Creating Spaces of Meaning & Beauty

In times of exhaustion, grief, or trial, holding onto a sense of order and loveliness is essential. Though many trials of life cannot be easily fixed with a pat answer, the difficulty of walking through them is often eased if it can be experienced in a lovely environment.

Beauty has anchored my own soul so many times through so many years. If I had spent my life waiting for the "right moment" to be idealistic, I would never have enjoyed the delight of idealistic seeds sown during trials.

In fact, I developed most of my ideals in faith — creating beauty when I didn't know if it would make a difference, lighting one more candle in hope of a more hopeful day, cooking one more meal in anticipation of God's provision. These offerings are intentional acts of faith. And most often it is in those moments of weariness that I'm most likely to see God's gentle hand at work.

Lighting a candle or assembling a vase of fragrant flowers will do it. Creating a little vignette on a corner table — a framed photo, a carefully arranged stack of books, a bird figurine — will help. Setting a place at the table with beautiful dishes or an interesting centerpiece will do it. Any of these small acts — or hundreds more — can soothe a soul overwhelmed with life.

It is not about perfection; it is about creating a vestige of peace when our lives are fraught. Beauty reminds me that there is a pattern and shape to events of my life. So when life is too much for you, light a candle, put on music, pour yourself a cup of tea, and take a deep breath.

Read more about this in The Lifegiving Table.

My Happy Place

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Tea Time Tuesday: Here I am back in my beloved Oxford. Cobblestones, cafes, flat whites, almond croissants, walking in the sudden rain that erupts without warning, life with scarfs, boots and ready for an adventure. Beautiful old cottages, fields of daffodils, walks in the parks. Hours of chatting and telling deep feelings about life with my lovelies about everything. A happy place for me.

It has been quite a while since I have just vacationed — gone someplace just for fun, leaving work behind, enjoying people, places, life. I am doing that this next couple of weeks and it is glorious. So needed.

And the best thing is being with people who I belong to.

Where are your happy places? What gives you rest? restoration? And where is your place?

Today's Tea Time Tuesday podcast has books, a fantastic easy salad dressing, music, and lots of heart felt thoughts.

Giving your words as gifts to those around you has been my ponder. A smattering of thoughts today. I have had lots of sweet words given to me this week and it is like sunshine filling back up my heart. Have you been given enought words of late?

“Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in the right circumstances.” -Proverbs 25:11

I've been pondering why intentional words are so important and give so much life to people. Many I know are a bit empty, weary — but words of life have worked magic in them.

Several friends have commented, "I just long for a good word. Someone who sees me, likes me," was the heartfelt longing for my friend's heart. Don't we all need a good word, often? Today's way speaks of speaking intentionally, hopefully, lovingly to give grace to our hearers. We all need this life-giving grace.

And understanding more and more, when our beloveds are down or discouraged, they do not usually need our advise, or correction, but most often our compassionate words, words of comfort, words of grace.

Friends,I believe in the person you are becoming. I know God has you in the palm of His hands and cares deeply for you.

Faith By Feasting Through all the Seasons

Last night was an evening that is reminiscent of Clarkson life for decades.

Adult children gathered, grands all around, running, playing. Everyone came to the table with different needs, a variety of weariness from jobs, children, life! All came ready to feast, fill their bodies with deliciousness, to soothe their souls with love, friendship, belonging. Even in Oxford, we gather in a cloud of memories, sweet familiar fellowship.. Immediately we all feel happy, at ease.

“I am so hungry. Please can we eat soon.” They each snuck spoonfuls of my French casserole. Herbed brown rice seasoned with my secrets, slowly baked chicken breast awash with olive oil, wine, herbs d’province, extra thyme, a dollop of sour cream. This was nested between green beans & sea-salt, oil with avocados. Candlelight & music set the stage for a theological conversation that brought deep joy to my mama heart.

We have been meeting this way for thousands of meals, delighting in one another. We gather in the reality of Christ’s unconditional love shared together. We belong to one another, warts and all. We listen to conversations. Hearing the love of Christ defended this evening between each bite, talking of God’s manifest love in the midst of a dark world, peaking into souls of each one as they shared their heartfelt convictions made a very tiring, exhausting day worthwhile.

Now we can say, “They were listening. It mattered. They were transformed by the life-giving messages they heard repeated that they now own.”

Clay and I have often said that we think our children’s faith was cultivated more through meals shared, over conversations, stories related at table than any other factor. Our Lifegiving Table was a sacred place. Who doesn’t want something delicious, rich to fill their tummies, to give dimension to friendship, fellowship?

