Someone to love

Whatever you want your children to cherish and tuck deeply into their hearts must be something that is an intentional part of their lives every day, every season. Loving one another, as adults find out in marriage quickly enough, is a choice, not a feeling. Honor given to another is an attitude of humility and respect that is trained into a young child and practiced over many years. So, those who cultivate love and respect find it blooming more than those who leave it unattended.

Consequently, if you want to have children who know what it means to exhibit generous, unconditional love, you must help them practice loving every day. When my children were young, at regular intervals, I would give them practical ways that we would practice love and giving encouragement to others.

First, we had studied our 24 Family Ways and memorized them and learned the verses.

Our 24 Family Ways

"We treat one another with kindness, gentleness and respect," was one of the ways that our children heard and wrote over and over again, so that this principle became a pathway in their brain.

Then, I would create ways, over the years, to help them practice taking the initiative to extend their words and actions of love towards others they cherished.

Once, we made a list of 20 people that were special to our family. Together, we spent a whole day baking--cookies, bread, cinnamon rolls. While we waited for them to bake, I provided doilies, markers, paper, ribbon and glue and we spent the day crafting "I love you, I am so thankful you are my friend," and "I appreciate you and thank God for you," cards.  Each was of the kids own making and each child chose one of the 20 to present his card to.

Finally, we all gathered our plates of goodies, ribboned and carded, and placed them gingerly in the car, and we were off. It took us 4 hours to deliver them to all of the homes of those we had chosen to "give our words of love to," and it delighted and filled all of my precious ones with memories of how much a tiny thoughtful gift can mean to someone who needs to hear the words, "I love you."

The patterns practiced are a part of who my children perceive themselves to be now as adults--lovers of others. The habit of being thoughtful was a learned value, having practiced it regularly. The fruit is a soul that emanates love, from being planted by seeds of intention and carried out by cultivating and watering those seeds with deeds of kindness, led by a mother who gave her time.

Little moments of eternal value given in love

We ought not to be weary of doing little things for the love of God, who regards not the greatness of the work, but the love with which it is performed. Brother Lawrence

The World is brimming over with philosophies and values that proclaim the importance of  self-fulfillment, self-promotion, accomplishment, status. Yet, our Jesus came as a man who had no stately form or majesty, a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. He purposely chose to humble Himself, to become the ultimate servant king. "I am humble and meek," He said. He came not proclaiming His rights, but bowing his knee. He washed feet, touched lepers, embraced and caressed the least of these, precious children, who He deemed worthy of honor.

When we accept with open arms and heart a precious little baby and wash their little hands and feet with love in our hearts, we are worshipping. When we hold and rock and sing comfort into the heart of a screaming babe in the middle of the night during an ear infection, we become the voice of Jesus.

When we stay up late to listen to the forlorn heart of a teen who is growing and stretching toward adulthood and the injustices of the world, and the imperfection of our own families, and extending grace, patience and soothing, hopeful words, we become the patience, hope, compassion of Jesus.

Our multitudinous little tasks, washing one more dish, correcting one more attitude, kissing one more forehead, when given from a heart full of love for Him,  please Him far more than if we made millions and had a title of strategic importance.

He sees in secret, He cherishes our hidden worship more than anything else we could give Him-the worship of serving His own children our of a servant heart, filled with love and gratitude for Him. In this is our treasure we lay up in heaven for His glory.

Nathan gave me the little figurine above on a mother's day many years ago.--(the boy holding out his heart) He said, "Mom, you held my heart in your hands and shaped it with your love every day, every task, every minute of serving us kids. And Mom, for that reason, you will always be there in my heart, speaking to me of all the treasures you poured in one day at a time."

Love Him today, love those He has given you to serve today.

All you need is love, all you need is love........

Every year, as I put up my Christmas decorations into lidded boxes marked "Christmas, I pull out the plastic lidded boxes called "Valentine's Day," I put hearts out everywhere--on all the tables, in the bathroom, as books on the hearth, on my brass fireplace covering, on top of my china hutch, in the basket with magazines in the bathroom.  

It is fun to have decor every season. But love is such a central theme in our Christian life, that it deserves to be celebrated for 6 weeks!

(Austrian Wax Heart)

One of the things I have practiced in the past is to review one love verse a day in February--to show just how foundational love is to marriage, ministry, family, friends, healing, giving, serving.  (Just Google Bible verses love and you will find many verses to review with your precious children. These habits practiced for many years become a highway in their heart to practice love.

