Momheart conferences 2012--Register now!

Often, I am asked about my secrets of motherhood. “What did you do to open and win your children’s hearts, and fill them with God’s truth? How do you hold their hearts now as they move into young adulthood? What is your secret?” I always smile a little because I know there’s less to my perceived success as a mother than meets the eye and ear in my books, blogs, and talks. I have told many stories about my mothering exploits, and shared many biblical insights about motherhood, but they really all boil down to only a few key things I have done in my 28 years of mothering. Three simple secrets that enabled me to open, fill, and hold my children’s hearts. They are the personal commitments of what I will call heartshaping motherhood. My message for you this year is simple, straightforward, and uncomplicated. I am determined that no one will go home wondering whether or not they can be the mother God wants them to be. You can be! That’s my message. You can be confident. And no matter how complicated motherhood may seem at times, or how complex the maze of motherhood experts and advice may become, at the heart of everything you do for your children can be three simple commitments that will keep you on track. I want to share those three commitments with you (my “secrets”) because I believe they can change you and, even more important, your children.

Each year, I am more convinced than the one before that the world is ready for–indeed, is in desperate need of–a restoration of biblical motherhood. Young women today are entering the sacred calling of motherhood often with no model to emulate, no teaching on God’s design to follow, and no community of mothers from which to draw strength. This Mom Heart Conference is just one thing I can do to partner with the Spirit of God to renew the hearts of mothers. I hope you can join me.

I wanted to get this information out to all of you as soon as I could, because there is a great deal for the end of November registration deadline! Not only will you get $10 off of the regular registration price, you will also recevie a $10 voucher for the Book Table!

The Heartshaping Mom ~ How to Open, Fill, and Hold Your Child’s Heart

A MID-WINTER GETAWAY FOR YOU!

with Sally Clarkson & friends Wholehearted mother, author, blogger, and speaker

Now in our 15th year of ministering to mothers! Since 1998, this two-day conference and getaway has been a bright light in the gray days of winter for thousands of Christian moms in nearly 50 conferences in eight states. Sally Clarkson is a faithful champion for biblical motherhood, and this year her message for moms is personal and powerful. She will share her life-learned heartshaping secrets for how to open, fill, and hold the hearts of your children. She will be joined by other moms who share her passion for motherhood in messages, testimonies, and panel discussions.

Get away with us for fellowship and inspiration! You need to be with other wholehearted mothers like you! You need to be able to laugh and cry and shout and sigh about the same experiences. Come be refreshed, revived, and restored by being around other moms who want the same thing for their children that you want for yours. In addition to Sally’s and her guest speakers’ messages, this conference also includes practical workshops, inspirational worship, special media presentations, a lovely banquet luncheon, book tables, and more. Please join us

MOM HEART CONFERENCE ~ Denver/COS, CO

January 20-21, 2012 Denver Marriott South at Park Meadows, Littleton, CO

http://www.wholeheart.org/mhc2012-co/

MOM HEART CONFERENCE ~ Irvine/OC, CA February 3-4, 2012 Irvine Marriott Hotel, Irvine, CA

http://www.wholeheart.org/mom-heart-conference-2012-irvineoc-ca/

MOM HEART CONFERENCE ~ Irving/DFW, TX February 17-18, 2012 Dallas Marriott Las Colinas, Irving, TX

http://www.wholeheart.org/mom-heart-conference-2012-irvingdfw-tx/

Registration dates vary by location. Please check your city for specific dates.

Early Registration: $89.00 (see Super Early Registration Bonus below *) Regular Registration: $99.00

* Super Early 15 Year Celebration Registration Bonus! Register by November 30 and receive a $10.00 book table voucher! If you register by November 30, your $10.00 voucher will be included with your registration packet at the conference. You will not receive a coupon in the mail. Usable only at the conference book table. Not transferable. Offer expires November 30 at 11:59pm MT

For more information, full details, hotel information about conferences please visit:

http://www.wholeheart.org/

I miss my best friends

Nathan, who prayed for "one more baby, mom", playing with that baby

We cultivate beauty in our homes, we make sweet memories, we cook and celebrate birthdays and develop night-time rituals, cuddle up in beds and shared hearts, read a gazillion books huddled up on the couch, share favorite moves, wash a zillion dishes to wild music, cry together, live life together in close, deep friendship, so that wherever our children go into the world, they might have a treasure chest full of love, truth, beauty and life.

The only problem is, and Clay and I did not fully understand,  that it knits our hearts inextricably together,  through an invisible soul thread to their hearts, so that when they are off pursuing the adventure God has prepared for them, it leaves a big hole that no one else can fill, because our best friends are far away.

