Each Child Is A One-Of-A-Kind Design

We are all complex people, each with areas of strength and areas in which we are fragile or broken. In a fallen world, imperfections will attend our days until we move into eternity. And we must learn to make allowances for those broken areas while holding ourselves and others accountable for doing the best we can with what we have—and realizing that none of our flaws and broken places can change our inherent value as persons.

I had to learn that God never intended me to judge my children’s value by how well they fit the assembly line of cultural expectations or my own dreams of what I thought motherhood should be like.

Each of them was an individual, one-of-a-kind design. Each had a special purpose in the world. And each had a special set of gifts and challenges that affected the way they operated in the world. 

Read more about this in Different.

Generously Speaking Words of Life

Listen to today’s new podcast episode here: https://traffic.libsyn.com/sallyclarkson/My_Song_3.mp3

“Sweet boy, I love your heart. I love your passion for life. I love your inquisitive mind. The fact that you ask questions so much means you have an active mind. I think you will become a Daniel in your generation, giving a picture of faith to many who do not know how to believe. And I am soooo very glad God gave you to me."

My son had been cuddling up to me, wearily leaning under my shoulder with big, sad eyes, as he spoke of getting reprimanded for talking too much in a class, again! So often, his bubbling up got him into trouble. But slowly over years, God had given me a view of his heart, beyond his behavior. I knew that deep inside, there was a desire to know answers, to live well, to be a hero--a superman in his lifetime. But God gave him a mama to draw out the hero that was inside, in spite of the little boy that could not control his tongue or his overactive body.

Encouraging and affirming words—words of life, as I like to call them—have the power to give hope, to strengthen others to keep growing in righteousness. And if I, a grown woman, need them to keep me going through hard times, my children need them even more. Positive words act as water and sunshine to our souls to help them grow strong. Yet I have found that very few people really take the time to say those words that all of us, and especially our children, long to hear.

"I love and appreciate you!" "Your friendship means a lot to me!" "I believe in you and in what God is doing in your life!" "You are special to the Lord and to me, and I am praying for you."

Thinking good thoughts about someone doesn't really bless that person. We have to take the initiative actually to say the words—in person, through a card or e-mail, or even through a phone call.

As I look to the life of Jesus, I see that he constantly blessed people with his words. He often spoke encouragement and affirmation directly to those around him or affirmed them before others.

To the woman who had been hemorrhaging for twelve years, he said, "Daughter, take courage; your faith has made you well" (Matthew 9:22). Even as his touch healed her body, his encouraging words must have healed her heart.

As Mary of Bethany sat at Jesus' feet, he spoke words to her sister that were obviously intended for her ears as well: "Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her" (Luke10:42).  How good those words of support must have felt after she had just been scolded for her poor manners and faulty hospitality.

Jesus greeted Nathanael, whom he would call to be his follower, with strong words of praise: "Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom is no deceit!" (John 1:47, NKJV).

And at least twice in the Gospels, we see Jesus pronouncing his favor and appreciation to women who anointed him. The first was a woman who was known to be a "sinner" (Luke 7:37-48). Jesus commended her in front of a Pharisee, which must have felt like affirmation indeed. The second time (which is mentioned twice, in Matthew 26:6-13 and Mark 14:9), Jesus commended the woman by promising her deed would be remembered "wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world" (Matthew 26:13). Imagine how she must have felt when he said that! Jesus truly had a spirit of appreciation, affirmation, and encouragement.

Jesus was especially careful to uplift and motivate his disciples with his words. From the beginning he spoke of their potential and their future, saying he would make them "fishers of men," that they would do great wonders, that he loved them just as the Father loved them. And he spoke individual words of blessing they never forgot:

"Blessed are you, Simon Barjona," he said to Peter, "because flesh and blood did not reveal this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build My church; and the gates of Hades will not overpower it" (Matthew 16:17-18).

