Fear Not! Living Beyond Anxiety & Podcast

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It’s three years since I had my misguided fall and cut my eye 4 layers deep in my cornea. Twelve weeks to the eye hospital in London ensued. We were not sure if I would keep any vision in my eye at all or if it would “look” normal.

Joel and Joy took me to the fields of flowers blooming in the parks in London. Dancing in the breeze, hundreds of golden blooms spoke to my heart. And they held my arm and lovingly guided me through all the loveliness.

“Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: yet I say unto you, that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God doth so clothe the grass of the field, which to-day is, and to-morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Be not therefore anxious, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? For after all these things do the Gentiles seek; for your heavenly for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.” Matthew 6: 25-32

As I saw them, (with my working eye), it became a soul reminder that God saw me, that He was lovingly watching over me. That He would guide me through this difficult time and I had no need of worry. We are all tempted to worry, to control our own lives. And yet, if we really understand that Jesus is on His throne, watching over us, we can put aside our fears and anxiety and live in peace. And so, I did find His peace every day of my painful journey.

I have told this story before. Another encouragement about choosing not to quit when we are tempted to give up. But I thought of it today and I think it is relevant to our current circumstances. A sweet young couple had decided to kayak from Maine down to Florida. They planned their trip, got sponsors to support them, and blogged and wrote about their trip. With all of the seasons and storms, it took them a year to finish their trip. 

Storms of great magnitude arose amidst their journey, and would send the waves crashing all around them. Often the rain would pelt continuously on their weary bodies and soak them to the bone. Discouragement would overwhelm them and they would think, "Why did we undertake this? We will never finish. It is too difficult. No one can do it!"

One time, however, in the midst of one such storm, they made a pact with each other. "We will never make a decision to quit when we are in the midst of a rain storm." 

A simple, but profound commitment. I decided that this was a statement worth following. 

If you are like me, there are many issues to worry about, to feel bad about, to cause anxiety.

At times, I would think thoughts like, "I cannot go on. My circumstances will turn out for the worst. There is no hope. Where has God gone."

And yet, it is in the midst of the storms of life, that our faith is most precious. It is in these times when we can say to Satan, "You would have me fear, but I choose to believe in the goodness of God and in His provision."

This time, filled with anxiety and fear, could from God's eyes of history, be one of the finest hours for Christians to stay true, to be faithful until the end, to endure hardship, to rejoice in His reality, to live by faith, "assurance of things hoped for, convictions of things not seen."

May the God of peace take you to a place of calm, and deliver you from all that would burden your heart. He is capable. He is with us.

Today, two of my friends and I shared our own stories of fears, anxiety, and dark feelings. I hope that this week when we remember the cross, you will find peace and rest for your souls.

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Light Overcomes Darkness, Beauty Overshadows Evil & Podcast

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The ways we live life, the habits we keep, the delight with which we celebrate and see our moments will shape our hearts, minds and souls for life. We must be careful to live well into the beauty that is possible so we can become beautiful inside and serve people from that place. Sally Clarkson

Why do I take so much care to create and enjoy beauty? Because I believe that beauty is a defiance to evil, as light is more powerful than darkness. The reason we spend so much time investing in sleeping out under the stars, giving back rubs at bedtime with a story, drinking tea out of real china (which keeps it hot longer), play music all day long, is because when we store up these transcending memories in the treasure chest of our hearts and minds, it gives us a place to go back to, to live in when we experience difficult and challenging moments.

A while ago, after a couple of trips and some wearying legs on an airplane, I was tired to my toes. But I had ordered tickets to a special event for my girls and me. Staying home was not an option. I had the privilege of attending a tea that one of my friends was holding in her modest, small home. The tables for 30 people around her living area in the hall, in corners, a small living-dining area. and all tables—many for just two people, had been set with care. Flowers, candles, centerpieces with small art pieces placed here and there. 

The fare was simple but elegant--fresh fruit--grapes, tangerines, strawberries served on a crystal dish with 3 kinds of cheese and multi-grain crackers. A scone and jam course. Finger sandwiches--cucumber, egg salad, ham and onion cream cheese and finally chocolates with petit fours. I learned from some of my friends that simple, second hand, unmatched but pretty dishes, tea pots, candle holders were all gathered at garage sales and remnant shops. It adds for interest to the decor.

Classical music wafted through the air as all the women present (including me and my two daughters) talked quietly--it was as if the atmosphere drew out an elegance and refined manners from all of us because we were tasting of beauty.

Between each course, our hostess showed us different Pre-Raphaelite prints from England that she had ordered online, beautiful prints of feminine women, knights, heroes and saints who were depicted by artists in the early 1900's who wanted to bring back the elegance and beauty into art. Alfred Lord Tennyson's life was told in between the prints as the foundation of many of the pictures being painted to reflect his poetry--in memoriam, being one of the best. The love story of his life, his struggle to prove himself, and his faithful love throughout his lifetime.

