There must be a life-giving mom somewhere, lurking in the background

Sitting in large, white rocking chairs with Sarah, enjoying moments, glancing about at all the interesting peeps passing to and fro. Piano music playing softly in the background. I even went to the restroom where they had mouth wash, kleenex packets and all sorts of other convenient items for any thing a traveling woman may need. Free internet access for the very modern and connected person.

All we are missing is the sweet iced tea and the chocolate chip cookies.

Trees planted through out, soft lights--I feel like I am in a community neighborhood with community, peace and momentary rhythms, sharing a moment with my sweet friend, Sarah, and passing time rocking away

BUT WE WE ARE IN THE CHARLOTTE AIRPORT WAITING FOR OUR PLANE.

There must be a life-giving mom, somewhere lurking in the background who planned this to be a different kind of stop in an airport.

On to the next airport...............

What are your questions?

Monday morning in Asheville with 3 days to sleep, walk, eat great food (wonderful cafes here!), share deep friendship with Sarah, (the companion of my soul, who stimulates and refreshes my own heart) and ponder the months ahead. I have been astounded at the thousands and thousands of responses to my article on discipline. I just sat down one morning before I had to take Joy to a piano lesson and quickly pounded out a few thoughts in answer to some emails I had received, never knowing that there was such a hunger and need for encouragement in this area. I know that when Clay gets his book, Heartfelt Discipline, back in print, it will be of great encouragement to many. Clay is a well-ordered thinker and he has studied scripture for many years, (has his mdiv in theology), so you will be blessed.

But, as I approach my own writing schedule, I was wondering, "What are the other questions that burn in the hearts of moms and women, in light of their own spiritual lives?"

If, in some small way, I may be of help or encouragement, I would love to do so, as I walked this path of parenting without much personal input or help.

I do know this, though. The starting place is God and His word. The more I pondered Christ, the more I studied the roles of God (provider, creator, lover, shepherd, servant king, Father, teacher), the more I understood my role in the lives of my children, as I am to picture His reality in their presence and interact with them as He does with us.

But one thing I want to end with before we foray out to the grounds of the Biltmore, is this, God is the God of resurrection. Many people think they have blown it with their children, marriage, families. But when all seemed most hopeless, Jesus being brutally murdered and dead in the tomb and dark clouds over the face of the earth, He was resurrected. He is a God of redeeming, bringing life, hope, restoring that which was broken. He will redeem the years of the locust. He will bring grace and truth and peace. So, take courage, He can restore and replace harshness with love, brokenness with wholeness.

If God is for us, who can be against us?

We need only to, "Trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not to our own understanding, in all our ways to acknowledge Him and He will direct our paths."

So, let me know, what are your questions? What would you like to discuss??

Such beautiful women, such wonderful stories

"People are like stained glass windows.

They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,

but when the darkness sets in,

that is when their true beauty is revealed,

only if there is a light from within." Elizabeth Kubler Ross

Meeting so many wonderful women this weekend in Raleigh and hearing their stories. So very precious to see that way God weaves the color of His grace through the faith and grace of their lives. My soul is enriched.

His light overwhelms the darkness

Darkness seems to threaten so many sacred places in our times. Marriage is being attacked. Children are not valued. The battle rages. Yet, we have a conquerer, a warrior on our side, one who has already won victory. He is with us. We may champion alongside Him and sing His praises as we watch Him bring a rousing victory. We are agents of His grace and light and have the privilege one time on this earth to sing and teach and tell of His ways and light until the victory dinner when we see Him face to face.

Just a few verses and thoughts that spoke to me in my quiet time today:

Come swiftly, O Lord, to the dark moments when we are lost. Make us aware of Thy presence. Strengthen us to resist the urges and pulls to deeper darkness.Stir us to move away from the dark moments of sinful selfishness toward the light of thy forgiveness. Come quickly, O Lord, as we call--or forget to call--and keep Thous close to us and keep us close to Thee this day and night and as far as the days and nights stretch before us, and we see you face to face, through Jesus Christ. Amen

James Kennedy, Holy Island

"If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light will be night," Even the darkness is not dark to thee, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to thee." Psalm 139: 11-12

"I am the light of the world. In me is no darkness at all."

And the people who were living in darkness have seen a great light.

Let your light so shine amongst men that they may see my glory.

Jesus

May our lights show forth today and may we walk in the light of His counsel.

Peace and grace to you today.