But as I teach my family these important verses, it is me who becomes the definition for what unconditional love is really like. t is as I see my children through the grid of wanting to show them just how generous God's love is, that they can believe the words of scripture about His love when they read verses about His love.

(Brass fireplace cover.)

So make this a month of loving, decorating, celebrating and of course eating a little bit of your favorite chocolate!

Some verses to get you started:

"For god so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believe in him shall not parish but have eternal life." John 3: 16
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and all you soul, and all your strength, and all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself." Luke 10: 27
"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in sin, but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always hopes, always trusts, always perseveres. Love never fails." I Corinthians 13: 4-8
"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and everyone that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." I John 4:7-8

Some of my very favorites for our family:

"Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friend." John 15: 13

"Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another because love covers a multitude of sin." I Peter 4:8

"Above all things, put on love, for love is a perfect bond of unity." Colossians 3:4

"God is love." I John 4:8

Oh, no! Spring fever is hitting me--in -20 degree weather!

It is only February and we expect temps of - 20 tomorrow! But I have spring fever--a deep desire to run and play and do anything but take care of responsibilities! I am sitting here at home needing to do Monday things, as well as a thousand duties that need to be taken care of in the next few weeks.

But I am finding today, that I really want to play, escape, have fun, go on an adventurous trip, cozy up in a friend's home and just talk and talk and drink lots of coffee or tea, travel on a train, go to a lovely cafe for lunch, curl up with a book--maybe to the Lake District in England or to Prince Edward Island --and pretend that my life is carefree and all I need to do is sleep, make memories, go on long walks and be with my most beloved friends and family and explore.

This is a sort of pull the covers over your head and go back to sleep sort of mood. What to do? What to do?

What would you advise me to do on a day like this? What little joys do you find "get you through" days like today?

What are your escapes if you could escape today?

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Serving up excellence, character, appreciation and inspiration!

"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." --John Quincy Adams

"Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friend." Jesus Christ

With 5 conferences over a period of a few weeks, hundreds of details to take care of, hotels to be dealt with, emails to write, talks to prepare, it is very easy for me to gloss over my children at home and to say, "I have so much to do and so many important tasks on my plate, I do not have time at this moment to attend to your needs."

But, my integrity is based on what I live at home. I have a highly driven teenager who is shaping her ideals, watching her parents, listening to what is happening in our home. I am so grateful for her because she daily reminds me what is real, what is true and what really matters.

Last weekend, though the conference went well and hopefully many were blessed, Joy worked like a trooper. My children have all had to learn how to set up book tables, handle registration, stay up long hours waiting on me, putting up with the exhaustion of one more airplane, one more bag to carry, one more women who wants to talk. And Saturday morning at our conference, after having had layer upon layer of difficulty in the logistics of the conference in relationship to the hotel, I almost blew a gasket.

Ironically, the next hour, I was to speak about cultivating an optimistic, joyful spirit. I talked very strongly to one of the managers at the hotel about needing some things to take place immediately, as women were already waiting at the ball room door. And then the Holy Spirit put his finger on my heart, "Go upstairs! Go now! Prepare your heart to give your message with integrity--you do not have to control everything! Go now!"

And so I went upstairs. I quickly told Joy of our dilemmas, and asked her if she could go downstairs and be sure that everything would be prepared for the opening session, and went to my room and prayed, got my spirit right and focused on my verses for the morning. When I went into the ballroom, the tablecloths had been changed, the tables decorated, the water was out and it was ready for the morning. Joy had jumped in and I found out that 6 other women who were attending the conference had also jumped in to help and get everything ready for the day. How I appreciated that I had a daughter who could manage and be trusted. How humbled I was that these precious moms who had come to be refreshed and renewed had become servants to the rest of the women there, and helped to make the day ready for a blessing.

And so, God put it on my heart, "You need to serve Joy and speak encouragement and gratefulness into her life for all that she is: trustworthy, dependable, and generous of spirit."

And so, her favorite salad, (mixed greens, toasted pecans, avocado, cranberries, onion, and feta), and little finger sandwiches, hot Yorkshire Gold tea with our meal; and a chocolate torte  for desert. Candles, china, fresh flowers from the conference, music and time to say, "I prepared this for you. I appreciate you. I believe in you and in your dreams."

