Are you A Different Kind of Hero?' Read A Guidebook for Misfits like you & Me!

 
 

Scripture is full of imperfect, fearful warriors and champions—men and women who didn’t quite fit in. In other words, it is chock-full of stories about people who aren’t so very different from us.

We each struggle with failings or shortcomings—our own reasons for feeling like a misfit. We may have ways of thinking or patterns of behavior that make life challenging. We may be struggling with physical limitations, learning challenges, or mental illness. We may be socially awkward, painfully shy, or seemingly too outspoken. Any number of factors can make us feel somehow essentially different. 

In this week’s devotions drawn from A Different Kind of Hero, we highlight a story of a biblical character who dealt with his own challenges, pointing us toward the truth that God can—and does—use “misfits” like us. (Thanks to Christianity Today for choosing this book as their devotional of the week.)

One of the benefits of reading thousands of books with my children was that all of them have become people of words--messengers--writers. Sharing devotions, ideas, convictions, stories over many years has shaped each of our hearts, minds and souls. How fun it has been to be able to work with my adult children on  my own on books and study guides. Problem is, now I think they are better writers than I am and I need to step up to the bat to craft my messages as well as they do. 

Joel, my composer son, happened to be home for a couple of months when I was working on the deadline of this guidebook. He said, "I love the hero tales we read over the years in scripture. Do you want me to help you get this book written?"

Joel recorded one of the stories for you to listen to! Listen to one of the stories below--you will love hearing it retold. 

 This book takes the spirit of what was shared in Different, and looks at it through the lens of scripture. Because Joel is a gifted writer, composer, and artist of many mediums, and today, below,  he reads his own writing in the book in audio form. I can't wait for you to hear it! Please make sure to grab your own copy and enjoy this amazing adventure. - Sally

I was so excited to get to share in the "Different" journey, by working on the companion bible study, 'A Different Kind of Hero'. The book is inspired by the story of my mother and brother in the main book, and how they walked a "different" path; this guide takes you into stories like theirs from scripture, stories of giants of the faith who marched to the beat of a different drummer. From David to Elijah, Ruth to Rehab, each of these individuals saw God use their difficulties, limitations, and varying personalities to change the world and usher in His magnificent goodness. If you feel different, or know someone who does, look to scripture; you will find reassurance that God isn't interested in perfect; He's interested in taking exactly who you are and crafting it into something amazing.

I'm especially happy to be able to share a chapter of the book in narrated form, read aloud by yours truly. Take a listen to Peter's story, and be encouraged today to find the grace that God so desires to instill in your life. 

- Joel

You can find the rest of the stories in the guidebook. Let us know what you think!

Walking Through Soul Darkness & A New Podcast

 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 

Ephesians 6:12

There are times for each of us when it appears that all light, all hope, all answers, all strength, all is quickly fading, all hope is "eeking" out of our lives and we can do nothing to stop the darkness from coming.  It is a wilderness of soul when we feel that we are at an impasse and do not know what to do or where to go. We are tempted to think that we cannot go one step more. We are tempted to think that the Lord has abandoned us.

Often, we forget what the real implications of living in a really fallen world can wreak in our lives. We are surprised by our challenges, which is why Peter said, "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you," I Peter 4:12

God led Abraham into the wilderness where he was asked to sacrifice, to kill his only, beloved son--the one for whom he had prayed and waited for years and years.

Joseph was brought unjustly into prison after being falsely accused of immorality by a devious woman. He was left there for 10 years.

Moses kept sheep and wandered the wilderness for 40 years before he became the one who would lead the nation of Israel out of slavery.

Jesus was led into the wilderness to be tempted.

Paul had troubles endlessly as a part of his spiritual battle.

Should we, who have dedicated our lives to Him and His kingdom, expect our lives to be any different?

There is a mysterious value from heaven's point of view to being in the darkness of life in this world and still choosing to believe in a God who seems to have forgotten us. Darkness is part of the school for the soul, to delve into what really matters. To put away all that is frivolous or vain and to sift through what really matters. When we are desperate, we are serious, focussed on what life is all about, what He is all about. Our testimony through the darkness is precious to God. We become humble because we realize we have no power, no strength of our own to be able to handle life or to stay alive in a healthy way apart from God's intervention--his help, strength, wisdom, provision, leading.

Isaiah reminds us that some darkness is allowed by God, and does not mean He has abandoned us.

Who is among you that fears the LORD, That obeys the voice of His servant, That walks in darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God. Isaiah 50: 10

Wait....in the darkness. Be still in the darkness. Submit in the darkness. Trust in the darkness.