I am blessed beyond measure with sweet friends all over the world, but in the shaping of my children, I was building my very own best friends and I miss them. I am "being busy" and carrying off a good front, I think. But I cannot wait until we are us again, the Clarksons. This is my gang, this is where I most belong--wherever my best friends are.

When I was in Pennsylvania, Joy wrote on her facebook a message that said, "I miss my peeps, and I wish you would all come home." And Sarah said, "me, too, can't wait till we are together again." And Joel responded the same and it did my mother heart good to see my children, unprompted, longing for the same thing that is in my own heart. We all belong together.

Building requires a plan, and a whole lot of work

The Biltmore, Asheville, North Carolina

The wise woman builds her house, the foolish woman with her own hands, tears it down. I have often said, in my conferences, that when the building of a whole family, a history, a legacy of believers who will have an impact for godliness in the world captures the imagination of a woman, she will have a work to pursue, a vision to inspire her soul, that will last for a lifetime.

A wise woman knows that to build a house for God that will last generations, she must have a detailed plan. A woman can merely build a poorly constructed condominium or shack, or she can build a large, beautiful, functional estate, so to speak. The grand estate of influence, will obviously take much more work and planning, many more years to accomplish, but will accomodate literally thousands of people for generations. It just depends on the scope of her vision.

This house building will require hours and hours of blood sweat and tears. To be built well, it requires a detailed and artistic plan, and the plan will need to be reworked and adjusted and corrected along the way. Simply put, the building of  grand estate of righteousness will require her whole life and diligence and sacrifice for all of her days. And yet, so many just want it to be simple or over because they never knew or understood the scope and requirements.

Consequently, the foolish woman tears down her own home, not intentionally, most women do not mean to leave a legacy of broken children with scars of anger, lack of training and purpose. But they never knew how to build and were not willing to do what it took to build, because they were side swiped by the storm of it all.

But, let us understand, the foolish women tears down her opportunity to build, and will be held accountable by God, for what she built as he entrusted precious, eternal human beings into her hands, to shape for His kingdom and to learn His love and ways.

The problem with motherhood and the need for women to build godly estates of godly leaders in their homes, through multiple children that a woman will invest her life into, is that most women had no training, preparation or education of what it would take or how much it would cost them. Most just got married with the hope that someone would love them and take care of them and provide security and affirmation, and then babies came, and overwhelmed them.  They had never been trained for the job, never seen it modeled when they grew up,  never had a vision for how powerful a house (family) for God could be or how much work it would take.

So, life came along and so did the babies,  and overwhelmed and sweet women who have never had the opportunity to build a vision with a plan, find themselves up to their eyeballs in details and duties and the caring of babies without the support or input, accountability or help from experienced women who have built godly legacies. The greatest job in the world, that will indeed influence what our nation becomes, as the children of now become the legacy of adults for the next generation--and yet, no time or effort has been invested to educate or prepare these precious and significant leaders, moms, how to do it. And our churches ignore this important, Biblical call, and it just fades into nothingness in the priority the focus of woman's ministries in our generation. Satan would love nothing more than for us to minimize the importance of deeply investing our time and lives into the minds, hearts, souls and training of our children, because he knows they are essential to bringing the kingdom of God to bear in their generation.

For most moms, it is like facing a tornado and storms of life  or a battlefield for souls,  with no skills, preparation or resources or protection or help--the tornado of the present demands and the battles just takes over.

I have also observed that sweet ones want an immediate fix for this moment right now, the present emergencies of life, instead of understanding that this is a very long term project and much care must be given to the broad range of building. Planning must not be based on the emergency and immediate need, but on the long term building and work and endurance until the project is completed.

Planning is the key to what will be built and planning requires thought and time.

Today, this week, step aside from life and check what you are building. Simplify your plan, create the essentials, the rhythms that need to be established to get the work done, cut out the unnecessary expenditures of time and energy and money that are not necessary to the overall building and be sure to plan in rest every week along the way.

After coming home from 4 days of a wonderful conference, with lots of stimulation and ideas, I am home today, reworking my own plan of what I am building and will build in the year to come, and evaluating what is necessary, what my limitations are and what I can realistically complete.

May God bless your planning and vision, for without a plan, nothing great can be built.

I can't not write and I am bubbling with excitement

A few years ago, Nathan adventured to the New York Film Academy where he had received a scholarship. Fearful of him making it there as a believer, I spent a lot of time on my knees and made a lot of calls. But, as it ends up, God lives in New York, too, and he did just fine through all the tests and trials, he stayed strong.

