Used blog 3/4/2021 Personality and Relationships: The Key to Opening Hearts

While sipping tea and savoring a creme brulee, catching up on life and vacationing away from everyone this week, Sarah spoke aloud about the culture of our family.

"Each of us is so different and so complicated in the ways we are motivated in our lives, and yet, somehow, you made us feel that who we were was exactly the person God made us to be to live out our calling and story in this world. Personal affirmation is so very important to one's ability to believe that God will use them to change the world."

How interesting to hear the various memories and comments our children have made as they have reflected on our lives this year, after so much interaction with other moms who questioned them and wanted to know "what it was really like in our home," during the mom conferences.

Seeing the reflection of what is in their hearts could be threatening, but thankfully, they mostly have good memories and warm feelings about how they remember the community of Clarkson clan. I always feared they would remember my mistakes and vulnerable areas, but mostly they remember the love and closeness we all celebrated as the oxygen in our lives that covered over the mountains and valleys of our lives. Somehow, their love covered a multitude of sin.

Focussing on Relationship

Ministry of Motherhood was the book I wrote after studying the life of Christ in relationship to His disciples and I was right in the midst of my children's growing up years. As I pondered Jesus: He loved them, spoke to them, spent morning, noon and night in fellowship with them. He served them by feeding them, by healing their relatives; He modeled to them what true Christianity would be by touching children and giving them His time and blessing them; touching lepers; giving women both moral and immoral His time and affirmation--He showed us how to live through His relationships with the people in his life. In reading scripture it's very obvious that He had a love for them, a compassion for them--not a list of rules on how to be sure you are acting righteously. These the Pharisees provided, not Jesus.

I am so grateful for all I have learned about motherhood from my study of Jesus. I sought to emulate Christ to our children.

He called Peter the rock--You are the man, Peter!

Thomas, a man in whom there was no guile--the just one, perhaps a lawyer personality.

John, the one Jesus loved. Definitely a feeler on Myers Briggs.

Each followed Him, but each had a different personal grid through which they learned to hear His voice and messages.

Even as Jesus treated His disciples differently, understanding the unique personalities God gave to my children, though, was a necessary foundation for reaching their hearts with the reality of Him whom I loved. Their God-given personalities provided the grid through which they would understand truth. To ignore the way they were uniquely made would be to seek to bring light through a lamp that was not plugged in.

Children, beautiful yet unique as snowflakes are always individual--no two alike!

What are some of the personalities and the issues that must be considered? Extroverts need to talk more, have more activities and people in their lives; introverts need more time alone to ponder, create, go into their inner vortex. Some have a larger capacity to work hard, others are more immature and need the grace of time allowed for growth. Some are relational and inspiring and have to talk a lot. Others are ponders and may feel pushed to have to be social.

God has given boys testosterone so that they may defend us--it automatically means they will have a tendency to be louder, more active, well, more boy. A boy should not be disciplined for being "boy".

Some children just really want affirmation and hugs and listening in order to "feel" loved. Others want you to do something with them--to play, to run, to go. Others want sympathy--and to have you understand. Still others, quality time. It differs with each child, just as each of Jesus's disciples were different and related to him differently, according to their values each uniquely held, because of background and personality.

We are to accept and cooperate with our children's God-given personalities because God has a work for them to do in this world according to His design for their lives. As their gifts, so will their calling be. It also means that if we want to be God's instrument to open their hearts, we have to study who they are and reach them according to the personal design of their heart.

And what I have found is that in ministering to my children and learning how to be a great "psychologist," I have also become more astute in ministering to the needs of others, because I have become better at observing needs and personalities.

Children and adults are not cookie-cutter copies of each other who can all be handled the same way--as a matter of fact, if we are handled as robots, we will rebel at impersonal ways of being treated. Human beings are complex and cannot be generalized into formulaic solutions, but long to be loved and valued as they have been made to be. 

Each child (and most adults, for that matter!) long for a mentor who "gets" them--knows and understands them and can reach their heart's passions and dreams. This is part of why the reality of our relationship with God as a real Person who can be known and interacted with, Who has feelings and plans and is so much more than words on a page, is so wonderful.

It does require faith to live in intimacy with the living God. He is wild and wise and loving, and deeply desirous of our personal, passionate love--not our robotic keeping of rules. And so, we must live in the tension of loving the unique design that our Artist creator crafted into the DNA of our children and learning how to build a bridge of our love to their heart, so that we can open up their ability to listen to the messages we live and speak. We are invited into a relationship with the living God, which is a pattern for how we live with our children.

And in reaching out to them as friends and real people with dreams, values, desires, insecurities and passions, we truly open them up to the very God who crafted them that way for His glory.

An Ode to Tired Mamas Revisited: Desperate Chapter 9

 

There once was a sweet mom with children, Who worked day and night just to serve them, She cleaned and she cooked and she taught and she booked, Till she died of exhaustion and left them.

Ok, ok--it's not great poetry, but I did think there should be a short dedication to all the moms who have given and given and given, with nary a one to appreciate them!

I got tickled a while ago. I had written the blog about taking Nathan to dedicate him to the Lord after taking him out to lunch and a hike, and then the little story about taking Joy out for her 13th birthday. A sweet mom who read the blog was probably sending a comment to a friend … but accidentally pushed the reply button and sent her email to me which said, "She makes me tired!" (I have done this before, too, much to my horror--meaning to send a comment to Clay and instead sending it to the person who wrote it! Grace and peace--don't worry!)

We all compare ourselves to others too often and we all come up short on someone's scale. When you compare yourself, it leads only to pride and causes you to criticize others, or you will have envy and think, wrongly, that others are better than you and wish that your life was different. Comparing never accomplishes anything positive in the long run--and thank goodness, God does not judge us by someone else's arbitrary standard. (Though we do have so many voices in our heads telling us otherwise.)

But, I do think this task of "ideal" mothering is such a tiring calling and we all put ourselves under so much pressure to be perfect when we have too many sinful children, no support systems, no breaks, no full time maids, and they all want  to eat and wear reasonably clean clothes every day !  And we are responsible for their character, manners, education and spiritual outcome, sense of well-being and happiness! A lot to ask.

If there is one area of family life that takes the breath out of me, it is housework.

The relentlessness of housework is probably my biggest source of stress. I was never taught how to keep house or how to cook or wash clothes or how to organize, or or or.

