What you practice, you will become

A memory bubbled up in my mind this morning when I was reading in my quiet time.........Funny how some things stay with you! FuGrumpy and complaining, carrying around an Eeyore sort of  "chip on her shoulder", a woman in my greater family circles, never ceased to sigh deeply, after almost everything she said. Supposedly a mature believer who had been a "committed" Christian since childhood, she  always made me feel discouraged when I would go to her home as a child. Her spirit depleted those of us who had to spend time with her and also made me feel that it would be easy to disappoint her because everything around her did not meet up to her standards. A funny memory from long ago that was brought back to me from a woman who was recently in my life.

When at home recently, I was having a quiet time with the Lord, and He brought this to mind. I realized that this precious woman had high ideals, but her ideals did not included having a grateful heart. And so, the spirit she cast on all that were in her wake was one of complaining and whining.

In this fallen world of ours, it is very easy to become disappointed with almost everything around us--the media, the television shows, the movies, the lack of morality in our leaders, the economic crisis, people who compromise or are immature and disappoint us, and on and on. Many of us have very difficult circumstances to bear. Others have a terminally ill child. Marriage can be a place of strife and loneliness. Christians and family members can be our harshest critics. Yes, life can be extremely taxing. And, working through these obstacle courses of life can deplete us and has caused me considerable depression at times.

But what we practice on a daily basis when we face these trials, will determine, to some degree the legacy and memory we leave to those who know us well.

All of us must come to the conclusion at some point, that this is the "broken" place. This is the sphere in which sinful men have separated themselves from God's original design. Here, Satan prowls around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may destroy. We should live to expect this as the place of warfare for the kingdom of God, and take up our arms as His soldiers to fight our battles with courage and faith.

But what we practice we will become. If we practice fear--being afraid what life could bring our way; or what may happen to our children at this point in history;  or what if we go under financially;  or what if my child who is learning to drive has a wreck on the freeway; etc., then we will become  even more fearful and frozen in our ability to trust God.

If we practice criticism of others, complaining and seeing others with a judgmental attitude, we will become even more harsh and critical, unloving and self-centered.

If we practice living in guilt and inadequacy, we will become small in our own minds and not enjoy God's grace and unconditional love.

Whatever we water in the souls of our hearts will certainly grow. And if we water these "weeds" in the garden of our souls, they will certainly take over and devastate the crop of faith, love, thankfulness, grace, joy.

And if we practice these attitudes of "sin", our children will certainly follow our lead and become immature in the same areas of our own lives. What we sow, we will indeed reap, in our lives and in theirs.

What do you cherish in your heart and feel the right to engage in? Is is healthy? Is it producing life and peace? Observe and see what you are allowing your heart to engage in, because what you cherish will determine what your heart will produce.

I came to understand that a big part of this battle in a fallen world,  means practicing faith and praise and love and thankfulness. These require a choice on our part. It is a choice of the will to say, "This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

I will look for His presence. I will seek to sow seeds of love. I will choose faith and believing that "He is a rewarded of those who seek Him."

It is the reason I named my blog, "itakejoy". I determined that I would be a person who would look for and cultivate and nurture the joy of the Lord, every day, every moment. It is why I wrote Dancing with my Father, I wanted, like David, to choose to dance with Him, to hold His hand, to look to Him every minute of my life saying, "Where are you in this, my beloved Lord? What do you have for me here? How can I learn? How can I find you here in the darkness. No matter what, I choose to believe you are good."

I had a friend who recently told me that fighting battles came naturally to me. It just doesn't seem like the stresses of life are as big of a deal to you. I definitely struggle with the burdens that are in our lives all the time. Perhaps people think I am naturally a Pollyanna.

But every day, in my battles of life, and there are many, I believe that if I really want to please God, then every day, I need to practice faith, grace, love. Not that I am perfect in them, but my choosing to submit my will to the Holy Spirit, trains my spirit to see Him more, to understand how much He gave to spare His life for me, and to learn what a cost He paid for me when He gave freely of Himself, though I, and nobody deserved it.

I am hoping that years and years of making "joy" choices, will produce in me, the quality of joy, so that I will be consistently an encourager, one who gives joy, one who pleases God more an more.

And so I see life through this grid, "What am I going to choose today, so that I may please Him? See life through His eyes? What am I practicing, that I may in my lifetime become more like Christ?"

So, this morning, in my time with the Lord, He very clearly asked me, "What are you becoming more of today?"

Hopefully, less critical, more joyful and freer to enjoy the life He has provided. Selah.

Today, I will take the time to.......

My precious little children, all grown up. Sarah, Nathan, Joy and Joel.

Today I have been bustling around town, treasure hunting for mouth-watering treats, rousing games, intriguing movies, and anything that I think would add to soul-deep memories of my family. The Clarksons are traipsing off to the mountains this weekend, Breckenridge to be exact. We associate this place with family, hilarity, hiking, outdoor jacuzzis under the stars in 25 degree weather and years of investing in these places and these traditions together, when all were younger and we were a whole family, all together. There is not much time these days to get everyone together, and so we make the time for each other, intentionally, especially in the midst of our busyness to say, "I need time alone with just family," in the midst of all the other activities of this stage of life.