After a couple of months there, he called me one day and said, "You know, Mom, I feel like I fit in for the first time in my life. I am surrounded by dreamers and artists and people who don't think it is crazy to talk about music, books, ideas, and who have an international view of life. I feel like I belong with the people who are visionary like me."

That is why I am excited. I am attending a conference this weekend with 200 women who write blogs. Writers cannot not write. I am writing an article in the shower, when I am in the car, when I walk. I love to think and I love to express it.

And so you can imagine how much talking, chattering, opinions flying, ideas going around, I will meet with this week--with others who think about life in terms of writing and communicating.

Blogging is an easy outlet for me because every time I read or have a quiet time, I want to share what i have been thinking, and so blogging is in some ways, a journal for me.

So I am excited that I get to go to a place where the real me will be the norm! :) This is what I met this morning on the way to the airport--winter wonderland and snow and foggy skies. But it is already an adventure--just to see if I actually get to take off and make it to Harrisburg to the Relevant Conference.

I wish all of you a good day and the opportunity to be with those who think and behave in the same manner as you!

Which personalities are the most acceptable?

spotty or

striped?

quiet or loud? Intellectual or artistic? orderly or inspirational? driven or gentle? Humorous or serious?

"Do not be conformed to the world, but be transformed." Romans 12: 1

Early one morning, my chatterbox little boy ran into the room, jumped on the couch next to me, snuggled and said with a sparkle, "Come on, admit it, mama! You must love me the best because I am the most fun of all your kids."

Followed by, "Nuh huh! She loves me best because I help her the most and you just get into trouble!"

And so the conversation escalated. My answer, "I love you the Nathanest! I love you the Joy-est!" You each have a place in my heart that only you can fit.

Personality--what a strange animal!

Perhaps you prefer one type of personality, and some personalities are surely easier to deal with. But the reality is, all personalities are holy to the Lord.

God gave me two introverts and two extroverts and a variety of different issues in between to shepherd. He expanded my soul and stretched me by challenging me to look at them from His eyes.

We live in a world that values conformity. We want to use our force, our power, our authority to make people, and our children, fit into the box. Be good. Be tame. Be moral. Don't bring attention to yourself. Don't contend or question the norm.

I remember a time when Nathan had brought some boys home from a class he was taking. A mile high pile of chocolate chip cookies, just out of the oven, was the enticement for them to stay around in my kitchen and jabber. One of the boys always called me, "Dude, mama." From him, it was a compliment. I had attained approval.

As they were talking, they said, "We thought Nathan was so weird when he first came into our class. He walked up to the teacher and introduced himself and said he was looking forward to being in the class. We all thought, 'Everyone knows you don't speak to a teacher in front of everyone else."

He then went on to say, "All of us learned by third grade to fit in, don't do anything that would call attention to yourself or you would be bullied by the whole group, all of your peers gang up against anyone who is different---everyone is supposed to fit in. So when Nathan comes and doesn't care what people think and makes friends with everyone, even the teachers, it blew our grid of norm.Truly, for a while, everyone thought he was a weirdo."

Quietness but fire underneath fits the description of one child, while steady Freddy, slow but dependable; funny, in your face charming, another. All have pushed my buttons through the years, but they have humbled me, too, in a good way. I now know for sure that I cannot control my children--they are free agents with a will and desires and dreams, all unique to the call on their lives and the personalities God gave them.

But, no matter the personality, I am called to shepherd them to love God, to teach and train them to have the character underneath that they will need to complete the tasks God gives them to do in their life time.

Most important, though, as a mom, I am called to control but to release them into His hands, as they are, to live out their uniqueness in a world that needs them to sparkle as God made them.

Nathan called me yesterday and said, "Hey, guess what, I got a new commercial with Nike! Keep praying, mom. God is opening doors."

This from the child who never fit into the box--always dreamed of something bigger, some way to influence the world. We are still waiting to see and spending time on our knees, but if I had followed the advice of those in the world who just knew "God's will" for us and told me to spank Nathan more, to make him fit in, I would never have seen God's will, would never had known the story of God shaping a young man's soul to be passionate for Him, to have the courage  to dream, and  to love him unconditionally with his stripes and spots--just as God had made him.

