Take Courage, Tired Mama

As I look around me I see so many other precious moms tempted to give up. I see moms who struggle, as I struggled, with a sense of inadequacy. Many are lonely, feeling unsupported as they work to give their children what they need. Many are confused, questioning the choices they have made and worrying about things they can't control. And many are simply tired, running low on the energy they need to be the mothers they truly want to be.

As I reflect on my days of younger motherhood, there were countless days of performing the endless mundane tasks — picking up mountains of socks, supervising numberless naps, and cooking thousands of meals of which only a portion were appreciated.

Hours of constantly settling fusses over petty issues, continually straightening our home, only to have it messy within a short time. There have been myriad books read, lessons supervised — and still feeling inadequate to do it all.

Inadequacy, in fact, had been my familiar and constant companion, overcome only by "His strength is perfected in my weakness" choices of faith. I had had so many moments when I doubted that anything was being built into the hearts of my children, when my belief that all of this mattered for eternity was all that kept me going, one step at a time.

Now I see that every ordinary act of faithfulness really mattered greatly and shaped our children into wholesome, interesting, thinking people. Now I can see clearly just how worthwhile the journey has been.

The reward of a shared sense of humor and the pure enjoyment and love of being together shows me how glad I am that I held tight to my vision. These children, now towering over me in their grown-up bodies, are just the kind of people I want for friends. Indeed, I consider my family to be my very best friends.

How thankful I am that God, his Word, and his Spirit kept me pressing faithfully onward. Take courage today, tired mama. Your labor is not in vain, but it is the very heart of your best work for all eternity.

Read more about this in The Mission of Motherhood.

Tea Time Tuesday: The Gift of a Grateful Heart

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Tea Time Tuesday

A grateful heart sees the fingerprints of God in normal every day circumstances, be they great or challenging.

Many years ago, as a young, idealistic mama, I wanted to provide my children with the best experiences, opportunities, books, toys, bikes, lessons — the things we all feel pressured to provide for our children. When we started Whole Heart Ministries, though, we moved to a tiny country town, where we lived with my mother-in-law and got by on a very negligible salary for several years.

Shopping at Goodwill was the way to go, as we could not afford department stores. Spending at the grocery store sometimes made me feel guilty, because we just didn't have much money. Our budget didn't allow for the things I thought my children needed.

Yet looking back, I can see that living in the country with lots of space to roam, only a few friends, lots and lots of time together as a family is probably the best thing that could have happened to my children. Because we did not have lots of toys, our children learned to pretend, create their own stories, draw and study nature, make up games, read lots of books, and spend lots of time outdoors with animals.

Because there was not even an option to have lots of "things," they became thankful for what they had. I was the only one who had any idea that they might be missing out, because I was listening to the voices of my peers. They were blissfully unaware. Life to them was a joyful adventure where we had a little community called “Clarkson.” There was no need to be constantly entertained, because we did not have lots of media, gadgets, and toys, so they had not learned to expect them, and there were few neighbors nearby to tempt them with toys they did not have.

Working, sharing, patiently waiting their turn were some of the ways God built thankfulness into my children's hearts.

We learned through this season to be thankful for sunrises, sunsets, for long wanders in grassy fields near our home. I was not smart enough to choose this for my family, but God in His wisdom knew just what my children needed to build character, to teach them to be grateful for a simple life. He used our circumstances to train them!

To Build A Godly Legacy Takes Time

To build a godly legacy with children takes a lifetime of sacrifice. To establish a strong marriage requires years of growing more selfless, giving deeply of love, compassion, forgiveness, and growing in maturity.

I truly believe that God will cause all things to work together for good for those—especially mothers—who are called according to his purpose. Through the eventual faithfulness of his disciples, who also had once betrayed him, Jesus was able to reach the whole world.

As we wait patiently for the fruit of our faith and service in the lives of our family to be revealed, we will see God's faithfulness. In the meantime, we can know that our choice to love and serve them with a whole heart is the right one.

Read more about this in The Mission of Motherhood.

