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Sometimes, we all need to monkey around a little bit. So doesn't a spa weekend sound dreamy? Just a cup of tea in a lovely hotel lobby can help restore my soul and strengthen my heart to return to my children with more grace.
"It was for freedom that Christ set us free. Therefore, keep standing firm and do not be subject to a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1
In other words, stand firm in your ideals before God without letting someone else's yoke slip around your neck unnecessarily.
"And the work of righteousness will be peace, and the service of righteousness quietness and confidence forever." Isaiah 32: 17
I once read an article that suggested something to this effect: Moms don't really need a break from their children. If you don't spend every moment with your children--if you have any desire to go away and be by yourself, even just occasionally--you are selfish.
These are the kinds of statements that create voices in our heads. "Oh no, I must not love my children because I am not doing life like the others who have written these articles."
I am practically connected to the hip with my children. We are very close. Yet, I am also an introvert, and if I didn' have some time to plan, think, read, and just be away to breathe, I would become more tense. So I had to figure out how to build "me" time into my schedule so that I could fill my own heart before my children drew from it once again. I even get up early to have my own cup of tea in silence and just to sit and "be" before life starts. Others stay up late.
Now, I love my children and I am very committed to family, and I have no wish to step on anyone's toes, but it is statements like this that put lots of burden and law on women, making them feel guilty unnecessarily. Each woman has a different personality and different needs.
A wise woman manages her life so that she can live her ideals longer.
Motherhood is a very long term calling and I think all women need the encouragement of other women that they should not feel guilty for taking a break once in awhile when they are in need of some breathing room! Sometimes Clay would plan leaving me alone in my home a couple of Saturdays a month so I could stay at home alone and just "be". I found that the kids loved being just with him, his spoiling of them, his input, a break from "just" mama.
We all want to be wonderful mothers and so statements like the one above come across as universal and sound wise-- but in the end, I have to say, "Is this law? Is it an unshakeable truth that applies to all moms at all times? Or is something else possible?"
Here's the truth I have lived and believe:
There is grace for each mom to conduct her own symphony, so to speak, with her family, circumstances and children in mind.
It says so right there in Galatians 5:1 ...
"It is for freedom that Christ set us free, therefore, keep standing firm that you may not be subject to a yoke of slavery."
Purposeful mothering is a beautiful thing. Moms are called to pour themselves out in servanthood and love in the context of their homes, as I shared in this video ...
He loves our intentional mothering and there is a great reward in it. Yet when it comes to the details, God purposely left many areas in scripture very vague. We find ...
- No lists about exactly how to discipline a child, what sin or behavior requires discipline and which one is age related immaturity, how long to discipline, a list of misbehaviors with corresponding consequences, what to expect of boys, for instance.
- There is no rule book about what a mom should cook if she is really bringing health to her family.
- No chapter and verse to be quoted telling us exactly what music is acceptable and what music would lead a child astray.
- No single passage that describes what it really looks like to submit to every husband--since they are all different and have different preferences!
- No verse that says, "There is only one time a day to have a quiet time as God is more awake in the morning."
- Or, or, or ...
This is part of the reason SarahMae and I teamed up to write our new book, Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe. There is so much in scripture about living by faith and trusting God for His direction. However, Paul and Jesus were both so very clear about not having the heart of a Pharisee; not putting heavy loads on people. We know that we are to use wisdom principles and have quiet times and grow in maturity. Through much study and prayer I came to the conclusion that if I wanted to pass on my life and beliefs and vision to my children, I needed to be the one who invested time in them and won their hearts, out of the integrity of my own heart. But there are many stories and a wide path of creativity that God blesses as we live by faith.
But, seeing my children do well in life and love the Lord and us and continue growing has proven to me that it is not as a result of a list of rules that I followed, because there was no such list! Rather it was a result of following the Lord, praying, obeying Him and seeking His wisdom, seeking to reach their hearts and then living by faith and watching His grace unfold to each of us. Mostly it was about loving them and holding God's hand. God is in charge and will work in and through the personality and circumstances of my life uniquely, if I will walk with Him.
There is great freedom to live your family story within your own personality, history, and imprint, as long as we are holding His hand, reading His word and living by faith!
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$25 of Coffee or Target Yumminess!
Go to your local bookstore and take a picture of you with Desperate (you should buy it while you're there ;). Post that picture to your FB page/profile and then leave a comment on Sarah Mae's post today with the link to your FB page/profile. Everyone who does this will be entered to win a $25 Gift Certificate to either Starbucks or Target (winner's choice). There will be THREE winners!
Today's Giveaway! A Year of FREE Massages!
I am a new comer to massages and oh how they have changed my life.
Ahhhh! Wish I could enter!
The details...
- One year of free massages, once/month
- Once a winner is randomly chosen, a gift certificate will be given to you from Massage Envy or a local spa if you don't have a Massage Envy near you.
- This giveaway is open to U.S. residents only.
Enter the massage giveaway using the form below: