DOLPHIN TALE--OPENING DAY!

Today, take a break, shake it up a little, leave all of the responsibilities behind--take your kids to the movies.

We have many ways of bringing family values back into our world. Building our families is the best way of course--taking that time to invest in them and love them.

But, we can send a message to the powers that be that we want our children to be seeing great, moral, heroic, inspiring stories. We send a message by attending the movies and showing that we will support the efforts of those in Hollywood who are willing to listen to us! Dolphin Tale is just a sweet children's story, but it also shows an under story of a child who is failing at school who comes alive when he has real life problems to solve, real causes to get behind. He comes alive because his heart is captivated by the idea that he can do something, even as a child, to help.

Be sure to see the story, ask your children questions about the movie and it becomes a very profitable day. Enjoy and let me know what you think.

So excited that even the LA Times quoted Nathan about the need for Hollywood to do more great movies. Here is what they said:

Nathan Clarkson of the Homeschool Movie Club urged his followers to "make a statement to Hollywood to rally behind movies that 'get it right' and tell great stories without all the junk, twaddle and moral compromise!"

How fun that the Los Angeles Times quoted Nathan, my wonderful son!

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-word-20110922,0,6520273.story

And, Nathan, praying for you and hoping this is the best of days and your work is rewarding to you.

Great Friday to everyone! And thanks so much for the support!

The Fallen Kingdom of Home

"In this world you have tribulation, but take courage, I have overcome the world." Jesus

Right in the smack dab middle of Jesus loving, teaching, encouraging, and training his disciples, they simply embark on crossing the familiar lake where they have lived all of their lives, and suddenly a life-threatening storm overtakes them.

What could Jesus possibly be thinking? Does he want to lose all of his disciples at once? Is he trying to discourage them? Afterall, they had given up their whole lives to follow Him. Their hearts were dedicated to worshipping Him. They were busy serving other people---really, now this? Is this any way to treat those who are following you? And so sometimes the "whaps" on our lives feel personal, invasive, too much.

Have you ever felt that way? I have cooked. I have washed dishes. I have lost years of sleep. I have loved and served and given--does anyone notice? Does it matter? --and now this? Another storm? Another problem? The relentlessness of life is about to drown me, Lord. "Do you not care that we are perishing, Lord?" That is the question that we, like the disciples, have on our hearts.

Just when we have the ideals of our lives in place, and we have defined what the Kingdom of home is,  and we determine to commit to creating our homes as a place where the life of Christ will flourish, storms  and battles begin to overtake us, and we feel that we may be overcome.

If you are experiencing weariness of discouragement, it just means you are engaged in the battle. The battle and its raging are not a measure of your success or failure--but how you respond in the battle will determine the outcome. Often, people have said, "Well, I am glad Sally has ideals, but that is not what my life looks like and I don't even know how to get there."

My life was a constant swirl of ideals and reality, grace and storm, walking in faith, and railing against heaven--this is the picture of fighting to bring light into a dark world, and the home is no different.

I know that I am  mixing  metaphors and have moved from storms of life to the battles, but hopefully you know what I mean. But, when we determine to make our homes a place of life, Satan is determined to thwart us. Satan knows that the most precious treasure in God's economy are His children, his handmade creations--those who have souls that will last for eternity. And so the battleground for our future is at the soul level of life.

We are living in homes where the laws of thermo dynamics take place every day--that energy is depleting at a constant rate and everything is moving toward disorder. Knowing this--understanding that it will never change--and give yourself grace. Do not expect perfection. Do not condemn yourself or become angry at your children because they are not perfect.

Walk in grace. Celebrate life. Look for joy in the corners of your life. Always find a friend to pray with, to share life with, who holds your ideals and values. Know that all moms have the same issues--just different puzzles to put together.

Our children are selfish and sinful, our husbands (and even we) are fallible and imperfect; things fall apart, get broken, cost money, people are unloving, we are unsupported by the culture around us, and we lack support systems to support the ideals we believe.

In order to know how to raise godly children, we must have a refined picture of the ideals we are aiming for, but the second part of being productive in this venture of motherhood is understanding the battle. All of our homes are broken, our children are broken and without the grace of God, we will not be able to make it. But, I believe, and have seen, that with God on our side, and with faith, our labor is not in vain, and becomes a story of His power and goodness throughout eternity.

Warfare gives us such great examples. A seasoned general becomes astute in battle because he has been successful in weathering many years of battles, and has learned to fight valiantly and enduringly. An officer at war will also not be able to advance in experience and victory if he does not understand and know how to fight against his enemy.

And so, the kingdom of our home is a battlefield from others who would steal our dominion over our family.