This passage is interesting because it is suggests the one who is in the darkness is one of God's faithful--one who loves, fears, obeys the Lord --He is the one who is in darkness.

Even in this darkness, God tells us what to do---trust in the name of the Lord our God and rely on Him.

But, when we find ourselves in this place, we see ourselves for what we really are. Our souls are laid bare. We see our limitations, our vulnerability, our weakness, our inability to do anything to save ourselves.

Our works will not help us. We do not have righteousness of our own. Our own strength cannot save us. We will only be saved, if by the mercy of God, He chooses to work and redeem us and restore us.

The situation for each one might be different: disappointment in relationships; a prodigal or impossible child; financial issues; loneliness; failure, deep soul wounds and rejection at the hands of those who we thought we needed to love us; broken dreams, people who lie about us, even as we see it happening to David in the Psalms.

Whatever the situation, we feel alone, unnoticed, helpless.

Just the place where God can teach us to rely on Him. He so desires to be the one who fulfills our greatest longings. He wants us to know His voice of guidance, purpose, love and mercy.

I have seen that all of those in my life who are the wisest, truest, most spiritually real and deep, in humility and gentleness, those who know God so well, have suffered deeply. They seem to really know their savior,  have had to walk through many such times of doubt, many such times of testing. And yet, when they have lived through it, they are deeper, more aware of their need for God, more thankful for His mercy, and, 

more focussed on eternity, more compassionate towards those who are lost, more humble in their demeanor.

God is not cruel and he can't be tempted by evil. He is always loving us, watching over us, willing His pleasure and strength. But if we are to be His warriors, we must learn to trust only in Him. We war against the darkness in this world to bring the light of Christ.

Darkness leads us to humility--dependence on Him. Humility leads to developing a dependence on the Holy Spirit, which leads to spiritual strength. And that is the only place real righteousness and strength can come from, from Him.

Sometimes, in all of our efforts to control life and to accomplish our works, we subtly think our success depends on ourselves. Our happiness can be found by striving enough.

And so a  loving Father must bring us to our own limitations, so that we can live above our mere worldly focus and become more familiar with His strength and mercy and love and ways.

Without Him, I have no hope, no formula, no ability to live in this futile world.

"Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day." Psalm 139: 12

With Him, and in the depths of the reality of the spiritual world, I find a peace and beauty and mercy I could not have had by seeking to provide it myself. He so longs to be close to us, to whisper His love and goodness and purposes into our ears. But sometimes, He must stop us in our tracks to make us be silent, to make us sit still so that we will focus on Him. When our lives feel dark, He is beyond the darkness, He is light, He is ruling over all of these pathways. 

I am a spiritual wimp. I do not like to wait, I do not like patience. I do not submit naturally. But, as a good Father, he holds my hand and leads me to what is really true, and in the end I am thankful.

One of the hardest experiences for me as a mother is to have to watch my own children walk through their own seasons of darkness. As a mother of four children who are each learning to trust God for themselves, I have had to see them through many seasons of difficulty, injustice, temptations, discouragement, each one in his or her own way, seeking answers to the mysteries of their own lives. It is hard for me to walk through--even harder to see them have to walk through.

And yet, if I desire them to be holy, I must let Him have His way in their lives. I must trust them to learn to choose to hold fast to Him. In these times, they are building spiritual muscle for themselves.

I know this post is long, but perhaps some of you are in this place and will be ministered by our own life process. I have met with several women in the past weeks who are at crisis crossroads in their lives. They are tempted to compromise their ideals, to give up, to give in, because the world gives us permission to do so.

But it is in this very darkness where your faith is so important, your choice will speak to all in your life of His faithfulness when you choose to believe in His goodness even when you do not feel it. I have lived long enough to see that He is holding me, carrying me every step and that our choices of faith became a beacon of hope to others who go through their own pathways of darkness. 

Your story and experience becomes your platform for encouraging others and showing them compassion.

May God grant each of us the grace to believe and worship Him through all of our days.

So very excited to see that Christianity today chose a Different Kind of Hero as their devotional book of the week. If you are weary--you will love this excerpt from the life of weary Elijah. Get the book and enjoy sweet encouragement from our precious Lord. Here is where you can read the devotionals for this week. HERE

Elijah: The Exhausted Prophet

Elijah: The Exhausted Prophet

How Are You Doing Caring For Yourself?

How are you doing on your New Year's resolutions? I hope they included intention not just to improve yourself, but to maintain yourself! As your children's greatest spiritual resource (not to mention physical and emotional and intellectual!)--you need to remember to put yourself on the "Needing Care" list!

