The House is now "Christmas-fied" according to Joy

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything that is beautiful; for beauty is God's handwriting - a wayside sacrament.  Welcome it in every fair face, in every fair sky, in every fair flower, and thank God for it as a cup of blessing.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The living room--the tree, wall of windows to the outdoors, lots of lights come together to make it a place of beauty.

So many words have been crafted about whether we devalue the beauty and simplicity of the Christ story through all of the contemporary ways we have marketed and made Christmas into a pagan holiday. Should we celebrate with Christmas tree and validate the pagan ways? I have prayed and pondered all of these issues over the years.

In our home, though, we use the magnificent Christmas story as one more way to celebrate God's beauty, life, love, goodness and building memories together in our home. Home should be a haven, a storehouse, for creativity and the glory of workmanship that shows the divine spark of our ability to create an atmosphere that breathes the life of Christ. Home should encompass all that is good, inspirational, true, comforting, loving and real.

The world holds temptation and darkness. When we, as women, create an atmosphere that invites and welcomes our children, husbands and families every day, they will always see our home as a place of restoration, a haven in the storms of life. It is one of the glories of womanhood to craft, uniquely, her own home into that place that warms the hearts, stills the fears, captivates the imagination of those who live there for the glory of God.

As my older children have forayed out into this contemporary world where post modern thinking prevails, and there is temptation, darkness, cynicism on every side, they all long to come home to refuel, to find harmony with God's design, to feel loved and to remember why they need to be warriors for His kingdom. Home art creates a legacy of memories and longings that ties the strings of our children's hearts to our own home, values and faith, where they will return again and again to remember all that is of true value.

Creating a beautiful haven gives all who enter a place for their work, play, creating and living of life. And so, though the work is long, we seek every day, to create the beauty of His presence, not only in our words, but also in the atmosphere that supports our messages.

Child friendly--the Raggedy Dolls my mother made me as a little girl.

Swedish Elves to pull down and to pretend with on the den mantle.

A camel carrying gold, frankincense and myrrh

Interest to explore in every nook and cranny, collected and saved over the years to make this the unique, "Clarkson" haven.

Of course, beautiful books everywhere to cuddle up to read aloud together.

Beauty and candlelight adorning every available space.

A pedestal cake plate transformed into a candle-holding centerpiece.

Treasures from past days--my grandmother's ceramic handiwork!

The nativity scene my granny hand-painted so painstakingly so long ago, is celebrated every year.

The big old copper pot on the porch that held geraniums now holds the smells and greens of the winter outdoors.

So much more, but each item lovingly placed with hopes that all who come here, especially my boys who will return home to celebrate life, will feel welcomed, embraced with the peace, beauty, and life of the Lord Jesus, who so meticulously worked to make our own home on earth such a place of beauty to behold, a soul-filling masterpiece of His own handiwork.

Peace to you this day.

Comparison brings death to the soul, but there is a way...

Sandro Botticelli Adoration of the Magi

Four times this week, I have been in conversation with different people who have expressed inadequacy in their lives.This from people I love, respect and think are wonderful people.

"When I see what so-and-so is doing, I feel that I fall so short."

"I think I am disappointing so many people--I can't seem to call everyone back, respond to emails, get all the housework done, be patient, and and and..., I always feel like I am falling short."

"My children seem to fight all the time. I just can't seem to manage them like other people do."

"I am such a failure in my marriage."

Even my children have felt this way lately.

"Seems all the people who are immoral get the parts in movies and television and I just keep plodding along with no special favor."

"Compared to all of the other professional musicians around, I am not up to snuff."

"Mom, do you think she has more skills than I do? Will you be disappointed in me if I don't do as well as I thought?"

Comparing ourselves to others is epidemic. Comparison will always, always be destructive. We will either find ourselves falling short of others, and that will cultivate self-condemnation. Or, we will find ourselves better than others and that will bring pride.

Proverbs tells us that, "The fear of man brings a snare."

When we look to others as the standard by which we should live, we make them idols. They become the standard by which we think we should live instead of living by grace and freedom in Christ. When we look to others for our affirmation, we will never find enough affirmation. There will always be someone better, prettier, more successful, wiser, .........

How grateful I am that Jesus shows no favoritism. He reached out to the unlovely, the unpopular, the meek: children, prostitutes, tax collectors, lepers, Roman soldiers, bleeding women--women! He lifted them up and gave them worth. Maybe he did show favoritism afterall--to the broken, the humble, those who had no illusions about themselves--those who appropriately realized that they needed a savior.

Jesus said, "I am humble and meek. Learn from me."

I love coming into His presence. I am usually wrinkled in my pajama's, sleep breath, no make up, tossled hair, vulnerable--(I am naturally a fearful person.) But I light my candle, have my tea, and in His presence I find love and acceptance and hope. He made me. He knows me and as Psalm 103, "He is mindful that I am but dust." But I am a part of His family. I came from Him--his very own Spirit, He formed me in my mother's womb. He will always be loyal and accept me because I am a part of His very being in this world.