Feeling weary or discouraged or inadequate or guilty from failing is a normal part of the process. You are in training. Engaging in the discipleship of my children became the training ground where little by little I learned what it meant to become a more mature Christian.

But remember this---it is not the people who start the race who win, but those who finish the race. So, if God calls you to ideals, and you begin running, don't give up--don't quit. Keep building a picture of your ideals, fan the flame of your vision. More soon about the tension between the vision and the reality of life and how to walk the journey with grace and peace.

I am discombobulated, writing this on the road, between an emergency with my own family. But as a battle worn, general of life, I know He will be with me. So I will pray for you, you pray for me and for my children who are targets--and if anyone can figure out how to put this article up on face book, please help me or leave a comment as I am off to speak. Love and grace to you precious ones who are in the trenches. Love and prayers going your way today!

Ruling over the Kingdom of Home

Myles Birket Foster

If you want to share this post on FB, you can go to mine now and share it from there or as a friend informed me, "I had to open up the post in a new tab or window. copy the url address, and paste it into my status update. And use www.ITakeJoy.com not the url of the specific post or it won't do it." (and be sure to choose the right pic if you can.) Thanks, everyone!

Off to Nashville. I am so sorry I won't be able to see any of you for coffee, as my friends who are having me speak are whisking me up to a Lake House and I won't be staying in Nashville. Maybe next time! Thanks for asking.

DEAR FRIENDS,

MANY OF YOU HAVE ASKED TO SHARE THIS ON FACEBOOK, BUT SOMEHOW IT IS DISALLOWING THE TITLE THE KINGDOM OF HOME, SO I CHANGED THE TITLE TO SEE IF WE CAN FIX THE PROBLEM. DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING  ON BUT IT DISAPPEARED FROM MY FB, TOO. SO SORRY. THANKS FOR SHARING IT WITH YOUR FRIENDS. I WILL KEEP TRYING TO HELP.

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Home is the place of refuge, comfort, inspiration, where great souls can be formed, work habits shaped, models of marriage, love and relationship passed on and eternal spiritual purposes are formed. One of the great losses of this century is the loss of imagination of just what a home was created by God to do.

When I consider the role of motherhood, as well as shaping my children into warriors for His kingdom purposes, I have to consider what God had in mind when he designed women, marriage, and home, as a place to raise whole hearted children. The home and the life in the home, to a great extent, determine the future of children as adults.

Becoming a mother is a role that most women are least prepared or trained to embrace and yet the role that will determine the outcome of history. Clay and I were talking about this the other night and he said, "I wonder if the mother's role might be the most determining factor in our history today as to how history will unfold. I think he could be right.

When I began to understand that the best and most lasting "work" I would ever do, was to build little souls, in my own home, for the kingdom of God, it gave me grand scope for my life. Understanding that I would be responsible for accepting them into my arms and their very health from feeding at my breasts; to emotional well-being by attaching deeply to me as an infant;  or stimulating their brains by talking with them, touching them, snuggling them and predisposing them to know the love of God by building pathways in their brain formation of love, acceptance, words of life, affection were the beginnings to my understanding of just how profound God had created the role of a mother to be.

Later when I read thousands and thousands of pages on issues that created intelligence, moral groundings, strong character, habits, vocabulary and more, social skills, leadership skills, I was challenged to my core to see that the scope of what I could give to my children was indeed profound. It is only lack of education and imagination that prevents a woman from understanding the foundational elements that would cultivate in her children a great soul.

Many have asked me if I think it is God's will for all women to homeschool.  I cannot answer that question. I could not possibly limit God's will to the choice I have made  as the only choice He will bless. I  believe that His holy spirit can work abundantly and miraculously in a myriad of situations in different countries and in a variety of historical situations through out time. God honors faith, diligence and hard work and dependence on Him. I have realized that it is not my responsibility to inform people of God's will for their lives, but as a Titus 2 woman, I believe I must teach wisdom principles that I have learned through out my life.

We must understand, however, that choices do have consequences, and one must make an educational choice for their children based on their walk with God and what would be the best choice for their children, their life puzzle and their family in mind. At the forefront of the decision is the understanding that we will have to give an account to God someday for the way we invested for His kingdom in the lives of our children. The responsibility is to parents to influence their children for Christ.

However, the reason I did choose to homeschool, is that once I understood the Biblical mandate for me as a mother,  to be accountable to God for raising these precious children for His glory, (with all of these things in mind), homeschooling seemed to me to be the best choice for our family. I knew that there was no one in the world who held the ideals, Biblical truths, and family values like Clay and I did, and no one would be able to pass on the messages and convictions that God had put on our hearts. (I believe there are excellent teachers in this world, but God had put on our hearts the very kind of education and messages we wanted to give to our children.

