*used blog 4/22/2021 Cherishing Motherhood: Love that lasts a whole lifetime

Cultivating a culture of Family Love

Sarah and Joy, a reunion at the airport--they belong to each other and give each other strength

Each of us has a deep longing to be loved, to have our lives validated, to know that we matter and have a purpose--a place to belong. It is a longing in our hearts because God put it there. Family is supposed to give roots, strength, security, stability and direction.

God also gave mothers the ability to build a strong  home culture,, so that these deep needs would be met.

Building an environment of love, grace, belonging, so that each child who is welcomed into her home, will provide a well spring in their hearts that says, "I have a history. I am a Clarkson (or Smith, or Martinez, or Krasaski), and we love each other, we belong to each other, we will always have stability because we are a part of this family and circle of love, spiritual strength and grace."

Shaping a Family culture like this takes time and intention and does not just happen by chance.

A child who is given a place to build roots, foundations of moral strength, affection and unconditional love and forgiveness, a safe haven in which to grow, will carry stability in their souls their whole lives and will find strength to face the trials of life and the challenges.

However, a child can be given all the experiences or things the world has to offer, but if his soul is starving or empty or filled with the anger of rejection or even passivity, which communicates worthlessness to him, will have difficulty filling this cavernous hole the rest of his life, and will look for love and validation in all the wrong places. 

A mother's love and legacy is one of the most powerful influences in the world and will indeed determine the strength and history of a culture. But to provide such a work in the lives of children, requires a choice. The choice is to serve, give, train, instruct, provide, encourage and this choice will have eternal consequences because the souls of the children raised in such a home will be strong, beautiful, spiritual, healthy and formed. Choices have consequences.

God’s Word, you see, gives us a map or plan for the family so that we might better understand what He had in mind for us. Few things will last after we die, but our children and their children will live throughout eternity. What we do as mothers, therefore, has eternal significance, so it’s especially important to understand God’s original intentions in this regard. Exploring His design for families and for motherhood can not only help us understand what has gone wrong, but also how, with God’s help, we can move closer to the joyful, fulfilling, and vitally important role He intended for us from the very beginning. Mission of Motherhood (Order Here or  Here )

Read Chapter 2 for more encoruagement and join our study online of this great calling and of the Book, The Mission of Motherhood

Join me today for our continued book study of the Mission of Motherhood, at momheart.org

Today, I am praying that the Holy Spirit will indeed use this book and this study to help each of you precious moms understand the far-reaching implications of your life, that God would entrust the soul and well being of a child into your hands, so that you might be a part of His kingdom work to shape the next generation, through your own family, to have a legacy of faith, holiness and life in Him. Remember, I am praying for you today! You are not alone. And you are dearly beloved by God.

Go HERE for more.

A Retreat From Life

Durnstein, Austria

After He had sent the crowds away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray; Matthew 14:23

My life is so very blessed and I am indeed grateful for the ways God has worked over the years. And yet, my messages of life and my books and my strength has not come out of a vacuum, but out of a rich and cultivated home life; a rhythmic spiritual life through a day by day discipline; centering myself over and over again so that I may hold fast to ideals and put away those things that distract from the center.

My message of influencing my children is born out of in intimate acquaintance with the discipleship relationship with Jesus, which requires focus, immeasurable time and a rich spiritual life. Such a life must continually be cultivated and treasured, it does not come by happenstance. It is the integrity of the life lived behind closed doors, the days that no one else sees, where integrity is crafted and grows strong. 

Yet, my life has been surrounded in the last few years by crowds and multitudes. Our ministry is such a blessing. How privileged I am to be able to be used, even in a small way, by Jesus, to encourage moms to embrace their divine role as mothers. Having met thousands of precious women, in person and through writing, I have continued to develop a heart to support and encourage them, to help them uphold their ideals, to point them to God. It is a passion from Him.

And yet, if I do not continue to protect the very place from which my messages come, my secret place, my home, my family, my abiding time investing in His wisdom and perspective, then I will spend myself in vanity and will empty myself from Him and just give of my own flesh--but not please Him, who truly is my treasure.

And so, the past two weeks, I have been sequestered away, in Austria, with my own wise counselor, Sarah--my first child.

Sarah, having just finished a semester at Oxford, (with the highest of honors, my mama heart soars with her great news), said, "Mom, let's meet in Austria, and we will rest and pray and talk and drink coffee and seek the Lord together."

I am indeed blessed to have children who now inform my life and who help me reason Biblically and make intentional plans for my life, as it has been the warp and woof of their own upbringing.

And so, wonderful Clay, sent me away, knowing how I long for peace, quiet and time for reflection, and generously held the fort down with delightful adventures with Joel and Joy. I am very blessed to have a husband who is so very generous to me. I adore spending time with my sweet children, we had free airline and hotel points, and I was one tired and spend mama.