The work just happened in my home (and my mom did have outside help!) But I just never took notice.

Clay is naturally organized and is much better at organizing the house than I would ever be. I am great at decorating and building ambiance and loving, but all the things that have to be organized and the details of the fridge, the wash, the bills and the toys and the papers--well, you get the picture--these are just too much for me.

But God gave me my personality and He knows my limitations and isn't biting His nails to see if I am going to be perfect at the task. 

Knowing that He knows my limitations takes a little pressure off. A perfect house, a Martha Stewart standard is not what is expected.

As Joel, my son, once well said when I was in a tizzy over the messy house. "Mom, we will clean the house and it will just get messy again. But when you are sad, we feel guilty, like we have done something wrong. But when you are happy, we feel happy and like we are the greatest family in the world.

So, Mom, lighten up and we will all be ok!"

We moms are giving out at a much faster rate than we are taking in and so depletion and exhaustion are normal.

Add to that, the fact that most of us were never trained. I love the verse in Proverbs that says, "Where there are no oxen, the stalls are clean." I have at least six oxen in my stalls all the time, so my stall is always in different degrees of clean-ness!

So, I will give just a few tips that have helped me. I have learned that my capacity to keep everything going and to create a home that is orderly is much more than I thought. I have learned to work harder and to accomplish more than I ever thought possible. It is like exercising a muscle--eventually you do become stronger. Doing it for so many years over and over again has shown me that I have gotten stronger and more able to do a lot of work.

1. Copy other organized women. I am not natural at this, so I actively take notice of other's systems and articles that give me practical advice.

2. Have at least one time during the week when you do a basic cleaning. (Bathrooms, vacuum, dust, etc.)

3. Daily, put on up-tempo music and pick up the main areas (with your children all helping) for 15 minutes. It makes going into the evening a little easier if the messes are not all over.

4. When possible, simplify--fruit and homemade bread and cheese or nuts for dinner. Simpler and fewer clothes. Boxes or drawers or bags for everything to go back into at nights, routines daily that teach and give expectation to the kids and you what needs to be accomplished as an anchor to the life of the home.

Another essential is to always make sure your children are involved in all of the tasks, starting when they are little. (I started all of my children around 3 to put the silverware in the silverware basket. It helped them to learn sorting and they actually liked it! This is to give them a self-image or sense of it being a "part of their lives" to help and work hard. My kids have learned to do a lot of work, learning one task at a time, and practicing it over and over again. We had a "team" effect in our house--we are all in this together sort of community--it was an expectation and so we didn't have to talk about it daily.

I just want to affirm all of you who are hard on yourselves and want to give up---

You are making a difference in this world! Your work is eternal and extremely important! Your little ones don't know if you are good or efficient at housework, they just want to enjoy that place they live and have a happy mama. 

Don't give up-- ever, ever, ever!

But ...

take a break!--schedule it in--every day, for a one-woman cup of tea or coffee and tell yourself, you are good, you are valued, you are precious and you matter a whole lot! Live only in grace and not overwhelmed-ness--even 15 minutes a day of a self-pep-talk and peace can make the whole day work better. (I see the pep talk as taking every thought captive to the truth about you--He loves you and is with you.) A little mama break is as important as getting all the rest done--because you can do it all with a lighter heart and maybe even exercise joy!

Blessings and blessings, oh dear fellow mama civilizer!

What is your most difficult task in housework? What gets you down the most? How can you make a plan to lessen this stress?

An Invitation to Join Our SOBeR Club!

A couple of years ago, Joy had Sarah and me in stitches one afternoon when we picked her up after a morning spent working at our local MOPS group. She had just been assigned to the two-year-olds, a more challenging group than those she'd worked with previously.There were stories about all sorts of body fluids--specifically one little boy whose mom said he was being potty trained and who had been sent with no diapers--only underwear--and eventually cried, sobbed, screamed twice when he had accidents, and soused his clothes again and again, with Joy to clean it up. Joy was wondering if this was what most moms called "potty training." There were other stories about nose junk, bottom junk. sucking junk; kids sneezing on her, hitting each other, hitting her, screaming--and by the time we picked her up, she was exhausted!

"Did you go through all of this with us?" she asked, incredulous. "How did you make it???"

Told her I'm not really sure how I made it, but somehow muddled through. Also advised her just to be sure not to have ten two-year olds at once!

Life as a woman, mom, and wife can sometimes be gross, stressful, overwhelming, exhausting, boring and demanding on many levels. Sometimes moms feel guilty admitting the variety of feelings they have. Feelings are neutral--they neither define who we are or take away from our righteousness. They are just a reaction to the situation we are in.

I remember so many years when I just obeyed what I was supposed to do without feeling like doing it. Because I loved my children, I made decisions to cultivate what was best for them. Because I was committed to loving Clay (and God) I acted, as a choice of my will, in the best interest of Clay, by faith, not by feelings. As I look back, I am so glad that I learned to put one foot in front of the other, because usually my feelings would follow. I am grateful the Lord kept me going in the right direction by the convictions I held and followed. If I had followed all of my feelings, the results would have been disastrous.

But there are just times in life or parenting or mothering or marriage that seem overwhelming and too depleting to handle. A few years ago, Clay and I decided that when we got to this point, we needed to call a SOBeR Club meeting. It stands for:

Sick

Of

Being

Responsible

SOBeR-Sick Of Being Responsible

There are times that we all just have to take a break! On our sober club nights, we always do something that we want to do that is just for us--sometimes we even ask friends to join us--go to dinner, a movie, a walk in the mountains, take a drive to see the city lights--music blaring, windows down--just cruising and trying to relax. We do something different--go away from the stress, from the kids. We do not talk about any of the problems or money or stress or ministry. We just relax, have fun, get away and lighten up.

With friends or my girls, SOBeR Club nights can include going to some fun cafe, buying something little or fun that I enjoy. Joy prepared a small package with a Warm Vanilla Sugar candle, lotion and perfume for me this week on the day of our meeting! Sarah bought me a piece of dark chocolate with almonds and suggested going somewhere for a massage, by stealing a few dollars from our little drawer where we put away dollar bills each month to have on "rainy"  days.