Joy shared with me how much she was enjoying the book Clay had passed on to her--The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens. She ended up challenging my own life. We both agreed we wanted to keep pursuing excellence as a result of our talk. I shared my vision. She shared some of hers. Our meeting of hearts took on epic proportions--books, music, influence, romance, plans.

The more I read the Word, the more I ponder Christ, the more I see that ministry--real, deep, life-changing influence-- comes from time invested, to talk, share, pray, listen, laugh, cry. It is what Jesus did. It is what I must do if I really want to have a heart-felt impact on those God has called me to serve.

And so a memory made, dreams shared, character challenged, and love cultivated. So an ordinary Wednesday became a day in which hearts were shaped and drawn closer together, because Joy is really the priority of my life during this season of my life.

YOUR MOM HEART MATTERS! It really does--California closing!

"What a blessing to have been amongst hundreds of women singing Holy, Holy, Holy, laughing, sharing in friendship and being inspired to live a holy and purposeful life as moms! I can't thank you enough. My life is changed forever!" was the email of one sweet mom who attended the Mom's conference last weekend.

I am finally at the age where I see that all of my ideals mattered. The training, love, reading, discipline, prayers, meals, traditions were all going deep into the heart soul and mind of my children. God's calling on our lives has a wonderful reward and fulfillment. I am so very grateful to have been a part of His ministry and hand cultivating my precious ones into adults with a loving, passionate heart. A friend put this on her facebook today and it was a reminder to me of my convictions and how I still feel.

As it is, after eighteen years (NOW 27)  of learning the truth of living sacrificially, I have found that embracing God's call to motherhood once and for all has brought me great peace. Instead of seeing fusses and messes as irritations in my day, for instance, I am more likely to see them as opportunities to train my children to be peacemakers and to learn to be responsible for their own messes. Instead of resenting the interruptions in my schedule, I am more likely to accept them as divine appointments. More and more, I have learned to see my children through the eyes of God and to accept the stages of growth through which he has designed them to grow."

-Sally Clarkson, The Mission of Motherhood

Last weekend was such an incredible weekend. We had a full to overflowing crowd in Colorado Springs and had to close registration. Now, we are almost full in California. Please be sure to register this weekend by Sunday, midnight, or you may not be able to get a seat or a meal. If you or your friends are planning to come to the California conference, PLEASE BE SURE TO REGISTER ASAP AS WE ARE FILLING UP AND WE MAY BE FULL BEFORE VERY SOON! If you know of a friend who is planning to come but has not registered, please let them know we are almost full. Many moms have already written us to tell us what a grand weekend it was for them, and we don't want anyone who was planning to come to miss out.

I know you will be greatly blessed if you attend. Help us get the word out to your friends and be sure to register as we may not be able to add to our numbers after Monday due to the provisions of the facility of the California conference.

And remember, for all of you staying at the hotel on Saturday night, I will have a pajama party in my room for those of you who want to talk and have some one on one time.

Itza Pizza Pie Tonight!

The kids huddle around the glass window of our oven, watching as the cheese melts and the dough starts to rise just a bit with a golden crust while they count down the longest 15 minutes of their life. I wish you could smell this lovely pizza pie! It's piping hot, right out of the oven and I can't cut it into squares quick enough for my family! Funny to me that they prefer mom's homemade pizza pie over any pizzaria...no joking!  It might have to do with the many variations we have created, or that my kids can make it on their own, or that it just is one of the all time ultimate comfort foods! I know as moms we all have days when we don't necessarily want one more thing to do. But Pizza Pie is quick and can have as many or as little toppings as you like.  This one is super easy and again, use what you have in your pantry and refrigerator already.  I usually make this meal when I am at the end of my menu and can't get to the store till tomorrow, because we always have canned goods and cheese!  I have even used frozen shredded cheese right from the freezer and it comes out just as good!

The kids really enjoy helping with this meal, so let them take over, or at least let them help you grate the cheese or chop the veggies! It doesn't really matter what it looks like...it's pizza!  We do make our own wheat pizza dough in our Bosch, but you can buy dough in the freezer section or better yet, get it from the bakery if you don't make your own. Just be sure to call ahead to the grocery store and let them know how much you will need.  Keep it in the refrigerator until ready to use.Here is a very simple recipe for you.