But this time, only the girls will be with Clay and me. I will miss my tall, young idealistic boys who are out to make their way in the world. As I have been driving to all the stores on my list, I was reflecting on what I would do if I had it to do over again--to make sure they all really heard and experienced the messages my heart, that  wanted to imprint on theirs.

I would stop in the midst of my chores to listen to a boy-joke being shared and I would laugh out-loud and tell them they were so much fun.

I would stop unloading the groceries when my husband is talking to me and look deeply into his eyes and listen to what he is saying, communicating with my whole self, "You are such a treasure to me. I want to know what you are thinking and feeling and dreaming."

I would take the moment to tossle a head as I am passing through a room and say, "I am so blessed to have you as my very own child. You make me so happy, just being you."

I would stop what I am doing, to go outside to look at a "treasure" when I hear, "Hey, Mama, come look!"--an apple blossom blooming on our very first apple tree or a worm on the grass or whatever had capture their curiosity.  I would camp more outside on our deck and cuddle up under the sleeping bags more often to marvel at the stars and the one who made them.

I would open my eyes to take a snapshot of today--just as it is--with boy noises, loud discussions, toys being played with intently, piano being practiced, thoughts being shared, messes coming and going..

Instead of giving advice when a child is opening their heart through tears, I would listen with a sorrowful, sympathetic heart and take seriously what they were feeling, instead of mentally planning that the clothes in the dryer need to be folded.

I would laugh more, worry less, lecture only on rare occasions, overlook messes instead of wasting my time being neurotic, notice the fingerprints of my maker in the moments of my days, and cherish those few years when we were all home, together, being the Clarksons and celebrating life.

So, this weekend, as we getaway in the mountains, I will engage my heart in storing up pictures of the precious ones still here. I will listen, love, wash dishes and mugs happily and live fully in the few moments remaining before this season flies quickly into another season, and I will never be able to live this day well again.

And I will email my boys and "I love you and miss you" note, to tell them how very much they mean to me, how I believe in them and in their futures--which do have a hope, and how blessed I am to have them as my very own sons.

A Mission, a Mom Heart and Great Giveaway Part 2

Leon Augustin Lhermitte

"The wise woman builds her house, the foolish woman with her own hands tears it down." Proverbs 14:1

Surprised by Falling in Love with my Calling!

After growing in a vision for my home, I read everything I could get my hands on, that would encourage me in this ministry of motherhood. There were quite a few bumps and learning curves to adjust  to being home and to embrace this call from God wholeheartedly. My heart slowly began to come alive as I understood the artistry involved in building a life-giving environment in my home through music, art, feasts and celebrations, training in character, reading stories of great heroes, exposing my children to places of travel, discussing great ideas, creating beauty and creativity in my home. . Educating myself as I read thousands of hours of great literature to my children was a rich pleasure that filled my own mind with profound inspiration. Sharing daily from my own study of God's word  and spending time intentionally teaching these hungry minds with the truth of scripture and watching their little souls come alive gave deep satisfaction to my soul.

Falling in love with family, home, children, heritage and the life of 6 human beings in harmony as we moved through our days brought grace and deep fulfillment I had not expected. Conducting the moments of our day and leading them to excellence, civility, joy and deep, shared love expanded the meaning and purpose of my own life. Indeed I found that God's design for my home and family was what I was created to implement and execute within the freedom of my own personality and interests.

Starting a Publishing Company

Clay and I began being asked to speak on these subjects all over the United States. We started our own publishing company, Whole Heart Press and went 5 years without a real salary, scrimping and getting odd jobs--selling homemade cinnamon rolls, singing and acting in a local 6 month a year play (our whole family was in this and made $600 a month!) and somehow, with God's help, our ministry began to grow. With 10 books and discipleship materials, and our books in 5 languages, we have seen God take our faith and work and begin to restore to many moms a sense of His call on their lives. It has been so exciting to see God raise up so many like minded women who have the same call to help us reach out to women all over the world. A team working together is so exciting!

Mom's Conferences

Yet, there were those days I thought I had lost my mind! In my mid-40's with 3 older children, then 3 miscarriages and finally a sweet baby just before I turned 42, I found life a little daunting and overwhelming."Moms need a conference just for them, where they can be inspired and loved and spoiled with a great meal, a nice hotel room, chocolate and grace-filled messages--no guilt, just all love and encouragement." And so began our first Mom's conference in Texas. Now these 13 years later, we have hosted conferences in places all over the world and thousands of moms have been inspired and trained and encouraged.

So many moms said, "I don't know what I am doing! No one is there to show me how to enjoy and embrace this call!" "I can feel so alone! Being at this conference makes me feel like I am a part of thousands of moms like me who are changing the next generation all over the world." Since I had felt the same way, I began to write the kinds of books I wished had been there for me--Seasons of a Mother's Heart, Mission of Motherhood, Ministry of Motherhood, The Mom Walk, Dancing with my Father.

