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"It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." C. S. Lewis
"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4
The past three weeks, I have had the privilege of serving as a grandmother in my sweet Sarah’s home. Baby Samuel is 4 weeks today and LiIy is almost two—approaching those interesting challenging times. Now I remember what it was like to sit for hours on end rocking, walking, nursing, playing, feeding and wondering if I was accomplishing anything at all.
Seems we all have lots of meantime when we are waiting for something to happen when we will be happier or freer or more fulfilled. I have learned that waiting for any other circumstance or person to fulfill all the felt needs of your life is a wrongly directed expectation. It is a process to learn, but only as we learn how to flourish in all those meantimes when we are waiting, (for a spouse, for enough money, for children or for children to be out of diapers or out of teenage hormones, or a new house or whatever), it is possible to flourish. Today, I am speaking about how to flourish while you are waiting. I have learned it over many years and was not always patient, but it has served me well.
I am not naturally a very noble or valiant person. And so when I read this verse over the years, I would flinch and go through it quickly, because I didn't relish trials. Our lives have been full of them and I have, at times, learned to dread another day in case it might have some new trial in it.
Having 4 children, homeschooling, moving 19 times, 8 times internationally, and all the difficulties in relationships, criticism for my ideals, finances, health issues, loneliness, marriage, the different phases of my children's lives, ministry and an overload of responsibilities, just keeping up with all the work that never ends was so very much harder than I ever realized life would be.
Though in my early 20's, I became serious about the Lord, and truly committed to going anywhere, doing anything for His kingdom, I no more had an idea of what that would mean, than a little girl who dresses up as a princess and pretends to know what it would mean to become a queen and rule a country.
Yet, I can look back now, after many years of trials, and see that God had such great plans for my life, and the only pathway to these plans of His, was through many trials. I had pretty much committed myself to becoming a warrior for His kingdom in this life, not realizing that in order for someone to become a general to lead others into battle, he must first begin with basic training.
Basic training is that hard, disciplined, demanding season of training that seeks to build strength, self-control, in the life of a would-be soldier. It is also for the purpose of drawing soldiers forward, stretching their capacity to be stronger, more capable, to live up to their own ability and potential.
After passing successfully through basic training, a soldier must prove worthy in real battles to earn the right to humbly and wisely lead others into victory in bigger arenas.
And so, because God delights in us entering into the fray of this world, to bring light, beauty, truth and to stand strongly and boldly for His purposes, he sends us trials and training to prepare us for the platform He would have us stand on. His trials have been the training grounds to give me integrity in my messages so that I really could encourage other women. Only God was there in the dark moments of my life, to see if my heart would respond in faith, to do the hard work, to love when no one else knew I was making this choice but God.
And so, my victories through the trials became the very platform in which I saw the grace of God, His goodness and love, in seeing that He had a better plan for me than I had for myself. My integrity was won in the seemingly invisible places, where He was testing and strengthening me for bigger arenas. And so I understand this process better for my children as they foray into life.
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