Long ago, reading “The Door in the Wall” by Marguerite de Angeli, captured my imagination. Then, when I walked through Oxford, and I began to see such doors everywhere. The walls are to protect those inside from the onslaught of dangers in the world from coming in uninvited. The door was to provide the few who were safe, beloved, trusted individuals a way into the place of sanctuary and a way for those who were prepared for the outside world to foray out for life matters.
Such a door gave me an imagination for parenting. We are to provide safe sanctuaries and places of beauty and life-giving for those inside our doors. And a place for the influence of the outside world to enter when deemed appropriate.We provide doorways for their hearts to all that is good, true, beautiful.
Little ones take in all facts as truth. That is why we protect them when they are young until they have developed strong values based on truth, beauty, righteousness and goodness. They do not need to see all the horrific things happening in the world when they are too young to bear it. As they grow stronger, we walk with them to help them develop muscle for coping. Then we open the world of home to other influences little by little, walk into the world side by side with our children to help them learn how to manage to flourish in the outside world.
Lifegiving parenting is not a program to implement in your home or a set of principles and practices to say and do. It’s not a formula, a ritual, or a set of rules. It is a way of living. From one perspective, it is like building and cultivating a Christian home—creating a structure and atmosphere in which the Spirit of God can work to bring the life of God to you, and through you to your children. To consider how the life of God gets into your home, I think it might be helpful to consider an illustration about a house, which has only a limited number of openings where things can come in.
The primary way the life of God gets into your home is through doors. There are numerous symbolic doors in Scripture, especially in the New Testament—doors of faith, judgment, and opportunity. Jesus calls Himself “the door” to salvation (John 10:9). But perhaps the most picturesque door is in Revelation 3:20: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.” Jesus is speaking to “those whom I love” (3:19), asking if He can come in and sit down at their table with them to eat.
As parents, you want to be sure that door is open in your home, that Jesus is invited into every bit of life, rhythms, relationships. . It is, of course, the door to eternal life in Christ, but it is also the door to welcome the love of God in the person of Christ. Remember, too, that Jesus said, “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” ( John 13:35). So keep your doors open for others whom He loves and who love Him; they will bring Christ’s life in with them. Lifegiving parents open the doors of their homes to Christ and His followers to let the love and life of God in.
