Keeping Advent: Hope for a Dark World & Malcolm Guite

IMG_1245.jpg
Play Episode 221

You will also love Joy’s advent podcast this week all about the history, purpose, and beauty of advent. You can find it here.

"And the people who were walking in darkness have seen a great light."

Candles flickered on the green wreath as one more friend piled through our creaky old door from the cold, snowy street. Sitting around our orphan table recently purchased at a second hand furniture store, I felt quite pleased with the ambiance and the company sharing our table in our small, chilly Austrian cottage. 

An Iraqi refugee we met at church, asked us to pray he could get a passport so that he could go back to visit his mother who had cancer. Another Austrian friend teared up as he asked us to pray for the overwhelming pain he was feeling from having his wife leave him for another. My sweet Bible study partner mentioned the homesickness she felt working at the United Nations alone, thousands of miles from Taiwan. My own father had cancer and his illness prohibited us from going home for Christmas with our infant Joel and 2 1/2 year old Sarah. 

All of us had a hole in our hearts, a longing for comfort, for hope of a comfort, or assurance that we would find light amidst the shadows of darkness swimming around inside. 

Clay read from Isaiah 9:2, 

"The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in the land of darkness, light will shine." We spent the evening eating hot buttered herb bread, savoring steaming bowls of potato cheese soup, munching nuts and cheese, but living in the comfort of each other's encouragement and love. This celebration of His coming heartened us all. 

I love advent. It prepares me every year to remember that we are not alone, we have this treasure in earthen vessels, God with us. Just the picture of a tiny infant, being celebrated by angels, a young mother and father caught up in the miracle of a new birth warms my heart to the depths. So much to celebrate in this timeless story. But during the busy month ahead, to take time to prepare our hearts for His coming is a life long habit of worship that will strengthen us the whole year. 

Today on my podcast, I am introducing you to my friend, Malcolm Guite, a scholar in Cambridge, a Poet and very winsome and informative teacher. You will love hearing about why and how we celebrate Christ throughout the church year.

Today on my podcast, I am introducing you to my friend, Malcolm Guite, a scholar in Cambridge, a Poet and very winsome and informative teacher. You will love hearing about why and how we celebrate Christ throughout the church year.

**********************

Advent mirrors the quiet but soulful longing that grows deep inside where no one sees. We cry for the touch of our creator amidst the whirlwind of trying to make it through one more busy day. Painting a smile on our face, we stuff down the cries that remain silent to those around us, where we want someone to notice, to care, to save us. My dear friend, Holly Pakiam, shared some of there thoughts about advent, mingled with my own.

Christmas has become a secularized time in which many do not know that our Jesus came because he saw a world that was helpless to save themselves, that they are filled with the disbarring, soul-killing sin that darkens their hearts.

The trouble with the generalized ‘holiday season’ isn’t that it is a part of some calculated ‘war on Christmas’; it’s that it leaves us with no lexicon for longing. It gives us snow and songs, elves and sales, cookies and cards…but no vocabulary for grief, for sorrow, for the deep ache in our hearts.

 This is why we have come to appreciate Advent. Advent isn’t a spiritual, alternative name for ‘Christmas’; it is its own season, a season of preparation for Christmas. Advent is when the anticipated joy of Christ’s first arrival puts us touch with our anticipated joy at His return.

 Advent is a joy that helps us hope.

Advent is when we give voice to the ache and pain and longing in our hearts. Advent is also when we confess our own participation in the brokenness of the world. Advent, then, is not only about longing for Christ to come again and put everything back together; it’s about repenting and receiving grace so that we get to be put back together now.

But there’s one more piece. Advent is not only about longing for Christ to put the world back together, not only about repenting and letting Christ put us back together; it is also a chance to participate in bringing wholeness to others.

 As we enter the Advent season, could we as the people of God, be a part of the answer to the longing in people’s hearts?

Making time to invite your neighbors into your home for a warm drink or serving in the local Rescue Mission. Or maybe its through taking a moment to ‘see’ a colleague who’s going through a difficult time. It may seem difficult to carve out time to give to the things you desire in this season. We’ve had to cut out some of our regularly scheduled things to carve out space to focus on this season.

All around the world, we light the first purple candle in the Advent wreath as a symbol of Hope. Whether we sense God or feel a great void or doubt about his presence, we believe He is the hope of the world. The longing we have in our hearts for this world to be set right will come to pass. There are brief glimpses of Joy that remind us of this hope. Until then…we wait.

IMG_1241.jpg

Our family participated in many activities through the years that helped the coming of Christ come alive in daily practices in our home.
•     Advent Wreath: Every Sunday of Advent, light a candle in the Advent wreath along with reading a devotion to your family as you prepare to celebrate hope, peace, joy, and love.

•     The first two weeks focus on the second coming of Christ. The prayers, Scripture readings, and hymns are more solemn, drawing us to repentance as we look toward the last days.

•     In the second two weeks, the mood lightens. We turn our focus to Christ’s birth and begin our joyful preparations for Christmas.