Learning To Celebrate The Glory Of God

How often do we forget the exuberant nature of God? Why do we walk around with dour faces at church as though our displeasure will somehow please God more than being His hopeful, cheerful, grateful children?

And let's not delude ourselves: This grim attitude will teach our children to regard faith with a resigned endurance instead of a delighted enthusiasm. When we model to our children that pleasure, delight, laughter, and food are not God's afterthoughts, but His generous gifts to us all, we do them a great favor.

The psalmist said it so beautifully: "Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!" (Psalm 34:8). This command is not only metaphorical. I believe that God intended us to experience the full range of beauty in the world as a testament to His generous live for us. To neglect delight, feasting, and celebration is to neglect worshiping God the way He intended us to.

Once, when asked why she was still a Christian, my daughter Sarah said, "Because of pecan French toast with butter and syrup. People chuckled, but I think she was sincere. In the midst of a difficult life and an unstable world, we consistently celebrated God's goodness, kindness, and generosity. And that helped make our lives worth living.

The Gospels are focused toward a good ending — a home to belong in. In celebration we declare that God is not done with us yet. Ultimately, evil does not have the final word. We celebrate in thanksgiving for what God has done, and we celebrate in expectation of His final victory.

And so, it is good to have French toast on Sundays.

Read more about this in The Lifegiving Table.

Tea Time Tuesday: Celebrate Yourself Today and Have Fun

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“Ideals and the desire for beauty are simply the echoes of God's design in our hearts. He was the one who designed the world to be a masterpiece of wonder and life. The yearning for peace, health, and comfort is natural to our souls and comes from the depths of our hearts where we can still feel and imagine what God created life to be before the fall.” (from The Mom Walk)

We each have an inner longing for delight, recreation, joy, love, romance. We were made for it—just watch an innocent child playing, loving, honestly delighting in the wonders of life.

This time of year, spring fever hits. This is a time to have one woman retreat, to plan delight for yourself, to bring joy and beauty just for a bit to bring new life into your soul.

Join me today as I mention small delights I personally enjoy (flowers, crab, poached eggs and avocado for one) and so much more on the At Home With Sally podcast.

Bright lipstick, dangly earrings, dancing around my living room to great music, eating a piece of salted caramel chocolate are a few of the ways I talk about little joys today. What are some of your little joys? I would love to know.

Find freedom in the study on why forgiveness is so freeing and important to your soul’s health.

We will be starting a 4 week book study on Teatime Discipleship, videos, a personal retreat guide for you to find some fresh air for your weary heart this time of year on Life with Sally.

Most of all, may you live in grace and peace today, find beauty, love, romance and have some time to celebrate you.

Living Well in the Meantime

Most of life is lived in the waiting, in the meantime. For 43 years, Clay and I have held fast to marriage. We lived through mundane rhythms of life day and night, through all the phases of childhood where relationships were forged, where the Clarkson story took root, where ministry was birthed. In the meantime, between big life events, is where the treasures were found.

We all wait to see what is ahead. Will it be calm? Will it be violent? I have waited to fall in love, waited to get married, waited to get pregnant, waited to get pregnant again. Waited for 19 houses to sell when moving, waited to find another suitable place. Waited for children to be out of diapers, to learn to read, to grow up!

On and on it goes. Clay has waited through all of these seasons by my side. What does life hold? What is going to happen?

Most of life is in the “in between.” And yet, what we do in the meantime is what really defines the story of our lives. As Clay and I waited together when our hopes for our ministry were only ideas we talked about together, we worked hard to start a ministry without a paycheck for 5 years. Our first conference had only 11 people.

We talked late at night about if we would ever write books — we have now written 38. We lived through illnesses, moves, car wrecks, loneliness and rejection, out of the box children, asthmatics, family trauma, church drama.

These places are where our character was made, our story grew with integrity. Each season of learning to be faithful in hard times, of pushing through to see if God would answer prayer, learning to forgive when we didn’t feel like it, loving a child who was acting in an unlovable way.

