As I close doors on this season........living life Joyfully

Joy feeding a duck she named Hildegard!

I am enjoying having 3 of my children home--more dishes, more noise, more fun. And of course, sending my baby off, (Joy), I am looking at each day as one to savor and remember and choosing to love a little more generously, be more patient, and end this next few months when all will be gone for the first time with grace.

I ran into this picture and this post from 5 years ago, and remember how young she was and how delightful and now this season if coming to an end. So I also share with you this old post and hope that the sentiment which I wrote years ago, and still even encouraged me today, will encourage you. So live life joyfully today, my friends, and take notice of the beauty along the way. Off to make all of us lunch! ....

I am sitting in my little quiet time chair with a cup of strong Austrian coffee in hand, (there are advantages to travel—I brought home 4 packages of the great tasting stuff along with a small box of chocolates!). From my second story window, I look out on the tops of countless pine trees with the Rocky Mountains peeking through the tree tops in the distance, and a sky full of wispy clouds slowing moving by. A reflection of God’s creative artistry is something I seek in every house we live in. I choose windows that look out on the most beautiful natural scene, so that I can have some of His life-stuff to bring peace and quiet to my soul each morning as I meet with him.

In front of me is a pile of books scattered over a coffee table, a couch pillow thrown onto the floor, a couple of pairs of shoes where they were shaken off and a potted plant that holds 3 wilting flowers in desperate need of water, some child’s abandoned sweat shirt, and a half-eaten candy bar. And this is only the picture of the eight feet in front of my chair. The rest of the house is much the same—meticulously decorated for this season—potted ivy with candles on my dining table, containers of flowers at the front door—blooming, but waiting to be potted, yet other life messes in the midst of the order and beauty. As the proverb says, “Where there are no oxen, the stalls are clean.” I comfort myself daily with the fact that I have 6 oxen living in my home, and thus my stalls are not always clean. My world is always a mixture of beauty and mess, order and piles of things not yet subdued. (Did I mention that Joy has interrupted me three times since I started writing this article? “Have you seen my brush? Will you practice my play lines with me for the play this afternoon? Do you think this shirt is too short to wear?)

Yet there is a significant little wooden plaque within my eye range. It reminds me daily, “Live Life Joyfully!” Choosing to live life joyfully is a choice that I have learned over a period of many years. Choosing to enjoy the moment is an inner discipline I have had to learn. It is not necessarily natural, but has become more so with the choosing of it as my practiced heart attitude.

I often love to watch toddlers. They move through their worlds with delight. We were waiting in a park on our mission trip for a friend to meet us. A toe-headed little boy was squealing with delight as he chased an illusive butterfly around a planting of bright red tulips and yellow daffodils. He was caught up in the joy of the moment, delighting in the toy figures that God had placed in his world for his pleasure. The little one was unaware that he had a milk-mustache, a shoe untied and a soiled stain on the knee of his jeans.

I hope that I am like this little boy to God—choosing to enjoy the beauty of the treasures he has place in my path. Noticing the toys he has given me for delight—Joy dancing through my room—beginning to look more like a young woman than a little girl—truly a beautiful sight to behold. One that will pass quickly. I am enjoying the tulips on my next door neighbors driveway—closest to ours, the green grass that has been so long hidden under piles of snow.

Many years ago in the midst of another possible miscarriage, I was sitting by a window near some mountains in Austria. I had begun to bleed and was asking God from the bottom of my heart to please let me carry this child to completion. Just then, a little sparrow hopped up on my window sill and began to chirp. It stayed there for several minutes and hopped closer and closer to the edge where I was looking out. What a sweet, amazing creature—singing its heart out with no one to applause. It was as though God was saying to me, “I am listening. I see the birds on a thousand hills. I see you. I love you and am with you!” I didn’t know what would happen, but I knew that God, who is love, was with me and would be with me in whatever happened. The pregnancy turned out to be Sarah.

From then on, I decided to take notice of birds who sing—to believe that they are especially praising God. I see them also as a personal reminder from God that He is present. Often on my walks when I am pouring out my dark heart to God, a bird hops or sings along my trail and I am reminded that God is there—present with me!