•    In a devotion, you could pray, “Tonight, all around the world, we light the purple candle in the Advent wreath as a symbol of Hope. Whether we sense God or feel a great void or doubt about his presence, we believe He is the hope of the world. The longing we have in our hearts for this world to be set right will come to pass. Until then…we wait. 

Even though we participated in this celebration in our church, we always had a shared meal on Sunday evenings with readings, poetry and personal engagement with this hope we engaged in as a family.

Music

•     Midwinter Carols Vol. 2 by Joel Clarkson

(purchase here)

 
 

We have received so many letters about Joel’s first Christmas album over the past several years. This year, Joel has composed a new one that delights me to the toes., It is truly so beautiful.

 You can find Malcolm’s book which is wonderful to ponder.

 
 

Favorite Advent and Christmas Picture Books for Children 

 

•     The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey by Susan Wojciechowski

This book is one of the Clarkson kids favorite stories!


Letters from Father Christmas
By J. R. R. Tolkien

I, Sally, also love this classic story and read it and was touched when in high school     

•     Letters from Father Christmas by J.R.R. Tolkien



 

•     The Legend of the Candy Cane by Lori Wahlberg

 

•     The Legend of St Nicholas Dandi McCall    

•     Christmas with Anne by L.M. Montgomery

•     The Miracle of Saint Nicholas by Gloria Whelan

Nutcracker
By E.T.A. Hoffmann

•     The Nutcracker by E.T.A. Hoffman, Illustrated by Maurice Sendak

We have seen this ballet many times and the highlight was when we lived in Vienna. Sarah was 3 years old, but squealed at the lovely swaying across the stage of the elaborate Opera House.

HERE     

Another favorite collection of advent stories to use with children begins with Jotham's Journey. Many consider this a favorite and a heart-warming story. 

 go HERE

Can't leave out one of my favorite books--may be out of print. It will bring sweet tears and is a great story for your children to think about what giving sometimes costs.

HERE

Thank you, Malcolm and Holly for sharing your thoughts and resources. You are a gift to us.

 There are lots more books in my home, but you will just have to come visit me and see my library and have a cup of cheer. 

I hope you will enjoy the podcast I did with Malcolm to encourage you in your own advent journ

Play Episode #221

Spreading Christmas Cheer ... At Home!

Most of us are entering into the Christmas season and trying to figure out how to take care of the needs of our loved ones, keep feeding the masses, maintain our responsibilities and stay sane. Yet, there is a part of me, through the years, that has learned to “give in to the Christmas Season.” I don’t mean the commercialism or being too busy and over committed. But learning to enjoy the gifts given, however simple, the simple celebrations of home, the lights and the mystery of imagination that can be so much a part of the joy of life.

From my earliest childhood, I remember Christmas as a time of lights, sparkles, smells, color and delight. Christmas touches on parts of our lives that point to the ways God wants us to find delight and joy throughout eternity. Most nights in December, I would sit under our tree and look at the lighted loveliness and dream about life, and what I might someday become. Romantic thoughts of every kind floated through my head.

One of the gifts my mother gave to me through this sacred season was a love for hospitality--sharing this sparkly life, love, friendship, beauty with those in our community.

Sometimes the imagination for us to ponder that Jesus is preparing a feast for us, that He cast the stars into place where the angels sang, to understand His glory comes from experiencing this kind of sparkle, beauty, light, celebration in our real lives.

God as a light to brighten our lives becomes real when a child sits under a sparkling Christmas tree and hears, “For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. - 2 Corinthians 4:6

“Taste and see that the Lord is good,” is much more easily imagined in a home where hot cinnamon rolls are consumed with great joy together as they emerge from the warm oven.

“Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” - (Luke 2:14) is more easily believed in a home where the sparkles of beauty show the possibilities of a heavenly sky and the generosity of love gently given through a warm touch or sweet words are given when peaceful relationships are shared.

The hospitality of God, His desire to give food to the hungry thousands who had come to see Him, to provide manna for his traveling millions across the desert, the banquet at the end of the world can be imagined when hospitality is a grace of every day life.

My father was, for most of his life, a real extrovert. He loved people and the more the merrier. Often, we would have a hundred people in our home at once--they just spread out all over the house and yard and the porch and everywhere! Sometimes it was friends from church or neighbors and kids; sometimes business associates and people from a larger arena. But all made themselves comfortable all over our home, sitting on furniture or the floor or even a blanket on the grass--people everywhere coming together to share in moments of life. 

In preparation, all of us kids were assigned rooms to clean, goodies to make in the kitchen, dishes to wash, lawns to mow. We were the staff my mother learned to employ. Because it was a part of the oxygen we breathed in our home, we all became used to playing host. And so, my children have also grown up decorating tables, cooking, putting lights outside, and providing the candles and music that adorn each event in our home. Sometimes that meant they would have to share their bedroom and sleep on our bedroom floor. But always, hospitality was an adventure we engaged in together. 