Years ago when I found myself exhausted and somewhat ill, a doctor said, "You can kill yourself if you want to, but if you want to live well for years to come, you need to take responsibility for your health--no one else will!"

I began to realize that for many years I had exhausted myself and given so much that I had gotten to the danger point. At this particular point, Joy had nocturnal asthma and was up 1-2 hours every night, Sarah had an unusual illness, Clay was gone 3-4 days a week and still every day everyone had to eat, wear reasonably clean clothes and have some of my attention. Plus it was the beginning of the growth of our new ministry and I was in the thick of homeschooling. So how was I going to make my life different?

Here are some priorities I put in place.  You have heard it all before, but regular focus on these priorities will keep us healthy. Might any of them be of help to you?

1. Change my schedule to fill my own needs--since I am the well from which everyone draws all the time, I needed to be sure that well was being regularly filled back up. Rethinking how to center my life was essential.

2. Cutting out of my schedule those things that people wanted from me and that life seemed to call forth from me, but that weren't essential.  This is always hard to figure out and I have a hard time saying no. But there are meetings, lessons, "experiences" and always people wanting my attention. Had to realize that I could not have integrity in my messages if there was no integrity in my life. So, though I would love to meet all the needs I see out there, I have to get used to the fact that I will never, ever be able to get everything done I would like to, and so I have to choose to ignore some things in order to attend to the most important things (my walk with the Lord and quiet time, my physical body, my husband, my children, then my ministry.)

3. Added regular exercise to my life to get rid of my high adrenalin--there is high stress in my life and much of it can be dealt with by exercise. Plus, that's how I discipled Sarah--she walked with me every morning-2-3 miles.

4. Watching my diet more carefully--lots of fruit and vegetables and salads and nuts with some occasional "bad" stuff, but trying to focus on the 75% healthy side that my naturalist suggested and 25% splurge. (Traveling demands that I be flexible and we love to celebrate life--Sunday is the main splurge day for our family!)

5. Reading and filling my mind from other mature believer's lives.  There are many wonderful writers out there who encourage and teach me, and I like to think of them as mentors.  I also meet with a wise friend who's a bit ahead of me on life's journey and walk with the Lord, as often as we are both in town and able to meet. Make sure to have a quiet time.

6. Simplify, simplify, simplify all of life. What can you cut out?

7. Sabbath rest--always take Sundays off to rest, have fun, fellowship, worship and let everything rest until Monday--it is still there.

8. Create joy and fun for yourself--you are responsible to keep your cup filled so that others can draw life from what you have invested in yourself. Plan anchors of filling into your weekly schedule--I go for breakfast, (my favorite meal), with a friend, go for regular walks, have daily tea times, plan trips to see my kids, and so much more. 

This is what I am doing now. I have had some real fulfilling months and yet very taxing. Some weeks are about dropping everything. He can take care of all of the demands--if I don't observe these days of planned Sabbath for my soul, I will not be prepared for anything else--He and His ways must come first if I am going to make it this year!

So how are you doing, in the area of caring for your very important self?

Recognizing Our Children's Individual Giftings

 

On Valentines Day, we make special efforts to recognize our children's giftings and talents. We remind them of all the things we love best about them.  How often do we remember to remind them of those wonderful things on all the "normal" days of our lives?

As mothers and fathers, it is so easy to get distracted by the details of our lives. We have so much to do! We must feed our children well and take care of their health. We must oversee their education and their training to make sure they will be able to take care of themselves and live in a civilized society. We train them in righteousness so they may understand how God wants them to live. We try to relate to them in mature ways and help them learn to have healthy relationships.

Yet often, I think, we get lost in these multitudinous tasks that rule our lives, and we lose sight of the underlying purpose behind all these tasks, which is to prepare our children to go into the world and make disciples for our Lord.

Jesus promised that he would be with us. He also promised that he will come back. It is to him that we will have to give an account of how faithfully we sought to pass on his message and his commission to our children.

Giving our children the gift of inspiration—helping them understand their spiritual purpose, which is to glorify God and to make him known—is one of the most crucial tasks of Christian parenting.

Our children long for purpose in life and when they feel this purpose, they are much more likely to stay fast to their faith, because they feel a part of it. It is when faith is just rote and dry and merely something they "do" but don't engage in, that they are more likely to fall away to more secular beliefs. To give them a sense of their purpose in serving our King, Jesus, in His kingdom purposes, fulfills their desire for having a life that has meaning through all their years.