May He bring the reality of His joy to you today in the midst of your order and mess.

Grateful for those who engage in the battles

"Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

Warriors who are willing to lay down their lives to protect freedom, the safety of family, the protection of a spiritual heritage and freedom have captured my heart's gratitude for so many years.

Working and speaking on military bases and becoming friends with families who have sacrificially given themselves to all that is required for military families to serve us all over the world has inspired me to want to be more faithful in my own life, in seeking to serve others.

Deeply, from my heart, I thank God for each of you today and pray for blessings on your life.

I am also so very grateful for those who are willing to understand that precious truth, freedom, heritage, of Christ's cause is also a cause worth fighting for and sacrificing for. May God give wind to our wings and grace in the battle and wisdom for leadership,  for souls that are being waged daily in an eternal battle that our eyes do not always see. And may He strengthen our hands for this war of the souls and our hearts to stay faithful in the midst of the battle.

Raising Counter Cultural Christians

1. The Nebula He threw into place when the angels sang and shouted for joy.

The followers of Jesus are to be different-different from both the nominal church and the secular world, different from both the religious and the irreligious. The Sermon on the Mount is the most complete delineation anywhere in the New Testament of the Christian value-system, ethical standard, religious devotion, attitude to money, ambition, life-style and network of relationships-all of which are totally at variance with those of the non-Christian world. And this Christian Counterculture is the life of the kingdom of God, a fully human life indeed but lived out under the divine rule.

John Stott

As a discipler of others,

I wonder, are we merely indoctrinating our children--teaching them to "Be good" without giving them a compassion for the lost?

Jesus looked out on the multitudes and felt, not scorn, not criticism, not fear but compassion.

Teaching them to be responsible and to work hard and to make sound decisions instead of pouring their lives out to bring light to a dark world?

Abraham, not knowing where he was going, obeyed God.

Are we living by works instead of celebrating the grace of a God who never judges us by our failings and then extending this very grace to the unlovely in our lives?

The Pharisees piled gult and burden on the shoulders of the jews and Jesus scathingly rebuked them.

Are we living by faith that God can do the impossible and stepping out to risk ourselves for Him or just living by what is safe, what we can provide for ourselves--

The disciples said, "We don't have enough fish and loaves." The spies in the land said, "The giants are too big for us" and they became grasshoppers in their own sight.

I wonder.....because I am looking around me at hearts and wondering if they are fully alive to who He really is..........

There are times I contemplate an escape

This is just one of those days--I am trying to hold it together--but I would really like to escape-or maybe have everyone else go away so I can just sit and drink tea and have a few minutes to be.

So, anyone else ever feel this way? What do you do for a tiny little escape?

Moving toward a weekend and hoping to design a tiny one woman getaway..............

To be touched, to be loved, ah the deepest of comfort!

Mountains of Colorado

There is an excitement that bubbles up from within when I arise early, pile into the car and take off before many are up and about. As a little girl, when venturing out on family vacations, we always left at the crack of dawn and familiarity of it all, still thrills my soul.

Often, here in the high altitudes of Colorado glens, the gentle clouds on the ground, wisping and dancing about, the cold that sends a chill from the mountain air, as we ride in our chariot with music throbbing within and the love that ties our hearts together, makes this moment a cherished one.

The Broadmoor, awash with fresh flowers, a sparkling lake, splitting eggs benedict, strong coffee,  and cherishing each uninterrupted moment, stolen from a too-busy life.

Such was last Saturday as I whisked Joy off for breakfast, a walk and heartfelt discipleship. (I have a little drawer where I stash a dollar here and there, or a birthday check or a $20 given, just to have a fun-fund from which to draw for such celebrations with my sweet ones--there always seems to be just enough to split something!)

Deep thoughts and idealistic dreams are buried in the souls of my children, but God has shown me that to draw them out is an art of a mother. Intentionally carving out time alone with each child on a regular basis has provided foundations of our relationship which has grown very strong over the years.

Words of love and affirmation and a focussed attention, looking into their eyes and listening, really listening to their hearts speak, as I hold silent, is the beginning of such divine appointments.

