The Secret to Loving Children Well

Too many times I have had to get up early, serve up one last cheesy egg and homemade bread breakfast with strong Yorkshire Gold Tea, only to rush to get suitcases, passports, last minutes clothes and with high adrenalin, drive one of my beloved children to the airport to take off to far away places. The Denver airport is an hour drive door to door from our home, so we always get one more, “I love you,” and “didn’t we have fun,” and “Be careful when you get there,” messages that have been repeated countless times.

My children are truly my best friends and now, mentors. I love spending time with them, the conversations, the shared memories of sitting on the porch after an evening walk to watch the sun go down and to settle the issues of our days.

Yet, I know that in loving them, I have to put them in God’s capable hands and send them out with a “Fly, fly, precious one. Fulfill your destiny, pursue your ideals, your story will be a great one.”

Freedom to live into the possibilities of all that they were created to do. They are not mine to hold on to—they are loaned to me, but they are now living into His purposes, His life for them, His calling. Today, I will share with you what I wrote in my book, Awaking Wonder

“People asked me what our secrets were for influencing our children.

This is the secret:

Loving them well, generously, all the time, in every situation.

Being loved specifically and intentionally adds to our physical well- being, our spiritual equilibrium, our emotional health, but also our mental strength and health.

Probably the most important influence of my whole life in learning to interact in a healthy way with all people, including children, came from pondering Jesus and the way He embodied life-giving influence.

The attitude with which we come to our children will affect much of their response to us as teachers.

We can all see that humans are not thriving, in general. Despair, depression, loneliness, isolation, and rising suicide rates are common plights. But we must see that unless we return to a more humane and personal way of investing our lives, people will continue to grow more troubled, more impersonal, more distant.

To create a life where the hours and moments can be filled in satisfying interaction means that we must choose to fill the time our children could be engaged with machines or other entertainment with planned personal time that satisfies to the depths of their hearts, minds, and souls.

All of us need a place where our roots can grow deep and where we are a part of a like-minded community and have a safe refuge from the storms of life. Home can also give wings to dreams, nurturing possibilities of who we might become.

All homes will have a personality of their own, but part of loving well is planning the life and shaping the character that will define the unique attributes of the family who dwells there.

When a parent makes it a habit to be affectionate to a child in a way that accompanies their personality needs, there is an automatic connection. … affection is a sure sign of closeness and preference that often softens the instruction of a parent to a child.

As we evaluate how to love our children and students well, we must ask ourselves, ‘Do they believe and feel I have their best interests in mind, or do they think I have my own agenda for them?’ ‘Do they understand that even though they struggle, I am here to help them succeed?’ ‘Is their heart open to my instruction, or is there a wedge of resistance that I need to figure out and address?’”

—Sally Clarkson, “Awaking Wonder: Opening Your Child's Heart to the Beauty of Learning”

I will be talking about so much more in an online conference I hope you will be able to attend. Be sure to pre-register in case the conference fills to capacity.