Mom Heart Leadership Intensive Training

Fast forward and Clay and I began to realize we wanted to train, inspire and build other women into speakers, writers, bloggers and Bible study teachers--raising up an army of women all over the world, who could start groups to encourage, help and inspire moms. I also wanted women to taste real homemade food, see our children's books and look over our library, relax and rest in our home, experience our hospitality, know the love of like-minded women in a more personal setting. Hearing truth is one thing--but to experience it is quite another reality--and I wanted moms to know these aspects of a life-giving home first hand, and so my friends and I attempted our first Leader's training in my home and my friend's home with 52 women from all over the United States, Canada and China. It was like a camp for Moms! (Look for the video of this on my next blog--a sweet  young man, 13 years old, made this video after walking around interviewing moms!)

Single moms, working moms, homeschooling moms, mothers of preschoolers and college age--all from different backgrounds and calls of life, but all here to celebrate the Divine Call of Motherhood.

New Adventures Ahead! And a Giveaway!

Now, we are entering into a new phase of our ministry--and you can help us! We want to see God literally raise up women all  over the world to be a part of a sweeping revival of family values, marriage, and a love for children and giving them a sense of godly heritage--an army of committed, loving, spiritually alive, warriors for Christ's kingdom, Moms!

So, we enter into this conference season with "Your Mom Heart Matters" as a theme and we are hoping to reach more women everywhere to be encouraged, to start groups in their churches and homes and to be a part of helping women to build strong foundations in their home with great accountability by cultivating fellowship with like-minded moms!

This year, I will be casting a vision for the Biblical and significant call of mothers in this generation. Messages both practical and inspirational will fill your heart. There will be wonderful music, a great luncheon, workshops that give lots of practical ideas about how to have a life-giving home, giveaways and a great book table with hundreds of choices. For the first time, you will be hearing stories and ideas from lots of other moms just like you. We are inviting our moms from the mom heart intensive to share some of their best ideas with you, as well as a few other moms who have great mom blogs. We will address the importance of all moms finding God's grace and freedom and forgiveness in their own lives, also educating their children, no matter what educational choices one makes; traditions in the home, discipleship of hearts and finding fellowship with moms to provide fun, refueling and a prayer partner. You won't want to miss this special year of conferences.

Please help us get the word out for our conferences coming up!

We are going to give away 4 free registrations for the Mom Heart Conferences. Two now and two at another giveaway later in December. (If you win the drawing and are not able to come to the conference, you may give it away to a friend or you will receive a $50 coupon to use on any book, dvd, or tape series from 12 years of previous conferences.

There are several ways you can enter!

1. Put the Mom Heart Button on the side of my blog bar into your own blog, facebook page, facebook wall post or website, and you will receive an entry.

2. Write a short blog article (not just listing it in your sidebar) and you will receive one entry.

3. Twitter about the conferences coming up and you will receive one entry.

4. Advertise it to your local support group, church group, homeschooling group and receive one more entry.

Fill out the form at: http://www.wholeheart.org/giveaway-signup/ to let us know what you have done and we will tally your entries. We will do the first drawing December 15.

We are so very grateful for all of you who have helped us get the word out in the past  and we hope we can get the word out soon to moms all over, who need encouragement and inspiration.  Many dads have given this weekend every year to their wives for Christmas. Your help keeps this ministry alive. Blessings upon blessings to each of you today!

PS If you leave a comment on this blog about the conferences, I will give you one more entry! :)

A Mission, A Mom Heart, and a Great Giveaway! Part 1

Warsaw, Poland, 1979, Ala, now director's wife of all of Campus Crusade Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Countries. Gosia, wife of director of Poland, and then all of Russia for many years, her sweet sister who is now with the Lord and me, who had the privilege to be a small part of training them.

"All authority has been given to me in heaven and in earth. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, and teach them to observe all that I commanded you, and lo I am with you always." Matthew 28:18-20

As a young woman, starving for love and purpose, when a stranger shared Christ with me, as a freshman in college, I knew that I had found my life purpose and my God. He flooded my heart  HIs unconditional love that he offered  to me as His child. I understood very early in my Christian life, that being a Christian and follower of Christ would require my whole life--not just Sundays, or Christmas or Easter--but all of me for all of my life.

Becoming a believer in the Lord Jesus, was a calling to His ways and His priorities,  not just salvation to serve me when I died. And so I was taught at a very idealistic time in my life, my years as a college student, to love as Jesus loved (those God brought into my life), to see as Jesus saw (He looked out on the multitudes and had compassion on them) and to do as Jesus did--to go into the world to redeem those who didn't know of His great love and redemption and purpose. I was "all in."

After spending 2 years working with college students, I was asked to move to Eastern Europe when it was still Communist, to "Make Disciples." And so for 3 years, I was a single missionary and worked in Austria, Romania, Hungary, Poland, Yugoslavia, and the Czech Republic. I eventually moved into Warsaw to help train our first two Eastern European staff women so that they could be involved in a movement to their own countries. (These women listed above.)