From the time the first man and woman turned away from him, God has sought to redeem us back to himself. His plan for accomplishing this task has been to use real people, made in his likeness. Jesus, of course, was the culmination of that plan—God's actual presence in human form. But since then each of us, including our children, has a part to play in that ongoing story of redemption.

Each of our children has been given a specific personality and a particular set of circumstances that will give shape to God's purpose for his or her life. It is our privilege and responsibility as parents to help our children understand their particular fit in God's plan.

This means pointing out special skills and talents. It also means helping children realize that God didn't give them such skills and talents just to use on themselves, but to glorify him and bring others to him through the stewardship of their lives. In other words, we are to help them see themselves and their potential and then to inspire them for God's purposes:

"Joel, you are so musical. Maybe you will write great music that will encourage others to worship God and to want to know him!"

"Nathan, you are so friendly and outgoing, I know God will use your personality and skills as a magician to reach out to many and to make a bridge for them to understand the gospel."

"Sarah, what an excellent writer you are. You are also so artistic. I'm eager to see how God can use your work to encourage others to understand him better or to appreciate the beauty and design of his creation!"

"Joy, you are so compassionate. I love the sweet cards you make! I can see the Lord using you to comfort and encourage many lonely or hurting people."

As mothers, we have the hearts and the trust of our children from the earliest moments of their lives, and they need us for so many reasons. They naturally look to us for physical sustenance, protection, affection.

Deep in their hearts, however, they also long for a special place to belong, a place to feel their worth, and they need us to help them find it. These precious children were designed to fulfill a purpose for God by bringing his glory to bear through their lives. They were designed to be his hands, his voice, his heart and mind through the various kinds of work they undertake in his world.

When we remind our children of their eternal significance, using everything from lullabies to bedtime stories to simple phrases such as "I wonder how God will use you in the world?" we help fulfill the deepest need of their hearts to be a part of a kingdom that is much greater than they have ever seen or known. As we seek to give our children the gift of inspiration, we will find ourselves being pulled down the road of our own purpose and significance, and we will intuitively verify the importance of God's design for motherhood.

Get a copy of Different to understand more of how to love and affirm your children with their unique differences and personalities--to motivate them to become all God designed them to be.

 

A part of this post was taken from the Ministry of Motherhood.

Starving For Love

Nathan and I took a trip to Austria and Poland by ourselves when he was 15 and cherished our memories forever burnished in our souls.

Nathan and I took a trip to Austria and Poland by ourselves when he was 15 and cherished our memories forever burnished in our souls.

"An aching, longing pulses beneath, where no one can see. As the body requires food to stay alive, so the depths of a child hungers for love in order to stay alive. Love that embraces, validates, affirms, whispers, "

Charles W. Bartlett

"Just as you are, I adore you. You delight me. I think about you, I cherish the day your were born. You are my beloved and always will be, no matter what."

Your Mama

Each of us was crafted with a soul container that would be filled with love. Though no one can see from the outside whether ours is empty, desolate or full to overflowing, each of us has the capacity to fill up another's cavern with words, touch, sacrifice, generous gifts. When full, we are most likely to understand and worship God as a God of love because we have felt love, heard love, tasted love in our world of reality.

Without that filling, we will search for it all of our lives, even in the wrong places--places that promise to give love and fill hearts, but steal and destroy instead.

But a mother's love is one of the most constant resources of God's love that can sustain, strengthen, heal and restore a child.

Over 500 times, He speaks to us of love.....

God is love.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God, and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.

The love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit.

If you have not love, you have become a noisy gong or a clanging symbol.

They will know you are my disciples by your love for one another.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Let us remember,

Love moves, inspires, shapes the dreams, gives hope, holds us for eternity--for heaven.

Every child, every grown child, needs, exists well when love is given.

It is our heritage, our duty, our service of gratitude. Love is the oxygen of our soul which keeps us alive.

When we, by faith, invest love in others, our own souls become full of His love--we pour out, He pours in.

Why do I focus on God's love and grace so much? Because Love is the source of all life, it is Him reincarnated through us. Love fuels faith and hope and inspires to overcome..

Love is the fuel that causes a baby to grow strong, love gives strength to the heart of a child learning true foundations of life, love carries teens through years of self-doubt to adulthood with the memory of having been cherished through mysterious years.

I have read the introductions to two books this week. Two grown men, famous in their own arenas. Both wrote of the anger of their father, that still stings, still holds them in bondage, still darkens the memory of childhood soul. It ought not to be the legacy we leave.

Peter, the one Jesus believed in and forgave, reminds us:

Love covers a multitude of sin.

Proverbs: it is to a man's honor to overlook a sin.