Our souls were elevated to higher thoughts. Our femininity was cultivated and refined and we were called upon to become more intellectually adept as we pondered how a movement of idealists had in influence on their culture because of their commitment to exalt marriage, and Biblical design of men and women reflecting excellence and beauty in character.

I could see Joy sitting straighter, listening to inspiration, desiring to become more ideal. And all because a woman, who is herself always learning and studying, wanted to pass on civility and beauty to her friends. I know it was a great amount of work, but her labor exalted our souls.

And so it is, we cannot pass on civility, beauty, intelligence, excellence of mind and heart, if we do not ourselves make these virtues a goal of our lives. Whatever we pursue and cultivate will determine what we are also able to pass on to all who we encounter. As stewards of our souls, we must seek to cultivate a garden of beauty--it must be a regular habit, a discipline, to expose ourselves to great minds, the best musicians, fine artists, great theologians, wonderful biographies--so that our souls will indeed reflect a museum of His great character and nobility--that of our great king.

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Sowing Seeds and Waiting on the Harvest

"Sow with a view to righteousness, Reap in accordance with kindness."

Hosea 10:12

I have always loved fields of flowers. Seems to me when I see fields and fields of beauty, (and blue and red are my favorite color), I almost feel like it is evidence of the invisible hands of God still planting flowers in His vast earth garden to remind us that He is still creating and perpetuating life, even when we are not aware.

The photo above was taken when Joy and I visited the rose garden in the Hofburg Palace in Vienna. The roses were planted and developed over time. A gardener explained in detail what it took to grow these strong, healthy rose bushes. The watering, pruning, nourishing over 200 years!.

What are you planing today? What you plant may leave a legacy for decades or even centuries! What you plant and water will grow—be it love or anger or diligence or laziness.

When looking at a tiny seed, it is impossible to see what will bloom from this minute speck of nothing, (-the color it will produce, the bloom or fruit, or how large the plant will be.) There is vast potential locked within, that under the right circumstances--planted in good soil, watered and covered in sunshine—will produce a miracle. The seed transforms into something more than itself--it gives birth to a plant that blooms and brings beauty, life, color and fruit; a miraculous something from nearly-nothing.

And so, God calls us to sow--to sow broadly, generously, diligently.

Sometimes the seeds that He requires us to sow do not obviously promise anything--yet, we are asked to believe in the potential--the latent miracles inside of these small life-seeds.

We are to sow with a view to righteousness--not seeing or knowing totally the vast potential of what is in our hands. But ours is to be faithful to sow, by faith, the seeds of promise given to us--

We are to cast the seed of promise into the soil of life, generously, diligently, faithfully--

And His is to do the miracle-

To take all of the planting of faith seeds, and love seeds, and integrity seeds, and faithfulness seeds, into the moments of our lives when no one else is looking;

faithfulness to the gospel and spreading the good news;

serving our children, and loving and helping our spouses;

praying and believing when no sprout of answer is in sight.

And yet, in time, in His hands,

there will be such a bounty of beauty, a harvest from the seeds planted in life, that we will finally see, that

He was creating the miracle right beside us--the seeds will indeed sprout into a harvest of righteousness and redemption that will be beyond what we could have imagined.

But, the harvest of such sowing is only for those who plant, and water and cultivate and wait, by faith, believing in the promise of what lays ahead.

So, dear God, let us look at the flowers you have planted and see the potential beautiful harvest of our lives, if we will only believe in the seed potential in our lives right now,

which by faith will become a harvest of righteousness beyond measure.

I have lived to see the harvest of much planting and tending. It is truly a miracle to behold.

Courage in Perilous Times & Podcast

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Courage: showing strength, practicing perseverance and acting in bravery in the face of fear, pain, difficulty or grief.

My dear friends,

I just returned from a ministry trip. I had put this blog post and podcast up before I left, not knowing about what would be happening in Boulder. My heart has been sick, my shoulders feel heavy with the grief of what has been happening in our country, and especially the last two weeks with violent shootings. We have had our share of violent shootings in Colorado. One even involved our church and friends. But, I do not want to make light of the suffering and pain we all feel during this time. But I do think that allowing Paul to encourage us from the long list of his own sufferings—and I do think, for our children’s sake, we must choose courage, showing strength, practicing perseverance, acting bravely in this face of fear, pain, difficulty or grief. I pray that God’s comfort and mercy will be real to you. And I pray you will all find a way forward—with gentleness for yourself, for your days, for those you .love. And may God’s compassion and sympathy be known to you in whatever emotional and spiritual place you find yourself. Here Is the blog/podcast I prepared last weekend for today.

After almost 68 years of subduing the life God has given me, I have walked through my fair share of adventures, joys, and sometimes disasters. One of the worst things the enemy can do is to truly convince us that our situation is unique, that we are completely alone, and that we will never be able to make it out to see the silver lining. While it's easy to believe that we are unique in these times of darkness and difficulty, scripture is filled with stories of disaster and destruction.

Acts 27:10 says:

"Men, I can see that our voyage is going to be disastrous and bring great loss to ship and cargo, and to our own lives also."