When Nathan was merely 3, the older ones were at church with Daddy, and I wearily sat in a big overstuffed, beloved chair, and said, "Nathan, come sit with mama and tell me all that is inside of you."

Much to my surprise, when finally alone without any competition of siblings to share the stage, he cuddled next to me and for almost 45 minutes, chattered, giggled, talked and poured out his little boy heart. He, an extravert, had been waiting to spill his little soul and all the thoughts that bubbled there. I, astounded that so much could rest there in one so young, began to see that all of us long to be heard, all of us long to share our hearts, thoughts and dreams, and when heard, we open our own hearts to the one who would show us such devoted attention and love.

And so, in the midst of a crazy ministry life where literally thousands fill our home each year, siblings always noisily about foot, Daddy needing my attention, lessons to be taught, instruments to be practiced, meals to be made, clothes to be washed, the phone never stops ringing, this time away, like Jesus taking his away to the cool breezes of Mount Olivet, where no one would interrupt or bother, I have carved out a mountain of influence, by taking them away, by serving their heart needs, one little meeting, one little date at at time.

And so, the lavish discipleship breakfasts, walks around the lake and amidst flowers and trees abloom, several times a year, have become a beloved and shared adventure and tradition, between me and my precious children. The sacrifice of sleep, time, money and attention pays off, as their hearts open to the messages of my heart, which when I am patient, are always eventually heard.People always say, "What is your method of discipleship and what books did you use to win the hearts of your children?"

It was from the book of time invested, love given, eyes and ears focussed, and words of life focussed on hearts that needed and longed for affirmation and validation. If Jesus left heaven to so focus on his own, personally feeding, touching and rubbing and washing the toes of 12 burly men, could I do any less?

The sacrifice of my time, feeding them feasts, scratching their backs, massaging their little hands with lotion that smells vanilla, the head rubs in my lap, the candlelight and warm cups of drink, a cookie shared,  in the quiet of my bedroom, the hours of hours of rocking and singing and nursing and caressing, is a servant mother's way of saying, "You matter to me. Your are worth my undivided time. You are more important than all the tasks that loom about."

And this servant love and time is what lays the foundation for my sweet ones wanting to love the God I love because I took the time to love them.

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Join me today, as I review Mission of Motherhood, chapter 4, as we discuss the Servant Mother, at Momheart.org

Fillers, spillers and thrillers--subding my deck!

Geraniums--a great choice for my mountain home in a very large antique copper pot

In Genesis, God tells us to "subdue" the earth. This word has gone a long way to give me vision in my home--really it has.

I am wired, designed, crafted by God with the abilities, the intelligence, the skills to overcome disorder and to bring a mark of his artistry to my home and life. It is one of the greatest pleasures granted us.

To rule over something in such a way as to bring order, beauty, productivity. To know that it is a grace and glory of a woman to civilize and bring life and excellence in society. I am a purpose-driven sort of girl and if I have a reason why I am doing something, then it gives me more fuel for the fire, so to speak to accomplish something. To me, this is one of the fun parts of my calling.

Truth is, I love flowers and roses. However, my mountain home has resisted me having a  green thumb. Not a lot of great soil. Too cold. Rock and stone just below the surface of my 7250 elevation home. Resistant in every way.

Small pots of flowers at every little table on porches and back deck--these grow better!

Over the years, I have begun to outsmart this resistant earth to my subduing efforts after many attempts. I am often amazed at what little input I sometimes need to do things differently. I love flowers but I don't necessarily have a gardener's intuitive skill. But, Joy, seeming like an only child, because she doesn't have a gang of kids with her like my older ones did, loves to garden--in spite of the fact that our dirt is plant and bloom resistant.

Pink Mountain Roses in a deep pot! Almost beginning to bloom.

I found that my roses are not prolific because of the infertile ground and rock and cold. So, planting them in pots, only high altitude variety, has begun to work well for me. You cannot see this, but I have 6 buds on this bush just about to bloom--I am a happy girl to see life beginning to thrive on my porch.

I felt like I needed some more professional input on how to master this mountain!