So, two very precious weeks were invested in walking the familiar streets of Vienna, where I cut my spiritual teeth so many years ago as a young missionary. Even just the moving amongst familiar places, as we walked miles and miles, (also my therapy!), I caught again, the spirit of my mission heart that had beat so strongly over 30 years ago, when I entered this missional life. God began to meet me there and He began to unfold to me some of the ways He wants me to seek in the days and years ahead.

He is pretty true and simple in His direction of life,

Seek first the kingdom and His righteousness,

And so, I am rearranging some of my priorities and commitments so that I may continue to invest in what He has for me to do.

Sometimes the pulling away from multitudes is what is necessary in order to hear His voice, But then, I want to end well, having sought the praise of Him, my cherished and beloved Friend, who has led me so faithfully over the years, and not be swayed by culture, as I have less time left on this earth to please Him than I used to have.

So, please pray with me, that my commitments will be the right ones, that my home will continue to be a place of grace, truth, wisdom, life and peace, and that I will have the faith to follow hard after Him.

Be blessed in His will today, as that is where His peace will follow your soul.

And my prayer for all of you, is that you, too, will seek to hear His voice and follow hard after His pathway for you.

Waiting through the seasons with Grace, Faith and a Thankful Heart

James Tissot Quiet

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him. Psalm 37:7

Patience is not a natural virtue of mine, and yet, it seems the one God most ardently wants to build into my life, because He provides me so much practice.

When I was single, I could hardly wait to get married. Then I waited to get pregnant. Then I couldn’t wait until my children slept through the night. Then, I couldn’t wait until they were all out of diapers. Waiting for them all to be beyond naps. Waiting for them all to read. Waiting for them to learn how to do chores, to pick up clothes, to develop manners, to quit fighting.

Waiting for the teens to calm down emotionally, and waiting for decisions about life, college, marriage, money, and it goes on and on. Just fill in the blank of what you have waited for in your own life.

Somewhere amidst all of this impatient waiting, I realized that I could miss life if I just waited for a season to pass, waited for something to change,

waited for my children  to be different, or to have more time for our marriage,  or  for a financial situation to change. Letting my happiness, my contentment rest on some future moment.....

God, however,  seems to be more concerned with the process,...,

Read the rest of this article today on thebettermom.com, a wonderful site for all moms.

What is the hardest area for you to wait in?

Seeds of Righteousness

 

I have had a history of people very close to me who live in anger and criticism. This sowing of strife has left a string of broken relationships, deep hurt, and alienation. I used to think that if I just tried hard enough or did enough, eventually I would receive the acceptance I was looking for.

It took many years to realize that their anger and criticism had nothing to do with me and no matter how hard I tried, I would never be acceptable to them, because the problem was in their own dark and hurting hearts. But in order to have in my heart a harvest of peace, and not bitterness or anger; a harvest of love and not hate and retaliation, I had to seek to plant seeds of God’s righteousness, in order that my heart would truly bear a harvest of His making. This required that I pondered what it meant to be like God, to understand through His word that love covers a multitude of sin; to learn that Jesus Himself, when He was being crucified, “while being reviled, did not revile in return, but kept trusting Himself to God who judges righteously.” (I Peter 2:23) He became my model–that I would choose not to revile those who were angry or negative, but that I, like Jesus, would keep trusting myself to God—to place my issues in His file cabinets and to let Him deal with my difficulties, and then to close the drawer once these issues were safe in His hands.

After literally thousands of hours in his presence over the years, I have been influenced by being in the company of Someone so compassionate, loving and strong. I have made peace with Him and appreciate Him. In doing so, I learned that I could give that peace more easily to others, because I didn’t have as many expectations of them and I wasn’t as dependent on how they responded to me, in order to feel good about myself.

James also spoke to this matter of getting along with others.

 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, (getting our own way), there is disorder and every evil thing! But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering and without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” (James 3:13-18)

It starts with a choice–to allow the Holy Spirit to be Lord of our lives, even in the midst of strife; to decide ahead of time to imagine what it looks like to bring peace and redemption to each moment of life; to choose to sow righteousness into our relationships, because He chose to sow righteousness and peace into our lives, even at great cost to Himself. I believe that if thousands of His followers chose to sow this way each day, on all of the fields of life, there would be such a great crop of righteousness and the visible beauty of His life, that many hearts would be open to Him and to His ways, because of the overwhelming crop of righteousness present before their eyes. But it all begins with a choice in my heart and a plan to sow today, this day, in these fields where I find myself.

In what relationships do you need to sow seeds of righteousness today?