Someone is always observing our lives

Mary Cassatt Child in a Straw Hat 1886

What a whirlwind of comments, shared convictions and discussion over this big issue of child-discipline. The bottom line (no pun intended), is, we must walk by faith in our own homes, trusting in the guidance and wisdom of the Holy Spirit to show us every day how to best relate to our children. Our goal is to reach their hearts with the messages that are on His heart, and to transfer to them an understanding of his Kingdom and our stewardship as His children to be stewards of that message. I will not be responding to any more comments or posts about this as I will be occupied with our conference. But thanks so much for all who participated!

Just because of the sheer volume of responses I have received, I know that many parents are engaged in this great calling--and that is very encouraging. In a time when children have often been pushed aside and left to fend for themselves, it is heartening to see that so many are passionate about the "raising" of their children.

On to Raleigh

I am traveling right now and will probably be mostly absent for a few days, though I am inclined to throwing in some thoughts here and there. I am in Raleigh for another Mom Heart Conference and would so appreciate your prayers for our family as we serve the moms here.

On the way to my friend's home from the airport last night, my friend and I were chatting and sharing stories from the past couple of days. She was sharing about her own groups that she was teaching, and women who were responding, and their stories. Telling the story of a sweet mom who would be with us, captured the attention of my girls.

When we got to her house, Joy, who had been riding in the back seat, came to my bedroom and shared her heart.

"Mom, when I think about how my life has been most influenced, and I see you and Miss Lynn and others extending truth and encouragement to so many, it really makes me see that I want to be a teacher, too, and pass on knowledge, understanding and truth. I want to influence other's lives personally in the same way."

The way we live life intentionally speaks volumes to our children. When we do not even really think they are listening, the small conversations, the friendships, the life shared is going into their souls. They do pick up our own commitments and convictions when their own soul's have been filled and then they watch our lives and it whets their appetites. What a blessing to see the Holy Spirit moving in and amongst our normal moments of life and conversation.

I leave you with a quote from one of my favorite writers on the subject of influencing children.

"How many parents there are … who are readier to provide playthings for their children than to share the delights of their children with those playthings; readier to set their children to knowledge-seeking, than to have a part in their children’s surprises and enjoyments of knowledge-attaining; readier to make good, as far as they can, all losses to their children, than to grieve with their children over those losses.  And what a loss of power to those parents as parents, is this lack of sympathy with their children as children."

Henry Clay Trumbull, Hints on Child Training (1890)

Treasure-chest of the soul--One cannot give what is not there, part 1

"Make your ear attentive to wisdom, Incline your heart to understanding; for if you cry for discernment, lift up your voice for understanding; If you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will discern the fear of the Lord and discover the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom ; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity." Proverbs 2:2-7

Bone chilling fog wafted through the mysterious, ancient cobblestone streets as I made my way to school each morning in Krakow, Poland. Mists wrapped around the gray stone walls of the  aged city, whispering of the hidden secrets of kings and queens who resided there through hundreds of years.

Living there during the Communist occupation meant that we could not buy much food. Meat was scarce and fresh fruit and vegetables were rare and brought into small, open air markets only in season. But always, we could find beautifully carved wooden boxes of every size, shape and style.

Hoping that some day I would have my own cottage to fill with beauty and color, I would scan the hundreds of choices to find a distinctly crafted box that might someday find a place in my imagined future home. I was particularly drawn to the treasure chests that had keys to lock away precious letters, secrets, journals or jewels.

Years later, when my home became a reality and little feet pattered around, my treasure chests became favorite relics in my home. Often, I would lock a scrawled verse on a bright piece of colored paper, place some chocolate covered coins, a tiny little ring, bracelet, knight in shining armor, or small puzzle inside for my children to discover. Glee and intrigue would fill their hopeful little eyes as they opened the chest to see what was inside.

During a quiet time one morning, my eyes lighted upon one of my little chests and the Holy Spirit impressed me to look at the heart of my children as treasures chests. Filling the treasure chests of their hearts with truth, beauty, love, great thoughts, books and ideas, adventures, memories, traditions, wisdom, music, art, lessons, all that I could imagine became a purposeful goal. I realized that I wanted to fill them with such an abundance of relics of eternal value, that they would draw beauty, strength, guidance, assurance, courage, love the rest of their lives, so that they would always have bounty to draw from the rest of their lives.

Realization came to me, though, that I could not give to them what I did not myself possess. If I wanted the souls of my children to be rich, then my soul needed to be rich because it was my soul they would draw from. And so the idea of intentionality began to engage the imagination of my heart.

Whatever I filled my mind with became the tutor of their education as I lived my moments in their presence. Whatever I had learned and embraced, became for them the message on my heart of my day. Investing time every morning with the Lord became the passion I passed on each morning over breakfast.

Finding great people whose presence brings life, inspiration, and after I am with them, I want to be more excellent, want to trust God for more miracles, want to be a better person is rare. But, I realized that I wanted to be that kind of person--where the living, sparkling, dancing spirit of God was so much a part of me, that to be with me was to be in the presence of God.

The Holy Spirit comes into our lives to produce the fruit of Christ--love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control, and so this is what I knew should be growing in me as I lived and abided in Him. I see that in God's economy, it is possible to become a "great" person, because He is great and desires to produce in us His holiness, righteousness, integrity.

But, filling our own souls with His character and grace does not happen by accident. I know many who speak of being committed Christians, but few who are truly great women because of who they have become from years and years of devoting themselves to Him.

If I am to become that kind of woman, one from whom all in my presence can count on finding Him there; finding truth there, finding life and inspiration there, then it will only happen with a plan, that will take every moment of every day to mold me into such a person.

And so I understood, that we must become actively engaged in becoming the kind of person we would like for our children to become. We must model for them what we hope they will embrace and learn. And so, I became a treasure seeker--I pursued all that was excellent and good, seeking to model myself after the most excellent, the most beautiful, getting rid of the garbage that was in my heart, as often as I needed to, so that I could fill my soul with all that was good.

"By wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established; And by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches."

The Mom Heart Blogs just keep coming and are delightful to read:

http://somegirlswebsite.com/showing-love/2011/02/god-is-at-work-in-your-childs-life-tea-time/

http://mamahall.blogspot.com/2011/03/tea-time-five-adjectives.html

Sunday Ponderings

"The path of the righteous is like the light of the dawn that shines brighter and brighter until the full day."

Proverbs 4:18

The older I get, the more I realize I am approaching the "full day." That day when I see Jesus face to face. I have fewer days left to love Him, to worship Him, to cherish the gentle, beautiful, holy, generous, redeeming servant King who walks with me on this path and teaches me day by day.

Today, I am asking how to come to the quiet, Him, and fill my soul and engage my heart in His love,  and to hold on to Him in the midst of the loudness and busyness and shallowness of a contemporary, impersonal culture, so that all who are with me may be confronted by His presence, coming through my very being, invading the darkness with the present I AM.

Comfort food and a good English Drama

Several close friends and family were ill last weekend and had some sort of respiratory virus, and so it was going around. So I can't really blame any one person and don't want to make anyone feel guilty. But, after going to emergency care this morning and ending up with 6 medications. (I am an asthmatic and I have bronchitis and my sinuses are totally stopped up, so after I take Joy on an errand, I will come home to just rest, play, and be sick. Not often we give ourselves permission to just take a day off! Comfort for me will be something of a rhythm. Homemade cream of broccoli cheese soup from yesterday. (I add a couple of potatoes so it feel creamy with out so many calories and fat.)

Old fashioned chocolate chip cookies with pecans that Sarah made. (The secret to good cookies is always whip the butter, vanilla, sugar and eggs by themselves for 5-10 minutes on high and then don't bake the cookies too long--they will cook a little more after they are out and on  a stone and they will dry out a little, so you don't want them tough.

Of course pots of tea. And some great English drama series that we can be romantic with and enjoy the countryside and dream.

Our favorite that we have watched over the years are: (and we almost have them memorized:

Pride and Prejudice (the new and the old 8 hour one!)

Sense and Sensibility

Persuasion

Emma

Larkrise to Candleford--so wonderful and new, but they are canceling it after its 4th season!

David Copperfield

Wives and Daughters

Victoria and Albert and Young Victoria

Mrs. Brown

Daniel Deronda

and more.

I will send pictures of the soup if I get around to it, but think maybe I will just go climb into the pallet the girls have made (pillows, blanket, candle lit, vase of flowers, water, sparkling water with juice and plenty of kleenex.)

Good health to all of you today!

Join the sober club!

Today, Sarah and I picked up Joy from working at MOPS in our neighborhood. She has us in stitches telling us stories about the 2 year olds she was taking care of today. There were stories about all sorts of body fluids--a little boy whose mom said he was being potty trained but had no diapers--only underwear--who eventually cried, sobbed, screamed twice when he has accidents and soused his clothes again and again, with Joy to clean it up. Joy was wondering if this was what most moms called "potty training." There were other stories about nose junk, bottom junk. sucking junk, kids sneezing on her, hitting each other, hitting her, screaming--and by the time we got her, she was exhausted. She has been working at MOPS for 3 years, but has just been recently assigned to one of the most challenging groups. Did you go through all of this with us? How did you make it. (Don't really know how I made it, but somehow muddled through.) I told her just to be sure not to have 10 2 year olds at once.

