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“Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?”
Romans 2:4
Daily, I look for ways to develop peace and quiet in my heart amidst the constant demands of life and the ever present people who live with me. The canal near my home is a favorite place I walk to restore this peace of heart from which I respond to others. Isn’t it beautiful? The older I am the more I see my inadequacies, selfishness and propensity to behave in an immature way. It has led me to have more mercy, compassion, and patience with others, especially my children—that which I so need and desire.
I love this verse—It shows the real nature of our Godl—he shows riches of kindness, tolerance and patience—and it is His kindness that leads us to repent.”
Understanding this will change your heart and from there, change your behavior to others. When you know how much you long for someone to be patient with you, and how soothing and heart opening it is for others to be kind, patient with you—it will change your attitude and behavior towards your children.
A young mom sat across the table from me, steaming coffee in hand, head bowed. “I just don’t know what to do,” she said. “My child just won’t obey. Her toys are always spread all over the house, even though I tell her to clean them up. She won’t go to bed when I tell her to. And every time she refuses to obey, I get more and more angry. There was a lot of yelling in my house when I was little, and I hated it. But now …” she shook her head, a tear slipping down her cheek. “I’m doing the exact same thing I hated so much. Yelling! And I can’t figure out how to stop. I’m an awful mom! And the guilt is just overwhelming. Maybe I shouldn’t have ever had children.”
I shook my head and reached my hand across the table to cover hers. “No. That’s just not true,” I reassured her. “I know what it’s like to lose your temper. All mothers get frustrated and lose their patience from time to time. No one likes out of control anger or yelling—parents or children. But being frustrated at your child is normal. It doesn’t mean you are a failure—you know from your experience that it is wrong to yell our of anger!”
But, the more you can mother from rest, peace, a grid that has experienced God’s grace and unconditional love, the less you will feel defeated, the more your child will learn how to respond to you.
I wish someone had told me when I was younger how often I’d fail, be tempted to feel guilty, have a feeling that it was all up to me—and how useless that feeling would be to me, long-term! Today, Misty Krasawski and I are talking about how finding grace in our lives and extending that grace to our children brings healing to our hearts —and theirs! Do our children know from experience that it is our kindness, tolerance and patience that will lead them to repentance? I hope you’ll enjoy our conversation.