Seeing my children's hearts and souls as treasure chests so to speak, I prayed and pondered, how could I so invest in their lives so that they would have eternal and true values and memories, and foundations of truth and godly purpose to carry with them and to draw from the rest of their lives. This meant reading them the best books, exposing them to the best writers to store important ideas and a Biblical world view in their minds. I wanted them to have the most wonderful family traditions, values, celebrations that would keep them accountable to the foundations of our family the rest of their lives. Cultivating the gentlest and most loving relationships, the best and most personal model of valuing family life and children and passing on manners that valued and respected all human beings was essential. I planned  the broadest experiences of hearing the most wonderful stories of people, exploring God's creation from a Biblical point of view, have opportunities to work side by side with us in ministry, learn to value music and art and history and government and be given the freedom to develop their personalities and gifts to the fullest of what God had created them to be--these and more were areas that I knew no other teacher could give them as I wanted to do.

Whether a 12th floor apartment in Hong Kong, or an old weather-beaten farmhouse in England or a suburban home in America, home is the place all over the world where the scope and magnitude of souls will be shaped and nurtured. Each of us, as mothers, have the ability to create the life of God, in our own homes. We can cultivate samples of His own creativity by home art--pictures on the walls, books in baskets, arrangements of flowers and nature strewn through our rooms, books filling nooks and crannies, pianos or flutes or violins for them to practice music, paints and crayons for drawing pictures of life,--a veritable endless amounts of ways to pass on the reality of our living and vibrant God.

Time is limited and so we must evaluate our children's lives in light of how much we want to allow culture to determine their foundational values, and how much we are willing to work to pass on.

The Kingdom of Home

Myles Birket Foster

Home is the place of refuge, comfort, inspiration, where great souls can be formed, work habits shaped, models of marriage, love and relationship passed on and eternal spiritual purposes are formed. One of the great losses of this century is the loss of imagination of just what a home was created by God to do.

When I consider the role of motherhood, as well as shaping my children into warriors for His kingdom purposes, I have to consider what God had in mind when he designed women, marriage, and home, as a place to raise whole hearted children. The home and the life in the home, to a great extent, determine the future of children as adults.

Becoming a mother is a role that most women are least prepared or trained to embrace and yet the role that will determine the outcome of history. Clay and I were talking about this the other night and he said, "I wonder if the mother's role might be the most determining factor in our history today as to how history will unfold. I think he could be right.

When I began to understand that the best and most lasting "work" I would ever do, was to build little souls, in my own home, for the kingdom of God, it gave me grand scope for my life. Understanding that I would be responsible for accepting them into my arms and their very health from feeding at my breasts; to emotional well-being by attaching deeply to me as an infant;  or stimulating their brains by talking with them, touching them, snuggling them and predisposing them to know the love of God by building pathways in their brain formation of love, acceptance, words of life, affection were the beginnings to my understanding of just how profound God had created the role of a mother to be.

Later when I read thousands and thousands of pages on issues that created intelligence, moral groundings, strong character, habits, vocabulary and more, social skills, leadership skills, I was challenged to my core to see that the scope of what I could give to my children was indeed profound. It is only lack of education and imagination that prevents a woman from understanding the foundational elements that would cultivate in her children a great soul.

Many have asked me if I think it is God's will for all women to homeschool.  I cannot answer that question. I could not possibly limit God's will to the choice I have made  as the only choice He will bless. I  believe that His holy spirit can work abundantly and miraculously in a myriad of situations in different countries and in a variety of historical situations through out time. God honors faith, diligence and hard work and dependence on Him. I have realized that it is not my responsibility to inform people of God's will for their lives, but as a Titus 2 woman, I believe I must teach wisdom principles that I have learned through out my life.

We must understand, however, that choices do have consequences, and one must make an educational choice for their children based on their walk with God and what would be the best choice for their children, their life puzzle and their family in mind. At the forefront of the decision is the understanding that we will have to give an account to God someday for the way we invested for His kingdom in the lives of our children. The responsibility is to parents to influence their children for Christ.

However, the reason I did choose to homeschool, is that once I understood the Biblical mandate for me as a mother,  to be accountable to God for raising these precious children for His glory, (with all of these things in mind), homeschooling seemed to me to be the best choice for our family. I knew that there was no one in the world who held the ideals, Biblical truths, and family values like Clay and I did, and no one would be able to pass on the messages and convictions that God had put on our hearts. (I believe there are excellent teachers in this world, but God had put on our hearts the very kind of education and messages we wanted to give to our children.

