Read, read, read, read to your children--and the winners!

 People have often asked me what I did to build Sarah into such an excellent writer. How did you give Nathan, your adhd child the ability to write a blog? To write a book? Why can Joel ghost write for you and no one knows the difference? How did Joy develop her skills as a speaker and writer, so that she is so articulate on her own blogs?

I was not a perfect mom and rarely in one year accomplished my educational goals with my children. But almost every day, we had devotions and read-alouds--sometimes at night, sometimes in the morning, sometimes at tea times, but I kept baskets of books everywhere--in every room, in the bathrooms, in their bedrooms. And each year on birthdays and Christmas and other holidays, they all received books as gifts and I helped each of them build their own libraries.

"In the beginning was the Word (Jesus's name--the word) and the Word was with God and the Word was God." John 1

If God's name was "word" then words and foundations of words are so very important.

So, if you do one thing right, read, read, read to your children. It is what was the foundation of the minds of all of my children.

There is so much pressure today, (as always), to conform to cultural norms--and to try to keep up with the Joneses and all the blogs and articles that everyone else writes about what kind of curriculum to use, when to put pressure on your 5 year old to become academic.

But really, really, really--the key to giving your children mental muscle power and an advantage in any kind of education, is to read outloud to that child. All research complies with this, all teachers and writers say this, Clay and I say it emphatically in our own book. Read first--read daily---turn off media and put away work books and before you do anything else, read outloud to them--and read outloud to them until they are 30! Do not think that just because they can read at 6 that you should make them read to themselves and stop reading outloud. Read to them because you get to share in mentoring, discussing ideas, your vocabulary is bigger and you can explain things and they develop better skills in thinking and writing and communicating when you read outloud.

Here is another quotation that explains the culturally rich soul and the impoverished souls because of literacy and reading. Hope you enjoy these articles.

The poor and the affluent are not communicating because they do not have the same words. When we talk of the millions who are culturally deprived, we refer not to those who do not have access to good libraries and bookstores, or to museums and centers for the performing arts, but those deprived of the words with which everything else is built, the words that open doors.

Children without words are licked before they start. The legion of the young wordless in urban and rural slums, eight to ten years old, do not know the meaning of hundreds of words which most middle-class people assume to be familiar to much younger children.

Most of them have never seen their parents read a book or a magazine, or heard words used in other than rudimentary ways related to physical needs and functions. Thus is cultural fallout caused, the vicious circle of ignorance and poverty reinforced and perpetuated.

Children deprived of words become school dropouts; dropouts deprived of hope behave delinquently. Amateur censors blame delinquency on reading immoral books and magazines, when in fact, the inability to read anything is the basic trouble.”  Peter S. Jennison

And here are the 5 winners of the book Dancing With My Father. (Sorry I was late in posting these--I was writing my book.)

Tammy McCann

Stacey

Meripng

Julie Straugh

Hippie4ever

Congratulations!

Off to Irvine, Ca to a big speech tournament with Joy. Looking forward to warmer weather.

The hunger for a place to belong

There is a longing deep inside for more--a homesick heart. Often I do not know what it is I am hungry for, but nevertheless, it is there. We sense there is more in this life--we see a sunset, hear beautiful music that makes our throat feel thick, read a story that touches places in our hearts and brings tears we didn't know were there.

Here, I give you my wonderful Sarah's thoughts, my sweet daughter who is in Oxford. She is such a better writer than I and I adore her. We skype almost every other day and I am so blessed to benefit from her soul. I hope this will encourage you today!

ThoroughlyAlive.com

 

a bucket of grace

George Goodwin Kilbourne

“Lord I crawled across the barrenness to you with my empty cup uncertain in asking any small drop of refreshment. If only I had known you better I'd have come running with a bucket.” -Nancy Spiegelberg

We carry such a burden of performance and Jesus wants us to come for an endless lake of His mercy, joy, fun, love, forgiveness, power, beauty, adventure and freedom.

