Dreams at bedtime

Girls Club at the Great Wall

Last night, my two girls and I were on my bed talking of dreams and lives we hope to live as a family. I was covered up--my two girls were tucking me in! It was a bittersweet time for me to listen to their hearts as I know that there are many dreams I have held all of my life that have never yet come true, but I still dream them. And of course, I know that some of their dreams will lead them far from me. But how precious it was to hold this time in my memory when hearts are open and deepest desires shared and we were all snuggled together as I fought to keep my eyes open.

God's will originally was that all women would have the opportunity to get married, to have children (who are by all Biblical means a blessing), and to do their work in harmony with their husbands--to leave a legacy of righteousness, beauty, productivity, and tradition. To, through the family, pass on righteousness and a loving relationship with God for every generation.

Yet, my girls find themselves in a broken world, where few have their values, and many children of their generation have ended up with broken hearts because their mothers lost the heart of God's call on their lives. I would love to say that my girls will have the opportunity to meet godly, righteous men who have a dream of building family influence in their generation. I pray for it every day.

But, as we face another day, I am seeking to give them a heart--a renewed heart for bringing the light and beauty of their hearts into the moments of their lives, to be a witness to the world of those things we have cherished in this life, whatever God's will ends up being in this life for them.

We had a wonderful time at the Denver conference this weekend and feel so stimulated by all the talk and interaction we received. But one sweet woman, in tears, asked me, "How long do you keep praying for some of your dreams to come true and when do you quit and accept God's response as 'no'?"

Well, I can't answer God's will for her life, but I do feel that the older I get, the more childlike I seek to be. There is a temptation in life to become cynical and crusty. Yet, when I studied some of the verses about God's will this year, I was impressed, again, to pursue child-like (not childish) faith--to keep believing my God can do anything; to believe in HIs goodness, to believe in prayer.

And so, I continue sharing my own dreams with Him, I pray for miracles, I pray for Him to do great things in and through the lives of my children, Clay and me. I ask Him to knock down walls, stretch our sphere of influence--because I want everyone to know how personal, responsive and gracious He is. I want, like a child, to not measure my life by what I can provide for myself, but by what He is able to do as I believe in Him and trust Him.

It may be that some of my deep down, inner secret dreams may not be realized until heaven. But I can never imagine a time when I will be able to say, "Now I think God is telling me to live by what I can see and not to have faith anymore."

And so, today, I am writing down in my journal just some of the things He has put on my heart to keep dreaming--and then placing them--and my girl's dreams-- into His lovely, capable hands.