Seeing my children's hearts and souls as treasure chests so to speak, I prayed and pondered, how could I so invest in their lives so that they would have eternal and true values and memories, and foundations of truth and godly purpose to carry with them and to draw from the rest of their lives. This meant reading them the best books, exposing them to the best writers to store important ideas and a Biblical world view in their minds. I wanted them to have the most wonderful family traditions, values, celebrations that would keep them accountable to the foundations of our family the rest of their lives. Cultivating the gentlest and most loving relationships, the best and most personal model of valuing family life and children and passing on manners that valued and respected all human beings was essential. I planned  the broadest experiences of hearing the most wonderful stories of people, exploring God's creation from a Biblical point of view, have opportunities to work side by side with us in ministry, learn to value music and art and history and government and be given the freedom to develop their personalities and gifts to the fullest of what God had created them to be--these and more were areas that I knew no other teacher could give them as I wanted to do.

Whether a 12th floor apartment in Hong Kong, or an old weather-beaten farmhouse in England or a suburban home in America, home is the place all over the world where the scope and magnitude of souls will be shaped and nurtured. Each of us, as mothers, have the ability to create the life of God, in our own homes. We can cultivate samples of His own creativity by home art--pictures on the walls, books in baskets, arrangements of flowers and nature strewn through our rooms, books filling nooks and crannies, pianos or flutes or violins for them to practice music, paints and crayons for drawing pictures of life,--a veritable endless amounts of ways to pass on the reality of our living and vibrant God.

Time is limited and so we must evaluate our children's lives in light of how much we want to allow culture to determine their foundational values, and how much we are willing to work to pass on.

But, I did realize that choices did have consequences and if I wanted to be the one to most determine these values, ideas, ideals, then I would have to sacrifice my own life to the benefit of their lives.

I was speaking to a mom recently who had raised all of her children and had seen them become godly young adults, passionate about their lives and about the Lord.

She said, "I don't think many are talking about Biblical sacrifice any more. When I was a mother of three and my oldest was 6, all of a sudden, I realized that if I were to embrace giving my children the finest and the best, I would have to work harder than I had been prepared to work, sacrifice my own goals and time, and invest in eternity by giving all of myself to the raising of a godly generation."

I personally was not prepared for all that it would require of me, but God expanded my capacity a little more every year as I trusted Him and learned and confessed and grew.

So, the starting point is to see our domain as a Kingdom. We are the queens who rule over our domain. We are the authorities who will determine, to a great deal, the provision of those in our kingdom, the character, the hope and confidence and success as we lead them and rule over them judiciously and generously. As sovereigns over a domain, we have the responsibility to rule over it with excellence, intentionality, shaping the outcome of the life that is lived there. A good queen always leads in the way that will provide best for those under her dominion, and so we may lead well, as we have observed many in history have done, or we may lead poorly with devastating results for those under our charge.

So, learning to embrace the vision is the beginning point of understanding the influence and capacity we have been given by God to lead, build, inspire and train a generation of kingdom workers who will bring His light to bear in their generation. But this kind of result is not happenstance.

Excellence of any kind comes from focussed intentionality. I have said over and over again, we would not throw seeds out into the wind and expect them to become a lavish, cultivated garden. And so, we must not throw our children out into the winds of a humanistic culture and expect them to become healthy, spiritual souls. We must take care for the planting, cultivating, protecting, picking out the weeds, ridding the ground  of pests, so that the garden of our children's souls might flourish and bear much fruit and beauty for eternity.

Dolphin Tale actors to call your home!

"Mom, I got to be on the red carpet!" (except it was blue!)  were the first words of Nathan's Sunday call. What an adventure he had interviewing one of the actors, seeing the rest parading upon the red carpet at the screening of Dolphin Tale last weekend.

What an blast, he said, to be at the opening and see all the fanfare and people and to see all of the stars of the movie. He even got to interview one, as you can see!

I hope all of you will remember how important it is to attend the first Friday showing of this great children's and family movie this coming Friday at a theatre near you. Showing our support will encourage further great movies as Friday's daytime showings determine so very much. Please tell all of your friends, go have lots of fun and help make a difference in our media preferences for families!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2_IKI4zjeI&feature=player_embedded

This is an interview of the star in the movie, Cozi.

As a thank you for all of your help, Nathan has told me he could have one of the child stars, both very strong believers, call your children in your home to talk to them and to answer questions and to encourage them.

One lucky reader will be chosen to receive a phone call from one of the young stars of Dolphin Tale! Both of these kids are from a homeschool support group in California.

To enter, you must:

Take a picture of your family or group at the theater for Homeschool Day

Send the picture to homeschoolmovieclub@gmail.com

Use the subject line "Itakejoy.com" homeschool day contest (there are only 4 bloggers doing this!