To celebrate each day in the infinite possibilities of what it might hold if we were willing to follow the fingerprints of God, instead of choosing to live in the limitations of Man's confines, voices and laws, is a goal worth pursuing. He is wild, out of the box, way beyond our control and more interesting than we can imagine, but often we live in the mundane and don't see the miracle of the moment because the eyes of our hearts are blind to His reality.

I loved the C.S. Lewis quote,

If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desire not too strong, but too weak.

We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us,

We are like ignorant children who want to continue making mud pies in a slum because we cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of  a vacation at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.

Today, I am looking for Him and taking time to notice in the midst of deadlines, duties and messes. I will never have a day just like this again to notice and celebrate with a grateful heart.

So, everyone needs pampering once in a while

When you write books, you have to carry book boxes. When you carry heavy book boxes, your fingernails break and chip and get filled with brown box dust. I was about to go to speak at our mom's tea and sweet Christie Weakly, an adopted daughter, who is beautiful and also smart, said, "I will make your hands beautiful--let me file them and paint them for you."

So, we snuck away to a hidden hallway, behind the room where we would be meeting, and she began her work of art. But it didn't just make my hands more acceptable, it made my heart feel loved and grateful. In the midst of working hoursevery day for 4 weeks, this is a little moment that stands out in my mind.

It is the little ways you fill a heart--when you may not even know how much it meant. A kind word, a hug, a small token of love, a service to lighten the load, coming along beside. These are the small things that make a grand contribution to the filling of our hearts with all that we need to keep going.

I have seen so many ways that God has blessed me along the way, sending angels in the form of sweet friends, women who work side by side with me at conferences, those who send sweet notes of encouragement and prayer to email or fb, a sweet friend who spent an hour at my house while I was writing and put away all the valentine decorations in my home, knowing I could not,  and even a 25 year old son who cleaned my house while I was away judging a speech and debate tournament for Joy and returned to a sparking home.

Oh the small graces in our lives that fill our hearts. I am so very thankful for so many of you who care. May He fill your hearts with the knowledge that every little deed given in love goes into the heart. Know that all your small deeds and practices of love are the grand investment that add up to make a difference in someone else's life.

Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.

Henry David Thoreau

PS Thanks, Spritti Bee, for sneaking this picture. I appreciate you, too.

I am becoming more liberal than ever before, and more conservative--is it possible?

Nathan--my bright blue boy

One of the blessings of having been a mom who raised my children with Biblical ideals and life ideals is that my children have grown into my  best friends who also hold my ideals. I love spending time with my children and find them to be the ones who spur me on in my own walk with the Lord.

Nathan and I were talking in Texas and he said, "You know, the older I get, the more liberal I am becoming. I see such broken people all around me in LA. Soul scars, life scars, few support systems, broken family background, and I want to just show them Jesus' mercy and love and compassion because they have never felt it before. I don't care what they are doing or have been, I just want them to experience the grace I have known my whole life and to know the one who can make them whole."

"But then, I feel like I am becoming more conservative than ever. I see how important family and marriage and foundations and all of my old ideals are and I believe in them more than ever."

I think I feel that way, too. I am more grateful than ever before to know Him, His forgiveness, His love, His call on the life of my family and the wholeness we have shared. I meet so many wonderful young moms who have backgrounds and scars that plague them. I want them to know they are not judged by their works from before, but they are beautiful and redeemed. They are not their past, but they are new in Christ and their children will stand on their shoulders. There is hope for their future. Jesus and one person make a whole person. I want them to know the grace and love of a savior who gave all he had for them and for me. I want them to have hope.

But then, I see, more than ever, how grateful I am for understanding the legacy of family as God designed it--of a safe haven of love and innocence where the soul of a child can incubate to build them into whole, healthy, vibrant adults--where children can be protected and loved and validated.  My heart goes out to children and youth who are looking for love in all the wrong places. I hope my family can provide safe haven for some who are so longing for a stable place to be and to belong. I want to teach more and more how to be healthy and whole as a family so more sweet children will grow up with a strong foundation of love and grace.