It was an amazing time of seeing God open doors to many who became Christians and began to have a profound impact on their countries for Christ. I learned that when a normal person comes to the Lord and says, "Here are my fish and loaves. Use me wherever you can," amazing results will come about, beyond our own limited abilities. I was so very young and immature, but sincere and passionate. So  meeting with students and sharing all that was on my heart, I saw God mold women into godly leaders, who eventually were used to influence the lives of thousands of other women in numerous foreign countries. His using the "small ones"  to confound the darkness. And so this would become a paradigm when I learned to apply this principle of faith in the discipleship in my home.

My precious friend, Gwen, and I, in Krakow, Poland,in 1978, praying for disciples!

A PARADIGM SHIFT

Fast forward. After cutting my teeth on teaching and training adults in these countries for a total of 6 years, I got married to a spiritually excited man who was also committed to ministry. Our heart was always, "Lord, show us where you want us to go to share Christ, to teach the word, and to help believers mature in their faith and in their calling to bring your kingdom to reflect in their lives."

Because, I (we)  had been involved in missions, teaching and speaking and working with adults all over the world, I assumed the Lord would send us into a large international city, again to work with leadership development. But, long story short, the Lord told us there was a "people group" that was being neglected--a group so very important to Him.

CHILDREN

Scripture started sticking out to us as we prayed for God to bless us with children."Children are a gift from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward." Psalm 127

"And He blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth." Genesis 1

"And He said, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." Matthew 18: 3-5

When, upon returning to the United States, Clay and I lived in California, we saw this neglected group first hand--children. Slowly, the philosophy of the 60's and 70's sexual revolution and break down of families, abortion became an accepted choice, feminism and the independence of women and their need to have equal pay,  left children somewhat as victims of many sweeping changes in our culture.  Children were being aborted at an astounding rate, or given up to day care as infants, being pulled apart as divorce went up to 50%; dragged around from one set of partners to another in "free love" partnerships; eventually, 39% of all babies born would be to single mother families where a father was not even present. They were considered burdens, that took time and money, and yet their eternal worth and magnificent design were undermined and shoved to the side of mainstream life. People would never have voiced this as the intent of their hearts, but Christians were being swept in the current of a river of contemporary humanistic values along with the rest of the world.

It seemed to us that everyone else had someone to champion their cause: women, minorities, persecuted peoples, refugees--and yet children, the hope of the future, the very soul and life of the adults of the next generation--were being thrown aside to fend for themselves, unprotected and undervalued--even in Christian arenas. Of course Satan would love to devalue children, the very ones who were made in the image of God.

We knew instinctively in our hearts, that just as one would never expect seeds thrown into the wind to become a beautiful garden, so children thrown to the winds of a humanistic, self-centered, atheist, materialistic culture would not become healthy, growing human beings if they were tossed into the winds of culture, un-nurtured, unprotected and unguided.

A NEW KIND OF MINISTRY

God seemed to whisper into my ear, "I want you to leave "the ministry"--a fruitful, exciting, speaking and leadership ministry to adults and stay home to learn the foundational "ministry of motherhood." The Lord clearly impressed Clay's heart, "Build a ministry to train parents how to view their family as the most important ministry they would be held accountable for in heaven."

This was the ministry arena in which He would direct us and where He wanted us to work.

It all happened very suddenly. At almost 31, holding in my arms, a miracle, crafted inside of me, a soul that would last for eternity, placed our hands as a stewardship, I was deeply transformed forever. Baby Sarah was fragile, dependent and would look to us to whisper into her heart and mind the secrets of the kingdom of God, to teach her true foundations about God, His design for her life, her place in the world.

Sarah now!

But we also understood, that we would be held responsible for the education of her mind by exposing her to the best thinkers in the world; to give her emotional health and a clear understanding of how to be a godly friend by showing her the loyal, healthy love of marriage and family; and to train her to the strategic roles of  wife, mother; to train her character to allow her to have integrity and a work ethic and experience at ministry first hand. ---

Any great work always requires great sacrifice and a commitment of time and attention. And so such an investment would be required to  give our little child the best we could give, to prepare her to be strong in her world for Christ--that she could also be one who would preserve righteousness in her lifetime. And so it became our foundation for the next three precious ones that God placed into our lives and home--a new kind of call to disciple and build world leaders who would invest their lives for God's kingdom--Family Discipleship.

The Holy Spirit revealed to me that my service of worship to God, was  to stay at home and build disciples and leaders for the next generation in my very own home. And to learn the ways of His wisdom and to practice integrity so that in His time, it would become a message of my heart and one that He gave me from His heart.

STAY TUNED FOR PART 2!

What a grumpy 2 year old, a hormonal teen and an overwrought mom have in common

"So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone, just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity." Colossians 3:12-14 Committed motherhood is for me a holy calling of God. I believe that I am a steward of my children given by Him to me, entrusting me to love, instruct them, train them, provide for them in such a way, that they may go into their adult lives emotionally healthy, loving God and serving His Kingdom purposes.