These patterns of sparkle, delectable smells, love shared were generously strewn through the moments of Christmas that our children could more adequately imagine our savior come to the world to love, to celebrate life, to create beauty, to restore and generously give us life.

The messes are not all tamed, ever--there is always a pile somewhere, or dust or a smudge--but who would notice with all the people living and laughing and sharing life? Perfection was never the goal, but rather, reaching out to people to serve them.

I look back to my childhood years as the time I learned all about making my home a place of life and food and fun--to my mom who taught us to work, to greet, to serve little trays of food around the house and to learn to love serving the life of Jesus, to enjoy celebrating the breadth of life well in the walls of our home.

This Christmas, I pray you’ll find ways to spread Christmas cheer first to your own home—and then maybe invite someone in to enjoy it with you!

Peace be with you today.

A Personal Tea Time Christmas: The Gift of Yourself & Podcast

Lighting a candle on a tiny table near my window looking out on the snow covered ground, I eagerly anticipate the arrival of my dear friend. I picked the most pleasant view out the window so that our souls will feast on beauty as we talk.

A small crystal bowl is filled with salted, roasted butter pecans. A matching bowl of fresh blueberries sits next to it. Dark chocolates, wrapped in silver paper, one of her favorites, sit in a small old pedestal dish I recovered from a second hand store. My old Austrian tea pot is filled to the brim with strong Yorkshire Gold tea, a favorite of my guest.

I have already pondered the questions I will ask to make our time purposeful because I know it will pass too fast. From doing this at Christmas so many years, we both can hardly wait. I will look into her eyes and even notice the wrinkles around her eyes, the demeanor of her countenance because I want to see into her heart. How has life treated her these past months? Is there a furrow in her brow? What challenges has she encountered? What book has she been reading? And I will take her hand in mine and tell her how very glad I am to be with her and how much I love her. I will ask, how can I pray for you today?

From years of being intentional with one another, we have a heritage of heart sharing that has sustained both of us through many years.

I can't even begin to count how many close friends I have made over a meal or cup of coffee or tea. There is something about stealing time away from the "busy" of life and sipping something wonderful, smooth and warm while sitting in an environment where secrets can be shared, silly moments discussed, sympathy is poured out and dreams become real in the speaking. 

Strong coffees in Vienna with new friends who became "besties" gave me a love for tea times.

Saturday morning omelettes and cheesy egg quesadillas became the foundation of a Saturday tradition that knit my heart to my sweet daughters.

Tea times on my front porch with would be friends opened hearts together so we felt understood. 

Tea times on the back porch with warm chocolate chip cookies have knit my heart close to my children, one at a time so that they can each feel seen, listened to, understood.

Tea Time Discipleship is what I call it. It is a strong draw to pull together when the atmosphere has been set, the table is laid, and the person feels welcome. 

Christmas will undoubtedly, probably be busy for most of us. Yet, putting aside special times for those you love is the best gift you can give to those you love and to yourself. Cross some of the crazy, unnecessary activities off your list and give the gift of yourself. Determine 5 people you will have a quiet time of friendship with this month. Write a small card or send a message and put these beloved or needy ones into your calendar. Be sure to include your children, husband or those who come most quickly to your mind as someone who will indeed be blessed by such a time.

I hope you will enjoy my podcast today as I share about tea time discipleship with you and I know you will love the chapter. It could change your relationships as it has mine—such a treasure, such a simple secret. Enjoy!

Consider giving these books to a friend and have tea times to discuss them together! Use your table all year to build closer relationships.

Play Episode #220

Training Children in Contentment (Our 24 Family Ways #10)

womanwindowshop.jpg

Family Way # 10

"We are content with what we have, not coveting what others have."

“But Godliness is actually of great gain when accompanied by contentment. For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out, either. If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content.”

I Timothy 6:6-8

Rage, anger, frustration, jealousy, selfishness and envy storm in every person's soul. How do I know?  Because they have raged in my own soul.

Sometimes sin seems like a distant, impersonal issue in church sermons.Pronounced from the pulpit, it seems far away, while our own sins go unknown by those around us.  

Most of us sit silently, hiding the battles in our heart over our failure to love or forgive, battling silently with the demons that plague us at times when we see into the dark corners of our hearts.

We underestimate the damage sin has caused. A grid of self-centered reality permeates the way we see life. When we measure ourselves by the circumstances of our lives, we often come up judging others, criticizing them rather than ourselves.

Our sin corrupts our vision.

Our culture glorifies material possessions as a source of happiness. Those who have more are said to be happier than those of who have less, and we feel if we are the less-have-ers, we are somehow unjustly struggling.  We believe a new house, a better car, a larger salary, or more recognition will bring us happiness. Often, the longing for more things leads to us idolizing money, working extremely long hours as we seek to provide for ourselves instead of trusting God with our humble circumstances. Physical perfection, too, is held up as a standard everyone should be able to match--although, of course, we always come up short in real life which is not airbrushed or filtered!

