"Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?"
~Romans 2:4
Play Episode on iTunes & Stitcher
“Mama,” one of my children wrote this week, “one of the reasons I kept listening to you, even when I was a teenager, was that I always felt you were “for” me, on my side, you understood my quirks, you accepted me. Isn’t that the standard of Christ’s love toward all of us?”
Many of you who have read our books know that Clay and I are very relationship-based in our approach to children. As we looked to Christ for His model in how He reached the hearts of his disciples, so we wanted to develop a close and deep with ours. Yet, I think because every parent wants to do everything right, they often become susceptible to whatever parenting book they get their hands on first, seeking to find a formula for disciplining children.
Many books and materials on the market and in the Christian realm in the past few years have focused so much on formulas, offering harshness as an acceptable use of authority and law. This is what many parents long for--"Just give me the rules and tell me how to do it right so at 18, I’ll have a perfect child!” We would prefer a cookie-cutter approach to children, a one size fits all. And yet, none of us is the same, or has the same personality and response, and as we grow as parents, we realize that faith, patience and growing are the foundations of good parents.
Often, these very materials that sell the most add human wisdom and opinion to formulas that sound very inviting, But even if a Christian-sounding title or spin is added to them, these christianese manifestos are much like the hundreds of rules the Pharisees added to the law which served to put people under fear: if they don't do everything right, it will be their fault if their children do not turn out well but go astray. They then diligently correct every little immaturity and misbehavior of their children, becoming authoritarian parents. They are at-home policemen, watching for every possible "sin" and bad behavior, treating their children harshly when bad behavior is manifested. Instead of enjoying their children, they feel stressed and angry that their children insist on whining and doing things to irritate them all the time.
The formula approach is neither Biblical nor productive. I am so very glad Jesus does not treat me this way, or I would give up! Though I am now in my 60's, I still sin, act in an immature way, and feel selfish sometimes. But He gently leads me, continuing to teach me wisdom as I seek His Word. He gives me understanding through the Holy Spirit so that little by little, I become more like Him. Holy, even. Hebrews tells us, "He disciplines us that we may share in His Holiness." He does this through training in our circumstances, over a lifetime--and He is never, never harsh with us, even in our immaturity, if our heart is turned toward Him.
How do you picture Jesus with the multitudes? As a policeman with a frown on his face? Or as the good shepherd, the one who saw them and felt compassion, the one who took the children into His arms to bless them. He was the servant leader, who washed feet and made meals. His harshness was often expressed to those who were the rule keepers, who, he said, “heap burdens on the people with their many laws.”
Books Referenced in this Podcast:
FOR MORE
Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.
Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.
Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.
Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.
Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!
