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“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” -C.S. LEWIS
Tea Time Tuesday: Thoughts from my past, from Austria.
“Oh, Lord! Please provide! I really need you to provide!” I found myself desperately uttering this prayer in my mind before my eyes had even opened. It was one of those times in life when I couldn’t see past tomorrow. I had four grown children with adult worries, a dear overworked husband, and a diminishing bank account. At that moment, my prayer was for the needs of one of my children’s university tuition. Over and over again I had seen God work, but at that point, after a year that felt like a boxing match, I found the eyes of my heart couldn’t see around the bend in the road.
I believe all come to the moment where we can’t see around the next corner. In fact, in my life, there have been too many such times to count. It is at those crossroads that our claim to “have faith” begins to mean something for the real, practical, present world we live in.
When I was a young believer, I pictured faith as something like the enthusiastic hand-raising worshippers I saw at youth conferences. As I grew, I saw that faith more often looks like the quiet trust and sincere outpouring of a heart before God. It is most visible at moments of crisis, death, hurt, need, new beginnings.
It comes at the moment when we are faced with a choice to fully trust God or the world, to give in to despair, or trust in God to take us beyond what we can imagine and see.
I'd rather be a risk taker, live by faith, believe that He is here present than to let fear of what might happen (or fear of failure, or fear of what people might think) squeeze the life and childlikeness of my believing and hoping out of me, to cause me to do nothing at all.
I do not want to be the one who hid what I had in the ground and find a frown on His face because I was afraid to do anything. I can always ask for forgiveness if I am wrong, admit that I am falible, but how few years I have on this earth to say, “I believe though I cannot see. I trust though I don't understand. I am your girl. I will bring your light into dark places. I know you are with me. I know that though I am weak, you are always with me, you will redeem.” I would rather be a risk taker…
More on today’s podcast: recipes, composers, books, and history.