I'm Drowning: Feeling Small, Insignificant & Invisible

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Tonight I feel small in the scheme of things. The world seems so caught up in the news of Corona Virus, factions, disturbances, impressive people--who has the most numbers, who is the smartest, the most beautiful, the most successful., and what are the most dramatic stories.

What is the loudest voice? The most commanding person. As to grand people…Who is organized and on top of things and has it together? There are some who pretend to have all the answers and who are confident that their way is right.

I cannot compete with those people or with other's standards. Comparing myself to anyone else always brings me up short. I must live happily in my own skin and live faithfully in the story I have been given—my portion, David calls it.

A wise friend said, "Never compare yourself to others because you will either come up short and feel inadequate or you will think yourself greater and be filled with false pride."

So very true.

Be still and know that I am God, He says.

Peace be with you, not as the world gives, He says.

Nothing can ever separate me from your love, He says.

But when I look to His ways, and observe what He has made, and listen to the voice of creation, I see that He has made even the insignificant, a small vibrant red leaf, a thing of glory, beauty to behold, heavenly art in which my heart and soul is amazed. In His hands, the small becomes significant. And so I take hope.

Those who humble themselves will be exalted. The little boy with only 5 fish and loaves fed 5000. The idealistic youth defeated the giant. The poor widow with meager drops of oil,  fed the famous prophet Elijah.

And so, my comfort is not in who I am, or how well I am doing, or in what I accomplish. My strength is in the one who is strong. My miracles are dependent on the God who threw the stars and galaxies into place.

Whatever task is ahead of me, if He is the wisdom for that task, or the strength to complete it or the understanding to show the way, then I know I will find the miracle I need.

Always, this has been my success--He is adequate, I am dependent on Him. I am weak but He is strong.

He, the heavenly Father who created, provided, instructed, saved, redeemed and forgave, and is preparing a place in heaven for me--He is the one who is committed to my well being, He who began a good work will complete it.

And so in my smallness, I find rest, quiet, comfort. It is not my striving that will accomplish His will, but it is in trusting in His provision.

Again, He whispers to me, "Be still and know that I am God."

I am quiet. I listen. I look at what He has made  in all the small corners of my world, and through these glorious works, I am aware of His glory and comforted by His adequacy and strength and I know that all will be well, because He is with me, and He is big enough.

It is in wondering about His gentleness, entering into the imagination of what His heart would speak to me, I find the love and assurance that I need.

Awaking Wonder is an opening our hearts and the hearts of our children to His presence, His gentle love, His patience, His reality amidst the storms of life. Awaken wonder, live into His light and love today.

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