Paul speaks of it: Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.

And so I speak of love--the acting out of love which brings light to darkness, satisfaction to a starving heart, comfort to a lonely soul, sympathy to hurt feelings, Love never fails. May our love muscles grow stronger and stronger until we see Him, Love incarnate, face to face.

 
 

Do you want to know how to love well? Read Different and be inspired. 

 

Speaking Words of Life

"A man has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word." Proverbs 15:23

When I began to make Biblical joy a focus of my life, and then wrote a book about it, I was so blessed, again, to learn so much in God's word that is changing my life. There are times when I learn truth and feel so guilty that it makes me want to stop being in ministry as I see how much I have fallen short of God's ways for me. But, if I take the truth as instruction for my own life so that I may live better and live more in the grace and blessing of the Lord, then I can just confess how I have fallen short, apply the new truth and move forward with God's blessing of forgiveness and love.

I assume God's love, I don't have to earn it.

Indeed it is true that what we sow, we will reap. Yet, sowing requires a decision of our will, of our heart, to decide just what we will sow. One way we sow into our own lives as well as the lives of those around us is through our words.

Lifegiving words have deep and abiding power. It is through words that we come to understand the truth about the Lord.

Words can give hope, life, and redemption, or death, guilt, anger, and bitterness.

We are to be stewards of our words and if we are walking with God, we are to plant words as seeds in the hearts of our children, that our words of blessing might reap the fruit of life and beauty and hope and confidence in their lives.

The legacy of Words of anger

I have talked to a number of precious moms lately who struggle with anger and impatience, and yell a lot at their children. Of course all of us have experienced this if we have lived very long.

Yet, if we regularly sow angry words, condemning words, guilt-producing words, we will find our children feel hurt, condemned, guilty, criticized, unloved.

But, studying scripture in this area lately has really caused me to develop some stronger convictions again, about the importance of guarding my lips and keeping them from pouring out anger--and asking for forgiveness when I do not! We all do this from time to time, but if we are to grow in righteousness, we need to use self-control in the area of anger and learn to move more and more into His gracious, patient love as we mature in understanding His own love and fatherhood of us.

Sowing words of life

A child has joy in an apt answer, I might paraphrase. And how delightful is a timely word. If children grow up on words such as, "I am so thankful for you!" "You are a blessing to me." "I appreciate you because...." "God has a special place for you in his kingdom." "You encourage me." "I see that you are capable in ____area.

You are the rock. You are a joy. You are faithful. You are a lover." "I believe in you." I believe in your dreams." etc. ,

Then there will be stored up in their hearts a deep confidence that they are loved, respected, appreciated, called by God to accomplish great things for His kingdom. 

And in marriage....

As in all of the other areas of our lives, we have choices to make. In marriage, we can look at the great faults of our spouses or hold on to bitterness or our rights, and justify our withering speeches and lectures and complaints to them, not understanding that this kind of speech kills a relationship.  

Or we can look at those areas for which we are grateful or remind ourselves why we were attracted to our spouses to begin with. We can pile on guilt or discouragement, complaints, and un-forgiveness for what we have not received. This is the way of the world. 

The way of God, which includes forgiveness and love, is to learn to verbalize words that bring life. We must bear our spouses load and speak words of love, respect, admiration and support, and let them know we forgive them. What we sow we will reap. 

Same goes in friendship, ministry, and work situations. We can choose to be a blessing and sow seeds of faith in the lives of those God has brought in our lives, or we can sow death to a relationship.

How are you speaking words of life today? Is there anything you need to repent for, give to God, perhaps even apologize to someone for? Better late than never. God will cover our faults (thank goodness!)

Counting the Cost--And Determining to Build Your Home

 

Secular messages from the world's point of view and the values it holds invade my life and the life of my adult children, and you, every day. If we have been foundations of truth, biblical world view, faith and understanding in who God is through out the scriptures, we will much more likely be able to hold fast when the storms of life blow against us.

Yet, often, when I meet young women, they are much more concerned about the right activities to choose for their children, their academic success and the lessons they are providing for their children. The most important issue for moms to focus on is the training and mentoring of their children to love and serve God and to understand his wisdom and ways. This is more important than any other emphasis and so it does require commitment and consistency to build.

I have no greater joy than to hear of my children loving God, growing deeper in their faith and taking his messages to the world. This is what satisfies my mama heart--we have gone way past me caring what their SAT's were or their grades in college--who cares? who remembers?

There are many foundational Christian truths and values that I planned to instill in my children, such as dependence upon God's Word, living by faith, walking in the Spirit, grace and freedom, and integrity. If I could pour these into their lives for a solid, strong foundation, then I know that whatever else I—or they—built on it will stand strong.