Pizza Pie

*this is for one pizza

pizza dough  (can make homemade, buy from bakery section, or freezer section of store)

small can tomato paste

small can of tomato sauce or alfredo sauce

**Toppings**

1 or 2 types of cheese   (any kind - Depending on type of pizza you are creating)

Italian seasoning

basil (fresh or dried)

fresh tomatoes - diced

spinach - chopped

(or anything that you have; such as mushrooms, olives, peppers, chives, onion, artichokes, Canadian ham, leftover cooked chicken breast, bacon)

salt/pepper/olive oil to taste

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Grease large cookie sheet with sides and place dough on sheet.  Press out with hands or use a rolling-pin to cover bottom of sheet and make a crust by pushing up against the sides. Cover the dough with tomato paste using a spatula or back of a large spoon lightly so that you don't cause tears in the dough. Sprinkle Italian seasoning and basil. Next, pour the sauce onto dough and spread with back of spatula or large spoon. Now add the cheese(s) and fresh toppings. Finish with salt and pepper and a drizzle of olive oil on top.  Place into the oven for about 15 min. or until crust is golden and cheese is melted.

**You can also make ahead of time and stick it in your refrigerator until ready to cook! Cover with plastic wrap loosely.  Add a salad for a complete meal!

Hold on to love, laughter, beauty until the end-it is your grace

This morning I am listening to Ralph Von Williams on my Pandora.

I poured myself a cup of Yorkshire tea and lit all the candles around me.

I sat in front of these beautiful roses left from the weekend. I am looking out on tall, lean pines amidst the bluish-purpleish gray sky, with gleaming white snow peaking out here and there. I am taking time to love Jesus and tell Him how very happy I am that He is real and with me--that He has painted the sky and made music to stir my soul and that He is with me loving me. I am seeking to cultivate love notes to heaven as I appreciate the lover who is invisible but here in my life today.

Last weekend I spoke at the conference, I met so many beautiful, precious women who have deep burdens to bear--a prodigal son or daughter; a heavy and dark marriage partner who refuses to love or give grace; many with chronic illness--cancer, MS, and others; children who are downs syndrome with moms new to these precious babies and figuring out a new sort of life, single moms who have been abandoned by their husbands. I could go on. I am familiar with deep sadness in my own life, some things I will never be able to share publicly because I believe in loyalty and protection of my family from the public eye.

We are subject all round us to the consequences of a fallen world--so beautifully made, so scarred and marred by the illness of our souls that has created havoc, abounding in so many corners.

Much of the sadness or at least sad circumstances will be with these precious women, who are in my heart, for many, many years--if not their whole lives.

But the circumstances of their lives does not need to define who they are or how they live. Home is a place to light a candle in the darkness, to bring hope to sadness, to celebrate that He has overcome the world. Yet, making home the best place to be requires a grid that says, "I am the one called to bring light."

I often hum the Steve Green song from scripture, "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

I have added my own verses, "Do not be overcome by darkness, but overcome darkness with light."

"Do not be overcome by hatefulness, but overcome hatefulness with love."

"Overcome death with life."

"Overcome sadness with joy and celebration in the midst of the mundane."

The invisible, the Lover, the maker of beauty, the servant King is in our midst as a devoted Father. He is a bridegroom preparing a wedding feast. He is a wonderful counselor who has compassion on us when we feel lost. He is a shepherd who lays down His life for his sheep and leads them beside still waters.

As long as I keep my soul alive by dwelling in His presence, remembering the roles he plays in my own life, as long as I cultivate and practice a heart of love and give it and live in it, I can overcome the darkness--all darknesses of my soul here on earth. But love and beauty and faith must be cultivated daily, in His presence, looking for His reality, so that my heart will be filled with the reality of Him and His overcoming goodness and redeeming light.

The glory of a woman is her ability to stir up Life in this dark world. We are born to civilize, to encourage, to inspire, to heal. Women are most beautiful when they are engaged in creating the reality of His life and love wherever they go. But this love comes from intentional cultivation--it is the grid that we see life through--I am created to be an overcomer, an artist who leaves beauty, a counselor who brings peace, a magician who brings hope and laughter in the very midst of despair.

And so today, I become a co-creator with Him, who is the source of all that is beautiful and good--celebrating His reality into the midst of this puzzle that is called my life.

The strength of any woman is built on a foundation of what she cherishes, practices, waters, cultivates. Love is there, waiting to strengthen--the soul of a great woman depends on Him flowing in and through every day.