Now, imagine how special you would feel if Jesus himself affirmed that your insights were revealed to you by God. And then to have him call you a "rock" and say he would build his church on the solid foundation of your life—what confidence those words would inspire. What an anchor of hope it would provide in times of doubt to remember that Jesus had said such things about you. To have the Son of God choose you to lead his church would indeed be a solid foundation from which to minister. Such words would carry you through many a time of doubt.

Even on the last night before his crucifixion, Jesus built up his disciples with words of love, encouragement, and hope. All through that Upper Room Discourse, he poured out words of love, strength, and comfort that would carry them through the painful days to come and through their lives of service to him.

Words matter! They have the power mysteriously to enter our hearts and minds and lift us beyond the present moment into the presence of God himself. How important it is, then, that we mothers, shepherds of our children's lives and hearts, choose our words to them carefully. We must deliberately aim our words at their hearts in such a way as to give our children hope, faith, strength, and also to point them toward the redeeming love of Christ. We can become the affirming voice of God to our children, just as we become a picture of his redeeming reality in their everyday lives. In this way we extend the gift of grace.

The Key To Providing A Nurturing Environment Is You

They need to know that they are cherished by someone who is a champion for their cause, a cheerleader for their lives—someone they can always count on in the light and dark times of life.

Accepting the responsibility of being the overseer of our domain with all of the heart and energy and faith we can muster is what nurtures our family best and provides our children with the sense of security and stability they need.

We can only accomplish this by leaning on the Lord. It is your relationship with him that ultimately will provide a nurturing environment for the people you love.

Read more about this in The Mission Of Motherhood.

God Was Doing Far More Than I Even Asked Him

So many times, feelings of fear or desperation or despair blew over my heart and soul. Too many children, too many bills, difficult relationships, an insurmountable workload, unanswered questions, and unanswered prayer often felt like too much for me to bear.

I would feel as though my “labor was in vain,” or that God had forgotten me. Are you like me, sometimes doubting God’s care for you when things go wrong or life proves difficult? It helps to remind myself of ways He has met my needs in the past.

In spite of my feelings, I would timidly offer Him my love gift: “I believe You, even though I can’t see You right now. I want to thank You that darkness is not dark to You, but You are with me, working on these problems, loving me, and taking care of my worries, even though I can’t imagine how. I love You, God. I have faith in Your faithfulness.”

We're The Worst

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.​

I've had so much fun over the past few weeks with Nathan and his wife Keelia as they have been back home for Christmas and New Years.

We've spent time driving, singing, eating, and of course, talking. And one of the things that sparked some of the deepest and most probing discussions was Nathan's new book, I'm The Worst, which comes out today.

In his book and in the conversation we had on today's new podcast, Nathan explores the necessity of acknowledging and paying attention to our brokenness, as it is the conduit to freedom and redemption, not a hindrance.

So many of us spend our days running away from having to face our darker parts, instead pointing our fingers at others and implementing a myriad of methods so we don't have to acknowledge our fears, fractures, and failures. Because deep down, we worry that if we did, we would be overcome with shame, discover we are unlovable, and be disqualified from telling a beautiful story — each of which are things intrinsically wired into the human heart to desire.

This is a deeply important message for any believer. That includes us as mothers, who so often feel the pressure to appear perfect while fearing our imperfections right beneath the surface.

But as Nathan and I talk about, bringing them before God doesn't bring judgement or condemnation, but rather mercy, and an opportunity to experience true and lasting love from Him.

I so hope you will enjoy the conversation we shared and make sure to get a copy of Nathan's book, I'm The Worst: How Freedom Is Found In Admitting Our Faults, out today wherever books are sold.

Have You Ever Been Loved Too Much?

I have never been loved too much. Have you?

We all long for companionship, friendship, community. Someone to help us, to pay attention to our feelings, dreams, needs. But that comes from taking time to invest in relationships.

Asking someone to meet for coffee, staying up late with a teen who is anxious about life, holding a baby and rocking him until he finally falls securely asleep in strong arms, taking time for a cool drink and snacks with your husband so he can unload the stress and pressure he feels in his job.