Contest ends at Saturday, 9/24 at 5:00 p.m. (Entries submitted after this will not be accepted.)

Tell your friends about this fun opportunity! Hope it is you! :)

Enjoy!

Our winners of the last giveaway are:

Rachel Priest of

Villa Ricardo, GA 30180 and

Christina Puntigam of

Plymouth, MI 48170

Today, I am amidst mixed-up seasons of life

Fall marks the inevitability of the changes that blow through our lives.

The colors of leaves begin to change, as a gentle warning that life and seasons are changing. Usually, I love fall, but I find this fall hard to bear. It had to happen, but it doesn't make it any easier.

I am grieving and inefficient in my life. Grieving the loss of my mother and the position she once played in my life. Grateful for what she taught me and modeled to me in my early years and for her generous spirit. Mothers can be the one who have a heart especially for you and your needs. The one who says, "You are working too hard! You need a break." or " I was thinking about you and I have a little gift for you." (or I want to take you out to lunch, or I am praying for you, or whatever it is that others do not always remember to do in your life--that is what a mother can be and do.)

I am grieving for what can never be again, for what was not there, for things that can never be made whole.

I am grieving because after 27 years of having my sweet, precious children underfoot and needing me, they are all quite independent and not underfoot. Sarah left and I miss her. Joy is driving herself to college and all the other activities that she is in (2 jobs, a play, a discipleship group and college classes), and so I do miss having my sweet ones here with me, needing me.

I am grateful to see my children thriving. I am grateful to hear their thoughts and ideas and goings and comings. I am a blessed woman. I am happy that Joy is flourishing and got an A on her first college math test--this from a family of artsy people. I am thankful she still comes home at night and I can enjoy her sweet friendship.

I am teaching a monthly mom's group, a leadership group and a once a week mom's Bible study. I am still immersed in scripture and love these women who are in my life. I love my sweet friends who I still share life with--(French cafe, breakfast with pastries, strong coffee, and an hour at IKEA yesterday.)

I am preparing to travel to Tennessee to do another Leadership Intensive with precious friends from 20 years ago and that makes me grateful, that we can all be together in ministry again.

I will spend 3 days with my friend who is like a sister, Gwen. We will sit in her home and cook and read and talk about life and be still in the beauty of a life-long sister-type of friendship, as we take care of her 96 year old mom. She became family for my children when my family disappeared from their lives. She sent cards, Christmas presents, birthday presents, and loved my children when they needed someone besides me.  We, who were missionaries together as young women in Poland, have a lot of memories, faith stories and love and grace between us.

I am praying about helping Clay to find the right surgeon for his back and we are asking for wisdom to do invasive surgery or less invasive--we don't know which to choose. Both will cost us thousands and thousands of dollars as we are a small ministry and do not have great insurance. (pre-existings have also hindered the process.) I am praying for God to supply the needed funds.

I am seeking an oral surgeon for Joy as she needs immediate surgery on her wisdom teeth. Praying for timing since Clay also needs me in his surgery. Praying for more funds to pay for her teeth. (All 4 coming in at once and she has no room and it is all painful.)

I am contemplating my life, what has been good, how to simplify, what to cut out, how to escape the bonds and definition I have lived in and see my life with new eyes. What would He have me do the next season of my life? What does He want from me most? What will life look like now.

I am praying that my children will find godly and matching soul-mates soon and for grandchildren and that they will all love Jesus every day.

I am going for my Saturday morning walk downtown this morning, but this time after 8 years, I will do it by myself. But it is a beautiful day and I know I will find joy.

Cultivating Civility

Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil. C. S. Lewis

As I pursue the idea of building foundations of truth and beauty and loveliness into the souls of our children, I have to say that we cannot pass on what is not a part of our own lives. A mom is the CEO of her home, the one who determines and cultivates the life, activities, values and soul, she must be working from the depth of her own soul. This is a long term call--a long distance run, and so pacing ourselves, making sure our own emotional cups are full, seeing that we are growing in grace and beauty is essential to modeling that to our children. I will be more intent on writing about how to build foundations in little ones, but first I would suggest that a mom must define, "What kind of a woman do I want to be? How can I become more excellent? How I am doing on growing more in grace and civility each day?" I suggest that each year, moms who want to grow in wisdom, must take a morning or afternoon away to think through personal goals for themselves and the plan in time to make those goals happen. I will be writing more about that after I finish writing about how to establish values that build children into strong, godly leaders. But, first, you must define who you want to be, so that the influence you give to your children will come from your own soul-set values and convictions. Below I share a story of my own life from a few years ago--and I see that my children love it when I am a picture of civility--it draws them to their finer selves! Enjoy.