The principle is similar to that of the Sabbath. Get away from the responsibilities. Go to a park when your kids are driving you nuts. Stop having school and go do something fun. Take a nap. Watch a movie instead of doing one more chore, buy some flowers when it is snowing for ten days straight--just shake things up a little. Life is still there tomorrow after the SOBeR club meeting, and after we've all blown off a little steam, we can then can face the responsibilities with a little bit fresher outlook.

SOBeR club met today after the flurry of the conferences. Tomorrow I will get back to responsibility--but tonight I am just going to go to sleep and snuggle up in my covers.

...

 If you could use a little encouragement  and even some practical help in motherhood, you might just like Desperate - Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe. Find it here!

Give Them an Inch and You May Walk a Mile ... Together

Why, hello! I'm Sally's assistant, Misty Krasawski, and I'm thrilled to be sharing with you here today, as Sally is taking a little R&R time away in Asheville with Sarah this week. 

One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered." ~Prov. 11:24-25

It had been a very long day, one full of the usual cooking and cleaning up messes, trying to keep up with writing obligations and phone calls, and too many worries were clogging my mind. Unfortunately I'd probably spent a little more time engaged in my "work" than in play, and the children had noticed.

A plaintive voice came from around the corner. "Mom!"

I tried to put him off. "Not now, I'm busy!" I said, returning to the stubborn gunk stuck to my kitchen floor.

"MOM~ I need you!!!"

Giving up, I tossed the rag I was using aside, swallowed a sigh of exasperation, plunked the bowl of soapy water I'd been slaving over onto the counter, and stomped a bit as I reluctantly turned from my work to follow him to the next room, wondering what he could possibly want this time.

"I got this for you," he said, offering a grubby fist gripping tightly onto the now-bent neck of a flower pulled from our walkway.

Instantly, my heart was struck. Here I was being frustrated with a child whose only intention was to bless. I got down on the floor and hugged him tight. "Oh, buddy! Thank you! I love that!" Putting him on my knee, I threw a quick prayer heavenward ... Forgive me, Lord. Forgive me for seeing only the mess stuck to the floor in front of me, and missing the beauty running around on two legs in the front yard. 

And then I wondered ...

How many times have I done that?

Don't you love those old-fashioned church signs, which give wonderful advice like, "Don't make Me come down there!" or this, my personal favorite, especially in the middle of a roasting Florida summer: "Think it's hot here?" There was one in our neighborhood last year which said, "Give the devil an inch and he'll want to be your ruler." So many great thoughts could be pulled out of that one. It comes from a saying, though, that I sometimes think subconsciously rules my reactions to my children: Give him an inch and he'll take a mile.

The truth is, I'm selfish. Though I'm an intentional person by nature and want to please the Lord; though I truly love my children and enjoy just being with them, still there is more of me left in me than I'd like to admit.

Motherhood takes a lot out of us. Day in and day out there are people in need and want, demands constantly being made, things that never seem to get crossed off the to-do list! Sometimes I withhold my *self* because I just don't want to give up any more of me. Times when I just cannot look into one more pair of eyes because my soul feels shrunken and there's just not enough in there to pour out one more drop.

Being in the midst of a move has meant many, many of those days piled up right on top of one another. Wiping down a dusty bookshelf this afternoon, I said to the Lord, "I cannot do this anymore. I'm drained and too tired. I cannot keep being nice and working so hard, I just can't."

You know what I heard Him say? "Okay. But look ... see? You are doing it. You know why? Because it's never you, anyway. It's always, always Me; and it's Me now and it will be Me tomorrow and the day after that. You can do it, because My spirit is in you. The same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead will quicken your body and you will find yourself able, day after day."

He promises strength to the weary, to bear us up in His arms, and I hear tell there are even green pastures out there. We don't have to keep our hearts covered up, hidden away from our spouses and children lest they ask for more than we can give. The funny thing is, the more I withhold, the more incessant the demands become. The more I pour out before it's requested, the more satisfied and peaceful my children are. Spending time with little ones early in the day affords chances to work with older ones as the afternoon works its way around. An impromptu date with a teenager curbs frustration and rebellion over little issues because they already know I love them and have their backs and don't feel I'm just the lady with the rulebook.

Needs met are tucked away satisfied, while needs ignored only grow in their intensity and demand.

Parenting is one area where giving an inch prevents the mile from being taken. Or perhaps it allows us to walk the miles together. We will find the proverb true when it comes to our time and effort as mamas ...

"One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered."

~Prov. 11:24-25

May we all give freely today!

 Misty Krasawski is wife to Rob, mama to eight wonderful blessings and a very grateful daughter of the King. She loves to bake, garden, eat chocolate, read, and make things pretty. She spends most of her online time as assistant to Sally Clarkson and part of the MomHeart Online team, but can also sometimes be found at her blog, Encouraging Beautiful Motherhood.

Also, don't miss Angela Perritt's article today at MomHeart Online, reminding us to speak words that water souls! 

...

"Often times I come away from a book on mothering feeling worse than I did before. Most authors present one way of doing things and the book makes the author look like supermom and that, we too, can be supermom if we just follow their plan. Desperate is the complete opposite - it shows us how all mothers struggle and helps us climb out of the suffocating trenches of mommyhood." -Amazon review

If you could use a little encouragement  and even some practical help, you might just like Desperate - Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe. Find it here, and then head on over to the book club today as Sarah Mae is discussing Chapter 8 - Escaping!

Modeling Every Day what you want your children to become! Mentoring Monday

My lovely, beautiful of heart, gentle and very powerful, Sarah--first born.

(FIND HER AT: http://www.thoroughlyalive.com/)

Modeling: One serving as an example to be imitated or compared, an ideal to be copied

"A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher."

Luke 6:40

 Scripture tells us the the disciple becomes like his teacher. So, the teacher must be and live out what he wants his pupil to know and be. What you are in your home is what you are.

Often times when people hear that Clay and I were grace-based in our discipline philosophy, they automatically assume that we didn't require much from our children.

Yet, just the opposite was true. We are both idealists and hold the highest of standards. We wrote the 24 Family Ways because we wanted our children to have a pattern of excellence, a foundation of what was true, truths to pattern their lives after.

Even as a piano student must practice scales in order to begin the process of becoming a concert pianist, so a child must practice and memorize truth and obeying truth in life before the child is ready to move into leadership on a big scale.