But there are times when, seemingly out of the clear blue sky, I spew all over my children and it isn't a pretty sight. The life-venom of giving, serving, cleaning, cooking, correcting, staying up late, putting up with messes, consumes my patient feelings and slowly depletes my rational, mature brain cells, builds up slowly inside  and suddenly takes over and spills anger over to  everyone in my wake. I always feel terrible when I have raged about. Chastising myself for hours, I curl up in a dark cloud and wonder why I even try.

I do not need a lecture from someone telling me I have been immature, out of control, unreasonable and unloving. I already know that. No one needs to tell me I have acted in an immature way and that my words hurt the hearts of those I love.

But, what I long for, is gentleness, patience--someone to tenderly place their arms around my shoulders, to look into my eyes with the compassion of understanding how I feel, words of "Grace, sweet one, you are forgiven. All will be well," is what I really need.

Longing for a magical wand that can wipe away the moments when I irrationally became a fount of harshness and anger is what I really wish I had--to make it all go away.

Wishing for  another mom who says, "You are not alone, I am guilty of raging in the tempests of my own life, and yet, when I went to my children and asked for forgiveness, they were ready to extend their love to me and to redeem our relationship once more."

And then I need a maid, a waitress and a day away to be an adult again, but that is not in the budget of my minutes and days. Instead, I will be comforted with...

Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, as Paul so eloquently wrote.

And so, I have observed my little toddlers, exhausted, over-stimulated, wrapped in a cloud of selfishness, who fall apart in fits of screaming. I am not talking about the normal minutes of the days when they need training, correction and guidance. I am speaking of those absolutely beyond rational thinking--meltdowns.

A warm, blanky embrace, wrapped in arms of love and a softly sung, whispered words of love, a rocking chair moment of grace, a cool, soothing sip of juice--this is what is deeply longed for and needful to a heart out of control.

And then there are the moments in the lives of my teens when they seem to erupt, attitudes all over everything normal--"Everyone eats too much in this house! If they didn't eat so much, we wouldn't have such a mess of dishes in the sink,"--as they slam around the kitchen. Or just an emotional eruption with unkind words, glances that could kill, dark clouds that seem to hover.

I have found that "a gentle answer turns away wrath." Like me, these precious children do not need to be told that they are being mean-spirited and unkind. They already know that. Perhaps, like me, the trials of life, the challenges, the burdens of school and chores, the insecurities of trying to fit in with an ocean of other teens seeking to find their footing, seeking an unsure future, and the raging of new hormones--all of these overcame them and they also spewed.

This is a time when, "I love you, appreciate you, understand. You are acceptable, I believe in you. You are not all "bad" but you had a bad day. I am so glad you are mine," words of kindness and compassion are needed.

At times like these, putting on a heart of love, will bring us back to a perfect bond of unity. Love will heal, love is the answer and the balm and the grace to keep going. Love through a mug of hot chocolate or tea, a written note of "I am so glad you are mine. I love you." A moment to laugh, love, share tears and restore--these are the deepening moments of bonding forever to hearts that bear the compassion of Christ.

These are the moments when true hearts are knit together--Oh to be known, truly known, in all of our limitations, and to still be loved--that is soul satisfaction.

Love is patient, love is kind, love is not selfish,.......................

As a father has compassion on his children.....

God will show His faithfulness in my life and in my children's lives, not by my works, but by His faithfulness, His generosity, His grace and my heart to trust in Him to be who He really is to me and to them. It is all His grace and initiation to promise to provide. I will never do it all, get it all right, or complete every task. He is working beyond my abilities and strength. It is His strength and His work that will complete the tasks of my life--my work in marriage, in my children, in my ministry--all become possible because of His work in through and beyond me. Rest In Him and in His strength and find peace.

Community, friendship and belonging--so needed, such a balm

“You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” Winnie the Pooh

My sweet group taking the last 24 hours away at a prominent hotel in a suite of rooms just to make time to treasure the friendship God has given to us and to keep the fires of our close relationship to each other burning. (Sweet Micala, we missed you and prayed for you!)

Arranging babysitting and rides for our children to all of their activities was quite a feat, but here is the rest of the story........

God created us to be his friends, as Moses was. He was walking in the garden to share fellowship with Adam and Eve. He communicates over and over in scripture that He mostly desires our love and our time. God created marriage because it wasn't good for Adam to be alone. He gave Adam and Eve children as a model for families--that children would give purpose and meaning and relationship to a man and women in the blessing of them becoming a family. Jesus chose 12 disciples to be with him, for community, for living, teaching, training and preparing to take over reaching the world. He wanted/needed/chose friends through whom He would work in the world, though He could have gotten the message of his love and redemption out in any way He chose. He chose 12 committed men who would become friends and comrades in kingdom work.

And so it is that we have been created for relationship, friendship, belonging to a group bigger than ourselves. It is a part of our being, our design, what we were made to enjoy.

And yet in an isolationist world, we find ourselves, I think, by Satan's design, lonely, not knowing our neighbors, feeling unknown in our mega churches, far away from family, and very different in values, faith, age and interest from most of our neighbors. If Satan can get us alone and unaccountable, then we fall prey to depression, feelings of being unloved, sensing a hole in our heart from not feeling we "belong" to a group, often feeling that we don't really have any friends who care.

