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Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens,
and I will give you rest.
Matt. 11:28
Sitting slumped on our front porch rocking chairs, I felt as though a thousand pounds was resting on my shoulders. I could glance within and see that inside I was sort of crumbling. Not the momentary, flash in the moment sort of crumble. But the deep-down, shadows beginning to cover my heart and a responsive physical heaviness that matched my heart.
Joy sat next to me, touching my arm as I spoke, pursing her lips, looking at me with tenderness and compassion.
“I feel like it is not just one major blow that is at the core of my sadness. But it is like a hundred small hits have weakened my resolve to be joyful and I am bleeding bit by bit in all the myriad hits. A slow but sure death.
We are all subject to our own human limitations.
Joy then told me of a contemporary song, "Death by 1000 Cuts.” I found out it was an old form of Chinese torture, where prisoners of war would not be killed all at once but by 1000 cuts, little by little bleeding to death. That was how I felt—many different ways I was experiencing the stress and challenges of life all at once, a slow but sure death of my heart.
Maybe some of you feel that way, too. We all determined to be grateful through the pandemic, thankful we had enough food, a bed to sleep in, food to eat. And then we found out that many had lost their jobs, their homes, many sick.
Lately, my message box has been filled with even more sad stories—a woman wrote to me from a parking lot, saying her husband had left her the night before with her 4 little ones and she didn’t know anyone else in he world to contact. Another whose husband announced he didn’t believe in God anymore. Another who said her husband was acting out in anger towards her children. Another whose marriage was over.
But still there is Jesus, and still His love is moving.
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens,
and I will give you rest.
Matt. 11:28
This swirl of challenging times is a time when all of us need to hold fast to our hope. It is a choice but also a time to cultivate those ways we might be able to stay faithful. Here are a few ways to keep going.
1. We are all human beings with deep needs for love, affection, hope, encouragement, purpose. The exhaustion of having many of our support systems taken a way, the inability to “self soothe” as babies do, the draining days, one after another, have left most everyone I know depleted. You do not have to feel guilty for feeling discouraged or grumpy. This deep depletion is real. Understanding the battle and what is diminishing us gives us a way to move forward. Pray about how to refuel day by day.
2. Don’t carry extra baggage or unnecessary guilt for being imperfect. We are all going to blow it in life, again and again. Perfection was never expected or possible in this broken world. Jesus wanted us to live fully into His peace and unconditional love every moment, every difficulty. “He is mindful that we are but dust.” But He is there as a sure comfort when we seek Him.
3. Taking care of yourself, determine to focus on those things that will give you more strength and health, (sleep, recreation and exercise, beauty—a bouquet of flowers, beautiful music, a happy, (not sad!) novel or movie—something hopeful; a quiet time to breathe in the love and truth of God’s word, all of these are essential to making it long term.
4. Continue seeking community—friends from afar, friends near by. Take time to talk to your loved ones, pray with one another, eat meals together. Keep the love and conversation going. Tell others of your needs. Bear one another’s burdens. When I reach out to someone, often I am surprised at how much I needed to share my heart and didn’t even realize it.
I have had the privilege of hosting several Bible studies with precious young moms in my home. I love each and every one of them, and they are my dear friends. They give so much and are so very sincere in wanting to do the best they can to love and serve their families. Different stories, different puzzles. Some must work. Some must live alone while their husbands travel. Others are single and alone. Others just wonderfully trying to live with these little ones who want to eat and wear reasonably clean clothes every day and want mama one more time. Often there are children with difficult issues. And of course, many of these families struggle with financial problems. All of these sweet ones are so very precious and their stories matter for eternity.
Over time I have polled my sweet moms, "How many of you have a grandmother or someone in your life who helps you take care of your children, who gives you a break, who is personally taking responsibility to help nurture and disciple your children? How many of you have someone who comes along beside you to help and pray for you?
I was shocked--almost no one--only a very small few out of over a hundred that are in my various groups. This should not be. Where have all the mother's, grandmother's gone? Do they not understand that their grandchildren are also their responsibility--to disciple, a stewardship of their own spiritual lives and influence? That God will hold them accountable for helping raise a godly generation by supporting their own children's call as a family?
I spent most of my years of mothering without support systems, help, prayer or babysitting. Often, I can remember sleeping from exhaustion when I fell into bed, and yet, I would awaken in the wee hours of the morning with brudens of fear, worry, questions about all that I was carrying in my heart and in my life.
I would pour out my heart to God, and one more day, He would take me through. He was my advocate when I had no other. His Spirit kept me going and filled in the cracks that I was not able to. He gave strength and somehow, in spite of all of our own flaws and vulnerable places and immature lives, God saw. He saw me on my knees. He saw my heart that was fearful but wanted to trust. He saw in secret and beyond my expectations, and in spite of my limitations as a mom and wife, He worked.
He still sees and carries me one day at a time. He is my strength, and salvation. But His design was for me and for all of us to have His hands through a community of believers who would help, love, give encouraging words.
I have been up this morning early and prayed for you--you sweet precious ones who feel as though your life is invisible. You are seen. He hears the plees of your weary heart. He longs to sustain you and support you. He who sees in secret will reward openly. I pray you will know peace, rest, beauty in the midst of this very important journey.
I think that all children--the young ones and the adult ones, like me, need an advocate--someone who cares for them personally and who will help them and look out for them. I believe that a mother is supposed to be that--a cheerleader who whispers from behind, "I am on your team. I love you. I will help you. You will make it. I am proud of you."
I am sorry for all of you who are not blessed to have an actual mother who understands that important role in your life. I understand your journey as it was often my own.
But I do want you to know, you have an advocate in Him. His will today is for you to find His joy and blessing and to enjoy life. He is doing an invisible work that is beyond what you could accomplish yourself. He is faithful. He will reward every decision of faith that you make in the darkness when no one else sees, He sees. It is your integrity, your spiritual service of worship, to believe even in the invisible, weary moments of your life. He is with you and has a heart for all children--even you. He is the one who cast the flowers upon the field for his child to enjoy.. He is the one who is willing make all things in your life beautiful in His time.
And I am praying you will know His gentle, generous love for you today. Have a lovely weekend.Wishing I could give each of you a bouquet of flowers!
to all of you sweet, wonderful, sacrificial mamas who give so much to your children.
For all of you who give over and over again, and overcome the weariness.
To the ones who may not feel honored today, but will have rewards in heaven.
For you who are the servant leaders that Jesus understands.
Your lives are not invisible--but so very precious to the one who chose you to be the mother of those sweet ones in your home. I wish you rest, peace and love today! (and a maid and someone to wash your dishes!) You are my heroes!
May your hearts be blessed and filled with an understanding that your love is the best kind of love. May you have a long nap, and a peaceful heart, and an inner sense that you are so very precious.
Today, I thought you might enjoy a care package for yourself. So if you want to enter to win, do the same as yesterday—leave a comment on fb or instagram and you will be entered to win a care package to keep you going.
Sending all of my love,
Sally
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