In His presence, I am adequate, because He saved me so that I could be in His presence without pretense or performance.

"Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest."

Not come to me all who are perfect, have arrived, have accomplished enough.

If I am acceptable to the Lord of Hosts, the king of the whole universe, then I need not compare myself to others. As a matter of fact, it is the only way I am acceptable to Him, if I don't try to come to Him on my merit, because I will always come up short.

I love the story of the little drummer boy that I listened to at Christmas time as a little girl. The scene I pictured as a little girl was the traditional manger scene of Jesus. Humble shepherds, keeping watch in the fields, heard the angels and sought the baby who had been born King of the Jews. Yet, there were the great "seers" from the far East. Seems that the wise men all dressed in silks, satins, velvets, adorned with gold, frankincense and myrrh also approached  the manger where baby Jesus was born. These magnificent kings came with an auspicious entourage of servants, camels, baggage, fine jewelry and gifts.

However, the poor shepherd boy, had no possessions--nothing to give to this servant, come from heaven, nothing to compare to the finery of the wealthy, learned men. As he pondered what to do, he realized he could play for baby Jesus on the rude drum that he highly valued. And so the young boy, humble, uneducated, with no title prowess, approached the crib--and he played with all of his heart.

"I played my drum for him, parumpapumpum. I played my best for him, parumpapumpum."

So to honor the Lord Jesus, the little drummer boy gave what he had and gave  his heart of love with His gift.

And so that was what Jesus wanted--the boy's love, the boy's admiration and willing heart.

Now that is something I can give wholeheartedly--myself, my love, my faith and gratefulness. I may not give perfection, or maturity, or prowess, but I can give him my little girl heart. The heart that sees His beauty, His unconditional love, the freedom he gives me to be me, just as I am. And that makes me respond with such love, appreciation, such grace. How very grateful I am that Jesus does not compare me to anyone else. He is my justification. He is my badge of honor.

Even the way our precious savior came, as one of us, the common kind, "with no stately form or majesty," shows us his preference. If we are to be pleasing and adequate, it must be with Him as our sole audience, the only one who can give us approval that will satisfy our souls.

So, this Christmas, may I give Him the gift of my adoration, not because I will ever be enough, but because He is my all in all.

"Course he isn't safe, but he is good. He is not a tame lion."

I awakened to the words of a hymn pushing their way to the front of my crowded mind. No music, just the words, "There is a place of quiet rest, near to the heart of God." My mind rarely finds rest from a restless swirl of thoughts: tasks to be done, articles to write, correspondence to answer, children's cares, the demands of the days, finances, future---you know the story. But often when I awaken and put my mind on the Lord or look out my window to see the morning sky (we don't have curtains on our windows.), my mind is filled with scripture, or some kind of thought from the Lord. So, I started thinking about this phrase that had popped into my mind.

Fast Forward to this morning. Joy, my darling, funny, extraverted, winsome and always talking and wondering out-loud daughter, said, "You know, online media just can't substitute for a real person. You can see words or a picture, but you can't see the movement of a nervous gesture, or smell the perfume or odor of someone or look into their eyes, or hear the tone of their voice. There is no substitute in a relationship for the real thing."

How very true--words  on a screen or book can be helpful--but they aren't the real thing. For instance, you can look at the picture up above and imagine what you will, but you can't know that uphill climb that we had all taken up a tiny pathway on the Austrian Alps, and found ourselves peering into the faces of cows on a meadow pasture full of wild flowers or understand the energy of Joy who dived into the grass. You can get an idea, but the frolicking, out of breath, surprise at the large animals, the tension and verbal jousting that was taking place between my oldest two children in their 20's with my 15 year old alive teen girl.

Over the years, my children and Clay and I have realized that people suppose they know us because they have read my books.  Of course words do help and provide some truth, as well as pictures. But, without spending time in our presence, people can only suppose they know us.

My children just smile politely in public at the things people say, while keeping their thoughts to themselves most of the time. Often, people fill in the gaps of what they don't know about us using their own imagination and ascribing to us their own values and tastes. But most of the time, what they have supposed they knew about us is not exactly true. Often people think of us as some sort of spiritual people who sit around talking about deep things while always having a book in our hands. But in reality, we are a real quirky group and much more "every day" types--loud, arguing a lot, making messes and usually complaining about washing dishes--because though we love to feast and celebrate life--we are more artistic at heart and find the messes and reality of chores --well a chore! We dance a lot, wiggle a lot,  sing loudly and listen to loud music in the car, tell funny jokes, discuss everything with strong opinions and live like normal people. But to know us, truly, you have to spend time with us over a period of time in the real moments of our lives with us.

It struck me, as I was still pondering, there is a place of quiet rest, near to the heart of God--that it is the same with Him. You can't just read words on a page. Or sit stiffly in a pew once a week, while pondering what you are going to have for lunch, or read a 5 minute blog post.

A real relationship is built over time through every moment of sharing life.

You can't just read God's Facebook profile and suppose you can be close to His heart. To be near to His heart--understanding His heart, believing He really loves you, experiencing His personality, requires hours and hours of real life in His presence--knowing His words through the voice of scripture and then talking to Him--pouring out your heart in prayer that is engaging with Him in the privacy of your own room, all alone, believing. Living through years of seeing His faithfulness.

In the Chronicles of Narnia, when confronted by the idea of Aslan, the lion, who is a picture of God, Lucy asks, "Is He safe?"

"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver."Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."

Mr. Tumnus also says, "He's wild, you know. Not a tame lion."

— C.S. Lewis (The Chronicles of Narnia

God is grand, beyond our imagination, everywhere, powerful, gentle. We may never know Him fully, but acknowledging His presence in the reality of a quiet snow storm, the painted evening sunset, the comforting embrace of a friend or lover, the grace of forgiving, gentle words from a loved one, in the flesh real live person who is being God to us, laughing or crying or having a warm, intimate embrace, and actively loving Him through each moment, understanding that He was the designer of these gracious moments of life.

It can't be found from saying, "Tomorrow, I will do better." Or "Tomorrow I will make myself have a devotional," with guilt in my heart.

It is found in a heart fully alive to Him--through my messing up and my being a child in my faith--but loving, loving, loving and seeking Him while I may be found. It is not virtual--imagined by reading one more book, but it is  days upon days of just being, walking with, talking to, resting in--His presence, in His word, contemplating Him, complaining to Him, doubting Him, knowing His patient grace and love, when most undeserved--just like a real relationship. If I invest my time and my heart, I will indeed end up with a real, in the flesh relationship.

And so if I am to find that place of quiet rest--it must be as a result of being with Him, day in day out and then coming to know Knowing and understanding Him through all the moments of my life, through what He has made, what He has said, what He has taught me through His Holy Spirit, what I have learned from being with other godly people who are filled with His attributes. It is a real live relationship-exciting, always mysterious, an adventure, but to be close to His heart--will always, always bring confidence, peace, security.

If I engage my worship of Him through all the moments of walking them with Him as my closest of companions, then a natural result will be that I will be and feel near to His heart and then I will find that being there, it is a place of quiet rest. But, it is a life intentional, lived, pursued--without the investment of heart, time, mind and soul (Loving Him with our heart, soul, mind and strength), there can be no rest--But if I invest my whole being in Him, with all honesty as I am with Him, getting to know Him as my not tame lion, then I will come to find more than I ever hoped for.

Faith is Sweetest when exercised in the dark times

"Darkness was slowly permeating my bedroom, chasing out the last few rays of daylight, as evening fell. As the sun slipped behind the horizon, I felt that the light left me as well. I felt a oneness with the gathering darkness, as though it was an expression of my own dark thoughts and feelings. For a long time, I lay there quietly, staring up at the ceiling, which was rapidly disappearing from my sight. I could easily turn over to turn on my bedside lamp, but I didn't want to. After an emotionally draining, tension filled day at home, I felt I deserved this moment of darkness. But I also didn't want to be found. I just wanted to be left alone."

~from Seasons of A Mother's Heart, A Light in the Darkness

So many times in life, the sweeping feelings of fear or desperation or despair, increased by being alone or lonely,  have blown over my heart and soul. Often, worry would strangle my heart, making it difficult to breathe the reality of His freedom and grace. Too many children, too many bills, difficult relationships, an insurmountable work load, unanswered questions and unanswered prayer, often felt like too much for me to bear or carry.

Feeling as though my "labor was in vain," or that God had forgotten me, I had to push through the darkness to sit still and picture Him as I read about Him--that He was faithful, righteous altogether, that He loved me, that he answered prayer, that I was not invisible.

And then, in spite of my feelings, I would timidly offer Him my love gift. "I believe you even though I can't see you right now. I want to thank you that darkness is not dark to you, but that you are with me, working, loving me and taking care of my problems and worries, even though I can imagine how. I love you, God. I have faith in your faithfulness."

As I look back now, I can see that God usually had bigger purposes than just meeting the demands of my immediate prayers. He was building character, forming hearts, leading in a new direction, protecting me from my own temporal idols of quick fix, which would leave me more empty if I were given them.

As a matter of fact, when I see where I am now, and where my children are now, I often think He was doing far more than I even asked him. But even as a toddler doesn't understand the discipline, love and protection of a wise parent, so in my limitations and ignorance, I was tempted to think He was not there. He was not taking care of me.

I was reading in my quiet time today, "Those who hopefully wait for me shall not be put to shame." He promises that when we wait on Him, praise Him, rest in Him, believe in Him, that we will not be embarrassed or put to shame for our faith.

Malachi 3: 13-14 tells us of the wickedness of choosing to believe that God is not active. "Your words have been arrogant against Me, " says the Lord. "Yet you say, what have we spoken against you?"