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Excitement bubbled up inside as I considered the day I had charted for myself. A morning away as a real, live friend, around my own age! Carefully applying my make up, smoothing my hair to its most beautiful style and dressing up in something a bit more sophisticated than my regular jeans marked an adult day out with a beloved friend. Time away from my work-a-day world of children, dishes, teaching, writing and then doing it all over again, is rare. I am one who sometimes likes the predictable on such days--depending on those places I know will bring pleasure and comfort. Meeting my friend in a favorite cafe promised to provide a spot for catching up and sharing dreams and ideas. Now the reason I am telling you this is that I was looking for a day off--a day without conflict, a day of rest before the "busy-ness"  of the year starts again!

High-backed, overstuffed chairs provided privacy from the other customers and just the settling in we needed for our morning together. A steamy pot of tea, warm apple-caramel coffee cake all went down easily. Times like this help me to find my center. A busy and passed-too-fast summer had left me a bit fragmented and out of breath. I was storing up this pleasure and goodness and relaxation against the very busy next few months of a new school year, which is upon me!

After an hour and a half of conversation, we were ready to proceed on to our next pleasure--a stop at a lovely gift shop, filled to the brim with china tea cups and pots, delectable bits of jams and jellies and tea; a beautiful array of cook books and biographies and children's books, feminine clothing and an array of other girl-pleasing artifacts. We hoped to exchange some ideas with the owner about books and art and other future projects.

Just walking in was a pleasant sensate experience, because of all the pretty and fine gifts scattered around the shop. As we chatted with the store owner about our day and some of the books and one of my new projects, she engaged with us in lively conversation. I looked at my watch and realized that I needed to be home to take Joy to a choir practice and so I tried to savor my few minutes as of quiet heart-sharing with my friend. We left the shop and I drove home. Much to my pleasure, the traffic was much less than usual and I found myself home with a half-hour to spare.

I chose not to glance in the kitchen to see what messes were there, but instead, made myself a cup of hot tea. I knew the messes would be there to tame when we all got back home later. I walked over the backpack and a small stack of books on my stairs to my bedroom. They could be cleaned up before dinner. I walked in, lit my candles, turned on my cd with the soothing piano melodies rising and flowing from my Pride and Prejudice cd (very beautiful, by the way!). Joy, who had been in her room reading, heard me and gently knocked on my door.

"Come in, sweetness!" I responded. "Here, have a few sips of tea with me before we have to leave."

She sat down, and began to bubble all over me with thoughts and ideas and incidences that had happened in her morning. I intentionally took a deep breath and observed with thanksgiving at my child who has so much become my delightful friend. We had fifteen minutes together in peace and pleasure.

"Mom, I am so glad you take time for civility--it makes me feel special, and most of all, it really makes me feel like you like listening to me and just celebrating life together." (Has she been around Sarah lately? And now, she regularly lights candles, sips tea and reads--hummmm--where did she get the habit?)

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I taught my monthly mom's group and we were discussing chapter 8 in Mission of Motherhood. Our topic was becoming the gardener of your children's souls. Even as you would not expect a garden to emerge from throwing a handful of seeds into the wind into your back yard, so we cannot expect our children to have excellence in their own personal lives by just hoping it happens. Though education is important, it is mostly the way we invest in the other moments of life when our children's souls, manners, habits, skills will determine who they really become. When we become the gardener of their souls, we plant beauty, memories, confidence, and  winsome ways of living that  will capture their own imaginations. (Mission of Motherhood)

First, we must take time to be civilized. I know that my soul dries out if I don't plan in time that fills my own emotional cup. Getting away from my home (where all the chores cry out my name!), to a lovely place where I can think or read or share time with a friend is something I try to plan into my schedule. It doesn't happen as often as I like, but I need it so that I can get back to my center and fill the cups of all those who are in my life to take from my own heart--children, husband, friends, and ministry. I will have nothing to give if I don't take care of myself first. So each year as I plan my children's needs and schedules and activities, I take time to get alone and evaluate, "How am I doing--physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally? How can I simplify my responsibilities so that I can make it with grace through the next months.

Next, though, I make sure to plan in civilizing times with my family--traditions like family dinners or deserts that we will share with our friends, special Sunday afternoon tea times--the first Apple Pie time with a story book. (Giving my children the responsibility of decorating the dining table, writing little notes of encouragement  to their guests who will come, lighting the candles, making the meal.) We plan a time for making cookies or bread or flower baskets to share with those we know who are in need of encouragement or love. (We found cute pumpkin baskets and filled them with dried flowers--Joy sold a few to raise money for a dog she hopes to purchase and then we chose two for special family friends who need to know they are appreciated.)

