My three jewels currently living at home--Joy, Joel, and Sarah. (at least for these weeks.)
I have learned to have a healthy respect and fear of Mondays! And today gave me more fuel for the fire.
Somehow a demon snuck into our home and stirred up everyone and created a crisis mentality in our home. One child and I had so many issues, tears, discussions and issues again, that I was so exhausted by 5, I just wanted to go to bed then, and was tempted to wonder why I had ever written about being a good mother.
But, when I consider, we were in Boston for 5 days, had graduation parties for 4 nights with Joel. Then home, graduation practice or visiting out of town friends, church, people and kids over for dinner and finally our own personal family Clarkson graduation and dedication last night, I should have known that all of the adrenalin in everyone's bodies would be quite low.
So today, just simple things like emptying the dishwasher, or making a normal comment became a big deal. Everything was exaggerated--every response more extreme than usual. Seemed everything became a big deal.
When my children were little, because we spent all day on Sundays at church, (Clay was a pastor), Mondays were always a challenge--exhausted children, whining, irritation, etc. It was the beginning of learning my lesson that I could not abuse their bodies without paying for it--in other words, if they didn't get naps, ate too much sugar, had too much overstimulation, then I always paid for it. They always told me they had had too much by how they behaved. Still the same, even with reasonably healthy, strong adults in our home now.
These times taught me wisdom and patience--still seem to need to learn more about it. It's where I learned to camp on the verse, "A gentle answer turns away wrath."
How quickly I forget this--my children don't need a lecture when they are tired, they need patience and gentleness until they can get some rest again. Like me, mostly, everyone needs more sleep. What goes up, must come down.Celebration and stauing up too late for too long, means a price of exhaustion eventually will take its toll.
So, I am quite relieved this day is over. We watched a fun hour of a a favorite series, "Larkrise to Candleford." The story was about everyone getting mad at each other, then realizing the issues they battled over were ridiculous and they all apologized.
And so my child looked back at me--I guess we were making a big deal out of nothing, right?
So, finally, this day is about to come at an end and I am grateful and as I have said many times before, I just love my bed. It is my friend.
I am sitting in my reclining chair in my robe and jammies watching my 16 year old studying for her college entrance Algebra test she has to take tomorrow to qualify for college in the fall. Joel is sitting next to her, patiently teaching her, showing her how to do it, whispering in her ear, "God has it all in His hands, Joy. You can't imagine how much I have sweat through entrance exams, tests, papers, concerts, and performances. But, Joy, God was always with me and showed me that He would be faithful every step of the way. No sweat--you are smart. I know you can do this."
At the end of a day, we finally have peace again, and I think I am glad that I am a mom after all and able to see the goodness. It is sweet to see them helping each other. Reminds me of when they were all much smaller, Joel taught Nathan how to ride a bike, how tie his shoes, and so much more. Sarah made dinner tonight while I took a bath.
There are these great moments when you get perspective. The ups and downs, the ins and outs, the bumps and smooth places, all a part of a normal life in a family. But always, I am probably most thankful for the normal days, the rhythms of life that give stability and strength. Glad to have celebrated. Glad to be back to normal.
Thank you, Lord, for grace that covers a multitude of sins. The grace to come back to peace and rest one more time.