Paul was in the midst of a disastrous situation, and he made sure to warn his crew about the storm that he believed would cause absolute destruction. This would be a very different story if Paul left things off right there with warnings, worry, and hopelessness. However, an angel spoke to Paul and he went on to tell his crew in verse 25:

"Keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me."

Paul's words of hope and faith restored the crew and gave them courage.

Jesus himself encountered many disastrous situations. However, even in the midst of raging seas, He spoke peace and calm over the chaos. How would you react if a crazy, angry, hateful crowd came up to you and attempted to throw you off a cliff? When that happened to Jesus, He  simply passed through those people and went to the next town. Even when the devil plotted hate and harm against Him, Jesus never allowed anything to stand in the way of His purpose.

Because of the coming of Jesus, He took away any power the enemy could have to hurt us. However, we still have to choose faith, choose courage, and choose to keep walking through the disasters until we find joy and by faith, hold on to the steadfast hand of Jesus..

Many I know are in the midst of a battle right now, a war that is raging in your heart and soul. I challenge you to walk with courage and faith through this season, no matter how disastrous the voyage may appear to be. Just like the apostle Paul, your words of hope and faith will give you the strength and courage to keep going. You will leave a legacy of faith and faithfulness that will help generations to come, as Paul’s story has encouraged us.

So today, as an act of your will and worship, write out in your journal just where you need courage, how you will take the strength of God and write a story of His miraculous grace in the midst of your storms.

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Life Vision: Seeing Beyond What is In Front of Our Eyes

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“The dreams inside us point to a destiny we might have been created to fulfill.” Sally Clarkson, Own Your Life

When I look at this photo, my eyes see cold, lots of snow, freezing weather endlessly before us.

But when I see with my heart, I see all of us gathering to talk, share, drink endless cups of tea, watching the sunset together over the distant mountains, being friends together, gathering for secrets. It is because that is the actual history that has occurred on our front porch. Sometimes the view in front of us obscures the possibility of what could be ahead of us.

There was a time when I proclaimed that I wanted rockers for my front porch to gather everyone. I had to buy one at a time to afford them. I was teased for wanting to put 6 on our small porch because “we don’t need that many.” But I saw ahead to gathering all of my own for many a talk, meal, time of friendship, because I just knew in my heart that if I created a place for us to gather in a charming atmosphere, that probably the result would be that close relationships would happen—and sure enough they did.

Investing Ahead by Working Towards Goals now.

Giving gifts to my children is a special delight for me. One Christmas after a great deal of consideration, careful selection, and a healthy amount of sneaking, Clay and I were elated with the gift we had picked out for our precious son Joel: his first guitar.

It was a perfect fit for our most musical child. At only eighteen months old, Joel was singing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” perfectly and on pitch, and he began harmonizing at age three. As he grew, we watched his abilities blossom, so a guitar was an obvious choice to help him hone his gifts. That morning, pajama-clad and holding hot chocolate, Clay and I smiled as we watched Joel open the guitar case in wonder.

Seeing the look on his face as he ran his hands over the smooth shiny body of his new musical tool confirmed our choice of a gift. Joel did not access his potential overnight with his guitar. But over years, he took a few lessons from Clay, thrummed on it as a beginner, then progressed slowly until after years, he could play almost anything he heard and could compose songs he “heard in his head.”

Twelve years later, I sat with tears in my eyes, clapping with all my mama-heart as Joel walked across the stage at his Berklee College of Music graduation. The in-between years had been filled with picking, plucking, and strumming that built up calluses on his fingers to be able to fret the strings more easily. And along with the guitar would come new instruments to learn, new skills, and many hours of “jamming” in our living room.

The little boy who had once relished his first real instrument in my living room now stood before me on stage, Summa Cum Laude graduate and Composer of the Year, and an emerging master of his trade. Being a parent has so often given me a deeper understanding of God’s feelings towards me. My delight in giving gifts to my children recalls to mind what Jesus said in the sermon on the mount:

“If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:11).

The true delight of my parent’s heart was not only giving Joel the gift but watching his grateful and faithful response.

Life is like this. For so many years, we labor, we invest, we train, instruct, and in the midst of the mess of life, we are tempted to forget to keep imagining what might be ahead—what the payoffs of our hard labor might become if we stay the course.

Imagine if we had given Joel the guitar, and he had thanked us for it, but then over the years it sat in a corner of his room gathering dust. We did not give him the guitar with a contract that said, “You must practice with this, be faithful, and become a skilled musician.”

We gave it to him freely. But his faithfulness delighted our hearts as he put the gift to good use. Just as Clay and I knew our son and gave him a gift that we knew would both delight and empower him, so God gives to us even more generously since he is the one who knit us together “in the womb” creating and weaving into our being the very fabric of our personalities and personhood.

Developing Personal Vision

The dreams inside point to the destiny each of us was created to fulfill. We each want to know that our lives matter and that we are not invisible. When we see them only as a series of mundane days, and when we become consumed by busyness and the nonstop media around us, our lives will become empty. When we focus on the expectations of others or dwell on the hurts they have caused us, we become prisoners to the circumstances of our lives. Ignoring the eternal purposes God has designed for us leads to emptiness.