Plan civility into the moments of your life this fall. Make time for you to have your own experience, however small, that will remind you that you are royalty--as a child of the king. And then, make time for your family, to have peace and beauty and manners and elegance in your home, however small. It will produce a soul that values taking the time to celebrate the importance and intimacy of friendship and fellowship. Happy weekend!

Building Strong Foundations

Hallstatt, Austria

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock.Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and great was its fall.” Matthew 7:24-27

Many years ago, I was a young, lonely missionary living in Vienna, Austria. German had rung in my ears for hours each day as I attended a language class every day. New to the language, I would often get my sentences wrong and so people would end up shouting at me or speaking at a very high pitch, somehow thinking I would understand better if they yelled. I was not deaf--just not good at the language.

Plotting a getaway, so that I could temporarily flee from the stress of my week, I planned a weekend retreat at a little mountain town in the Austrian Alps with my best friend. Mounting a train with books, chocolate, a back pack and jammies, we snuggled into the warm compartment as we swayed back and forth through the ominous, gigantic giants towering over us.

Finally, we were told to get out of the train. Before us was merely a small trail leading down to a crystal mountain lake. The conductor pushed us forward as though he knew what he was doing. We scrambled down the thin, weather-beaten stairs, and as soon as we got to the bottom, near the lake, as tiny motor boat came putting up to the dock. The driver of the boat waved us in and immediately began the short trip back to the other side. We found out later that this boat was a part of the mountain train system and carried passengers every day from the train to the little, charming mountain town.

After having dinner on a small porch that was on top of the water, (look in the picture for the pink hotel on the left--that is where we were.), we climbed into the puffy, squishy, eider-down (goose feather) comforters and fell fast asleep from the weariness of the week.

A couple of hours later, we were awakened with a big boom. Suddenly as we opened our eyes, we saw the lights out the window of the whole town go dark. As we sat up, we realized we were in the midst of a severe, pounding rain storm. We both crawled in the darkness to window and all we could see were dark silhouettes of the mountain with sheets of rain blowing sideways. As our eyes grew accustomed to the darkness, we looked down and saw that the porch where we had eaten was covered in the water of the lake with porch furniture floating all around.

Suddenly, a flash of lightening filled the black night sky, and we saw across the lake where we had dismounted. There, amidst the blowing torrents of rain and the waves of the sea splashing 10-20 feet high, we saw a small rock castle a still, dark shadow, standing fast against the storm.  Immoveable, firm amidst all the rest that was blowing and moving.

The next morning, as I was reading my Bible, the verses, "He who builds on the rock will not be shaken." And now I had a visual picture of the one who built his house on the rock.

Storms will come, and as a matter of fact, I feel like we are living in a very stormy time---immorality, wickedness, voices from every corner of the world tempting us to look to someone or something else for security, materialism, pornography,  the break-down of marriage, relative values, humanism. The flashes of lightening and the thunder of the world seem to accost at every point.

Yet, there is a promise that if one builds his house on the rock, the simple, profound, instructive truth of Jesus' words, he will be wise and will weather the storms.

I wish all of my children would get married, have lots of children and move in next door. They are my favorite people and best friends. How I would love for our lives to reflect the fairy tale of family I have always dreamed. (And, by the way, I am still praying for this.)

But the reality is, we are living in challenging times, and God has chosen this part of history in which we were to be alive, training our children for the world they will inherit.

So, the beginning point for our children is to build strong, firm, foundations--emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually--to build these soul foundations on the rock, so that they will be able to stand firm and strong.

However, since most women do not know the Bible well and aren't sure what foundations to build on, and when often Christians are so divided on the subject of Biblical mothering, it can be confusing to know how to build. Even in our churches the messages of truth are confusing, and sometimes divisive. The lines are drawn in different places.

Yet, when I look back on my life as a mom, and embraced the stewardship of pouring into my children, I found Biblical principles that guided me. Scripture is very clear in most cases, but many people are just not ready to obey scripture and so compromise with permission from other Christians to live above Biblical wisdom.

Yet, Jesus was very clear and instruction We must obey His truths and teach them. His teachings aree simple and clear.

But herein lies  the tension--there is a necessary sacrifice of the mom's life to build these ideals. They do not just happen from a ten to fifteen minute devotional a day. The principles must be a part of the moms life, part of her instruction to her children and then the air of the truth must be breathed in and out, morning, noon and night , so that the child's very soul will be shaped on the truths, the principles of wisdom, godly choices, and convictions, all which take years and years to build. Building a foundation takes time, hard work and energy and patience.