"(This) is what you have said, It is vain to serve God; and what profit is it that we have kept His charge, and that we have walked in mourning before the Lord of Hosts?"

God considers us arrogant  when we shake our fists in his face. He is at work.

Finally, Hebrews 3: 12, "Take care, brethren, lest there should be in any one of you and evil and unbelieving heart, in falling away from the living God."

God equates evil with an unbelieving heart.

When these tests come upon us, it is our one moment when we can look at our circumstances, feel our feelings of despair, and then choose to say, "I don't understand, but I believe and I will wait, and I will rest, as an act of my will, because you are the Lord of Hosts and you are my Father."

How precious to a parent, when a child looks into reaches for his hand and looks up into his father's or mother's eyes and says, "I love you. I trust you because you are faithful. I will submit to you, because I believe in you."

And so, when we look into the eyes of our father, not with arrogance, but with humility and trust, we must bring a smile to His face and be pleasing to His Father heart.

Inspiring to greatness, capturing a vision for life! Vote for Nate!

"The future destiny of a child is always a work of the mother." Napoleon Bonaparte I understood very early in my journey of motherhood, that one of my main goals was to help cast a vision into the life of all of my children that they had a "work" to do in the world. I told them that they were each designed to accomplish feats of courage, to bring light into a dark world, to use their talents, skills and stories to build their own sphere of influence to promote the love of God, the foundational strength of families, and to bring about righteousness and strength in the world.

Biographies of great people lined our bookshelves and lent to hundreds of hours of reading great stories about people who had become heroes in their own generation.

And then little, freckle face, extroverted Nathan looked up at me one day when he was 7,  and said very confidently, "Mama, I want to grow up to be superman! Superman came from another world, just like Jesus, to help and save all those people who needed help. I want to be a hero who does something to help!"

A Colorado mountain moment this summer with Nathan, my resident Superman.

Fast forward many years. Nathan grew in his desire to have an impact on his world. After high school,  Nathan prayed that God would open doors for him for 2 years after high school to allow him to go into acting or singing, to make an impact with his life. Then, God allowed him to win the singer-songwriter competition and received a scholarship to the New York Film Academy. Next, he moved to New York City and had miracle after miracle to find an amazing apartment, Christian roommates and fared well in his year there.

Finally, he moved to Hollywood, has been in numerous television movie projects, barely making ends meet, but still there learning the ropes. He is in a great church, has become a leader in the college ministry group and is leading a men's Bible study there.

Now, a great opportunity has arisen for my Nathan. You can help me to give him a wonderful opportunity.

He has made it into the finals of a singer-songwriting competition. After making it into the finals, the winner is decided by popular vote. Each finalist is allowed to send this information to allow friends, fans and all who are able to receive 10 votes for his music. Will you please help me by voting, having your kids vote, or whoever is willing to vote for Nate's song? The winner gets to play his song at an Actors Musicians Talent Competition in Orlando, Florida in January and will get exposure to music producers, acting directors, and agencies from all over the United States. It would be a wonderful opportunity for Nathan to get to present himself to these leaders in the industry.

You can help me, as the mom who is seeking to support my kids dreams for their destiny to make an impact in their world, by voting and then please consider sending it to your friends, children, and families, to also vote for Nate--kinda like an American Idol online. I really appreciate your consideration.

Please help me by voting for Nathan!

You put your curser on this page: http://amtcmusic.com/poll.asp?pollid=3

Nathan is about 2/3's of the way down the list. Then, go to the side of his name and put a check in the box that says, "I like" and then go to the bottom of the page and submit.  It would mean so much to me if you could vote for Nathan and help me support this superman who has dreams of bringing His light to an industry that needs restoration.

Nate singing at a family camp where he worked with the kids this summer!

Please vote for wonderful Nate.

Would appreciate it if you could tweet about this to your friends! thanks so very much--exciting to see what the Lord will do! Thanks again!

The Holidays: A Time to Celebrate and a Time to Trust! Cyberspace miracle

The Holidays--A Time to Celebrate and a Time to Trust!

Swedish painter, Carl Larsson

I hope you all had a precious pile of memories from your feasts, fun and times shared with friends and family yesterday. We so enjoyed our day with friends. Now, like you, my mind turns to the next few weeks of celebrating Christmas with family and friends. This year as I go into the Christmas season, I am very grateful that the Lord keeps our ministry going, but to be honest, it has been a year of financial challenge. Along with the rest of the country, we have felt the squeeze of financial challenge. A sweet friend of our ministry, though, came up with a great idea of how to provide a little more support for our ministry, publishing, office and staff needs. Perhaps some of you who have been encouraged through our books, or conferences or ministry, might find it in your heart to help support our ministry with no financial cost to you!

I WOULD SO APPRECIATE YOUR CONSIDERATION OF OUR REQUEST BELOW. IT WILL HELP CLAY AND ME KEEP WHOLE HEART MINISTRIES AFLOAT!