Clay and I have lived this principle in real life. We have built two houses, both of which cost more, both in time and money, than we anticipated. We know by the hard road of experience that it pays to count the cost before you begin to build.

When you're talking about building your family, it is even more essential to count the cost. You do so to be sure you are willing to pay the price of building, to finish what you begin (see Luke 14:28). There is a price to pay for building your home and family according to God's plan.

There is the physical cost of weariness from teaching and caring for children with constant needs, from doing housework and laundry, from making countless meals, from picking up the same toys over and over again. There is the emotional cost of always being expected to give affection and attention to ever-present children, of directing their education, of training their spirits and disciplining them, of being available to them for what seems like 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. There is the personal cost of giving up personal expectations, of sacrificing personal "rights" for the benefit of the children, of accepting the limitations of time, of often choosing to live and make do with less as a one-income home.

Over the years, these costs have occasionally accelerated and come due all at the same time in my life. At those times, I have felt overwhelmed and defeated and I wanted to quit. But because I had counted the cost, I knew I would keep going. One step at a time I would go forward, trusting God all the way, because I knew that my house was worth building.

Sometimes, though, I have made the building process more costly than God ever intended it to be. Like other mothers who live under the fear of not doing enough, I expected more of myself than God did. Consequently, I set unrealistic goals and higher standards for my children than God required. It shouldn't be surprising then that I burned out trying to pay a cost God never required. I burned out, not because God was asking more of me than I could do, but because I was asking more of me than I could do--and was worrying about areas of busyness that, in the long run, did not matter. As a wiser woman now, I know that God's goal for me is that I build a good house, according to my own strength, wisdom and ability to follow Him. After all, if I become spiritually exhausted because I try to build more than God expects of me, then I soon won't be building at all.The key to this is releasing my faith in God to take what I can build, and by His spirit, make it enough.

When Clay and I built those houses many years ago, the work was tedious, messy, time-consuming, and frustrating. We experienced setbacks, our original plans changed, but we kept building. Eventually we enjoyed and benefited from our efforts. The final product was worth building. And even though the cost is high, your family is worth building.

As I grow older, God opens my eyes a little more each day to see the preciousness and fragility of my children's lives. And each day, I lean a little harder on the Lord. Each day, my confidence and faith for building my own home rests a little less on my abilities and strengths as a mother, and more and more on his character and grace.

One thing I am more confident about than ever, though, is God's faithfulness to godly parents. If I am ordering my life according to the Creator's design for family, I don't have to wonder if my house will stand or fall—it will stand. And I can rest assured that the same gracious God who entrusted four precious, fragile lives into my hands, will be faithful to keep those children in his hands. He will build a home through me, and a testimony through my children, that will stand here on this earth and throughout eternity.

Read more in Seasons of a Mother's Heart, here.

Be sure to get a copy of Different: The Story of an Out of the Box Kid, and the Mama who Loved Him today and join us in our podcast book study of the chapters. More on Monday!

 

 

Finding Hope in the Broken Places & a New Podcast

misty_road_2-t2.jpg

Sitting with a dear friend amidst attempts to drink coffee and eat a few bites of breakfast, I found myself surrounded again and again by women who had attended Renew Your Heart in Dallas with me this weekend. 

Person after person shared their burdens with me.

"My husband left 6 months ago."

"My mother and father both have cancer and I found out my husband needs an extensive back surgery."

"I just took my 14 year old son out of school because he was suicidal. I don't have a clue how to homeschool but I am trying to save his life."

As I looked out the window right in front on my seat, there were three small, delicate birds, hopping amongst the tree branches and chirping their songs as loudly as they could, as though singing a good worship song to heaven. 

i was struck with the contrast--beauty amidst the sad parts of the story, song accompanying the moment when struggles were shared. It was as though God himself was reminding us that He was here with us in the shadow places, watching, being present, longing till the time He would personally wipe every tear away. 

Sweet women, just like me, who find themselves in a fallen world where hearts can be broken and lives can be shaken, were sharing deep places inside and yet were straining to live a life of hope because of His promises and presence in the midst.  The theme of this weekend was Unshakeable Hope In God.

As I look at my 63 years, 44 of them walking with God, I can say that my life has been fraught with more issues than I ever imagined--car wrecks, a fire in our home, 2 floods, hospitalizations, church splits, relationship issues, financial burdens, outside the box kids and more. 

