wifehood, even Christianity be much easier ... if there weren't any other people involved?

I have been thinking lately about some secrets I learned along the way that have helped me through some of the

God loves relationships. He, Himself, exists as a relationship--Father, Son and Spirit, three in One--a mystery we can't wrap our minds around. We bear His image, and part of that is this need we have for relationships; to know and be known, to love well, to draw strength and learn from one another. Yet relationships are not easy. Sinful people, living together in a broken world, sometimes hurt one another. We misunderstand and are misunderstood. We struggle with pride and envy, greed and deceit. So do those around us--and our children are no exception.

We need God's grace--His undeserved favor.The kind of favor that says, "I know you are limited. I know you are a toddler in your faith. I will cover your flaws and my love for you will never, ever change because you are mine and I love you."

"Giving the gift of grace to our children is actually a two-part process. First, we need to help our children receive grace. We do this both by extending grace to them, by being patient, by overlooking failures and telling them we believe in the person they will become. We accept the limitations of their phase of life--teens need sympathy for sometimes feeling lost and needy, with a desire to have others love and affirm them. Toddlers need us to be patient as they go through their first phase of independence while pushing against us a bit. Tired children do not need discipline, they just need to go to bed.  Then we instruct them about  God's gracious love that chose to redeem us through salvation. After that, by our teaching and example, we must train our children to give grace to others in turn.

Jesus summed up this two-part process when He was asked to name the greatest commandment. He said we are first to love the Lord God with all our hearts (receiving grace) and then we are to love our neighbors as ourselves (giving grace). This commandment, therefore, sums up the first gift we can give to our children--the desire and ability to understand and receive the grace of God and to give it to the rest of the world.

Understanding the importance of the gift of grace has really helped me respond to the daily dilemmas and frustrations of life in a household of four children. As we go through our days, for instance, I try to be mindful that, to God, relationships are always a top priority. I try to think of ways I can model for my children the redemptive grace and love of Jesus--and also influence them to extend grace to others through their actions and their attitudes." ~ The Ministry of Motherhood

We will always be pressed by our relationships. My prayer is that they press us all closer to the heart of God, Who loves to extend His grace to us, and teaches us through His example to do the same.

Hope to see you who live in middle Tennessee at the Nashville event next Thursday. We shall have a grand evening together.

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