I wanted my children to understand that loving God was grounded in loving His word, listening to His voice, thanking and acknowledging Him daily, obeying His standards, being  holy--set apart for Him, required that I lived this out to the best of my ability every day, all the time.

I wanted to pass on a model of a holy life, one dedicated truly to God's standards and values for me, one set aside for His purposes.

Immorality is ramant in this world and is destroying children, families, heritages and potential of vibrant, holy, righteous adults.

If we want our children to obey us and to choose to be disciplined and excellent, then we cannot practice compromise, laziness in work or spiritual issues and expect them to obey.

But ,this life is not passed on my giving the right rules or having them memorize the right verses.

The life of God in a person is lived out each moment, by watching a company of adults and family and friends live a holy, excellent, disciplined life before them. It is also given in the oxygen of love breathed and sprinkled at each turn, worship modeled by noticing a sunset or song admired when a child performs it, a servant's heart evident through a mama through the beauty cultivated by a meal well-cooked, a rose in a vase, a warm blanky wrapped around a tiny cold body, --all of this work, diligently pursued, work daily wrought for the glory of the creator.

Authentic, devoted, purposeful relationship is the conduit through which faith is passed on to another.

Modeling is not something that can be passed on by keeping a rule or memorizing scripture. Modeling and influencing another in godliness is only effective if it is authentic, real and lived out in the teacher who is in authority.

But I had a model who helped me know just how to be authentic--Jesus.

Pondering Him, copying Him, loving Him, living His ways gave me the confidence to know that what I followed would bring blessing in the lives of my children, because modeling myself after the best teacher was what I passed on to my own precious ones.

I could not be perfect, but I could be passionate about my love for Him, and grow in maturity, righteousness and character in front of my children, showing them how to discipline their own lives for finding maturity and growth.

It was deeply fulfilling for me to be with Sarah Mae and to hear her own evaluation of my sweet first born daughter and what she now observed in her soul, after watching her speak at the Dallas conference.

"Sarah is such a great speaker. She speaks with such eloquence and depth. She is so poised and lovely. She is such a model for what I would love to be."

How fun that the two Sarah's in my life should admire each other. They have built relationship by being together several times, so now they are getting to understand each other as friends.

But seeing Sarah Clarkson, was like seeing the philosophy I lived out in my home. Sarah Clarkson was now the book of m life that Sarah Mae was reading.

How to do this?

I loved God in front of my children every day, with all of my heart. I may have waffled in other areas, but I wanted this to be the best thing about me--to love engaging in His word, to depend on Him, seeking to obey Him, to talk about His truth, to hear His voice, to choose to believe, and to live in that faith.--

because I knew that it was what my children most needed--a model of what it really looked like to know and love and serve Him.

So, today, I give you my sweet Sarah, and I know your life and soul will be greatly encouraged by her own words--her own life now of loving God, and letting Him speak truth and beauty and reality in her life.

PLEASE KEEP READING. THIS POST WILL ENLARGE AND VALIDATE YOUR OWN LIFE AND YOU WILL BE SO GLAD YOU TOOK THE TIME--and even encourage you to find where strength and wisdom can be found!

Favored by Sarah Clarkson

Last week, on a dim, freezing morning with snow in a billow out the window, I read Mary’s Magnificat.

I’ve spoken about Mary lately in the talk I give at the conferences – the way she entered into becoming chosen because of the way she perceived and entered into the story of God. The Magnificat is her own lyrical commentary on that story and I’ve studied it before; when I wrote on Mary for my book, I became aware that her song is woven of Psalm, prophecy, and history. Every line in it alludes to another portion of Scripture, a story already told, a Psalm already sung. In order to have made such a song, Mary must have spent her young lifetime immersed in the words and story of Yahweh. She must have listened long and pondered deeply, for when she opened her mouth in praise she consciously joined herself to an ongoing chorus that had its beginning centuries before. The Magnificat is remarkable for its display of Mary’s spiritual knowledge and insight.

But as I read her mighty song on my cold morning, I was startled to realize that it is also remarkable for its individuality. It is a surprisingly personal song, framed in personal pronouns. Mary is singing the story of the world’s salvation, but she doesn’t see herself as subsumed in the plot. She still says “me.”  She doesn’t sing merely of the general blessedness of God’s people, she sings of the honor that God’s choice brings her personally. All generations will call me blessed. The Mighty One has done great things for me. Over and above God’s plan to redeem, she knows she has been personally honored, hand-chosen and in addition to being saved from her sins, she will be famous for her blessedness throughout the ages.

My heart thumped an extra beat as I finished. Something in me that fears presumption found Mary’s proclamations bold. Is personal triumph allowed to bondservants? Isn’t that a bit impertinent?

I went about my day, my questions unresolved. Soon, in fact, I forgot them. I wrestled my car through snow and slush on countless day-before-conference errands and pulled into the last parking lot of the day exhausted, just as my phone rang. The call was one answering my inquiry into a possibility for my future that had greatly excited me the week before. There were some obstacles to be ironed out before the way was clear, but I had every hope and indication that the person on the other end of that phone could help. Until we actually spoke.

My ear was filled for the next thirty minutes with a calm voice that informed me in terms of technical accuracy and tones of professional cordiality that there was absolutely no possibility for me. I could try, I was informed, but the ceaseless, steady waterfall of information poured into my ear seemed designed to convince me that the effort would be wasted and I would be a fool to begin.

I held my own until I hung up the phone. Then I sat in the cold, colorless silence of my car and felt myself shrinking, reduced to the size of the viewpoint of the person with whom I had just talked. I was chilled. And strangely, almost afraid, reminded as I have been many times in the past years, that in a world that measures worth in money, power, and signed papers, I have very little pull. The bleakness of it seemed to make me smaller in my seat as my hope, temporarily, failed.

But not two minutes had passed before Mary and her bold song reached into my memory from the morning. For He has regard for the humble state of his bondslave… The Mighty One has done great things for me, holy is his name!… All generations will call me blessed… Sitting there, I realized, in a keen way that I never have before, that I am the humble and the lowly. I am the hungry and powerless. I’m not rich or mighty, I do not sit on a throne and in the world’s eyes, I have nothing.