So, I asked a friend and her daughter to join Joy and me for a garden demonstration about how to plant professional pots a couple of years ago.

We all had so much fun--but the desired effect was so much better than what we used to do.

I used to go to Wal Mart, Home Depot or a little natural garden near us and buy some flowers and then pot them according to what appealed to us. But at this demonstration, they taught us a 3 point outline to make great pots for your porch or deck.

Joy's favorite pot!

It has a fern in the middle as our thriller and 3 kinds of purple and pink flowers for fillers and again, some ivy to spill over the side, which, in the past few days has started growing a lot and spilling even more.

First, pick a THRILLER--this is a tall or dramatic plant that stands up above all other plants to give your pot a dimension--something that stands out and gives the pot some height.

Second, give your pot some FILLERS--those flowers and plants that will take up space or spread--pick a color theme that you will follow throughout your porch or area.

Third, give your pot some SPILLERS---these are those plants that will spill over the side to give dimension.

We were also told to get really big pots so that the water could be retained longer and so that it would not all evaporate on a hot day and have to be watered again.

This is a much more beautiful pot than it looks like in this picture. The purple plants are the thrillers, then two read plants fill out the pot--geraniums and the other tall red plant--can't remember its name; and some ivy spilling over the side.   It has a fern in the middle as our thriller and 3 kinds of purple and pink flowers for fillers and again, some ivy to spill over the side, which, in the past few days has started growing a lot and spilling even more.

Every night, when it is not too cold, we have been eating on our front porch or deck. All of us feel so happy to be surrounded by flowers and also tiny blue lights that sparkle when the sun goes down.

I am still not a great gardner, but slowly over the years, I have had much pleasure in learning to subdue and master the cultivating of my own sort of mountain garden.

Here, There and Everywhere..............

Joy is leaving for college in another state at 17? Really?

Aren't you worried about her being in the world too early?

Have you really considered the ramifications of this choice?

Today, I am writing at thebettermom.com and my topic is Lighting a Fire of Vision in our Children verses having a life that Keeps all the Rules

Setting our children free to be adults and to own their lives has served us well through our older three, so far, and we can't wait to see how the Lord is going to work through Joy's life. She is one of the most passionate, visionary, loving and serving young adults I know and we are sending her out with great hope and blessing. Read more here.

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Today, I am also writing about that hated word--patience 

And believe me, whether training and loving Joy, or bearing with the ups and downs of my other children, or living in marriage, dealing with finances, all the stresses of life, and then knowing I am sinful and limited--

All of these are only born with patience and waiting on God's Faithfulness--as He is the reason we can be patient with hope!

So this is the other article I wrote for today!

I am not a patient person. I am a fast person. I like to get things done. I like life to be easy. Seems to me God should have done things a lot quicker in my life than he has. Patience is a word I avoid and do not ever pray for in my life.

Often I write articles that are spiritually deep to some, but I can feel guilty for writing them because I think it could give the wrong impression that I am spiritually strong and don't struggle. But to be honest, I struggle all the time and it is in searching for something--anything that can give me direction or hope-- from which the content of my articles develop.

Writing on patience is not because I am patient but because I have seen how very much I have needed it and how much my life, with God directing it, has required it. ​

Patience is a part of faith and shows a grace of God's hand and magnitude in our lives--and most of life as a mom requires patience.

Accomplishing a lifetime of patience is a glory and grace through the life of one who is secure in God.

Read the rest of this article here

I love hearing your thoughts and comments and pray that somehow I may pass on to you each day a little flavor of His wonderful grace and love. It is because of Him that our lives are restored and that our seasons of life are filled with adequacy every day, in spite of our limitations. He is amazing and He is faithful. May you know His love today.

Be blessed in grace! Sending my love to you all today! Sally

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PS In answer to your emails and questions, Joy will be at Biola University in California. Through a providential provision and miracle of God, her education will be paid for, so she is excited. She loves teaching the Bible to girls, so some kind of ministry major and or she is driven to communicate and taking speaking by storm, so communications is a likely area, but she loves music and songwriting, too. So, time will tell. Does it surprise anyone that one more Clarkson child is more interested in the arts and communications side of life? We all tend to leave the legacy of our family culture.