Living with the end in mind means living with an attitude that says, “What has God given me with which to be faithful today? How can I invest in His kingdom, even in this seemingly mundane moment?”

And sometimes faithfulness is very mundane.

When we fall into any of these traps, we tend to make excuses for the disappointment of living mundane, purposeless lives:

"I just don't have time for ministry to others."

"That sacrificial decision would not be financially feasible."

"I meant to write her a note [or call her when she was ill, or reach out to her when she was lonely, or give her some money when she was destitute], but it is too late now. I would probably just bother her."

"What would people think of me if I became that radical?"

"I might fail or embarrass myself."

"Why should I speak up? No one ever listens to me anyway."

Another extreme is when women try to control life and in essence try to control God, seeking to tame and manipulate their circumstances as much as possible in an attempt to avoid more stress and disappointment in life. In both cases, one year fades into another, each more disappointing than the last. If we are not careful, the sands of our lives will slip away, and our excuses will leave only empty echoes in the wind.

As Henry David Thoreau noted, "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation."

Determining what good works He created for you to do is essential to understanding how God might use you. Unless you evaluate your life, count the cost of serving God, and make a plan for how you will move ahead, none of this information will be of any help.

Often the story and circumstances of your life will influence your message. How do you want to use what you have experienced to speak into those who have similar lives?

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• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

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• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

My Favorite Things for a Civilized Life

"Do you just drink tea and light candles all the time every day? When do you get work accomplished and what do you do with the rest of your time?" asked someone who had read a few of my posts, but didn't know much about me.

It seems every year I feel I have never been busier in my life.  I am a cook by ideals, personality and taste and so I cook most nights, we now have 2 adult children living at our tiny home here in Oxford due to the pandemic and lockdowns, and I am married to a visionary husband who has an endless list of ideals and books and projects he wants us to accomplish in the next 10 years. Every day people make messes around here and bills have to be paid and blogs written, I spend time talking to each child, and though my opportunities to meet with others are nil right now, there are always new books each year and mentoring being done by phone as well as possible. And the list goes on and on--just like yours does.

Why wouldn't I want to light candles and listen to music and try to have some moment in my day that seemed quiet and peaceful?

When I was in my mid-40's, I suddenly realized that a wise woman keeps her own soul alive as no one else was looking out for my soul but me. This is a long-distance race and doesn't slow down so far as I can see, so it must be run with wisdom. Sabbath rest for my emotions, my body, my soul--my everything, is necessary for me to last well.

Unfortunately for me it means, not leaving comments on my own blog with women whose stories and comments I love to read--because I would have to sacrifice my personal time at home if I did. It means not answering important messages on Facebook and letting many emails go--as no one, especially me,  can keep up with thousands and thousands of messages a year  and keep a balanced life and still have a quiet time and walk daily for my health and look my children and husband in the face and listen to them and not go crazy from always being busy--I had to cut somewhere. And I rarely answer my phone, no matter who or how often,  unless it is my children or Clay.

Even in this season where no travel is possible, I find my soul desperately needing to relax and rest and just be quiet without any new adrenaline-filled ideas or people needing me.

When I can, I sleep! Sleep keeps a body from getting ill and keeps it healthy.

I must take care of myself and intentionally  step back and enjoy a few favorite things-because in giving out I become empty and so I must fill myself back up so I will have more to give--it is an endless cycle of giving--filling up--giving--filling up, that must take place for life to flourish.

We can’t travel far, but Joy and I take long walks and enjoy as much of this lovely city as we can, while we can—I especially like to look for things in blue and rose.

sweet friends who love me and care about me-

great books and stories, Victoria magazine;

salad with lots of veggies and avocado and walnuts or pecans and always onions;

chocolate--especially any chocolate with nuts; (dark chocolate salted almond) and especially Lindt--the dark one with the blue foil wrapper; if it isn't going to be with nuts.

a hot bath that covers my whole body--I love baths;

talking with Nate and Keelia to check on life in the US,

sitting around my dinner table or in the den talking and laughing every night with Clay, Joy, and Joel,

a phone call to Sarah and talking with Lily, seeing new pictures of Samuel,

reading encouraging letters or emails from friends; Calling my loved ones for long talks,  to keep up, when I have planned it;

studying the Word and being with my precious Jesus and pondering Him! Reading soul stirring books and captivating novels.

I know I need to surround myself with these things so I can be restored.

Comfort for me will be something of a rhythm. Scrambled Eggs with cheese, home made, whole grain bread, potato soup, French Food  and Mexican food and fresh food (love fruit and veggies).

Old fashioned chocolate chip cookies with pecans that Sarah makes ... (The secret to good cookies is to always whip the butter, vanilla, sugar and eggs by themselves for 5-10 minutes on high and then don't bake the cookies too long--they will cook a little more after they are out and on  a stone and they will dry out a little, and you don't want them tough!)

Of course there must be pots of strong tea. And good strong coffee. And some great English drama series or mysteries or dramas that we can be romantic or adventuresome with and enjoy the countryside and dream.