But I am also the blessed. For I, like Mary, am the bondslave of the living God. Imperfect, yes. Frail, oh yes. But wholly given to the call and identity of one whose story is in God’s keeping and part of his cosmic telling of redemption. I forgot it for that first moment after the call. I listened to a voice whose narration told away my confidence and hope. But the hope came back with the memory that as God’s servant I live, not in my own power, not by my own wits and credentials, but by the love, and grace, and very personal favor of God. And the Mighty One can do great things for me as I live out his story.

As I shivered in my car seat with a snow day sunset glooming on the horizon, I realized that those who choose the identity and work of a bondservant to God can claim and request the acts of God in a very personal way. God’s chosen ones are not faceless nonentities who work as holy robots to fulfill his plans. They are living, breathing, deeply emotional human souls in needy bodies who offer the whole of their selfhood to God. Mary knew this, so she also knew that when God tells the big story of salvation forward, the smaller tale of individual human hearts goes forward too. We are known. Our needs are known. And somehow, as God rights the broken story of the world, he makes our own tiny story a blessed one too.

When the Holy Spirit overshadowed Mary, redemption began with the baby Jesus, yes. Big story. But part of that meant that Mary was honored for all time. Smaller story, but for her, the triumph of a lifetime. Jesus’ coming was the world’s salvation. And God’s choice of Mary to be the vessel was the honor of a young girl’s diligent engagement with the story of God. God so loved the world, but Mary loved God in the small way she knew, and he honored that love even as he brought redemption to the earth. To triumph in the mighty acts of God, to find a personal favor tucked within the great gifts he offers the world is what it means to be a bondservant to a God whose knit us together in our mother’s wombs.

So I will not fear. I am the servant of the Lord and the Mighty One will do great things for me. I don’t yet know what that means. I don’t know if the opporunity I was hoping for will open up or not. But God’s story is my story and mine is God’s, and he tells the both of them well. My one humble, hoping little human heart will not be lost in the crush of a greater tale. For he has regard for the humble. And one day, with Mary, I will be able to tell just how he lifted the world up, and me along with it. Favor indeed.

My Sarah, it has been a great honor to be your teacher and to now be mentored by you! Mama

FIND ALL OF SARAH'S WONDERFUL, SOUL-FILLING ARTICLES AT: THOROUGHLYALIVE.COM

So, what are you modeling in front of your children? How are they becoming like you, their teacher?

And don't miss Kat Lee's wonderful article at MomHeart Online, as she talks about the Power of Purposeful Motherhood!

Battling Depression, Part Three: Writing Your Own Story Well

Frans Von Mieris

This is the final post in this series on battling depression. You can find Part One here and Part Two here.

One of the beautiful arts of a godly woman is to write her own story of life well, intentionally and with skill,  in the midst of the one she has been given. But to write well a tale that will endure and inspire, requires a committed heart, a devoted heart of faith, and the will to endure and work hard to live with choices that will renew hope and bring life. It is God's desire to support us in our story, but we must desire from our hearts to embrace His ability to enter into our stories to make them great.

How will your life write and tell of God's faithfulness? How will you bring beauty out of chaos;  integrity and faith to difficulty and testing, love to a loveless situation; hope and light to darkness? We have such great capacity to redeem our stories and to give our children a memory of how we used the strength of God and hard work and a commitment to love to bring about life and to change the ending of the story we have been given. I have seen so many women exercise their intelligence, wisdom and skill to create a story of life that brings hope and gives value. It is natural to give in to despair, it is supernatural to mount up over your story with the life and grace the Holy Spirit wants to provide through you. Heroines are made by being brave in difficulty, when giving up or being fearful would have been the natural response. But to mount up requires a will--a will that says, I will refuse to be overcome; I will trust God, battle for His ways, and work to make my story one of meaning, nobility and goodness. Because I have Him, all things become possible.

5. Read, read, read. C.S. Lewis said that we read to know we are not alone. My favorite authors became my friends. Inspiration of other women and men, who had made a difference fueled my soul with courage in my own dark places. Just reading about their lives and stories fed my soul and showed me how to live my life. In the absence of having older women or grandmas in my life, the books and biographies I read aloud to the kids and myself  became my friends and fellowship--especially throughout the 17 moves. I needed a friend, so my books became my friends and fellowship and shaped my life.

6.Organize relationships in life so that you can be blessed. I have had to start many groups and Bible studies and kids' groups in my home. But when we initiate or organize a way for friends to meet, we find that we are blessed in the midst of it. I have started book clubs (where you read a book and then get together for dinner and discuss it); once a month dinners for several families, prayer groups for myself with a few close friends; taking turns to host all the families at a home; started Bible studies for the girls and their moms and the boys and their dads (Clay did that); tea parties, picnics, meet-at-the-park days, Christmas parties and so on.

Some of these attempts fizzle, but some end up blessing me and our children.We had a spontaneous meal with a friend the other night and we all had so much fun and felt so loved in the midst, and I just ran into her at the grocery store. It was worth the trouble to get together.  Often when we are so busy, we don't take time for things like this and eventually we become lonely.

Often just reaching out to others or opening my home, brings more friends my way and in the long term meets my needs. I also plan things I know I will enjoy into my schedule--Saturday morning breakfasts downtown with Sarah and a long walk by all the old mansions, hot chocolate with Joy; breakfasts with my boys, alone dinners at home with Clay when I feel like I miss him--I send the others out for a trip to a book store/coffee shop and I light candles and have a simpler dinner all alone--without anyone bothering our conversation.

I also save each year for travel by putting away 10-15 dollars a month--because for me to get away from home and dishes and internet and phone calls is always a great break and rest for my ADHD, restless soul--and of course I keep chocolate hidden to have as a treat on a needed day and always have tea in a real china cup with candles lit and civility--even if just for 15 minutes. When I organize life with delight, I often find I end up with a happier soul and fun and make friends in the midst. All the leaders I have ever known have said that they always have to initiate more to people and people don't always reciprocate, but I would rather have the opportunity to have friends and fellowship, even if I have to do the work, than to always be by myself.

Most of all, though, I remember, intentionally, over and over again, that God, my precious Father, loves me and wants me to experience His joy. I have resolved to look for His love and to receive His love by faith, even when I don't feel like it. He dearly loves each one of you precious moms, too,  and wants to lead you away from darkness or sadness and move you to joy and peace.

So, may His warm hand grasp yours in the midst of your darkness and may He lead you to a way to light a candle in the darkness so that you can see His face and be assured of His tender companionship in the midst of it all.