Thanks, Quaker, for supporting Whole Heart!

First we named our ministry Whole Heart Ministries

Then we have a website called Wholeheart.org

We wrote a book called Educating the Whole Hearted Child

Clay and I want to publicly thank Quaker Oats for naming a cereal after us.

We are so very honored! :)

The Freedom to Crafting your own Recipe of Family Culture 2

Saturday night homemade wholewheat pizza--Hamburger, onions and green peppers--our personal family favorite!

Favorite family recipes can reflect heritage, experiences, stories, traditions, backgrounds,--so many different attributes that encompass the personality of a family. And so, that which characterizes the unique specifics of family definitions reflects the variety facets of a family's preferences and story.

The recipe of a family's definition offers such color and variety.

Some are more intellectual, some athletic, some very active, some more practical, others more introverted some arts and literary and some math and science. Yet, all of these possibilities are more are valid and worthy within the bounds of their own unique family culture. God is a God of variety and diversity as can be seen in so many different aspects of creation. Yet, I have seen many families, and more particularly moms, who are always comparing themselves to others and falling short of someone else’s list of attributes.

Comparing ourselves to others will almost always lead to disappointment. God made us for His glory as we are and as our children are within the limitations of their own personality, which limitations do define a part of what our family culture will be. My children are so vastly different from each other---in personality, looks, body type, preferences, growth and development, intelligence and skills. To compare them or discipline them the same or to expect that they would all behave the same would place undo pressure on them to conform to a box that they could not fit into.

When Sarah was a little girl, if I just glanced the least bit disapprovingly in her direction, she would immediately repent of whatever she was doing—often even thinking I was disappointed in her because she had such a sense of her own internal excellence. Joel is such an abstract person, that often he would be in his own thoughts and totally oblivious if I had even been talking to him. To train him, I had to make sure I had his attention and then he was willing to obey. Nathan was my confident, strong willed child, much like me. I had to spend lots of time with him talking, playing and doing his school work, and training personally, because his extroversion and active little mind and body required different focus. Joy started out very self-sufficient and calm and is very intuitive about our expectations and what we expect of her. I motivated her by giving her the opportunity to spill all that was on her heart and just pointing her in the right direction. All children needed a different twist in their recipe to make them adequate. No system or formula exactly fit any of my children.

I believe that God offers us great freedom in exercising our authority over out children and home. There are “many ways to skin a cat,” as the saying goes. There are also many ways to love and discipline and instruct children. The result of many ways of such training is excellent.

Many women with whom I speak and work live under a phantom all the time that there is only one way to get it right.

I find it unfortunate when speakers or books place great burdens on women’s shoulders to live up to or who define success by such rigid rules, that most feel like failures not living up to the standards.

Satan is the one who loves to use these standards to kill the spirits of moms so that they will live constantly under the “feeling” that they have disappointed the Lord.

Many seek to live by formula—the exact rules and values and decisions of some arbitrary leader who has spelled out such lists for others to follow. Such legalism kills the spirit of a family, produces an atmosphere of performance and uses guilt to motivate. Not only that, but such an atmosphere of strictness and regulation can ruin our testimony with other non-believers.

That is not to say we throw all rules out! God is a god of order and variety. But we must balance them in order to have a good result through the recipes of our family lives. I have to keep my water from being boiling hot or icy cold if I am going to see my yeast rise. Yet, I have a pretty big margin to work within in order to insure my yeast rises.

If we are too lax in the training of our children, they will be puff-balls and have little self-control or personal strength in their character. If we are too harsh in our discipline and instruction, our children will become performance and works based in their desire to receive our approval and will be subject of great criticism of others---future Pharisees of America, as I have said before. Yet, both are needed to bring a balance, resulting in great souls—love and grace; discipline and training.