Such a work of life takes a long time, lots of love, patience. Seeing the Holy Spirit light a fire in each one is worth the work, time, planing, cooking, even cleaning dishes it has cost us.

My heart was warmed, my emotions kindled. These are my beloved people, we belong together no matter where we live and work in this wide world.

The Lifegiving Table book.

Called To Be A Homemaker

I see motherhood as akin to being a home decorator. My job in my family involved setting the tone: celebrating by bringing color, music, and beauty into every aspect of our home; gathering great, hopeful stories through books; cultivating wonderful memories with friends through parties and bible studies, meals, and traditions; lighting candles in the darkness and playing music to lift our souls.

The task of building our homes into places of beauty and life that will feed the hearts, souls, and minds of our children is the most comprehensive task to which God has called us as mothers. We are called quite literally to be "home makers" — to plan and shape a home environment that provides our families with both a safe resting place and a launching pad for everything they do in the world.

The ultimate key to providing a nurturing environment in the home is you, mamas. The physical surroundings can make a big difference. In the end, though, what our children and husband need most is not a perfect home or perfect training or a perfectly spiritual role model or a wife without faults — but a mother and wife who is committed to doing whatever it takes to love them and make a home for them.

Read more about this in Mom Heart Moments.

It's The Small Things

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“but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant,”

Thirteen hours of travel, dragging a suitcase, wearing a back pack, standing in line, wiggling uncomfortably in my seat, walking through customs, found me weary to the bone from my travel from my home to Sarah’s home.

A bright welcome sign taped to the front door from my 5 year old grandchild. She had painstakingly drawn balloons, hearts, an image of me and of her. Because she told me, “I love you especial, Queenie,” I knew indeed I was welcomed with the most generous love and care. A bundle of daffodils for my room, a tray from “mama” Sarah with chocolates, my favorite chips, cards from all grandchildren, fresh chocolate chip cookies and tea!

These heartfelt offerings brough tears to my eyes. I was wanted, invited in with love.

This is why I travel the hours, spend the energy — to be loved by those who really personally care for me. The thoughtfulness and gracious love given from my precious ones means the world to me.

The world seems so caught up in the impressive — who has the most numbers, who is the smartest, the most beautiful, the most successful, the one who is organized and has it together?

But when I look to God’s ways, I observe what He has made, listen to the voice of creation, He has made even the insignificant, a small child, a thing of glory, beauty to behold, heavenly art in which my heart is amazed. In His hands, the small becomes significant. So I take hope.

It is the humble He pays attention to. The little boy with only 5 fish and loaves fed 5,000. The idealistic youth defeated the giant. The poor widow with meager drops of oil, fed the famous prophet Elijah. The prostitute who washed His feet with her tears.

And so, my comfort is not in the big, but in the small personal acts of love given. It is small acts accomplished with a big heart that pleases Him.

A Mother After God's Design

Our children are eternal human beings whose lives and souls will last throughout all of eternity. God has given them into our hands to protect and lead and shepherd them through this life on earth.

Our children will become treasures in heaven if they indeed learn to love God and serve him with their whole hearts. This is eternal work — to train the hearts, minds, and consciences in righteousness. This is the vital work of building a morally, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually strong generation of children who will be prepared to function responsibly for the rest of their lives.

But before we can do this work effectively, we have to come to a point of yielding our hearts to God's will. We have to surrender our old expectations of who we thought we were to the calling of the Lord on our lives. And if we have been blessed with children, we have to surrender ourselves wholeheartedly to our role of being mothers after God's design.

When we choose to sacrifice our own goals and desires to serve our children, we are furthering His eternal work. We know that, through our labor and love, over time he will faithfully build our children into a righteous heritage.

Read more about this in The Mission of Motherhood.

Becoming A Teatime Discipler

As a woman, perhaps as a friend or mom, you have a unique capacity to pass on words of faith, to help spiritually form another person, to provide an example that another will carry into their lives wherever they go. It will become their own as they partner with God for next steps, a vision and hope for their futures, and a sense of their part in God’s story.

Teatime discipleship is a legacy I have left in the hearts, minds, and souls of my own daughters and sons, celebrating life together hundreds of times in this way. When asked why all four of my children believe deeply in God, all of them almost always say, “It was the great food, the feasting together through life, the encouragement given, the emphasis on beauty and conversation, the faith that was passed on through so many intentional times together.”

Companionship of soul and mind requires planning, purpose, and choice. Those treasured shared spaces in so many of our homes and shared moments and the community of family and friends that grew from them didn’t happen on their own. They were crafted, sought, chosen, and claimed times, times when we said no to other commitments or work.

