One of the best gifts of my life was that an older woman took it upon herself to be my friend and to encourage me. Her surprise birthday tea last summer was a perfect send off to me as I prepared to go to Oxford. She taught me how important it was to have mentors who called you to your best self. I was happy some years ago to see how this advice played out in the lives of my children.
Many years ago, Nathan and Joy and I attended a national actors, singers, and dancers competition where the kids competed in a number of events. One of the perks of the competition was that the kids got to meet with real Hollywood producers, agents, and record companies, as well as some directors and marketers from Broadway.
A poised woman, perfectly styled blonde curls, large blue eyes, and sophisticated clothing was the evaluator for a performance in music and acting. She was a Broadway producer who wrote an evaluation after performances. With a poised demeanor and gentle tone, the experienced woman said,
"You are indeed quite naturally talented at acting and communicating. However, what you need the most is to be surrounded by people who are more talented and more experienced than you, who will challenge you to move further ahead in your skills. It is always wise to put yourself in the company of others who are more excellent than you."
What great advice, and how needed in the lives of my children at the time! I have adopted this principle in my own life for many years. When I read, "He who walks with the wise will be wise" in Proverbs, I began to look for those friendships and acquaintances with women who challenged me to be "more" than what I already was. I seek out excellence in most arenas in my life--not because I have it together, but because I always want to be growing.
Cultural voices tell us that we deserve a break, that it is okay to compromise. Standards of life for most people are quite mediocre. These voices give us permission to rest on the laurels of whatever we’ve already accomplished, and to stay complacent.
Yet, I believe if we understand that we have an amazing capacity and call to be like Christ, hard working, bright, authoritative, influential--because we are crafted in the very image of God to be like Him, then we will always be straining, in a positive way, to become all that He created us to be and to fulfill our capacity in life.
Intentionally placing ourselves in the company of other excellent people; reading inspiring and challenging books, studying scripture in depth, practicing anything in which we would like to become more excellent, will expand our capacity to accomplish great works in our lifetime.
God disciplines us, stretches us, and trains us that we might become more like Jesus--so our hearts might reflect more of His sacrificial life and love and when someone sees us, they will be looking at the very character of Jesus. He delights in using normal, run-of-the-mill people to do great things for His kingdom. Rarely did He choose "important" people to be the ones who experienced a miraculous life.
So, how about you? What kind of woman do you want to be when you grow up? What can you read this summer to better your mind? What can you do to shore up your weaknesses? How can you stretch yourself to become more of the woman Christ created you to be?
It is only in being intentional and purposeful about your life that you will grow. And in growing, your heart and soul will become more fulfilled, because God's will, which is that we become more "holy"--set apart for His purposes--is indeed good and acceptable and perfect.
No one but you can make you more excellent--you must want it and work for it yourself!
So, start a group, join a Bible study, make up a new exercise plan, develop a skill, take some lessons, meet with a mentor--make this summer one of growth, stretching and inspiration so in a few months you will be amazed at the progress you have made, and in conquering one or two areas of growth, others will also fall into place.