And yet, I can look back and see that God was with us every step of the way. At each point, I learned to let go of more and more expectations of this world that I falsely thought might bring me satisfaction. I embraced the beauty of the moment, the people right in front of me that I could love and be loved back by. I learned I didn't need the things I thought I needed to make me happy because of the ways God taught me to be content, free of guilt, living in the grace of the moment.

"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD." Psalm 31:24

God taught me that I had spiritual muscle I did not know I had. He strengthened me, taught me how to be courageous, showed me HIs grace so that I might learn to teach others about His lovingkindness, His faithfulness, to have hope and to extend love and patience. 

One of my favorite authors, Elizabeth Gouge shares thoughts throughout her books that give me hope. May we each learn to live in the grace God gives in the story we are living for his glory. 

“There always comes, I think, a sort of peak in suffering at which either you win over your pain or your pain wins over you, according as to whether you can, or cannot, call up that extra ounce of endurance that helps you to break through the circle of yourself and do the hitherto impossible. That extra ounce carries you through 'le dernier quart d' heure.' Psychologist have a name for it, I believe. Christians call it the Grace of God.”

― Elizabeth Goudge, The Castle on the Hill

Kristen and I got to share with all the attendees the podcast time where we discussed how to launch children by having a grid to work from each day, how to lay foundations that are imprinting the minds and hearts of those you love and invest in, how to move forward towards maturity and patience when you are living moments of testing. 

We hope you enjoy the podcast Kristen and I recorded live at the conference this weekend. We love love love meeting all of you and knowing you are enjoying our podcast. What fun to connect with you and see your real faces. Thanks for all the encouragement you gave to me and our family.

 
By Sally Clarkson, Nathan Clarkson
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Dealing with Siblings Fussing--The Place It Must Begin!

One evening Clay and I were sitting together with some leaders, discussing difficulties parents face with their children.  Toward the top of the list was siblings fussing at one another. All of us in our home are sinners, Clay, me and the kids, and we've had plenty of opportunity to think and pray about how to deal with this! Wouldn't it be great if there were a pill or magic formula to get rid of all fussing and whining?

Fussing comes from a heart issue--it has at its root the basis of all sin--selfishness and self-centeredness. The attitude behind all quarrels and contention says, "I want my way. I deserve to be the center of attention. I need to have all of my wishes and desires met and everyone else is wrong when they violate my needs and desires."

However, another spiritual contention comes from pride--I know more than you--my religious philosophy is doctrinally more correct than yours, my educational philosophy is better than yours, I am less bad than you or I am better than you and so on. Pride is also at the root of contention.

Fussing is at the root of divorce, family separations, church splits, sibling rivalry, and any kind of contention that separates people. This plague of selfishness is running rampant in America today as we see promiscuity--which basically says, "I want my pleasure when I want it, but I don't have to take in consideration anyone else--gratification is more important than love and commitment." It also is an attitude that communicates, "If you aren't going to be mature and fulfill my needs then I have the right to move on to other relationships until I find someone else who can fulfill my needs."

I have always told my children that it is natural to be selfish, defensive, argumentative, full of pride, but it is supernatural to be mature, loving and patient, humble. Jesus disciplines us that we might conform to His image. He is the model for unconditional love, patience, self-sacrifice, forgiveness, encouragement, humility. He of all people chose to separate Himself from the grandeur of God to become one of the lowly, humble, poor humans of this earth. If He so chose in order to really show us what righteousness looked like, then we should ponder His simple, sacrificial, uncomplaining life in order to really take on His character and love.

Choosing to be an instrument of love requires us to obey His word and His will and to make a choice to be peacemakers and life-givers. Maturity is a process of practicing obedience and choosing love while also knowing that it is the Holy Spirit who lives in us, to work out His good pleasure and holiness through us.

Jesus is our model and yet even Jesus showed us that maturity and righteousness was a process of choosing to do the right thing--obedience--choice of our will--not paying attention to what he felt, but doing what he knew was right.  This is the essence of the love and patience we need to teach our children and that we also need to obey.

Hebrews 5:8, in talking about Jesus' example while on the earth, says,"though He was a Son, (of God), yet he learned obedience by the things he suffered." Jesus learned obedience by submitting His will to the Father; by practicing doing what was right, which is why He's described as learning obedience.

So, all true love and goodness comes from obeying God and doing the right thing for His sake. When our hearts and the hearts of our children understand this, then we will have the right reason to choose not to be contentious and selfish. Loving God and therefore choosing to be loving to unloving spouses, patient with unlovely toddlers or teens, forgiving in church situations when we have the right to be offended, are all for the love of our Lord who was perfectly loving, patient and kind as the servant leader.