So, a foundation must be planned out and carefully built. The soundness of all great structures rest on the foundation. And so we must build the foundation of our children's souls on solid, firm, immoveable rock, truths that are timeless. We must be students of the words and the truths, we must ingest them deep in our own souls, as a teacher cannot pass on that which is not first hers.

The storms of our lives and our children's lives come mainly through the voices of the world, and cleverly deceptive and persuasive--the foolishness of the world and the destruction that the world brings but does not bely until it is too late.

So we begin with defining the foundations that must be built, the truths that must be understood. Foundations will be the first area to be laid in building strength so that our children will grow up to have a solid foundation that will support every storm and wind that comes their way, to cultivate them to be able to champion God's causes in the midst of the storms their lives will bring.

Building Kingdom-minded children

Kostenko

Peddling as fast as their short pudgy legs would pump, two ruddy faced, puffing and deeply intent little boys came racing up beside me on red bikes to   see who could reach me first.

"Hey, mam, what is the name of your dog? Can we pet it?"

I was out for a late Sunday afternoon walk on a glorious Colorado day with my golden retriever, Kelcey.

Chattering, laughing, petting, "How old is this dog? She's big!" and "Where do you live? We found an amazing hill to race our bikes on, but we won't run over you," burst forth the words one on top of another. The glory of young manhood was at its best.

Oh, how I love childhood years. Each day is a miracle.

I am writing to you, little children, because your sins have been forgiven you for His name’s sake. ¹³ I am writing to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning. I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. I have written to you, children, because you know the Father. I have written to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning. I have written to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one. I John 2:12-14

The Bible seems to divide the life of people into three phases. Childhood, young adulthood and adulthood, according to my sweet learned husband. Both the Old Testament refers to words that describe such an age as well as the New Testament, as seen here in John.

In our home, we treated our children differently at each phase. Each new level of life came with new training and responsibility in order to give them a heart for our King and for His kingdom. I believe that there are many paths to teach these principles, but no matter what path you take, it all involves very intentional and purposeful training and planning.

Warrior building will be a theme in my writing for the next few days and how a home brings life to the faith, the dreams, and the scope of character to a child's life. Helping our children to understand and perceive that they are quite influential and made to be quite crucial in extending the influence of the Kingdom of God in their lifetime is a foundational theme that must be taught and embraced  in their inner being and self-image, from the point of view of God's design and purpose for them. But this perception comes about with intentionality. The home is God's perfect place for passing on these eternal values. Crafting such a home is an art and one of the greatest calls a mother can fulfill. And so I will delight in writing all about what I have learned.

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I wanted to extend my heart-felt thanks for so many emails, comments, facebook comments and tweets. I am so blessed to be in such a great company of kindred spirits. There are times that the buzz of my personal life overwhelms me. I am just a mom and wife and love my home and family. I get thousands of emails, comments, tweets, fb comments a month. I receive about 20-30 requests for speaking engagements, about 15-20 requests for book endorsements or promote my blog requests, and so may other letters and questions. I am so honored to have so many wonderful friends who read and participate in ministry with our family in encouraging and reaching other families.

However, I find myself beyond my limits and am continually seeking to find a centered life, with my priorities somewhat balanced with my Lord, my husband, my children and my local teaching. (I am currently teaching 3 Bible studies, as my passion is discipleship.)

I am so very sorry  I am not able to answer all of my requests and letters. How I would love to have each of you in my home for a cup of tea, where we could truly visit and share our heart issues. Please forgive me if it seems I may have neglected you. It is not intentional. I am just trying to stay faithful to keeping a quiet life at home. But I do pray for my sweet friends and readers, that you will find Him, our gracious Father, to be ready to instruct, love, encourage and sustain you in your own homes, and that my words will encourage you just a little along this path. May He bless you abundantly this day.

A secret place of power

Nicolaes Maes A woman praying

("Mama, mama, look at the cat! The old woman is praying and she doesn't know that the cat is going to pull everything off the table!" came the giggling voice of Sarah as a child.)

“But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."

This morning, these words above capture me. My Father is waiting for me in secret. He longs for me to come to Him, to tell Him of my secrets. To confess my sin, my weaknesses, fears, vulnerability, my selfishness.

Dreams matter to him because I am his beloved child. Perhaps he even placed them there. Perhaps He wants to expand them.

To think of Him waiting and willing to answer, to love me, to talk to me to respond--to change the course of history because I came to Him, my Father.

Oh, to leave Him waiting with me not showing up.

Oh, Father. Thank you for waiting for me here, my secret place with you, where you do not allow anyone else to interrupt, or bother us. You are so very considerate to make this time for me. I come to you as a little girl, I am here to be your beloved daughter. May you know how very grateful I am to have you all to myself. I love you, my dearest of all dearest Fathers.