Life as a woman, mom, wife, can sometimes be gross, stressful, overwhelming, exhausting, boring and demanding on many levels. Sometimes moms feel guilty admitting the variety of feelings they have. Feelings are neutral--they neither define who we are or take away from our righteousness. They are just a reaction to the situation we are in.

I remember so many years when I just obeyed what I was supposed to do without feeling like doing it. Because I loved my children, I made decisions to cultivate what was best for them. Because I was committed to loving Clay, (and loving God), I acted, as a choice of my will in the best interest for Clay, by faith, not by feelings. As I look back, I am so glad that i learned to put one foot in front of the other, because usually my feelings would follow and I am grateful the Lord kept me going in the right direction by the convictions I held and followed. If I had followed all of my feelings, the results would have been disastrous.

But there are just times in life or parenting or mothering or marriage that seem overwhelming and too depleting to handle. A few years ago, Clay and I decided that when we got to this point, we needed to call a sober club meeting. It stands for:

Sick

Of

Being

Responsible

Sober-sick of being responsible

There are times that we all just have to take a break! On our sober club nights, we always do something that we want to do that is just for us--sometimes we even ask friends to join us--go to dinner, a movie, a walk in the mountains, a drive to see the city lights--music blaring, windows down--just cruising and trying to relax. We do something different--go away from the stress, from the kids. We do not talk about any of the problems or money or stress or ministry. We just relax, have fun, get away and lighten up.

With friends or my girls, it will include going to some fun cafe, buying something little or fun thing that I enjoy (Joy bought me a small package of a warm vanilla sugar candle, lotion and perfume this week on a day of our meeting! Sarah bought me a piece of dark chocolate with almonds. Sarah suggested going somewhere for a massage, stealing a few dollars from  our little drawer where we put away dollar bills each month to have on "rainy"  days.

The principle is like Sabbath. Get away from the responsibilities. Go to a park when your kids are driving you nuts. Stop having school and go do something fun. Take a nap. Watch a movie instead of doing one more chore, buy some flowers when it is snowing for 10 days straight--just shake it up a little. Life is still there tomorrow after the sober club meeting, but we all blow off a little steam and then can face the responsibilities with a little bit fresher outlook.

Sober club met today after the flurry of the conferences. Tomorrow I will get back to responsibility--but tonight I am just going to go to sleep and snuggle up in my covers.

*******************************************

Two More Great Mom Heart Conference Blog posts!

http://afieldsday.xanga.com/740733701/item/ (This one has beautiful pictures!)

http://mamahall.blogspot.com/2011/02/my-mom-heart.html

Mind your mind

"As a man thinks, so is he."

Often in our time in history, we think of worship as singing, praising and lifting our arms up to God. But to worship God means to honor Him and to place Him as our lens of focus through which we see and live all of our lives.

We are told to worship Him with our mind. Filling our minds with truth, pondering Christ, cherishing that which is holy is a part of this worship. God admonishes us to "delight ourselves in His law." Psalm 1; to hide His word in our hearts and minds; to think true thoughts.

We are told to think only on those things which are worthy of Him:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Philippians 4:8

What do you feed your mind on every day? Are you reading noble stories? Are you filling your mind with God's word? With truth? Are you rejecting thoughts that would lead you to bitterness or strife or worldliness?

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

II Corinthians 10: 5

Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ--take every wrong thought and make it a prisoner.

Worshipping God with our mind takes intention. It takes investment. It takes time.

I have never met a deeply spiritual leader who did not think deeply, clearly and well. My spiritual mentors are those who cause me to think more highly of God. They are those who sharpen me with their ponderings of God, Christ, thoughts of eternity, truth, doctrine.

You cannot build your children into those who are worthy of God, excellent in all of their ways, unless you also invest in their minds. The foundations of their thinking patterns, vocabulary, ideas must be cultivated. In the cultivating of your children's minds, when you become a steward of what they think, your own life is enriched. And so worshipping God with our minds requires a commitment, a plan, an intention.

We must mind our minds if we are to be worthy stewards of truth.

Evaluate your own thoughts today. Does my mind cherish God and treat Him as holy? Do I regularly feed my thoughts on truth? on greatness? on what is beautiful?

What do I need to do to worship Him with my mind in a more worthy way? What thoughts are causing me to sin? What do I need to confess?

May God be praised and may we grow into His likeness as we pattern our thoughts after His.