I couldn't sleep last night. The wind outside was fierce and wild and kept me awake. I crept downstairs and got a little bowl of cereal, the kind with almonds and cranberries and I put blueberries and pecans on top, and crawled onto the old, soft comfy couch. I was trying to figure out all that I had to do in the next few days--finishing the notebook for the Mom's Intensive at our house, this weekend. Praying that sweet mama will not die this week as it would lay heavy on my heart during the conference. Wondering about the medical issues that are immediately ahead with one so dear. Knowing I have a book proposal due this Friday. And the list grew.
But, in the midst of the darkness and wind and milk, I had a peace and deep joy in my heart that seemed to carry me above all of the stresses that seem to be piled on my soul plate.
Jesus reminded me that most of all, He matters. Loving Him, resting in Him, seeking His glory, straining to hear His voice.
Then He whispered, I gave you gifts-Sarah, Joel, Nathan and Joy. So, my sweet ones, you really are my treasures. You matter most of all, you are still my priority--every day, my thoughts are filled with you, my whisper prayers fill heaven, because you are never far from my heart thoughts, even in this busy-ness. You are all so very dear to me. I love who you are--you are vibrant, alive, passionate, idealistic, and the miracle is you love Jesus so very much and you still love Daddy and me, too. And so you are my priority today and I have prayed for you.
And then there is Clay-Daddy--partner through it all, strong, dependable, sitting in his leather chair and guiding us all with endless intuitive thoughts, ideas; our resident acoustic music man, chasing us all through the details of life and keeping us organized, passing on thoughts of God at Sunday morning feasts--my best friend.
Yes, I do have so very much on my life plate this week, and always more to do, but in this moment, this dark summer night, my heart is filled because of the blessing He has given, and I am so very, very grateful to have had the privilege of loving and caring for you. I love you.
mama
Now, my mind is more at rest, my heart is deeply grateful, my soul at peace again, and I think I will be able to go back to sleep.