Cyber Monday is coming up ~ one of the biggest online shopping days of the year!

About a year and a half ago, we became aware of GoodSearch and GoodShop. By using GoodSearch, a Yahoo! powered search engine, every time you search, GoodSearch donates money to a designated charity. You get to select the charity you wish to support. Some of the charities are local churches, private schools, non-profits of almost every kind, including Whole Heart Ministries. Likewise, GoodShop donates a portion of each online sale to the designated charity. We talked about GoodSearch and GoodShop in an earlier blog post and with our email list, but just in case you missed those communications, here's some more about this great organization.

This information is taken from the www.goodsearch.com/about.aspx webpage:

GoodSearch is a search engine which donates 50 percent of its sponsored search revenue to the charities and schools designated by its users. You use GoodSearch exactly as you would any other search engine. Because it's powered by Yahoo!, you get proven search results. The money GoodSearch donates to your cause comes from its advertisers - the users and the organizations do not spend a dime!

In 2007, GoodSearch was expanded to include GoodShop, an online shopping mall of world-class merchants dedicated to helping fund worthy causes across the country. Each purchase made via the GoodShop mall results in a donation to the user's designated charity or school - averaging approximately 3% of the sale, but going up to 20% or even more.

Ken and JJ wanted to create a means to support charities so that people would say, "Why wouldn't you do it?" That's what GoodSearch does. Since it doesn't cost anything and you get proven search results, there's no reason not to use it!

GoodSearch is dedicated to Ken and JJ's mother, who passed away from cancer and who taught them both that by working together with dogged dedication, we can really make this world a better place.

Did you catch the "mom connection" in the last paragraph? Ken and JJ dedicated GoodSearch to their mom. Her legacy of making the world a better place can help us get the word out about biblical mothering!

You can track the amount raised at http://www.goodsearch.com/nonprofit/whole-heart-ministries.aspx. Last month, over $50 was raised just through online shopping! Thank you to those families who are supporting us in this way!

You can also support us by using: http://www.goodsearch.com/goodshop.aspx and see the deals and some stores used there.

This holiday season, if you're an online shopper, would you please pray about using GoodShop to support Whole Heart Ministries? Instead of clicking the car key "on," a couple of clicks with your computer mouse will bless moms literally all over the world! I think that's afar, don't you?

Here's some text you can copy and paste onto your blog to help us spread the word about GoodSearch and GoodShop. Thanks so much for your support!

What if Whole Heart Ministries earned a donation every time you searched the Internet? Or how about if a percentage of every purchase you made online went to support our cause? Well, now it can!

GoodSearch.com is a new Yahoo-powered search engine that donates half its advertising revenue, about a penny per search, to the charities its users designate. Use it just as you would any search engine, get quality search results from Yahoo, and watch the donations add up!

GoodShop.com is a new online shopping mall which donates up to 30 percent of each purchase to your favorite cause! Hundreds of great stores including Amazon, Target, Gap, Best Buy, eBay, Macy's and Barnes & Noble have teamed up with GoodShop and every time you place an order, you'll be supporting your favorite cause.

And if you download the GoodSearch - Whole Heart Ministries toolbar, our cause will earn money every time you shop and search online - even if you forget to go to GoodShop or GoodSearch first! Add the Whole Heart Ministries toolbar at http://www.goodsearch.com/toolbar/whole-heart-ministries

I so appreciate your willingness to consider this! Have fun shopping!

OUR GOAL IS TO GET 1000 PEOPLE SUPPORTING WHOLE HEART THROUGH GOOD SEARCH--THAT COULD HELP PAY STAFF AND PUBLISHING FOR MORE THAN ONE MONTH! PLEASE HELP US BY PROMOTING THIS CAUSE. THANKS SO MUCH.

Oh, to be truly loved! What a comfort, what sweetness.

Joy and Sarah, who entertained me in their sleepiness last night.

Somehow, as I closed the affairs of my day and began to climb the stairs to bed, my legs felt heavier than ever. Each step reminded me how tired I was from the day of shopping at three stores, teaching, running around to piano lessons, to the bank to deposit money a child needed, cooking and eating and washing dishes one more time. I am bone-tired lately at the end of each day.

At the top of the stairs, I heard loud music coming from Joy's room. Multi-colored paisley cloth, buttons, headbands, strewn all around her, as she diligently sowed. "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserable was waxing eloquently out of her speakers. One of our mutually favorite Broadway songs called me to sit on her bed and sing loudly with the lovely voice on you tube.

"You know, Mom, though I do think that song applies to so many girls, I also think that 'On My Own" is just as poignant!" So, I sat on her bed, legs crossed under me, jammied all about, computer on my lap and played this piece loudly, while again singing it from my heart, along with the soloist on you tube, with Joy giggling at me. "I didn't know you had it in you this late at night."

Discussing the depths of these two songs for few minutes, as only a late night brings on, giggling and chatting a bit more, I finally left her to make her Christmas gifts alone. How I do love this funny daughter of mine--the one with a hysterical sense of humor, always singing, always teaching me something from what she has been thinking, a friend of friends.