Sowing Seeds of Peace

Slouched down in my leather seat in a crowded railway car, I was being gently rocked to sleep by the rhythmic swaying back and forth of the old train clattering across the Polish countryside. Returning from a student conference in the mountains where I had been teaching and counseling with college students all weekend had left me a bit weary, lonely and depleted. Suddenly, the train took a small bend and the view changed drastically.

Thousands upon thousands of bright red poppies, gently swaying in the wind, spread over miles of the countryside. I was mesmerized by the beauty and began to imagine the invisible hand of God intentionally spreading seed generously over the many fields, so that in a country where there had been so much division, war and darkness for so many generations, there would still be a picture of His beauty, creation and life to comfort those who would see it...

Please join me at MomHeart Online today to read the rest of this article, Sowing Good Seed.

Dancing With My Father

 

Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing; Thou hast loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness That my soul may sing praise to Thee and not be silent. Oh Lord my God, I will give thanks to thee forever. Psalm 30:10-11

My sweet father passed away 14 years ago. He was a figure bigger than life to me when I was a little girl. I didn’t get a lot of personal, one-on-one time with him. But there are a few, sweet memories that live in my soul as exaggerated in size because of the rarity that made them so precious.

One sparkling summer evening, I was allowed to attend an adult party with my parents. I remember dressing up in a sky-blue dress adorned with delicate eyelet lace and belted with a satin sash. My black patent-leather shoes were just made for tapping my toes or dancing on the floor.

Suddenly, my handsome, smiling father swept over to the place where I was standing and easily picked me up in his arms. “May I have a dance with the princess of the ball?” He held me tight in His strong arms and easily swung my 4’8” frame round and round the dance floor. The bubbling excitement and pride that I felt at that giddy moment, being in the arms of my hero, who always appeared bigger than life, left me almost breathless. Finally, the music came to an abrupt stop. Gently, my father glided back to our dinner table in his long strides and set me lightly upon my chair.

“Thank you for the pleasure of your company, sweet princess,” he affectionately said, as he turned to find my mother.

This lovely memory is a picture to me of one of the ways I have come to view my own relationship with God—dancing through life, with deep joy and gratefulness filling the core of my being, as I am held and cherished in the arms of such a great, admired and worthy partner. The older I get, the more I have come to cherish with great delight the joy and beauty my Creator has generously bestowed on me—not because of anything I have done to deserve it—but because His very character is life and love and giving and celebrating and redeeming and creating.

I believe Satan would love for me—for all of us-- to focus on that which has been tainted with the stain of selfishness and destruction of sin. He would love for me to be ravaged in my soul with the fears that a post-modern world, filled with violence and a loathing for all that is pure and lovely, brings. Yet, he seeks to deceive me in more subtle ways, too. I am surrounded by those who live in the chains of legalism: a rule for every move in life, an air of condemnation, suspicion for those who celebrate the authentic joy of life. They, instead, live lives of worry, fear and condemnation. These have lost the vision of their Warrior King who has lain down His own life that they may have unending joy. Satan has deceived them into doubting and ignoring the light that is surrounding them. These, Satan would use to drag me down with them to the place of bitterness and harshness and oppression of soul, oppressed by my own inadequacies.

In order to continue to live beyond the oppressive blackness of the night, I must live with the ears of my soul straining to hear the music of the One who is creating, restoring and bringing life to a glorious crescendo that will envelop and swallow up all darkness. I must look with the eyes of my heart for the beauty and color and design that every day shouts to me; of the Creator behind the luminous colors, powerful sounds, lovely words and thoughts that speak to me of His reality. I want to go down dancing— to finish my life, choosing every minute until its close, to celebrate the reality of His life, living in the freedom of His gracious love, looking for the time when we will celebrate, in the final banquet, the victory He has so long ago preordained.

Praise the Lord! Sing a new song, And His praise in the congregation of the godly ones. Let Israel be glad in His Maker; Let the sons of Zion rejoice in their King. Let them praise His name with dancing; Let them sing praises to Him with timbrel and lyre. For the Lord takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the afflicted ones with salvation. Let the godly ones exult in glory; Let them sing with joy on their bed. This is an honor for all His godly ones. Praise the Lord. Hallelujah! Psalm149 

What does it mean to you, to go down dancing?

Today at MomHeart Online, it's Book Club day! We're having a video I made for Chapter One of The Mission of Motherhood. Please join us and leave your thoughts in the comments!

Building Foundations, Part Two

I believe that as moms, we have a precious responsibility--to be the architects who will build foundations into our children's lives that will influence future generations. Today I want to share with you about choosing the materials we build with, as well as some of the things I found so important to do with my own children as they were growing up.

Someday perhaps I'll learn how to use all this wonderful technology ... or perhaps not. I pray you'll give me grace and just enjoy what I have to share with you today!