All of these sources and other cultural messages feed our vulnerable, tender point of temptation--that of discontent. If only we had......a better car, a bigger house, a better marriage partner, more well-behaved children, a  more exciting life, more love, etc ... then we would be happier. It is not sinful or wrong to have desires for something more. We were made for perfection, love, joy, and great blessing.

However, when Adam and Eve rebelled against God, it set the whole world in a motion of destruction and brokenness, disappointment and living well became a battle.

The only way that we will ever be able to be content is to realize the nature of a fallen world--(this is not heaven yet) and then to cultivate a level of thanksgiving and contentment in the life we have been given.  To choose to see the goodness of God, to look for His fingerprints every day in our lives, to have an eternal perspective is the only way we will be able to be content. 

Contentment is a heart issue. We cannot change our emotions and selfish desires by force. Our only hope is to look to God, to ask Him to teach our heart to be contented, to want to trust Him and not live in ungratefulness or in looking to what others have. Choosing to be content, resting our desires and dreams into God's hands, learning to love and bring light into broken places is the beginning of learning to be content.

As long as we covet what we do not have, we will never be at peace.

Whether in marriage or family or with possessions, the beginning of contentment is to know that having our own way and practicing selfishness or expecting perfection in a fallen world, will just be a vain goal.

Join me today on my podcast and ponder how to give the burdens you are carrying to God and how to breathe in contentment in your life.

 
 
Play Episode #219

Thanksgiving Reflections ...

thanksgivingplace.jpg

Praise the Lord!

I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart, In the company of the upright and in the assembly.

Great are the works of the Lord; They are studied by all who delight in them.

Splendid and majestic is His work, And His righteousness endures forever. He has made His wonders to be remembered; The Lord is gracious and compassionate.

He has given food to those who fear Him; He will remember His covenant forever.

He has made known to His people the power of His works, In giving them the heritage of the nations.

The works of His hands are truth and justice;

All His precepts are sure. They are upheld forever and ever;

They are performed in truth and uprightness. He has sent redemption to His people;

He has ordained His covenant forever; Holy and awesome is His name.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;

A good understanding have all those who do His commandments; His praise endures forever."

~Psalm 111

The past few mornings, I have awakened in the wee hours of the morning. I get really sleepy about 9 or 10pm and can't hold my eyes open, but sometime during the 3 o'clock hour, I awaken and have difficulty going back to sleep. I have learned not to panic about lack of sleep over the years, having had three asthmatics and lots of other non-sleeping issues in our home. Usually I just look at this time as a time to pray or write or read my Bible and other spiritual books.

Myriads of details are on my plate right now--children's educational and job situations; ministry conferences and all this year's upcoming changes; book proposals; people visiting; supporting Clay in his work and multitudinous responsibilities and pressures; Christmas, Bible studies and celebrations and book parties in my home; sad circumstances of friends; the future; etc. etc.

And yet, God is above and over all of these things.

His work is done in faithfulness.

God is good and He is good to me. And He will always be good. As I turned my heart to praise Him in the dark hours of the early morning, my heart was deeply touched and so deeply grateful for His sustaining and loving presence.

Verse after verse flooded my heart.

He deserves all of our worship and thanksgiving.

He is working in and through all of us in this moment in history. He is bringing us closer to the time when He will cast satan away and rule as our righteous judge forever. He is preparing a place for us. He has promised never to leave us. He works all things together for His good to those who are called to Him. He loves us with an everlasting love. He hears our prayers and He even prays for us. He is with us, always, everywhere.

There are no details of my life that He is not above and in which He cannot help. Mine isn't to figure out all of the answers to my families' needs. Mine is to rest in Him; to adore Him as a child who cuddles against its mother. To sing to Him the songs and peace of my heart because I am in worthy hands.

As I ponder so many of these truths, I see His wonderful faithfulness through all the other busy years, so that I can say with David,

"I have been young and I have been old and I have never seen the righteous forsaken, or their seed begging for bread."

Even when I didn't know how things would turn out, He was at work, in faithfulness and love.

May we all bring a smile to God's face today, because of the appreciation in our hearts and on our lips and in our deeds for His faithfulness, righteousness, generosity and love. May God be praised in our land today and in our homes.

I pray you have the happiest of Thanksgivings!

Creating the Peace Through the Holidays & Podcast With Joel!

Screen Shot 2018-11-06 at 7.58.08 PM.png

Living with children in a home is a messy business. Eating multiple times a day rumples the kitchen, creativity and pretend make for a cluttered, disorganized living area, imperfect children naturally generate conflict. But the key to all of this swirling activity becoming a place of life-giving is dependent on the conductor of life in the home. If a mama accepts this as a healthy, normal pattern of family and seeks to cultivate an atmosphere of love, affirmation, and a heart filled with the peace of God’s presence inside, the memories of home will be sweet, and will provide a secure place in which children are free to develop and grow.

Peace starts in the heart of a mama and is contagious to those who live around her. A happy, peaceful woman is a gift to all who come into her home. Wisdom teaches us that some of the holiday dinner will be burned or undercooked, glasses of sparkling juice will be spilled. Someone might even become ill. But if a mama prepares her heart for these possibilities, she will create harmony in her symphony of life.