And so, it seemed only right to push Sarah's door open. "Are you asleep yet?"

"Not much chance of sleeping with you two next door," she commented wryly.

She lying like a princess, with covers up to her chin, long brown hair spread out on her pillow with soft light glowing from one tiny lamp, her Bible in hand.  Squishing against her, while sitting on the side of her bed, I asked her how she was doing. With a book deadline looming large and mission trips and college applications to finish, and expensive and challenging decisions to make, she, too, was weary and exhausted.

Gently massaging her fingers and arms, we commiserated about our own personal loads we were carrying, and talked about yielding them into His hands. I picked up a ceramic rabbit next to her to jump on her bed covers, just like I had done when she was a little girl and needed comic relief. (Don't know what possessed me.) We laughed and laughed at some antics that came up between us, and finally I said, "Tell me a Jesus thing before I go to bed. I need something in my mind before I go to sleep."

She smile knowing me, and how often I live in condemnation for the little failures in my day, and opened the Bible to where she had been reading.

"Oh, how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God, and so we are." I John 3: 2-3

And suddenly my heart was filled with thanksgiving. Even as I had been delighting in my own sweet children, feeling I could be myself, resting and rejoicing in our mutual, close relationship, with the strings of their heart to tightly tied to mine, I immediately felt relieved in my heart, and accepted and at rest myself.

You see, I prefer Joy and Sarah, my very own children. I have spent thousands and thousands of dollars on them. I have given them my time, my body, my sleepless nights, cooked thousands of meals, sought to make celebrations so very special in buying them gifts, crafting a life, putting them to bed with blessing on countless nights, forgiven them their attitudes and messes, and still preferred them from all the other people in the world--because they are mine--my  very own, coming out of my body, beloved children.

And so God, has bestowed such a great and endless and personal love for me--I am preferred and forgiven and cherished and served and thought about by Him, because I am His very own child. Even as I can, in my own limited sinful way, enjoy and celebrate my children's lives and moments and be intimate friends sharing hearts, laughter, weariness and needs, so He, as my Father, has bestowed all of His love in these very same ways on me, even knowing me to my depths, and yet willing to keep giving, celebrating life, listening, helping, comforting--because I am His very special, chosen, related to Him child.

Unimaginable, astounding that He, our heavenly Father, should love me so.

And this is what I am most thankful for this year--thankful that I am His own beloved child--that He loves and enjoys me in spite of it all, because He is my Father.

And of course, so very thankful for my family and thankful for you, my friends.

I'm Getting Sooooo Excited !!!!!

YOUR MOM HEART MATTERS!

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE MOM'S CONFERENCES AND CAN'T WAIT TO SEE ALL OF YOU!

Today, I was in a meeting with some wonderful friends planning our mom's conferences and praying over them. I am getting so excited today about the Mom Heart Conferences. Let me share with you just a few fun things we are adding this year!

Clay's new version of Educating the Whole Hearted Child will be available. We will have a special one hour workshop on Nurturing a life of Education in a Life-giving Home

Mom's Tea--On Friday morning, we will host a mom's tea again for all the women leading small mom's groups and for all of those who want to find out about leading a group.

UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL--at each of the hotels, after the conference is over, Clay and I will host a gathering where you can spend a couple of hours with us,  asking questions, spending personal time with our family and just relaxing together. This may be limited in size, so we will let you know about it soon.

Mom's just like you--lots of moms of all ages, young and old, will be sharing with you throughout the weekend about all sorts of topics that will be of interest--babies, teens, organizing, failure, personality, and more.

Kid's panel--Older kids of some of the speakers will be sharing from their own lives what most helped them to want to walk with God as they went out into the world.

Lots of speakers

Jeanna Young, author of the new Princess Parables story books, will be sharing with us about how to build character in the lives of children.

Special Treats! A Time of Retreat, Refreshment, and Renewal for all moms who are so busy the rest of the year, with hundreds of moms just like you.

In California, the Hilton Hotel, where we will be staying and host the mom's tea and Saturday night meeting, has also included 2 full buffet breakfasts for each room for the moms who stay there,  just to spoil them.

The Raleigh conference is in a new hotel and is giving us the whole hotel. It is a lovely hotel with a full porch of rocking chairs to sit in and discuss your heart's issues with friends.

The Marriot in Colorado Springs is newly redecorated and has hot, homemade pretzels or another goodie for all the attendees when you arrive at the hotel.

The Dallas Marriot is putting together some special breakfast and dinner menus and promises to make it the most special stay we have ever had.

Everyone everywhere is seeking to really serve our moms this year.

There is so much more.

Early Bird Discount

Be sure to register early to get the $20 discount! (If you happen to win the conference giveaway, you will get a refund on your conference registration, so don't miss the discount.)