Some favorites that we have watched over the years  (we almost have them memorized!) are:

Pride and Prejudice (the new and the old 8 hour one!)

Sense and Sensibility

Persuasion

Emma

Larkrise to Candleford--so wonderful and new, but they are canceling it after its 4th season!

David Copperfield

Wives and Daughters

Victoria and Albert and Young Victoria

Mrs. Brown

Daniel Deronda

and more........

These are some books we've found which paint delightful pictures of life-giving homes ...

Brambly Hedge--delightful children's picture book series from England--more contemporary than Beatrix Potter and has the most inviting pictures of the inside of an English Home that is lived in by precious animals--lovely-- and worth buying second hand for your own library.

Pilgrim Inn--a favorite book from an old English author, Elizabeth Goudge, whose story is about the redemption of people in a home, and family after World War II-a book for adult readers or older teens. Also shows the mending of a marriage and grace that comes through acceptance. Makes the home come alive through a window into loving, giving grace, and living as a family. (All of Gouge's books, really.)

Wendall Berry books to hearken me back to ideals, community, real relationships, a technology-free life and centering on what matters.

TV series on Netflicks about history, mystery, great stories, drama, story--things that are fun for my soul.

I love Edith Schaeffer's books--The Hidden Art of Homemaking and What is a Family for instruction and stories about her own family and the life of using her home as a place of ministry and of course the story of L'Abri; a must-read for families to picture the hand of God at work in the life of people who live by faith--heart warming stories.

Also, I collect old Eloise Wilkin (an artist) books because her beautiful pictures of children in family, playing, doing chores, helping mommy and wonderful pictures of home are a great way to put pictures in your children’s minds of the importance of family and home. These are simple children’s picture books, and the first imprint I put on my children’s brains about family, home and Mommy!

Loved the melted cheese passages in Heidi, another must-read-aloud–a picture of salvation through a great story. It gives us a beautiful picture of creation. This author wrote purposefully, to give children literature to lead them to Christ. (We translated one of her stories into English for the first time in our book that we publish called The Gold Thread–the story was called The Rose Child and can be found through our website.)

Just David–also one of my favorite books in the world–such a picture of a child’s heart redeeming a whole village because of is wonderful integrity–we published this, too so you can find this through our website also!

The Little Princess–also a must read-aloud in our home–the meal she took on her porch was especially delightful!

I could go on and on about things that bring me pleasure, but these a few of my favorite things. And I will continue building into the treasure chest of these jewels so that my soul can stay healthy and strong, because a mature woman takes care of her own soul.

So I am off to rest and lie down in green pastures and let the Lord restore my soul while I give him a little practical help by pulling back and waiting till I am filled up again!

Even with Elijah, He touched him, fed him, let him sleep and then repeated it all over again.

So, use this weekend well and choose those things which will fill the drained places.

Peace, Selah

Mentoring with Love & Lifegiving Influence

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“People asked me what our secrets were for influencing our children.

This is the secret:

Loving them well, generously, all the time, in every situation.

My children are truly my best friends and now, mentors. I love spending time with them, the conversations, the shared memories of sitting on the porch after an evening walk to watch the sun go down and to settle the issues of our days.

Yet, I know that in loving them, I have to put them in God’s capable hands and send them out with a “Fly, fly, precious one. Fulfill your destiny, pursue your ideals, your story will be a great one.”

Freedom to live into the possibilities of all that they were created to do. They are not mine to hold on to—they are loaned to me, but they are now living into His purposes, His life for them, His calling. Control is not the goal, inspiration, loving foundations, truth-then setting them free to live a flourishing life with their own personality, skills and drives unique to them.

Being loved specifically and intentionally adds to our physical well- being, our spiritual equilibrium, our emotional health, but also our mental strength and health.

Probably the most important influence of my whole life in learning to interact in a healthy way with all people, including children, came from pondering Jesus and the way He embodied life-giving influence.

The attitude with which we come to our children will affect much of their response to us as teachers.

We can all see that humans are not thriving, in general. Despair, depression, loneliness, isolation, and rising suicide rates are common plights. But we must see that unless we return to a more humane and personal way of investing our lives, people will continue to grow more troubled, more impersonal, more distant.

To create a life where the hours and moments can be filled in satisfying interaction means that we must choose to fill the time our children could be engaged with machines or other entertainment with planned personal time that satisfies to the depths of their hearts, minds, and souls.

All of us need a place where our roots can grow deep and where we are a part of a like-minded community and have a safe refuge from the storms of life. Home can also give wings to dreams, nurturing possibilities of who we might become.

All homes will have a personality of their own, but part of loving well is planning the life and shaping the character that will define the unique attributes of the family who dwells there.

When a parent makes it a habit to be affectionate to a child in a way that accompanies their personality needs, there is an automatic connection. … affection is a sure sign of closeness and preference that often softens the instruction of a parent to a child.