Arm yourselves with the purpose of practicing living with a peace-filled life this week so that you may more easily breeze through the extra stress of the holiday season with the grace God is so willing to give. Family was His good idea, and He wants you to know the delight of it, not the disappointment.

Next week, Clay and Nathan will be gathering with dear friends in Colorado Springs to celebrate Thanksgiving together. I will be making turkey and whatever I can find to celebrate here in Oxford with Sarah and Thomas, Lily, Joel and Joy. We will miss being with our boys in the States, but we will think about them and call and celebrate over the internet.

As a woman in her mid-sixties, I have developed some perspective in life just by living long enough. I have many friends throughout the world, have had so many opportunities to travel, to experience life through lots of adventures. Yet, at this point of life, my relationship with my children and with Clay is what gives me the deepest and most abiding pleasure.

These are my people. Being with them is where I belong. Knowing one another deeply and supporting one another as a devoted community is such a rare gift that we all share. I need this close community. Clay and I need and depend upon our adult children for the emotional fellowship we all share, the rousing conversations about theology which means so much to all of us, our dreams, wishes and fears and all that goes into making a close friendship so special.

As I approach Thanksgiving, which we will share together in my small home, I anticipate that we will share in the celebration we have had through many seasons—to honor God, to humbly gather as a family and to recognize His goodness together, as a community who believes deeply together that He is our source of life in every aspect. I already know we may not start dinner on time if Lily needs one more nap, or one of the girls may not quite have their part of the meal ready—and Joel may be late in making and mashing the potatoes. Yet, I anticipate that my grace spoken, given felt through the holidays as the hostess honoring Jesus in my home, will be the fragrance of His love passing through all of us as we gather in His name.

Yet, it makes me so excited to think that soon, at Christmas, all of us, and baby Lily, will be together, again to share in the life that has been created over so many years.

One crisp fall evening a couple of years ago, ended with a blazing sunset of reds, pinks, and corals shouting for attention out our back deck found us taking a moment to admire. As we were sitting in peace, the front door opened and my then 26-year-old, Joel, strode in with weary face and exhausted body.

"I just decided to come home after working all last night and today, because I need some rest and peace.”

Dinner still a half-hour away, I quickly cut some savory cheese and placed crisp, whole-grain crackers on a plate and poured a bubbly drink in a glass, handing him my offering, "Just a little something to hold you over ‘til dinner is ready."

The furrowed brow softened and he said,

"This is why I came home--I knew you all would fill me back up, and I wanted peace and quiet for at least one night."

One of the best powers of home is the life that comes from within, giving comfort and a place to belong, soothing the soul, inspiring the mind, and giving a moral compass through all the twists and turns of life.

Often when we think of having company over, especially during the holiday season, we think of cleaning our home, cooking great meals, decorating, and putting forth our best.

Yet the giving of hospitality to our beloved children is an imperative art that will truly reach their souls and give them a reason to believe in the God of love and holiness.

When bodily needs and emotional needs are met; when minds are filled with nobility and inspiration, then souls are predisposed to follow the God who is revered in all of these rituals.

And so, as we approach the holidays, consider especially how to make a lifegiving home for your children. Whether small ones who you caress and give cool sips of juice, teens who rage with hormones and moods but need times of thoughtfulness and perhaps cookies prepared on their behalf, or a weary husband who needs patience and compassion served alongside a favorite treat…

Let us make HOME: a place where the giving of hospitality and love becomes the life through which your children see Jesus incarnate in your home.

As you prepare to cultivate a people, a place and a community within your family and at table, remember, it is the daily celebrating of life together, that will prepare for you a heritage and deep friendships that will satisfy the deepest places of your soul the rest of your life. It is a gift to inherit and one of the greatest works of your life.

My people are my dearest and best friends and they make me feel I have a place to belong.

AND, I AM SOOO EXCITED TO SHARE WITH YOU A WONDERFUL, AND ABSOLUTELY SOUL-DELIGHTING MUSIC THAT WILL PROVIDE A BACKGROUND OF SOOTHING AND INSPIRING BACKGROUND FOR BREATHING IN A PEACEFUL HOLIDAY.

Purchase MIDWINTER CAROLS VOL. 2 by clicking HERE

 
 

Set a great mood in your home for the season, starting with Thanksgiving! Purchase HERE

Play Episode #218

Making Gratitude a habit (Our 24 Family Ways #9) & Podcast

grateful for little or lot.jpg

"We are thankful for what we have, whether it is a little or a lot."

"Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

I Thess. 5:16-18

Joel, my wonderful oldest son, celebrates his birthday today.

I love to celebrate him because he is such a gift to his mama. He is talented in so many ways. (His new Christmas album is utterly amazing! You will love it.) By God’s grace, Joel has become such an gifted and articulate theologian and creative writer. He has shouldered so many projects with me, encouraged me along so many of my paths and be the very best and truest of friends. Yet, he is also the “helper” guy of our family.If something needs fixing or if Clay and I need help on the internet or if an errand needs to be done, he is there. I know we have probably all abused him because he is so willing to do whatever any of us asks. I am deeply thankful for the gift of “Joel” and am so very privileged to be with him today. He brings me so much joy.

