I have not yet wrapped all of the packages.
As a matter of fact, I have not bought presents for everyone that I meant to buy, and still have a list of projects and purchases and preparations longer than I would like.
There has always been this desire inside to make Christmas so special. I think to myself, "I want to be sure the kids feel loved. I haven't gotten everything done that I meant to do."
Of course, this year things are much different than they normally are, as we are used to gathering all together in our Colorado home. As much before in 2020, this isn’t going to happen for us this year, and Nathan and Keelia won’t be able to join us here in Oxford, either. We are learning to adjust day by day to all the disappointed expectations, to look for the positives when things don’t go as we like.
So I am planning with open hands for whoever is able to be together here--as always, I want to sit and listen to all their stories and hold all the moments of new memories we will make.
But, I am choosing today to stop the frenzy. Somehow trying to center and give focussed love and a listening ear to my loved ones seems more important than getting all the externals right. Most of mine are faring well-ish, but we are all lost not knowing what is ahead, just like you. So listening to their frustration and feelings is even more important than figuring out how to get a host of gifts when stores are closing down or are not open to begin with.
I want to sit for a while and love my Jesus., because that is the only place I will find peace and rest in this whirling, long season. To remember how grateful I am to know Him and to understand His presence, God with us, God with me, Immanuel, every day and especially today.
I will look into Clay’s eyes and see what I might do to lighten his load.
My four children are all filled with heart needs. I hope I can find a way today to express how much love them and care for all the pressures and stresses and insecurities and issues that are on their hearts. I will make time to call those far away, and pray I will find a way to give the present of my presence to the ones who are right here with me.
In short, I am dedicating this day to what I think will matter, above the things that are crying and vying for my attention.
Please let me be faithful to all that matters, and not a slave to the things that will create more stress.
I give this day to you, Jesus.