Making love a priority means giving up some of yourself to receive love back. It’s what we all need. Every year, as I put up my Christmas decorations into lidded boxes marked "Christmas,” I pull out the plastic lidded boxes called "Valentine's Day," and put hearts out everywhere — on all the tables, in the bathroom, as books on the hearth, on my brass fireplace covering, on top of my china hutch, and in the basket with magazines in the bathroom.

Love is such a central theme in our Christian life, that it deserves to be celebrated for 6 weeks.

One of the things I have practiced in the past is to review one love verse a day in February — to remind us all just how foundational love is to marriage, ministry, family, friends, healing, giving, serving. These habits practiced for many years become a highway in our hearts, reminding us to always practice love.

As I taught my family these important verses, it was actually me who became the definition for what unconditional love is really like. It is as I see my children through the grid of wanting to show them just how generous God's love is, that I behave in a way that helps them believe the words of scripture about His love.

Every Encounter In Your Home Shapes The Heart

Creating a beautiful home is not a shallow distraction, nor is it just a surface-level preoccupation. Rather it is an imperative for fostering an environment for rich souls and deep minds to grow in.

Investing time and effort into cultivating a warm, inviting home is a service of worship to God as we craft a place of beauty and comfort for all who enter our sanctuary of His very presence.

Read more about this in The Lifegiving Home.

Righteousness Is Learned Where No One Can See

My most important ministry would unfold one obedient moment after another as I learned to love and understand and serve those who were closest to me. One of my family members would push my buttons. And I would have to overcome my feelings and practice giving patient answers, to give up my rights one more time.

But learning to create this kind of atmosphere took me years to grow into, seasons to practice. People do not have needs at convenient times, but at the most inopportune moments. So I had to stretch muscles of patience, endurance, sympathy, and compassion day after day to make our home a source of comfort and encouragement to my family, our depressed friends, and myself as well.

Read more about this in Different.

Tea Time Tuesday: Harvesting Godly Character

Rembrandt, Jacob blessing the children of Joseph, 1656

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

“Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” —Aristotle

The above painting is of Jacob blessing Joseph’s children.

Rembrandt became a master of light and detailed painter, exquisite faces by training, practice, and years and years of painting, over and over and over again — practice. And so it is with any craft, skill, degree or accomplishment.

However, it is also true of character and a Christian testimony.

The character that is habituated to improving, developing integrity by practice, stretching to work hard, to do the best, to exceed expectations comes from daily practice and personal integrity.

This comes from an inner grid, the way one learns to see life, expects himself to live. We called this "self-government," when we trained excellence of character into the very fiber of our children's souls.

Holiness is to be set aside for God’s purposes. If our goal is to become like Christ, little by little, every day by seeking to please Him, growing  in the direction of righteousness because of obedience, seeking to understand Him, His instruction, His ways.

It has made me realize, again, that I would so love to help encourage, inspire, train women to own their lives by learning how to establish foundations of these important convictions in their lives snd the lives of their own children.

"As a man sows, so shall he reap." (Galatians 6:7)

Excellence and integrity is a personal issue. One can only become this way through a personal commitment, a vision of oneself, and a decision that says,

"Regardless of what is happening around me, I will be the best I can be, work the hardest I am able, pursue the highest standards — especially for my personal life where no one but God sees — because I have been bought with a price and have His Holy Spirit residing within. So my worship of Him requires that I pursue the standard of His Holiness as an affirmation of His reality in my life."


Join me in my new podcast series about Godly character.

Winter Is A Time To Look For Signs Of Life

For all the darkness I may associate with winter, I have discovered that the winter seasons of my life can also be times of peace and even quiet rest, if I will let them be. A winter season can force me to slow down, reflect on life, wait on God, and trust him.

Winter is a time to diligently and faithfully store up his word in my spirit, drink deeply of his goodness and mercy, and keep the fires of hope alive in my heart.

It is a time to stop and reflect on how my life is different because I am God's child, to consider what is most important in my life with him—my husband, my children, my family, my friends.

It is a time to look for signs of life.

Read more about this in Seasons Of A Mother’s Heart.