As I was thinking about him this week, I remembered his birth. We were living in Austria in a very tiny, old little cottage. It was quite small and the rain poured in through one of our walls every time it rained. We had pigeons regularly nesting in our attic just above our bedroom because of the hole in the roof. (We named one of the pigeons, Walter, after the actor, because Sarah as a 2 1/2 year old would scream with delight—”Mama, listen, I think Walter is back.”

We had very small quarters and a sweet friend, a young woman, was living with us but was quite depressed. That year, we had walls of snow, literally, as it was below 32 degrees for 3 weeks straight.

Yet, I was to learn one of my best lessons of life. I learned day by day, to be happy that I had a home, even though it was quite flawed, and have the sweetest memories of my toddler Sarah delighting me every day and Joel, the boy I had prayed for cooing and smiling from cheek to cheek. My joy was full.

I find I am so very happy here for reasons that are deeply satisfying to my soul. I love being able to be down the street from my very first grandchild and care for her each week. I love interacting and living near several of my children and being inspired by what they tell me they are learning.

I have found such spiritual and soul filing relationships with women who are hungry for training, encouragement, help in their journey’s as women who love God. I love being a small part of helping them in their walk with God.

Even though I miss home and I miss Clay, this year is a gift in many ways and being grateful for what I do have makes it a blessed place.

A grateful heart sees the fingerprints of God in normal every day circumstances, be they great or challenging.

My children learned this lesson many years ago when they were tiny. I thought they needed the “more” that this materialistic culture persuades me they must have. But life taught me that they could be quite content with the basic needs of love given, mental, spiritual and emotional life provided and a home where meals were celebrated every day. I hope this will encourage you today.

Many years ago, as a young, idealistic mama, I wanted to provide my children with all the best experiences, opportunities, books, toys, bikes, lessons--all the things we all feel pressured to provide for our children. When we started Wholeheart Ministries, though, we moved to a tiny country town, lived with my mother-in-law, and got by on a negligible salary for several years.

Shopping at Goodwill was the way to go, as we could not afford department stores. Spending at the grocery store sometimes made me feel guilty, because we just didn't have much money. Our budget didn't allow for all the things I thought my children needed.

Living out in the country with lots of space to roam and only a few friends, but lots and lots of time together as a family is probably the best thing that could have happened to my children. Because we did not have lots of toys, our children learned to pretend, create their own stories, draw and study nature, make up games, read lots of books, and spend lots of time outdoors with animals.

Because there was not even an option to have lots of "things", they became thankful for what they had. I was the only one who had any idea that they might be missing out, because I was listening to the voices of my peers!

Life to them was a joyful adventure where we had a little community called Clarkson. There was no need to be constantly entertained, because we did not have lots of media, gadgets, and toys, so they had not learned to expect them, and there were few neighbors nearby to tempt them with toys they did not have and almost no friends to play with daily.

Working, sharing, and patiently waiting their turn were some of the ways God built thankfulness into my children's hearts. 

We learned through this season to be thankful for sunrises and sunsets, for long wanders in the grassy fields near our home where I lived with my ever present mother-in-law. I was not smart enough to choose this for my family, but God in His wisdom, knew just what my children needed to build character, to teach them to be grateful for a simple life. He used our circumstances to train them!

Enabling children’s discontent and giving them idols of our own making by over-indulging them is common in our contemporary culture, but being spoiled and over-indulged creates a person who complains, whines and is weak in times of adversity.

Thankfulness is a habit of choosing to look for the blessings abundant in every day life.

Thankfulness requires us engaging in looking for ways we might worship God and then verbalizing our gratefulness.

Thankfulness comes from a heart that is willing to look for the fingerprints of God in simple moments. “I am not alone, thank you God. You are with me every day. I am thankful for the seasons, for being alive in your world, for knowing hope that takes me through this dark world, that I know truth that guides my every thought and decision every day.

Practice thankfulness outloud with your own children ever day. Don’t be a whiner. Give them the gift of looking for what matters. Don’t develop idols for yourself that will not fulfill, but be grateful for the life you have been given and your heart and your life will suddenly seem more full than you ever imagined.

This week, every day, notice the things that God has provided. Practice thanking Him for each way He has worked and blessed in your life. Have your children write thank you cards to friends of family for whom they are grateful. Breathing thankfulness into all the minutes of the days, creates a great pattern for life and helps you and your children to become more satisfied with what God has given.

 
 
Play Episode #217

Embracing Your Unique Puzzle of Life

differing teacups.jpg

“All these died in faith, without receiving the promises, but having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.” Hebrews 11: 3

"Mama, why do I have brown eyes and Sarah has blue eyes and Joel is so tall and Nathan has freckles and you and Daddy don't look alike?"

