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“My child, be attentive to my words; to my sayings incline your ear.” Proverbs 4:20-22
When my children’s cell phone numbers come across my texts, or I see they are calling me, I still get so excited. I drop everything because I cherish talking to them, sharing life, encouraging one another, being intimate companions. It is something I treasure.
I think this close relationship started when they were infants. I read everything I could about babies, attachment, care. I stumbled across research that said when babies were attended to quickly upon crying, they learned their needs would be cared for and they would become calmer babies, more responsive, because their brains told them they would be cared for.
After much seeking and praying, I became a mama who nursed on demand. I would hold them with their cheek touching mine and sing lullabies into their ears, while rocking them from side to side, kissing their sweet heads. A couple of my children had bubbly tummies and would take longer to soothe, but still I would hold, kiss, sing, comfort. I was an older mama when I started and so I did fall deeply in love with them, having waited. It doesn’t mean all of my moments were easy or calm, but we moved in that direction.
It was the model of God’s parenting for me, through Christ, that captured my heart in this philosophy. God longed for the companionship of His children. He walked in the garden to be with them.
Jesus came not be served, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, to give his life as a ransom for many.”
He befriended His disciples, fed them, taught them, loved them, modeled faith, healed, spoke comfort and forgiveness. He was attentive to their needs and ultimately sacrificed His life on the cross for them and for us, that we might receive wholeness, forgiveness, eternal life. He was the servant king. I learned to become a servant mama, copying His ways.
And training would happen this way as well. The words wisdom, obedience, love, forgiveness, truth, honor and more were regularly heard day to day.
Immediately responding to a situation that needed some training or instruction, like Jesus, I would teach and train all day — high love, high training. Often, I would hold them close when they would hit another child and saying, “You may only use your hands for gentleness. You may not hit.” And teaching them to ask for forgiveness, and as they were older, writing a paragraph about what they learned in Our 24 Family Ways about forgiveness and how it applied.
They learned to expect love through encouraging words, attentiveness, listening to their words and hearts. I did not do this perfectly, but my ideals led to a pathway of practicing what I believed was the pattern of the love of Christ. My adult children still respond to this sort of love.
Much more on my podcast, At Home With Sally.
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