How does this work itself in real life? I must establish my standards on scriptural principles. For instance, we have always used the verse in Phiillipians, “Whatever is true, whatever is lovely, whatever is pure,” and so on, as our standard for the kinds of things we should allow into our minds and hearts. Yet, when Clay and I decide what standards those are for our family, some of the movies my children are allowed to watch may be too offensive for your family. Some of our standards may seem too strict. Our choice of clothes style might fit well with your values but might compromise the values of others. Same with choices about books, movies, food, school, college, internet limitations, and so on. . There is not an exact way to make these choices. We are expected by God to operate from our hearts and our consciences and to live by faith and allow the word of God to inform our decisions.

I was praying about an issue with my children one day. The Lord made it very clear to me that my children would be used by Him in different ways to reach different people. Sarah leans more to the introverted-intellectual side of things; Joel is an artist and musician and loves to espouse a certain value system in his preferences; Nathan is quite gregarious and very people oriented and a performer and actor and musician—a little more contemporary and extroverted in his clothing and behavior; Joy is still in the process of choosing her values and ways of expressing her own personality, but loves speaking, ministry and influencing people. Each child has had their own areas of Achille's heal, but as long as each is progressing in their heart, I validate their unique personality and design..

Yet, I judge how they are doing not by the externals alone, but by their hearts—

Do they love and respond to us? Do they love the Lord and are they advancing in their walk with God and developing their heart for others. If the answers to these questions are yes, then we allow them freedom to be who they are. As young adults, they are learning to forge their own “recipes” of life if you will. There will be a Clarkson value system at the base, but I am sure they will add their own imprimatur to the living out of their stories, because they were uniquely made by God for His purposes.

Through this process of growth, over the years, I have had to understand that not all of our own choices of how to live will please everyone. Yet , as long as we feel we are obeying and pleasing God, we are free to express our faith through the integrity of our own family culture. Variety indeed is the spice of life—may we celebrate the unique ways we reflect God’s glory, enjoy life to His glory, and live in the freedom He has provided. Each family culture will have its own flavor, but hopefully, by God’s grace, each can be flavored with God’s beauty and unique design.

Indeed it is a true statement, “The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves.” Romans 14: 22

What creates insecurity or condemnation in your life? What pressures make you feel like you need to conform to others?

I interrupt this regularly scheduled blog, ......., to write about a divided heart

No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Matthew 6: 24

We live in a time in history when culture tries to convince us that we can do it all---but each of us only has one life to invest in what matters. Each of us is limited in the amount of time we can use to invest in the priorities of our lives.

But, the truth is, we have to choose what we will focus our limited time on and our choices will have consequences.

Choices have consequences. What a man sows he will reap--the way one invests  time, money, mind, heart and energy will indeed have long term consequences.

In regards to motherhood, and the lives of our children, excellence of character must be intentionally developed. Moral foundations take hundreds of hours of teaching and modeling to cultivate such a life. Pouring into the souls of our children, developing sharp minds, protecting them from the draw of culture, passing on faith--all of this does not come about by chance. God will hold us responsible for the ways we used our lives to cultivate these attributes in the lives of our children.

I do not think there is one formula in regards to accomplishing these things, and all of us have different pressures, issues, puzzles to figure out in regards to motherhood.

But, we cannot foster a divided heart and be able to truly pass on a legacy of righteousness. Our heart must be devoted to the stewardship of the lives that have been trusted into our hands. We cannot serve the world and God's purposes.

The reality is we can only serve one master and God does not put up with idols or competition to see who will win--in our lives or in the lives of our children or ministry or church. Obedience is simple and straightforward and not a matter of opinion.

He allows us to ignore wisdom and go against Biblical logic and wisdom, but he usually leaves the consequences of our unwise and poor choices  in tact, because he has given us the opportunity to seek holy choices and to pursue wisdom.

This is indeed a difficult issue to address in this culture as we want to have it our way. Yet, I have seen after all these years of mothering and knowing many families, that if children do not find stability, love, training, spiritual reality, purpose, comfort in their own home, they will look for it wherever they can find it--and they will become like the place they spend the most time or like the people they spend the most time with, because they are shaped by the culture in which they invest their hearts.

For more about this subject, join me today for more at Momheart.org for an article, questions and discussion about the blessing of cultivating an undivided heart--a heart free to serve, to submit, to work, for the glory of God without restraint. 

And join us in our book study of The Mission of Motherhood