They say the average 4 year old asks almost 100 questions a day. But my little one was landing on a profound truth--none of us is the same. We are all different. Each snow flake has its own design--God was trying to tell us something! He love uniqueness. He does not compare us to each other. He intended for us not to conform but to live into the freedom we each have to discover the ways that will best serve our own family and our own situations.

Your children and marriage and finances and story will be uniquely different than anyone else you will ever meet. Why in the world do we attempt to follow formulas when we can see that our puzzles of life are so vastly different?

Each of us has a different life puzzle of life to assemble in order to bring order and to make sense out of all the pieces. The choices you make in the midst of your life journey do have eternal consequences. Yes, you can throw the pieces at God in anger and say, "I do not like the life you have given me, and I refuse to live within these limitations with a humble heart. You have made me a victim. You have ruined my life. I will choose to live in darkness." If that is your choice, the puzzle of your life will remain fragmented and separated, with holes in the picture.

However, if you choose to bow your knee and submit to the varied circumstances of your life, God will do miracles. If you choose to trust and develop your integrity and an inner standard of holiness that isn't dependent on cultural standards, the puzzle pieces will begin to come together. No matter what your limitations are--health issues, financial problems, a difficult marriage or divorce, a loss of friendship, death of a dream--your life is meant to be filled to the brim with the potential of God's blessings. But in order to thrive and heal, you must accept any limitations by faith, trust in His faithfulness each step of the way, and wait for His grace so you can live a faithful story right in the place you find yourself.

If you embrace your unique puzzle of life, you will find wholeness. As you look to God to slowly figure out how to put the pieces together, you will see a beautiful picture emerge. Your story lived faithfully will become your glory--the place where He builds messages, provides answers to prayer, and teaches wisdom.

I have a collection of teacups and mugs. Each is different in size, shape, and color--but every one of them is functional and beloved by my family. In the same way, each of our lives is unique. Our differences do not devalue our intrinsic worth, but they do create a different design. I have always told my children, "You might as well decide to like God's will for your life, since your circumstances are probably not going to change just because you wish they would."

I have also told them that life is not fair in this world--we may have to be faithful to difficult circumstances our whole lives on this earth--because this is not the final place, yet!

Jesus told us to lay up our treasures in heaven. When we accept the fallenness of this world, we learn how better to live into the moment.

"We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, who are called according to His purpose." ~ Romans 8:28

What defines and makes your life distinct? What resources do you have? What do you consider to be advantages to your particular puzzle? Are there any areas that seem impossible at this moment that you need to put into God's hands?

"Trust in the Lord and do good. Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness." ~ Psalm 37:3

Learning to see each turn in the road and each unique circumstance as a part of what God has ordained has helped me find purpose at each juncture. I ask Him, Lord, what can I learn from this? What message at this moment might prepare me to encourage someone in the same circumstances later? Show me Your faithfulness now so I can keep learning.

~from Own Your Life, which you can find here:




Fostering Great Conversation at the Table (LG Table #5)

element5-digital-431603-unsplash.jpg

“Here’s what I think . . .”


I just love living in Oxford. Most meals with friends or meals in my home here or talks with my children (including Nathan and Joel who don’t live here), are stimulating to me. I am learning something all the time. My view of God continues to expand. My desire to be a message maker grows in such an environment.

All of these great, truly life-changing discussions started at our dinner table. Night after night, chomping on something savory and warm, salty or creamy, bread slathered with butter, the stage was set for enjoyment, friendship, stimulation and purpose.

And so, “Here’s what I think,”

was heard every day, every night as our children sharpened their brain skills and built intellectual muscle.

It was a night just like any other, which is to say it was another evening of rousing discussion. Soup spoons suspended in midair, quizzical brows, the thumping of a printed-out article on the table. The article in question had been the source of that evening’s discussion. I can’t recall the exact topic of debate, but it likely had something to do with a current event, a book, an important idea or theological point, or some aspect of music or art or culture. And everybody—everybody!—had an opinion about it.

Once a learning exercise that Clay and I established and encouraged, dinnertime discussions grew to be the pulsing heartbeat of the Clarkson table. It seemed dinner had two purposes—to eat and to discuss.

In the beginning, I hosted these conversations. When our kids were very young, I would ask each of them to tell Clay the most interesting thing they had learned that day, share where we had gone on a field trip, or talk about what they had done with their friends. Their simple but enthusiastic sentences would tumble over each other as they shared the new facts they had picked up and adventures they’d had. In those days the dinner table was a place to practice manners and especially the arts of listening and asking. The goal was to honor the extroverts with a listening ear and gift the introverts with space enough for their words to be heard.

As they grew older, sometimes Clay would bring a book or article, read or summarize part of it, and then ask their opinions. We made a family policy that no idea was considered unworthy of our discussion and that no one, regardless of age or background, would be chastised or ridiculed for sharing an opinion. We sought to validate the thinking process in order to strengthen the muscle of thinking and engaging in ideas.

These days, when everyone is home, we still enjoy the ease of conversation and sharing that became so precious to us—along with the lively discussion that feels so familiar.