I'd also like to announce the winner of my Spirit-Led Parenting Giveaway: Rachel! Please send an email with your information to admin (at) wholeheart (dot) org and we will get it right out to you; congratulations!

The Long-Term Work of Mothering

If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever ... In that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you. He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him. ~ John 14:15-21

A sweet mom wrote me a letter this week and said that she and her friends had been reading through Ministry of Motherhood together. She said they really enjoyed it, but it was a little overwhelming because it felt like I was always so positive about my children and that I always loved them. Then she asked if I really always felt that way.

Of course not! We all go through seasons where we wonder if some of our children came from another family. Sometimes we have feelings that suggest we are not really a good mom because we don’t even like our children. And sometimes we just wish we could escape.

I learned very early in my Christian life about the concept of obedience. God asked me to obey Him with my heart and Jesus said, “If you love Me, you will obey Me.” So, obedience is out of love, not feeling. Many times, I would do the right thing, even though my feelings didn’t match. In other words, I knew it was right to “act” in a loving, patient manner towards my children. Or I knew that God wanted me to “respect” Clay–even times when I did not feel like it! But because I wanted to love Jesus, I would obey. What I found out is that my feelings would follow. In other words, the more I obeyed the Lord in serving my children and encouraging them, the more of an investment they became to me, and the more I cherished them and began to see just how important children are in God’s economy.

Growth is a long process. My deep love and reverence for these children has grown after many, many years of cherishing them–sometimes because I truly loved and enjoyed them–and sometimes purely out of faith. But, as I have said before, as in a garden, whatever you water and nourish the most in this garden of life is what will flourish. If you water the garden of family and children and love and life-giving and beauty, it will grow and flourish–it is a long-term work.

I have a special treat for you! My sweet friend Misty Krasawski, who is also our Community Director at MomHeart Online, is launching her new blog called Encouraging Beautiful Motherhood today! We did an interview a few weeks ago as part of her online mentoring program, Titus2University, and she's making the audio available today as a free download. She also has some wonderful giveaways and I think you'll enjoy her site so please go say hello, download our chat and take a look around! 

Dreams and Visions Do Come True! Australia, here we come!

Are there any dreams in your life that burn in your heart? That captivate your imagination? That are from the Lord? Clay and I dreamed together about how we could reach our world with the message of parents discipling and building a godly generation. We went almost five years without a full salary. I baked and sold homemade cinnamon rolls for some extra income. We all became actors in a local dramatic production that played six months out of the year and we received $800 amongst the six of us. We prayed, dreamed, worked and believed and took a risk and God blessed. And now we have books in six languages, conferences all over the world and three websites/blogs.

We continue to dream how we can bring God's kingdom principles to bear on our world until we go to be with Jesus.

How about you? Are you walking by faith? Seeking to have an impact? Trust God with the dreams He has put on your heart? So many I see will only attempt something if they can see the outcome and determine the financial security--but God loves to work with those who are depending on Him! That is why I can't wait to tell you about another dream come true.

We prayed we could help families all over the world. Then wonderful followers/friends in Australia and New Zealand invited us to speak in multiple venues over the two countries on a two week speaking trip. On this trip, I met lovely Barb Somervaille, who became a cherished friend. Fast forward several years and a group of moms wanted me to return to do an Australian Mom Heart Conference. I told them that I would prefer it if they would fly to America to go through our intensive leadership training and go back to Australia and start a Mom Heart Movement.

And so these precious ones returned home, built a blog, and are hosting their first ever national Mum Heart Retreat. So all of you sweet friends from Australia get the word out.

Here is the scoop: Click on the picture for the link to the conference site! ( www.mumheartconference.com)

For any Australian mums wishing you could wing your way over to USA for a Mom Heart Conference – we have great news!  We have our first MUM Heart Conference coming up in Queensland in  mid-June. Alas, not with Sally, but certainly inspired by Whole Heart. It is going to be amazing! I am so encouraged after attending Sally’s Intensive in August last year, and looking forward to gathering Australian mums together for our own wonderful conference.

And all of you sweet moms all over the world, what are some of your dreams? How will you trust God to work, through faith, to build those dreams into reality? Today is a good day to seek Him and then step out in faith!

Building Foundations, Part One

 

I just love feeling as though I'm talking right to all of you sweet moms, and so I'm sharing another vlog with you today. This is a bit of the story of the landscaping and building of Glen Eyrie, the beautiful castle and estate in Colorado Springs which is  now headquarters and conference center for The Navigators, and what it can demonstrate for us about building foundations in our own lives and the lives of our children. I hope you will enjoy it--please remember I'm not a professional videographer and you may need to turn your sound up a bit!

I pray you know how important your days are. Building foundations in your children's lives is the most important work of all--and the job has been gifted to you, dear mom! May you be strengthened today and feel the pleasure of God in your moments.