How different history will be when people choose to believe God right where they are, and who act in faith to build, renew, restore and to choose faithfulness in difficult relationships.

God is with you, who can be against you? May He lead you to become His warrior and to see Him fight your battles and to make all things new. God causes all things to work together for His good and He is suiting you and preparing you for heaven.

May your story give you a platform, an arena, in which you may find and spread God's light and may the ending of the story you write for your children and children's children give hope and reflect the faith in a God who redeems and loves beyond reason. Be blessed today.

Learning to be a Selfless mama and basking in the reward (Desperate--Chapter 7)

Everyone home for Thanksgiving and celebrating life together with Christmas around the corner.

Desperate, Chapter 7, Sacrifice in the mundane--on selfishness!

"Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15: 13

"You call Me Teacher and Lord; and you are right, for so I am. If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you."

John 13: 13-15

Everyone was expected home any time. Seven of us at every meal plus the 4-10 others of the kids' friends who would just drop in and want something "wondy" to eat, after all, they said, "This is our holiday--our time off!"

Funny how mamas don't get time off on holidays! But, putting one foot in front of the other, willing my tired self,  was familiar and a habit that had served me well. (I had company over the weekend, a dinner for 10 women, and written to a deadline until midnight the night before everyone was due home--not to mention all the cooking and baking.)  The joy set before me--my beloveds, my dearest friends, my children, were all here to celebrate in the love we had created over the years--and this gave me the impetus to keep going a little longer, but with a light  and expectant heart.

Finally the hustle and bustle of everyone arriving home. Eating, movie, desert, dishes, messes, staying up late and talking, followed by the Thanksgiving meal, 17 in the house, cooking and cleaning up again, and finally I fell into bed almost asleep before I hit the pillow at midnight, after having cleaned up the messes again.

Two hours later, I felt a tapping, tapping, tapping on my arm. "Mama, wake up. Please wake up."

I was so deeply asleep, I had trouble figuring out where I was! I opened my thick eyelids, still groggy, and there was Joy's sweet face, eyebrows furrowed and looking intently.

"Mama, would you please get up with me. I hate to wake you up but I need you."

My mind told my body to get out of bed, that this is what I was supposed to do.

By the time I got followed her to her bedroom, I was finally waking up.

"I threw up because I can't breathe very well. I think I just have asthma from a respiratory infection, and if I was at school, I would have just sweat it out, but since I am home, I wanted my "mama" to be with me and comfort me."

And so, for the next two hours, I pampered her as best as possible. Bubbly drink, with straw, puffed up pillows, soft blanket on the couch, soft music, fire in the fireplace, asthma treatment, and endless times of rubbing her head, stroking her brow as when she was a little child.

"Mama, I wasn't so sick that I couldn't have handled it, but I have missed you so much and I just wanted you. Do you mind?

I realized when I was away at college that I always had an expectation that if I needed you in any way, you would always come. And I didn't just need you to take care of me tonight, I wanted to talk to you and just be with you to tell you everything that has been on my hear the last few months. Thanks for letting me know deep inside that I could ask you and know you would comfort me and that you would be willing to be with me--even in the middle of the night. I love you, mama!"

And finally, as the sun was peaking through our windows in soft pinks and purples, her breathing eased, her voice stopped the chatter of a heart shared, and my sweet one, now a young adult, once again fell asleep on my lap, and this time, I relished every minute.

********************************************************************************

One of my biggest adjustments to motherhood was the constant giving, giving, giving. I had been the only girl in my family, and the youngest and truly had never been trained or prepared to be a mama. I did not even know I was selfish because I had lived my life pretty selfishly all of my life and had never really been accountable to anyone. But then when I had my children and they were always always always there, I did not have anything in me that knew how to handle the burdens.

When they were very young, I sort of blamed them and became frustrated with them and sometimes felt deep anger--as though it was somehow their faults for being children and needing me. Or even just that they were alive and needy seemed too much. I had never faced my own selfishness until I had children.

Now as an adult, I can see that my children have been my training grounds for building godly character in my own life. Jesus wanted me to learn to be like Him so He gave me children.

When I was so very helpless and overwhelmed and wanted answers, I turned to Him and to the Bible. How did He influence His disciples? How did he lead them in such a way that they all gave their lives to His cause?

Oh, how I wish the answer had been an easier one--Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friend.

And then, He, the God of the universe, knelt down on the dirty floor and washed 120 dirty toes of men feet, the night He was going to sacrifice His life for these very same men!

Oh, Jesus, I never knew this is what it would take to be a true Christian--a believer with integrity. But, if giving up your life is what you did--as you said, for an example for me to follow, then it must become my own standard-the way to reach my own children--to lay down my life....

My time

My body

My energy

My emotions

My things

My dreams

Myself--greater love has no one than this

But, as I look back now, many years and many mistakes later,

Yet many moments of practicing what I knew was right

no sleep, washing one more dish, making one more meal, laughing at jokes, correcting attitudes, hugging, giving words of life, playing, and doing it all over again,

I now have my very own disciples who have given up their lives for His cause.

But now, they are my dearest and best friends and favorite people.

Selflessness, not a popular or contemporary value--Yet, it is what He is like. He only requires from us what He has first given--all of ourselves.

Fellowship with Him through this journey of motherhood, the deep places where our lives finally begin to understand what it took Him to redeem our own lives--the giving up, totally offering up His rights and time for ourselves, His very own children.

"When I finished reading this book, I immediately told Aileen that she would find it rich and encouraging. I want her to read it, because I know it will bless her...I very much enjoyed reading Desperate and am convinced that it will bless and encourage any mother who reads it." -From a review by Tim Challies, Challies.com

 Past Book Study Posts:

Tantrums in Barnes & Noble, The Motherhood Nod, and Being Rocked (Desperate Book Club – Introduction)

Desperate Online Book study, Chapter 1: Ideals and Going Under

Chapter 2: Not a Loner!

Chapter 3: Will We Live By Formula or Faith?

Chapter 4: Light a Candle, Don’t Curse the Darkness (Battling Depression)

Chapter 5: We See the Holes but God Sees the Holy

Chapter 6: Oxen, "Five-sies", and a Foundation of Love

Even The Best of Plans Go Awry

Joy found the tub in the hotel to be the best place to escape from the noise of the rest of us! (She looks so young!)

