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Friendship is the greatest of worldly goods. Certainly to me it is the chief happiness of life. -
A friend loves at all times.
Prov. 17:17
Just the other day, I was looking at old photos and found a favorite from some friends I used to spend a weekend a year with at the beach before or after our California conference—I could never have made it through all the years without my sweet friends.
Chapter 2 of my book, 10 Gifts of Heart, focuses on friendship and the ways we encourage our children to be good friends. It is an essential gift we give to our children, to pass on to them the grace of building strong relationships, learning the skills of reaching out, affirming, cultivating an environment where friendships can flourish. Yet, to become a good friend, to cultivate relationships is something that is learned and a skill that is developed over years. It is one of the most important skills we can give to our children. The ability to be a good companion and friend affects our friendships, our relationship with neighbors and co-workers, our marriage, our parenting. Life is relational and cultivating skills to that end is something essential.
We were all made for community, to belong, to feel supported and cared for by a group of people we call our own. A longing to be understood, accepted as we are, warts and all, prayed for, and having someone to share life with—friendship! Friendship was meant to be one of the sweetest parts of human life. And yet, it is often a source of struggle for everyone I know! Wisdom in friendship is a value to treasure and will serve us and our children their whole lives. Today’s podcast is filled with ideas about how to cultivate friendships in an isolationist world.
As sun set, casting shadows around our kitchen as I made dinner, my little girl walked in slowly and sat at the kitchen counter. Tears welled up in her round, tender eyes as she put her elbows on the counter and held her face in her hands.
“Mama,” she started, and it all came tumbling out. “I thought that Christians were supposed to be different.
I can’t believe my friend would lie to me and then get mad at me for talking to her about it. It just doesn’t seem fair!”
The whole story eventually came out through stops and starts of tears and sniffles. The cause of my little one’s woe was a very close friend who had gotten angry, yelled harsh words, and stomped out when Joy tried to talk to her about a sensitive issue. I came around the counter and held my heartbroken daughter closely, helping her to wipe her eyes.
“How about we have a cup of tea together and talk about it?” I asked.
With candles lit a few minutes later, hot chocolate-chip cookies ready to be dunked in milk, and tea steeping, I sat down with my sweet girl as she settled in on the couch. …