If we are contentious to others, or constantly critical of friends or people in our own life, how can we expect our children to "catch" the spirit of love? If we complain and whine and cry as a habitual response to life, how can our children understand the strength and grace of the unconditional love of Christ lived through us? If we tell our children to quit complaining or whining or arguing, and then proceed to complain against our in-laws or husband or argue with others, then we are not establishing a foundation for them to stand upon.  If we are angry and impatient, it will create scars but also deform them in the ability to move beyond fussing to become healthy adults who can bring grace to relationships.

Eventually young children grow up and will see through hypocrisy. We don't have to be perfect--but we have to be humble and ask for forgiveness. We must seek to have integrity. Trying to tell our children they have to obey us and lording it over them in harshness will only suffice for a short few years. They will mature and see through the words to the heart and actions and will not follow inconsistencies. I do think parenting is the way God humbles and trains us in righteousness because it requires our best in order to be the best parents we can be.

I have had friends over the years who knew a lot of scripture and read a lot of books and put forth a righteous front, but who were critical behind people's backs or talked in judgment about people and in pious self-righteousness, convinced that they are justified, felt no conviction for their sin.

However, Jesus, while being reviled, did not revile in return, but kept trusting himself to God. Wherever Jesus is there is peace, gentleness, humility and grace--except for the Pharisees and religious people or the exceedingly, intentionally wicked.

Though as moms we tend to be so irritated at the quarreling and immature fussing of our children, it is no more attractive in adults. If we don't address the general selfishness of all of our culture, which has seeped into our own lives and is bolstered by our own natural selfishness, then we will not be able to address the issues in our own home. So, I have been convicted over the years, that creating a peaceful environment in my home must start with me. I am responsible to God to seek to love and serve others because of His love for me.

The True Contest: Will We Be Loyal?

Since the beginning, Satan has tempted man to be disloyal to God, his Creator; he has vied for our allegiance. The Old Testament book of Job is an example of this. Satan, who roams to and fro through the whole earth, seeking whom he may devour, was searching for another human being to test—to see if he could cause him to curse God and turn away from him. Satan said that Job followed God only because his life was so blessed. But God had seen into Job's heart. He knew that Job was a devoted follower. So Satan threw every possible temptation and trial Job's way to see if he could make him hate and renounce God. But it was to God's great glory that Job passed the test—he stayed faithful to the Lord his God.

Job's story of testing has become a model for us all on how to walk with God. Job must have experienced, in the end, everlasting joy in knowing that he had passed the test, that he'd seized the opportunity to show God's faithfulness, and that he'd come through with a story for all eternity of his faithfulness to God.

This is the true contest that has taken place since the beginning of time. Those who remain loyal to God and obey his will have a place in history where their story of faithfulness will be told throughout all generations. These tests are our opportunities to exhibit to God and to the world the integrity of our faith in him and our commitment to do his will, just like all of those in the Hebrews hall of fame (Hebrews 11). Our tests present each of us with the prospect to be found on God's side, to be counted among those who do not shrink back but stand firm in faith and character.

Great joy comes in the freedom of having passed through difficult seasons and having seen his faithfulness along the way. I feel that I am more the person I want to be because of the many tests of my life. God has shared with me his wisdom along the way. He has shown me that with him I am stronger and more capable of accomplishing more things in life than I ever would have imagined.

Because of these truths, I can now greet other tests with more peace and grace, knowing that they can compel me to look more longingly toward heaven and can give me a deeper love and appreciation for my Father and his unconditional love to me, his child. Even though I don't desire trials, I can enter into them in anticipation of how they can become my greatest accomplishments.

Joy, then, comes in embracing the opportunity to be a part of his world of righteousness and preparing to live with him in that kingdom for eternity. Joy comes in following where he leads me, choosing to believe that his way is good and that he works according to his will. I quench this joy when I resist him and fight against the dance he is trying to teach me. I experience the grace of the dance when I follow his direction and his lead, even when it seems to be the opposite of what I might have done.

To grow in this joy, I have to move where he leads. When dancers attempt to turn in different directions, there is no beauty, no synchronizing of movement. But when they learn to read each other's movements and move as one body, there is a beauty, a grace, and a skill of step that grants the joy of unity and elegance to the dance.

James told us to "Consider it all joy...when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance" (James 1:2-3). List the trials that you are experiencing right now.

How does God want you to pass the test of these particular trials?

What attitude do you need to change or cultivate?

Read more here: Dancing With My Father

Be sure to buy your copy of Different and join us as we discuss the chapters in the coming weeks on our podcast.