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“I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. I just feel sad inside,” I answered Clay.
I am well fed, have a warm bed, plenty to do, but deep dark feelings seems to emerge on this Saturday morning and I knew I needed to look at them to figure out where they were coming from.
Covid Virus has left all of us with disappointments, disturbances to our normal schedules, and left us with big question marks. When will this end? What will life be like when it is over? How long will we have to social distance? What is the economy going to be like.
As I was sharing some of these feelings, I realized that this was the first time in 36 years when I had lived without one or some of my adult children for more than 5 days. They are much of my community, my best friends, my confidants, my spiritual inspires. I realized I had been stuffing my lonesomeness for them and just for people and friends. So often, we do stuff our feelings and just carry on faithfully.
I shared some of this with my dear friend,Holly Packiam, who is a ministry leader in her church and teaches women’s and parenting ministry groups. Holly is also a trained counselor and so we thought it might be helpful to talk about some of the ways to cope with the sense of loss that many of us are feeling.
I remember a how I felt in another time of deep isolation, Holly shares. Her 4 kids were 7 and under and it felt impossible to go anywhere, get anything done, or see anyone outside of her family.
She recalls: “It felt hard to take care of myself and at moments I truly thought I was going to lose my mind.
I remember thinking: I can’t do this...I can’t get anything done and I can’t be the mother to the kids they need. I needed to talk to a friend-- any adult!
I needed conversation to stimulate my mind. I wanted to hear from others and to be listened to.
I felt alone being the only adult in the house.
I felt anxiety growing in my stomach by the day.”
Maybe this season isn’t much different for some of you. These feelings of loneliness, anxiety, depression, frustration, and anger have been residing in your heart for a long time and this season hasn’t changed that. Or perhaps the fact that you literally can’t leave your house or that there is actually nowhere to go has magnified those difficult feelings.
Jesus showed us that part of being truly and fully human is to bring our sadness and anguish, our heaviness and loneliness, to the Father in prayer. In fact, the people of God have a long tradition of bringing their laments to God. We see this in the Psalms.
Today, we look at what a lament is, and how Godly lament helps us in naming and coping with loss. We will talk through Psalm 13-- a classic lament psalm, with protest, petition, and praise found within in it. We also offer helpful ways to process what you’re feeling in this season.
Sweet friends, I think about you so often and pray for all of you. Holly and I prayed for you.
May God’s peace and comfort meet you today, sweet friend and may you know you are not alone. .
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