What you choose to believe and cherish, practice and submit to, work at and believe in, happens when no one else is looking. These are the glorious days your children will remember — the joy of the meantime, the moments cherished, the memories made at bedtime, table time, birthdays, times of illness, holidays.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring. What will you do in the meantime? How will you pass the days/years meaningfully while you are waiting? In the meantime, celebrate life.

We Are Investing In Eternity

Children who have such a "shepherd" in their homes to oversee, provide for, direct, and protect the life of the home will benefit profoundly. By embracing our call to home-making, we are ensuring that these life centers are thriving and well.

The strong and secure future we help to build for our children is laid by the hundreds of small deeds we do every day as we serve faithfully in our homes. Yet the great value of our service will be felt for generations to come and throughout eternity.

Tea Time Tuesday: Delighting in an Oxford Spring & Celebrating Monumental Events with Sarah

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Tea Time Tuesday

Sarah and her precious little Elanor. (What does Elanor have to do with Lord of the Rings? Listen to today’s podcast!) Isn’t baby Elanor beautiful? And so is her mama, inside and out.

As my podcast releases today, I will most probably be flying over the Atlantic Ocean toward my home in Colorado. I have had such a magnificent 5 weeks in Oxford with great meals, sweet fellowship, magnificently beautiful walks, and precious time with my precious grands.

Today, I ended my time in Oxford with my wonderful daughter, Sarah, chatting about life, a momentous birthday and values and relationships we cherish. I hope you enjoy today’s podcast and our fun time together.

Praying for you all, my friends, and hoping you know God’s generous love and companionship with you. We shall have a meeting of our membership friends in California at Wild + Free. Also, some fun plans for members in the Colorado Area. Stay tuned. Ihope some of you can join me at the Writer’s conference at Glen Eyrie.

Finally, so excited to be one of the speakers The Wellness Collective Event in the fall. Lots of great speaking events and fun plans for Life with Sally members.

Hope to meet many of you at these events!

The Unity of the Family Table

Children come to believe more easily in the constant strong and present commitment of God in every circumstance, no matter what, when they have a family who is there for them, parents they can come to with any trial or trouble on their heart.

The unity of the family table, the commitment to change plans in order to celebrate special days with one another, the decision to speak blessing — all these create a rhythm in which our children get a sense of God's commitment to them because they have tasted of our own active, constant, committed love in our home and at our table.

Read more about this in The Lifegiving Table.

A Joyous Easter To You

So if I, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.

John 13: 14

I love remembering the last supper, Jesus is my ponder for how to live my life. He made food, feeding crowds, washing feet, lifting prostitutes off the dusty ground, holding squirmy babies close, giving His life, as a servant king. I realized His life was my example of how to serve my children, friends, neighbors.

Servant leadership starts with a choice to serve Christ by giving my time & energy to my children, husband, friends, neighbors, not when I feel like it but when they need me. I sacrifice my own needs, desires for the purpose of giving them what they need. I model for them the depths of Christ's love.

Choosing servanthood means sitting quietly on a child's bed, listening to sorrows & loneliness, encouraging with gentleness of spirit, administering love— when I would rather have time to myself. It means being exhausted from caring for three children under six, yet still getting up at midnight to soothe pain of an ear infection, without complaining about how tired I am. It means planning an outing—a picnic lunch, a drive to the mountains, a favorite audio book when we moved to a new area and my children felt friendless, even though I had a million other things to do or would just love time by myself. I became the friend my children couldn't find in others. I gave my time freely. It means taking time listening to a friend pour out her heart, taking flowers, writing a note.

Choosing to be a servant leader means willingly giving up myself, my expectations, my time to others, & the task of mothering, It means that, by faith, I have already made a decision to make myself available in the routine tasks, myriad interruptions of daily life and needs of others because I believe it is God's will for me to serve Him this way as he served when He lived on earth.. Making this choice ahead of time means I will expect problems & needs to arise, and be ready to deal with them in peace instead of impatience, resentment. I give up expectations.

Ministry to others rarely happens at convenient times, but it changes lives forever.

A joyous Easter to you, friends.