Training--the key to a godly character

Hey Sweet Momma, You're tons of fun and a great cook. Joy

Awakening to the darkness of an early day, I sleepily sauntered into the kitchen to make my early morning cuppa. Joy had thought ahead and placed this napkin message on the place she knew I would be making her breakfast. Taking her an early cup of tea each morning to awaken her and then making a hot breakfast of some kind and sending her off to her college classes with a prayer and a verse is our way around here these days. It is my way of filling her heart cup just a little before she forays off into the world of clashing values, a variety of challenges and people.

Showing what is in her own heart, gratefulness and the willingness to give back to me, is what warmed me when I found her sweet note. Gratefulness is not a natural character trait--it must be trainend, modeled, lived, practiced, cultivated.

So it is with all character. I often think that women that I speak with don't get the picture of discipleship. Their minds think like this, "I clothe my children, I provide their basic needs, we go to church, we have a fairly Christian home, and I think it is enough for my children.

However, when I picture my children's souls as a garden and realize that greatness of character must be planted, cultivated, fertilized, watered, protected, removing weeds and bugs and all that would kill the garden of their soul, I understand that discipleship is very intentional. It must be a daily, moment by moment endeavor. It is a way of life input. Excellence of character is not an accident. It is a purposed goal, and it must be trained over and over and over.

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

I was reading an article about brains and it goes so well along with this verse. When children are very young, we can create pathways, deep highways of thoughts in their brains. We teach a truth and then we repeat it and then we practice it and so on, and each time a word and concept are repeated, it is like going over the path again and it creates deeper pathways and broader highways of brain patterns, and when the brain integrates new ideas or words, it immediately goes to the pathway already established in order to integrate an idea. So the more we train, talk, verbalize, and give our children food for thought about this concept where they speak back and interact more about an idea, the more clearly this concept is set.

I love it when science elucidates biblical principles--train up a child, over and over and over and in many different ways and in many different scenarios, and when he is old, it will be the first go to response of the adult because it is a deep pathway in his mind.

That is why children must be attended to by their parents---otherwise the soil of their hearts will just be subject to whatever else is planted their if the intentional planting and gardening is not well established. Whatever is planted, fertilized, watered and given sunlight will grow deep roots in their souls.

So many children just have fallow ground for their heart--not much intentionally planted, and so seeds and weeds and blown in by the wind and take over the uncultivated ground.

Training, then, will be the topic of some of my near articles, in between all the rest of life issues as I write about them.

So, today, what do you want to plant? What character qualities do you want to harvest in the lives of your self and in your own children?

 

Straining to hear His voice today, so grateful He is here

We need silence to be alone with God, to speak to him, to listen to him, to ponder his words deep in our hearts.  We need to be alone with God in silence to be renewed and transformed.  Silence gives us a new outlook on life.  In it we are filled with the energy of God himself that makes us do all things with joy.  Mother Teresa need silence to be alone with God, to speak to him, to listen to him, to ponder his words deep in our hearts.  We need to be alone with God in silence to be renewed and transformed.  Silence gives us a new outlook on life.  In it we are filled with the energy of God himself that makes us do all things with joy.  Mother Teresa

A few years ago, one of my children was spending time getting to know a friend who seemed a possible candidate for a serious relationship. However, when spending time with this precious one, she seemed to be interested only in herself. She talked all the time, spoke of herself all the time, and never engaged anyone else with a question or interest in their lives.

I am a bit shy at heart. I do not easily reveal what is going on inside and honestly, it is rare for someone to take the time to talk to me about what is going on inside of me. I realized then, that I feel closest to those who want to know me personally. One who takes the time to ask my questions that engage my heart, my interests, my dreams--someone who wants to hear from the inner most part of my heart--this is the one I grow to love, because a conversation between two souls will take place.

And so, I realized it must be with God. If anyone had anything to say, it must be Him, all wisdom and truth--and so I realized, I need to go into His presence, not always talking about myself, but to be there to listen, to seek His heart, to know His perspective.

But to do this, I have to stop--the noise, the voices, the people, the responsibilities.

Oh, God, let me hear you today.

A Miracle in the form of a Macbook Air--and angel in a Mac shirt

Sooooooooo, this has been an adventuresome and challenging couple of months. End of July, I spoke at a conference in Houston. August started with a leadership intensive in my home for 32 leaders from all over, then off the next weekend to a family day weekend with our kids in California, where we were notified that my sweet mom died. Then, travel to Oklahoma for the memorial and burial, then drive to Texas for clearing out her house and dividing up the "stuff" and then driving in a rental truck 820 miles home. Pack Joel off in a move to Los Angeles. Pack Sarah up and move her to southern Colorado. Sarah then had a friend who rolled her car 3 times and totaled it, then she had a wreck in the conference van she was driving for Summit Ministries and a truck plowed into the back of her car while she was stopped, followed by a ruptured ear drum and visit to the clinic. Joy needed surgery, which was eventually postponed while I took Clay to different appointments for his surgical procedure. Then surgery and the last 10 days of nursing, falling, having pain, sleepless nights and a trip to the emergency room and now anemia. Holding it all together amidst articles, meals, house-keeping, ministry, plane tickets, more trips ahead and deadlines and being mom to all the various needs of my children.