REGISTER HERE

January 21-22: Colorado Springs, CO: Mom Heart Conference

February 4-5: Irvine/OC, CA: Mom Heart Conference

February 18-19: Irving/DFW, TX: Mom Heart Conference

March 4-5: Raleigh/Durham, NC: Mom Heart Conference

PLEASE HELP US PROMOTE THESE CONFERENCES! YOU ARE HELPING TO SUPPORT OUR MINISTRY WHEN YOU GET THE WORD OUT! THESE CONFERENCES HELP US PUT MORE BOOKS INTO PRINT AND TO SUPPORT OUR ON GOING INTERNATIONAL MINISTRY. WE APPRECIATE ALL OF YOUR IDEAS TO MARKET THESE CONFERENCES AS WE ARE ALWAYS HOPING TO REACH NEW MOMS TO ENCOURAGE THEM!

GIVEAWAY You can still enter the free conference giveaway by promoting us on your facebook, on twitter, on your website or blog. Go here for information.

We love moms and I cannot wait to see all of you there. Praying for you already. Thanks for helping us!

Part 2 of The Mystery of Discipline

When we live by faith in so many areas of our lives, why would God not want us to live by faith in the area of discipline? In other words, with the Holy Spirit as our guide, wouldn't it make sense that God would give us wisdom to understand the different personalities of our children and to adjust our discipline according to each of their needs? Wouldn't He want us to reach the hearts and lives of our children in the same manner that He reached the heart of His disciples? By serving them, loving them, correcting them, teaching them, living with them in wisdom and truth and modeling integrity. So, I give you part 2 of The Mystery of Discipline article I wrote to answer some questions I received from a group of moms.

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Words that build bridges of encouragement and affirmation

Appreciate their good behavior--"You are so very helpful. Thanks for picking up all your toys." "You were so patient with your sister. Thanks for being such a great big brother--I couldn't do without your help."

We used consequences a lot with our children and then we were very consistent to follow up. "When you talk to an adult, you say, 'yes, Mrs. Brown" and you look them in the eye and you do what they say." If they misbehave, we would say, 'what is our 24 family way about how we speak to authority?" (We trained our values into our children ever day by teaching them our way and giving them scriptural admonition--go here to see the 24 Family Ways in our bookstore to see what Clay wrote for our family.

We corrected a child's behavior immediately. We often said, "You have a choice to make. If you stop your bad behavior right now, then we will keep playing at the park, but if you insist on fighting with your sister or brother, (or whatever), you will have to go sit in the car while everyone else plays. (And then I or Clay would go sit with the child--but usually our children learned to comply with our training if we were consistent. I do think, however, some parents are too harsh and impatient with their young children--2, 3, 4 years old. These are the questions that need to be asked first:

1. Has my child had enough sleep--do I need to punish them or put them to bed with harshness and unrealistic expectations because I have allowed them to become exhausted?

2. Is my child's blood sugar low-do they need to eat or have I pushed them too far?

3. Is it past their bed time or nap routine?

4. Are they overstimulated by being with too many other children for too long and or by too much activity? (When children are in the presence of other children as toddlers and pre-schoolers, even more then two others at a time for over an hour, it takes their blood sugar almost 24 hours to normalize! ) Keep your children home, give them routine, let them play and exercise and tire themselves from natural play--not from being in front to the television or from being inside too much with too many other little children.

5. Have I been paying attention to my child--is his or her emotional cup full? Or have I been correcting them all the time and "whining" at them and they are badly behaved because I have not been attending to them?

6. Am I trying to make my little boy stop being a boy? (Boys are louder, more active, and slower to mature and not as apt to sit still--just takes a little more time and patience.)

7. Do I make an effort to sympathize with my child and enter his world--give him time to explore, nurse him or her, touch and tickle and show affection to them and hold them a lot?

8. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you--are you being fair? Positive and content and not yelling or whining or using guilt? Respect your child--meet your baby's need to be held, nursed and picked up and you will have a happier toddler--children need lots of love and affection--when their needs are filled, they tend to be much easier to handle and quicker to comply--I spent so much time with my little ones at home and they were much easier to train than when I took them out every day and overstimulated them.

Now, if these basic needs are met, then a child is much more apt to be easily trainable. (When I am not overworked and my emotional cup is filled and I feel happy in my home and am appreciated and affirmed--I am a much better person--and so with my child. But when I am exhausted, spent and have neglected my personal well-being, I also am harsher, and shorter of temper. I have to maintain my own peace at home for them to find me peaceful.)

Loving, teaching, training, etc. is over and over and over again. Takes a lifetime--when he is "old" he will not depart from it! :)

One mom said she was having to spank her child 6-8 times a day for not washing her hands before meals (found out the child was 2 1/2 years old!) I told her, "If you want her to like washing her hands, every time before you go to eat, you pick her up in your arms, take her to the sink and gently rub her hands with soap and sing a "washing, rubbing, making hands clean and smell good song" and then you kiss the hands and gently put the child in her high chair and she will want to wash her hands the rest of her life-- and it will bring a good memory!