What a recipe for destruction of morals, values, faith, inspiration and strength. Scripture is very clear about the results of those who are alone.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down, his friend can help him up.

But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

I can see that those times times when I felt heart-wrenching darkness overshadowing my soul and a deepening sense of isolation and feeling a longing for companionship and love, was when I felt I was alone and under the suffocating burdens, doubts and trials of life, without a friend to care. Having moved 17 times, 6 times internationally during my marriage, there were ever so many times when our family felt deeply alone. As a mom of young children, it was especially difficult to manage all the issues and care constantly for my children with never a break and often no kindred spirit with whom to share life. As a mom of teens, I also found the challenge of filling my home with families and kids so that my children felt that we somehow had community and people who cared personally for them.

A couple of years ago, a friend observed, "Sally, I think you need an Aaron and a Hur. You are being consumed--giving, giving all the time and never being refreshed or refueled yourself will eventually destroy your ideals and your vibrancy. You need to have a support system of friends who can be help shoulder your burdens, commiserate with you personally in your trials, share in the personal victories and memories of life.

I remember saying, "I don't even know how I would go about that. I have many friends all over the US, but I have moved so much, it is hard to start over again and push through to find close community."

Her words simmered in my mind. "Best" friends, "sister-friends"  to share life has been a history since my childhood-to have that one who "gets" me and still likes to be with me,  to share broken dreams and hurt feelings, insecurities and longings and to be understood and cared for, to share the graces of shopping, lunching, laughing and getting older together through experiences shared.

But the older I get, the more crowded my life and the harder plant and cultivate the seeds of  close friendships. But God would not let her voice of admonition go away. Purposing to pray about it , a plan began to form.

Constantly surrounded by women all the time in groups and ministry and classes, but often feeling alone in the crowd seemed dissatisfying. I have been blessed to have many friends and I love and appreciate them all. But with having older children, in a relatively new town,  that no one knows, and focussing on my home and ministry, which requires lots of travel, often means I don't have the luxury to give lots of time to those casual friends.

The Lord seemed to place on my heart to pray about and identify  other women who seemed to be in my life in a more prominent way than all the rest. First, a couple of close friends who had been special to my life for several years. Then, those who had actually taken the initiative to ask me over for lunch or dinner (a rare occasion for me--usually I am the one who does the inviting!) and I looked for someone who had initiated to me personally. There were a couple of people who stayed after at my Bible study to help or who sent me an email and or encouraged me. I came up with a list of 9 women after praying.

Inviting them to dinner, I shared my heart to have a group of friends who could cultivate accountability, friendship and prayer for one another. For about a year, we met once a month for lunch at my house, a Christmas party, a potluck with our husbands and children. Within a few months, the lunches lasted longer and longer, we had dinners together, began to get closer. We prayed for one another. Had our husbands over for a big pot luck. Eventually, we grew into a living, with a purpose--besides just having fun, we began to work in ministry together. These precious ones served at my conferences, made all the meals and organized our leadership intensive at my home.

Goodies, gabbing, gobbling and guffaws.

Now, we consider ourselves the closest of friends, and feel so deeply blessed to share life. From 30's to two who are 57, small children to older children away from home, city girls and farm girls--we share in all of life, though not often--a committed time each month, a commitment to work at conferences together, to pray, study the word, share new restaurant finds, to "be there for one another."

The flower girl--flower shirt, flower background, flower carpet!

Pals

Beautiful friends---thank you, Lord, for letting me be loved and for letting me belong.

A bag of tricks

I was sitting behind a young mom at church the other day who was holding a large 2 1/2 year old in her lap for an hour and a half. The little girl in her lap seemed sweet natured but wiggly, giggly, active and talkative--in a normal tone of voice. I admired the mom holding her, but know that she was worn out after the service.

When my children were various ages, we often found ourselves in places--not just church, where they needed to be quiet or sit still--in the car when I was talking to friends, at doctor's offices and church and concerts and restaurants. I found that if I prepared them ahead of time and told them what to expect and how long it would take it helped them immensely to be able to be quieter.

I wanted them to learn that church was a holy place--where out of honor to God, we would use a quiet voice, very gentle actions and that they were such "big" girls and "boys" for being able to sit still to show God honor. Training, training, training all the time before they were in a place where I had expectations of them.

I also traveled with a bag of tricks, to so speak, that was never used for any other occasion. Depending on the age of the child, there would be a boxed juice and little container of cheerios or gold fish or small fruit leather--only to be used at the later part of their patience. Colored pencils when they were older, puzzle books, I spy books, finger toys for babies, as well as soft blankies to comfort. Joel was my car man and he loved, loved drawing and or just holding toy cars. He drew a million jeeps in his growing up years. I had a sketch pad for each one. All were quiet toys to be used when they needed to be quiet or sit still. The food and drink were only used in appropriate places and appropriate times. But I always kept this bag loaded in the car and looked at the dollar store for new stickers or little quiet things to add so there would always be something new.