As we evaluate how to love our children and students well, we must ask ourselves, ‘Do they believe and feel I have their best interests in mind, or do they think I have my own agenda for them?’ ‘Do they understand that even though they struggle, I am here to help them succeed?’ ‘Is their heart open to my instruction, or is there a wedge of resistance that I need to figure out and address?’”

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

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Ode to Tired Mamas

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There once was a sweet mom with children,

Who worked day and night just to serve them,

She cleaned and she cooked

and she taught and she booked,

Till she died of exhaustion and left them.

Sally Clarkson

Today, only comfort food would do. Yumm. I enjoyed every single bite. Sat on my couch, listened to music. Drank tea and then coffee and pretty much just vegged for a while. I was remembering this ode that I had written over 10 years ago—and it still applies!

Ok, ok--it's not great poetry, but I did think there should be a short dedication to all the moms who have given and given and given with nary a one to appreciate them. I got tickled the other day. I had written the blog about taking Nathan to dedicate him to the Lord after taking him out to lunch and then the little story about taking Joy out for her 13th birthday. A sweet mom who read the blog was probably sending a comment to a friend and accidentally pushed the reply button and sent her email to me which said, "She makes me tired!" (I have done this before much to my horror--meaning to send a comment to Clay and instead sending it to the person who wrote it! Grace and peace--don't worry!)

But, I do think this task of ideal mothering, wifing, friending, working is such a tiring calling and we all put ourselves under  so much pressure to be perfect when we have too many sinful children,  no support systems, no breaks, no full time maids,  and they all want  to eat and wear reasonably clean clothes every day !  And we are  responsible for their character, manners, education and spiritual  outcome, sense of well-being and happiness! A lot to ask.

In light of this, I also received another letter from a sweet mom. She asked if I ever blew it and yelled at my children! Yes, I have sinned often in the presence of my less than perfect children. I have had to accept myself as God does--it says in Psalm 103, "He is mindful that we are but dust!" Oh well, God says, Sally is just dust anyway, what can you expect from her?" As Joel my son once well said when I was in a tizzy over the messy house. "Mom, we will clean the house and it will just get messy again. But when you are sad, we feel guitly, like we have done something wrong. But when you are happy, we feel happy and like we are the greatest family in the world. So, Mom, lighten up and we will all be ok!"

We moms are giving out at a much faster rate than we are taking in and so depletion and exhaustion and consequences thereof are normal. So blowing a top once in a while is very  normal. I love the verse in Proverbs that says, "Where there are no oxen, the stalls are clean." I have at least six oxen in my stalls all the time, so my stall is always in different degrees of clean-ness!

I just want to affirm all of you who are hard on yourselves. You are making a difference in this world-your work is eternal and extremely important. Don't give up what you are doing--ever, ever, ever. But, take a break. What will it take to fill your cup emotionally? Going out with a friend to an adult lunch where no one tastes of your food? Or being by yourself alone? Or sleeping? Take time this summer to put beauty and life and joy and fun and pleasure in your life.

Another mom sent me a letter asking if my children were ever overworked in ministry or if we just had fun all the time. Probably, because my life has been so hard (children with illnesses and difficult issues; moving 17 times--6 times internationally; having little support or encouragement from family and almost never having anyone take my children as many grandparents do; and oh so many other difficulties), it is the very reason I seek to create life and beauty and fun--because I don't want to die in the process, and I don't want to live a life of constant depression and weariness, knowing it is not good for me! I want to keep going and live and keep being gracious, because life and light and beauty give strength--to me and to my children!

One summer, we had 62 nights of overnight guests. That meant weeks on end of kids giving up their beds, washing stacks and stacks of dishes, and loads of sheets and towels, babysitting other children--so that one day when one of my children looked out of the window and saw a strange car drive up, he said, "Quick, everyone hide and maybe no one will see us and want to come in!" I realized at this point, my kids needed a rest, fun, replenishing and a break from so much work.

So, knowing it is God's will for me to last, I have had to conduct my own symphony of beauty and joy, so to speak. I have had to take responsibility of planning grace, rest (I never do housework or ministry or tasks on Sunday--it is a sabbath rest for this girl!). I make my family and husband a priority above writing and ministry--which is why I am so slow at getting projects and books out.

I can think of one morning that was a perfect example of potentially getting tired over so many little things. I got up at 6 to have a quiet time and planning to go on a 30 minute walk and then write this short blog! Nate called up to me and said, "Hey, you wanta have eggs with me--then we can talk--you make them I will eat them--before he went to his landscaping job. By then, I had to awaken Joy and make her breakfast as she is helping with the 3-5 year olds at VBS. Then Joel came in and said, "I will do shopping for you if you make a list." Afterwhich as I got Joel and Joy out the door. (Joel is leaving for a summer project in 3 days and needed input on shopping.) Clay came in and said, "We really need to make a decision about some ministry stuff." Forty minutes later, he left for work, so I took a hot walk instead of a cool one because it was so late.  The moment I stepped in the door from taking the dog out, Sarah came in and said, "Can I just have a few moments of your time. It is about my future and a job that came up and what I should do." So now, it is almost 11 and my day has been taken up by everyone else, having gotten none of my own plans accomplished, but did what I am supposed to do. It as been that way since they were toddlers!