Sometimes, I have observed, that when I am seeking to walk with God, bearing under lots of stress by faith, seeking to have a strong and resilient spirit, I have not known just how tired I am or how vulnerable, I am until something unravels me unexpectedly.. When I am running at full pace without a break, I  don't have time to think about how I am doing--just no time to think about myself.

Then there was yesterday. My computer had died on Tuesday, and I need my computer for almost everything I do. Finally, got a call from the store yesterday and said, "Come in and we will talk to you about it." So, I took a short break from Clay, made it to the store and was talking with the "genius" at the genius bar about the ramifications. Seemed they would have to look at it again , it was very sick and needed work, and they have keep it over the weekend for more days. Arrrggggghhhhhh--I felt frustrated because I am so far behind on everything. But somehow, I kept calm and practiced my strong, "I can deal with this" attitude because I really have been just releasing things to the Lord and somehow He has sustained through day after day.

Then, a manager came up and asked me what was going on---I began to explain, "The fan doesn't stop, the motor keeps running, it overheats,  it shuts down and won't reboot........."

And then, out of the blue, she said, "This is what we are going to do," as she pointed to the top of the computer window to her fellow employee. He shook his head in the "yes" motion, and walked away to get something.

"I am going to give you a Mac for free and 3 years of warranty. It is the right thing to do as I don't think we can fix this any other way. And would you like a MacAir or a macbook? I would suggest the air since you travel a lot and write books. And I will throw in extra space on the computer, and a three year Apple care warranty, because I want to do it!  I just want you to have this because I just felt like giving it to you and that you might need it."

I was stunned. Shocked. Absolutely did not expect it. Suddenly, my tears began to roll---something about someone being unexpectedly nice to me in the midst of all that I have been carrying, melted me. I am quite sure the sweet angel woman thought, "Well, she has lost her marbles now. I do something nice for her and all she can do it cry! Wonder what that is about?!"

Joy walked up and was shocked that I was crying. She said in alarm, "Mom, what's wrong? What happened? Did something happen to Daddy?"

"The store manager just gave me a brand new Macair for free and extra bells and whistles--and it just made me cry, cause I am so touched."

Then we both started giggling at me, and couldn't stop giggling.

I can tell you, I believe in angels, miracles and I feel like I am typing on a toy, because it is so cool and thin and sleek and fun and light. So, that was my miracle Thursday--and it all came about through a Mac Computer!

How was your Thursday?

Conducting a symphony of soul

Sipping my white chocolate cappacino in my favorite blue hand crafted mug, while curled up in my pj's, I am listening to Christmas music, I am as happy as a clam. (how ever happy they are?!) Remember that bubbling excitement you felt as a child when you looked at a sparkling Christmas tree with presents underneath and anticipated Christmas morning? God Himself created us for pleasure and joy and comfort and beauty and all the deep down satisfying feelings of pleasure.He mounted a chorus of angels at the first birthday party of Jesus--He just couldn't hold back celebrating!

Yesterday, I wrote about choices of joy to be an over-comer, but cherishing joy and creating it and placing pleasure into the difficulties of life is a way we become artists of light and beauty and creators in His image. Even as HE casts a glowing pink sunrise every morning for me to behold and honor and enjoy, so I can cast in the midst of darkness light, color and beauty that brings hope.

And so overcoming doesn't mean simply gutting it out, grinding our teeth in an, "I will make it if it kills me," sort of attitude.  I

t means crafting pleasure in the midst of darkness which eventually reaches our souls and helps us remember His light and beauty. And I have found that in the obedience of cultivating light and joy in my home and life, even when I do not feel it, invests in my eventual happiness because as my sweet ones around me, whom I serve become delighted in my life celebrations, my own soul becomes encouraged. I know it isn't Christmas yet, but I so enjoyed my George Winston Christmas album this morning in the early morning chill of dawn, and so it became a comfort to myself.

And many thanks to a thoughtful friend who knew I had been sequestered inside for too many days taking care of Clay, who went by my favorite coffee shop and brought me a special coffee--another lighter of joy in my life today.