At Christmas, Clay once ordered each of the kids a Land's end travel bag with their name on it--in different colors for each child. The he spent a couple of months filling each bag with paper airplane books, books on tape with a small cd player, challenges, mysteries, little toys, coloring books and quiz books and all sorts of treasures.

We kept each child's brief case in the car and it gave them hours and hours of pleasure over the years when we were on trips and when they were waiting on us. We never used dvds in the car as we didn't want media to become a habit when there were so many creative things to do. When the family culture is to listen to long books on tape in the car, all learn to improve their listening skills and it feeds their brains with great literature and exciting stories. You can accomplish a lot when you keep books on tape or other creative entertainment for the cd player. Teaching children to listen is all a part of shaping their appetites. If they are used to too much tv or movie entertainment, they will complain when they have to listen to a book or draw or stare out the window and imagine life. It is the moms and dads who build the habits for their children. All kids can learn to give up media if they are provided alternatives and if you hold to your decision. Never in the history of mankind did children have movies in the car till now.

I do not want to create guilt for anyone. We are all free to make the best decisions for our family.  ( a strategic Winnie the Pooh saved us through many ear infections at home), In the car, there are so many things to see that offer food for thought and creativity and it is a great place to disciple your children with great conversation and great music. Especially during the junior high and high school ages. We reserve the right to say all ipods off when we want to talk or listen to something as a family. Because it is an expectation, our kids never questioned it.

It also taught our children that there were places to be quiet and to sit still and exercise self-control. We had lots of fun and to this day, they all travel with fun stuff to use on long trips and places where they will have to wait. (on the plane or a long car trip, my older children all download books on tape on their ipods, bring books, journals to write in and snacks.) Fun to see the habit stuck in their own adult lives.

Touch and back scratching can soothe a child that is ready to blow. My mom also taught me a trick when I was a little girl--she would take one of my hands and pull slowly on each finger until she had covered all ten and then she might do it again if needed.

The happiest children are those who are kept engaged by planning on the part of the parent and it trains children to learn to entertain themselves and to listen.

Becoming a Generous Provider and reflecting His very nature to our children

Spinach, mushroom, swiss cheese quiche; Whole Wheat Rolls, Whole Wheat Oatmeal Bread and Twisted Oatmeal Bread with Cinnamon Sugar filling; Pumpkin Cranberry Walnut Bread--yummm! A physical provision for delight and health and meal time celebration.

The Clarkson family is very distinct in our family culture. We have spent so many hours in each other's company, that people have actually been able to tell that one of us is a "Clarkson" just by spending time with us when we are miles away from each other and meet someone in a grocery store.

We tend to have a similar vocabulary and world view of life. We have the same general manner of relating to people because we have spent hours and hours training our children in relationship to other people. And, not surprising, our messages are similar, we like the same books and movies and tea and pizza and and and. You see, we have become like the people we loved and invested the most time with over the years.

As I have pondered this, it is similar in relationship to God. I have realized that the more time I spend in the presence of God, the more I will take on His voice, demeanor, His words, His likeness. What I sow I will reap. But as I have been sharing this message in the past few months, many have said, "I really want to love God and be like Him, but I don't know exactly what that means or really how to do it."

Knowing God is of the greatest spiritual value--to Him.

Jeremiah 9:23-24: "Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, let not a mighty man boast of His might, let not a rich man boast of His riches, but let him who boasts, boast of this: that I am the God who exercises lovingkindness and righteousness on the earth."

Our God is relational and wants us to be the closest of companions to Him--to make many memories with Him, to know all about His story, to understand just who He is and what He is like. But so many have been come to understand God through laws, fear, performance and works, that the personal-ness of Him is lost.

Consequently, one of the new books I am writing is about God's roles in scripture, to seek to make Him more real to me and others as they see Him in relationship to us. When we observe what God is like, it gives us a picture of His heart. I am gleaning so much out of this study as I work on it a wee bit every day. With personal knowledge of God, comes a legacy of faith and strong foundations. We become so familiar with His faithfulness, it gives us a firm basis on which to stand in the future course of our lives.

Now, let me divert just a little. It is God's will that we reflect Him to our children--but we cannot reflect what we do not know. However, if we seek Him, seeking will provide knowledge, familiarity, history, love and worship. Then the showing of Him to our children comes from a life of being with Him, as my children were with Clay and me and reflect us. They are really the book of our lives that people are reading.

If we are filled with the Holy Spirit and He resides in us, it has been on my mind that, if we yield to Him in the moments of our days, then our children, husband and friends will actually feel they have been in the presence of God when they have spent time with us, because we are residing in His presence moment by moment. When we walk with Him and yield our attitudes, our words, our actions, our service, then we will actually be the hands, voice and message of God, incarnate in us. What an amazing thought.

However, I do allow for it to be a process. As we mature and obey the Lord each day--when we respond to His nudging; when we pray about and apply a scripture that convicts us, each day, we are being conformed to the likeness of Christ and those in our arena will experience this more as we mature more.

So, the first role of God I have tackled, is God as a Provider.