So, after years and years of 24/7, I have learned that I have to force things into my schedule that give me rest, provide a break, fill my cup. I am not talking about the cultural expectation that we deserve to have our own time--as my life has never regularly allowed this. But I am talking about being a good steward of yourself. Women must take time to read the word and pray--it is a foundation for fitting in to a schedule. I found that for my health and adrenalin, I had to build walking into my life almost everyday--Health and eating the right foods makes me last longer. It is also Biblical to have friends who can encourage us in the Lord--Lone Ranger mommies are more prone to give up, give in to depression and quit their ideals. Ecclesiastes tells us to find a companion to lift us up. As an introvert , I have to have some alone time in order to keep centered--it is why I developed the habit of getting up early to have a quiet time an to drink a cup of tea all alone. It doesn't always work, but I worked to let the kids stay up later so that they would sleep a little longer.

Remember, "A Joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." Take good medicine, and even in the midst of draining circumstances or difficult times, plan on lighting a candle in the darkness, playing music through the pain, eat avocado toast, dancing in the midst of the mess, and smiling often as it is truly good for the heart! And above all, give yourself sweet grace!

Books Referenced in this Podcast:

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

I Want to Hear His Voice, Not All the Noise!

Who are you when no one else is around? When you find yourself alone with your thoughts, dreams, fears, prayers? I have a secret place that I go to be quiet, to think, to sit until I feel peace. I think it is my bench. Hidden from the crowds. I sift through all of my thoughts and feelings and then, slowly, thoughts bubble up from my heart, from His Spirit, I believe, and I find I am freer to be at one with Him. We all need to find a place where we can center, restore, be truly ourselves—with all that is good and all that is bubbling up.

There are so many voices which rage and roar and call out for our attention. How are we to know what and who to listen to? I thought I’d share something I wrote about this topic, which is part of my book, Desperate, today, and do hope it will encourage you!

Last night, around 6, I was sitting in a chair by my window up in my second story bedroom. Our home sits up on a hill that is about 7500 feet high, and we look out over tall Colorado pines with the mountains not too far in the distance. As I sat amidst the peace of my darkening room, I looked out on the horizon and across the sky, once again, the Lord had painted the most vibrant sky--luminous, "screaming pink"--(the color of shirts my mother used to love to buy for me!)--seemed to be dancing across the sky for those who would see it! Then fading into hues of orange and finally darkness. I was reminded again how present God is in all of our moments yet wondering how many people in my little town took the time to notice Him and His art. How many times He is there to speak, to comfort, to love, but we are too busy to notice or listen.

I was pondering some of the dilemmas of modern, Christian life---way too many choices and way too many voices. Choices scream at us and block out the simplicity of Christ and His love and His voice.

We live in a time of so many voices that represent so many choices--republican, democrat, independent; theologies--charismatic, reformed, catholic, baptist, emergent church, Bible church; public, private and homeschool; whole book, curriculum, or classical; movies or tv acceptable to watch, those that violate our conscience; dating or courtship; what music is acceptable; universalism or  limited atonement; whole foods or McDonalds,  soccer or piano lessons; t.v. or no media at all; infiltrate culture or draw back and seclude, spanking or grace-based parenting; and on and on and on. And then there is the political side of things…..!!!!

The busy-ness and stress associated with getting it all right and reading all the blogs and books and reviews and making all the choices--looking for the right formula, seeking the most profound expert, frenetic that we might make the wrong choice--yet confused in the midst. There is such a pressure to be involved in all that is relevant and the pressures of our modern Christian culture cultivates insecurity and fear and isolation.

Lots of head focus, not so much heart.

So much wrangling over words and so much judgment and pride and finger pointing--what is the right way to believe? So many who are involved in these issues have a heart that desires to find what is best and to do what is right. Who is the right authority?

Such choice overload obscures the simplicity and presence of God.

Satan can use the frantic searching and frenzy to obscure what is essential--loving God and knowing Him. So many I talk to long to be close to Him, but find Him illusive. No wonder there exists so much shallowness in our culture--we are seeking so hard after the answers and to please others

and He wants us to seek Him.

Now don't get me wrong, I am orthodox in my beliefs and trust in Jesus for my salvation and am so very grateful for this. I have a strong foundation of ideals for my home and children.

But the older I get and the more countries I have seen and the more people I have worked with, the more I see that it is the heart--where love and faith and beauty and humility exist where the life of Christ flourishes.

It is in Him and His presence that I find peace that transcends "getting it all right."  I have learned that God is much bigger than I originally thought and that He understands and has compassion for many outside the comfort zone of my own ideals and beliefs and values and that I would be wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak and even slower to judge. His purposes and ways transcend time, history and cultures and I would be wise to focus on Him above all else.

I find rest when I ponder the One who took small children into His arms to bless them; who gently and lovingly washed the disciple's feet, who threw the vibrant colors into the sky for me to enjoy last night. Jesus, came in simplicity--not a man of titles or authority--but the authority that comes from within.