As we're about to wrap up our final weekend of conferences, the engagements and travels of many years come to mind. One I shared in The Mom Walk, and I thought you might enjoy this story of a time my own ideals proved impossible to reach!

Several years ago, the girls and I were given the wonderful opportunity to travel to Australia for several days of speaking and travel. The plans called for eighteen days of speaking--twenty-nine times total, in five different cities! Obviously we were very excited about the trip. We were dreaming of kangaroos and koalas, exploring places we'd only seen in pictures, and having an adventure together.

Little did we know the adventures would begin before we left the driveway!

I had high ideals for all I could accomplish before we left. Plans to stock the freezer with homemade food, leave the house in tip-top condition, and spend a lot of quality time with the boys (who would remain behind this time) were on my agenda. However, it seems my agenda went unnoticed by several key players.

One morning just before our trip, there was grocery shopping to be done. Opening my car door after an evening of freezing temperatures, I was puzzled by the brown freckles that had apparently appeared overnight--all over every surface of the car! Puzzled, I searched for the source--and found it in an empty Diet Dr. Pepper can. One of the children (names withheld to protect the guilty!) had left an unopened can in the car and the freezing temperatures had caused it to explode!

The very next morning, we returned from church ready to enjoy our usual relaxing Sunday afternoon routine. Heading upstairs to change clothes, I stepped into my bathroom ... and a puddle of water! The entire closet, bathroom, and half my bedroom were sopping wet. Clay shut off the under-sink water valve and ran to the garage to discover that the cold weather had wreaked havoc on our pipes, and there was water spewing all over the furniture, books, and pictures stored there--all precious things in storage between moves, including my library.

So much for a quiet, relaxing afternoon! Ripping up carpet, moving furniture, and frantically moving books and clothing to other rooms became the activity of the day.

By the time we left for our trip, we had eaten fast food for almost every meal, I wracked up a big library fine, got into a useless argument--about clothing!--with one of my teenage sons, and missed a child's piano lesson (which had to be paid for, regardless.) I put my credit card into the receipt outlet at a gas station and had to use my fingernails and a screwdriver to get it out--a little distracted, you say?! There were no meals lovingly stacked in the freezer, and as we drove to the airport, Clay suddenly asked, "What happened in here? This car is filthy! What is that junk all over the dashboard and seats? Good grief, it smells in here."

When I finally settled into my seat, thrilled to just be sitting after the previous several weeks of craziness, I breathed a deep sigh of relief. We were off!

And then, it began. The voice of the enemy and my own inner accusations ...

How can I speak to all these women? We have been in full-time ministry for over thirty years, and I can't even keep the car clean! Why don't I have my act together? What a failure these two weeks have been!

I leaned back into my chair, taking my concerns to my Heavenly Father. What did He think? I opened my Bible, and there was His answer--a comfort to my hear ...

Just as a father has compassion on His children, So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust."  ~ Psalm 103:13-14

How I needed that reminder that day! The One who created man and woman from dust knows--remembers!-- that we are dust. Whew!

Now if only I would remember that more often! Now, I wonder, what will this week of conferences hold?! Can't wait to see so many of you this weekend. I so loved being with such precious ones in Dallas.

Checking to be sure there are no unopened soft drinks sitting in the car........

Lighting The Candle: Battling Depression, Part Two

After each conference, I have had an ear-full and a heart full of stories fresh from the hearts of sweet mamas. Many marriages mended since last year. Mamas feeling inspired and whole after healing their relationships with difficult children. A sweet homeless mama who was treated to a conference last year and given a roll away bed--back again this year with 15 other women, having a new life, a new home and stability since a year ago. Dallas  also reminded me of the difficulties of living in a world that is fallen, one groaning to be restored to the original design of Jesus--I learned of a sweet baby who died several days ago, not being able to live any longer on life support; a young woman ending her life as a teen; a miscarriage; a husband who left his family behind for an affair. Yes, there are many stories of broken lives and pain.  (If you missed it last week, you can find part one of this series here: Light a Candle, Don't Curse the Darkness.)

Loneliness, sadness, discouragement can indeed invade our lives daily and in ways we never imagined.

My sweet friend and I talked today of how each of us has heartbreak and our own "thorns". Yet, we also talked of the hope and restoration and life He has given us in our own lives after many years of waiting--waiting for healing, for prayers to be answered, for His ways to become visible in dark and difficult places, and yes, to see that He is indeed God and that He is good.

Both of us talked of how much these trials had softened our hearts toward others in need. Now, we have more compassion and the ability to identify with many women, and a knowledge of the comfort we can offer as we share what helped us through our own difficulties. Learning to see God's fingerprints and His goodness, even in the midst of the battle, is a gift--we hold fast to His goodness by our will, by our faith, because we have seen His faithfulness and goodness come through after waiting on Him and letting Him be the Lord of our lives.

Now a few more points of encouragement to continue the series:

3. Learn every day, in every circumstance. I observed a very difficult relationship problem this week and the sadness of it deepened my compassion for those who are lost and hurting. It even made me rethink some messages I was working on for an upcoming mission trip. They will now be much more filled with grace, comfort and love, because of the lessons I learned in my own circumstances. I had a choice--to let the hurt overwhelm me or to say, "What can I learn? How can I move forward in graciousness and be sure that I never do this to anyone? What does a person who has been hurt like this need? How can I pass on this kind of love and comfort in my messages?" God's hand can deepen our hearts and love--He can turn things out for the good--when we walk the road with Him as our Counselor.

Your story becomes the platform for your message--your chronicle of God's goodness--if you embrace it as a place where God will intervene and turn everything out for good in His time.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28-29.

4. Figure out what is bothering you and resolve to get rid of as much stress as you can. I met a young mom last week who was very down and crying. She was very hard on herself and felt like a failure as a mom and was quite discouraged with her children. I asked how old her children were and she said they were 7, 5, and 6 months. Then I asked her if she had gotten a full night of sleep lately. Immediately her tears began to fall and she said, "No, and I feel like this season will never end."

We arranged for a friend to keep her precious children for an overnight, and this mom had time alone and time to sleep 9 hours, and by the time I saw her again, she was a different person. "I thought I wasn't going to make it, but you can't imagine how much better I feel about life and I even missed my children. I feel totally different about my circumstances."