PROVIDE means: to make available, to furnish; to supply or equip; to prepare of procure beforehand

Studying this aspect has really opened my eyes to Him in new ways. God created us to have needs so that he could provide for those needs. God made us to need food, rest, protection, purpose, love. He also gave us a body that could grow strong through exercise. A mind that would grow intelligent through use. Gifts and strengths that can only be present when used and trained.

And, God wanted us to look to Him to provide those needs. Even as I take joy in planning for my children to feel loved on their birthday and focus our traditions on building the birthday child up, I receive great pleasure when the child is blessed and responds to my preparations. So, God delights in us coming to Him and in having us see His provision and respond.

He even has provided us things just to delight us--color--the reds, golds, of fall leaves; the dark steel blue of an ocean; the bright gold of an iris, the dark green or blue or amber of eyes. He provided Adam and Eve with food--plants, fruit, vegetables, seeds, meat, fish, poultry, seasonings, all sorts of tastes. He provided them with a garden of grand design to live in. He provided them with clothing after they fell away from Him. The pillar of fire and clouds and manna. Jesus provided the crowds with fish and loaves because they were hungry. He is going to prepare a place for us--a mansion, a home in heaven, for us to live in with Him in eternity.

To understand God, means we must recognize Him as a provider.

For our children to better understand God, they will learn how to recognize Him as a provider as we provide for them--as we provide a haven for a home; comfort during illness, food for feasting and celebrating life; music for dancing and singing. And so, these tasks we have in our homes are not meaningless, but filled with His very presence when we understand that in providing needs and desires, we are acting in the image of God, and our children will read of Him and understand.

In what ways can you be a provider for your family this week. How can you provide beauty or love or comfort in the next 24 hours?

If God wants to be a generous provider to His children, what might He want you to ask Him for--that He may show you His provision? May you know and have eyes to see His provision today--even in a sunset, the stars, a gentle touch.

How can we actually grow in this likeness, though, without spending time with Him, learning to know what He is really like.

PS I know that I should give out recipes and I will do a youtube on my bread making--I promise, someday--just too much to get to everything!

Dark mists, a violent storm, and a shadowy figure

Savrasov Pascher Monastery 1871

"He lives always to intercede for us." Hebrews 7:25

Sitting in our pj's and chatting for too long, left me with little time for a quiet time this morning. I felt a need to have just a moment of peace with the Lord, so I picked up my Celtic prayer book, knowing there would be scripture, a short encouragement that would at least put my soul in the presence of God, as I readied myself to hurry off to my activities for the day. Little did I know that those 5 minutes would comfort me all day, and meet me at my point of need at this very juncture in my life.

Seems two men sought wisdom from an educated, old monk who was reputed to be a man of great character and distinguished in his devotion to scripture. Arriving at the sea coast town, they left their ship and climbed the long hill to the monastery. Several days were invested in revealing spiritual conversations , ponderings about God's nature and presence, and the essence of true spirituality. With full souls, they bid farewell to the wizened old monk and walked toward the ship that would take them back home. With hearts overflowing, they gratefully planned how they would apply such wisdom in their daily lives in their home town.

Almost as soon as the giant ship left the small port, a raging storm gathered and lightening crashed about with thunder filling the air, and the ship swayed back and forth, the captain straining to keep it afloat amidst the crashing waves. In terror, the two men came aboard to access the danger. Peering through the dark, blowing mists, searching for the lights of home fires burning near the shore, they saw a shadowy figure emerge from the door of the monastery. Almost as soon as the figure appeared, they noticed it was the old monk, looking out upon the ship at sea, and that he fell to the soaking ground on knees and began, in a posture of prayer, calling out to God passionately.

After a very short interlude, the sea momentarily softened its rage and gave way to a semi-clear pathway so that the ship could secure a way to come back to the safety of the port. The monk, it seems had dedicated his heart and strength and devoted cries to God for the safety of those who had so recently been in his charge.

Somehow this story has been with me all day. It seems such a gracious picture of the sanctified old monk, not just being a person of the Word, but a man of His way--calling out before the throne of heave for those entrusted to his charge. This a picture to me, as I seek to be such a saint for my children and husband.

They, in the storms of their lives, are beyond my control, but not beyond the help and counsel of my Father and God. But as I witness these storms and see the seas of tempest surrounding them, I, too, have access to the throne of God. Perhaps, I will be their comfort to help them be brave as the shadowy figure was for the two men in the story. I battling on their behalf, that in their storms, they might feel the grace of God, find the strength of God to save them, and know the comfort of God's presence right where they are.

And then I read, in Hebrews. He, my Lord and savior, even as a priest before the throne of God, like the old monk,  lives to make intercession for me, His child. So thankful for this picture today as I face my own storms of life. And so very strengthened to be the prayer warrior as one son faces the demons of Hollywood, the other the liberal philosophy in Boston, and my two girls--one learning to drive on the freeway, and the other making big decisions, need me to stay before the throne for them. God has access to their brains and consciences. He will whisper His truth and wisdom into their lives. Somehow, mysteriously, I can help them by battling in the heavenlies as their prayer warrior and devoted mother, even as the monk did for those beloved of his--even as Jesus is so willing to do for me.