It is no wonder that Joy grew up to be a debater. Breathing in the oxygen of our table talk each evening prepared her brain to express her mind and back up her opinions.

I believe that fostering mealtime discussion has been vital to the spiritual, social, and emotional growth of all the individuals at our table. I hear tales that there are families who sit quietly at dinner, speaking not a word. And I must admit that at moments I wish we could practice that more often—especially when there are just boys at home. I am quite convinced that the glory of a man, at least a Clarkson man, is to win a discussion.

And yet I believe that our lively dinnertime discussions are one of the things that most positively shaped my and my children’s lives. Establishing the dinner table as a place of discussion fosters an environment where truth is sought through dialogue, graciousness is taught and upheld, and convictions are formed.

Thought and will are two of the greatest gifts God has given us through His image in our hearts. In His great wisdom and love, God designed us not to be automatons who respond with thoughtless obedience, but to be thinking, willing participants in His will. Though it is hard to fathom, God has made a place for us at His table, and He invites us there to pray, to ask, to wrestle, because He values our responses to Him. He wants us to relate to Him out of love and conviction.

True discipleship must reflect the fact that God values our voice, thought, and will. Dinnertime discussions reflect and enact this value, making a place where everyone can be heard, be exposed to truth, and have the space to develop convictions in the context of community. Through dinnertime discussions, convictions can be formed, confidence can be gained, conversation can be practiced, and consideration can be taught.

Play Episode #216

Forgiving & Covering An Offense with Love 24 Way 8 & podcast

flower forgiveness .jpg

Way  # 8

We forgive one another, covering an offense with love when wronged or hurt.

Memory Verse: So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Colossians 3:12-13

All of us make mistakes. We lose our temper. We are selfish and want the best or biggest piece of cake. We become angry over petty issues. We break someone else's toy.

No matter how hard any of us try, we will always always make mistakes and eventually fall short of someone's expectations and disappoint those who love us.

That is why forgiveness is so very essential to the message of Christ. We are those who love the best because we are those who give the most grace, and have been given the most grace. As we love Christ, He leads us to give grace and forgive.

In a world where culture gives us every kind of excuse to quit relationships, to hold a grudge, to become a victim of a difficult life, to gossip, to criticize, the practice of forgiveness stands out like a beacon of light for a defense of Christianity. 

It is not logical to forgive someone who has offended us, but it is supernatural--it can only come from walking in the power of the Holy Spirit. Yet, forgiveness and humility was constantly on the heart of Jesus.

Peter wanted to quantify forgiveness, like we all desire to do! He was willing to be noble and forgive someone, but after all, he thought there surely must be a limit! Perhaps 7 is the number we should forgive, Lord? He asked with a self-justifying heart.

No, Jesus said. 70 times 7--in other words, you must forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive, .........

Forgiving another person who has hurt us, damaged our reputation, who has continually been mean spirited or abused us in some way is one of the most difficult practices to exercise. All of us have been deeply hurt. It is natural to want to take revenge, or even to justify our own position and way of looking at an offense to justify lack of forgiveness.

Yet, it is the way of Jesus--the supernatural way of the Spirit in our lives to extend forgiveness and unconditional love.

"While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us," we read in Romans 8.

He who knew no sin became sin on our behalf. II Cor. 5:21

To truly understand Jesus, to worship Him from a grateful heart, requires that we learn to forgive and even to barely take offense when wronged. Bowing our knee and our will to actually forgive someone and expect nothing in return is not natural but supernatural. 

Jesus said that if someone hit us, we should offer him the other cheek. He told stories about forgiveness--the judge who forgave a very large debt of a man, who was not willing to forgive another man a small debt owed him.

In II Timothy 2:24, Paul admonished us:

"The Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged."

If we want our children to consider marriage sacred then we must behave as though it is sacred and forgive one another when wronged. Same with family members, neighbors, fellow believers in church, neighbors, everyone.

Forgiveness is the essence of God's heart. It compelled Him to die for us.

So, if we want to give our children a secret to living a life of love, we must teach them this Family Way. If we want our children to be godly leaders in this world, they must see self-sacrificing, humble forgiveness in and through our words, our lives and our actions.

One of the most important values I have come to understand from being a mama, is that when I take responsibility for the shaping of my children's hearts, to teach them truth, I have had to become more godly in order to teach them these life-changing truths.

And so, as we approach this week's way, let us understand that helping our children practice forgiveness over and over again, will establish a pattern in their hearts to remember when they must make this choice as adults. Train up a child in the way he should go--in forgiving 70 X 70 X70 and so on, and forgiveness will become a part of his paradigm for life. If we all loved this way and forgave, the world would indeed become a place open to the heart and message of Christ.

And so today, as you take this into your own heart, remember, that without forgiveness as a way of life in your home, your words about the death of Jesus and His sacrifice may become hollow, if forgiveness is not the rule of your own heart and home.

May God give each of us grace to become stronger and stronger at forgiving and extending love more every day. I think I will perfect this when I am 75! But at least I am working on it!

 
 
Play Episode #215