We would also always train our children before we went into a new situation. "When mom goes to the grocery store today, I will give you a small cup of cheerios to munch on. I would like you children to stay quiet in the grocery store and not beg for something. If you obey Mommy, we will go to the park afterwards and have a small snack. If you choose to misbehave, we will have to go straight home and you will have to stay alone in your rooms." And then you remind them if any discord starts to erupt. Then children learn what you expect from them. Also, we would use distraction with little ones.

I think, too, that some stages just must be lived through--no, not this, this! over and over again--and then over a period of time, you will see that your children are growing in self-control and time plays its part and they begin to naturally mature because they are growing older. Just be patient.

Just wish you could have heard my girls talking and talking about controlling children and all the methods they remember us using--so fun to listen to your own and giggle at them in all their ways. Fun to be at this stage--they do grow up, eventually! Have a happy week and try to enjoy each phase--as I miss my boys way too much and when Sarah is gone, I wish she were here. But I do also enjoy them being out in the world and seeing them all spread their wings--it is healthy. But the whole process always had so many ups an downs and it is perfectly normal to feel weary and to be impatient--I had to learn to be a little kid person--just wasn't in my skill set or personality--but eventually it came.

Grace and peace in the midst of the messes of life and faith to handle it all.

The Secret to Having Mighty Children

I find that at this stage in life, I am spending more time discipling my children than ever. Last week, I spent hours and hours on the phone with my two boys. Nathan is in California and always facing big decisions about life, finances, career, and his heart needs. Joel is contemplating graduate school, the demands of finishing well at his college with balancing job, church, composing and applying to master's programs and being exhausted. Sarah is working hard to finish a book deadline, considering strategic missions with women overseas, life, future goals and personal needs. Joy, is dealing with friends, her future, spiritual issues and her own ministry to girls. The older my children become, they have no less need for a spiritually accountable mentor, but more of a need. And yet for them as young adults, it is not always easy to find those who are walking by faith, living in the Word, praying with and for them, pointing them to godly character, challenging them to live excellently and to hold on to God in a world that disdains faith, morality and purity.

In a formula driven society, so often we look for a list of rules, a easy application to help us to "get it all right," and to get the work of life and raising a godly heritage over with, so that we can move on to "important" things. Yet, the older I get, I see myself more than ever, as a Jesus figure in the lives of my children--even as Jesus was with His disciples.

My life's work is about investing my time and integrity with them, and not about my public life or appearances in my books, blogs, or conferences. This work means I drop everything else. If I am not faithful to those entrusted to my care, I will have no integrity or messages. And for this reason, I am simplifying my life even more, to be available for the personal ministry in my children and husband's lives. This is the "work" God has given me to do.

Jesus said in his high priestly prayer, "Keep them (his disciples) in thy name." He prays for them, teaches them, serves them and loves them and gives them encouragement and words  of life. This Jesus did to adult men, his life was geared around preparing them to be spiritual and supporting them in the ministry they would have in reaching the whole world. And so I see my job, to continue serving, loving, teaching, encouraging, holding up in prayer and pointing to the Lord.

But this morning, I was especially encouraged in my time with the Lord.

"How blessed is the man who fears the Lord and greatly delights in His commandments. HIs descendants will be mighty in the earth."

As I walk with God, cherish His commandments, choose to believe Him in the darkness of my own home, when no one else is watching, and focus my heart on His faithfulness, then the blessing of walking with Him in integrity spills over to the lives of my children. There is no other way. I cannot pay someone else to give this integrity to my children, by classes, books, experiences. But if I give myself to this great work, He has promised it will have results in the lives of my descendants. Simple as that--no formula, no works, just choosing to worship, value, trust and listen to, and obey my  precious God.

"Light arises in the darkness for the upright." He will bring light even in the darkness for those who trust Him and hold fast to HIs commandments.

About the righteous man's (woman's) heart choices:

"She will not fear evil tidings, her heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.Her heart is upheld, She will not fear."

Our children being mighty is as a direct result of us trusting, being steadfast, in his power and assurance which we choose to believe, because we worship and trust that our God is true and present and ready to listen to  our prayers. We believe that He is  faithful. We wait on Him in hope and great expectation.Our heart is upheld and we will not fear, because we revere the Lord, invest daily in His word and believe what He says.

And so, every little decision we have, every challenge, every obstacle, every responsibility, as we walk through it all with God, choosing to believe in Him, the secret, practiced faith in the Lord will have the result of making our children mighty.

I see that as I speak to my older children of this faith I get from Him during the secret times of devotions, and model for them a righteous life, the strength, and faith and spirituality grows and grows in them. This will be my magnus opus--to have had the privilege to disciple my children as Jesus did  his own 12, and to seek to follow Him and engage my heart at every point in Him, and then watch Him bless my children.

It is not about the big miracles, it is about the daily living of faithfulness and practicing faith, hope and love in front of them and with God as our audience.