And so I understand anew this verse, "And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth."

Jesus, who was the embodiment of God, was the teacher of truth and the holiness of God and righteousness

But also, the one whose whole life and being embodied grace--the generous giving of Himself to those who were less than Him, so that others might benefit from his redemption and love and become whole.

Grace and truth together in one place.

For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in;  naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’  Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You?  When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’  The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’

I love seeing this man, Nathan, my son, living out the secrets and the mystery of the secrets of the kingdom of God, and I am honored to have him as my friend and to call him my son.

Thought you might also enjoy Nathan's blog article today. It made me smile and want to celebrate my day. Here it is. 

A plan for training children to become leaders in their generation, and a Facebook Party!

As I left for the Texas conference, I said, "Joy, do you think you could do your persuasive speech on youtube so I could share it this weekend?" and so she sat down in her bedroom, recorded on her computer and spoke her thoughts. I give you my sweet daughter, Joy.

There are many philosophies of discipling children and either sequestering them as young adults, or allowing them to foray into this world, and so I do not want to create division with this article. Each family must walk by faith and do what is best for their children.

However, Clay and I have always been about missions and discipleship and making an impact in our world. So, our pathways are covered with much prayer, dependence on the Lord, and humility, hoping that our labor will not be in vain. It is not our desire to offend or to separate, but to help educate others who want to know our own plan for discipleship in our home.

I learned long ago that either a person is growing and owning a purpose and dream and working towards goals or they are becoming passive, disinterested and slowing down, moving toward death of soul and faith. As a mom, this principle works itself out in this way. Whether I like it or not, this is the fallen place, (Jesus said in this world you have tribulation--Satan has been allowed to wreak havoc in this arena.) And so, I have to train my child with this in mind--that some day they will have to take their place in the battle, someday they will be in the war and either I am preparing them to fight back, to bring light to their darkness or they will become victims in the battle.

How is this accomplished? Of course a whole book could be written about this, (Educating the Whole Hearted Child), so there are many aspects I will not cover here today. We started out with our children giving them a strong foundation of purity, innocence, an understanding of goodness, righteousness, moral strength.We taught them our values and scripture that helped them tie these values to scripture. (The 24 Family Ways) We surrounded them with beauty, creation, scripture memory, feasts, relational love and serving of one another. They developed their soul appetites on what was good and right and true. This is the phase of investing in their foundation and pouring in an understanding of what is right and wrong.

Practically speaking, our children found our home to be a place that was a haven of fun, rest, goodness with dress up clothes and capes and swords and aprons, princess dresses and kitchens--lots of pretending at the areas that they would grow up to be. (mostly gathered from good will stores.)

They grew up on hundreds of books and stories that filled their souls and brains with captivating tales of goodness, bravery, heroism, faith, sweet family values, friendship and so the very soil of their soul grew in grace. We developed their appetites on reading and stories--to learn to love them, before they would ever be shaping their souls on media and machines. What children learn to love first they will love forever.

LIttle by little as they became older, we loosened the reigns of our own authority to give them some freedom make decisions within the boundaries of our advice and instruction and exposed them little by little to the world with us at their sides--having non-Christians over to our home; going into the world with them seeing us interact--(in political places, the arts, movies that we discussed, teaching them how to behave and giving them confidence of how to invest their messages that they had been building in a gracious way, getting jobs in the public arena.) We discussed and let them verbalize their own convictions based on articles we read together, issues we discussed that we knew they would encounter in the world, all at our dining table and in our home. We made time for them, mentored them, took them out for dates with mom or dad to have their own time of talking to us about all that was going on.

Next we looked for places to send them for training and exposure with others--Summit Ministries 2 week trainings--a must for our children--world view and apologetics camp to strengthen young adults in their convictions; a discipleship group at church, a discipleship Bible study with a godly friend; a world view class in the evenings with dinner with their peers in our home.

