"The ultimate key to providing a nurturing environment in my home is me.
The physical surroundings can make a big difference. The lessons provided can be interesting. The curriculum I choose can challenge.
In the end, though, what my children and husband need most from me is not a perfect home
or perfect training
or a perfectly spiritual role model
or a wife without faults--
but a mother and wife who is committed to doing whatever it takes to love them and make a living home for them and to fully live the life of Christ in the borders of this home in such a way, that they understand, feel, taste His reality."
~Sally Clarkson, The Mission of Motherhood
"In the twilight of our lives, we will be judged on how we have loved."
St. John of the Cross
It is truly a phantom to think that any woman can do it all! I have found in my own life, that if I am attending to the needs of my children, Clay, home, close friends and family, I really have to economize and prioritize my time as my life pretty much demands every moment of me. More and more with each passing day, I sense how important my role as a mother and godly woman is and I get such joy out of it, as I daily see the results of my many years of striving toward the goal of being a woman after God's own heart and serving those around me for His glory.
Now, don't get me wrong, this does not mean that I always feel loving towards these strange people who inhabit my home!
But because of my love for the Lord, which is more dear to me each year, I keep putting one step in front of the other and see, with the eyes of my heart and mind, the power of my work to fill souls with great thoughts and causes and love for God's kingdom. Mostly, though, I see more clearly how much I am a living picture of God's reality every day, by exhibiting the fruit of the spirit, by giving cups of cold, refreshing water; by serving and giving of myself and my wisdom and teaching, and by always taking the initiative to speak life and joy and wisdom on a regular basis.
We once had a friend who seemed very pious. Our family would often feel guilty when we ate dinner at her house, because she made us feel that we should all be more serious. We all felt like w had been let out of jail when we left her home!
She accomplished so much and had a pristine house, but we felt drained just being there. Her attempts to be spiritual and "work" for God, I am convinced, was out of a heart that was striving to figure out how to really know God and serve Him sincerely. Yet, the result of all her denying of self, speaking piously, and working, working, working, left most of the people in her life feeling guilty and distant from her.
Since she had apparently not experienced the grace and peace of God, she could only give out of a soul of performance, which brings about death to relationships. Life must be infused with the grace and freedom of God. Eventually, this mom became depressed and gave up, wondering where God had gone, since she felt she had worked all her life for Him. Of course, He hadn’t gone anywhere; honestly, He did not ever require that she exhaust herself with a myriad of tasks; He wanted her to know His love and share it in the everyday moments of her life instead.
I do not wish in any way to discourage anyone who works hard for God. Yet, sometimes, we get lost trying to figure out how to really rest in God while holding up ideals. Giving our life into His hands and not taking all responsibility onto our shoulders is a good start.
As I have been pondering this situation, I have realized when I am in the presence of someone who really walks with God, there is evidence of life and joy and goodness and well-being and grace and faith. God tells us when we abide in Him--rest in Him, stay in Him, walk with Him—we will bear much fruit. The fruit is a natural result of His spirit working through us, not of us trying to push out works of righteousness on our own.
When one is washed with the unconditional love and grace and mercy of God, the result is peace, humility, and thankfulness of heart. The women I know who really exhibit the life of the Lord aren't above discouragement or humanity, but there is a palpable sense of walking with God and having made a decision to please Him and trust Him through the ups and downs of life. There is a security I feel in being with them, because I know their sails have been set toward the King and His Kingdom and I can trust in their integrity to continue journeying in the right direction with Him at the helm. Isn’t this just what we want for our children?
Growing in grace, peace, and maturity as we walk with the Lord is the key to crafting a nurturing home, especially in uncertain days. Let’s start there!