I ponder His messages--admonishing us to give cups of cold water; taking care of our enemies as did the good Samaritan; parenting in such a way as to have the heart of the father looking every day for his prodigal son to return; encouraging us to be like the gentle, humble Mary who chose the "good part"--to sit at his feet and rest in his love and be filled with the life of His words--not being like Martha who was "worried about so many things."

It seems His priorities were for us to be anchored in character and deeds of goodness and kindness--the simplicity of being a good neighbor, giving grace and forgiving as we have been forgiven--making bridges of peace--not walls of separation.

Often, with the media and so many "experts"--(everyone is an expert if given the opportunity to blog!),

I see people laden down with the voices that seek attention in their heads--seems that with all the conflicting messages and so much media in our face, pleasing and finding God can be complicated, confusing and overwhelming and impersonal--more about knowledge than personal in an intimate relationship.

Wouldn't Satan just love for us to be confused and insecure--since God so clearly wants us to be secure, at peace and stable in the knowledge of His love, His calling and His grace.

Jesus had great scorn and condemnation for the Pharisees who "tie up heavy loads and lay them on men's shoulders," --those who were so dedicated to defining every jot and tittle of the law. Just this morning, I was reading in Matthew 23:23 where Jesus says to them, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others. You blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel."

Then I read in John 14 and 15, some of the last chapters recorded of Jesus's personal messages to his disciples. His desire and heart to comfort and encourage his precious disciples is so evident throughout these chapters.

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled or let it be fearful."

He comes not to give as the world gives to us--but peace--restful, filling, assuring peace--that keeps us from being troubled or fearful.

The God who told us the most important commandments were to love Him and love others, is the gentle shepherd who will not judge us today if we get all the answers and choices right, but if we abide in Him, love Him, rest in Him and walk in the abundance and security of His love for us and His redeeming love for those needy in our lives who need not just answers and words, but love, forgiveness, healing and peace.

Lord, let me today and every day, abide in you, see you, listen to your voice, follow your wisdom,  rest against you--"not being concerned with things too difficult for me, but composed, like a weaned child rests against his mother, so will my soul be within me." (Psalm 131)

Wishing you to find Him, the source of peace, truth, love, wisdom and a heart that longs to whisper His reality into the quiet of our thoughts and emotions. May you find HIs peace today.

Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

By Mae, Sarah, Clarkson, Sally

A Wonder-filled Mentor: Casting a Vision in Your Child's Heart

Click here to listen to today’s new podcast episode.

There comes a time when our children will walk out the door into the wide world to try out their own spiritual, emotional, and moral muscle. What they live out will not come from a textbook of facts or rules memorized but from the inspiration and vision that comes from their hearts and souls. The seeds we plant, water and nurture will grow over years and flourish through a vibrant life if we have taken care and intentionality with our planting.

A drive for purpose and a desire to impact others for the kingdom of God does not come out of a vacuum. First, a vision must be in your heart, growing, deepening. As you grow in your understanding of the potential God placed within each child for living purposefully, intentionally, and with a vibrant story to live out. It comes from seeing deep inside of your children's hearts and drawing out the greatness that God has built there and giving them a dream for how God will use them in the world. Children, in spite of their bundle of immaturity, strengths, weaknesses, and varying personalities are exactly what God crafted them to be to fulfill their purpose in His world.

From the time our children were wee ones, we gave each of them time to speak as a part at our conferences. We said, "God has made all of us stewards of His messages of love, redemption, and His hope and life because He has entrusted us with this light that the dark world needs. What would you like to share with all the moms to encourage them this year?"

Our two introverted children had to share just as our two extroverted ones would. Because we believe all of us are to be stewards of the gospel, we raised them to be comfortable with knowing they had a message that would turn the world upside down, too! We started with sharing our ideas and encouragement right in our living room with ten people in attendance. By faith, we kept writing and speaking and our children grew with ministry as we did. Their self-image was, "I have something to give. My personality is a gift from God to use for His glory. I have an arena in which to bring His light that no one else on earth will ever have."

Serving meals, visiting the sick, giving money to those in need, exercising hospitality, and making thousands of meals for people in our home, praying, hosting Bible studies over and over and over again for many years was the oxygen of the life my children breathed. Their dreams flowed out of being part of the life of giving and obedience that God had called Clay and me to follow.

We need to understand that vision of the heart is what empowers all of us, as God's children, to follow Him in faith and purpose in becoming fishermen in the world. It flows from inspiration, not from moralistic rules or laws to be kept. It comes from within the heart and soul of the mentor who passes on the life within her. In what ways would you like to grow personally so that you may pass on the life you have intentionally cultivated?

FOR MORE

• Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

• Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

• Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

• Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

• Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

A mentor’s vision is key to awaking wonder! Read more in my new book, available here!

Awaking Wonder: Opening Your Child's Heart to the Beauty of Learning

By Clarkson, Sally

The Awaking Wonder Experience: A Guided Companion

By Clarkson, Sally, Clarkson, Clay