Sometimes it just takes sleep to feel better. It is easy, when our feelings are overwhelming, to ignore our physical and emotional needs. Recreation, sleep, pleasure, love and grace are all things we can add to our lives which will indeed provide us the ability to keep going with strength.

Sometimes, it is the messes or the "relentless of it all" that pounds us down to our low places. It is at these points that sometimes, I have stopped all activities for a couple of days and just spent time getting everything back together. I hired someone to help me put my house back in order again and then I felt immediately better and lighter of burdens.

Other times, I have made a fun plan--to make time to do some things that I knew would fill up my emotional cup--as well as put things into my schedule to look forward to. Years ago, in the spring, I would always plan a fun trip for me and the kids and some other friends. This is the time of year I would become weary of the relentless work and Clay had to work long hours, so I would plan a short (or long!) history trip out of town with a friend and it gave us a break from mundane life, and we all became better friends and my children and I had a great diversion from the mundanity of life. After the Raleigh conference, Sarah and I will travel once again to Asheville for a few days, as we've done for six years now. Can't wait.

5. Of course, pray and spend time with the Lord. We are indeed needy people in a fallen world, and yet we have the profound privilege of coming into the presence of God with hope, because He listens to prayers and because He listens and answers us even as we would answer our own children. Learning to persevere in prayer and wait for God has been a lesson He has been teaching me for a long time. Often the very things I was worried about, over time, changed and showed me that He was working all along. When a toddler is exhausted yet doesn't want to take a nap, a kind parent will see that he gets one anyway, even without the child's permission! So God, who knows what is best for us, will put up with our tantrums and put us down for a nap against our will, because He knows what is best for us. So the sooner we learn to submit to His plan, the more easily we will find contentment and joy.

I do not want to make light of the many struggles we all face. But learning how to accept the limitations of this world, and choosing to see God's fingerprints amidst the days of trials, has given me peace, assurance and comfort to leave all the details in my life in His hands and to trust that in His time, He will indeed work all things together for His good.

May you know His grace and love today, amidst your life.

...

Need some encouragement today in the area of mothering? Perhaps you might find it in my newest book, Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe.

"With Desperate, Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson touch the tender, innermost depths of a mother’s heart. Sarah Mae articulates the struggles that may have remained unspoken in all of us. She is courageous and breathtakingly honest while giving voice to the real challenges of motherhood and the frailty of a woman’s soul. Sally Clarkson answers those anguished thoughts with sage, sound, gentle mentoring and the kind friendship of a woman who has walked the same path. Together, they offer today’s desperate (or even simply soul-weary) mothers hope, encouragement, and a tangible roadmap for navigating the rough paths along motherhood’s journey."

—Elizabeth Foss, author, Small Steps for Catholic Momsand Real Learning: Education in the Heart of the Home

Get your copy of Desperate here.

And don't miss SarahMae's discussion of Chapter Six here: Oxen, Five-sies", and a Foundation of Love!

Pulling in to my "Circle of Quiet" to keep my soul Alive

A circle of quiet in California after the mom's conference

Today, my circle will be quite different, in the cold, stark winter day on the opposite coast. But again, it will be in nature--celebrating life with my lovies.

Each of us, each day, is pouring out our lives. And yet, we all know that eventually, if you pour the contents of a pitcher out, it will become empty, unless it is refilled.

I poured out in Dallas--not perfectly, but all that I had.

And so today, I am in Raleigh, North Carolina, hiding, sequestered away with Sarah and a sweet friend, looking out on the winter trees, afrost with a bit of  snow and cold,

sitting in my red nightgown,

sipping Yorkshire Gold tea and listening to soft, instrumental music.

I am reading Circle of Quiet and pulling away, so that I may have something more to give next weekend at one more mom's conference.

Something does not come out of nothing (unless of course you are the Creator of the world who spoke light out of darkness).

And so I know that each day, I must pull away to refill, in order to be sure there is something of substance from which others may draw.

Here is what I read today that is a balm and reality to my own day ...

"We are four generations under one roof this summer, from infant Charlotte to almost-ninety Great-grandmother. A lot of the time it is twelve, and even more to feed. Cooking is the only part of housekeeping I manage with any grace; it's something like writing a book: you look in the refrigerator and see what's there, choose all the ingredients you need, and a few your husband thinks you don't need, and put them all together to concoct a dish. Vacuum cleaners are simply something more for me to trip over; and a kitchen floor, no matter how grubby, looks better before I wax it. The sight of a meal's worth of dirty dishes, pots, and pans makes me want to run in the other direction.  

Every so often I need OUT; something will throw me into total disproportion, and I have to get away from everybody -- away from all these people I love most in the world -- in order to regain a sense of proportion. 

I like hanging sheets on lines strung under the apple trees -- the birds like it, too. I enjoy going out to the incinerator after dark and watching the flames; my bad feelings burn away with the trash. But the house is still visible, and I can hear the sounds from within; often I need to get away completely, if only for a few minutes. My special place is a small brook in a green glade, a circle of quiet from which there is no visible sign of human beings. There's a natural stone bridge over the brook, and I sit there, dangling my legs and looking through the foliage at the sky reflected in the water, and things slowly come back into perspective. If the insects are biting me -- and they usually are; no place is quite perfect -- I use the pliable branch of a shad-blow tree as a fan. The brook wanders through a tunnel of foliage, and the birds sing more sweetly there than anywhere else, or perhaps it is just that when I am at the brook I have time to be aware of them, and I move slowly into a kind of peace that is marvelous, "annihilating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade." 

If I sit for a while, then impatience, crossness, frustration, are indeed annihilated, and my sense of humor returns."

~Madeleine L'Engle

For me, if I sit for a while, quietly, just listening to my music, reading my Bible, quietly, quietly, alone and rest--today is my sabbath day--then the assurance that He is in control, that my life is held and that all the fears and "gnats swarming around my head" are not a real threat in my life, then I will have enough to keep going and truth and beauty to keep giving.

This is harder to come by in some seasons--seasons of babes and teens when someone needs me all the time--but if I look for this time to restore, I know all will be more at peace as I have been a mom who took time to pull in to a center of quiet.

"Peace be with you today, the Lord is near."

And yes, in time, I will get back to mentoring Monday--but today, I will keep my priorities in order so that my soul will stay alive.