In a world where so many feel alone, isolated, and misunderstood, we can come along beside our beloved ones and be a source of life, faith, and love to them. You, too, can become an artist of beauty through your own life as a teatime discipler.

Read more about this in Teatime Discipleship for Mothers and Daughters.

Love One Another: Kindness Gentleness & Respect

What could be better than the pairing of tea in beautiful Polish tea cups, being surrounded by great books? a happy hour to fill my mind with great stories. I wish you could join me. Oh how I have longed for long conversations, friends during my cold winter days. Join me, won’t you?


Two of my children from a very young ages had their own means of snuggling as close to me as they possibly could. Just to be near me was a reward & total happiness.. One would bound down the stairs and come with blanket in hand, “Mama, can I squish next to you. It makes me feel so good to be close to you” The other was a bed snuggler with similar words.

Because they were my beloved children, they did not have to confess their sins before I would take them in. They might have made messes the day before or fussed. But because they were mine, I welcomed them into this space, cherished the memories & moments. I plastered them with my kisses.

***

God sees us as toddlers, so to speak. Understanding our fragility, our humanness, He responds to us as I responded to my beloveds. He is mature even when we are not. He is constant in His love toward us, His commitment, His care for our needs, and His compassion for our heart’s cry. As our heavenly Father, no matter what we do or how we fail Him, He is the constant one, the responsible one. He knows our frame—that we are weak, immature, imperfect, but He doesn’t require us to perform before we come close. He just wants our heart to trust Him. He wants us to depend on Him as our loving Father.

When we come to Him as a child—innocent, dependent, trusting, and humble—He welcomes us into the place right next to His heart.

The more we believe in His love, the more we live in the peaceful, generous acceptance we have from Him, the more we will exhibit this to others. Our actions display our heart.

In Tea Time Tuesday, we explore ways to show one another “Kindness, gentleness, & respect,” as an expression of what God is like. books, food, more!

In Tea Time Tuesday, we explore ways to show one another “Kindness, gentleness, & respect,” as an expression of what God is like. books, favorite food, & more!

Brew a cuppa and enjoy!

Home Is The Best Place To Be

Often in this age of social media and comparison, we can foster without knowing it a negative view of home. We imagine that it's out there in the "real" world, on amazing trips or at work, that the important things happen — and that home is just the place we stop to rest in between.

But we will spend most of our lives in our homes. This is not a bad thing, but to the contrary, the way it should be. Home is a place that is not just meant to hold, protect, and house us. It is also a place that was designed to bring life, to foster wonderful memories, to teach minds, to create traditions.

As you spend your days inside your home, don't count the minutes until the next time you leave. Rather, make your home a place worthy of spending the many seconds, hours, and days that you and your loved ones live out.

Read more about this in The Lifegiving Home.

Motherhood Is A Divine Calling

On a family vacation many years ago, I reflected on my years of performing the endless mundane tasks of motherhood — picking up mountains of socks, supervising numberless naps, and cooking thousands of meals, of which only a portion were appreciated.

There had been hours of constantly settling fusses over petty issues, continually straightening our home, only to have it messy within a short time. There had been myriad books read, lessons supervised and still feeling inadequate to do it all.

I had so many moments when I doubted that anything was being built into the hearts of my children, when my belief that all of this mattered for eternity was all that kept me going, one step at a time. Now, I can see clearly just how worthwhile the journey has been.

The reward of a shared sense of humor and the pure enjoyment and love of being with my children shows me how glad I am that I held tight to my vision. These children, now towering over me in their grown-up bodies, are just the kind of people I want for friends. Indeed, I consider my family to be my very best friends.

How thankful I am that God, his Word, and his Spirit kept me pressing faithfully onward. But, as I look around me, I see so many other precious moms floundering and tempted to give up their ideals.

I see moms who struggle, as I struggled, with a sense of inadequacy and failure. Many who are lonely, feeling unsupported, questioning the choices they made, and worrying about the factors in life they can't control. And many moms who are simply tired, running low on the energy they need to be the mothers they truly want to be.

For all these mothers and for those who have yet to encounter moments of discouragement, I want to share a little of what — besides the grace of God — has helped me to continue on this worthwhile journey during this week’s #MissionOfMotherhood book club.

This week, you and I will talk about what it means to be a ministering mother, as well as how to guard our vision of motherhood, and our hearts, for the long journey ahead. I so hope you'll join me on Life With Sally!