“Always to be gentle toward everyone.” Titus 3:2
We all long for gentleness and grace.
Perhaps before I became a wife, or parent, I assumed, I would be able to be mature, healthy, loving, successful at these relationships. Conflict in my own heart and life, the stress of living with so many needs, so many constant demands, showed me my selfishness.
I longed for mercy, but especially for gentleness. I wanted to be understood--that I had a heart to be good at these relationships but sometimes I just couldn't—my own selfishness got in the way. I meant to be patient, giving, loving, but I had my limits. As an idealist and “feeler” heart, I wanted compassion and sympathy, but especially a gentle response—not anger and condemnation.
And so did my children and husband—and all were different, all pushed my buttons in different ways. It was through my different children, the demands of everyday life, that I learned the need for gentleness, that I craved another chance—again.
Where does a woman find the ability to be gentle, to show mercy, understanding, compassion?
When she understands that her heart is selfish, prone to making bad choices, limited in patience, and just beginning to understand what love requires. She understands that she herself is fragile; she will extend the grace she wishes to receive to others she loves, because they, too, are fragile and want gentleness and mercy.
If a woman understands that others, like her, are going to make mistakes, have accidents, show the dark heart of sin, she will not condemn them harshly for being so.
Instead, from a heart that knows she does not deserve the grace and love of Jesus, but receives it nonetheless, she will extend her patience, mercy and gentleness to others to show them the real heart of Jesus.
She will still teach, train, correct as Jesus did, knowing that gentleness and compassion come from a humbled heart.
Showing gentleness and mercy comes from a heart that recognizes the need for gentleness and mercy for herself.
In a study about gentleness recently, I found no less than 8 Biblical writers that place gentleness at the core of their call to righteousness.