All of these plans prepared our children to be ready to take their place in their world as Daniels in Babylon--they perceived themselves as warriors, not as refugees who should hide and sequester themselves away. Jesus said, "Do not take them out of the world but keep them from the evil one." We are to all take our stand bringing his light and redemption in a lost and broken world." A light should not be put under a bushel, but lifted up so all can come to the light.

And so, Joy, struggling through years of training, learning how to manage people with different values that she encountered when discipling a group of girls younger than her for 2 years, sharing her faith in different arenas, putting up with disappointments of others compromising their morality, entered her university classes this year, armed with wisdom, knowledge and compassion for the lost--who do not even know what to believe or how to be whole. So I give you one of her speeches that she is giving in the tournaments this year. It came from years of intentional preparation and training.

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PLEASE JOIN US WEDNESDAY EVENING FOR A FACEBOOK PARTY, WHERE WE WILL BE ANSWERING QUESTIONS, AND DISCUSSING OUR PHILOSOPHY OF DISCIPLESHIP AND EDUCATION FROM EDUCATING THE WHOLE HEARTED CHILD! INFORMATION MAY BE FOUND HERE.

What does it mean to be real?

Reaching the finish line of our three mom's conferences is sweet. Yes, I so enjoy seeing so many wonderful women who are investing their lives in the hidden corners of their homes where no one but God sees.

The crowds, hotel food, speaking--it is all a part of my life. But it is not the real part of me.

But, I like what is truly real--being home, eating warmed toast and cheese and raspberries with Joy, hearing all about her weekend, making her tea and sending her upstairs to be alone after her adrenalin-filled weekend--liking the joy of taking care of my very real, sweet daughter-friend. Caring for her centers me and gives me a feeling of what is truly satisfying.

I have to center my life on the real--the personal--the love that I need from a real live person who lives with me, knows me intimately and still loves me.

And so I love these words and this part of the story from the Velveteen Rabbit--but especially this line: Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." 

VELVETEEN RABBIT

by Margery Williams

(this starts at the point when the Skin Horse and the Rabbit are talking)

The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it. "What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?" 

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" 

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." 

Don't miss reading this story to your children--it is probably more for you than for them.

In the company of friends, companions in ministry, ideals are possible

A favorite picture by Auguste Renoir--could be sisters, friends, companions in arms

“Anyone who imagines they can work alone winds up surrounded by nothing but rivals, without companions. The fact is, no one ascends alone.”  ― Lance ArmstrongIt's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life

Here in Texas, I am at home. This is the place where we started Whole Heart Ministries. I find women who have been to all 15 years of our conferences. There are also new, fresh, faces and women who are vibrant and passionate and visionary.

Amongst me are those who have served and loved and given so much time over the years. They humble me--why would they be so patient and generous with their time and hearts over so many years?

But the strength of a being in a community of like-minded moms--800 of them--strengthens me and makes me want to be the best I can be. These around me give me hope.

If we surround ourselves with women who walk with the Lord, we will want to walk with the Lord better, longer, more fully.

In the company of so many kindred spirits, my soul if blessed indeed.

 

What was so important?

 

What could have been so important, that the creator, Lord of the stars and galaxies, the one who ruled over the affairs of dictators and leaders of men's affairs, the most wise and educated of all, would come to the earth, in humble attire, bow his knee to the dust to wash 120 toes of the men he served, and invest three years of his life loving, teaching, eating with, encouraging, serving normal, fishermen and unknown women?

He wanted us to know that the love of people, personal time, servant leadership is the model for real influence. That is what is so important. Personal--I see your eyes, I am listening to your words, I care about you, I will teach you truth--these are what the God of the universe spent three years of His life--three years away from the "important" affairs of men--to do.

If it was so important to the one who created it all, shouldn't giving up our personal time, serving, loving, looking in your eyes, listening to your heart and forming your convictions by taking time to teach you, be important to us as moms, stewards of our children's souls. The personal matters more than all the other. Loving is the one thing he called us to do. Love is personal and focussed and requires us to lay aside everything else as He did.